Update on Baby Girl Radcliffe

Update (and photo) on Baby Girl Harding, Sister to Hannah, Holden, and Norah

Update (and photo) on Baby Boy or Girl B@rringt0n, Sibling to William and Edward

Good morning, Swistle!

We’re looking for some input on naming our second little boy, due in May 2021! Older brother is Finn Alden, last name is like Stuart. The middle name for this new baby boy will be Albert, which is an honor name from the husband’s side. This is our last baby! I love Finn because it feels sweet, it’s trendy but not “new” by any means. I’m usually fairly old fashioned in my name preferences, though. Below are our name finalists, though open to suggestions too!

Finalists:
Dax – short and feels trendy like Finn, but is it too trendy? It doesn’t have the history of the other names on the list. But we do like the sci-fi connections of both Finn and Dax, and the one-syllable-ness sounds good with the mn and ln to my ears.
Duncan – feels sweet like Finn; means “dark warrior” while Finn means “white, fair,” which could be a cute contrast (though Albert means “noble, bright”)
Newton – husband LOVES this name, but I can’t quite get there though it has the Harry Potter connection. Is it *too* odd? Does Finn & Newton sound too much like “Fig Newton”?
Jude – my mother’s name is Judy and Judith was always my top girl name pick. But Jude feels a little “cool” for a nerdy family? Also the mn choice Albert is already an honor name from my husband’s side.
Stanley – love the sound with our last name. Cute for a little one. Don’t know how it will age with him.

P.S. I would probably name the baby Gilbert (after Anne of Green Gables) if my husband didn’t HATE it.
Thanks so much!
Bethany

Normally I am in favor of using honor names unaltered. But I know not everyone feels the same about that, so I will mention that I notice that your favorite boy name, Gilbert, is similar to the honor name you’re planning to use from your husband’s side, Albert, and I wonder if some compromise could be reached there.

Speaking more generally, I recommend parents periodically check in on the balance of the names: not with the goal of careful score-keeping and exact equality (there are many legitimate reasons for things to be uneven), but just to see if there are places where one parent might agree that the other parent should have a little more say this time, which can make the naming decision easier overall. So for example, looking at the six names total for both children: Are the surnames from your husband’s side of the family? Is Alden an honor name, and if so, from which side of the family? Did either parent have more say in your first son’s first/middle name? And so on.

On to the names. I’m afraid I did go right to Fig Newton. I’m not saying it’s reasonable, I’m not denying that my brain is currently in a heightened state of election/pandemic-related anxiety that may be altering my sensitivity to such things; I am only saying that yes, when I said “Finn and Newton,” I immediately thought of Fig Newtons.

And it feels fair to me, too, that Newton and Gilbert would both be eliminated: when a naming decision is difficult, the names that get cut from the first round are the ones that are very high for one parent and very low for the other. In fact, have I talked about that naming exercise recently? Here it is: Each parent writes down all the names under joint consideration, in order of preference. It is fine to rank more than one name the same; for example, you might have a list that looks like this:

Gilbert 1
Duncan 2
Dax 2
Jude 3
Stanley 3
Newton 4

And maybe your husband’s list would look like this:

Newton 1
Dax 2
Jude 2
Duncan 2
Stanley 3
Gilbert 4

Looking at those two lists together, we can see that we won’t maximize joint happiness by using either Gilbert or Newton. (Those can be set aside as compromise material: perhaps one parent will agree to a particular first name if they can have their “this was never going to be the first name” choice as the middle name.) We can also see in this fake example that Stanley is a third-tier name for both parents, so it’s unlikely to be the winner when both parents have Dax and Duncan rated as second-tier choices. (I hate to do this to the name Stanley, even as a pretend thing!)

When I look at the list, two names stand out to me as being particularly good with Finn. One is Duncan, and the other is Jude. For me, the family connection of Jude is enough to tip it: I LOVE the idea of naming your son after your mother, and to me it’s a plus that it balances the honor middle name (and surname, if applicable) from your husband’s side. I do think the name Jude is a little cool, but (1) I also think the name Finn is a little cool and (2) I feel like the honor-name explanation really helps.

And I think the name Dax has even more of the “Is this a little too cool?” issue, plus it’s a little hard to say with the surname.

To go back to Duncan: I do think that works beautifully, too. Without an honor connection, I would be very torn between Duncan and Jude.

I like the name Stanley so much, I want you to use it and I don’t want to take it off the list—but to me it doesn’t fit as well with Finn. It feels like a generational jump and a style mismatch. I would use the name Stanley with brother names like Franklin or Warren.

Let’s see if we can find some more names to consider.

Callum; Finn and Callum
Dean; Finn and Dean
Declan; Finn and Declan
Eli; Finn and Eli
Henry; Finn and Henry
Keane; Finn and Keane
Keegan; Finn and Keegan
Leo; Finn and Leo
Milo; Finn and Milo
Perry; Finn and Perry
Reid; Finn and Reid
Shay; Finn and Shay
Teague; Finn and Teague
Wesley; Finn and Wesley

Update (and photo) on Baby Girl or Boy Lyberg-but-Starts-with-an-N, Sibling to Grant, William/Will, and Mae

Hi Swistle!

We just found out after two boys we are having a girl. This will be our last. My husband (J) and I do not have a lot of names we like that overlap. With my second son we only had two names out of everything that we could even somewhat agree on.

I feel like I have looked at every girl name and have trouble even finding anything I connect with. I had no problem making a list of 10+ boy names, but girls are tough. J usually only has a few suggestions and then will be the main person to pick the middle name.

I’m looking for something not overly feminine and more girl next door. We had Riley picked for the other two pregnancies, but it feels used now even though J still loves it.

My list:
Riley
Hazel (I might convince him of this)
Willow (he’s so so)
Darcy (he says no)
Kolby (he says this is cheese)

His list:
Riley
Lucy (not the worst not my favorite)

Last name is Bevans without the B.

Our boys are Finn and Sawyer.

Thank you!

K

I immediately wanted you to choose Thatcher, for Becky Thatcher, to go with the Tom Sawyer / Huck Finn theme. And actually, that’s pretty cute! Thatcher! But it may be more unusual than you’re looking for. Plus, since she’s the love interest rather than just the buddy-next-door, I guess I’d steer away from that for sibling names anyway.

Or I wish Caddie Woodlawn were named CALLIE Woodlawn, because Callie would be great for a girl-next-door name, and the literary connection would be fun. Well, I suggest it anyway: Finn, Sawyer, and Callie. It could be short for Caroline, making it a Laura Ingalls Wilder reference.

My definite favorite from your lists is Darcy: I think it has that girl-next-door sound, and goes great with the brother names; and I like how it gives you a new set of sounds (one of the downsides of Thatcher is that it repeats the ending of Sawyer). And it sounds similar to Lucy from your husband’s list! My hope is that you will be able to bring him around to Darcy: we get so many emails/follow-ups that are “My husband says absolutely not to Name”/”We used Name!”

Another name that comes to mind is Darby—sort of a blend of Darcy and Kolby. Finn, Sawyer, and Darby.

Or Shelby? Finn, Sawyer, and Shelby.

I wonder if you’d like Aubrey. Finn, Sawyer, and Aubrey.

Or Eliza, which is fun to say with the surname. Finn, Sawyer, and Eliza.

Or Maisy/Maisie. Finn, Sawyer, and Maisy/Maisie.

Or Lane. Finn, Sawyer, and Lane.

Or Casey would be cute, and shares sounds if not style with Lucy. Finn, Sawyer, and Casey.

Or Teagan. Finn, Sawyer, and Teagan.

Or Delaney! Finn, Sawyer, and Delaney! I love that.

Name update:

Hi Swistle!

I was so excited when you responded to my question and all of your suggestions were on point. I fought for Darcy or Maisie, but we came to a standstill and compromised on Willow for the majority of the pregnancy. Finally something clicked and we returned to our old faithful, Riley, for our third baby and only girl. It irks me a little it doesn’t stand out as a girl name from our boys, but it fits her perfectly.

Please meet all 9lbs 14oz of our newest addition, Riley Willow.

I’ve read that it used to be common for a whole batch of new babies to be named in honor of a new president. Now it seems like it’s more common to AVOID a name that suddenly comes into the public’s awareness, out of a fear that the name will become too common: remember when the new royal babies were born and everyone was worried it meant the names George/Charlotte were no longer usable.

I love namesakes and honor names, so I would love to see us lean back the other way. We have a new president-elect and vice-president-elect in the U.S. this week, and so I am working on a list of some possible honor names for this new era:

Abram
Alexandria
Anthony
Eleanor
Elena
Elizabeth
Fiona
Ford
Garland
Georgia
Greta
Harris
Hope
Jacinda
Jill
Jo
Joe
John
Joseph
Josephine
Joy
Justice
Katherine
Lewis
Maxine
Merrick
Nancy
Pete
Porter
Ruth
Sally
Sonia
Warren
Yates

More suggestions? I left out some names I felt had too strong of a single association (Kamala, Barack, Hillary, Biden, Bernie, Clinton), or that felt too dated for this generation of babies (Stacey, Christine, Michelle) and will have to wait a generation or two. Those are pretty subjective decisions, however, and will change with time, so feel free to mention any you think of that you think would work now or later on. Some would work beautifully as middle names even if we didn’t want to use them as first names.

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We are trying to come up with a boys name for our fourth boy and we like surnames for first names. Is the name Kipling (nickname Kip) out due to Rudyard Kiplings white supremacy even if we clarify we aren’t naming our son after him? Please advise.

I know not everyone can use the Twitter polls, but I think that’s a good way to cast a wide net for this sort of question—and those who can’t vote can leave comments saying what they WOULD have voted. Link to the Twitter poll. [Poll closed; see results below:]

For my vote (Twitter won’t let me vote in my own poll), I will say that although the name Rudyard Kipling is familiar, I am not familiar with his work or reputation—so if I’d met a kid named Kipling/Kip, I’d think it was adorable and not make any association with white supremacy. (But now that I know, I don’t think I can un-know.)