Election Day Distraction Chatting: Gift Ideas, Assorted Jumble

I was thinking about how my favorite gift guides are the ones where it’s just one big mixed jumble of ideas (as opposed to sorted by type of recipient), and I wondered if it would be useful and also fun if we talked about some of the good gift ideas we’ve had for this year, to make one big general gift-ideas list for others to pick through: it seemed like it would be a really good comments section. I can’t participate as fully in this one, because my parents and sibling and sibling-in-law read my blog. But I can tell you that I got Paul two three-layer rimming trays (the five-layer one was more than twice as expensive, so I just got two three-layers) and a bunch of rimming salts/sugars:

(image from Target.com)

(image from Amazon.com)

Lemon drop, Citrus Jalapeno, Citrus & Petals, Cranberry, Sweet Heat, Lime Margarita.

 

I got Elizabeth this clothes-folding board on a total whim: I saw a video on Twitter of some guy adorably enjoying using one, and I went to see how much they were, and this one was on a Lightning Deal for $11.99, and Elizabeth had recently spent quite a bit of time making a Very Tidy shirt pile on her closet shelves, and I just impulsively bought it. I would maybe have gotten one for William, too, but I could only get one on that deal; if I see them on sale again, I’ll reconsider.

(image from Amazon.com)

 

I would recommend N.K. Jemisin’s Broken Earth trilogy as a gift idea for someone who likes Not By A Male Author science fiction. FIVE of you recommended it to me, and you were right! I have only read the first book so far, and I have ordered the next two books, and while waiting for them to arrive I am re-reading the first book because I don’t really feel like reading anything else. I will tell you up front that there is Child Death—but you know I have a very low tolerance for that, and I could bear it, and in fact am re-reading it right away.

(image from Target.com)

Election Day Distraction Chatting: Gift Ideas for College-Aged Kids

The WORST TWO people on my list this year are Rob (age 21) and William (age 19). They don’t WANT anything. The things they do kind of want are BORING, even to them: clothes (but nothing in particular), gift cards.

I bought William this teal corduroy Gap jacket when it was on sale for about $50, and I do think he’ll like it:

(image from Gap.com)

 

I bought Rob this t-shirt (the Meow Meow Meow version) after he mentioned liking Edward’s:

(image from Topatoco.com)

 

Annnnnnd that’s pretty much it so far.

Rob mentioned wanting more Soylent powder, but I got him some of that last year, and also I find it vaguely annoying for reasons I can’t quite put a finger on, but definitely it has something to do with Rob’s former college roommate who made a big deal about how this was the ideal food, and also claimed it was a cheap way to eat when IT THE HELL IS NOT.

William mentioned wanting gift cards to Netflix, Patreon, Spotify; Gap brands, Adidas, and Levi’s; and maybe a skincare brand (he suggested Cerave or Paula’s Choice “or whatever”). My friend Surely mentioned subscriptions to Dollar Shave Club, and he said that sounded good too.

Both boys want new socks, but I’ll put those in their stockings.

 

Here are some ideas I’ve had:

• Rob makes pizza A LOT. He makes his own crust. When he goes back to college and/or moves into his own place, he is not taking our pizza stuff with him. I could get him his own pizza pan, his own pizza cutter, his own oven mitts, his own mixing bowl. It wouldn’t be EXCITING, but it would be useful in the future—and maybe kind of a HOPEFUL gift, because of that: he won’t have to live at home with us FOREVER, someday he will be FREE.

• Rob’s phone broke, and he hasn’t wanted to replace it. The main thing he seems to miss about his phone is the timers/alarms, which he used for waking up, reminding him of his classes, etc. When the kids were little, I had a watch that let me set alarms: I had them set to remind me of the bus stop twice a day. I wonder if they still make watches like that, now that everyone has phones? If you’ve seen a watch like that, let me know.

• The five kids have been playing games together one evening a week—some online/video games, some board games. I was thinking maybe I could add a new game. If you know of any games that are good for five players, especially teenagers / college kids, let me know. So far they play Jackbox Games, Dixit, various card games.

• I think William would use a bathrobe if he had one. It’s not a thrilling present, but I think he’d find it satisfying to own.

• William loves Taco Bell Fire Sauce, which is sold in bottles but not in any stores near us, so he orders it online. I was thinking it might be fun to see if I could buy the little individual packets like they have at Taco Bell.

 

So in the comments, obviously I am hoping we can pool our ideas for this difficult age.

Election Day Distraction Chatting: Thanksgiving Thoughts, Plans, and Recipes

We always went to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving, until they started coming to ours. This year our households can’t quarantine enough to mix safely (Edward still has to go to his Remicade appointments, which are not just at a hospital but in a BIG CITY with a much higher infection rate than our small town; Henry still goes to orthodontist appointments; Paul has to go in to his office about once a week), so we’re on our own.

I have considered the idea of…skipping it. It’s three days of cooking for 20 minutes of eating, and I am not entirely sure I know what it celebrates or whether we should be celebrating it. At this point I think of it as a celebration of Thanksgiving Foods: the cranberry-raspberry Jell-o salad, the chocolate-crusted pumpkin cheesecake. I do enjoy being in the kitchen, making the familiar recipes, imagining so many other people in THEIR kitchens making THEIR familiar recipes. And I enjoy the leftovers. But it is a lot of work for one meal. Well, several meals, considering the leftovers.

Or, our local grocery store has a Thanksgiving package: a meal for 4-6 people, with a couple choices (turkey or ham, pumpkin or apple pie), but basically a box of pre-cooked food you pick up and heat up. I have been curious about that (can it possibly be any good?), and this might be a fun year to try it. I floated this idea to family members, who raised issues: we’d still want to make the Jell-o salad and the pumpkin cheesecake, and also we’d need to make our own vegetarian stuffing, and some of us prefer turkey and some prefer ham so we’d want to make the one that wasn’t included in the box—and at that point we’re basically cooking the meal anyway, so what is the point of the box? Except it still might be fun to try.

Another issue is that with more of us home, more of us can HELP COOK. I made this point rather pointedly when people were expressing doubts about doing the grocery pick-up box, and seemed to be thinking it didn’t save THEM any cooking so why would they prefer that?

Well. What are your Thanksgiving plans? Do you feel like talking about recipes, either ones you always make or new ones you’re going to try this year? Have you ever tried buying Thanksgiving dinner from a place where you can just pick it up in a box, and how did that turn out?

Election Day Distraction Chatting: Emotionally Satisfying Foods

I woke up cheerful for the first time in days. I am the same about stressful travel and medical things: I can be weighed down with stress until The Morning Of, when I wake up like HERE IT IS LFG. One way or another, we are out of Weighty Anticipation Mode and into Keyed Up Go Time Mode. A local friend who is voting in person this morning posted on Facebook that there were hundreds of people in line, wrapping around the building; this in a town where I have NEVER experienced a line OUTSIDE the building. Sometimes there are a half dozen people ahead of me at the check-in table when it’s a presidential year, but that’s all.

ANYWAY. Commenter Samantha suggested today would be a good day for chatty distracting topics of the sort where people might like to keep coming back to check in, and I think that is a GREAT idea. I am MOST interested in discussing gift ideas, so I’m going to do some of those posts separated loosely into type of recipient, and then I’m also interested in Thanksgiving thoughts, so anyway let’s get going. (LFG!)

Also, even if you’re not normally interested in baby names, we’ve been doing an alphabet series on the name blog that could be distracting: we’re going backwards through the alphabet, one letter per post, and you play the game that you MUST choose a girl name and a boy name starting with that letter. We’ve done P-Z so far, and I’m planning to post on the letter O later today.

Today seems like a day to eat for Emotional Wellness, and so that is what I am doing. I had scrambled eggs and half a bagel and some Raisin Bran Crunch for breakfast, with a big mug of this lemon-ginger probiotic tea that may or may not work but makes me FEEL like I’m doing something nice for my digestive system, and also it tastes nice (the lavender chamomile is nice too: I don’t think it’s as yummy, but it’s more emotionally soothing because of knowing that lavender and chamomile are supposed to be soothing).

Since starting keto a few years ago and getting used to “a day off”/”a treat day” and what that looks like, I am gradually realizing that what I THINK I want to eat on my days off (CANDY, COOKIES, ICE CREAM, CAKE) is not what I ACTUALLY want to eat on my days off. I don’t know if I can ever get my brain to understand that Raisin Bran Crunch is more satisfying and delicious than a chocolate bar, and why should it? That’s patently ridiculous. It CAN’T BE that a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of potato soup are more transcendent than a box of See’s. Well, yet here we seem to be. (I do ALSO want to eat some chocolate/cookies/cake/etc. But I always want less of it than I thought I was going to want to eat.)

So here is our first topic: What foods do you find most Emotionally Satisfying? And/or which of them are you going to eat TODAY? And/or do you have a thing like I have, where you THINK you want certain foods but ACTUALLY you prefer other foods? And/or what is your favorite cereal? (Mine is Raisin Bran Crunch. SO UNEXPECTEDLY TASTY for bran and raisins.)

Preparing for Tomorrow

I picked up Edward’s new prescriptions. I dropped off a bunch of stuff at Goodwill. (Are the drop-off lines still surprisingly long in your area? We waited about 20 minutes, with something like eight cars ahead of us. Before All This, there would be mayyyyybe one car ahead of me when I dropped stuff off.) I went to the liquor store. I went to the grocery store and got enough extra for us to coast for awhile if necessary. I have acquired enough of the essential Thanksgiving ingredients (stuffing mix, cranberry sauce, pumpkin, a frozen turkey breast, potatoes) that I could put together a decent Thanksgiving without going to the store again, if I had to. Tomorrow is the U.S. presidential election, and yesterday a parade of cars covered in Tr*mp flags and signs drove honking and yelling through our town, and apparently a lot of other towns/cities experienced the same thing. It didn’t come across as campaigning; it came across as threatening.

Our furnace is old and acting wonky, so we had to have someone in the house again. (So far during the pandemic we have had to have the water heater replaced and a faucet/pipe replaced.) Paul had to ask the worker to wear a mask (previous visitors have put on masks when they saw Paul at the door wearing one, but this guy didn’t take that cue), which is so frustrating at this point, when it feels as if EVERYONE should be wearing masks just automatically.

I’ve had to go TWICE into Target in the last week, both times for prescriptions. I wish they would include prescriptions in their Drive-Up service, but so far they don’t, or at least our Target doesn’t. The first time, I felt VERY ANTSY about it: I hadn’t been inside a Target since before lockdown. I had to talk myself through it a little: it’s no different than the grocery store, I will be in and out in less than ten minutes, etc. While I was there, I checked for my usual cleaning sprays and for Clorox wipes, but there were none, so that was a little disappointing: I’d been thinking that if I had to go inside ANYway, at least I could get the things they don’t offer for Drive-Up or shipping. But no.

A week later, I had to go in again, for another prescription—this is a little frustrating because these are both long-term medications for Edward, and now they will always be refilling a few days off from each other. I will have to remember to go pick them up after getting the refill call about the SECOND medication. Anyway, so then I was going into Target AGAIN, but at least that time they did have small containers of Clorox wipes, limit 1 per customer. The pharmacy clerk remarked on my find and asked if there were any left, saying she was going to zip over and get a canister on her break.

I don’t know if it’s interesting to discuss the prescriptions. Edward has been on Remicade for his Crohn’s disease, getting infusions every 7 weeks. (Did you already know that “an infusion” means getting the medication by IV? I did not know that until Edward started on Remicade. It takes a few hours.) His most recent MRI and colonoscopy/endoscopy, combined with the bloodwork he gets done at each infusion, and also his failure to gain weight, all together indicated that the Remicade was not doing enough to suppress inflammation. He’s already on the highest dose of Remicade per infusion, but there was still room to increase the frequency of the infusions, so they did that: he’ll go every 5 weeks now. They also added a support medication: methotrexate, which is a pill (or rather, four pills) he’ll take once a week. And then when the hospital pharmacist called to discuss the methotrexate, she said he should also be taking prescription-strength folic acid, because the methotrexate “chews it up,” so that was the prescription I had to go back for.

So. Tomorrow is the election. Tomorrow we will not know the answer we’re waiting for, but we will know more than we know today.

Rethinking Election Day Plans

I have been rethinking my Election Day plans. For one thing, after burning up with energy yesterday morning, I spent the rest of the day glazed and unmotivated. Then I lay awake for three hours before finally falling asleep, and today I am feeling as if I don’t want to commit to cleaning toilets next Tuesday.

Here is what I am considering: Is Election Night one of those situations where I would rather have a sleeping pill than alcohol? I think it might be. I think that might be a sweet relief, to know that at a certain time I will take a pill and then I will GO TO SLEEP. Maybe I want to save the alcohol for when we find out the results, which could be awhile. Plus, when listing alternatives to alcohol, I kind of talked myself into the idea of reading/watching something riveting while eating lots of snacks. I bought actually and literally over 20 pounds of Halloween candy, so we should still have some of that left I guess, and I have most of a bag of mixed snack-size bags of assorted chips, and one of my favorite snacking practices is to sit next to a large bowl of mixed snacks and pick each next snack based on the whim of the moment. (I put any snack I don’t want to finish in a separate little bowl nearby, and it magically disappears somehow, and then I can move guiltlessly on to the next whim.)

AND. And. I have watched the first five episodes of Schitt’s Creek with some of the children, and I think I can talk them into binge-watching that with me, taking breaks between each episode to check in on election progress. It’s a re-watch for me up through the first few seasons (four? I don’t want to check, because I don’t want to get spoilers, but I’ve seen both versions of Simply the Best) (or I guess I should say “two versions of Simply the Best,” since there could be more), but I haven’t seen it all the way to the end; and this is a first watching for the kids. Originally I didn’t want to watch it with them because of all the embarrassing parts, but I changed my mind. We are on Season One, so I say a lot of “Yes, I am afraid this is going to continue, but let’s just power through it” and “I’m sorry, this is about to get much worse, but then we will have seen it and it will be over.” …Maybe I don’t want to associate Schitt’s Creek with the election, though. It is so hard to know. Perhaps a riveting book instead, and keeping Schitt’s Creek as something to look forward to.

But in case you were thinking of joining me for tipsy housecleaning, it seemed important to let you know I am currently leaning more toward media + snacks + sleeping pill.

Plans for the Week Before the U.S. Presidential Election

After my first pregnancy, there were certain things I did in each subsequent pregnancy. For example, shortly after getting a positive pregnancy test, I would give the toilets and the floor around the toilets a thorough, thorough cleaning. It wasn’t pessimism: I wasn’t saying I WOULD FOR SURE soon be barfing at a whiff of Paul’s towel or a taste of raisin. I was just saying that the LAST time taught me that if I WERE to be throwing up for the next couple of months, it was nice to start with a shining clean toilet lingeringly scented with bleach, rather than the alternative; and it was nice not to have to have the toilet-cleaning chore on my list when I was exhausted and queasy. And if this pregnancy were different, if I never threw up, if I floated through without wishing an anvil would fall on my head to stop the constant, constant nausea? Well, then, no one ever thought, “Boy, I wish the toilet were grubbier.”

It is less than a week until the U.S. presidential election, and I remember last time. So there are certain things I’m doing this time. After a week of flopping despondency (I’d thought I’d get ahead on Christmas shopping, but it turned out no), I’m feeling a surge of restless energy, so I’m using some of it to get caught up on and/or ahead on cleaning. Maybe in a week or two I’ll have plenty of mood available for merrily cleaning the shower, humming an optimistic little tune. But if not. If not, then I won’t mind that the shower has already been cleaned and I don’t have to do it for awhile. And if it’s the humming-merrily version of reality, I’m not going to think, “Darn it, I wish I hadn’t cleaned the shower! I want to do it NOW!”

I am going to go grocery shopping and I’m going to get two cartloads. Not just to stock up in case of the armed and violent protests threatened by our current president’s supporters if he is not re-elected, but also because in the reality where things go a different way and I don’t have to worry about armed and violent protests, I am not going to feel like weeping my way through the grocery store, holding my breath as I change my damp mask every few aisles.

Last time, the day after the election (this year we likely won’t know so soon), Paul and I ate nothing all day. We didn’t talk, except the talking we had to do with the kids, and to make sure we didn’t duplicate the donations we were making to various organizations. At bedtime we each drank two shots of vodka and went to bed, hoping we’d be able to sleep. After the grocery store, I will stop at the liquor store.

I plan to spend Election Night sipping and cleaning. People in my house are going to have the TV on, and I have to live through those hours either way, so I am going to use my naturally-generated adrenaline, and I am going to use the anesthetic available to me for home use, and I am going to clean. Or maybe I will not: maybe I will use the anesthetic available to me and then sit numbly in a chair. It’s hard to predict feelings. But the plan is to tipsy-houseclean. When company is coming and we clean the whole house and then the company cancels, we don’t say, “Well for heaven’s sake, I sure wish I hadn’t done all that CLEANING, then!” It’s nice to have been able to use the motivation, even if the motivation turned out to be false. I’m going to change the sheets: it’s nice to have clean sheets, whether or not you might soon be spending a week in bed.

I know there’s a lot of alcohol in this post, and that’s not an available option for everyone, so let’s talk about a few alternatives. In times when I have considered alcohol not among my options and/or not worth it, I have self-anesthesized by alternating a few bites of savory with a few bites of sweet: See’s chocolates, then Pringles, then Little Debbie cakes, then cheddar-cracker Combos, then Cadbury bar, then kettle corn, and so on. Eat slowly, and just a little of each thing, or else you’ll get too full too fast, and it mostly works WHILE you’re eating, so you want to draw out that effect as long as possible. If you are not as much into snacking, I find a Big Sustaining Meal Including Carbohydrates serves well: spaghetti and garlic bread, or chili and cornbread, or chicken and sauce over rice, that kind of thing; and follow it with chocolate chip cookies, or cake, and a glass of milk. (There is some risk of associating this meal with election night, which is why it’s not one of the things I’m leaning on.) Another thing that works pretty well for me is reading very exciting books—horror or thrillers. I relied on those to get through a very bad break-up long ago; they were the only thing that could distract me. Another thing I’d recommend is re-watching a favorite comforting or riveting TV series, and only allowing a five minutes news check-in for each episode watched. I would think you could mix-and-match either food option with either book/TV option, for a moderately successful combination. (And with any of those no-alcohol food/book/TV combinations, I would end the evening with a sleeping pill, which is one of the advantages of not drinking. If I decide against tipsy housecleaning, I will go for snacks-and-horror-novel-and-sleeping-pill.) I have a prescription for actual tranquilizers, but I have found that while those are good for reducing adrenaline and racing/relentless thoughts, they leave me feeling sad and listless, which is sometimes better than the alternative but in this situation I think not. If it is available to you, I have heard good things about pot, though you should consult with someone who knows the differences among the types: we want a sense of universal perspective and detachment on election night, not potential paranoia. (Also, the children tell me no one calls it “pot” anymore, and that I sound like a mom. I mean, yes?) And I have heard good things about meditation and yoga, but I trust you know you can look elsewhere if you want those kinds of ideas suggested to you.

Natural Consequences

I have been waiting for something FAIR to happen. I don’t believe in the popular versions of karma, or The Universe, or deities—the versions in which those entities lie in wait to zing someone who has been behaving badly. But that is the KIND of thing I have been waiting for. I have been waiting for MOVIE/TV/BOOK JUSTICE, where things look bleak but then it turns out the very bleakness is what whips around to destroy the forces of badness.

If this were an episode of The West Wing, and the Republicans had tried to push through a Supreme Court Justice less than a month before an election, after THEMSELVES saying ONLY ONE PRESIDENCY AGO that NINE months before an election was too close; and if they had tried to do this while NOT dealing with legislation to approve relief for their constituents during a pandemic; and if they had themselves not worn masks and had gathered in person during all of this, spreading infection among themselves while trying to do their unfair, unjust, corrupt thing; then what would have happened in that episode is that too many of them would have become ill with the virus to be able to approve the Supreme Court Justice in time. That’s what would have happened. Things would have looked SO bleak, so BLATANTLY unfair and unjust—but then: NATURAL CONSEQUENCES would have stepped in! You can’t break ALL the rules and expect to WIN, you bad, bad politicians! SATISFYING SMITE!!

Part of my problem is TV/movies/books, which lead us to expect these plotlines. But certainly another part of my problem is that I was raised Christian. The type of Christianity I grew up in believes that although God won’t intervene if, say, children are being raped and beaten, even if those children pray to God for help, because that would mean breaking God’s own voluntarily-established-and-voluntarily-held rule about free will for the person doing the raping and beating, he WILL allow Natural Consequences to punish people—and the universe is set up so that Natural Consequences DO punish people. In fact, that is why he in his wisdom has made the rules he has made: not because he’s a meanie who won’t let us do what we want, but to PROTECT us. Because the things he has told us not to do are all things that will hurt us, and he lovingly and mercifully wants to spare us the consequences of those things. And so here is what I expect: when people break rules and do terrible and unjust things, the Natural Consequences should show them why those rules are there, and the people should suffer the way God tried to protect them from suffering.

But here is what I realized this morning. Right now, the terrible things that are happening are things that many, many Christians believe are instead showing us all that God has a hand in everything. They think that the appointing of Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court shows that God did indeed want our current corrupt president elected: that God can use EVEN AN ACTIVELY EVIL PERSON to do his ultimate will, which is to bring about their version of conservative evangelical Christianity everywhere. For everyone’s good.

The fact that I can see from their point of view how things appear to be working out for the absolute most righteous BEST right now means that I have to deal with the idea that what I grew up thinking of as the natural order of things is in fact a system that supports what I now consider Active, Deliberate Evil.

Originally I continued that paragraph, but now I want to leave it on its own for a minute to make sure you pause to see what I’m saying. When you grow up fervently believing in a set of religious beliefs, you grow up with that religion braided into the entire structure of the world: there isn’t a single aspect of anything that isn’t infused with the beliefs and world view of that religion. Extricating that religion from my brain and thoughts and world view has been hard and traumatic, and this is yet another aftershock of it decades later: realizing that what I used to be able to lean into as a system of justice and righteousness is instead a system that in fact works IN FAVOR OF a corrupt United States president, a corrupt segment of Congress, and the establishment of an unjust justice system. When they are unjust, when they are unfair, when they work against the equality of human beings—then THEY get the “fair thing,” the TV/movie/book triumph thing, happening in THEIR favor. They work so hard, they give up so much, they compromise so much of themselves and so many of their principles to bring about something corrupt—and THEY get what THEY want. THIS is the system that, if there were a God, he is supporting with his system of natural consequences.

I had already, back in childhood, worked on understanding that God was not going to intervene to prevent evil things from happening; then in early adulthood I worked on extricating the braided-into-my-psyche idea that God’s Natural Consequences were going to punish people for doing evil, and that there was an afterlife that was going to take care of any justice we didn’t see happening on Earth; now I have to work on the idea that what I USED to see as God’s Natural Consequences For Good are actually things that support and bring about evil—and so what I USED to pray for and celebrate were things that were evil and wrong. This is the fresh, nauseating realization I am dealing with this morning, one week before the U.S. presidential election.

This Is Going Well

We are now getting approximately one email per day (at the beginning it was more like one per week) telling us of new cases of Covid-19 in our school system, and also explaining to us that they will do a deep clean (as if that fixes anything) but not close the building. They have also explained to us that someone is a “close contact” of an infected person ONLY if they were within 6 feet of them for more than 10 minutes, which means that by their definition, the teacher and other kids in the infected person’s classroom don’t count as close contacts and don’t have to be informed and don’t have to quarantine. Surely this is unrelated to the way the cases are happening faster and faster now.

And the library where I worked, which had been doing only curbside pick-up, opened to the public by appointment only, and now they have had to close completely (including closing curbside) because a staff member got a positive Covid-19 test.

And several of the U.S. vice president’s close aides have been diagnosed with Covid-19, but he is going to keep working anyway, because he is an “essential worker.” CAMPAIGNING IS NOT ESSENTIAL WORK. And also EVEN ESSENTIAL WORKERS SHOULD NOT WORK AFTER BEING EXPOSED. (Though I think the more likely theory is that the VP was positive back when the president had it, and that he then gave it to his aides.)

So in short, I’m feeling pretty happy with my decision to buy the This Is Going Well mug.