Update on Baby Girl Walker, Sister to Eleanor

I am expecting a baby boy in June as a solo mom by choice and I live in the US. This puts me in the (potentially) enviable position of having full control over the baby’s name but all of the pressure, as well.

The most complicated factor is that I find my last name a bit tricky. It rhymes with Weary but begins with an L, not a W. I tend to find that rules out most, if not all, names beginning with an L and/or containing an L. Alliteration can be commanding, but a double L just feels hard to say.

As my own first name is rather long and formal, I’ve gone by a nickname almost my entire life. This actually steers me away from repeating the same pattern. I’d prefer a short and classic (but not overly popular) name. This baby will most likely be my only child, so I am not concerned with how the name could potentially go with a sibling’s name.

Girl Names I love:
Jane
Joan
Maya
Hannah
Maeve
Nora

Boy Names I like, but am not 100% sold on:
Finn
Max
Dylan (but does it work with my last name?)
Nolan (same as above)
Everett
Barrett (but I despise Barry)

Boy names I like, but can’t use:
Daniel
Jack
John
James
Jude
Mateo/Matthew
Luke/Luca/Luka

Thank you so much for your consideration!

Meg

I think Dylan and Nolan both work with the surname; I find Nolan a little harder to say with the surname, but not in a way that would rule it out.

I don’t think people will be inclined to use the nickname Barry for a Barrett, though it will depend on things such as your own particular circle, and on how naming trends develop: I have been seeing what looks like a return to Old School Nicknames (Marty and Mickey, to use two examples from my own circle), and it will be interesting to see if that grows/spreads or not.

On another post, commenter R mentioned that the name Barrett has been ruined by politics, and it took me a beat to remember the connection to the Supreme Court Justice—but, once I did, it was hard to forget. It is not the sort of connection I think has to ruin the name overall (that is, if I encountered the name Barrett on a baby, I would not think the name had been given as a political statement), but it definitely falls into the category of being the sort of thing I like to think of ahead of time.

My own hands-down favorite from your list is Everett. I think it’s great with the surname. And although I don’t normally put the child’s name with the parent’s name, and in fact discourage parents from doing so, I am breaking my own rule to say I like it with YOUR name, both with what I presume to be the full name and also with the nickname. Not as if it were a sibling set, which is what I object to when parents seem to be doing that, but just as a family. Margaret and Everett! Meg and Everett! Very pleasing combinations, both of them.

When I look at the names you like but are not 100% sold on, I see surname names and short snappy names. But when I look at the list of names you like but can’t use, I see more classic/traditional names, plus the short snappy names. I’m going to make a list that includes all three of those those categories, but also I’m going to include names that DO have nicknames, but to less of a degree than your own name: it feels to me like there’s a difference between Margaret/Meg and, say, Calvin-with-the-possibility-of-Cal.

Adam
Beckett
Bennett
Calvin
Dane
Dean
Declan
Drew
Elliot
Ezra
George
Grant
Griffin
Ian
Kellan
Malcolm
Merritt
Micah
Oliver
Quinn
Reid
Simon
Warren
Wilson

I went back and forth on possibilities such as Dean and Reid: are those smashing with the surname, or is the repeated vowel sound Too Much?

Especially since this will be your only child and you have full naming control, I wondered if you might like to look at your family tree for a name or surname to use as the first name; I’d look especially at the side of the family that didn’t contribute your own surname. Or this would be the perfect opportunity for any other honor name: an artist, a poet, an author, a scientist, or, yes, a politician.

Hi there!

My name is Alexa! I am due in March with baby boy #2. My last name is Lynch. We had (and lost) a micropreemie in 2021 named Natalie Marlena. It was still so early, and we didn’t know what we were having—so we had both boy and girl names brainstormed. When I woke up in the SICU, I told my husband this name with 100% conviction. Just one of those weird gut things, I guess? I can’t say for sure this baby will be our last child, but based on my high-risk pregnancies, it is likely.

Our first son was born in 2022 and his name, Thomas (Alexander), floated around on our lists for a while—first as a middle name, but we committed to the name about a month before he was born. We call him Thomas, and my approach to nicknames is that they must be OK’d by the bearer and/or develop naturally. (Also, how hard is it to say ‘Thomas’ instead of Tom or Tommy?!) Alexander is homage to me, Alexa. My husband’s name is Donovan. Neither of us go by nicknames, and my husband has grown out of his childhood family nickname.

Our main challenge is that my husband is one of nine children, and I have three sisters with six children of their own. We both come from large families beyond that. I tell folks that I’ve probably heard all the names before, or we know someone, etc. I tend to dislike the most popular or trendy names. I guess Thomas is “old-school popular” to me. (Side note, husband has two siblings that are “juniors” of dad AND mom already!)

I was stuck on Alden for our first son before switching to Thomas. I liked how it was a sort-of mashup with Alexa and Donovan, but my husband has been repeatedly “meh” on it. Desmond was our first frontrunner with this baby—my husband has always loved the name and after a friend used it in 2017, we tabled it for our first son. I like how uncommon it is, but I can’t get over the fact that it was already used by a former friend. It passes the vibe check, but I don’t love it.

Right now the leading name is Tristan, but I think it’s weirdly alliterative with Thomas already. We like Matthias as a middle name, similar to husband’s middle name (Matthew). There are 25+ names on the veto list, and I think I’m getting overwhelmed.

As I read back through your blog, I’m interested in your perspective! Each post I read has names with merits, or that I can reconsider in the right light. Either way, I think I need a fresh take. Thank you so much!

I am inclined to look for another old-school popular name, like Thomas: a name that FEELS common, and yet there aren’t many in the classrooms. A name that, the last time it was common, every single person with that name went by the standard nicknames, leaving the full name feeling fresh and unexpected.

Andrew
Daniel
James
Joseph
Joshua
Martin
Matthew
Nathan
Patrick
Peter
Philip
Stephen

I am particularly drawn to Daniel and Stephen: I have known numerous of each, all of whom went by Dan and Steve, none of whom went by Daniel and Stephen. I don’t know if the -l/L- of Daniel is an issue at all; I didn’t notice it until I started to make my usual little sounding-it-out arrangement: Daniel Lynch; Thomas and Daniel. Stephen Lynch; Thomas and Stephen. Other possible sound issues: if Andrew DID go by Drew, does Drew Lynch sound like drool inch? if Philip DID go by Phil, do we have an -l/L- issue?

These don’t fall into my “old-school popular, all of them went by a nickname last time around” category, but I also suggest:

Adam
Calvin
Elliot
Emmett
Ethan
George
Gideon
Jeremy
Owen
Simon

I realize I may have just listed 20+ names straight from the veto list. And certainly none of these will be new to you. But for a sibling group including Natalie and Thomas, I am looking for something more along the lines of “SURPRISINGLY fresh” (i.e., the name John doesn’t seem as if it would have any freshness left after generations of use—until you encounter it on a kindergartner) as opposed to something new and exciting that would be a jolting change of style. I suspect what is needed is not for a name to stand up and slap you, but rather for a name to grow on you sneakily, until you realize you have been thinking of the name warmly and affectionately and now wish to squeeze a baby with that name.

How did the name Thomas change from a name knocking around as a possible middle name to a name you wanted to squeeze on a baby? Do you remember how it went from “Sure, pretty good name” to being THE NAME? I think it’s very likely something similar will happen this time around.

Finding the right middle name may help: sometimes hearing the full three-name combination brings a name from “Sure, pretty good name” to “YES.” (Watch the initials: one wouldn’t want to accidentally name a Franklin Matthias Lynch.)

Calvin Matthias Lynch
Daniel Alden Lynch
Elliot Alden Lynch
George Matthias Lynch
James Alden Lynch
Joseph Tristan Lynch
Martin Matthias Lynch
Peter Tristan Lynch
Philip Desmond Lynch
Stephen Desmond Lynch

So hopeful to get your thoughts on our naming roundabout! I love reading your posts so much and know that you would provide some much needed insight for us.

We are expecting a little boy in the spring! We are so excited to welcome him, but fear he will leave the hospital nameless and be known as “baby boy Mouslie” (with an H) forever. We have one little girl named M@ry Gr@ce, but we primarily call her Gr@ce. M@ry is an honor name, and we love both the combo and the nickname and just everything about it. Boys names are proving to be so much harder! Which is confusing for me since I am a self-proclaimed naming guru since childhood. I guess it is different with your own child?? Either that or I’ve lost my touch. Or, it is the fact that I actually have to agree with another person on a name instead of coming up with one on my own. That does make a decision a bit more difficult!

My husband has two and only two names that he loves: Sawyer and Sh3pherd. I quite like Sh3pherd too actually but I’m not brave enough to use it as a first name. We are religious but it feels like it could be almost sacrilegious to me if that makes sense?? I think I might be thinking too much about it. We love the nickname “Sh3p” as well. Here are a few names I love that he doesn’t: Jude, Curren, Ansel, Graham, James, Abel, Samuel. We both say we like softer sounding names. I think we should be going with something more classical to match our daughter’s name. Hmm… soft and classic, sounds easy, but we are just so picky! We’ve come down to two final contenders (for this week anyway…ha). The0dore Sh3pherd and Augu$t Ev3rett. We both like them enough to use either of them I think. Augu$t has always been top of our lists, but just not sure we like it as much as we used to anymore. Don’t like any nicknames for it- but not sure we can force it to be the name he is called by forever. Same with The0dore- I love the full name so much and would call baby boy by that exclusively, but he only likes this combo if he’s called Teddy or Sh3p. Neither of us are very fond of Th3o. I would be ok with using the full name and primarily calling him Sh3p, but I feel like we already did the middle name nickname thing with one kid and it would be confusing to do it again. Or would it??

We would love love love advice! We are also not closed to suggestions though I’m pretty sure we have combed through every name in the universe by now. But I am all about seeing something in a new light if there’s something that hits you like a bolt that you think would work here!

Thank you thank you thank you and I promise to update once a decision has been made.

Oh, I FULLY agree: the secondary problem is applying the name hobby to an actual child, and the PRIMARY problem FOR SURE is having to cooperate on the name with another entire human—sometimes a human who has not put in ANYWHERE NEAR the years of time and effort. Well, and also: having to work with the particular surname. All of these things factor in. It’s  a wonder any of us manage to choose a name at all, but PARTICULARLY those of us who CARE about names! My mother-in-law, whose baby-naming technique was to use for each baby the first name that came to her mind, plus a middle name that made a pleasant mild bridge between first and last, was probably overall a happier and more content baby-namer than those of us who struggle. (Nevertheless I firmly believe our way is superior.)

I grew up very religious, so I will weigh in on the Sh3pherd issue with my one data point. I would say that on its own, or with a sibling name such as Hadley or Morgan, the name Sh3pherd does not make me think of anything religious: it feels like a surname/occupational name, and I too love the nickname Sh3p. But: as soon as the name is combined with the name of any other cast member from a Nativity play, I’m afraid the association is rather strong for me. M@ry and Sh3pherd doesn’t sound so much sacrilegious as imbalanced: why is one child a lead, and the other generic supporting cast? Even combined with Gr@ce, Sh3pherd gives me the feeling of a THEME, though perhaps only when I’m primed by thinking of M@ry and Sh3pherd first. I do think it’s fine as a middle name.

While I am dishing out opinions, I will say that I think once you’ve done one “kid going primarily by middle name,” it’s easier to do a second one: you’ve already gone through the training process with your entire extended circle, and now they are familiar with the concept. But “kid going by nickname of middle name” feels a little harder to sell: at that point, I start to wonder if the name shouldn’t be sent back for more workshopping.

You don’t have another classic/traditional honor name you’d like to use, similar to M@ry? A dear Thomas or Peter or Stephen in the family tree? And then perhaps with a classic-yet-contemporary one-syllable-and/or-low-nickname-possibility middle name, which you’d call him? I’m wondering if leaning into a more fully parallel name would help here.

Andrew George Mouslie-with-an-H; M@ry Gr@ce and Andrew George; Gr@ce and George
James Louis Mouslie-with-an-H; M@ry Gr@ce and James Louis; Gr@ce and Louis
John Nolan Mouslie-with-an-H; M@ry Gr@ce and John Nolan; Gr@ce and Nolan
Paul Emmett Mouslie-with-an-H; M@ry Gr@ce and Paul Emmett; Gr@ce and Emmett
Simon Henry Mouslie-with-an-H; M@ry Gr@ce and Simon Henry; Gr@ce and Henry
Stephen Miles Mouslie-with-an-H; M@ry Gr@ce and Stephen Miles; Gr@ce and Miles
Thomas Elliot Mouslie-with-an-H; M@ry Gr@ce and Thomas Elliot; Gr@ce and Elliot

Or of course I would suggest any of those middles as firsts instead, if you don’t have (or decide not to use) another honor first-name. I’m going to go ahead and put them in their own list:

Elliot
Emmett
George
Henry
Louis
Miles
Nolan

Paul in particular stands out to me. Soft but solid/strong, classic, warm. Paul Mouslie-with-an-H; Gr@ce and Paul. Paul Sh3pherd, Paul Ev3rett.

I agree that it can be risky to use names if you dislike the nicknames. It’s definitely easier to go by the full name than it used to be, but it’s impossible to know what the child themselves will prefer. I don’t know if it helps, but we’ve had a number of commenters mention that they were very opposed to a nickname until their child started going by that nickname, at which point they did a complete 180 on the issue and can hardly remember what they didn’t like about the nickname. On the other hand, I had a co-worker Liz whose parents had wanted her to be Elizabeth/Beth and truly disliked the nickname Liz, and it had been ten years since the nickname change and Liz said her parents still weren’t happy about it. So I suppose it depends on the particular parents/child/nickname, and I suppose most of the time it’s not knowable in advance.

I think an Augu$t might end up going by Gus, and so it would be good to contemplate ahead of time how you feel about Gr@ce and Gus; it’s a lot of one-syllable G- and S-sounds.

I like Ev3rett as a first name here. It goes nicely with M@ry, M@ry Gr@ce, and Gr@ce.

Hello Swistle! I’ve read your blog for a long time and am so excited to finally be able to write. We’re expecting a baby girl in spring, our first, and all the possibilities have me feeling somewhat deer-in-the-headlights. Our last name starts with a V and is Greek. My taste runs towards simple, classic girl names, generally on the shorter side.

I adore the name Lucy, called Lulu, but my 4-year-old niece is frequently called Lulu, among other nicknames. The actual name is very different (think, like, Niloufar nn Lulu) but we live close to my SIL and plan for the cousins to spend a lot of time together. Would it be cute to have two Lulus? Or would it be confusing, or will SIL feel like I’m stealing an aspect of her name?

Here are the other names on our shortlist:
Molly (feels a teensy bit more nickname than name, but husband doesn’t like Mary and other long forms seem too contrived.)
Iris (initials would be IV so we could call her Ivy. Or are IV initials a problem? I don’t feel like there’s much potential for teasing there: ha ha, you’re named after a…universal medical device…? Wow, your parents must really like the number four?)
Frances (nn Frankie/Cissy)
Adela (husband’s frontrunner. I like it but am not jazzed by any of the nicknames.)
Virginia (nn Ginny)

Names I like but can’t use:

Vera (sounds a bit like Mila Miller with the surname. I actually sort of like the combo, but wouldn’t want to do it to a child)
Anne/Annie (husband thinks it’s too plain)
Esme (pronounced es-may. I love it but don’t like the Twilight connection, and can’t quite bring myself to hand her a lifetime of correcting spelling/pronunciation)
Faye (husband thinks it’s too short)
Charlotte (adore the nickname Lottie, and it’s a total “I liked them before they were famous!” situation, but now that the name is so popular it’s a definite turn-off)
Blythe (husband thinks it sounds too religious, despite that…not really being a thing? I guess he associates it with virtue names like Faith and Mercy)

If we had a boy, his name would probably be Benjamin (Benji) or Miles.

For the middle name, we were thinking either his mother’s name (Eirini) or my mother’s name (Colleen). Since the Greek tradition is to name babies after their grandparents, I like the little tie-in to his heritage. But I also love the name May and think it would make a cute middle if she ends up being born in May (due date is right on the borderline). Or Bellamy? It was my great-grandmother’s maiden name, and I will shamelessly admit to having zero attachment to this great-grandmother (or even, you know, ever having seen a photo of her) but loving the name. Iris Bellamy. Lucy Bellamy. I’m also tempted to go fully self-indulgent and give her something totally out there like Odyssey or Snow, since middle names come up so infrequently anyway.

I’ve thought about names for so long, but now that I’m faced with naming an actual baby, nothing seems to just click! I’d love some suggestions and input from you and your readers.

Thanks so much,
Sam

It is hard to know how your sister-in-law would feel about you duplicating the nickname. Some people have an attitude of “The more the merrier!” when it comes to their children’s names, and others use words such as “copying” and “stealing.” If your sister-in-law is married to one of your siblings, I would start by consulting with that sibling; if instead she is your husband’s sister, I would start by consulting with him, and perhaps asking him to consult with her. Well, but with this caveat: if you ask, then I think you should go with what the sister-in-law says. That is, one possible route is to NOT consult with her, and to go ahead and use Lucy/Lulu, and chance the consequences; but if you go the route of asking her ahead of time, and she says it would bother her, then I think using the name anyway would cause a huge issue.

Another option, if you plan to have more children, is to save the name Lucy/Lulu for a future child: a bigger age gap can make it a lesser issue. Also, it gives you another, less-pressurey way to ask: you can say, after the first baby is born and named, “One of the names we were considering was Lucy/Lulu,” and see how the sister-in-law reacts. Relief? Disappointment? Give her some time to get used to the idea, and then perhaps bring it up again and see what she says.

I think at this point Molly is a stand-alone non-nickname given name: we have done posts here where we have discovered that even among name enthusiasts, a large number of people are unaware of the Mary/Molly/Polly connection—or they are aware of it, but they don’t expect to encounter it anymore. I am in that latter group: I know Molly and Polly were once nicknames for Mary, but if I encounter a Molly or a Polly, I assume it’s the given name and not a nickname for Mary. Because it appeals to you to do something alliterative such as Vera V., but you don’t necessarily want to assume a child would find it as appealing, I wonder if you would like to alliterate the first and middle? Something like Molly May V., or Molly Bellamy V.

You have seen me mention this many times before, and now it is your turn to have it mentioned to you: I suggest thinking ahead to future sibling-name combinations. Molly and Lulu would be a lot of L sounds. Cissy and Lucy would be a lot of C/S/Y sounds. Iris and Frances both end in -s; would that be okay, or would you want to choose only one or the other? Would using Ginny rule out a later Benji? Adela is quite a different style than Lucy and Molly and Ginny, though I think it goes nicely with Iris. Which seems more like your kids: Adela and Iris, or Lucy and Molly? I see a fair number of nickname options in your list; would it bother you to have some kids with names/nicknames and some with only names, or is that a non-issue? How do you feel about repeated initials? Would using Molly rule out using Miles later?

From context I am making the assumption that the children will be receiving their father’s family surname. If that is the case, and if you decide to also follow the Greek tradition of using grandparent names (in this case, as middles), I strongly urge you to use YOUR parents’ names, to help balance the name a little. Father’s surname + father’s cultural naming traditions + father’s parents’ names is severely weighted toward the father’s side. If you DID decide to use husband’s surname + husband’s cultural naming traditions + husband’s parents’ names, I would expect nothing less than for you to get 100% full say on the first name, up to and including choosing a name your husband was meh about—and even then, it would not be anything like a fair division.

Another option would be to use various family surnames from your side as middle names: Bellamy, yes, and your own family surname if that would work nicely, and any other family surnames you like. FILL the birth certificates of all your children with representatives from your family tree! Make it so the one repeated family surname from your husband’s side feels SKIMPY!

Okay, let’s look at first names! I like Molly, especially if you are thinking Lucy and Ginny and Frankie. That’s a spirited bunch. I would add Polly as another to consider. If the name I see in your email address is your own family name, I lovvvvvvvve the idea of it as the middle name with Polly. Absolutely smashing. But it would also work nicely as a middle for a future Miles or Benjamin.

I also like Amalia with the nickname Molly, and wonder if Amalia would be similar to Adela for your husband. Though I think for me, having to keep explaining that it’s Amalia not Amelia would be more than I would want to take on.

I think I.V. initials are fine; it does seem difficult to find an inroad for teasing. I am in fact drawn to the idea of naming her Ivy and her initials would be I.V.; that has a charming little flair to it. I think I would enjoy the fun of that, if it were my name; it gives me a fizzy happy feeling. The name Iris is already so similar to Ivy (long-I, two syllables, blatantly botanical) that it feels confusing to use the nickname Ivy with it.

Frances/Frankie is adorable, I think, and I like that she has good nickname options depending on what sort of person she feels herself to be: she can go with Frannie, Frankie, Frank, Cissy, or she could even punch it up and go by Francesca.

I have loved the name Ginny ever since reading a book in elementary school with a protagonist named Ginny. I wonder if the given name Virginia would still lead to teasing at this point in the timeline. DO people still go tee-hee over the word virgin, or are we past that? And then there is that silly catchy Billy Joel song that still plays pretty regularly on the radio. I wonder if you would like Genevieve or Geneva or Imogen.

Adela stops me in part because I am unsure of the pronunciation/emphasis. Is it like the singer Adele, but with an -ah added to the end, like ah-DELL-ah? I suppose it must be: it’s not likely to be, say, ADDLE-ah or addle-LAH. Okay, I can picture it now: sort of the rhythm of Isabella, but without the Is-, and with a D instead of the B. Yes, that’s nice. I think my main concern is the absolute mountain of Addies currently on the market. This is going to vary regionally, of course, so it may not pertain to your area, but in our school system we have so many Addies and Maddies that they can’t even use surname initials (too many repeats) and are instead known as, for example, Art Maddie, Green Addie, Maddie-who-dates-Ellie, Maddie-who-dates-Aidan, Theater Addie, my-friend-Melissa’s-Maddie, etc. Would it work to use the nickname Della, or is that too large a percentage of the original name?

This makes me think of Delia and Dahlia as possible options. I encountered a Delia in the wild and it made a very pleasing impression. Her mom at one point called her “Deels,” which isn’t the kind of nickname you’d write on a homework paper, but sounded very cute when said aloud.

If you enjoy some alliteration but Vera is too much of it with the surname, I wonder if you would like other V names. Violet/Lettie (similar to the Lottie you liked with Charlotte), Vivian/Vivi. Verity probably isn’t going to fly if your husband doesn’t like virtue names; I love Victoria and Veronica but I’m not keen on the nicknames.

If you like Anne/Annie but they’re too plain for your husband, there are SO MANY delightful longer forms that can then be nicknamed Anne/Annie. Annabel, of course—that’s one of my own top favorites; for awhile it looked as if it were going to gets super common, but then it backed off. I wonder if Annabel would be a nice combination of Adela and Anne/Annie? Or Annika. Annalise/Anneliese. Gianna. Liana. Lillian/Lilianne/Lilyanna. Hey: what about Lilianne, nicknames Lili and Annie? Lili is similar to Lulu but doesn’t step on toes.

I wonder if you would like other names with the -oo- sound of Lucy/Lulu. Julia/Jules. Juliet/Jules. Ruth/Ruthie/Rudy. At some point, Gertrude/Trudy is going to come back; is it getting to be time? Same with Judith, maybe with the nickname Jude instead of Judy this time around. Susanna/Annie. June/Junie. Juniper/Junie. Ruby, but no nicknames come to mind; maybe it would work to combine it with the middle name to make a nickname, like Ruby Bell.

While looking for more like Lucy/Lulu, I found Mabel. It feels like it combines May and Adela, and has some of the feel of Lulu.

I do sometimes wish I’d gone more Odyssey/Snow for my kids’ middle names. I didn’t have the nerve at the time. When I reconsider it now, I still prefer the names we chose, so I guess what I slightly regret is that I didn’t prefer the more whimsical/fun options. When my kids were younger, we were friends with a family whose kids had middle names that were very similar to Sparkle, Galaxy, and Flower, and I spent some time wishing I’d had more FUN with our kids’ names.

Every so often, I like to revisit the topic of baby names that got away. In the time since we last talked about it, some of us will have moved from the baby-naming stage of life to the stage after that; some of us will have changed our lists; some of us will have had a fresh experience of trying to name a baby and finding we couldn’t use a name we wanted to use.

I find I don’t PINE the way I used to. I remember folding laundry and actually weeping because I’d missed the chance to name a baby Anastasia. That sort of thing doesn’t happen anymore. Now it’s more as if I am rooting for my favorites to succeed elsewhere: someone PLEASE name a baby Millicent! Winifred! George! Frederick! Alfred!

I do have secret hopes that some of my favorites will be used for grandchildren—and I hasten to say that I will not be PUSHING or even SUGGESTING the names, I just mean it would be fun if it happened to work out that way. But I know from long observed experience that in general the grandparents DO NOT see their favorites used on the grandchildren, and in fact grandchild-names tend to offer the grandparents an opportunity to practice mindful acceptance: the generation gap is difficult for names to transcend. My parents winced a little (though with awareness and acceptance) at the name Henry, a name that to them was not only elderly but nerdy, everyone’s scrawny great-uncle Henry with the liver spots and ear hair. I remember my mother-in-law suggesting names such as Dawn and Cherish: absolutely appropriate for the time when she herself was having babies, but no longer the right thing for the next generation.

Well. What are the names you are currently weeping into the laundry about / rooting for others to use?

Update (and photo) on Baby Boy Gates, Brother to Walter

Dear Swistle,

We are currently pregnant with our third child, due in spring. We’re waiting to be surprised with the sex of the baby.

Your readers helped us out tremendously about 3 years ago naming our first baby. You introduced me to the concept of sibling sets—trying to name your kids with their whole sibling set in mind and aiming (hoping!) for them to all flow well together. Now that our third (and likely final) baby is coming, we need some naming help once again!

We have a very short list of names that we are intrigued by for each gender, which I’ll share below. But what we really want are some fresh name ideas that flow with our sibling set. We’re simply bored with all the lists floating out there and feeling generally uninspired.

This baby will be joining older sisters Savannah and Hadley. Our last name is the Peanuts character who plays the piano.

Boy names we like:
– Wells
– Theodore (Too popular?)
– End of list. Help.

Girl names we like:
– Penelope (nickname Nell/Nellie)
– Eloise/Louise (my husband isn’t the biggest fan of these but trying to give you a sense of where my head is at!)
– June

One sibling set I saw mentioned (here, maybe?) a while ago that lit me up: Edward (Teddy), Eloise (Ellie), Philippa (Pippa), and Harriet (Hattie). I mean, get out of town! So good!

Hoping you and your readers can help us customize a fresh new list to complete this sibling set!

The similarity of Theodore to your surname is catching my attention more than the popularity. Both start with an -h consonant blend; both have the E and O and R in the middle; both end in -der/-dore. It feels like too much to me. But this is the sort of thing where, when I am concentrating on it too much, I find it useful to leaf through a yearbook: so many names I would have thought were too much if they appeared as candidates on this blog, and they didn’t register that way with me when they were used on actual people! I heard those names at graduation and didn’t say boo to a goose!

Theodore is Top Ten, as of 2021, according to the Social Security Administration. Somewhere I have a post I wrote defending/encouraging the use of Top Ten names, and I stand by that; but I do think it is best to go in KNOWING it is a Top Ten name. I think Theodore sounds great with Savannah and Hadley.

I like your description of hearing a sibling set that lit you up, and I wondered what would come to mind if I imagined encountering a sibling set of Savannah, Hadley, and ______. What would give me that zing? For me, the name June would do it: Savannah, Hadley, and June.

I wondered, if you like the repeating sounds of names such as Theodore, if you might also like Claudia. I like the way it shuffles some sounds from both sibling names plus the surname, but also has some sounds all its own. Savannah, Hadley, and Claudia. I find I want to say the names together again and again, relishing the way Savannah and Claudia both have three syllables and end in -ah/-a, but Hadley and Claudia share the L and D and long-E sounds.

Similarly: Cassidy. I just went and looked it up to see what its popularity path has been like (I felt as if I had last heard about it a couple of decades ago, and yet for some reason it wasn’t striking me as dated), and it looks like it had a little surge after Kathie Lee Gifford named her daughter Cassidy, but then the usage drifted gradually back down. It’s in that pleasing familiar-but-uncommon range. Savannah, Hadley, and Cassidy.

Belinda? I heard this recently and found it utterly charming, and fun to say, which is also how I feel about the name Penelope. Savannah, Hadley, and Belinda.

Delia, or Dahlia. Savannah, Hadley, and Delia. Savannah, Hadley, and Dahlia.

Long-time readers are just WAITING for me to see Eloise/Louise on your list (I love both of those names) and mention the name that comes to my mind like a reflex: Eliza. Savannah, Hadley, and Eliza.

Or Estelle. Savannah, Hadley, and Estelle.

Bianca. Savannah, Hadley, and Bianca.

Would you want to launch out into something like Clementine? I considered that name fabulous except for a lack of nickname options, until someone mentioned they use the nickname Minnie. Savannah, Hadley, and Clementine; Savannah, Hadley, and Minnie.

I see I have launched from Theodore into girl names and only girl names. Let’s fix that.

Elliot. This is a name of my heart, but Paul and I could not agree on a spelling (I’d be okay with adding a second T, but Paul wanted Eliot). I mention it particularly because of Ellie and Harriet in the sibling group you liked. Also, I like it with your surname. Savannah, Hadley, and Elliot.

Frederick. Brings in some repeating sounds, like Theodore does. Savannah, Hadley, and Frederick.

Gideon. I know you never said anything about wanting repeating sounds and here I go with one name after another, but I seem to have gotten on a tear. Savannah, Hadley, and Gideon.

Franklin. Savannah, Hadley, and Franklin.

Edmund. Savannah, Hadley, and Edmund.

Edward/Teddy, from the Lit List. Savannah, Hadley, and Edward; Savannah, Hadley, and Teddy.

Calvin. Savannah, Hadley, and Calvin.

Malcolm. Savannah, Hadley, and Malcolm.

Emmett. Savannah, Hadley, and Emmett.

Miles. Savannah, Hadley, and Miles.

This is where I clicked the link at the top and went back and looked at your first letter from a few years ago. I see that back then you were thinking of Macklin or Macallister, nickname Mac, but felt it worked better for a second or third child. IS THIS PERHAPS THE MOMENT?? Savannah, Hadley, and Mac.

Similar possibilities: Declan, Cormac, Isaac, Caleb, Malcolm, Kieran, Lachlan, Merritt.

Sixteen-year-old Henry was around, and chatty, so I asked his opinion. He suggests Elijah. Savannah, Hadley, and Elijah. He is also very in favor of Wells. And he mentions Weston, which he likes with the surname, and he likes the nickname options Wes and West. He says he would like to see Stephen/Steven being used again for babies, but I was not sure it works in this sibling set: repeats a first initial AND the V sound of Savannah, and also feels like a different style. He likes Lane with the surname, for either a boy or a girl.

Update (and photo) on Baby Girl or Boy Cornmeal-without-the-M, Sibling to Ewan

Hi Swistle! My wife, Shannon, and I just discovered your blog looking around for baby names and we’re really hoping you can help us. My name is Lauren, our last name is Hayes, and we have two older daughters, Madrigal Kathryn (often goes by Mads) and Clementine Vivian (often goes by Clem). Their middle names are our moms names. Neither of us have other family names we feel strongly about using, but a few we are kicking around honoring various family/friends are

Margaret
Paloma
Noelle
Cassidy
Julia
Rory
Hannah
Louise

But those are just middle names we are considering! The big problem is first names. And oh yeah, we need THREE first names- I am pregnant with triplet girls, due in eight weeks (yikes!) basically the only decision we’ve made is that we want all their names to start with a vowel- this seems like the level of matchiness we want. (And different letters, we def want each kid to have their own letter). As for style….well, looking at Madrigal and Clementine, I’m not totally sure how to pin it down…..eclectic, quirky, vaguely nature-ish? Here is what we have come up with so far:

Everly
Ariadne
Ottilie
Acacia
Arwen
Elowen
Azalea
Elysande
Ione
Indigo
Idabel

Can you (and your commenters!) maybe pick this bunch of disparate info into three coherent names that somehow fit together with each other and with Mads and Clem? We would love other name suggestions too!

Thank you so so so much!

Three different vowels is perhaps a bigger challenge than you want when dealing with the already enormous challenge of naming triplets. I wonder if you’d consider, at least to begin with, ditching ALL preferences for matchiness, and waiting to see if matchiness occurs naturally? That is, perhaps if you look at names starting with any letter, you’ll find that your three favorites all have six letters, or all have a double letter, or all have a long-O sound. That is where I would begin, if I were you: eliminate all unnecessary restrictions, and give yourselves a much longer and more flexible list to work with.

I will also suggest a technique I found useful when naming twins: I pretended they were arriving individually. That is, I imagined Baby A, and pretended that she was my third baby and a singleton; then I imagined Baby B born two or three years later, another singleton; what would I name them THEN?

Well. Working from the lists you’ve provided, and working within your current preferences because that does make a fun game, I will make a triplet set, and we will see what triplet sets the commenters make!

Ottilie, Elowen, and Ione

Ottilie Margaret Hayes
Elowen Louise Hayes
Ione Noelle Hayes

Madrigal, Clementine, Ottilie, Elowen, and Ione