Hi there,

Recently discovered your blog as I am nearing our due date and not settled on a name combo that we love. I love your creativity and candor – that is what we need!

We are due 12/10/21 with our first child and looking for help with our girl name. If it’s a boy, he will be Finnegan Beach. Beach is my maiden name. Our surname is like Riley with a K.

NICKNAME / SURNAME FLOW
My husband and I have had our hearts set on the name “Leland” for a girl. That was the name of the street I lived on when we fell in love. “Lee” is also a family name, and we like it for a nickname. We could also use “Lindy.” While I think Leland Riley sounds nice, I worry about the situation where the nickname becomes so dominant that we have a “Lee Riley (with a K)” on our hands. Is that just odd-sounding since the nickname is embedded in the surname? How much should you take the nickname-surname flow into consideration?

Our last name ending in the -EE sound is tricky as so many nicknames end in -EE or -IE.

While we love Leland, I want the honest truth if we should steer clear given the obvious nickname and how that flows with our last name. Other names we’ve considered: Penelope and Eloise.

MIDDLE NAME
Then there comes the question of the middle name. Because “Leland” contains softer sounds and is traditionally masculine, I liked the idea of a middle name with some punch or something more feminine (or both!). We came across the name “Verve” and both were excited by it. It’s a quality that doesn’t feel limiting (I hope) as it can be expressed in so many different ways, but it embodies a characteristic that matters to both me and my husband- living with passion & enthusiasm. We thought “Lindy Verve” was a cute nickname combo. But does “Leland Verve” sound alright? If not, any other ideas for a strong middle name for Leland?

We also considered putting my maiden name “Beach” as a middle, but I wish it was a bit more delicate for a baby girl. Wondered about other names that evoke the seaside and might be a bit prettier?

Thanks in advance for any wisdom you can provide! We’re keeping the names a secret and I’m second-guessing everything! Want to make sure we don’t make a mistake.

Thanks!

I hope it is a good sign that it took me a minute to understand why Lee Riley-with-a-K would be a potential problem. After I understood, I thought about it for awhile and I still think it’s fine. Partly this is because I don’t think nickname/surname issues are anywhere near as serious as given-name/surname issues (though I do think you’re wise to think them through ahead of time), and partly it’s because for whatever reason the end of the surname doesn’t hit my ear or my brain as if it’s the same as “Lee.” I mean, I know it IS! But it doesn’t process that way. At most it gives the name a pleasing sound, without me immediately realizing it’s the repetition that makes it so.

I would go so far as to say that Lee Riley-with-a-K seems like less of a potential issue than some of the potential nicknames for Penelope and Eloise: Nellie Riley-with-a-K and Ellie Riley-with-a-K lean even harder on repetitive sounds by adding those additional syllables (though I still think those are both fine), while Penny Riley-with-a-K evokes penny candy (again, I think it’s fine).

I am less sure about the middle name Verve. The word verve is not currently used as a name in the United States. When considering something new as a name, I like to see if I can get it to sink in as a name by finding other names with similar sounds/sections. For Verve, I am having trouble: we don’t ever seem to do that verv/virv/vurv sound for names. Vern(e) is a little similar. Marv, short for Marvin, is a little similar. Harvey, maybe. Irving. Minerva. Ferb, like from Phineas and Ferb. Mostly I’m thinking of non-name words: verb, swerve. Verve is not growing on me or clicking in as a name as I consider it; I realize this is hugely subjective, but you asked me to be candid, and the name Verve does not strike me as a pleasing sound or as a name that is fun to say. It also strikes me as a word-name that could seem like either a joke (“Well, Verve IS her middle name!”) or like a disappointed hope, depending on her temperament. It is possible for many different temperaments to live lives of passion/enthusiasm in their own ways—but the name Verve specifies the particular way you have in mind.

I like the idea of using your maiden name Beach as the middle. Using a beach-related word instead feels like a serious step down from the honor name. If you want something more feminine, would you consider using your own first name as her middle name? I seriously regret not giving this idea more consideration when naming my own daughter. Or would your middle name work?

It worries me a little that your other two finalist girl names are familiar and relatively common traditional first names names currently used exclusively for girls, while Leland is a relatively unusual surname name currently used almost exclusively for boys. If you are planning to have more children, are you able to put together two sister names you like? It can feel silly to be thinking ahead to the names of hypothetical future children when it’s so difficult to name even the current one—but some forethought now can save a struggle later. If it turns out that the name Leland is an outlier for your usual style, and all of the rest of the names on your list are familiar girl-usage names, you may want to reconsider the use of Leland for a girl, to avoid painting yourself into a very difficult corner later on. (Leland could make a wonderful and meaningful middle name: Penelope Leland Riley-with-a-K, Eloise Leland Riley-with-a-K, Finnegan Leland Riley-with-a-K.) If, on the other hand, you have names such as Winslow and Clarence and Merritt and Ellison and Malone on your girl-name list, you are all set and my concern is unnecessary.

Updates on Baby Boy Burklee Stirring, Brother to N0a and Levi

Hi Swistle

We are expecting our (very surprise!) third baby.

Our first child, a girl, is Ev@ Rrruth (without the extra letters). Rrruth is a family middle name. She kind of named herself even before conception!

Our second child, a boy, is Blyth3 Reub3n. We settled on Blyth3 on our second day in hospital after finding our almost-sure-but-not-quite choice, Alistair, just didn’t fit – and neither did our second almost-maybe-possibly choice, Toby. Blyth3 had positive associations for me, being a fan of Anne of Green Gables; and it has come to fit him so beautifully, despite the funny looks we occasionally get: He’s quirky, cheerful, and delightfully cuddly and affectionate!

Our choices for a third girl are fairly well settled: either M@e Ruby (my first pick) or S@brina Ruby (my husband’s top favourite, and my third favourite). My only qualm about M@e (though I ADORE it!) is that I specifically want that spelling, but I suspect I’m going to subject her to a lifetime of “M@e with an ‘e’, not a ‘y’” fun! What do you think?

For a boy, it’s tricky. Here’s why:

– We really want to stick with the R middle name convention, due to a multitude of R family names across the board. But, we want to find one that isn’t too modern compared with our more classic name choices – e.g. Ryan; and not too stuffy – e.g. Richard). We have the names Robert, Roy and Ronald in the family – but I feel very “meh” about them, as I feel they sort of slide toward that stuffy category. Perhaps Ronald not quite so much as the other two, but still. I feel stuck for good options!

– Despite bending our idea a little with S@brina as a contender for a girl, I think it would be nice to aim for a one or two syllable name, if possible, to tie in with her siblings’ names. This isn’t a dealbreaker though.

– I quite like the name D@rcy, for a boy, but I can’t decide if it would be cute or ridiculous to have a Blyth3 AND a D@rcy (yes, I’m a fan of both Anne of Green Gables and Pride & Prejudice!)

Swistle, I’m hoping you can help unravel my thinking and come up with some brilliant ideas to solve my baby name jigsaw puzzle!

I think the name May/M@e is widly understood to have two spellings, and that whichever spelling you use, you/she will need to clarify the spelling each time. As a Kristen who has to clarify that it’s a K not a C and an E not an I, I can report that this feels very normal, and does not feel like a reason to avoid a name: MANY names have multiple spellings. Even better: the name is so short, it’s a quick and easy clarification: “M@e, that’s M-A-E.”

For an R- middle name for a boy, I suggest not worrying about coordinating the style with the other children’s middle names: that feels like an issue that matters only during the naming process, if then, and then never again. But here are a few more options: Robin, Raphael, Roland, Roderick, Rufus, Rupert, Reid, Randell, Russell, Raymond, Rhys, Redford, Richmond, Rowan.

I think the name D@rcy is a terrific idea. I like the literary tie-in (they’re even both literary surnames!), and I like the coordinating usage: in the United States, the name Blyth3 is unisex used more often for girls (87 new baby girls and 10 new baby boys given the name in 2020), and so is the name D@rcy (194 new baby girls and 9 new baby boys given the name in 2020)—and yet BOTH namesakes are male characters. Very pleasing. Ev@, Blyth3, and D@rcy.

Without a surname to work with, it’s hard to make additional suggestions—but I don’t even feel the urge to make additional suggestions. I think M@e/D@rcy are great.

Update (and photo) on Baby Boy T________, Brother to Jameson/James and Natalie/Tilly; Names that Lead to the Nickname Lance

Update on Baby Girl V_______, Sister to Cor@ H@zel

Hi Swistle,

So thrilled to have a reason to write a fellow name obsessive, even though I’m in a pickle! I’m 20 weeks pregnant and need a girl’s name just in case. We’re going to be surprised by the gender, like we were with our first daughter Julia Jane. Our boy name is pretty much settled on a family name (Nicholas nn Nico, although feel free to suggest middles, since I don’t know whether to match it to the name or the nickname).

As you’ve written before, I’m wondering if my “rules” are actually making this more difficult. Here’s what they are:
– My grandmother Marjorie always told me the prettiest names have “L”s in them.
– I would ideally like it to not end in an “-a” sound again. Is it too much with the -a ending in her last name, especially a second time? -ie and -y endings also help soften that hard K sound.
– Could work (or at least be pronounced) in most major languages so she can travel anywhere in the world and feel at home — particularly to France, where her grandparents live. I grew up abroad and this is important to me.
– Classic and feminine, but not overly common.

Of course, many of our top picks break one or more of these rules.
– Everyone, including me, likes Nora. But something sounds funny to me about it with Julia and possibly odd with the last name. Julia and Nora. Nora Sulka-with-a-B. Am I nuts?
– I love Chloe, husband does not. (I think French fashion house, he thinks Kardashian.)
– We both like Lily but worry it is too common (already used on our own street, for example.)
– I like Lucy but it’s associated with a very sweet relative who has suffered much personal tragedy. (However, my mother Charlotte was also named for a tragic relative 60 years ago and look how popular and pretty her name is now!)
Other top contenders: Grace, Abby, Wendy, Penny, and Margo

If anyone can help me, it’s you, Swistle! Baby Sulka-with-a-B will be born in January.

Warmly,
Allison

Good morning! Let’s start with your grandmother telling you that the prettiest names have L’s in them, which has become part of your naming rules. She was either (1) expressing a personal preference, or (2) flattering you in the manner of a grandmother telling a brown-eyed grandchild that brown eyes are best, or (3) both! But she was not stating an objective fact. I am taking that rule absolutely out of the running.

I don’t have experience with which names work internationally and/or in France, so I will just work with the list you have, and hope commenters who have more knowledge about that topic can add more options.

I agree with you that Nora is a little odd with the surname. I think it’s the pairing of two 2-syllable names ending with -a, but also there is something about the -ra running into the Bul- that my mouth doesn’t like. I don’t think it has to be a deal-breaker if the two of you agree it’s your favorite name, but I do see it. (It doesn’t seem odd to me with the sister name; I wonder if what you’re noticing is that Nora can be a little odd with the word “and.” Try saying just “Julia! Nora! Time for dinner!” or “Nora and Julia” and see if that is any better.) What I might prefer to do is name her Eleanor, which adds an L if you want one, and which I think is nice with Julia and works fine with the surname, and then call her Nora (or Ellie, or Lennie) as a nickname.

If Chloe is not quite right, I wonder if Cleo would work: same sounds, different order, no Kardashians.

I don’t see any problem with using the name of a sweet relative who has experienced personal tragedy. If it were the name of a relative who had CAUSED tragedy for others, that would be different—but if she has had sad things happen, but is herself a lovely person, and Lucy is a name you both agree on and like, then I think it should be a strong contender. I think it works well with the sister name, though it does repeat the same L/U sounds. Another possibility is to name her Lucille, and then use Lucy or Celia as nicknames.

You wouldn’t want to consider using your mother’s name, would you? It’s so unusual and fun to have a recent family name that’s currently in style, and it’s nice with the sibling name and with the surname. You could call her Lottie.

Margo feels a little clunky with the surname, but I think that’s the fault of the surname, which makes a lot of first names seem clunky (is it too late to switch to the other parent’s family surname?); and I like that it could be a reminder of your grandmother Marjorie.

I think Grace is a very nice option.

I love Abby and Penny, but as nicknames.

Wendy feels surprising with Julia.

I said I wasn’t going to add options, but I can’t resist the pretty French names list. Again: these may not meet the international preference, and for all I know these are awkward/different in French. But:

• Eloise! Eloise [S]ulka; Julia and Eloise
• Sophia! Sophia [S]ulka; Julia and Sophia/Sophie (adds another -a, but with three syllables, which I think works much better than two syllables)
• Sylvie! Sylvie [S]ulka; Julia and Sylvie
• If she is instead born in December: Noelle! Noelle [S]ulka; Julia and Noelle
• Simone! Simone [S]ulka; Julia and Simone
• Estelle! Estelle [S]ulka; Julia and Estelle
• Celeste! Celeste [S]ulka; Julia and Celeste
• Claire! Claire [S]ulka; Julia and Claire

For your boy name, you asked if you should match the middle to the given name or to the nickname, and I would say DEFINITELY to the given name (though I would double-check to make sure it didn’t create anything BAD with the nickname). It’s not certain the child will continue to use the nickname; and the middle name will be used almost exclusively alongside the full given name: on paperwork, at graduation, etc. Well, unless you think it’s likely you will regularly call him Nico Middlename, in which case the middle name should work with both the given name AND the nickname.

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Update (and photos) on Baby Girl Pederssen, Sister to Holly

Update (and photo) on Baby Girl Brown, Sister to Frederick

Update on Baby Girl Rhymes-with-Bowl, Sister to Cam