Hi Swistle,

We are expecting a baby boy in January and are going back and forth on a limited set of names, influenced by one name’s meaning in particular. Our last name is similar to K!stler, but switch the s and t, and make it a bit more obviously Dutch in spelling and pronunciation.

This will be our second child – older brother is J@ck (just J@ck, a nod to his paternal line of Johns, including great-grandpa John-called-J@ck), middle name Br0oks which was just a name we both liked as a middle. We likely would have named a girl Marg0t M3rryn, though I was about 10% hesitant on that; it’s still in the mix for a potential third child.

We agreed early on in this pregnancy that this baby felt like an 0liver, and we were just debating middle names for a time. William and Clair were on my list – male family names on my side, which feels fair since J@ck got a family name on my husband’s side. But while watching swimming during the summer Olympics, one of us joked about Rowdy as a name, after Rowdy Gaines. I should note that we are big Olympics fans and named our dog after Bode Miller, the Olympic skier.

Well, the joke settled and soon Rowdy felt like an actual possibility – it really, really grew on us. We like the sound of it with our last name, we like that it’s different, we like the nod to the Olympics. The problem is that Rowdy is also rowdy, the adjective. The most positive definition of rowdy is “boisterous” and the worst is “disorderly” or “disturbing the peace” – ouch! We as a family are not really the disorderly, disturbing the peace type, although boisterous suits. What if our child is not disorderly or boisterous at all and we’ve given him this name? Or, because I do believe in the power of words, what if we define his personality by giving him a defining name?

So, maybe it goes in the middle spot, and for a while we have been leaning towards 0liver first, Rowdy middle, with the possibility of calling him Rowdy as he gets older if the name suits. Ok, that’s settled.

Except: we are smitten enough with the name (the sound, not the meaning) that we’ve been referring to him occasionally as Rowdy – just testing it out, as one does – and we like it. A lot! But I don’t feel like naming a kid one thing and calling him another, from birth, is the right move for me. I felt that way strongly with J@ck – my husband (who is the fourth named son and does not have John anywhere in his own name) lobbied for another John-called-J@ck, and I said well J@ck is enough of a name itself that if we know we’re going to call him J@ck, I’d just prefer to make it his official name. If we really think we’re going to call this baby Rowdy, I feel we should make Rowdy his given name. We’ve discussed this, and have come to like the idea of Rowdy first, Clair middle. The first time my husband suggested that, my gut said wow, that’s a name! Followed quickly by, am I brave enough to do that? It feels like two names that both require explanation.

Swistle, what are your thoughts on adjective names? I guess I’m also asking your thoughts on planned nicknames. Are we brave enough to give our son an adjective name with a meaning we don’t fully identify with? Or do we go with the safe choice, and approach the adjective name as a middle-but-potential-nickname?

Thank you for your insight!
Laura

I think it has happened only three or four times on this site that I have said an unmitigated “No” to a name, and I am saying it to the name Rowdy. I can see why it appeals, but it resoundingly fails the “Would I want this name for myself?” test—to the point where it also fails the “Would I want to encounter this name on someone else?” test. Speaking of tests: have you tried The Starbucks Test, where your husband goes to Starbucks or any coffee/food place where he has to give a name with his order, and tells the clerk that his name is Rowdy, just to see how that feels and what the reaction is? Sometimes even just IMAGINING doing that can be enough to make the issue clear. Another test is to go to a public place and imagine the name on each male person you see. Does it work on the awkward Target clerk? How about on the middle-aged man in a business suit? Is there any real person other than an attractive world-famous athlete on whom the name seems like a blessing?

The word rowdy has negative connotations, as you mention, and it feels too lightweight as a given name. (As an aside: it is refreshing to say this for I think the first time ever on this site about a name being considered for a boy.) It could fit the child’s temperament very well or amusingly poorly, and all of the possible fits will lead to other people making the same tired comments again and again. It feels like a joke, like giving someone the middle name Danger or Trouble; or a caricature, like if you wanted a name to mock the untamable sexy cowboy character in a fake over-the-top romance novel. The “brave vs. safe” framing is unhelpful, and sets up a false choice: you have many more options than those two; and if you decide to go with a name you consider brave, it doesn’t have to be Rowdy.

Rowdy Gaines’s parents’ naming style seems to have been the exact opposite of yours: they named their child a name they never intended to use (Ambrose, after his father Ambrose-called-Buddy) and called him by a nickname instead. This is an entire category of naming practices you specifically want to avoid. And just on top of everything else, you believe in the power of words. This makes for a very poor fit with your naming preferences, and is leaving you feeling stuck.

You mention having used Olympic athlete names for pets, and I think Rowdy would be perfect for that: you’d get to use the name you love, and say it many times a day, and it could be the given name and not have to be a nickname or middle name. (And it’s beautifully parallel to the name of your dog Bode, since Bode Miller is ALSO an athlete going by a name other than his given name. …Er, not that even Swistle pushes for coordination/consistency among pet names.) I also think Rowdy works beautifully as a Fetus Nickname: many parents continue to call their child by the pet name Teddy or Bear or Jellybean or whatever, long after giving them a completely different name on the birth certificate.

I feel as if this is a situation where suggestions of similar names will not work: there is something specific about the name Rowdy that is tugging your heart, and me suggesting Grady and Riley is not going to ease the pain of what I think is the necessary next step, which is Letting Go of the Name. Still, just in case you want the list later, or in case other parents are reading this post, let’s list a few:

Brody
Casey
Chance
Chase
Cody
Emmett
Everett
Finn
Flynn
Gage
Grady
Lee
Leo
Liam
Nolan
Ranger
Reid
Riley
Rory
Ross
Rufus
Ryder
Sam

Some of these I wouldn’t necessarily pair with a name like J@ck—but J@ck and Riley seems really nice to me, or J@ck and Reid, or J@ck and Casey, or J@ck and Lee, or J@ck and Leo.

I think it might also help soothe your heart to consider the names of other athletes you like, though it can be tricky to evaluate names in that context.

On another note, I am hugely interested in the idea of using the middle name Clair for this child. I have complained in that past that our culture finds it very positive/appealing to take names traditionally used for boys and use them for girls (there are so many baby girls right now with the middle name James), but not the other way around. You are an exception to this, and it thrills me to see it. (I will add that when using the middle name Clair/Clare/Claire, I tend to avoid first names that end in an -y/-ie/-ay sound, because of the eclair effect. But I don’t consider it a hard and fast rule, because eclairs are a positive association and the eclair effect can be charming.)

Name update:

Hello Swistle! I wanted to follow up and share with you that 0liver Rowdy was born in January. We appreciated all of your feedback and ideas, and honestly the strong reaction against Rowdy (yours and in the comments!) not only moved it out of consideration for a first name but also made me rethink whether I wanted to use it as a middle. My husband remained in support of it as a middle (turns out he knows a Rowdy?!), but it threw me into a bit of a crisis and he deferred to me. 0liver Clair just felt too stuffy, and I found I just didn’t like any other middle names with 0liver, so we ended up coming up with a completely different first and middle name set for a while. But in the end, we both just kept coming back to 0liver Rowdy. I was prepared for a negative reaction to the name but it’s actually been overwhelmingly positive. Most people who ask assume that it’s a family name, and I have to admit that I kind of love that now it will be. I was surprised by how many people know of a Rowdy in one way or another – famous people, real or fictional, or even a few on a personal level. Some friends have taken to calling him Rowdy after all, which is fine with us; he will tell us if he likes that or not as he gets older. We mostly call him 0liver, or 0llie as a nickname of endearment. Sometimes Pouty Rowdy when that cute baby pout comes out. We’ve decided to define rowdy for ourselves as “spirited” and “boisterous” which feels positive and suitable. So far he’s a sweet, happy, chatty, and loud(!) little guy. Thank you for talking me out of it as a first name, but I am also very glad we stuck with it as a middle!

Hi Swistle,

Long time reader here! We are expecting our second (and likely final) child in April. Our son will be 2 when this little girl arrives, and we are very excited. Our last name sounds just like Such-inz, but the first letter is H.

We were all over the place with names for our 1.5 year old son and didn’t end up deciding until day 2 of our (very strange, early Covid days) hospital stay. His first name is R0bert after my husband, and his middle name is a family name, H@ll. In order to keep things less confusing in our household and because we liked doing something a little different, he goes by his middle name. We live in the South, so this is somewhat common. Even so, I somewhat regret not giving him the first name H@ll because we have to clarify/correct/explain at every appointment, and it just feels a bit convoluted. I liked the flow of R0bert H@ll Such-inz more than H@ll R0bert Such-inz, but I don’t know if that was a strong enough reason.

ANYWAY, moving forward, we now have a little girl to name! One of our favorite names is Nell, and my grandmother’s name was Eleanor. It seems like a miss to give a nickname-y name that could correspond with a lovely honor name (we also like the sound of Eleanor) and NOT use the full name, so we are thinking Eleanor, nn Nell, unless we are then approaching a similar, more-complicated-than-it-needs-to-be situation again like with our son.

We also love Clare. It was my given middle name, and I love that it’s simple and feels bright. My spelling didn’t have an “i” in it, and that’s the way I prefer the name, but again…is that an annoying thing for her to have to swim counter-current on forever? It’s also so much more common than H@ll, but perhaps the shortness of both and the fact that at least H@ll is a common word doesn’t make it feel too problematic to me.

Another top family name contender is Grace. Similar to Clare, I like its simplicity and well, grace.

Other names we like are Emma and Eliza.

What do you think? Any suggestions we’re missing? I think we can figure out a middle name fairly easily once we land the first.

THANK YOU!

Heather

I think the baby’s name is Eleanor (Nell) Clare Suchinz, Eleanor after your grandmother and Clare after you. (I SO WISH I had considered giving my daughter one of my names.) H@ll and Nell are similar, but because one is a middle name and the other is a nickname, that doesn’t bother me; and if it turns out to be an issue, Nell can go by Eleanor or Nora or Ellie or Lennie instead. And Eleanor/Nell doesn’t seem anywhere near as complicated a situation as R0bert/H@ll: Nell is an established nickname for Eleanor. And I don’t think she’s going to be much bothered by needing to spell her middle name occasionally. So I think this is a clear winner: a beautiful name packed with family significance.

Name update:

Hi Swistle!

Baby girl arrived right on time and we are over the moon. We appreciated all your thoughts and the commenter thoughts but in the end went a slightly different way- Gr@ce Ele@nOr Suchinz. Will save Clare for a potential future baby! :)

All best,

The Suchinzes

Hi!

We’re expecting our second and final child in November. We have a daughter named Alana (different common spelling). She has my last name with my husband’s as her middle. We will be doing the opposite for this baby. My last name is like Trash with an O and my husband’s is like Denmark minus the first letter.

We are not finding out the sex of this baby, but have picked out Calvin for a boy.

My list of needs/wants in a name:
– a recognizable name that is easily spelled, but not too common. We eliminated Luke because it’s so popular.
– does not start with an E (dislike alliteration) and would have a bit of a preference for not an A as well.
– preferably no S sounds as I have a bit of a lisp
– not matchy-matchy with our daughter’s name

And my pipe dream is that it has a tie to a cool character in pop culture/history. My daughter is named after a favourite book protagonist and Calvin is after the comic character.

Our current top 3 contenders are:
-Mia (possibly too popular, is it hard to say with the last name?)
-Natalie (is it tricky to say with Alana?)
-Paige (seems a bit boring to me)

Those are in my order of preference. Mia is a video game character we like and none of the others hits that fun criteria. There’s also someone in our smaller city with the Paige Last name combo which probably bugs me more than it should.

My husband’s preference order is the opposite.

Other names I like but were eliminated for various reasons:
-Saskia
-Jade
-Maya
-Kate
-Zoë
-Cassidy
-Keira

Names my husband suggested (Paige has always been his #1 though):
-Samantha
-Vanessa
-Victoria

Are the possible issues with Mia/Natalie just in my head? Do they go with my daughter’s name? Or should I just let my husband have this one and go with Paige. Any other suggestions that both of us might like?

Thanks!
Heather

Ooo, I don’t know if it helps, but I associate the name Paige with a character in the comic strip Fox Trot. It’s not as cool an association as Calvin, but it’s something.

I find Mia a little difficult to say with the surname, but not deal-breakingly so. I also find that the end of Paige blends into the surname in a way I have to do something about: again, not a deal-breaker.

I am not at all opposed to common/popular names—but I feel a little dissatisfied at the combination of a relatively uncommon name such as Alana (#206 in 2020, according to the Social Security Administration) with a relatively common name such as Mia (Top 10 for the last twelve years in a row). But I DO like the way you have a cool cultural association for both names, and that might outweigh the popularity difference for me.

(I hesitate to mention this, because I can’t tell if this is just because it’s been in the news so the sound pattern caught my ear—but Mia with her dad’s surname brought Myanmar to mind.)

Just to continue rolling over your choices with every possible objection, apparently: the name Paige feels like a very different style from Alana. It’s a little startling to go from the vowely flow of Alana to the tailored preppy 1990s sound of Paige.

I wonder if the trickiness you’re seeing with Alana and Natalie includes the word “and”: that is, if the -an and -na of Alana, AND the an- of and, AND the na- of Natalie is all too much. Try saying them without the “and,” and see if that helps or not: “Alana, Natalie, come to dinner!” But it IS still a lot of A and N and L sounds, even without the “and,” so it might just be too many repeating sounds for your tastes.

I suppose, reading this over, that I am saying that all three of the options are fine—but if I were you, I would look for more options. And, it’s strange to be saying this, because usually I find myself advising people to drop some of their preferences—but in your case, I feel as if you’re not meeting enough of them. All three name options are recognizable and easy to spell, but Mia and Natalie are both very common (Mia is more common than Luke; Natalie was, too, until very recently). You’d like to have a cool pop-culture or historical tie-in, but Natalie and Paige don’t have that.

I’d like to add back into consideration Vanessa from your husband’s list. Alana and Vanessa sound good together to me, without being matchy; Vanessa is familiar and easy to spell, but almost identical in popularity to Alana (Vanessa was #208 in 2020); there are quite a few Vanessas in culture/history. But I understand if the S-sounds (and/or other issues) rule it out.

Would Veronica work? There’s the Veronica Mars tie-in, which is pretty cool. It’s maybe a little sing-song with Alana, though.

I would really like to salvage Jade from your list, but Jade with your husband’s surname turns into Jay Denmark.

And what I am mostly hoping is that we can make a collective list of names with good pop-culture and historical associations. Video games! Children’s and YA books! TV shows! Comic strips! Movies! Historical things! Beatrice (Divergent series)! Greta (Thunberg)! Jacinda (Ardern)! Maxine (Waters)! I hope you are better at this than I am, since I have already suggested three with S-sounds!

Name update:

Despite me being completely convinced that this baby would be a boy, our second baby girl was born last weekend. I let my husband make the final call since our first daughter’s name was definitely my choice. He ended up deciding he liked Mia best so Mia she is! Here’s hoping it doesn’t end up too popular in her social groups going forward! Thanks for all the ideas for me to throw at him.

Hello there Swistle!

We are the Meyer-with-an-s family, expecting a baby boy around Thanksgiving. Big sister shares a name with the sixth month of the year. Her middle name is the same as mine, which is also my mom’s maiden (and happens to be a girl’s first name).

We have a list of about 5 boy names that we both like, but absolutely can not agree on one. Issues and thoughts on each…

Andrew – I think this would be the winner except that it is one of our siblings’ names and we want to -100% name a child after this sibling, which is very awkward especially since anyone who knows this sibling will assume we named the baby after him and will wonder why
Henry – just sooooo popular
Graham – my favorite, husband doesn’t like but can’t explain why
Adam – we are both kind of “yeah maybe but eh” about this one
Patrick – I think this is husband’s front runner, and I really like it except that he wants to call the baby Pat which I hate. I like Patch as a fun nickname but he thinks it’s too out there.

To help you get a sense of our style, we also like David but think it’s too boring, John but can’t use it for various reasons, and Avery but can’t get over the “it’s a girl name now” aspect. If this baby was a girl she would almost certainly be named Claire or possibly Elizabeth. So you can see that our style runs pretty classic/vanilla.

I think our biggest hurdle is how much we LOVE our daughter’s name. It is so classic, yet unexpected, and kind of “old lady” but fresh feeling. We just can’t find any boys’ name that feel like that. Everything we otherwise like seems too overused and middle aged man boring (David, William, Alan) or too trendy now (Henry).

I think it’s really down to Andrew, Graham, or Patrick, all of which feel classic and familiar but not soooooo heavily used these days, at least in our circles. But there’s the extremely awkward family issue with Andrew, and then that we each prefer a different name of the other two.

We’ve read the entire SSA top 1000 so I don’t know that we are looking for other suggestions, so much as looking for your thoughts on our top choices and help deciding!

Oh, and middle name will probably be H@stings which is my husband’s middle name. I like the symmetry of our first two kids each sharing our middle names.

Thanks in advance!!

E

I love the name Henry, and it was very nearly my youngest’s name. I see it is Top 10 in the U.S. now, according to the Social Security Administration, which is surprising to me because I still don’t know a single real-life Henry. But: my youngest kid is 14, and I don’t know as many people with babies/toddlers these days, so this makes sense. Well. I still love the name, and I like Top 50 names for boys ANYWAY, and in fact my primary concern when selecting a boy name is “But is it too UNCOMMON to use?,” so I would still be Team Henry—EXCEPT, and possibly this is RIDICULOUS but I CANNOT SHAKE IT, I have a “Henry and the Sixth Month of the Year” association, an association that is also a movie, and for me that just kills the combination. The movie is over 30 years old, I never even SAW it, I haven’t read anything about Anaïs Nin since college—but still the combination is permanently stored in my brain as Famous Couple, and so FOR ME it wouldn’t work for a sibling set. But that movie is approximately the age of the parents of babies being born today, so presumably I represent a small subset of the population here—and if I encountered a sibling set with that name, I wouldn’t feel as if it were bizarre of the parents to have chosen it, the way I would if I encountered siblings named, say, Juliet and Romeo. I would be aware of both names as existing in many, many contexts other than that one single one that rings a bell.

I share your feelings about the nickname Pat. I think Patch is cute, and would be worth a try; my prediction is that in today’s naming climate he would end up going by Patrick. But I generally advise against using a name if either of the parents strongly dislikes one of the common nicknames for it. It would be nice to make a compromise something like “We name him YOUR first choice name, but on the condition that we DO NOT use the name Pat”—but there’s just no way to ensure the success of that plan. If the name Pat DID evolve, there’d be no backsies.

I don’t like the way the -m of Adam goes into the M- of your surname. It’s not at a level that has to be a deal-breaker, but it’s something I would want to think about ahead of time. I think the name itself is great: a name my eyes skip past in the baby name books because it feels so familiar, and yet I can hardly think of any Adams I know.

If your husband doesn’t like the name Graham, it seems like that’s an easy one to take off the list. On the other hand, we’ve had many letters where the gist was “This is my favorite name and my husband hates it!,” and then we get a follow-up saying “We used the name my husband hated!,” so I know to leave room. I don’t like the way the -m goes into your surname, and it feels like a bigger issue with Graham than with Adam; it comes very close to making a “grandma” sound. I know you said you’re not really looking for additional suggestions, but I will suggest Grant anyway.

I saved Andrew for last, because I want to find a way to make it work. For my firstborn, I wanted to give him a middle name that was after my favorite grandparent—but that name also happened to be the name of my first serious long-term boyfriend. I did end up using it, and now it doesn’t bother me at all, and feels like a slightly fun story. But…that was a middle name, and many of the people in my life at this point wouldn’t know (1) my child’s middle name OR (2) the name of my first serious long-term boyfriend. Though, also, I don’t know how many of my friends would be able to come up with the name of my sibling or Paul’s sibling, either. So maybe it’s okay? Ug, I don’t know. I guess it kind of depends on how terrible the sibling is. Are we talking about a situation where you would wince hard if you had to describe him, because he has done terrible hurtful things to others? or is he just kind of an uninspiring deadbeat? or is he just not close with whichever of you is his sibling, so it would be odd for his name to be an honor name? Are the people who would be surprised/confused also people who could be told “It’s NOT after the sibling!” and take that on board? Could you find another Andrew (historical figure, author, poet, scientist, artist, whatever) and claim to be honoring THAT Andrew?

I have encountered the same issue you’re encountering with boy names, which is that it is hard to find names that are both classic AND fresh. This is why Henry is so popular: it hits that mark. Other names that feel similar to me:

Calvin
Charles/Charlie
Clark
Dean
Elliot
Everett
Franklin
Frederick
George
Grant
Harvey
Ian
Leo
Louis
Nolan
Reid
Simon
Wesley

I think one issue is that we’re maxing out the current sets of Fresh boy names (Little Gentlemen names such as Henry, Oliver, Theodore; Hip Biblical names such as Elijah, Noah, Ezra), and we need the next batch—but that next batch has not yet hit its stride at a level that identifies it. (I think pretty soon it’s going to be the -bert and -ard and -ance/-ence names, but we shall see.)

Name update:

We got to meet our boy a little early (thankfully, since he was huge!). We loved many of the suggestions from the comments, especially Jack, and going into labor had narrowed it down to Jack Arthur or Patrick H@astings. As soon as he was born we both just felt like he was Patrick, or Patch/Patcher/Patchy as we’ve already been affectionately calling. His nickname will definitely be Patch but I think it will be the informal/family type, not how we introduce him to people. Based on the reaction of all of the hospital staff, it turns out Patrick these days is just about as fresh and unexpected as big sister’s name!

Hi — I am currently pregnant with my 3rd (and final) baby – a boy due in November. Older siblings are named Georgia & James, 2.5 years apart. My husband and I are sold on the name Jack. This is a two-part question & gets interesting….

(1) Do you think James & Jack are too similar for brothers 2.5 years apart? I can’t shake Jack but don’t want to be blinded to future negatives once he is here (see part 2 on potential future negatives).

(2) My sister-in-law is also pregnant. NEWLY pregnant with her 2nd and not due until 3 months after me. At my son’s second birthday party a few weeks ago she announced that she loved the name Jack for a boy for them. They have the same last name as us. I was shocked, I had already told other family members we too loved the name (my husband especially) so we weren’t keeping it a secret but had not officially announced and decided on it. I bravely responded that we too love the name and her response was “you stole the name James from me, and NOW you are stealing Jack??” Might I mention that she waits to find out the gender at birth (we do not) and her first born is a girl. She told me that if her firstborn HAD been a boy his name was definitely Jack. I had no idea since she kept everything a secret! Since she is due after me, I don’t think I should wait to see if she has a boy to use the name. And now I’m secretly hoping it’s another girl for her so no more drama which doesn’t make me feel great. She also told me in front of family members that “Georgia, James, & Jack together are a bit much….” Is she right? Or is using Jack completely fine in this scenario… Trying not to be tainted by my sister-in-law’s reaction & opinion. Having the baby in November and now wondering if I should try and fall in love with a different name to keep the peace. IF so, do you have any names you would suggest? We love Eli & Hudson as well. Last name rhymes with Tickey.

Thanks!

Britt

I do think James and Jack are very similar brother names. And Georgia, James, and Jack is a noticeably alliterative choice, enough to draw comments. But it’s a very, very subjective thing: some people like similar sibling names, and some don’t; some people like sibling sets with matching initials/sounds, and some don’t. The main downside, I THINK, is that people will be more likely to mix up the names James and Jack than if the names were, for example, James and Eli. Which is not a huge downside, unless it would make you clench your teeth each time it happened.

It bothers me a little that one name in the sibling set is a nickname name; I think I’d be more inclined to name the third child John, and then they’d all have nickname options: Georgia/Georgie/Gigi, James/Jim/Jamie and John/Johnny/Jack.

I’m also not keen on the clackiness of Jack with the -ck- of your surname (especially if anyone pet-names Jack into Jacky, and then it’s Jacky [T]ickey), but again, that kind of repeating sound is very subjective, and one person’s not-keen-on-it is another person’s very-keen-on-it-indeed.

If we may speak privately for a moment, it sounds to me as if your sister-in-law is being a little mean, and not subtle either. And if we were actually chatting privately over coffee right now, I’d ask for more details on her other remark, the one about you stealing the name James from her. Does she have a legitimate complaint here? Like, it’s hard to claim dibs on a name as common-over-the-millennia as James—but if I were to look you in the eye very understandingly and ask for the whole story, do you think I would end up sympathetic toward her point of view? Are there perhaps additional things that would be useful for us to know, such as a family reason for her to want to use James/Jack? I wonder, too, if the fathers in this situation could perhaps have a quiet word and sort some of this out.

I do wish it were more common for people to just go ahead and use the names they liked, without worrying about duplication. It used to be MAD COMMON for cousins to have the same first/last names! And furthermore, many of them would be named after their parents/aunts/uncles/grandparents, so there could be an Elizabeth with a grandmother, mother, paternal aunt, and two cousins, all ALSO named Elizabeth! Everyone just basking in the family love/connections/history of it all!

Well. If you decide not to use Jack, let’s see if we can find some more options to consider. Eli is nice. Hudson feels like an odd choice in the sibling set: a sudden style departure from James, but a place name like Georgia.

If you want to stick with the similar-starting-sounds idea, the first name I think of is Jacob. Georgia, James, and Jacob. I like that everyone has a given name with nickname options. I like that Jake is similar to Jack. I don’t love how the -b of Jacob bumps up against the M- of your surname: my mouth has trouble making the transition.

Or Jared. I have the name Jared filed under Great Compromise Names in my mind, because I know of two families where the parents could agree on NOTHING—and then they found the name Jared and both loved it. Georgia, James, and Jared.

I’m undecided about whether to suggest Jasper. It might have the kind of freshness that would tempt you away from the name Jack. On the other hand, it feels like a very different style than James.

Or Jefferson. It has a surname sound like Hudson. It’s not as similar to James as Jack is, and adding another syllable provides even more difference. Georgia, James, and Jefferson.

Or Jonathan. I like that a little more than Jefferson as a brother name for James, but it still has the extra syllables. Georgia, James, and Jonathan.

Joseph is nice. Georgia, James, and Joseph.

Or Joshua? Georgia, James, and Joshua.

Oh, JOEL! I think Joel is such a warm, nice name, and underused but familiar. Georgia, James, and Joel.

Jude is a cool one-syllable name like Jack. I’m not sure about it with James. Georgia, James, and Jude.

If you’d be just as happy to abandon the similar starting sounds, here are some more names I like in the sibling set (I’m looking for classics like James and snappy sounds like Jack):

Benjamin; Georgia, James, and Benjamin. This puts the soft-G/J sound into the middle of the name, and also gives you the lovely nickname Ben.

Charles; Georgia, James, and Charles. I like how the matching S-but-with-a-Z-sound tie the two brother names together, without making them too matchy, and everyone can use nicknames if they wish to.

Clark; Georgia, James, and Clark. Clark is snappy like Jack, but fresher.

Davis; Georgia, James, and Davis.

Declan; Georgia, James, and Declan.

Elliot; Georgia, James, and Elliot.

Ezra; Georgia, James, and Ezra.

Garrett; Georgia, James, and Garrett.

Grant; Georgia, James, and Grant. I like the fun tie-in of using a name with a hard G: two kids would have matching LETTERS and two kids would have matching SOUNDS.

Leo; Georgia, James, and Leo.

Nathan; Georgia, James, and Nathan.

Nolan; Georgia, James, and Nolan.

Paul; Georgia, James, and Paul. Another warm, friendly name like Joel, and a good style fit with James.

Reid; Georgia, James, and Reid.

Name update:

I can’t thank you enough for answering my letter. It was therapeutic for me to write and to receive your answer & read the comments. As I read your response out loud I gasped at your very last suggestion as my husband & I had just started to strongly consider it. So on November 20 we welcomed sweet baby Reid into the world. We both agreed that Georgia, James, & Reid went so well together and he definitely doesn’t look like a Jack! We also kept our choice a secret until his birthday so that was a very fun announcement as I think all family members thought we were going to choose Jack and we received immediate positive feedback on how much everyone loved his name. The middle name is Foster which is an honor name that brought many happy tears. One commenter stated to pick a name we love even more than Jack and we did just that. I’m not sure I would have gotten there without the awkward convo with my sister in law or writing to you. Even my husband is grateful it all happened and we are all sincerely in a great place with each other.

Ohhh and my sister in law did end up having her baby too…. a baby GIRL.