Update (and photos!) on Baby Naming Issue: A Repeated -er/-ur Ending!

Update on Baby Girl Casper, Sister to Berkley Dawn!

Update on Baby Boy 0$term@n, Brother to Carys!

Update on Middle Name Challenge: Sydney ______ Cobalt!

I was happy to be able to post a name update this morning. I don’t know about you, but I am feeling discouraged by the low percentage of name updates. I don’t know what the solution is. I used to email parents and ASK for the updates, but (1) that involves a fair amount of tracking due dates and writing emails, and (2) after not one but TWO very sad replies to such emails, I didn’t want to ask anymore. Imagine nagging a parent for something as trivial as a name update when that parent is grieving, and then that parent has to RESPOND to the nagging email. Let’s never do that again, was my feeling.

Well. I should post a question for us to answer but I don’t feel like it today: I’m restless, and overwhelmed with kid birthday-party stuff. Let’s just have a general baby-name discussion. Just, anything you want to say about baby names, go ahead and start it with a comment, and we can all skim through and see what we want to join in on. Probably we should not start a discussion where we trash other people’s name choices, but anything else we want to talk about.

I’ll go first. I recently had a fun discussion with my sister-in-law about what other middle names our babies could have had. I thought it would have been fun if my niece’s middle name had been my sister-in-law’s sister’s name, and I was also wondering what middle name they would have chosen for my nephew if they hadn’t decided to go with a naming tradition, and we discussed the possibilities for awhile. Then I mentioned a couple of whimsical middle names (Marigold, Fern, etc.) I would have liked to consider for Elizabeth if we hadn’t used Paul’s previous first-choice name (he was willing to switch to the new favorite, but couldn’t quite let go of his old favorite). And what middle names we might have used instead of honor names, if we’d decided against honor names.

We also talked about what other names the twins could have been. One combination I think would have worked well was John and Genevieve. I like that they have the same starting sound, but still have different initials. And although it can be hard to imagine children having different names, both names seem like possible fits. (Some, like Eric and Bianca, I really can’t picture.)

Here’s another possible topic. What are we going to do with all the names we start loving AFTER we’ve named all our babies? Will we have to start giant doll collections or something? I was thinking it might be fun to frame each name and make a collection on the wall; it would be easy to take down ones we no longer liked, and put up fresh ones. “Wow, are these all family members or something?,” a guest might ask. “No, no—just my favorite baby names,” we’d reply placidly.

Update (and photo!) on Baby Girl Smith, Sister to Saylor and Grayson!

I’m due in 3 weeks and 5 days and we have made NO progress on the baby boy name. Naming a baby shouldn’t be this stressful!!! Desperately looking for some baby name advice. Anything would help at this point. I’m still holding out for that lightbulb “ahah” moment when I just ‘know’ it’s the one. Anyways, here are the details:
– we have a 2 year old daughter named Mila Juliet Langlee (last name is similiar sounding- but changed for privacy)
– we know we are having a boy
– my husband and I both want to name him James for a first name
—— my husband is obsessed with James Dean and James Bond
—— I like the connection to Jacob – which is a beloved family member name that passed away
—— I think Mila and James sound good together (I think!)
B U T
I’m worried James is way too boring/common. I would really like to spice it up with a middle name (or even 2 middle names) to make it unique and original.
Things we have been toying around with:
– I would love to honor my dad Matthew (Maciej) somehow. But I think Matthew is waaaay to boring – and makes James even more common. And I think the polish version Maciej is just plain to weird for english speakers.
– I have a polish background (hence why we felt we could use Mila) and my husband is English/Irish/German
– Names I have considered but they just don’t seem ‘right’:
—— Christian (i like it but not really a stand out)
—— Tristan (i like but seems kind of out of left field)
—— Liam (too common?)
—— Finn (too casual?)
—— Matteo (I’m not latin…)
—— Luke (meh?)
—— Leo (too nicknamey?)
—— Nicholas (can’t remember who didn’t like this one)

AHHHHHHHHH!
Please help!
Oh please oh please oh please!

James ‘blank blank’ Langlee

Here is my first question: Do YOU think the name James is boring/common? Or are you worried OTHER people will think so? If YOU think the name is delightful and full of meaning and not boring at all, then I wonder if it would be helpful to practice some shrugging. Any name you choose, there will be someone who thinks it is too boring or too out-there, too common or too unusual, too old or too new, too long or too short. I can see how there could be a group who would hear the name James and think “YAWN.” And to them we say “SHRUG.” Perhaps they would prefer to choose different names for their own babies, then.

I suggest using some spin, even in your own thoughts. When your mind frets that the name James is “too common,” correct it: it’s a popular and enduring classic—as in, a lot of people love it, and a lot of people have loved it for MILLENNIA. Let’s sing that Christina Perri song to the name James:

I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I’ll love you for a
Thousand more

(Sing the “Darling, don’t be afraid” part to yourself.)

Well, all this is if you DO love the name. I find it delightful and not boring at all, and a lot of other people find it delightful and not boring at all, but do YOU find it so? If this is not last-minute fretting but is instead a more serious issue such as that the name James is your husband’s choice but you are really not feeling it, then it is a different matter. In that case I’d suggest telling your husband immediately, switching James to a middle name, and starting over from scratch on the first name. It may feel too late to do that, but it’s a little like calling off a wedding: as the date approaches, it gets harder and harder to do—but if it’s not right, it’s not right.

But if you do love the name and you’d just like to make it a little peppier, then this is a very, very fun task. I think the middle name region is a great place to get adventurous, and a great way to balance the style of a first name: something more conservative for a daring first name, something more daring for a conservative first name.

I also feel much less stress about middle name issues than about first name issues. I might not be sure about a difficult to spell/pronounce name such as Thijs (a name from my own ethnic background) as a first name, but as a middle name? Sure! I might not be sure about the flow of a French first name with the cultural clash of my surname, but as a middle name? Sure! Maybe I’m not sure a name such as Marigold or Clover is one I want to use as a first name, but as a middle name? Sure!

If you were considering Maciej as a first name, I’d be totally with you on the spelling/pronunciation issues for the United States: that was how I felt in the end about the name Thijs: just TOO HARD. But as a middle name, I think it’s terrific. (Pronunciation of Maciej for those who are interested: Forvo, Straight Dope discussion board.)

Middle names are hardly ever used, especially by strangers; I have to put them on paperwork, but even my good friends probably don’t know my middle names or remember my children’s middle names. On the rare occasions when the middle name comes out (probably to someone like me, enthusiastically questioning you at a party or at the park, or maybe to a curious receptionist), you’ll say “It’s my dad’s name,” and that will be the end of it; you’re more likely to get a “Cool!” than a funny look.

Of the other names on your list, I’d get rid of any that seem meh or boring to you, but keep any that you’re only worried will seem meh or boring to others. Do you love the name Liam? Then it’s not too common.

Finn doesn’t seem too casual to me, Leo doesn’t seem too nicknamey.

If you love Tristan, I don’t think it matters if it’s out of left field: in fact, that’s a point in its favor, if your goal is to spice up the name. James Tristan Maciej Langlee is a splendid name.

I suggest using this as your main filter: Does the name make your heart give a happy little jump and make baby-naming seem like fun again? Then keep it on the list. Does it make you sigh and feel as if this task is futile? Then cross it off. If you’re left with none, go back to the baby name book and skim it; see if any names give you that happy feeling. Any that stay on the list or are added to the list, write them on little pieces of paper and start playing with arrangements. Like this:

Your husband likes James because he loves James Bond and James Dean; are there some actors/characters/authors/poets/scientists/activists you love, and do any of them have first/last names you could use? If the surname is your husband’s, would your maiden name be useable? Do you have any more family names you could use, including surnames and male versions of women’s names (Paul to honor a Paula, for example)? Do you have any names you considered as first names but had to rule out for reasons that were important for a first name but wouldn’t be important for a middle name (for example, a friend already used the name, or it’s the name of a dearly loved family member but you really dislike their name, or it didn’t sound right with the surname)? I notice you like Leo and Matteo; would you like Hugo or Nico? I notice you like Leo and Liam; would you like Leon or Lee? (Well, perhaps not with the surname, depending on what it is.) If Nicholas is not quite right, would you like Nico or Cole? I notice you like Christian and Tristan; I wonder if you (or your daughter, if she’s old enough to enjoy the movie Frozen) would like Kristoff? And so on.

Dear Swistle,
I am 35 weeks pregnant and we would love some help with a name, specifically a middle name for a baby girl. We have two daughters whose first and middle names are Molly Claire and Hope Charlotte. All four of their names are meaningful to us in some way by either honoring a family member or something significant in our life. We tend to like classic, timeless names that fit nicely together. Our last name sounds like “Kalderelly.”
We do not know the gender of this baby but we hope to have a decision when we head to the hospital. If it is a boy our top choice is Reid Joseph. We also like the boy names Evan and Thomas. Joseph will be the middle name.
For girls our top choice is currently Emma and we also like the names Anna, Ava, Leah. Despite the popularity of the name, we think Emma sounds the best with our last name and it was also a contender for our other daughters. We like Emma because it is a family name and a German name which reflects both sides of our family. We are stumped for a middle name. Here are some middle name options: May, Alissa, Alice (short for Alissa), Kate, Jess and June. May, Alissa and Jess are all family names. Kate has my initials in it KA, and June is a name my daughters have called this baby because I am due in June!
Do Emma (and Reid) flow nicely with Molly and Hope? Which middle name do you think works the best with Emma? We are open to suggestions and ideas. Thanks so much for your help and we are excited to hear feedback. I’ve always wanted to write in to this site!
Fondly,
A soon-to-be Family of 5

I love your daughters’ suggestion of June: I think I would go with Emma June. It’s my favorite from the list anyway, it’s wonderful with Molly Claire and Hope Charlotte, and it makes for a great naming story.

Update on Baby Boy or Girl Bourgeois!

Hi Swistle,

I’m pregnant with baby #4, which is so exciting because I’ve always dreamed of having four kids and my husband told me it would have to be with my next husband. But then he came around, so hurray!!!

This baby is a surprise on the sex, we’ll find out when he or she is born (all four were surprises) and he/she is due on May 27th. We’re a little short on time, but I was just telling Josh that you help people with baby names and he said EMAIL SWISTLE!! We need help!

Our three children are:
Gabriel Scott (Gabe)
Josephine Shai (Josie)
Sebastian Eli (Seb or Sebastian)

We are all over the map with names. If it is a girl, our top contenders are likely Alexandra or Simone. Maybe Alexandra Simone or Simone Isabel. It can’t be Simone Alexandra because our last name starts with G and I wouldn’t want her initials to be SAG. We are open to all suggestions, though.

For a boy, my husband adores the name Julian but I can’t seem to get behind that name. It feels too feminine to me. I like Alexander, but not the nickname Alex. I also like Henry and Harrison but he doesn’t love those. I like Nathaniel (Nate) but he doesn’t. We are fairly desperate on the boy front in particular.

I’m the kind of person who needs to *feel* the name. I keep pretending to yell the names out the back door and I can’t tell which one is my baby!

Thanks in advance,
Nathalia