This is the stage of Christmas preparation where I feel as if I have TONS of time, but also uh oh I need a gift for a party next week, and we are drawing names for our workplace Secret Santa on Friday, and I need to prepare a gift for the nurses before Edward’s next medical appointment, and so on. Happy fluster, but.

Yesterday I got agitated about the kids’ gifts. I feel as if I have very few ideas for them this year, and they are not coming up with many ideas themselves. I thought, what if I concentrate on one kid per day, starting with Rob since his items need to be mailed? A great idea! I will start on that right after work! And so I came home and wrapped presents and wrote Christmas cards. One does what one can; all chipping-away is good chipping-away; etc.

I am also working on doing extra cleaning—not as an important, required, THIS MUST HAPPEN sort of thing to add to the work/stress of this time; more like, I am seizing the motivation where I can find it, and I find I am motivated by, of all things, the kids coming home. They are not GUESTS! I don’t have to WORRY about cleaning before their visit! But I’m finding I am a little bit worried (they will see the house with fresh eyes after their time away!!), and I am finding that that small amount of adrenaline combines nicely with excitement (if it’s time to clean the house that means they are almost here!!) to give me the energy I need to scrub a shower floor, or bleach/scrub the kitchen sink, or wipe down a microwave. If I can chip away at it starting in early December, rather than leaving it for the week before, it will all……well, a lot of it will need to be done again by Christmas, but IT WILL STILL BE CLEANER THAN IT IS NOW.

Starting today with my mid-week grocery trip, I will have the fun of Buying Things for the Kids Who Are Coming Home. The twins won’t be home for another week and a half, but William is done and home as of this weekend. William drinks a lot of milk and eats a lot of pasta; Henry, the one remaining housechild, does neither of those things, so today I need to replenish the supplies I’d allowed to dwindle. I will also buy pecans, yogurt, extra eggs, and…what else does that child eat. Well, he can put it on the list when he’s here! Which will be soon!

Mostly what I like to read about at this time of year is WHAT ARE OTHER PEOPLE BUYING. I get so many good ideas that way. I finally bought Paul the contour gauge tool I put in my cart after someone else (was it Suzanne? it feels like it might have been Suzanne) posted about it a couple of Christmases ago, maybe longer ago than that:

(image from Amazon.com)

I don’t know what it is or what it does, but it looks cool, and Paul enjoys receiving Unexpected Workshop Stuff to play with.

I’ll just keep going with Paul’s gifts, so we can have a little theme here: Gift Ideas for the Grown Men in Our Lives. Back in October I bought him some lime juice:

(image from Amazon.com)

If I remember correctly my friends were discussing the recipe for a restaurant margarita we all like, and they said one of the secrets was Jamaican lime juice, and anyway I hope this is the right thing (I notice only right this minute that it says juice MIX), but if it’s not it’ll still be fun to try. I will put it in his stocking.

I should have mentioned this sooner, but I didn’t know he was going to like it so much: I got him an Exit game Advent calendar.

(image from Amazon.com)

It’s around $50 right now; I got it somewhere in the high $30s, which was still a fair amount of money but it is pretty great. I am reminded of when Elizabeth, writing her thank-you note to her aunt and uncle, also thanked them for the gift they’d sent Paul: “It kept him quiet for hours!” He is working on it every night with just the right amount of frustration/triumph.

This heated desk pad has been a mixed success, but enough of a success that I now keep it in my cart so I can buy one if there’s a good price drop.

(image from Amazon.com)

I found it after about the tenth time Paul had exclaimed how cold his hands get when he’s working at his computer all day. I searched “heated desk pad” and bought pretty much the first one I found. It broke a month later, and many reviews mentioned similar issues: that it was great when it worked, but that some of them seemed to be defective. I contacted the company, which sent a replacement, and the replacement has worked for almost a year now. But when the price dropped, I bought another one to have on hand if/when this one goes: reviews mention that even if you get one that isn’t defective, it doesn’t last for years and years. I realize I’m not exactly selling this, but when we were waiting for the first replacement, Paul said things like “I NEVER WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT IT AGAIN,” so. (If any of you have experience with a more reliable model, PLEASE TELL US.)

Paul likes to cook with cast iron pans, and he has a little scrubber that looks like a fabric swatch of chainmail. He likes it a lot, but wished aloud that it had a HANDLE. I bought him two handled options to try:

(image from Amazon.com)

(image from Amazon.com)

In case you have a cast-iron devotee in your life, this is Paul’s favorite turner:

(image from Amazon.com)

He had one, and said he wanted a second one so he would always have one available, so I bought him TWO more. I also bought one for his sister, after she posted a cooking photo involving two cast iron pans.

Paul bought himself this window bird feeder, and gave it to me to give to him:

(image from Amazon.com)

If the grown man in your life would like to be twinsies with Paul, this Oscar the Grouch t-shirt was one of the most successful things I bought him last year.

(image from Amazon.com)

I’d thought it might be too dark and hard to see, but it turns out to be Just Right: not too garish, but definitely noticeable. He wears it whenever it’s clean. I have the Cookie Monster shirt in my cart to consider for this year, but I don’t know. Maybe one Sesame Street shirt is perfect and two is too many.

I’m certain I got this next idea from Suzanne: The Happy Isles puzzle from the Magic Puzzle Company:

(image from Amazon.com)

Big hit with Paul and with some of the kids, so I’ve bought The Mystic Maze for this year. Or was it the other way around? Well, I have ONE of those two puzzles in a cupboard ready to give this year, and the OTHER one was a huge hit. I also got this folding round table for Paul’s birthday last year:

(image from Amazon.com)

I would not normally spend that much on a birthday present—but we’d gotten one of these tables from my parents when they moved, and Paul set it up as a puzzle table, and then Henry needed a table for his D&D group and this one was undeniably perfect, so Paul patiently loaded his puzzle-in-progress onto cookie sheets so Henry could have the table. We brought down a different folding table (also from my parents), but it was clearly inferior for puzzling, and Paul seemed discouraged from working on the puzzle. I would have bought the table anyway, but the timing was right for it to be a fun birthday gift. In such situations, I don’t count the cost of the item against the birthday budget.

Do you have someone in your life who quests for the right insulated bottle? I will show you Paul’s favorite:

(image from Amazon.com)

He left it behind in a motel room on one of our college-visit trips, and was CALLING THE MOTEL to see if it could be found, because he was thinking he would DRIVE BACK SEVEN HOURS TO GET IT. I ordered him a new one, because I am level-headed about insulated bottles. I will note that it does not fit in the car’s cupholder, which to me is an absolute deal-breaker but Paul does not care about that at all, because he doesn’t use it while he’s driving: it’s either on his desk/table at home, or it’s on his desk at work, or it’s in his work bag.

Oh! I can tell you what my dad asked Santa for this year, in case these things seem like they’d be good ideas for someone you know. My dad is someone who METICULOUSLY researches everything to find THE BEST ONE (in the Consumer Reports sense of being the best one at a reasonable price)—so if he requests a particular item, you can feel pretty confident that there is good reason for it being THAT PARTICULAR ITEM.

This particular meat thermometer with a probe:

(image from Amazon.com)

This particular flashlight:

(image from Amazon.com)

I am keen to hear what you are buying for the grown men you know.

You know those undereye masks you can buy, the little patches that look like big commas? Do you have some you’ve used and liked, or some you’ve heard of as being cool/trendy? I want to get some for William’s stocking. He thinks he has undereye circles. They’re genetic, I’m sorry to say, but that doesn’t mean I don’t empathize with his motivation to feel as if he’s Doing Something About It, and little luxury items are great for stockings.

Also. And this is tricky, because several members of the group read here. But I am looking for good friend-group Christmas gift ideas. I am in a group of eight women, and we used to do a Yankee Swap for Christmas, but now we each bring seven matched (or BASICALLY matched, like everyone might get a different windchime but they’re all windchimes) gifts to hand out to each other. This means finding something that works for seven fairly different people. Some of us are better at it than others.

I had what I thought was The Greatest Idea of All Time, but it turns out I am not temperamentally or skillsically suited for it. Long ago, not long after we formed our group, we had a local artist paint us matching wine glasses: same overall design for everyone, but then each person’s own name on the base of the glass. More than half of us have broken our glasses by now, and the local artist is no longer local. I thought I could watch some YouTube videos and paint us new ones! I started saving shoe boxes in dreamy anticipation of this idea. I would hand out a box to everyone, and make them open them all at the same time! Everyone would be so surprised/amazed!

Then I watched YouTube videos. Number one and number eight brushes, plus a cone brush. Enamel paints in many colors/formulas. Gloves. Patterns. Brushstrokes away from center. Setting the paint. Etc. It’s not that it looks UNDOABLE, but it definitely does not look as if it overlaps with any of my own personal strengths and/or supplies. And then: surely we would all just start breaking the glasses again. And what if some of us were actually a little RELIEVED to have our glass broken, and now here I am replacing it?? I myself have stopped bringing my unbroken glass to get-togethers, because I don’t want to break it, and I am more than content with my replacement glass, which is a large plastic wine glass one of the group members handed out as an earlier group gift. So perhaps I should leave well enough alone.

But that means it is November 15th and I am just now abandoning the plan I came up with last December. I have wasted 11 months of thinking time. And we generally try to have our party early/mid-December, before the real holiday busyness begins.

I think I should say that I am not in any way trying to COMPETE with the kinds of gifts some of the women in this group come up with. They have had insulated tumblers and candy jars and wine bottles custom-printed, with our names and/or with photos of our group. There have been group t-shirts, group hats. One of them made a group birthstone bracelet. Another ordered us all matching bracelets with secretly coded swear words. So there is no trying to EXCEED the current showstoppers, but I would like to be IN RANGE of the MOOD of the gifts, which ranges from funny to sentimental to club-reinforcing. Last year, after handing out bags of travel wine glasses, canned cocktails, and assorted chocolates, I thought to myself “I think I need to step up my sentiment game a little here. Or else be funnier.”

But, as I say: several members are HERE IN OUR MIDST. So please WHISPER your ideas for good friend-group gifts if you have any, because I plan to take credit for them. And I will trust my friends NOT TO READ THE COMMENTS!

(And if you read this and think, “Well, I have a GREAT friend-group gift idea, but it sounds like my group spends a lot less/more than yours,” please mention it ANYWAY, because these posts are NEVER just for me, and are ALWAYS meant to ALSO be for anyone else who has a similar need for ideas!)

This year we’re “adopting” two kids from our local Christmas-supplementation organization, which is something I did for the first time last year. There are ways in which it was so hectic and stressful (I don’t remember if I talked about it last year, but it was things like the perfect gift I had in mind sold out unexpectedly early, and then I ordered something else and FORGET TO ACTUALLY CLICK THE ORDER BUTTON SO I GOT TO THE DAY I WAS BUNDLING UP THE ITEMS AND REALIZED I WAS SHORT THE MAIN GIFT AND HAD TO RUN TO THE PHYSICAL STORE IN A SMALL SNOWSTORM *PANT PANT*), but overall it ended up being one of my top favorite parts of Christmas. I LOVE thinking about gifts and deciding about gifts, and I also LOVE being The Good Student and diligently checking off every single part of the organization’s instruction sheet. I imagine the people in charge making little notes next to my name about what a good job I did.

And in general, I find it fairly easy to get over the “But I don’t KNOW!!” hurdle in situations like this: everyone involved knows I don’t know; there is no way for me to know; no one else in my position knows either; this is why the organization asks us to send gift receipts. I will do the best I can, and I will buy nice-quality things, and I will trust the Christmas Fairies to guide my choices.

Each child in the program makes a little wish list. I would like to solicit suggestions/opinions from those who know more than I do on some of these wish list gift ideas. Last year we got an older teenager who wanted a hoodie, so I had five resident experts to consult; we also had a younger child who wanted Minecraft and Lego things, and again I had multiple in-house experts. This year I have a 14-year-old boy who wants slippers, a terrarium kit, and fidget toys; and a 10-year-old boy who wants slime, art supplies, and frog-related things.

Feel free to comment anything at all on any of those things. But also I have some more specific questions/concerns:

• Where do cool teenagers shop for their cool clothes? I would like to start there for the slippers. I am finding a lot of stodgy adult options online.

• I am interested in suggestions for good-quality, enduringly-fidgetworthy fidget toys. I would like to spend more money on fewer/better fidget toys, rather than getting a big set of cheaper ones.

• If you saw “slime” on someone’s list, would you assume slime or would you assume slime-making supplies? I guess I am assuming finished slime, but I am not sure: my kids missed the slime trend, so I have NO IDEA where to start. I might assume that someone who likes slime already has the basic slime? It appeals to me to get the Hot New Slime This Season or whatever; it also appeals to get the BEST slime. I just KNOW some of you know what the best slime is. Tell me what the best slime is, and I will buy it.

• The trouble with “frog-related things” is that someone who likes frogs probably already has an assortment of frog things, and duplication would be unhappy. Also, I know from my own children that, for example, a child who likes dinosaurs might have VERY STRONG OPINIONS about the SORT of dinosaurs (in our case: REAL dinosaurs, no cartoony/cute dinosaurs). Well. These are the limitations of this assignment. I wish I could ask follow-up questions, but I cannot. Maybe a frog Squishmallow? Is there a “best” frog squishmallow? A NEW frog Squishmallow the child wouldn’t have yet? What other frog things might a 10-year-old enjoy? A frog t-shirt? A frog throw pillow? A frog book? A frog Christmas tree ornament? A frog towel? Frog stickers? Why does this form not include the child’s favorite color(s)?

(image from Amazon.com)

• Art supplies is similarly difficult. What art supplies does the child already have? Is this a new interest or an old one? Why are these forms so limited? Well. I suppose the best would be things that someone who likes art could always use more of, and/or things that are rather expensive so they are unlikely to already own them. Maybe a really good set of colored pencils and a sketch pad? Or maybe a small basic starter set of the Chameleon pens Elizabeth gradually acquired many sets of? Or the micron pens Elizabeth says every art student has? Is a 10-year-old ready for those? Or should I be thinking construction paper, glitter glue, and stickers? THERE IS NO WAY TO KNOW

(image from Amazon.com)

(image from Amazon.com)

You may wonder why I am starting on this SO EARLY, but (1) the organization collects the items fairly early, so that they can make sure they have everything, and (2) I learned last year that when I find The Right Thing, I should buy it RIGHT AWAY, because the good stuff SELLS OUT.

I know some of us got to know each other back when I was pregnant with Henry, and so I will use a gentle tone as I mention that this post is for Henry’s birthday. Henry will soon be able to drive a car.

More pressingly, Henry will soon need birthday gifts to open. He gave me a pretty good list, but it’s all books. I said, “But…are you okay with a birthday present pile that’s all rectangles?,” and he said he didn’t mind if it was rectangle-heavy but he’d prefer if it wasn’t ALL rectangles. Well then, child, I need more ideas.

He likes Dungeons & Dragons, but he’s liked it for years so he already has as many dice sets as he wants, plus the various guides he wants, plus the dungeon master panel thing to hide his materials from the other players, plus a hoodie, plus a t-shirt, plus a stack of the magazines, plus a rugged-looking leather journal. He likes Terry Pratchett, but that’s mostly books, which he has, and he also has an Unseen University t-shirt. He likes books; we’re already getting him books. He likes t-shirts but, especially combined with handmedowns from siblings who ALSO like t-shirts, he has so many t-shirts. He likes candy, and for an adult I might look at Expensive Special Candy, but he is not at that stage, and Snickers and Kit Kats don’t cost very much, so I’ll get him candy but that’s not enough progress, because this is a long-looking paragraph of ideas but all we have gotten out of it is books and candy.

He is a theater kid; he has theater t-shirts; we have gone to plays. I asked him if he wanted one of those binders for saving playbills, and he was not interested. (I considered getting one anyway and filling it with the playbills of plays we’ve gone to, and giving it to him LATER—but I am having enough trouble shopping for CURRENT gifts he might not want, without working on POSSIBLE FUTURE gifts he might not want.) I have tried to get into the Experience Gifts trend, but the thing that stops me is how EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE that is to do?? With the exception of Rob, who wants NO ITEMS FROM THE MATERIAL REALM and so we give him a ticket to a symphony/play and he is happy and relieved, the Experience Gift thing doesn’t currently work for the way we do gifts or the way we do experiences: they come from different parts of the budget, and with different ways of calculating value. Birthdays FOR THE MOST PART involve items from the material realm.

He doesn’t have feelings about brand-name clothes yet, so I can’t buy him overpriced hoodie/shoes he’s been pining for. I’d thought he might like some dapper clothes/accessories (as a younger child he went through a vests/bowties stage, and then a blazer stage), but I discussed it with him and it sounds like he’d be better off going to Goodwill and looking for some fun inexpensive used dapper stuff.

You may remember that when the twins turned 16 we did a Significant Sixteen Gift: the post I just linked to is only about Elizabeth’s gift, which ended up being a birthstone ring; I can’t find any posts about it but we got Edward a watch in the same approximate price range. I had assumed we’d do something like this with Henry, and he and I had several conversations about what he might like (watch? dragon ring? maybe he’d like to get his ears pierced and get some special earrings?) before realizing the idea just wasn’t a good fit for him. It felt weird to both of us to be like “Okay, so then Edward and Elizabeth got a big bonus gift and you won’t get that”—but different things work for different kids, and Henry ends up going to more plays that don’t count as birthday gifts, so it balances out in the end.

Proofreading this post, my takeaway is that it says “Please give me ideas!! But not this or this or this or this or this or this or this or this or this or this or this.” It does not seem like a request that leaves the listener eager to jump in and help.

Well. What if instead this is just a post about ALL the ideas we’ve had for kids in approximately this age range? We can say things that work for the kids we know, even if those ideas don’t work for Me/Henry Specifically: the ideas might very well work for OTHERS of us who are trying to shop for people of this age.

I have considered this Take Bell t-shirt, except for our So Many T-Shirts problem:

(image from Amazon.com)

It doesn’t really work unless your family has played Untitled Goose Game. Speaking of which, that’s my next suggestion for anyone who likes playing video games:

(image from Nintendo.com)

This is one of the very few video games that is fun for the audience as well as for the players. I have laughed and laughed. The game and shirt make a nice bundle; that’s what we gave my nephew for Christmas last year.

At Elizabeth’s suggestion, we gave Henry a practice butterfly knife for Christmas; she said a lot of boys at her school were practicing tricks with them. I was not 100% keen on the idea of some sort of WEAPON, and she rolled her eyes and said it is not like that. He played with it quite a bit for awhile, gave himself a number of knocks on the knuckles, and did not then move on to threatening others with a real knife.

(image from Amazon.com)

This is going to reveal Edward (two years older than Henry) to be a little bit of a nerd—but when he found this $15-on-sale-for-$10 mechanical pencil assortment set in his Christmas stocking, he said “Why is this a STOCKING gift??,” and later said it was one of his favorite gifts of Christmas. (My dad, also a little bit of a nerd, is the one who suggested the set.) I had put it in his stocking because it fell into the category of “Anything practical a kid asks for in December goes into the Christmas stocking,” and Edward had mentioned in early December that he could use a mechanical pencil, and neither of us were sure what size lead he’d want.

(image from Amazon.com)

This cat tarot deck was another popular gift among kids of this approximate age. This is a recommendation not so much for this particular set (though it was enjoyed), but more for taking anything your particular kid is interested in and putting “_____ tarot deck” into a search box, because there are SO MANY TAROT DECKS.

(image from Amazon.com)

These push-up stands were one of my very few successful material-world gifts for Rob:

(image from Amazon.com)

It was a couple years ago. When it was far, far too late to obtain them in time, he said “Oh!! Shoot!! I just had a gift idea: I’ve been wanting push-up stands.” I happened to have a set I’d bought for myself and had not yet opened or used—so I ordered another set for myself, and wrapped the ones I had. He was VERY SURPRISED to unwrap them.

I have had this cheery toast/toaster nightlight friend in my cart for months and months, because I know it is perfect for SOMEONE but I don’t know who yet:

(image from Amazon.com)

Just as a little holiday yardstick, I have so far received none holiday cards. Just as another little holiday yardstick, I have so far sent none holiday cards. At least one of those things changes TODAY, when I send the Christmas card to my old college roommate who lives in Canada. I know that card needs to be mailed early; I’ve known for TWENTY-FIVE CONSECUTIVE CHRISTMASES that it needs to be mailed early; and yet I pretty frequently forget to mail it early.

I am still enjoying the decision-making process of choosing a gift for the workplace Yankee Swap. One category of things I am considering: Warm Rock for Cold Lizard. This is a category I have personally become well-acquainted with: ever since entering perimenopause, I am ALWAYS THE WRONG TEMPERATURE. All my adult life I have run WARM, but now I am sometimes Much Too Hot and sometimes Much Too Cold, and the cold is new and unpleasant. I didn’t used to own or wear sweaters AT ALL, and now I own and wear a dozen.

Anyway, this is not a problem for me at work, because I am in an active job—and as soon as I am moving around, I switch right over to Much Too Hot. However, numerous of my co-workers are in jobs where they sit at a desk, and we work in a drafty old building with iffy heating, so they nearly freeze to death. This office-chair warming cushion is out of my intended price range, but Paul bought it for me for my birthday and it has CHANGED MY LIFE:

(image from Amazon.com)

I can’t testify to its durability, because it has been sitting in a box since my birthday and I only just set it up and started using it as part of a frazzled pre-Christmas tidying of the living room. I CAN say that there is a bit of an issue with the cord: the seat pad plugs in and, because most office chairs have wheels, I kept running over the cord and getting it around the wheels, which is Not Good. I have run it through the arm of the chair and wedged it down in the upholstery to hold it in place, and that seems to be helping, but we’ll see.

Another option, but within the price range, is a Lava Buns:

(image from Amazon.com)

This is marketed as something you bring with you to sit on in a chilly stadium, but I use it at home: I mostly put it between my back and the back of a chair. It requires microwaving, and we do have a microwave at work, but unfortunately it’s in a remote part of the building; still, someone could bring the pad with them when they went on break, and then come back with it all toasty. And there’s no cord issue.

I am also considering the category of Whimsical Things I Would Love To Have an Excuse To Buy. These are RISKY, because not everyone loves a rainbow glitter lava lamp the way I do.

(image from Amazon.com)

I have one of these and it is so much prettier than in the photo: the glitter sparkles like colored Christmas lights.

Or I’ve been coveting a feather-shaded lamp I keep seeing at HomeGoods. If I bought it for this event…and if everyone else thought it was a funny, funny joke…then maybe I’d get to go home with it!! I would get the one at HomeGoods because it’s prettier than this one (more of a sphere of feathers) and also I imagine the shipping would squash it—but here’s a reference photo of something similar in case you are saying “you’re coveting a WHAT”:

Or there’s a purse shaped like an apple. Again: if everyone else thinks it’s a joke, it could be MINE.

(image from Amazon.com)

Or the Ennui Duck the internet keeps showing me as if it knows my heart:

(image from Amazon.com)

It would be a little risky, but when I saw this mug in my recommended products I laughed and laughed and coughed and laughed, and then ordered MYSELF one, so maybe?

(image from Amazon.com)

I’d pair it with some other things. Maybe a pair of swear socks such as these:

(image from Amazon.com)

or these:

(image from Amazon.com)

and then like chocolate or hot cocoa or freeze-dried Skittles or something, just to balance it out.

My workplace has what I consider the perfect balance of co-worker gift-giving at Valentine’s Day and in December, which is that maybe half of the people do little gifts: that’s enough involvement that I don’t feel silly if I feel like giving other people little gifts (this past Valentine’s Day I taped foil-wrapped Dove hearts to paper classroom valentines), but also I feel free to skip it if for any reason I don’t feel like doing it. And I like my co-workers a lot (they’re one of my top reasons for liking my job) AND I like gift-giving, so I am inclined to participate this December.

However. I am noticing how difficult this is. (I find it the fun/happy kind of difficult, or else I would just skip it.) If I count only the co-workers I regularly work with and interact with, that is FIFTEEN PEOPLE. Keeping in mind that I am the lowest-paid employee and I make less than $10/hour—how much do I want to spend on a gift that needs to be multiplied by 15?

Which leads to my second issue: most of the inexpensive things I can think of that would work for a group of 15 people are things no one really wants. That’s not the deal-breaker: I got several things I didn’t really want from co-workers last year, but what I MOSTLY got was a nice warm happy feeling that they had given me a little holiday giftie (and it was especially fun bringing home a little PILE of little holiday gifties)—so I am going to assume it works the other direction, too. But I WOULD like to maximize the chances that it’s something SOME people MIGHT want.

For example, one of my co-workers last year handed out festively-packaged bars of soap. Well, that is a GREAT idea: inexpensive but you can get a fairly nice bar for $3, and library workers are not well-paid so we’re all more accustomed to the $5 ten-packs; festive (because of the packaging and because of the scent); practical, and if you don’t use bar soap it can easily be re-gifted or given to a shelter/pantry. But…she used that idea, so now I’d feel like I was copying. I could do…festive hand soaps? That might be nice. Practical and even fun, for those of us who like seasonal hand soaps; easy to donate for those who don’t; easy to tie a festive little ribbon around the little neck.

I want to avoid all the Pinteresty-type things I see where someone puts in a TON of time and effort to make a small cheap gift look like it also took a ton of time and effort. Even more, I want to avoid all the Pinteresty-type things I see where someone puts a ton of time and effort into something they THINK will be small and cheap—and yet with all the supplies they have to buy for it, they end up making something that is ALSO expensive (for example, anything in a mason jar). I would rather amp up the whimsy of the small and cheap: big bow on a single packet of expensive cocoa mix, for example. We all know these gifts are going to be small and cheap! Let’s at least spend the money on something someone MIGHT WANT at that price point. If a single serving of hot chocolate mix is $3, that might be some very yummy hot chocolate mix, and something I would not otherwise have tried!

Oh, and I’m not leaping to the idea of book/library-themed items. We DO all love books and libraries, natch. But: (1) we all have a fair amount of book/library-themed things already and (2) it’s just such a quick little non-leap, it makes it feel too generic/workplacey—like “What would my co-workers at a library enjoy? How about something library-themed?” But I wouldn’t RULE OUT something book/library themed, so you should feel free to mention it if you have a book/library idea. It’s easy to imagine doing a 180 on this for the right idea.

You may notice I keep carefully saying festive and holiday and seasonal and December. That’s because another complication is that I’d prefer to avoid Blatant Christmas. I assume my co-workers all understand that the timing of our workplace gift-giving is suspiciously Christmas-centric, but that doesn’t mean we can’t show a little situational awareness. So I am hoping for SNOWFLAKE and WINTER and so forth. If the scented soaps smell like balsam fir, I am not going to say “NO: IT CAN’T SMELL LIKE PINE, BECAUSE PINE TREES AND PINE WREATHS ARE CHRISTIAN CHRISTMAS SYMBOLS”; but I am not going to give out little soaps with decorated pine trees or pine wreaths on the wrappers, if you see the distinction. Little forest creatures in a winter scene that includes pine trees and a starry sky: yes! Little forest creatures in Santa hats around a star-topped pine tree looking up at One Big Star in the sky: no.

Here are the things I am NOT taking into consideration:

1. Some people are allergic to certain foods / chemicals. I know. And if I KNEW about any particular allergy, I would certainly avoid it. But this is an inexpensive co-worker gift, the kind where over a dozen people all receive the same item—and, perhaps this is naive, but I have a secure and shining faith in the ability of each of my co-workers to throw out or give away anything that won’t work for them while still receiving the warm intention of the gift.

2. Some people don’t like scented things. I know. And if I KNEW about any particular aversion/sensitivity/allergy, I would certainly avoid it. But this is an inexpensive co-worker gift, and I feel confident in the ability of my co-workers to throw out or give away anything that won’t work for them, while still receiving the warm intention of the gift.

3. Some people won’t eat homemade foods. I know. But this is an inexpensive co-worker gift, and I feel confident in the ability of my co-workers to throw out or give away anything that won’t work for them, while still receiving the warm intention of the gift.

4. Some people don’t want any more “cheap crap.” You know, I don’t think I have ever done a post on relatively-inexpensive gifts (teacher gifts, party favors, etc.) without receiving several comments making this point, almost always using those exact words: “cheap crap.” It gives me a wince of revulsion each time, to think of people regarding other people’s warmly-intended small offerings in that way. It is not how I regard the appropriately-inexpensive items other people give to me. If you are someone who regards such things as “cheap crap,” perhaps you could think of this as indicating that one of your roles in the universe is to be a conduit for getting these items to someone who WILL appreciate/enjoy them: one person’s cheap crap is another person’s fun/nice little treat, and I am sure the universe would appreciate the help of One Person to help get the apparently-incorrectly-directed item to Another Person.

Okay, so here are some of my ideas so far, for co-worker not-Christmas gifts at around $3 or less:

• The aforementioned hand soap. I could do a Mrs. Meyer’s, maybe the nice pine one or the orange clove one; it’s more like $5, but maybe I’d find it on sale / maybe I could just relax a little.

(image from target.com)

• The aforementioned festive bar soap, even though it feels like copying my co-worker. I don’t think she will care or think about it. I’d be pretty confident of finding a nice selection of these at HomeGoods/Marshalls/TJMaxx for about $3 each.

• Something from See’s Candies. They don’t have all their Christmas stuff up yet, and probably most of the good options will be too Christmassy (foil-wrapped Santas, for example)—but if they had, say, bags of foil-wrapped snowflakes or something, I could buy those plus enough cinnamon or mint lollipops to give one each to everyone, and break them up into little parcels. I’d have to be careful because this is the kind of project that can easily end up going over budget: “Oh, now I need festive little bags to put the things into, plus festive little ribbons…” and so on. Pretty soon it’s a hundred and fifty dollars’ worth of candy/packaging divided into fifteen portions that look like they cost about a dollar each.

• I could make fudge. I make what I believe to be good fudge, and it is the kind where you use a candy thermometer and it takes careful timing and can easily go wrong, so I don’t know many other people who make it. The two most expensive elements would be the baking chocolate and the little festive paper boxes I’d need to buy to put it in.

(image from Amazon.com)

• I could find the theoretical individual packets of expensive hot chocolate I keep mentioning as examples, if they exist. Does anyone already know of such a thing existing? I mean like two or three dollars for a single-serving packet.

• Packets of fancy marshmallows (I remember last year Target had some cute snowflake-shaped ones), or a cocoa topper, or one of the many options for heavily-laden stir-sticks/spoons you put in coffee or cocoa or tea. I have received these sorts of things several times and have always enjoyed them: I’m not going to buy MYSELF a dark-chocolate-and-crushed-peppermint-coated cocoa stick, or a honey-and-lavender-coated tea spoon, but I would love to receive one and try it. (This idea may lead you to think of the idea of cocoa bombs, but my BOSS did cocoa bombs for everyone last year, and I definitely don’t want to duplicate HER idea!)

• A flameless candle, plus batteries for it. I have SO enjoyed mine, and I’ve seen them sold in bigger multipacks at HomeGoods/Marshalls/TJMaxx. Maybe I could find a multipack where all the candles are the same size, for a nice price per candle. This strikes me as a SLIGHTLY weird gift to imagine giving/receiving—but not really any weirder than the small indeterminate knitted thing someone gave us all last year and none of us wanted to ask what it was so we still don’t know. And for someone like me, who already has some flameless candles, it would be fun to add to the existing grouping; while for someone who doesn’t have any, it might be the fun kind of weird where they take it home and try it because what IS this thing??

• I can imagine just going right ahead and leaning into the weird idea: like, going to HomeGoods, seeing nice spatulas, buying everyone a spatula and tying a jaunty ribbon on each one. Or, here’s a gift-wrapped package of snowflake-themed baggies for you! Here’s a neat ruler, I put a bow on it! Here’s a jar of cookie-decorating sprinkles! Why not? Who cares? This isn’t going to make or break anyone’s festive season. Plus, they already know me.

• A festive baggie or festive little box including, say, a seasonal lip balm (I’d get the normal packaging since I’ll just be opening it and throwing it away, except the tree package has four lip balms for $5 and the regular packaging has only three for the same price), plus an assortment of individually-wrapped candies. I like the way this leans into the Token Gift intention—the 3D equivalent of holiday card in the mail. It says: This is a little token of festivity, of the sort I thought Anyone Would Like! I am giving it to you, festively! The festive transaction has now been completed! It is clearly no big deal if you did not get anything for me!

(image from Target.com)

(image from target.com)

• If I were buying for a group where everyone celebrated Christmas, it would be fun to give everyone a Christmas ornament. I can’t think of any way to make this non-Christmassy, but I include it here for anyone who IS looking for small Christmas presents. Individual Christmas ornaments are sometimes surprisingly expensive, so if I couldn’t find anything I liked in the $3-each range (though Target usually has a bunch of cute ones at exactly that price: retro deer! dressed birds! dog in a top hat! a hippo!), I’d look for SETS of ornaments I could divide up.

(image from target.com)

I should have mentioned this earlier, as we are already more than halfway through autumn—but perhaps you’ll channel your “It’s getting dark so early”/”The flowers have all died”/”It’s too soon for Christmas lights but I WANT THEM NOW” energies into putting things on this year’s holiday/birthday wish list so you’ll have them next year. The best time to plant a tree, etc.

This is Swistle’s Fall Lighting Pack, brought to you by an assortment of Swistle’s Dear Friends. (Inspired by their genius, I have since made gift sets of these three items to send to other friends with Seasonal Issues. Fall is my favorite season but it comes with a feeling of sliding into the abyss.)

First, the flameless candles I know I have mentioned before (these were given to me as a housewarming gift by my wine-and-appetizers friends):

(image from Amazon.com)

I feel like the product image makes them look kind of cheesy, when in real life they are just so nice. They are made of real wax, which I think makes a difference. Also, it means that if you drop one, as I did, it may crack, as wax does—so I now have 1-2/3rds sets, because I bought another 3-pack. And I have had them for several years and ONLY THIS YEAR realized that if you use the “timer” function on the little remote, they will turn off automatically AND ALSO TURN BACK ON AGAIN AUTOMATICALLY. So, like, if at 4:30pm I use the 6-hour timer button, they will shut off at 10:30 pm and then come back on the next day at 4:30. What I don’t understand is how this eluded me before, since it happened on its own this year; perhaps I hit an additional button? perhaps in earlier years I shut the candles off manually instead of using the timer? Who can say. Anyway, these range in price: I have seen the 3-pack as low as $13ish and as high as $29ish. (I bought my second/replacement set when they were $13-something and I could no longer resist.)

Second, the leafless lit birch trees, which I just realized I bought for myself. I was about to say a dear friend gave them to me, but it was that a dear friend RECOMMENDED them to me, and I bought them on her recommendation—but I think of them as being From Her:

(image from Amazon.com)

(Again, I feel the product photo does them a disservice. And what is that wall behind them, is that a shower wall?) It took me about a year, I think, to order them after the friend recommended them, even though she was FERVENT in her recommendation: along the lines of “Trust me: you need these in your life.” And still I hesitated! Well, never again. When the Autumnal Lighting season is over, I plan to keep them up but decorate them with teensy Christmas ornaments. These go up and down between about $21 and $35 for the 2-pack. And THEY TOO have a timer function: if you press the little On button twice at, say, 4:30pm, they will come on for 6 hours every day at 4:30pm and go off at 10:30pm. (Or you can hit the On button once and they will stay on until long after you go to bed and forget to turn them off.)

Third, a gift from the same friend who fervently recommended the birch trees, which is probably why in my mind she also gave me the birch trees: maple leaf string lights.

(image from Amazon.com)

Clearly it is just very, very difficult to capture the magic of a lighted item. I have two different strings of these because my friend put the two options in her cart to decide between them but then accidentally placed the order, and it is fate: I have the long string in the living room, where they drape around the curtains and decorate the television, and the shorter string tucked around my desk. I think the lowest I’ve seen them is $7/string for the short ones (and they will range up toward more like $10), and $13-14 for the long ones (ranging up toward $20). There are a bunch of other sellers, too, if you want different lengths or more functions, and let’s just leave that unintentional double entendre where it lies. We are grown-ups here. Snickering grown-ups.

Also. These items ALL take batteries. The maple-leaf lights take two or three AA batteries, depending on what type of string you get. The trees take three AA batteries each. The candles take two AA batteries each. It’s LED lighting so the batteries last quite awhile, but it’s still a lot of batteries. So this year I have added rechargeable batteries back into my life. (It seems like for a long time now practically everything has been rechargeable via USB cable.) I bought this Energizer charger at Target (you can also get it on Amazon):

(image from Target.com)

And I bought four more AA batteries (the charger comes with four) before noticing that the charger-with-four-batteries is only a dollar more than just the four batteries, and more chargers means more charging. So I have another charger-plus-four-batteries in my cart right now, and will likely end up getting TWO more. (This is an old house, and it is clear to me that every time they did a remodel there was someone who said “WE NEED MORE OUTLETS,” because we have more outlets than you might expect in a 200-year-old house.)

Uh oh: with Rob’s graduation and then an unexpected isolation, Henry’s 15th birthday has snuck up on me. I have 10 days. His wish list is almost useless: unavailable D&D books; not-yet-published Randall Munroe book; a strong laser pointer (no); seeing a play in person (good idea but not yet); a cool watch (saving that idea for his 16th birthday); a Swiss Army knife (I don’t know about that); a fleece hoodie (harder to find this time of year; also I am not 100% sure I know what he means by “fleece”).

He likes theater and fiction-writing and cats and Dungeons & Dragons. He likes wearing rings, but he already has two, and I’m not sure how many is the right number and how many is Too Many. He likes reading, especially Terry Pratchett and D&D books, but he has all the Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams and D&D books, plus the fun rustic-looking leather journals and the mini figurines and the Unseen University t-shirt. He likes fun socks, but already has a fair number of fun socks; he likes fun t-shirts, but already has a fair number of fun t-shirts. He likes Strange Planet but we already have the books and he already has a t-shirt. There is a line in a book of Christmas short stories by Jeanette Winterson where Santa mentions that gifts were for when people had very little, but now they have too much, and I think wincingly of that whenever I am trying to shop for Christmas/birthdays.

I might pre-order him the Randall Munroe book, because otherwise he’d have to wait until Christmas, and by then he’d probably have gotten it from the library; and he might be old enough to enjoy the anticipation of a gift coming later. But ONE of his gifts this year was a trip over spring vacation to a museum he wanted to go to, so I’m reluctant to do more “not now” gifts.

And he wants a Steam gift card, which seems reasonable, but not much fun to unwrap. He likes candy! I can get him some candy! But that won’t cost much.

I beg those of you with kids of this type / in this age range: what gift successes have you had recently?