There is no order in my life; there is only chaos, and boxes, and dust. When oh when will it end.  You can be frank with me if the answer is never.

I’m not even going to try to be orderly with the gift ideas; I am just going to post them one after another and then go pack another box.

I was going to unintentionally lie to you and tell you I bought these small French Bull bowls last year for myself after not getting them for Christmas, but right on the product page it says I bought them December 2nd so apparently I was impatient.

(image from Amazon.com)

I spent nearly $18 for them, and I thought that was a very silly price to pay for four little plastic bowls, but Paul and I each have our own little allowances for exactly this kind of purchase, and I am so glad I sprang for them because I use them ALL THE TIME. Furthermore, it’s been a year and I still get a little heart-leap every time I choose one from the stack. I have other perfectly good little plastic bowls but I always choose one of THESE. I meant to recommend them to you before but I’ve had them in my cart for months and months waiting for a good price and they’ve been in the Really Truly Unreasonable range, like $35 plus $6.99 shipping. Now they are hovering around $20, $21, $22, and that is in good Gift Territory. (I just ordered the four matching spreaders for myself. It’s ludicrous. When do I use little spreaders? But they have been making my heart leap for a YEAR in the Amazon cart, and it is TIME.)

My sister-in-law bought Paul a giant bar of Duke Cannon soap one Christmas and now he is spoiled and uses nothing else. I’m thinking of getting him this three-pack of new scents (these are the scents he’s been using):

(image from Amazon.com)

They are expensive but they are huge, and he does not have many things in his life I would categorize as Indulgences, whereas I am surrounded by French Bull bowls and deep-conditioning hair masques and forty different coffee mugs.

We are trying to decide if $50 is too much to spend for this Galton Board for one of our older boys (19 and 17):

(image from Amazon.com)

It’s really neat, and I saw a large one in a museum and found it hypnotizing for longer than I would have expected, and we are desperate for gift ideas for them, and they like stuff like this—but on the other hand, it’s kind of a one-trick pony.

I am planning to get lenticular playing cards for all three littler kids (13, 13, and 11):

(image from Amazon.com)

The main problem is deciding who gets the cat ones, since those will be the favorite. I’m also considering dogs and motion and birds. (There are also dinosaurs, which makes me a little sad because it wasn’t so long ago that those would have been the obvious choice for Henry, and that was such a fun stage but it has passed.) Maybe I will wrap three different decks and then give them randomly. Or maybe I will instead buy three packs of cat cards. Or maybe I will freeze with indecision and not order any after all.

I can’t tell you why Edward (13) wants this Otamatone so much, but he does, and my parents are giving him one:

(image from Amazon.com)

You can search “Otamatone” on YouTube to see how ridiculous these are. I am glad we are moving to a larger house, so that I can send Edward and this toy to the other end of it.

I’ve mentioned this shower radio before, but I continue to love mine and listen to it every morning, and it would be a nice gift for someone who doesn’t really need much or have room for much:

(image from Amazon.com)

Getting ready in the morning is SO BORING, and this makes it somewhat less boring.

William (17) loves Taco Bell Fire Sauce, and I have searched all our local stores and can only find bottles of Mild and occasionally Hot, but the Fire is available online so I ordered him a couple of three-packs of it for Christmas.

(image from Walmart.com)

I ordered Adam Ruins Everything for Rob (19):

(image from Amazon.com)

Have you seen his videos around Facebook or Twitter? I love them. They’re like Snopes, but videos.

I ordered Manifold: The Origami Mindbender for William.

(image from Amazon.com)

He likes origami, he likes puzzles, it seems like a good fit.

I’m not saying bowl covers are the hottest gift, but I’m getting a pack of them for Paul’s stocking now that they’re back under $5 (for awhile they were around $20, which, what?).

(image from Amazon.com)

He uses them all the time, and I like this retro pattern. I should warn you that the smallest ones in the set are REALLY SMALL, like shower caps for dolls. Hey, gift idea if your kids have dolls!

William had The Little Book of Thunks on his wish list so we bought it.

(image from Amazon.com)

Henry (11) had Island of Fire on his wish list (it’s book 3 of The Unwanteds series; he got book 1 and book 2 on previous occasions), so I bought it and also book 4 because it was on a good price (the hardcover was only a couple of dollars more than the paperback); if I end up with too much stuff for him for Christmas, I’ll give him book 4 for his birthday.

(image from Amazon.com)

Edward and Henry both wanted the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid book, so I got it.

(image from Amazon.com)

Basically if there is a book on a child’s list, I will buy it. Oh, speaking of books, I just got this from the library, and it’s a little too soon to call it but so far it seems like a GREAT gift book:

(image from Amazon.com)

What We Keep: 150 People Share the One Object that Brings Them Joy, Magic, and Meaning, by Bill Shapiro and Naomi Wax. Nice hardcover, illustrated with photos, good general-interest topic.

We’re getting The Indispensable Composers for Rob, who likes classical music and has Opinions about composers. At worst, he can scoff at how wrong the book is; at best, he will love it.

(image from Amazon.com)

We also got him The White Box: A Game Design Workshop in a Box, suggested by commenter Slim after the post about how impossible Rob is to buy for. This looks like exactly his kind of thing.

(image from Amazon.com)

Okay, back to the packing that will never be finished.

I would like to discuss Rob, who is 19 years old and impossible to buy for.

Before I launch into the reasons he is terrible, I would like to say that he was home for a few days for Thanksgiving break and he was an absolute treat. Well, there were a couple of moments that were less than treatlike, but he IS a college sophomore and we must expect that. In general he was funny and chatty and nice to have at home, and I enjoyed his visit.

And we got done the two major and important tasks I’d set for that time: (1) family Christmas card photo in front of the new house and (2) Rob’s flu shot. My dad said he’d think it would be in the college’s best interest to sponsor a nurse to just go around and give the shot to every student who doesn’t object, and I QUITE AGREE. (A pharmacy does come to campus and set up a station at certain times, but they charge for that and they don’t take insurance, and also last year Rob claimed to be unable to establish when they were there.)

Where was I? Oh, yes: Rob is impossible to buy for. Here are the things that make him impossible (some of which might be harvestable as ideas for the less-impossible or differently-impossible teenagers in your life):

1. He is in that stage of life when toys no longer appeal but household stuff is not yet exciting.

2. He lives mostly at college so he doesn’t have a lot of room/need for stuff.

3. He is of a minimalist/ascetic nature, and doesn’t WANT much stuff, and seems to be making a point of it. Remember this is the child who refused a second set of bedding/towels for college. (He has experienced zero regret and says he has never yet needed a second set of either. I sent him a Christmas-themed pillowcase and he got rid of his other pillowcase so he wouldn’t have two.)

4. He has declined “better version” things such as: better winter boots, better gloves, more-luxurious sheets, an expensive pillow.

5. He has declined “good for now and also for later” things such as luggage, a digital camera, a nice lamp, a tool set, a nice clock, dishes, spices, silverware, baking pans, kitchen appliances, a mini-fridge, minor pieces of furniture.

6. He says he has plenty of clothes and there are no special/expensive clothing items that appeal.

7. He doesn’t drink coffee. He doesn’t want a travel mug. He doesn’t get a thrill from eating out, so he doesn’t want gift cards to restaurants or pizza places. I asked if there were stores he would want gift cards for; he said no, he doesn’t need/want anything. (Plus, that’s sad/boring to unwrap.) I suggested Expensive Treats and he says he DOESN’T REALLY EAT SNACKS. I mean.

8. He plays a fair amount of music, so I asked if he wanted sheet music or another instrument or musical recordings or a stereo. No.

9. He’s not at all interested in grooming-related stuff—no fancy razors, no cool hair products, no nice face masks, no fancy shower products, etc.

10. He’s full-up on things such as Rubik’s Cubes and logic puzzles.

11. He doesn’t want puzzle books or regular books.

12. We already got him a portable phone charger and a super-fast plug-in phone charger.

13. There are no subscriptions he wants. He’s tried some of those in the past (audio books, study services, access to sites) and doesn’t want/need any right now.

14. I thought he might want money to put towards Reddit Gold or phone apps or some other such online thing, but no.

15. Normally a person like this might be a good candidate for Experience Gifts, but he is up to his hairline in Experiences right now: he’s taking classes, he’s taking voice lessons, he’s taking fencing lessons, he’s going to the campus gym, he’s attending meetings of various campus clubs. He has TOO MUCH to do, not too little.

16. Normally a person like this might be a good candidate for charitable donations in their name, but he is not yet at the stage where he wants this.

17. Normally a person like this might be a good candidate for NO PRESENTS AT ALL, but he is my child and I am fond of him and also I feel a certain obligation.

18. I suggested savings bonds, which is what one set of grandparents got me when I was a child. It’s a nice way to say “There might not be anything you want NOW, but I assume you will want things LATER.” He found this idea about as thrilling as I did when I was a child, which is to say not thrilling at all. Then he made a cynical remark about the possibility of our government/banks/money existing in the same way by the time the bond matured.

19. His birthday is very close to Christmas, so we need double ideas and we have almost none.

We have two ideas. One is his idea: a bike. One is my idea, but he said yes: a video game system to play with his roommates.

Problems:

1. We have an approximate budget of $100 for him for Christmas and another $100 for birthday. The video game system is $300 and that’s without additional controllers (it only comes with one controller and he has three roommates), cables, or games. (I’d thought the retro NES would be perfect for this at $80 for system/controllers/cables, but he’s meh about it: he wants to be able to buy current/new games.

1b. I mean, we could make the video game system a joint Christmas/birthday gift and just plan to spend more on him because he’s older and more difficult to buy for…but then he gets, what, one gift at Christmas and nothing on his birthday? This is probably our frontrunner plan but it seems sad.

1c. Another idea is we could buy a used system and buy him additional controllers/games.

2. I don’t know how to choose a bicycle or what it would cost, but he goes to college in a location with a lot of winter, so we think he is unlikely to use it as much as he thinks he would. And when we were like, “Where would you store it when you weren’t able to use it?,” he was like “Uhhhh….” Also he came late in life to bike-riding, and when he was home for the summer I had to take him to the ER because he didn’t know you can’t make a sharp turn in a sandy area, so I am in general Not Keen on him having a bicycle in a CITY. I mean, at this point I’m willing to consider it, but the idea makes me feel anxious and unhappy.

What I WISH I’d done was NOT ASK HIM. I could have just bought him some things I thought he could use, and too bad if they failed. But I wanted to be sensitive to his age and personality, and also I wanted to get him some things he would be glad to have, instead of some things he’d sneak onto our basement storage shelves, unopened. (I’ve been packing, and I’ve been finding a lot of those things.)

This Ecosphere is surprisingly expensive, but William wanted it last year so we got it for him:

(image from Amazon.com)

It’s a 4-inch glass sphere. Inside there is some vegetation, a nice little branch, some gravel, and two or three tiny shrimp. You can’t open it; it’s a contained system that runs on The Right Amount of Sunlight (you watch the vegetation, and if it gets too big you reduce the sunlight, or if it gets too small you increase the sunlight). William’s had it for a year, and two of the three shrimp are still alive.

The biggest pain is that you have to be available to accept the delivery in person when it arrives: it can’t, like, sit outside in the freezing cold. The second-biggest pain is that it needs some light every day, so you can’t store it in a closet until Christmas. Each day when William went to school, I’d take it out and put it near a window; I had an alarm set to remind me to pack it back in its box before the bus came back. …Boy, I am probably talking you right out of this. But William has really liked this gift, and especially in the beginning spent a lot of time watching the shrimp and monitoring the vegetation and being generally interested in the whole thing. One of the most enduringly successful gifts we’ve gotten him—and, once the gift is given and you no longer have to sneak it in and out of its box, a lot easier than a fish tank.

The pink wig I was so pleased with is marked down to $12.99 now. I bought another for myself but in sky blue.

(image from Amazon.com)

I am this close to buying it also in violet and dark brown.

The concept/cover/title of this book appealed to me, so I got it from our library:

(image from Amazon.com)

How To Be a Good Creature: A Memoir in Thirteen Animals, by Sy Montgomery. It took me a little while to get into the writing style; it’s fairly sentimental, as you’d expect. But I read the whole thing and enjoyed a lot of it, and it struck me as a very good gift book: great cover, general-interest topic, appealingly illustrated, good animal stories.

Friends gave me these flameless candles as a housewarming gift, and they are so great and so pretty (the candles, I mean, though also of course the friends):

(image from Amazon.com)

Several people in the group already owned them, and several more bought them after seeing mine, so now they’re The Official Flameless Candle of Our Group. The little “flame” wiggles around randomly so it seems like it’s really burning/flickering, and there is a REMOTE CONTROL so you can turn them on or off from your comfy chair, and best of all there’s a timer so you don’t forget and leave them on all night and wear out the batteries. They also come in a birch version, and in other colors including pink, yellow, and green. One friend bought the burgundy ones so I can tell you those are also super beautiful.

A timely suggestion considering the recent government report that climate change is “an immediate threat, not a far-off possibility” and that we can expect to see an uptick in natural disasters: the Life Straw!

(image from Amazon.com)

It’s at $12 right now, which is a pretty good price for it. I think lowest I’ve seen is $10 and the highest was $20.

The paint-by-sticker category has a new book: CATS.

(image from Amazon.com)

I will probably get this for Elizabeth. Or maybe it will have to be a whole-family gift.

I was going to get this NES Classic video game system for Paul so he could re-enjoy his youth, and I consulted with Edward (our household video game expert) about whether I should get the NES Classic or the Super NES Classic. Edward thought the NES Classic was better than the Super (it had to do mostly with the pre-loaded game selection), but he was so into it and so excited about it that I consulted with Paul and we decided to get it for Edward instead. (“As long as I can still play it too,” Paul clarified.)

(image from Amazon.com)

After reading the reviews, I also bought a second controller and a two-pack of extension cables. (The games are all pre-loaded, so you don’t have to buy any games, and in fact CAN’T buy any more games.)

If you don’t already own MasterMind (it’s a game like Monopoly or Sorry, where even if you don’t think you own it, you might very well own it), I recommend it—and as I’m posting this, it’s down to $9.50 which is a good price for it.

My nephew, who was six years old at the time, taught me to play it. It’s quick and simple to learn, but then it’s like Sudoku or one of those other games where you keep figuring out new strategies. I find it mind-stretching in a way that is probably very good for warding off Alzheimer’s / counteracting the effects of vodka tonics.

If you have kids who like to talk constantly about what the household cats are doing/thinking and what their facial expressions and postures are communicating, I suspect your kids would enjoy the book Breaking Cat News:

(image from Amazon.com)

Mine sure did, and “Ma’am? Ma’am?” is a frequent part of our familyspeak now.

If you have a cat who’s a bit on the chonkers side, or a cat who needs to eat slowly for some other reason, or a cat who has a high need for digging/playing, may we suggest this Catit cat-feeding device?

(image from Amazon.com)

I’m not saying Elizabeth and I attended a presentation given by a cat therapist on the topic of how to make your cat’s life happier, except we absolutely did do that, and this was one of the cat-life-improving items the therapist recommended. Apparently cats have an instinct/impulse to dig rodents out of holes, and this feeder satisfies that urge. We have two cats who would prefer to eat the easiest way possible and they just use the bowl, but we have one cat who gets bored and then finds her fun by tormenting the other two cats, and this feeder keeps her occupied many times a day. She will be up to her armpit in it just like the cat in the product photo.

What I like in a jigsaw puzzle is being able to pick which part I want to work on (a specific ornament on the tree, a specific compartment of the shadowbox, a specific bird, etc.) and work on that, and then pick another thing and work on that, and then join those things together. If you like the kinds of puzzles I like (as opposed to the kinds with vast expanses of sky/sea/foliage/mountain, or the kinds that are like just an impossible picture of a bunch of candy corn), may I recommend this doughnut one?

(image from Amazon.com)

And it only has 300 pieces, so it’s good for working on with mid-age children. (I also loved this 500-piece Pantone one, but I only see it available from third-party sellers with high shipping.)

I’m not saying this is an EXCITING present, but this small Honeywell is my favorite fan and at time of posting it is on sale for $9.99:

(image from Amazon.com)

I have it on my bureau at home. I bring it with me when I travel. (Except when I visit my brother/sister-in-law, because they already have the same fan in their guest room.) It can be tilted to various angles, and it has three speeds. I’ve had mine for years. I bought one for Rob for his dorm room. I bought another one just now because $9.99 is a nice price and there are a lot of rooms in our new house.

I just bought myself a little present to celebrate this past Tuesday’s elections:

(image from Amazon.com)

Sienna Sky Blue Wave earrings.

Which reminds me of two other pairs of earrings I’ve bought recently, both of which are bee-themed. If you are not friends with any pissed-off progressive women, you may not have heard that bees are the current symbol of how very pissed-off the progressive women are. Plus, bees are cute. Plus, bees are crucial to our survival and also endangered, so it’s Bee Awareness too.

(image from Ruby Spirit Designs on Etsy)

Vintage Bee Leverback earrings and the matching adjustable ring and necklace from Ruby Spirit Designs. The way Etsy works, if someone buys the exact earrings or ring or necklace I linked to, it’ll show as sold when you click through—but that doesn’t mean there are no more available: go to the shop’s link and see if another of the same item has been re-posted (sometimes it takes a few days). This seller is in the UK, so if you’re in the US and you want these as a holiday gift for someone, it would be wise to order early.

(image from Jen’s Bead Box on Etsy.com)

Brass honey bee earrings from Jen’s Bead Box. They also come in a silver version. These are small and pretty, and my mom commented that she kept noticing them moving near my ears as if they were hovering buzzily. Mine arrived looking shinier and more golden than I’d expected, but the brass has gradually darkened.

(image from PlanUSA.org)

If you’re shopping for someone who likes charity gifts, a $50 donation in their name to PlanUSA.org will protect a girl.

(image from Amazon.com)

Brazen: Rebel Ladies Who Rocked the World, by graphic novelist Pénélope Bagieu. A thrilling selection of women throughout history, comics-style. I loved it. And it makes a nice gift book: it’s a fancier/larger/denser paperback, with a textured cover.

(image from Amazon.com)

Rad Women Worldwide: Artists and Athletes, Pirates and Punks, and Other Revolutionaries Who Shaped History, by Kate Schatz, illustrated by Miriam Klein Stahl. Paul gave this to me and it’s still in my to-read pile, but I can tell you I certainly enjoyed receiving it. A nice hardcover.

(image from Amazon.com)

The Power, by Naomi Alderman. Revenge-fantasy fiction about what might happen if women developed a power that meant suddenly men were the ones who had to be scared about walking alone at night, while women could walk freely and comfortably.

(image from Amazon.com)

Why Liberals Win the Culture Wars (Even When They Lose Elections), by Stephen Prothero. Like many non-fiction books, this seems to me to be two essays’ worth of material padded to book length. I read until I caught the gist, then kept reading the point-reinforcing examples for awhile, then skimmed for awhile to more interesting examples, then felt in no need of further examples and stopped reading. Well worth the cost of the book: the gist has stayed with me in times of trouble, and it is a very reassuring gist.

This is Swistle from the future adding this next suggestion, which wasn’t yet published at the time of this post:

(image from Amazon.com)

The Future of Another Timeline, by Annalee Newitz. See review post.

I have been acquiring a collection of political/fundraising t-shirts. Most such t-shirts are unisex sizing, which generally means men’s sizing, which means they poof out around my shoulders and grip too tightly at the hip; those end up at the bottom of the drawer, or transferred to Paul’s drawer. (Can you imagine men putting up with “unisex” shirts that were baggy in the chest, narrow in the shoulders, maybe with a nice scoop neck and little cap sleeves? With a few organizations offering a “men’s” style option, which would only be available in limited sizes and would cost more money?)

Where was I? Oh yes: here are two shirts that are better than the usual unisex:

(image from ACLU.org)

ACLU basic tee. I’m not saying it’s fancy, but it’s a soft, comfy, drapier knit and I think it’s cute. It still looks like I’m wearing my boyfriend’s t-shirt, but it looks like that was a good idea instead of a bad one.

(image from HRC.org)

Human Rights Campaign Everyone Rainbow t-shirt. Almost as good fit-wise as the ACLU one. It’s kind of like CHILD-fit rather than boyfriend-fit or whatever: it reminds me of how it felt to wear clothes when I was a child and didn’t spend any time thinking about how annoying it was that unisex clothing was fitted for men. And it’s a more decorative/fun design than the ACLU one, if you’re looking for gifts. The Rainbow T-Shirt is another favorite; I have it in grey.

Speaking of everyone/equality/rainbow, I am not really a bumper-sticker kind of girl, but I have one of these equality stickers on the back of my car:

(image from HRC.org)

I like that it’s very, very simple but also A HUGE AND IMPORTANT CONCEPT COVERING MULTIPLE CURRENT ISSUES. Also: the way I feel when I see the same sticker on other people’s cars is the way I want those other people to feel when they see the sticker on mine.

Speaking of stickers, I also ordered a bee sticker. I’ll put it on the other side of the bumper.

(image from Amazon.com)

It feels like a secret and subversive signal to other members of The Hive.

If you haven’t already, I suggest spending time on Emily McDowell’s site. There you will find excellence such as:

(image from emilymcdowell.com)

American Values tote bag.

(image from emilymcdowell.com)

Everything Will Be Okay mug.

(image from emilymcdowell.com)

Patriarchy tote. I like the mug even more, but it’s out of stock and I didn’t want to get your hopes up with a picture of it and then say “Ha ha but you can’t have it right now!!”

(image from emilymcdowell.com)

Dystopia napkins.

Perhaps you know someone who still plays solitaire old-school:

(image from Amazon.com)

The Woman Cards.

This nail polish is a color I don’t even particularly like, but I have two bottles: one among my other polishes and one tucked away with my Hillary Clinton on a unicorn t-shirt (made of really wonderful-feeling cotton, but 100% men’s fit so it’s in a drawer) and 2016 campaign pins.

(image from Amazon.com)

OPI nail polish in Madam President. Within our lifetime, perhaps.

If we are really going to move between Thanksgiving and Christmas, that is going to cut into gift-post-writing time. I’m going to see what I can get done early. Here’s a bunch of stuff we got the twins for their 13th birthday, in case you have any kids of the same approximate age and interests to buy for:

(image from Amazon.com)

Kawaii Doodle Class. My 9-year-old niece had this book and was making sheet after sheet of the cutest drawings ever, so I bought the book for Elizabeth. SO MUCH CUTE. Highly recommend.

(image from Amazon.com)

Cute cat pens to wrap up with the book.

Edward got Kanoodle last Christmas and wanted Kanoodle Genius for his birthday. We’re getting him Kanoodle Extreme this Christmas.

(image from Amazon.com)

Oh my gosh, Chameleon pens are amazing. They are so expensive but when Elizabeth colors with them, the resulting pictures look like illustrations in a book. My parents bought her a 22-pen set to start with, and then she puts smaller sets on her wish list when she notices there are colors she could use more of. We got her skin tones and floral tones for her birthday.

(image from Amazon.com)

Kinect Sports and Kinect Sports 2. Edward is an Indoors Type, so I will buy him almost anything that makes him willingly move around.

(image from Amazon.com)

Kawaii Alpaca coloring book. There was a bit of a kawaii/alpaca/art theme to this birthday.

(image from Amazon.com)

Alpaca page-markers, to go with the coloring book, not that they really go with the coloring book but they didn’t seem like enough to wrap on their own.

(image from Amazon.com)

Zelda: A Link Between Worlds. We bought a Nintendo 3DS for Rob a long time ago, and now Edward has it as a handmedown.