Hello!

I am pregnant with a baby girl – due end of June. I’d say we lean towards classic names. My son will be 3 and his name is Zachary Robert. In hindsight, Zachary took us a long time to find but was perfect once we did. Robert is both of our father’s names. I can barely remember what our other options were, maybe Thomas, Benjamin, Daniel? But before we found out that this baby was a girl, I was thinking about Ian or Theodore (family name).

My husband’s name is Matthew John. Mine is Valery Lynne. Our last name is like Sung but with a Y instead of the S.

Once we knew it was a girl, some of our favorites were Carolyn, Natalie, and Elizabeth. I had hesitations about such long versions; we sign our cards “Matt, Val, Zach and …” And I didn’t want it to sound like a mouthful at the end (plus didnt love nicknames for Carolyn or Nat(alie) and we disagreed on Libby/Lizzy). My husband liked Madison but we call him Matty a lot so Maddie as a nickname ruled it out. He also liked Zoey but I hated feeling locked into Z (we are likely a 2-3 child family at max). We briefly considered Chloe but didn’t love it.

We feel pretty strongly at this point between Quinn and Addison. I have a soft-spot for Quinn because it was the first one that felt ‘right.’ But. I think “Quinn _ung” sounds like it is missing something – a one syllable name with the surname needs a harder consonant ending, maybe? I think “Addison _ung” sounds very nice, and I like the sound of “Zach and Addy/Addie.” But – that soft-spot for Quinn is holding me back.

If you want to hear how much I can overanalyze – I have also been disenchanted by the idea that our kids will be either “A (to) Z” or they are both the 10-point tiles in Scrabble. Everyone tells me I’m crazy for even coming up with those.

As for a middle name, I like to choose something with meaning instead of the middle names that feel like filler, or were chosen because they sound right. My ailing grandmother’s maiden name is a frontrunner – Turini. I like how it sounds with Quinn better than Addison (but would still consider it anyway) , so a back-up would be Lynne (mine) or maybe Mary (a family name).

I’m really wrestling between the two and would love your opinion if you can squeeze us in. Please help!! I’m a planner and like to have it set in my mind before baby comes! Plus our brother-in-law is expecting twins right after us (genders TBD) and I want to share our name to avoid any mix-ups. Thank you!!

Valery

It is difficult to know what direction to take when a parent states a preference for one style of names (in this case, classic names) and then has finalists that don’t fit that preference. I thought it might be interesting to digress for a moment and discuss that here.

Both Quinn and Addison are modern unisex surname names; neither are classic. So one possible path would be to find you some older/traditional/classic names with the sounds of Quinn and Addison (Katherine, for example, or Adeline/Adelaide, or Abigail, or Madeline). Another possible path would be to ignore the stated preference for classic names, and/or to assume you’re using one of the many other possible meanings of the word classic (“not made-up,” for example, or “currently standard and familiar”), and address the question as asked.

It depends in part on sibling names, other names on the contender list, and planned family size. In this case, the sibling name could go with either possible path: Zachary is a modern take on an ancient name, and I think it goes equally well with a sister named Elizabeth or a sister named Addison. Other names on the contender list also support either path: on one hand you have Carolyn and Elizabeth; on the other hand you have Madison; and on the third hand you have Zoe/Zoey (an interesting combination of IS ancient and FEELS perfectly modern). Planned family size is more useful: if there will be two or three children at most, I’m not as worried about you getting stuck. If you choose Addison or Quinn this time, it looks as if there are plenty of other names that would work if there were a second girl later on, and I don’t see any issue with potential brother names, either.

Another important factor is how strongly the preferences are stated. First there is the part about leaning toward classic names (not very strongly stated), and then there is the part about being pretty strongly split between Quinn and Addison (much more strongly stated). So what I’m going to do is toss out that word “classic” and proceed with the question as asked: Quinn or Addison? /digression

I suggest both. Addison Quinn _ung. It gets rid of the issue of Quinn _ung feeling too abrupt to you, and also the issue of the soft spot for Quinn keeping you from using Addison. It gives you a middle name chosen for meaning: “Mom loved it too much not to use it; it was the first name that Felt Right to us when we were naming you.”

Another possibility is Adelynne. It combines Addison and Quinn, and also incorporates your middle name Lynne. It’s similar to Carolyn from your list, but still gives you the nickname Addie. Adelynne Turini _ung.

Gwen would give you some of the sound of Quinn, but without the Q.

Emerson would give you some of the sound of Addison, but without the A, and without the nickname that rhymes with her dad’s nickname. Matt, Val, Zach, and Emmie.

But if at all possible, I encourage you to ignore the A/Z and Scrabble-tile concerns. At absolute worst, those are cute. I also encourage you to see if you can make yourself ignore the issue of making the family name list look nice on annual Christmas cards. Imagine how you feel, opening other people’s cards: do you feel weird if you see one name longer than the others? For example: Dave, Jen, Cade, and Madison. Or: Jay, Steph, Josh, and Delaney. And if you do feel weird about it, would you say the feeling is powerful and lingering, or mild and fleeting?

There is a whole category of Baby Name Concerns that I remember from my own baby-naming days: it’s the category of “issues that matter very much during the naming process, but then never again after that.” As treatment (because I know how hard it can be to shake those things, or to know the difference between that category and the category of “issues that really will bug me permanently”), I recommend looking through a yearbook, or at the credits after a TV show or movie: so many names are non-ideal in one small way or another if we look closely at them, but it doesn’t matter at all. Even many names that are non-ideal in a larger way don’t matter at all: there are kids in my son’s yearbook named things such as Mason Thompson, which in a name post would have made me say “Uh oh, matched ending!,” and in real life didn’t get my attention until I was deliberately looking for names with issues. If I saw Quinn _ung in a yearbook or credits list, I wouldn’t flinch. All I would think if I noticed a Z and a Q in the same family is that the family liked cool initials. If I noticed a Z and an A, I might briefly and mildly think, “Oh…neat, like the two ends of the alphabet, but the other way around.”

Another exercise that was helpful for me was to think back on all the things that felt like big issues when naming previous children. So many of those issues had completely vanished once the baby was named, it was quite comforting to think about.

Dear Swistle,

My husband and I are expecting our second little boy in July! We are having a considerably harder time picking a name for him than we did for our first son. Our last name sounds like Mayer. Our first son is named Gabriel Logan (Logan is after my father) and we LOVE it. It fits him perfectly. For our second boy we want to use the middle name McDaniel, which is my maiden name. The perfect first name has eluded us so far. We definitely would like to stay away from any top 10 names. We also HATE “trendy” names like Paxton, Jax, etc.

Here are some names we like but probably will not use :

Hayes – very much so overused in our circle of friends.
Christian – love this one but we have a cousin who has a son named this. Would that be weird?
Hudson – this is dad’s middle name and feels special because of that. But neither of us think it feels right for this baby.
Marshall – I love this one but Dad isn’t wild about it.
Locke – dad doesn’t like this one
Reid – I do not like the meaning of this name for our baby.
Cormac – we like this one but it doesn’t seem to fit our style of names ( we worry it would stick out later on down the line if we have more kids)
Beau – a close friend is using this one.
Alexander – we like this but I want to save Alexandra in hopes of using it for a future baby girl.

If this little fella had been a girl some of the names we would have considered would have been Reese, Alexandra, and Mia. I feel like we would have definitely picked Reese.

Should we try to make one of these names work even though none feel right? Or start from square one? Thank you so much for your help!!

It would be helpful to know how many children you plan to have. If you’re almost certain you’d have used Reese for a girl, but you don’t want to use the name Alexander because you might want to save Alexandra for a girl, knowing if you plan three children or six would give us some idea of the likelihood of needing to save the name Alexandra. But perhaps another issue is that Alexander is Top 10 for boys.

People vary on their willingness to repeat family names. I don’t think it would be weird to have your child and your cousin’s child share a name, but I don’t know how your family is about such things or how your cousin would be likely to feel about it. You could broach the topic with the cousin and see what the reaction is. Maybe there’ll be an immediate “Oh, cool!,” or maybe there’ll be a silence and a little wrinkle between the eyebrows, and either way you’ll know more.

I notice your girl-name style is divided: the long feminine classic Alexandra, the shorter and more modern but equally feminine Mia, and the unisex Reese. Since you like the name Reid but not the meaning of it, I wonder if you would want to consider using Reese (or Rhys, or Reece) for a boy instead.

Cormac and Beau make me think of Corbin. Corbin Mayer; Corbin McDaniel Mayer; Gabriel and Corbin.

Hayes makes me think of Blaise. Blaise Mayer; Blaise McDaniel Mayer; Gabriel and Blaise.

I wonder if you’d like the name Isaac. I like it with Gabriel. Isaac Mayer; Isaac McDaniel Mayer; Gabriel and Isaac.

I also really like Everett with Gabriel. Everett Mayer; Everett McDaniel Mayer; Gabriel and Everett. That’s probably my top choice.

Or Elliot. Elliot Mayer; Elliot McDaniel Mayer; Gabriel and Elliot.

Or August. August Mayer; August McDaniel Mayer; Gabriel and August.

Or I think Henry would be sweet. Henry Mayer; Henry McDaniel Mayer; Gabriel and Henry.

Or Calvin. Calvin Mayer; Calvin McDaniel Mayer; Gabriel and Calvin.

Would your husband like Marcus better than Marshall? Marcus Mayer; Marcus McDaniel Mayer; Gabriel and Marcus.

Would he like Clark better than Locke? It also sounds somewhat like Cormac from your list. Clark Mayer; Clark McDaniel Mayer; Gabriel and Clark.

Henry (age 7) was telling me about an idea he’d had for a video game, and he said the main guy’s name was Zade, or maybe he said Zane. “Did you say Zade?,” I clarified, zeroing in on the part of the story that interested me most. “Yes,” he said, “Because Jade is a girl name.” I said I’d been checking to see if he’d said Zane, and he said with a laugh, “Zane?? Zane is a SIDEKICK name!”

It’s common for parents to say they’ve loved a name ever since they were a child. And it’s common for parents to say that they accidentally used a name for a pet and now wish they could use it for a baby. I wonder if there is any information about the next generation’s naming preferences to be found in what the current children/teenagers are naming their toys and story characters.

When I was still in college, I adopted two cats. I named them George and Oliver: names that seemed to me like perfect pet names, because they were whimsical and appealing but clearly not names I’d want to use for real children. A decade or so later, I was wishing I hadn’t wasted those excellent baby names on cats. When names are coming in but are not quite in, it’s common to see them first on animals: all those pets named Max and Sam and Jack right before the “appealing one-syllable old-man names” style hit.

Elizabeth (age 9) favors -bert names. She has toy animals named Herbert, Albert, Filbert. But I liked that kind of name too as a child: they seemed funny. And yet those weren’t an accurate prediction of names to come in my generation of parents. I wouldn’t be surprised to see the -bert names for the next generation, though.

When she was younger, around age 3, she thought her new baby cousin should be named Windiest, the most beautiful name of all.

My eldest, when he was younger, kept wanting us to name a baby Plum.

My friend’s teenaged daughter named their dog Zola.

As a child, I named a doll Megan, but that was an on-trend choice rather than a predictive one. I named another doll Jeanette Isabella for the Christmas carol; years later, I changed her name to Nina. I thought the most beautiful name I’d ever heard was Stephanie; again, on-trend rather than predictive. But I also named goldfish Cleo and Milo and Theo, and I named snails Simon and Silas. Names that seemed quirky enough for pets back then, but now seem perfect for babies.

The name Zade isn’t unheard-of (61 new baby boys given the name in 2013), but it’s very unusual: Henry hasn’t encountered it anywhere, and thinks he invented it. It shares one of the dominant sounds in the recently-popular -aden names, but is an offshoot rather than belonging to that group.

If you have children or spend time around children, what names have you noticed them favoring? Names such as Fluffy or Butterscotch won’t give us any information, but what about the others? Which names are they using that are currently in style, and which are they using that aren’t, and which names do they think they’re inventing?

Dear Swistle,

The subject line of my email [“HELP! Baby Girl due in 2 weeks – chosen name might rhyme with my own!!!”] pretty much says it all. My husband and I are expecting our second daughter in two weeks and after months of debate, we finally settled on a name…only to discover that it might possibly rhyme with my own! To complicate matters, the name we chose for our first daughter is a name that we both really love but it doesn’t really fit with either of our individual naming preferences (which are already pretty opposite) and I’m afraid we’ve really shot ourselves in the foot as far as creating a cohesive sibling set goes.

Just for a bit of background – my name is Jillian and my husband’s name is John (yes, just John). We have a 3 syllable English surname that last name starts with an “H” and is sort of similar to “Harrington”. We are looking for a name that isn’t too trendy and has a good nickname and will flow well with our daughter’s name (and any names of our future children – we’re thinking 3-5, my husband is convinced they will all be girls, for what that’s worth). As far as boy names, we both easily agree on Gabriel, August, Emery, and Alexander.

With our first, my husband’s suggested girl names were all over the place – Cambria, Sif, and Ashley were his top 3. I liked Eleanor, Frances, Twila, Poppy, Willa, Cora, and Hazel. At ten days past her due date (!!!) we finally agreed on a short list of Aurora, Clementine, Everleigh, and Willow and ended up naming her Everleigh Frances. Her name suits her perfectly and I couldn’t imagine her being called anything else (except Ev!e, her nickname).

As far as Baby Girl #2 goes, after months of passing names back and forth, we agreed on the name Vivian Margaret. There were actual tears of happiness on my end and Evie, who has shown complete indifference to the baby, ran around the house shouting “Happy Birthday Vivian!”. It seemed like such a great fit…until I realized that Vivian sounded a whole lot like Jillian…sort of? And while Evie and Vivie would be very cute together, I worry that it is too matchy matchy! Would every future daughter need a “v” in their name? Are we just getting out of one naming corner and into another? All of this second-guessing has definitely taken the original luster off “the one”!

We both agree on Margaret as a middle name so that both girls have their grandmother’s middles names as their middle names. My top picks this time around are: Daydrie, Olivia, and Maren. My husband’s list includes Aurelia, Clementine, and Leontine. The few that we sort of agree on include:

Ada (a family name but also his best friend’s daughter’s name…they live in another country)

Adeline (not quite right but I like that it is longer than Ada)

Hazel (he previously hated this name so I’m not sure this is a good choice)

Laurel (I did know a girl named Laurel who liked Marilyn Manson in 7th grade…I’m thinking I can overlook that; “Laurel Margaret” doesn’t sound too great to me though)

Lucy (Lucia is a family name but neither of us really like any of the longer variants; I’m leery of naming her Lucy, my husband doesn’t want to name her something longer if we intend to call her by the diminutive; and again, “Lucy Margaret” doesn’t sound right)

So what’s your verdict – is Vivian too similar to Jillian? Should we keep looking? I think we have some good contenders but I’m also afraid that in the future I’ll be desperately writing you again because we can’t find a 3rd/4th/5th girl’s name to go with Ev and Viv. I am open to any and all suggestions! Perhaps you and your wise commenters can find some secret set of names that appeal to both my husband and I!

Most appreciatively,
Jillian (and Vivian…?)

This seems completely fine to me. The names Jillian and Vivian have some sounds in common, but it doesn’t seem to me that they rhyme: Jillian and Lillian rhyme, for example, but Jillian and Vivian just share an ending. I might prefer not to use them for sister names (though I wouldn’t consider it weird if someone else used them), but for a mother and daughter they seem absolutely fine and I wouldn’t worry about it at all. If you were considering Lillian I might waver (though I’d be with you if you wanted to shrug and go for it), but Vivian doesn’t seem like an issue.

To me, Evie and Vivi is the bigger concern, especially if Evie is with a short-E (like EH-vee). But I generally don’t worry anywhere near as much about nickname compatibility as I do about first-name compatibility: if the nicknames turn out to be a problem, there are other options. Maybe they will go by Evie and Viv, or by Ev and Vivian, or by Everleigh and Vee.

Only you know if it’s likely two girls with V sounds would make you feel painted into a corner. For me, it would be fine, especially if you’re planning to have a larger family: two names is not enough to start an unbreakable theme, and a family of Everleigh, Vivian, Gabriel, Ada, and August is not going to make anyone say, “Why did they break the V pattern??”

I can’t know for sure, of course, but if I had to place a bet on it, I’d put my money on this being normal last-minute nerves. I think your initial reactions to the name (tears of happiness and a joyful older sister) are the ones I’d expect to pay off.

Hi!

My husband and I are currently battling each other for the winning name for our future baby girl due august 15.

We have a son already named
Hudson Alfie Campbell. (Alfie after deceased grandparent) Nicknamed Huggy, Huds, Huggleberry Finn. We choosw Hudson as it was the 1 name on my husband’s list I didnt mind and it grew on me. He viteod all of my names as I wanted him to be called Cohen Frankie (after my father Frank)
I love my sons name very much and it suits him. Our next son was going to be Cohen Frankie as my husband now likes the name! But we are having a girl… so…

My husband is very much set on the names
Savannah Lilly Campbell (nickname Savy)
Im not loving it, whilst I loved Savannah a while ago, now along with name Hudson I feel its too much. I am not keen on Lilly as it has no family ties.

I absolutely love Alba Frankie for a girl, my husband likes it but feels Savannah is more feminine without being to girly. I love that Alba is quite uncommon as opppsed to Savannah. I love thats its short and sweet and we can name her Alby.

Other middle names I like (family names) June and Amy.

We have always struggled with girls names and we never imagined we would be blessed with a girl as my husbands family is long lines of men only.

Please help with any suggestions!

Forever Appreciative! Belinda

If it is down to two names, and one of them will be chosen, it seems fair that it would be your choice: last time your husband got his way, so this time it makes sense you would get your way.

Savannah is indeed significantly more common than Alba: #37 in 2013, while Alba is not in the Top 1000. In that sense, Savannah is more compatible with Hudson, which was at #87 in 2013. But Savannah feels less fresh to me: it has been in the Top 50 since 1996, while Hudson is more recently popular.

Savannah is compatible with Hudson in that both are familiar place/river names. Alba is compatible with Hudson in that both are surname names.

Sometimes when it comes down to the battle between two finalists, both names have to be scrapped. I wonder, are you planning to have more children, so that you’d like to save the name Cohen? If not, maybe we could find a girl name similar to the name you’d agreed on. Rowan, for example, or Bronwyn, or Simone, or Zoe, or Noelle, or Fiona, or Colette, or Corinne, or Cleo.

Or perhaps tweaking one of the two finalist names would make it more pleasing to both parents. Susanna instead of Savannah, for example, or Alma instead of Alba. Or Avalon, which has a little of both names, and could have Avvie (like Savy) as the nickname. Or Waverly, or Shelby, or Olive, or Vera, or Vienna, or Albany, or Abilene, or Sabina.

Or I’d suggest Francesca with the nickname Frankie.

Or June as a first name would be nice: short and sweet, and you could call her Junie or Junebug or Juniper-berry.

If you both have lists from before you each chose a finalist, I’d go back and look at those again. Maybe one parent will love the other parent’s second-choice name, or maybe there will be more material to work with to find new candidates.

Or, since you still have approximately four months, I might advise eliminating Savannah and Alba from the running for now, and both concentrate on finding new names to consider.

Hi Swistle,

My husband and I are expecting our fifth (and we are pretty sure, final) baby in July.  Our names are Gordy & Megan, last name sounds like Carman, but with a J.

We had a girl name all picked out: Montgomery Adell, we just loved Montgomery and Adell is a family name.  We just found out last week we are having a boy and I’m going crazy trying to find a name that fits with ours and is unique enough for me.  As a Megan, I’ve met hundreds of other Megan’s, and I never wanted to have my kids to have the same thing happen to them.

We have 3 daughters and a son; Hadley Jo, Emmerson Paige & Brinley Jean and Huxton Louis. We’ve got a Surname thing going and would like to keep that going. Plus Huxton isn’t not on the SS list at all, so using a name that isn’t on it or very high at all, is important to us.  Even Hadley and Emmerson have moved up on the SS list quite a bit since we named our girls.
Another thing that is important to me is nicknames, we’ve got Emmy, Brinny and Huck. And I want to be able to fall in love with our babies name and nickname.

This baby’s middle name will be Gibb, my father’s middle name.

Our list as of now is:
Decker
Deacon
MaCalister
Macklen
Monroe (my husband doesn’t love this one)
I also love Beckham, but it’s more popular.

I am very open to suggestions, as none of these names have made me very excited.  I love our kids names and when we decided on Huxton, I just knew that was it.  So any help you can give us would be very welcomed.

Thanks so much!

Megan

My suggestion is to use Montgomery. Although it’s traditionally a boy name, it’s currently extremely unusual for boys as well as for girls—unlike, say, Jacob, which would be extremely unusual for a girl but extremely common for a boy. In 2013, the Social Security Administration reports the name Montgomery was used for 82 new baby boys and 19 new baby girls. This makes it somewhat more common than the name Huxton (10 new baby boys in 2013), but still significantly less common than the names Hadley, Emmerson/Emerson/Emersyn/etc., and Brinley/Brinlee/Brinleigh/etc. (hundreds/thousands of each in 2013). Montgomery Gibb seems like an excellent choice for the sibling group.

More suggestions:

Abbott
Banks
Baxter
Becker
Conway
Crawford
Crockett
Crosby
Fielding
Fletcher
Gates
Gibson
Keller
Lawson
McCormick
McNeil
Mercer
Merritt
Meyer
Meyers/Myers
Miller
Morris
Murphy
Nicholson
Nickerson
Perkins
Redford
Reeves
Shepard/Shepherd
Smith
Turner
Wagner
Walsh
Watkins
Whitaker
Wilder
Wilkins

I included names even if I couldn’t think of a nickname right away; I am not always quick to see nickname potential. I took out Hathaway and Holloway after realizing that might be too much H with Hadley and Huxton. I took out Gibson and Lawson and Nicholson and Nickerson after realizing they repeated the ending of Emerson, but especially with five children I think it would be fine to repeat an ending, so I put them back in. Names such as Perkins and Watkins might be too much -in- with Brinley, but I wasn’t sure I thought so, so I left them in.

I took out Gibson again because it doesn’t work with the middle name Gibb, but it’s possible you’d want to use Gibson as the honor name instead, so then I put it back in. I left in other names I didn’t think worked well with the middle name Gibb, because one person’s “doesn’t work well” is another person’s “works great/fine,” and because sometimes parents change the middle name choice if they find a first name they love that doesn’t work with it.

I’m expecting my second little girl in July and we just can’t find a name that is as special as our older daughters name.

My 2 year old daughter is Miley which is a combination of my husband and my own name, Michael and Ashley. Her middle name is after her paternal grandmother who passed away just before we found out we were expecting. Her name felt so perfect and came to me so easy.

I feel like we need to give this girl a family name or at least a name with some meaning since Miley is so special to us. The problem is I have no idea how to combine our names to come up with another name. Does naming 2 kids after yourself make me a narcissist? I am not a fan of our parents names, they’re all VERY dated. IE: Connie, Scott, Penny, Vance.

Our last name is Tschauner (with a silent T). While I would like something that isn’t hugely popular, I don’t want her to have to spell her first AND last name each time she says it.

Ashley

A familiar naming practice in our society is to name the firstborn son after the father. When that practice is followed, it doesn’t seem as if most of those families feel they have to match that level/type of specialness for the second child’s name. The feeling seems to be that the firstborn child gets the big special honor name (sometimes because the parents want this, other times because of family pressures), and then after that the names are chosen differently and/or more freely. Maybe they DO also use an honor name for the second child, but it isn’t as if they always choose the mother’s name because that’s the only name that would be an equal honor.

It would be the same if your maiden name had been, say, Meredith, and you’d named your first daughter Meredith. You wouldn’t need to rearrange the letters of your maiden name to come up with another maiden-name name for your second daughter, nor would you need to find another family maiden name: the idea would be that you’d had a special honor name to use, and so you’d used it for your firstborn child, and now naming could proceed for subsequent children the same as if there HADN’T been a special honor name.

And I say the same for this situation you’re in. You gave your firstborn child a name that was a combination of her parents’ names, and that was a fun and clever and special idea. But now I don’t think you need to somehow do the same for all your children, any more than you would if you had a Michael Tschauner Jr. or a Meredith. You’ve used the special honor name, and now you can proceed just as you would if you HADN’T used a special honor name for your firstborn.

Furthermore, I don’t think the Michael + Ashley connection is going to occur to people who meet your daughter. If you’d named her Ashley-Michaela, people might notice; but the name Miley is a subtle tribute. Others will not be wondering why you didn’t do the same for a second daughter.

I do understand the impulse to match the specialness. If you would like to pursue that option, I think it’s a good idea to ask how far you’re willing to go to succeed. Considering your firstborn is named after both her parents, it would be difficult to match that level of honor. Perhaps you could use all four grandparent names, sacrificing the preference for names you like in favor of the preference for namesake specialness: Miley and her little sister Connie Vance Penny Scott.

I suggest instead redefining what you consider “special.” A name can be special for many, many, many reasons—and as much as I like sibling names to coordinate, I don’t see any reason the type of specialness needs to coordinate. The next child’s name can be special because it reminds you of a place that’s special to you, or because it’s the name of an author or poet or actor or scientist who is special to you, or because you both loved it so much.

If you are certain this is your final child, and if you find the only level of specialness that feels right to you is the exact kind you used for your first child’s name, then I suggest looking at El- names (the last two letters of Michael instead of the first two) and Ash- names (the first three letters of Ashley instead of the last three). Or Michaela is still available, perhaps as a middle name. Something like Ellery Ashlyn could work: the El- of Michael, the -y of Ashley and then the Ash- of Ashley. Or Sasha Michaela: the -ash- of Ashley, the Michael- of Michael. Or you could make her initials M.A. or A.M.

But this sort of thing makes me feel a little tired. It feels forced. It’s as if you had a Michael John Tschauner Jr., and now we were trying to name a second son John Michael or Jonathan Micah: it’s never going to measure up to the original honor, and it feels so unnecessary to attempt it. And on top of that, I think it reduces the specialness of the second name rather than increasing it, by making it seem like a paler version of the firstborn’s name.

No, I vote to scrap the whole idea. Give your second daughter an honor name only if there’s one you like and want to use. Or if there are none you like, give her as a middle name the disliked name of someone you love and want to honor. Make her name special by choosing something you love, especially for her.

Hello! We are expecting our first baby, a boy, in a few weeks and still have not settled on a first name. The last name sounds like Neg-Ed but starting with an M (the G is hard and it’s 2 syllables). The middle name will be my last name, which sounds like Peench starting with an H. I know that combo doesn’t roll off the tongue, but I really want to use my family name somehow, so the middle name is non-negotiable. I imagine the full name will rarely be said out loud, and the middle name will be reserved for formal occasions like diplomas and passports. Most of the time it will be First name H. Last name. Because our last names are not easy, we prefer classic spellings of all first names.

We have a list of 4 first names at this point: Eli, Gideon, Ori, and Avery. I should mention that we are looking for names that are Jewish/from the Old Testament or are Israeli without being too religious (for example, Isaac is out because in Hebrew it is Yitzak, which is a very old school and religious name). We live in the US and I’m American, but my husband’s family is in Israel. What’s most important is how the name we choose works in the US, though we are trying to consider the Israeli perspective somewhat.

Eli – solid, easy, safe choice. Too popular? Too boring?

Gideon – A lovely name, which is classic but kind of quirky, from the Old Testament, and not too common. Concerns here: too many Gs in the first + last name? In Israel Gideon (Gidon there) is old fashioned. The meaning (warrior) is not great, but he is doing karate in my uterus right now, so maybe it will suit him.

Ori – We both love this name, which is Israeli for “my light.” This is a similar meaning to my first name, which is nice. Our concerns are that it is too foreign sounding, and not obvious if it’s a male or female to most Americans. The combo of Ori with the last name, unless one is familiar with Israeli names, could come across as very foreign and totally unrecognizable.

Avery – Solid American name which we both really like. It’s not biblical, but we would use the Hebrew name Ivri (pronounced Ee-vree) for family in Israel. Ivri means “of the Hebrew”, which is a nod towards his grandfather’s family, who were Hebrew language scholars. Also his grandfather Avi passed away, and Avery could be considered named after him. We prefer not to use his grandfather’s exact name, so Avery is a nice compromise. Our concern here is that Avery is a really popular girl’s name right now!

Gabriel and Ethan are names that made our short list initially, but ultimately we don’t love them. Also don’t love Elijah. Other names that won’t work for us: Jacob, Daniel, Adam, Ben, Jonathan, Elliot (names of our nephews/cousins), David (meh), Jonah (an ex), and Noah (too common). We hope to have 2 kids, but may just have this one. If we had a girl, we would probably have named her Naomi or Nessa (which means miracle in Hebrew).

Thanks in advance for any thoughts on our current choices or new name ideas! We promise to let you know what we choose.

I think Eli is a very nice name. It doesn’t strike me as too popular, or boring.

I also like Gideon very much. It is a lot of G and D with the surname, which is the sort of thing some people would avoid and others would seek out; it’s a matter of how it sounds to you. Do you like the way the repeated sounds hit your ear when you say them aloud, or does it feel like a downside?

I’m interested too to know how Ori strikes other people. I’ve had only one encounter with the name: a girl I went to high school with was named Orianna, and was occasionally called Ori. But I wouldn’t base much on one single exposure to the name, and if I saw Ori on a list I definitely wouldn’t assume girl: I’d be completely uncertain. I have also known a boy named Ari, so I can make an Ari/Ori connection and see it as masculine. I’m also familiar with the name Omri from the book The Indian in the Cupboard; that too could make the name feel natural to me as a boy’s name. And the name looks a little like Ollie, a name I’m familiar with as a nickname for Oliver. But it also looks a little like Lori and Dori and Tori, familiar as girl names. And it makes me think of Cory and Rory, which are both unisex names. In short, the name looks ambiguous to me, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find it belonged to a girl OR to a boy.

You’re right that Avery is a unisex name leaning girl. In 2013, the name was given to 9,121 new baby girls and 2,036 new baby boys. Usage is currently holding fairly steady for boys (#196 in 2013) while rising for girls: #12 in 2013, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see it in the Top 10 when the 2014 data comes out in May. If you plan to have more children, it is possible that using a unisex-leaning-girl name for a boy could cause sibling-name selection issues.

I notice that three of the four names on your finalist list are vowel-heavy with softer sounds: Eli, Ori, Avery. I don’t know anything about how names sound in Israel or what their Hebrew equivalents are/mean, but that is where I might start if I were looking for more options. Names such as Joel, Seth, Levi, Nathaniel, Paul, Cyrus, Owen, Leo, Oliver.

I think my top favorite option is Eli from your finalist list.

Desperately seeking a name for Jillian and Oliver’s little sister! If
baby was a boy, I am 100% on Theodore (“”Theo”) Henry. However, just
found out we’re having another girl and I am completely stumped! The
perfect name for me would be classy, but friendly and approachable. I
love names that have cutesy nicknames and British sounding names. I
was so worried about Jillian seeming dated and a “mom name” when I
chose it, but now I couldn’t possibly love it more. What names could
go with Jillian?

A few I think I like…
Annabel: (only like this spelling) pro- cute nn “Annie” for little
girl con- “bel” names over used, is this too much associated with
being a cow’s name?

Eloise: pros: love love love all of the cute nick names, love the way
this name looks written cons: “wheeze” sound sometimes bothers me,
“el” names too trendy to be timeless?

Eliza: sometimes i love it, sometimes it just looks like Elizabeth
unfinished, lack of cute nn

Daphne: lack of nn, really dislike “daffy”, prob. best for middle name

Margo

Clara

Isabel: pretty sound, really really popular

Charlotte: popular, don’t care for “char” or “charlie”

Would so so love and appreciate more suggestions!!! :) The perfect
name is out there somewhere, I just can’t seem to find it!

I really like Lillian, but obviously not an option since we already
have Jillian! ;)

I wonder if you would like Lottie as a nickname for Charlotte.

Without a surname to work with, it’s difficult to come up with more possibilities. But here are some that feel to me like they could be a good fit with Jillian:

Abigail
April
Audrey
Bethany
Bianca
Bridget
Clarissa
Claudia
Holly
Laurel
Lindsay
Lydia
Meredith
Natalie
Molly
Sabrina
Veronica
Winifred

Have you noticed the main issue with many of these names? No good nicknames. The Holly I know is often called Holls, but that’s not a nickname in the Jillian/Jill sense: she wouldn’t write “Holls” on a school paper, for example. Bethany/Beth is equivalent to Jillian/Jill, but the nickname Beth sounds a bit mommish at this point; same with Laurie for Laurel.

The only ones that seem to me to be as good as Jill for Jillian are Winnie for Winifred and Abby for Abigail. Liddy/Lyddie for Lydia and Bree for Sabrina and Bee for Bianca are close.

I think your own list contains more promising candidates. Annabel/Annie is adorable, and I don’t think of Annabel as a cow name. I love Eloise and Eliza, and I don’t think the El- keeps them off the timeless list or that Eliza looks like an unfinished Elizabeth. When I say Eloise aloud, I don’t hear “wheeze”: at most I hear “weez.” To force the “wheeze” sound to appear, I have to shape my mouth differently. Eliza could be nicknamed Liza, which at my house would probably turn into Liza-Lou. (You could also use Ellie, but then you’d be emphasizing the part that concerns you.)

Hello!
My husband and I are considering having a 7th (and final!) Baby. Naming this child will be tough!! We have found it increasing difficult to name children after already using our favorite names on our older children. The problem we face is that we seem to have developed a pattern and we are not sure if we can continue with this next child. My question is, should we abandon the pattern? Or settle for a name solely on the reason that it fits the pattern? Here’s the stats: Our last name is Blackhouse but the color White. My first initial is K, My husband’s is C. Our children are: Ella, Faith, Gavin, Hayden, Isaiah, and Jude. The type A part of me wants this baby to have a D name so we would have all of the letters between mine and my husbands name, but we have scoured D name lists to no avail. I do like Delilah, but don’t appreciate the biblical connection to Samson and Delilah. Any suggestions?? Im hoping you have some fabulous D name that I have yet to think of and will save the day!

This letter caught my eye because we had a similar situation: when I was pregnant with my final child, my dad noticed that we had so far used letters only between my initial and Paul’s. It was very tempting to keep this going, especially because I didn’t know it was our final child, so even though there were three initials still available, MAYBE we’d use them all! As it turned out, we didn’t try to go with that, and yet we did use one of those three initials (and the runner-up name was another of those three initials). I’ve wondered, if I were to suddenly be expecting twins, if I’d try for those remaining two initials!

I think we wouldn’t, but I might start there just for fun, or might use that to help decide between finalists. The reason is that although it IS kind of fun, it’s almost completely unnoticeable. I think I would have a harder time resisting it if we’d used the initials in order, but we didn’t, and that makes it even LESS noticeable.

So in your case, I think that would be my opinion about what you should do too. (“Do what Swistle did”—is that really what I’m saying my advice is? Apparently so.) I think it’s a great idea to look for a D name, because that’s fun and the idea appeals to you. Maybe use it as one of the ways to decide between finalists. But I wouldn’t advise choosing a name you like less just to get the fun initials thing. If you’ve already looked through all the D names and haven’t found anything you like, it sounds to me as if that idea isn’t going to work out; I’m not likely to find one you’ve missed. The only one that comes to mind (and you’ll have already seen it in the D section) is Dahlia/Dalia: it’s similar to Delilah, but no awkward biblical story. I’ve gotten very fond of the name because of the P.D. Wodehouse books about Jeeves: Aunt Dahlia is a regular character, and one of my favorites.

Or Delia.

For a boy, a couple of my favorite D names are Declan and Daniel and Dean and Darian and Davis—but again, nothing that you haven’t already seen in the name book.

Or maybe things will look different once/if there is an actual baby on the way. My non-pregnant name lists tend to be different than my pregnant name lists, I think because I find it hard to focus realistically when the situation is still hypothetical. We used some names I never even considered before I was pregnant, even though I’d made many name lists before and between. Perhaps you’ll go through the D section again and suddenly latch on to a name that never caught your eye in previous perusals.