Dear Swistle,

This is not urgent; this baby isn’t arriving until April. However, my partner and I are tripping up on a baby naming issue that we’d love help with.

Neither of us have strong feelings about girl’s names, except that they be easily pronounced by my US based family and his Dutch family. We want to avoid the letters R, J and G as they are pronounced so differently in English and Dutch.

I remember you mentioning you have some Dutch heritage, so we’d love suggestions!

Family names we’re considering using in the middle name spot are Ilse (his mother’s name), Inge and Lieselotte.

The surname this baby will have is Van der Laan.

He likes Anouk, Eve, Margriet and Iris.

I like the names Amelia, Winter, Lucy, Flora and Rumi (don’t think I’d ever use it, but it’s 100% my favourite name). Searching your blog to see what you suggest for people who like Emilia, I discovered a lovely name which Erica had chosen for a daughter: Lua! Which I adore but my partner says no to. Dang. Rumi and now Lua are the only two names I’ve really liked so far.

We had three names we like for boys: Sam, Sebastian and Ruben. Ruben has the Dutch r issue that I’m not keen on.

This will be our first and likely only child.

Do you have any words of wisdom or inspiration for us? I’m a lot tireder than I thought I’d be, and finding it hard to engage with the naming of our kiddo. Sending this email off to you is bringing me a great sense of relief: you’re like a fairy godmother of names, and I feel our child is in safe hands with you providing input!

Thanks, Swistle.

Kind regards,

Zoe

Oh, dear—so, I DO have Dutch heritage, but all I know about Dutch pronunciation is little assorted things, such as that the surname Groen is pronounced Groon (but the creator of The Simpsons is Groening and it’s pronounced GRAIN-ing, so I am not sure what is what), and that Thijs is pronounced like Tice-rhymes-with-rice, and I know that the J is pronounced like Y, and that allegedly my family mispronounces our own surname—but that’s pretty close to all I know about how names are pronounced in The Netherlands.

As for what is easily pronounced in the U.S., I know I can’t speak for the U.S., but I can say that as one single U.S. person, these are the first names on your list I am not immediately/confidently sure how to pronounce: Anouk, Margriet, Rumi (is it the same as the word roomy/roomie? it seems like it must be), Lua (it MUST be LOO-ah, but I would still feel tentative). Oh—but I see what you actually say is that the name needs to be able to be easily pronounced by your U.S. family, and I feel that if I were TOLD the pronunciation of any of these names, I WOULD be able to easily pronounce them. So that’s not an issue.

If the baby is going to have your partner’s Dutch surname, it seems balanced for the baby to NOT have a Dutch first name, but instead to have a name more from the mother’s heritage. And while we’re here: is there any room still to consider hyphenating the surname, or using your surname? It is so baffling to me the way time after time, baby after baby, generation after generation, parents married or not: if one parent is a man, the baby is almost always given the man’s surname. WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY. If I were having babies with a man NOW, AFTER years and years of doing this name blog, I would keep my OWN name and I would give all my children MY surname, JUST TO PROVIDE THE TINIEST BIT OF BALANCE TO THE UNIVERSE, GAH

From your partner’s list I like Eve and Iris. Eve is kind of a lot of V with his surname, which can be a plus or a minus. To me I think it is a plus. I would like to be named Eve Van der Laan, I think. But I would also like to be named Iris Van der Laan.

But, again: if we are using his family’s surname for the baby (i.e., he will have the same surname as his own baby but you will not have the same surname as your own baby), then I feel STRONGLY INCLINED to AT LEAST let you have more say in the FIRST name. Of the names on your list, the ones most to my own personal tastes are FLORA (!!!), Amelia, and Lucy. I personally feel that Flora Van der Laan is a MAGNIFICENT name, and one that I would very much want for myself. But that is only what SWISTLE likes, and what would be best is to choose what YOU like. Perhaps the deal could be this: he gets to share HIS surname with the child; the first name is chosen by the two of you from among YOUR favorites; and then the middle name is a family name from YOUR side, or else one of your favorite first name options that he does not want to use as the first name. So: Flora/Winter/Amelia/etc., whatever the two of you agree on from your list; then a family name from your side (I highly recommend adding your own first and middle and last names to the list of candidates), or else Rumi/Lua, for the middle; and then Van der Laan. Or if he balks at this deal, perhaps he would prefer to flip it: you could go with a name the two of you agree on from among HIS first-name choices, and then his mom’s name for the middle, and then YOUR surname. Under no circumstances do I think this baby should have (1) a name from his list of first-name choices (especially one of the Dutch options), (2) and then his mother’s name as the middle, (3) and then his family’s surname.

A first option that came to mind: Evelina. Sort of like Eve, sort of like Amelia. Evelina Rumi Van der Laan. Evelina Zoe Van der Laan. Evelina Ilse [Your Surname].

There are a lot of florals in your lists, so I suggest Violet: I think Violet Van der Laan is pretty snappy and memorable. I also love Violet with your surname, or with a hyphenated surname.

I wonder about Dahlia or Delia. Delia Ilse [Your Surname]. Delia Zoe Van der Laan. Dahlia Rumi Van der Laan. Delia Lua Van der Laan.

Sort of similar to Rumi: Romy. Romy Van der Laan. But is the R an issue?

Would your partner like Lua better if it were Luca? Luna? Lula? Lucia? Lia? Or Lucy seems like a nice option from your list: sort of like Lua + Iris. And you could call her Lua as a pet name.

Would you like Anouk better if it were Anne or Anna or Annika or Lucianna?

If you were having a boy, I’d suggest using your family surname as a first name, if it’s the surname I see in the email. For a girl, I wonder if you want to consider using it without the final letter.

Hi Swistle!

You helped us name our son in 2017, Thomas Baldwin Keller, he goes by Tommy.

We have another boy coming this May and are desperate for some new ideas! While we would welcome more kids, this baby is YEARS in the making, so likely our last.

Our previous names that were on our old list seem boring now to me; Brooks, Liam, Wyatt (still like but can’t use), Graham.

I really like the idea of having a formal name and then a nickname, but not necessary. We had great girl names, but I can’t seem to match my excitement around those; Campbell, June, Reese, Annie, Caroline.

We can’t use; Teddy, John, Charlie, Jack

Middle name would likely be my maiden name, Petersen or my dads full name, James. Could also be my husbands full name, Jackson.

Our Top Contenders:

Bo, what would a formal name be? Is Bo a nickname for William?
Everett James Keller (Rhett), weird to spell a nickname different?
Whitaker James Keller (Whit), trying to decide if I feel like its too girly?
Briggs Petersen/or Jacks Keller

Very open to new ideas. I like the unique exciting ones, but do worry I will chicken out in the hospital and will walk out with something super traditional!

Thank you!!

Katie

I might consider Bo as a nickname for Robert. Though with a brother named Thomas and called Tommy, Robert/Robbie feels more natural to me.

Everett/Rhett is a familiar combination to me. It also feels familiar to have nicknames spelled differently than the given name—as with Thomas/Tommy, where it’s Tommy and not Thommy.

Whitaker and Briggs feel like such a different style than Thomas! It’s not a clash, but it’s a surprising leap. There’s no rule that you have to stay with the same style, but it’s something to take into consideration if you’d LIKE the names to coordinate. (If I encountered this kind of pairing in the wild, I would guess the parents had felt forced to use a family name for the first child, and then had switched to their own naming style. Because this happens pretty commonly, it makes the traditional/unusual combination a little less startling than it might otherwise be.)

I don’t find Whitaker girlish, but I find Whitaker Keller kind of a lot of K and -er.

I don’t want to eliminate the option of using your birth surname as the middle name—but if you decide not to use it ANYWAY, then I suggest Peter as a first name. It’s traditional/familiar like Thomas, but feels surprisingly uncommon. Peter James Keller; Thomas and Peter; Tommy and Pete/PJ. More options:

August Keller; Thomas and August; Tommy and Gus
Benjamin Keller; Thomas and Benjamin; Tommy and Benny/Ben
Calvin Keller, if you like the alliteration; Thomas and Calvin; Tommy and Cal
Camden Keller, again with alliteration; Thomas and Camden; Tommy and Cam
Daniel Keller; Thomas and Daniel; Tommy and Danny/Dan
Edmund Keller; Thomas and Edmund; Tommy and Eddie
Franklin Keller; Thomas and Franklin; Tommy and Frankie
George Keller; Thomas and George; Tommy and Georgie
Harvey Keller; Thomas and Harvey; Tommy and Harvey
Henry Keller; Thomas and Henry; Tommy and Hank
Joseph Keller; Thomas and Joseph; Tommy and Joey
Louis Keller; Thomas and Louis; Tommy and Louie
Nicholas Keller; Thomas and Nicholas; Tommy and Nick
Nolan Keller; Thomas and Nolan; Tommy and Nolan
Samuel Keller; Thomas and Samuel; Tommy and Sammy
Wesley Keller; Thomas and Wesley; Tommy and Wes
Wilson Keller; Thomas and Wilson; Tommy and Wils/Will

Hi Swistle,

I’m expecting a second baby boy in August. I love the name Felix, but my partner thinks it is a “cat name.” I’m having trouble finding other boy names that I like as much.

Our details are as follows: last name sounds like Hues, big brother is Cyrus, and if this baby had been a girl she would have been called Daphne. The middle name will likely be Francis, an honor name. I prefer two syllable names, but am open to suggestions. My partner tends to veto names that can’t be shortened into a nickname.

Other names:
Hugo (can’t use because of our last name)

Jasper (I like but don’t love this name. I also have this silly idea fueled by pregnancy hormones that all of us could have initials in alphabetical order – I’m E, partner is B and brother is C so I was hoping to find a name I loved with an A, D, or F to fill in the sequence)

Milo/ Miles (my partner likes Milo a lot, but I’m lukewarm)

Thank you for your help!

I am immediately alerted to this sentence: “I’m having trouble finding other boy names that I like as much.” Before we suggest any name candidates, I am going to suggest a mental reset: it is entirely possible, and in fact mathematically/logically likely, that you will NOT be able to find any names that you like as much as your top favorite name. So there is no sense comparing other names to it, or expecting them to measure up; the actual task here is to find your favorite name of all the OTHER, NON-FELIX names. If your partner does then end up coming around to Felix (and “it’s a cat name” is a pretty dated objection, and shows me that your partner might not be doing the necessary work to get caught up on current naming practices), that’ll be great news! And if not, you will have another name, a name the two of you can agree on, and maybe in time you will grow to like it as much as (or more than!) Felix.

I think the alphabet thing is fun, and should be used only as a fun name-generating exercise and/or a way to decide between two equally-loved candidates. It feels to me (though of course it only matters what it feels to YOU) as if ONLY a D-name works to satisfy this goal: the others don’t fill in any gaps, and in fact accentuate the gaps. I guess F works a little, in that then we have B&C and E&F. But it’s hard to find the motivation to make that happen. One parent and one child, and then…the other parent and the other child? And choosing an A name means you’re the only one stranded. And if you’re planning more children, it seems like this paints you into a corner. But I agree it would be fun/satisfying if it DID work out.

I don’t suppose you’d want to consider Francis as the first name? Frances has been gradually coming into style for girls, and I feel as if Francis/Frankie/Frank for boys is a very appealing traditional-but-not-overused option. Cyrus and Francis; Cy and Frankie. And then this opens up the possibility of using Felix as the middle name (especially if the honor name comes from your partner’s side of the family), which is a great way to salvage a name that one parent loves and the other parent vetoes. Francis Felix Hues.

Because both Hugo and Milo were mentioned, I am going to mention a few more -o names, even though they don’t really have nicknames: Otto, Leo, Nico, Theo, Roscoe, Arlo, Elio, Tycho. (Is Tycho worth a lifetime of correcting people who naturally pronounce it like TIKE-ko instead of TEEK-ko?) You could use Leonardo, with the nickname Leo. Marco lets you shorten to Marc; Matteo gives you Matt/Mattie/Teo.

Okay! Now to find some more candidates.

Isaac? I don’t think it has the VIBE of Felix, but it has a nice snappy sound, and shortens to Ike or Zac. I think I like the shared long-I sound with Cyrus. Cyrus and Isaac; Cy and Ike/Zac.

Xavier? It feels classical like Cyrus, and has the X of Felix. It doesn’t really shorten to the kind of nickname someone might write on a homework paper, but I suspect a person might find themselves saying Xave/Xavey to rhyme with Dave/Davy. Cyrus and Xavier; Cy and Xavy.

Frederick. Has that old-fashioned feeling, with some of the crackle of Felix. Cyrus and Frederick; Cy and Freddie/Fred/Fritz.

Ezekiel. Again the crackle and the old-fashioned sound catch my eye/ear, though that might not have anything to do with why you like Felix. Cyrus and Ezekiel; Cy and Zeke.

Or Ezra for something a little shorter/simpler. Cyrus and Ezra; Cy and Ez.

Aidric. No short form that comes to mind other than Rick/Ricky, which feels dated—but SO dated that it could be coming back. I have noted one Johnny and one Tommy and one Ernie and one Eddie and one Mickey (!) among the children in my circle, so perhaps we are heading into an era of bringing back nicknames, especially the freckle-face/gap-tooth ones from the Baby Boomer era. Cyrus and Aidric; Cy and Ricky.

Julius. This repeats the ending of Cyrus, but gives you the nickname Jules. Cyrus and Julius; Cy and Jules.

Rufus. Again, a repeated ending, but I have loved this name since Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and my love for it continues on. Cyrus and Rufus; Cy and…oh. Nothing. Well, it’s borderline rhymey anyway.

Another of my little lovies is Alfred. Oh gosh, I think it’s so sweet and warm—yet with full dignity, not at all cutesy or babyish. And nicknames to burn! Al, Alfie, Freddie! With your surname, he sounds like such a little warm-hearted little gentleman/farmer! Alfred Hues, Alfie Hues! Cyrus and Alfred; Cy and Alfie.

Earnest is a name I feel we could all love again if we heard it as the WORD earnest. Such a nice word! Sincere and open-hearted! Cyrus and Earnest; Cy and Ernie.

Edmund. Cyrus and Edmund. Cy and Eddie.

Barnaby. I mention this because to me the name Felix has a certain playful energy. Barnaby has a similar feeling to me. It’s fun to say; it’s fun to write. Cyrus and Barnaby; Cy and…hm. Not Barney, I don’t think, not yet. Barn. Barns. B. Nibby. His Nibs. I feel certain something would emerge.

Abram. Cyrus and Abram; Cy and Abe.

Vincent. Cyrus and Vincent; Cy and Vinnie/Vince.

Hello Swistle,

You helped us name our daughter two years ago and now I am even more desperate for your help naming our son, whom we are expecting in early April.

Our daughter’s name is Maren Luna. We love that her first name is not very popular and we chose it based on it’s meaning, which is Latin for sea. Luna we love as a combination of the sea and the moon, and we were inspired to name her that from Luna Lovegood (we are both avid Harry Potter fans).

Anyways, our biggest priority with names is something that is meaningful to us. The less popular, the better. But we would choose a very popular name that means something to us over something obscure. We love nature names, ocean-related names, or others that have a great meaning.

The only two names we are considering right now are Ezra Kai and Rhys Raymond.
Ezra – helper
Kai – sea

Rhys – ardor
Raymond – wise protector

We also like Shai, but are struggling with a good middle name to go with it.

Ezra has been a favorite of ours for a long time. If Maren had been a boy, we would’ve named her Ezra. I’ve always liked the name Rhys and Raymond is a family name (although we would not have considered it if we didn’t also like what it means).

My husband loves Ezra Kai, but there is something about it that I’m not super sold on. Ezra with another middle name might work for us, but I have seriously struggled to figure out another one we like. My husband likes Rhys but doesn’t love the spelling, although he also doesn’t want to spell it like Reece. I like the name Ezra better than Rhys but I love the sound of Rhys Raymond way more than Ezra Kai. Boy names we had considered but rejected for one reason or another are: Oliver, Rowan, Ash,and Silas.

If this baby had been a girl, my list included names such as Indigo, Elowyn Jade, Elowyn Sage, Daphne Flora, and Daphne Laurel.

At this point we have accepted that we may not manage to name him until he’s here. And we feel like we have two decent options. We’d love to have a couple more options to choose from though and thought that’s where your genius may come in handy!

Thank you so much,
Lauren

A quick one this evening! Here is my Fast-and-Could-Be-Wrong Take: I think that of these two options, the obvious choice is Ezra; and that the main issue is that you need a different middle name. I think you WANT to like Kai because it can be said to mean “sea,” like your daughter’s name, but that it’s not working for you—possibly BECAUSE it can be said to mean the same as your daughter’s name. (Also, the name Ezra Kai is reminding me of something I can’t put my finger on: something about the rhythm/sound of it is reminding me of, like, the name of a special kind of battle in Star Trek/Wars. Like, an “I challenge you to ______!” context/)

The most important issue to you is that the name have personal meaning, so obviously I can’t help with that—but I can pull from your email and suggest Ezra Raymond or Ezra Rhys or Ezra Shai or Ezra Indigo or Ezra Sage; or Ezra with any of your other rejected first names (Oliver, Rowan, Ash, Silas); or looking for a middle name with special meaning to you that also has alliteration similar to Rhys Raymond.

Hi Swistle,

I would love your thoughts on a question of parent-name balance (FEMINISM) for a baby girl due in August. I have loved your posts on this topic!

When we got married, we each kept our own last name. My name is/sounds like Clare Kristianson and his name is/sounds like Casey Surappis. We don’t like the way our last names sound together, or the fact that the baby would end up with an 18-letter hyphenated surname. We are instead considering the name Clara Elliot Surappis. Elliot is for Casey and his mother: Casey’s mother wanted to name him Elliot, but her family made fun of it so she switched to Casey. He and his mother have always felt Elliot would have suited him better. This baby will be our first, and we are not sure if we want more.

Do I want to make a human’s name my feminist stand? My family are traditional Midwesterners: I am the only woman to keep her name at marriage, and it has been hard for people to understand why (I tell them repeatedly, BECAUSE I WANTED TO). I am worried I’m in for a lifetime of comments that (1) I am egotistical, or (2) it’s confusing for us to have similar names. To them, I imagine saying (1) are all the men with Man Junior sons also egotistical?, and (2) I have a PhD, you may call me Doctor Clare if it helps you tell us apart. In real life, though, I worry that I, and later she, will get tired of explaining our choice rather than celebrating her name in its own right.

Side question: Is the division of first name for me, middle and last for him, too him-sided? I rationalize it by saying that he doesn’t get much flexibility on his last, and the first name gets the most use, and I do genuinely like Elliot for a middle. Will I regret this?

Thank you!

Clare

You and I both know that (1) it is no more strange to name your daughter after yourself than it is for a man to name a son after himself (especially when you are not even using your actual name, let alone ALL THREE of your actual names, as men often do), and also that (2) many people will perceive it as strange anyway, because patriarchy. Your phrasing of the question (“Do I want to make a human’s name my feminist stand?”) seems extreme, though: I don’t think in a day-to-day way your daughter will feel her name is her mother’s Feminist Stand—the way she might if, for example, you made her a junior. I think there will be a flurry of interest right after the name is announced, and then it will come up much less often; and in the meantime, you have your responses prepared. My hope is that in the long run you would be pleasantly surprised by how non-reactive and/or positive-reactive people were—but on the other hand, you have family who don’t yet understand the better-established practice of a woman keeping her own surname, so we might have to wait a couple generations for some of us to catch up.

I am more concerned about the plan to give the child your husband’s surname. What is the plan for future children, if you do have more? Will you alternate your surname and his, or does keeping your own surname mean you’re the only one excluded from the Husband’s-Surname Household and that you’re the only one who has to go through life clarifying that you’re the parent of your own child(ren)? You mention not wanting to hyphenate, and I like to assume people know what they want and are able to think through their own various options; but on the other hand, I don’t think it hurts to make sure we’re thinking this through thoroughly—just to avoid accidentally sliding down the patriarchal path of least resistance. Is “not liking the sound of it” (it seems like we don’t require the father’s surname to pass that test) and “it has 18 whole letters” (that does not seem like a big deal—and, again, if the father’s surname were that long, I don’t think we’d be saying we shouldn’t use it) really enough reason to avoid that option? And if you really genuinely do not want to hyphenate, then I don’t think that means your surname drops from consideration—even if you are being represented by the first name. I do think it’s nicest when a couple can choose a balanced name that represents both families, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way—and in those cases, it’s nice to be able to contribute to SOCIETAL balance, and to the advancement of the concept that women (and their names) are as important as men (and their names).

Re-reading your letter, I feel like we could use more information about why you want to use the name Clara. Is it because you both love the name, and it happens to be a variation of your own name? Or are you going for feminism/namesake? If you’re going for feminism/namesake, I’d suggest using your own actual name, and perhaps using Clara as a distinguishing nickname. I would further suggest at least CONSIDERING, if only for the thrill of it, Going For It: all three names the same, just as with fathers/sons; perhaps that would make it easier for everyone to understand. Or perhaps let your husband choose the middle name, as some exceptionally accommodating and fair-minded husbands are willing to do even though it means their sons won’t be juniors. (I have not heard of any sort of general trend of men saying that if a son is getting a variation of his own first name, the middle name should be chosen by his wife, and the surname should be his wife’s.)

If you don’t want to do that, then I still feel as if you might be thinking that because you get one (1) child with a variation of your first name, you have to give everything else (possibly including the surnames of any further children) to your husband. To me, the fair division here is Clara (variation of your name) Elliot (name representing your husband) Kristianson-Surappis. The surname is indeed long. If I could show you the yearbook from my kids’ high school, I think you might feel better about that: there are LOTS of long hyphenated surnames. But if you really don’t want to, and we’re going to make this decision based on the SOUND of the last name, then I think it should be yours: it’s a much nicer sound. Or perhaps the system could be YOUR surname for girl children, and HIS surname for boy children. (I prefer the idea of giving the girls his surname and the boys your surname, but I also think it’s pretty important to do the non-traditional thing for the FIRST child, to make sure it doesn’t Just Seem Easier to keep going with the father’s surname.)

Actually, you know what I think would be really, really nice, if you KNEW you were having more children AND that the next one would be a boy? Name THIS child Clara ______ Kristianson-Surappis. Name the NEXT child Elliot _____ Kristianson-Surappis. (Or, if you don’t wish to hyphenate, Clara _____ Kristianson and Elliot ______ Surappis.) Well, we don’t know and we don’t know, so it’s probably not worth the risk of losing the name Elliot.

Hi Swistle,
We have a really good name for our first-born son. Now with another baby boy on the way, my partner and I are STUCK. How can we give our second-born son a great name too?

Surname will be L0Puert0 but swap the ‘uer’ for an ‘o.’

My son’s name is Bear. It’s simple, but different. People know exactly how to spell it (sometimes it happens only after I clarify, ‘like the animal.’) I love the dual symbolism — Bears can be big and strong. But teddy bears can be soft and cuddly. It’s also a nickname I have for my partner.

I want my new baby to have a name of his own, too. As a youngest child who was often compared to my siblings, it’s important to me that this baby can build his own path. Sometimes that starts with a name.

If it’s helpful, we’re open to and seem to be leaning toward baby names and lists that have been categorized as hippie/hipster or nature-inspired. One name that has made our brainstorm list is ‘Kai,’ but it’s too popular for us. But you can say we’re still leaning in the direction of a simple and easy to spell name for this baby.

Please help us add to our ideas list!

Thanks,
Em

This is a GREAT example of why I recommend thinking ahead to future sibling names while choosing a name for the first baby. It can feel too soon, and unnecessary, and hard enough to name the first one! But it can be so useful. Some names can make it very, very, very challenging to come up with sibling names, and it’s nice to know that going in.

The first name that came to mind was Fox, but I don’t know if that’s too on the nose. Finch. Otter. Raven. Or Hawk? Wolf? Tiger? I don’t know. I would not want to be named Hawk or Wolf or Tiger, but perhaps a boy named Hawk or Wolf or Tiger would love it.

I also thought of Lionel. But then it feels as if one child has an animal name, and the other has a hidden animal name—almost like it’s a wink/joke.

Similarly, I thought of Dane, then realized it could sound like a reference to Great Danes. Or Drake: I might not have thought of ducks (or rather, I absolutely would have, but I’m aware it’s also a name), except that there’s a brother named Bear, so maybe the duck tie-in is what they were going for. I still like Dane. Bear and Dane.

A nature name might be nice. Stone. Flint. Heath. Orion. Sage. Cedar. Clay. Sunny. River. Ocean. Cove. Grove. Island. Canyon. Sky. Dell. Glen. Hart. (Not Forest. And nothing associated with hunting: no Hunter, Arrow, Colt, etc.) Maybe Ranger? Wilder? Scout? Walker?

I wondered if Path might work as a name.

Maybe something like Kip or Kit or Mac (or Bo, but probably too rhymey with the surname). Adventurous, friendly. (Kit, though, is a term used for some kinds of baby animal. This could be a plus or a minus.)

I suspect we are going to be seeing more Nordic names soon (I base this on the way my eyes have started to linger on that section in The Baby Name Wizard, rather than skipping it), and some of those seem to me to go nicely with Bear. Aksel/Axel, Hans, Jens, Leif, Niels, Niko, Odin.

Or Pax. This came to mind because I had a co-worker whose name was the Spanish word for bear, and she had a brother named Pax. Ace. Merit. Hugo. Zed. Tycho. Ty. Cape. Jude. Jules. Rufus. Joss. Bridge. Bowie. I am in sections of this baby name book I don’t often use.

Hi Swistle,
Back in 2015 y’all helped me narrow down our son’s name. Since then we have had a daughter and are now due with our 3rd and final baby in April- gender unknown.

Here’s where we need help, we have absolutely no boy name contenders that feel right! A little about us…

This baby will be joining Henry and Anna, both have first names we love with middle names that mean something to us, Franklin and Lindley. If this baby is a girl we have decided on Eleanor Josephine. For boys we are absolutely stuck! As you can see by our other 2, we like classics but are open to others, we tend to also lean a little preppier or even surnames. Our last name starts with a B and has a harsh dge sound in it.

Names we have thrown around but haven’t felt like the one…
Benton
Parker
Griffin
Elliott
Reid
Wells

Please help us out with any suggestions!

With Henry and Anna, my clear favorites from your list are Elliott and Reid. (It appeals to me a little to have Eleanor/Elliott as the finalists, just because of their similarities, but that is no reason to choose one name over another.)

Henry was a finalist choice of ours, so I am trying to think of other names from my own list that might go well in this sibling group. Charles comes immediately to mind, but I’m not sure if that would work with the -dge- sound in your surname or not. But Henry, Anna, and Charlie feels like a very appealing little group to me. I feel as if they would have adventures.

We also liked Simon. Henry, Anna, and Simon.

And Leo. Henry, Anna, and Leo.

And John. Henry, Anna, and John.

Oh, and George! Henry, Anna, and George. It might not work with a -dge- in the surname, but didn’t want to not-mention it just in case actually it’s a smashing combination. George is one of my own top favorite names right now, and it’s on my Sad Not To Get To Use list.

And Oliver, just to round out the set of “names we accidentally used for cats and then felt like we couldn’t use for children, which was a very unfortunate lesson learned far too late.” Henry, Anna, and Oliver.

Calvin. Henry, Anna, and Calvin.

Warren. Henry, Anna, and Warren.

Nolan. Henry, Anna, and Nolan.

Louis. Henry, Anna, and Louis.

Wesley. Henry, Anna, and Wesley.

Wilson. Henry, Anna, and Wilson.

Davis. Henry, Anna, and Davis.

Dean. Henry, Anna, and Dean.

Edmund. Henry, Anna, and Edmund.

Frederick. Henry, Anna, and Frederick.

(Today is Tuesday; one of my kids has been in the hospital since Wednesday, and I have been here keeping him company—but without my baby name books. I am going to post some questions I’d thought I wouldn’t have useful answers for, even WITH my supplies, and see if commenters would like to take a crack at them.)

Dear Swistle,

I was so certain we were done with two kids, but after a few years we both decided we desperately wanted another and we’re now excited to be expecting a baby boy in May. Our older two children are Freya and Emrys and our shared surname is Berke (with a different spelling). Of course, with the originally unplanned third child to name, we find ourselves in that common predicament where we feel a bit painted into a corner.

When we named Freya several years ago, the name was still very uncommon here in the US. A couple of years later we felt another rare name would be a good match and chose Emrys for our son. We loved the connection to Arthurian Legend and thought it made it a nice complement to our daughter’s mythological name. Of course, Freya has since rocketed up the name charts to within the top 200 and looks poised to continue its rise. On the other hand, Emrys isn’t even in the top 1000 and doesn’t look like it will be any time soon. I see it featured on name blogs and lists here and there, but it certainly isn’t trendy in the way that Freya has become. So, I suppose that in just a few short years, these two names have become kind of an odd pair themselves which makes things more confusing as we try to select another name to join the group.

The list of names we’re considering currently consists of:

Malcolm: This name has been on our list for consideration with all of our pregnancies. We love that despite its classic feel, it’s never been popular and we love the nickname options. This name would probably be our hands-down choice, but we’re both concerned it feels a bit like the odd-man-out with our other two kids’ names.

Rhydian: Another Welsh name outside the top 1000. Despite it being extremely uncommon, I feel it has a very familiar quality about it (maybe because it rhymes with Gideon) and I think it’s easy to pronounce. My one hang up has to do with nicknames. We’ve talked about Rhys as a possible nickname for Emrys if he ever wanted to use it and I feel like Reid would be a fairly natural nickname for Rhydian (though I’m aware in both instances the pronunciation of the vowel in the given name is changed for the nickname). But Rhys and Reid are just too much for me…even Rhys and Rhydian seem too close.

Cian: This name is pronounced “Kee-an”. I like the sound, though I think I’d get frustrated with the inevitable mispronunciations based on the spelling.

Tristan: Another more common name that we’ve always had on our lists. It’s still not ridiculously popular and we like that it’s another name with a legendary connection.

My husband loves Taliesin with the nickname “Tal”. I love the nickname, but just can’t get on board with the given name.

I love August, but my husband isn’t a fan.

If the baby had been a girl we were thinking Daphne or Cordelia.

The middle name will for sure be Samuel, in memory of my sorely missed brother.

I’d love thoughts on our list, but we’re also open to suggestions! Thanks for any help you can offer!

A “Berke”

Update on Baby Boy Rhymes-with-Tickey, Brother to Georgia and James

A long time ago, we did a “mini-posts in the comments section” thing, where people who had small/short/quick baby-naming questions could post them in the comments section, and other commenters could scroll through and answer any they had opinions on. Recently several people asked if we could do that again, and okay!

This is perfect for the kind of question where you might feel silly sending in a whole letter for one single thing (not that you SHOULD feel silly! just that you MIGHT). Maybe you just want reactions to one particular name you’re considering; or you’d like to know which of two names people prefer; or you want to ask if a name is weird with your surname; or you want to know if people think a name will get more popular; or you want to know if people associate a name with a particular person/event; or whatever. Nice quick tidy little snack-size questions without much backstory.

And for the commenters who answer: a reminder for us all to answer kindly, as if we had been asked our opinion by a dear friend; as well as with the understanding that the goal is to find parents a name that works well for THEIR style and not for our own. (I have never quite gotten over the times I went to the baby-name discussion area of a major baby/pregnancy website and it was like some sort of giant wild-animal fight, all snarling and tail-whipping and rabies and teeth.) Okay, I think we’re ready! You may go ahead and ask/answer!