Update (and photo) on Baby Naming Issue: Sabine, Pronounced Sabina

Update (and photo) on Baby Boy Burner-with-a-T, Brother to Joel

Hi Swistle,

We are so excited to be expecting a baby girl this coming January, but I thought that naming a girl would come much easier than it has been! I would love your help and insight on our list, and maybe some new, fresh suggestions we haven’t thought of yet.

Our surname is McNeely, and our son’s name is Abel Willis McNeely (the middle name, Willis, is my maiden name that we wanted to honor.) We want this baby’s middle name to be Kathryn, which is a bit more traditional than I am usually drawn to but is the name of my late mother-in-law who passed recently.)

I tend to like shorter, less traditional names. Some of the names that I’ve been drawn to have been a bit quirky, but my husband tends to veto them. He likes more popular names like Olivia, but I’m not necessarily wanting to name her something that is on the “Top 10” list at the moment. Some names on the vetoed list:

Luna
Lola
Sunday
Harlow
Maeve

Names that we are still considering:

Evie
Reese
Sloane
Darby
Sadie
Faye
Liv

We also really like more traditionally “boy” names for a girl. My husband likes Charlie, but I feel like that might be too popular. I like Drew or Perry.

Something else to consider: Abel is such a traditional biblical name that we would be open to naming her something biblical as well, but it certainly isn’t a must.

I feel like we have a good list, but I’m just not sure the right name is on there yet! We would love your help!

Thanks so much,
Erin McNeely

So much depends on whether or not you think you might have more children after this one. If you are only naming one girl, any of the names on your list work well with Abel: each gives a different spin to the sibling set, but nothing clashes. (I did notice that Faye McNeely makes the word “fame” when I say it aloud.) I’d recommend my usual techniques for narrowing down a list: having each parent rank the names in order and getting rid of any that are toward the bottom of both lists; trying out each name for a day; going to the mall and picturing each name on an assortment of strangers of various ages; waiting to see if any name rises naturally to the top with time; playing little games where you fool yourself into thinking a name has been chosen/eliminated and seeing what your reaction is; and so on.

If, however, you’re planning more children, I think the first step is to consider how much sibling-name coordination matters to you. Some people don’t care about that at all and can happily have two daughters named Isabella and Blake; some people care about it to the point of matching initials and letters and syllables as well as style; and most of us fall somewhere in between.

If you are planning to have more children AND you like sibling names to coordinate, then I’d like to see if we can get a firmer grip on your preferred style. Reese, Sloane, and Darby are in one style category: they’d make good sister names for each other. Sadie and Faye are in a different style category: they’d make good sister names for each other, but wouldn’t work as well with the names in the first group. Evie and Liv feel to me like a third group, though they’d work well with names in the second group; when I tried to come up with names in their style category below, there was so much overlap with the Sadie/Faye group that I gave up and made it one list. The main difference is that Evie and Liv feel more current/popular right now than Sadie/Faye, because of all the Evelyns and Olivias and Avas.

If you picture your little future flock of ducklings, what names feel most like the names of Your Family? Imagine the kids around the dinner table, or listening to a book, or fighting like mad cats. Do they seem like an Abel, a Reese, and a Darby? Or do they seem more like an Abel, a Sadie, and a Faye? Or do they seem more like an Abel, an Evie, and a Liv? Which group feels like your real actual kids?

I’m looking through the Biblical section of The Baby Name Wizard, and I see a lot of names that go well with Abel (Esther, Miriam, Ruth, Claudia, Lydia), but not very many that seem to fit your style. Let’s see if we can find more options for the other categories.

To go with Reese/Sloane/Darby:

Beckett
Britt
Callister
Crosby
Ellery
Ellis
Emory
Holland
Hollis
Keaton
Lane
Perrin
Quinn
Rowan
Shea
Sterling
Waverly (repeats ending of surname)
Winslow

To go with Sadie/Faye/Evie/Liv:

Annie
Bessie
Cora
Daisy
Edie
Flora
Ginny
Hattie
Hazel (repeats ending of Abel)
Ida
Josie
June
Pearl
Polly (repeats ending of surname)
Tess
Willa

Hi Swistle,

I am expecting my third baby in early April, another boy! This will be our last child. I always joked that I couldn’t have another boy because I couldn’t possibly come up with another boy name, but here I am! My first 2 are: William Elliot and Benjamin Oliver. Our last name is pronounced Zong@s with a silent T on the front. With a difficult to pronounce and spell last name it’s important that first names are relatively straightforward. As you can see we also prefer more timeless names that shorten easily, though William is still always William, Benjamin is often Ben or Benj.

This baby’s middle name will be Patrick. Although we didn’t use honour names with our first 2, I was with my uncle Patrick when he passed away, and hours later I found out I was pregnant again with this baby.

Our front runners are:

Sebastian – our favourite, but not a fan of the nickname options. William, Benjamin & Sebastian sounds great, but Will, Ben and Seb?!? Or Will, Ben and Bash/Bastian?!? I just don’t think those work…

Nathan or Nathaniel – both full name and nickname are good, just not sure it’s the one

Lucas – I love this name, but feel like this doesn’t work well with our last name

Other names we’ve considered:

Theodore – too formal, although a great nickname

Maxwell – don’t love the full name (and other Max starts are too formal), love the nickname

Marcus

Elijah

Names we won’t use: Alexander, Samuel, Nicholas, Thomas, Christian, Michael.

If this baby was a girl, her name would have been Cecilia.

Should we just go with Sebastian and not worry about the nickname issue? I’d love your input on the names we’re considering and anything else we should re-consider with a fresh set of eyes!

Sebastian seems about as formal as Theodore to me; that is, I think either of them would be fine in the sibling group but that both are a little dressier than William/Benjamin. Although the nicknames Seb/Sebby don’t come as naturally to me as Will/Ben do, I think this is because I grew up with a couple of boys named Ben and I know a bunch of children named Will and Ben now, but I haven’t yet known a Sebastian. If I practice it a little, it doesn’t take me long to be able to picture saying, “Hey, Seb—time to brush your teeth” or “Hey, Seb, we leave in five minutes, okay?”

Nathan/Nathaniel/Nate seems great to me.

I agree with you that Lucas Zong@s does not quite work. It hits my ear with a comical bouncing near-rhyme. Marcus is similar.

I suggest Jonathan. Jonathan Patrick Zong@s; William, Benjamin, and Jonathan; Will, Ben, and Jon.

Or Daniel. Similar to Nathaniel. Daniel Patrick Zong@s; William, Benjamin, and Daniel. Will, Ben, and Dan.

Or Jacob. Jacob Patrick Zong@s; William, Benjamin, and Jacob; Will, Ben, and Jake.

Or Calvin. Calvin Patrick Zong@s; William, Benjamin, and Calvin; Will, Ben, and Cal.

Or Charles. Charles Patrick Zong@s; William, Benjamin, and Charles; Will, Ben, and Charlie.

Or Gabriel. Gabriel Patrick Zong@s; William, Benjamin, and Gabriel; Will, Ben, and Gabe.

I’d like to suggest Wesley, but I’m not sure about it: possibly the nickname shares too many sounds with the other two nicknames. Wesley Patrick Zong@s; William, Benjamin, and Wesley; Will, Ben, and Wes.

If you decide to give up on the preference for a nickname, I suggest Henry. Henry Patrick Zong@s; William, Benjamin, and Henry. I think Henry’s Y-ending gives it a sound that’s compatible with nicknames, so that even if William eventually goes by Will, I still like the sound of Will, Ben, and Henry. Or you could use Hank or Harry as a nickname.

Update (and photo) on Middle Name Challenge: Harrison _____ Killarney

Hello Swistle!

Baby boy due in January and my husband and I are having trouble agreeing on a name. His brothers name is Lennox West and our last name is Dioguardi. My family is scandinavian so I want to honor that and I also love boy names with an X so Axel is my first choice. I have always loved that name. My husband thinks its too ‘tough guy’ and that our son should be in a biker gang. My husband likes the names Marcus, Gray, Grayson and I think those are boring and dont go with our last name or brothers name. We have talked about Oliver and Oscar but they are not quite our style though I do like the names. Help me convince my hubby that Axel is the right choice or suggest other names.

Anna Dioguardi

Lennox and Axel feels like a lot of X to me, but that’s very subjective. Lennox is unisex (given to 394 new baby girls and 692 new baby boys in 2016) but Axel is not; I think this contrast may add even more to the macho feeling of Axel. Your husband’s choice of Grayson is an excellent style match for Lennox, but if you don’t like it we should look for something else.

Baxter (has an X)
Brogan
Channing
Crosby
Finley
Fletcher
Flynn
Keaton
Lawson
Logan
Meyer
Miller
Quincy
Paxton
Redford
Thompson
Xavier (has an X)

For Scandinavian names, I used Nameberry:

Anders
Anderson
Broder
Callan
Carlsen
Daven
Ericson
Hanson
Haldan
Janson
Jenson
Kai
Kieron
Olsen
Verner

Dear Swistle,

A friend recently had her second baby and, as we oohed and ahhed over this new human she and her husband created, we got to talking about other names they had been considering. My friend brought out her huge list of baby names for both genders and I was so completely, utterly shocked to see my (secret) in-the-off-chance-we-had-another-baby-and-if-that-baby-was-a-girl name on her list: Blythe.

The reason I was so surprised is because, while this friend and I have many things in common, taste in baby names is not one of them. Like, I don’t see any overlap at all. I respect her choices and can see how they’re right for her and for her children, but they are not names I would choose (as I’m certain my kids’ names aren’t ones she would choose).

My friend says she is without doubt finished having babies and I’m nearly completely certain we are, too, so this isn’t a territorial kind of scenario. It’s almost guaranteed that neither of us will use the name Blythe. Nor is it a “who wore it better” kind of thing where I want to be told my kids’ names suit Blythe’s style better.

I was just taken aback that two people with such very different tastes in names both felt moony about Blythe. So my question is this: what style is Blythe, would you say? Is it one of those names that plays well with others? I love the name, but it is a bit of a mystery to me. I’m not sure what I love about it; I think it’s a combination of the way it looks on paper and the lovely-to-me “th” sound at the end, with that bonus “e.” To me it’s unusual, short and sweet…much like my daughter’s name. Plus, my Gilbert Blythe association probably helps as we’re big Anne of Green Gables fans.

And, just for fun, what’s your personal opinion on Blythe as a name? And could I potentially use it though my other 3 kids have vowel names? NOT because “vowel names” are a style, but because Blythe might stand out as sounding different?

Your fellow name nerd,
M

It IS a little hard to pin down, isn’t it! I think it’s because it’s a name that’s never been in the Top 1000: I tend to group names with other names that were popular at the same time, but the name Blythe has never been popular in the United States. I looked in the Social Security database that shows the usage of names outside the Top 1000; I took a sample of the usage every ten years so we could see what it’s been up to:

1886: -F, -M
1896: -F, -M
1906: -F, -M
1916: -F, -M
1926: 6F, -M
1936: -F, -M
1946: 12F, -M
1956: 24F, 5M
1966: 16F, -M
1976: 58F, -M
1986: 68F, -M
1996: 43F, -M
2006: 65F, 8M
2016: 168F, 6M

Anne of Green Gables was published in 1908. The movie was made in 1934, and then there were a fair number of miniseries and made-for-TV movies starting in the 1950s and continuing until now.

The Blythe doll was released in 1972; I wonder if that accounts for a little popularity surge, or if it was heading there already?

Blythe Danner began her career in the 1960s/1970s. That could also account for increased familiarity with the name, and increased usage.

Blythe could be a surname name, because of Gilbert; that’s not how I think of it, but I could picture someone with a surname-name style choosing it that way. I guess I think of it (apparently incorrectly, according to the usage info) as a sophisticated, non-frilly name that’s almost old enough to come back, along with names such as Edith and Ethel and Ida. But I had a lot of trouble picking the examples I just used: I don’t seem to have any other names in the same category as Blythe. I think of The Golden Girls, probably because of Blanche (another one-syllable Bl- name)—so perhaps some good example names would be Bea, Betty, Rue, and Estelle, along with Blanche and Dorothy? (Sophia and Rose are too currently popular.)

Blythe is also a word name, and word names can be particularly difficult to put in a style category.

Well! What does everyone else think? What style is Blythe? What kind of sibling names would you put it with?

Update (and photo) on Baby Naming Issue: The Etiquette of Using a Name a Friend Already Used

Second name update on Baby Naming Issue: When and How To Break the News That the Other Parent’s Favorite Name Isn’t Going To Be the One

Hi Swistle,

We are expecting our third girl just after Christmas. I’m 95% sure we are going to call her Freya. Her sisters are Amelia Mae and Linnea Claire. (My 5% reservation with the name Freya is having three girls with names ending in “a”. Thoughts?) We are having a hard time coming up with middle names that sound good with Freya, our last name, and that we can agree on.

Our last name is 2 syllables and the first part sounds like “road” so any “R” names are out, especially names that start with “Ro”.

My husband does not want a middle name that starts with a vowel because he doesn’t think it flows with Freya. He also doesn’t want a middle name that starts with “C” or “K” because he thinks the initials FCR or FKR looks like the initials for a curse word…… that’s unfortunate because I like Catherine, Charlotte, and Kate for MN options.

I lean towards more traditional/classic middle names. I prefer feminine names, but may consider a gender neutral name for the middle name. We don’t have any family names or family members we plan on honoring. We just want something we like and sounds nice together. Some names we’ve considered:

Freya Jean- My husband’s favorite. I liked it initially until I googled it and there is a company that sells Freya jeans. One of my best friends also recently used Jeanne as a middle name. Another similar option is Jane but a family member chose that for a middle name last year. There is also June, but I don’t know about June. Plus, we already have a Mae as a middle name, so I don’t want a monthly theme.

Freya Madeline- We both like it, but not sure if it’s too long/hard to say. We’re just not sold.

Freya Elise- I love the name Elise. My husband doesn’t like it because it starts with a vowel. Elise is also my runner up first name if we decided against Freya.

Freya Louise- I think this is a cute combo. My husband doesn’t love it.

Freya Belle- I think this is another cute combo. My husband doesn’t like it because of Beauty and the Beast.

Freya Isabelle- Another one I like that my husband doesn’t. Grumble.

Other names we’ve decided against are: Beth, Violet, Marie, Noelle, Evelyn, Olivia, Grace, Cecelia, Joy, Hope, and Lillian. My middle name is Elizabeth so I’d avoid that as well.

Anyways, if you have any thoughts on our above options or if you think of other names that fit our criteria I’d appreciate it. Thanks for your help!

Kristen

I think three names ending in -a is fine, especially since you have four syllables, then three syllables, then two: it keeps the endings from standing out. I am more concerned with a pronunciation issue: do Linnea and Freya rhyme? I’ve been saying them linn-NAY-ah and FRAY-ah. I looked it up online (my only sources were a friend in college named Linnea and a memory of looking up Freya before), and found that Linnea can also be something more like LINN-nyah or LINN-nee-ah or even linn-NAY.

I like Freya Jean and have never heard of Freya jeans. Though now it is making me think of frayed jeans. I think a friend using Jeanne as a middle name is a non-issue. I think a family member using Jane as a middle name is a non-issue. I think Mae and June as middle names for sisters is another non-issue.

Freya Madeline seems great to me, not at all too long or difficult to say. I find it pleasing to say.

I have a harder time saying Freya Elise, but not very much harder. If your family doesn’t tend to say the first/middle combo aloud on a regular basis, then this sort of issue matters much less.

I agree with you on Freya Louise: my mom and I think Louise is one of the best middle names for saying aloud.

Well, let’s see if we can find more options:

Freya Briella
Freya Brynn
Freya Faith
Freya Genevieve
Freya Jade
Freya Joelle
Freya Josephine
Freya Lark
Freya Marina
Freya Maxine
Freya Melody
Freya Meredith
Freya Paige
Freya Pearl
Freya Penelope
Freya Ruth
Freya Sabrina
Freya Tess
Freya Victoria

I hope you will not be annoyed that I sneaked Ruth in there, against the no-R rule.

But I vote for Freya Madeline. You both like it, and I think it sounds great.