Category Archives: Uncategorized

Baby Boy Alweiss, Brother to Dylan and Ronan

Hey Swistle!

I am going to have my third baby boy in October. Our last name is Alweiss (rhymes will all-ice). His older brothers are Dylan Ryker and Ronan Hunter. So we kind of have a subtle Celtic theme going on. I have a list of names I’m digging- but haven’t committed to any of them. My husband likes Carver and I do not. I like the name Quinn as a middle name but it depends on the first name, if it flows or not. So, Quinn isn’t an absolute. This is my list thus far:

Crew
Raven
Harlan
Madden
Knox
Lyric
Killian
Soren
Denver
Jericho (nickname Echo)
Kylo
Hayes
Phoenix Quinn

I love Hayes as a potential middle name but it’s my cousin’s husband’s last name and I’m not sure if that’s a weird choice.

What name (doesn’t have to come from my list) do you think sounds best with Dylan and Ronan? They commonly go by “Dilly and Ro” too. I need help desperately!

 

I think your husband’s favored name Carver goes well with Ryker and Hunter and could be offered as the middle-name pick in exchange for you having more say with the first name. Unless Alweiss is your husband’s family’s surname, in which case you should already have more say.

I think it does not matter if Hayes is your cousin’s husband’s surname, especially if you’re only considering it as a middle name, but even if you’re considering it as a first name. If anyone says anything (and how many people in your life would know the connection?), you say “Yes, isn’t that a funny coincidence??”

I notice the first two boys’ names both have -an endings, and that you have a lot of -en/-an names on your list. Is this something you want to keep going, or something you’d prefer to avoid?

Kylo has such an undiluted negative association, I would not use it, despite it falling beautifully into the intersection of fresh naming trends. Really, it is the fault of Star Wars for using such a perfectly trend-capturing name as the name of a villain. It reminds me of when a pharmaceutical company used the name Allegra, when they could have used Fexochlor or some other name that no one would want to use for a baby.

Raven, Lyric, Jericho/Echo, and Phoenix all feel like style leaps to me after Dylan and Ronan. They’d make fun middle names.

My own favorite from the list for this sibling group is Soren. Soren Alweiss; Dylan, Ronan, Soren. Other names I might expect to see if I got a birth announcement in the mail include Harlan, Madden, and:

Archer
Ashton
Beckett
Brannigan
Brecken
Bridger
Brighton
Broderick
Callan
Camden
Carson
Carter
Coleman
Colton
Crawford
Crosby
Cullen
Finian
Gage
Grayson
Griffin
Hudson
Keaton
Keegan
Kellan
Keller
Kieran
Landon
Logan
Maxon
Morgan
Porter
Quincy
Sawyer
Sullivan
Teagan
Teague
Tyson
Warner
Weston
Wilder
Wyatt

Baby Girl Murie-with-an-A, Sister to Madeleine

I am having such a busy couple of weeks but don’t want to leave the blog stale, the babies unnamed! Here is a letter that seems like a particularly fun group project:

Dear Swistle,

My husband and I are expecting our second daughter in October. Our first – Madeleine – is almost two, and choosing her name was such an easy task. Madeleine Albright has been inspirational to me for a long time, particularly for her promotion of women working hard to establish themselves and of women supporting other women. Naming daughter 2 is proving much harder because there’s nothing as obviously meaningful this time around.

I want this new name to be inspirational to my daughter as she grows, and ideally with a connection to a strong female (era is unimportant). I was overjoyed to learn I was having a first, and now a second girl, because I so hope to raise strong, powerful, independent women.

I also have a preference for less common, vintage revival names. Some that we love but that feel off the table (because we’re late to the game and close family or friends have already used them) include: Regina (an important family name on both sides, which means we both have cousins with Regina daughters), Eleanor, Josephine.

Lastly, our daughters will have my last name, Murie (with an “a” instead of “u”), and no middle names. This was something very important to me because my last name has a special history. My husband’s name is quite unique – Kirsch. Since he was gracious enough to agree to our daughters having my last name, I would also be happy for our second daughter’s name to be a tribute to him. But finding a feminine companion name to his has also been quite tricky!

I certainly don’t expect to check all of these boxes, but would love to hit at least one and be able to someday tell my girl the story of how her name is rooted in something important.

So grateful for your thoughts!

Baby Girl Duffie

Hi Swistle!

I found your blog a little before getting pregnant and have been a huge fan. My husband and I are expecting our first child, a daughter, in about two months. We are American and plan to raise the baby in the US. While we’ve discussed names together a few times and borrowed some name books from the library, nothing has really come up that’s been a true YES for both of us.

Our last name is like Duffie with a different spelling, and we are Jessica and John. If the baby had been a boy we definitely would have chosen James, but are not necessarily looking for ‘J’ names. Obviously, things may change but we would like to have one more baby in the future.

We both like names with a lot of nickname potential. For example, our cats are Claudia and Leona, but are often respectively called Kip/Kiki and Yona/Yogurt (so I felt totally called out by that baby girl McTune letter!!! haha). We will likely use the baby’s full name and nicknames interchangeably.

My potential name list is kind of short. My top favorite name ever for this baby is Georgia (Gigi, Georgie), with Theresa (Tess, Reese) being a moderate second. For me, Georgia feels like a perfect combination of recognizable but not overused, classy, and wears great throughout life and on any personality. Unfortunately, it doesn’t bring any particular joy to my husband. Juliet would be my third place, but I have a very strong unpleasant association with a Jules, so that’s out. Most other names I find myself feeling kind of ambivalent about. Some names I’d put in my ‘decent, but not wow’ category are Keira, Maya, and Cassandra. I like Claire and Antoinette as middle names, if that helps give a clearer picture of my naming style.

My husband really likes the names Alice, Madeline, Imogen, and Juliet (although he agreed to rule it out over the strong nickname possibility Jules). For ‘decent but not wow’, he likes Cassandra, Claire, and Veronica. He also likes Antoinette as a middle name, but not as a first.

Other observation:
Some ‘D’ names can sound silly with our last name (Daisy is cute but Daisy Duffie sounds like a Fairly OddParents character), as do some names that end in a -y sound. I’m cognizant about this for nicknames as well. For example, the name Madeleine is nice, but Maddy Duffie has a lot of ‘Ds’ and the repeating -y sound. Other potential names kind of melt into Duffie, such as Alice Duffie -> Alicestuffy and Jade Duffie -> Jay Duffie, and I don’t love that either!

I know you are a proponent of considering the woman’s last name, which as you can see from my email address is uncommon. I like that name and still use it sometimes, but I enjoy the anonymity that Duffie has afforded me. It also has a similar region of origin as my mother’s maiden name. As such, our family is sticking with it! I hope you can help me rise to the challenge of finding a name we both love that works with our last name too.

Thank you!

 

I think the name Georgia is perfect, and so my first hope is that this will be one of those letters where we first hear that the spouse (almost always a husband) is not on board, and then later we get a follow-up that the spouse came around to it and in fact ended up choosing it.

I wonder if either of you would like Geneva? Geneva Duffie. I like the way it repeats the SOUND of your first initials without repeating the actual letter. And I like the nicknames: you’d still have Gigi, and also Genna/Gen, and also Eva and Evie and Neva and Nevie. I know at my house we would end up calling her Gevie (I don’t know if we’d spell it that way) and Jeeves and so forth too. Geneva Claire Duffie; Geneva Antoinette Duffie.

Or Genevieve. Genevieve Claire Duffie; Genevieve Antoinette Duffie.

I agree that Alice kind of mushes into the surname, and the absolute OCEAN of Maddys in my kids’ schools makes me reluctant to endorse the otherwise wonderful Madeline—but I love Imogen from your husband’s list. Imogen Duffie. It’s underused but not difficult, and it has fun nicknames: Immy and Gen/Genna, Mo, and also Midge. MIDGE!! Imogen Claire Duffie; Imogen Antoinette Duffie.

Theresa/Tessa and Veronica make me wonder if either of you would like Vanessa. Vanessa Duffie.

I also want to push both of you to like Veronica, even though it’s only on your husband’s Okay list. It’s just such a terrific name, and it has nickname options: Ronnie is retro; Nicky could work; Nica feels more modern; she could use Vera, too. And even though this is not usually my sort of thing, I like that it is KIND OF a combination of your two names: the -on- sound of John, the -ica of Jessica. Jessica, John, and Veronica is pretty fun to say, as long as it won’t make you feel pressured to repeat sounds for a potential future child.

Now that it has occurred to me, I wish to pressure you to name this baby Winifred. WINIFRED. Winnie! Freddie! Winifred Duffie could give us a little bit of an issue of -d running into D-, but I’m not finding it’s causing an issue when I say it: I just pause for the merest moment between the two names. And I suppose Freddie Duffie is a little too much swap-the-letters-around, but I can’t talk myself out of it!

I think Juliet could be added to the middle name list, since you both like it, and since it is very likely from that position to result in any use of the nickname Jules. Vanessa Juliet. Veronica Juliet. Winifred Juliet.

I started thinking “Linnea” (linn-NAY-ah) as I was re-reading the letter, but now I don’t remember why. Linnea Duffie. Linnea Claire Duffie; Linnea Antoinette Duffie; Linnea Juliet Duffie. Linny, Lin, Naya. Oh, I see now: it was because of the cat’s name, Leona. They do share sounds, but they’re not TOO-too similar, and perhaps the cat could rely more on her nicknames.

Theresa, Cassandra, Alice all make me think of Annelise. Annelise Duffie. Annelise Claire Duffie; Annelise Juliet Duffie.

Susanna. Susanna Duffie. Susie, Annie, Anna, Zuzu. Susanna Claire Duffie; Susanna Juliet Duffie.

Cordelia. Cordelia Duffie. Cory, Delia, Lee. Cordelia Claire Duffie; Cordelia Antoinette Duffie; Cordelia Juliet Duffie.

When I think “name with lots of nicknames,” I think Margaret. Margaret Duffie. Meg, Maggie, Daisy (maybe too cute with the surname as a given name, but I think fine as a nickname), Greta, Margo, etc. Margaret Claire Duffie.

Baby Girl M., Sister to Lily; An Honor Name for Roberta/Bobbi

Swistle,

A friend of mine made me aware of your “magic,” after you helped her settle upon a name for two of her three children. So when I was discussing my husband and I struggling with our September due baby girl‘s name (sister to Lily Elizabeth), I knew I needed to reach out to you for help!
One of the most important factors in this naming process, is honoring my mom who passed away almost 3 years ago from a rare form of Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. This pregnancy is particularly hard with not having her here, as she was our family’s everything. Her first name was Roberta (which she hated!), but she went strictly by Bobbi. Her middle name was Lee, but so is my sister’s, making it a little less of a nod to my mom alone.
Bobbi, we have found, is a difficult name to work with as a middle name. We like the first names Lucy and Maya, but we aren’t sure if we like the way Lucy Bobbi (a bit too southern sounding) or Maya Bobbi sounds. It’s also important to note our last name begins with “M,” with input from others stating Maya M is too much. A friend suggested a middle name of BobbiLee, to “soften the flow.”
If you can provide any guidance, suggestions etc., it would be more than appreciated to both myself and my husband… and my mom.

 

Opinions will vary widely here, but I will tell you the three–no, four–options I would be considering if I were you:

  1. Use the middle name Roberta. I know, your mom hated her name. But if I imagine any sort of afterlife, I don’t imagine the residents having the same concerns they had while alive. It is hard to imagine someone looking down from heaven on a new namesake granddaughter and saying “But I HATED my name!!” No: if anything, it seems like someone who is beyond earthly concerns would be more likely to see only the love and honor behind that name choice.

  2. Well, but what if the name Roberta doesn’t feel like Your Mom to you, because she never used it? In that case, I would use the middle name Bobbi. I agree it’s a little tricky to work with (though I think the actress Millie Bobby Brown helps a little); if you just liked it and it wasn’t an honor name, I might suggest choosing something else. But in a situation where using an honor name is one of the most important considerations, I think other considerations (such as rhythm and flow) should bend to accommodate.

  3. I like the possible solution of using Bobbi Lee as the middle (I would use them separately rather than mashing them), especially since it has the potential to improve the flow/rhythm while also increasing the honor.

  4. Or, I realize this is a long shot, but if it were me I would be considering using Roberta as the first name and calling her Birdy. It would be “Roberta, after my mom”—but with an everyday nickname just as your mom had an everyday nickname. Lily and Birdy.

 

I think the name Lucy is very similar to the name Lily, and also that the “two syllables ending in -y/-ie” format is not great with Bobbi, so I would probably let that name bow out in consideration of the honor name. And you’ve said you’re getting feedback that Maya is not great with the surname. So let’s see if we can find more options to consider, and play around with the middle name options to see what sounds good to you. I noticed the name Lily Elizabeth has some repeated sounds, so I included a few choices that lean in to the Bobbi combination with a repeated B and/or long-E sound.

Anna. Anna Roberta. Anna Bobbi. Anna Bobbi Lee. Lily and Anna.

Annabel. Annabel Roberta. Annabel Bobbi. Annabel Bobbi Lee. Lily and Annabel.

Brielle. Brielle Roberta. Brielle Bobbi. Brielle Bobbi Lee. Lily and Brielle.

Camille. Camille Roberta. Camille Bobbi. Camille Bobbi Lee. Lily and Camille.

Celeste. Celeste Roberta. Celeste Bobbi. Celeste Bobbi Lee. Lily and Celeste.

Cleo. Cleo Roberta. Cleo Bobbi. Cleo Bobbi Lee. Lily and Cleo.

Cora. Cora Roberta. Cora Bobbi. Cora Bobbi Lee. Lily and Cora.

Delia. Delia Roberta. Delia Bobbi. Delia Bobby Lee. Lily and Delia.

Elena. Elena Roberta. Elena Bobbi. Elena Bobby Lee. Lily and Elena.

Eva. Eva Roberta. Eva Bobbi. Eva Bobbi Lee. Lily and Eva.

Fiona. Fiona Roberta. Fiona Bobbi. Fiona Bobbi Lee. Lily and Fiona.

Grace. Grace Roberta. Grace Bobbi. Grace Bobbi Lee. Lily and Grace.

June. June Roberta. June Bobbi. June Bobbi Lee. Lily and June.

Kay. Kay Roberta. Kay Bobbi. Kay Bobbi Lee. Lily and Kay.

Nina. Nina Roberta. Nina Bobbi. Nina Bobbi Lee. Lily and Nina.

Noelle. Noelle Roberta. Noelle Bobbi. Noelle Bobbi Lee. Lily and Noelle.

Pearl. Pearl Roberta. Pearl Bobbi. Pearl Bobbi Lee. Lily and Pearl.

Sabrina. Sabrina Roberta. Sabrina Bobbi. Sabrina Bobbi Lee. Lily and Sabrina.

Stella. Stella Roberta. Stella Bobbi. Stella Bobbi Lee. Lily and Stella.

Vivian. Vivian Roberta. Vivian Bobbi. Vivian Bobbi Lee. Lily and Vivian.

Baby Girl or Boy Moody, Sibling to Conrad

Hello!

I am stuck. I have one little boy – Conrad – whose name I absolutely love and adore. Maybe too much because it’s making me not be able to choose another boy name!

I’m due in September with baby #2. We aren’t finding out the gender, but if it’s a girl the name will be Gigi (runners up: Gemma, Penny, Nova and Zara).

I need some boy name ideas. I guess I’m pretty picky because 1) I love Conrad so much and 2) my “requirements”…
-Easy to say
-Easy to understand (I never have to repeat myself when someone asks his name)
-Easy to spell (I’ve never had to spell it for anyone either)
-It’s not a “nickname” for a longer name (I grew up with a nickname my whole life and hated having to correct people when my full name was used)
-More uncommon name, yet known enough to know it’s a name (I’ve only met 1 other Conrad, ever)

It seems like all the boy names I find that fit most of the requirements are too boring or too popular. Some names I like but don’t *love* to give you an idea of what interests me are: Jay, Dean, George, Rome, Clark, Dax, Rocky, and Banks. With the exception of the last two, they all just feel so bland to me.

Last name is Moody. Sounds like Booty which adds to the difficulty… for example: Harry Moody sounds like Harry Booty. I’m sure I’m over thinking this part but the last name adds some limitations because it’s more of a word not a last name to me.

I would LOVE any suggestions or help!

Thank you,

Lexi

 

I am going to start with the nickname issue, because you mention you don’t want a nickname name because you grew up with one and didn’t like it—but your girl-name choice is Gigi, a nickname name; and one of the runners-up is Penny, also a nickname name. Even if you didn’t have a particular objection to nickname names, I would still be pointing out that Gigi seems like a fairly lightweight choice for a girl, particularly when you have a son with the solid serious name Conrad. If your son’s given name were Benny or Alfie (or Jay or Rocky or Dax), then Gigi would still seem lightweight to me, and would still be a nickname name, but it would work with the sibling set; as it is, it sends the presumably unintended message that boys need solid serious names but girls don’t. I strongly recommend reconsidering, and perhaps using Gigi as a nickname for Gemma G_____ Moody, or for Georgia/Georgiana/Geneva/etc.

Some of the names on your boy-name list also strike me as odd with an older brother named Conrad. It isn’t that you must keep to the same style, of course, and in fact the practice of using honor names for a firstborn means people are fairly accustomed to the firstborn having a name of a different style—but it seems wise to consider it going in. Conrad and Jay makes Jay seem lightweight to me; I also grew up with a ton of Jasons going by Jay, so it feels like a nickname as well as a stand-alone name. Conrad and Rome is a startling combination to me (Conrad and Roman would work). I would be throwing my support behind Banks (it’s on your list; you don’t find it bland; it works fine with Conrad) except that I found I disliked the way all -s/-ce names combined with Moody. That’s highly subjective, however, so although I didn’t put them on my list, that doesn’t mean they don’t work.

For a boy, the name that came to mind before I even consulted my baby-name books was Desmond. Similar to Conrad in solid seriousness, it is also fairly easy to pronounce and spell. Conrad and Desmond. More options to consider:

Aidric Moody; Conrad and Aidric
Alfred Moody; Conrad and Alfred
Alistair Moody; Conrad and Alistair
Arthur Moody; Conrad and Arthur
Barnaby Moody; Conrad and Barnaby
Broderick Moody; Conrad and Broderick
Cedric Moody; Conrad and Cedric
Declan Moody; Conrad and Declan
Edmund Moody; Conrad and Edmund
Franklin Moody; Conrad and Franklin
Frederick Moody; Conrad and Frederick
Gideon Moody; Conrad and Gideon
Gordon Moody; Conrad and Gordon
Joel Moody; Conrad and Joel
Leon Moody; Conrad and Leon
Leopold Moody; Conrad and Leopold
Malcolm Moody; Conrad and Malcolm
Miller Moody; Conrad and Miller
Murphy Moody; Conrad and Murphy
Russell Moody; Conrad and Russell
Stanley Moody; Conrad and Stanley
Sullivan Moody; Conrad and Sullivan
Thatcher Moody; Conrad and Thatcher
Thompson Moody; Conrad and Thompson
Torsten Moody; Conrad and Torsten
Victor Moody; Conrad and Victor
Vincent Moody; Conrad and Vincent
Warren Moody; Conrad and Warren
Whitman Moody; Conrad and Whitman
Winston Moody; Conrad and Winston

Baby Girl All-corn, Sister to Stone and August

Hi Swistle! You helped me name my first son in 2018, Stone Jameson (Stone is a beloved surname in my family and my husband is James). Since then, we have had another son August Burgess (both dear family names) and have a baby sister on the way. Our last name is pronounced like all-corn.

We are at a loss! I love a gender-neutral name, though I’ve read your recent posts and understand what that term actually means. I guess I mean that I love a more masculine leaning name for a girl. Our second would have been August, either gender. We don’t have many family names left that appeal to us, but are struggling with plucking a name out of thin air when our other two have names that are so rooted in family history. I also love a “pre-existing noun name”. I understand those are uniquely trendy right now, but it does somewhat fit a theme we unintentionally have going on. I also won’t use a name that’s too high in the top 200. I am in the south, so I am comfortable with a double-name, though it’s probably not my first preference.

One non-negotiable rule that I have is that my father’s middle name: George, must be incorporated somehow. I do not love Georgia but am OK with Georgette, Georgie, Georgeann. Though, frankly, I would probably name her plain old George with an overly feminine middle name if I could get my husband on board. (How hard would your readers roll their eyes at a girl named George? I find it cute but maybe that’s just a demonstration of my commitment to masculine leaning names for girls)

Some non-sentimental names we like but either won’t use or aren’t sold on:
Olive (this was my first choice but my closest friend is using it. It’s unquestionably off the table).
Meritt
Goldie
Louise
Laine
Opal
Iris
Ruby
Astrid
Ingrid
Margot
Graysen
Frances (Frankie)
Miller
Collins
Campbell
Sterling

Some family names that we like but aren’t sold on:
Ellis (tribute to my grandmother, Ellen)
Pearl (tribute to the surname Paryl in my lineage)
Alice (tribute to a grandmother)
Welch, Whitson, Barnes, Conley (family surnames. We see some potential in Emma Welch, Mary Barnes, Ann Conley etc., though they seem almost weak next to Stone and August)
Josephine (only as a potential middle name. Family name on both sides)
Caroline/Carolina (tribute to my MIL Carol. Only as a potential a middle name)

I feel like my taste is somewhat all over the map and we are having a hard time agreeing on anything. I need your help!

 

I’m with you: I would prefer to have some similar family history for her name. I KNOW it’s common to run out of good honor names after a couple of children, and so if there’s nothing left, there’s nothing left—but it feels particularly uncomfortable to have a girl with no significant family names after having two boys with VERY significant family names.

So, looking first at the family names. I feel tepid about the tribute names: when you’ve used Stone-not-Steve, and Burgess-not-[I can’t think of a modified version of Burgess, but you get my meaning], it seems like even more of a diluted honor to switch to modified names for the daughter. How is Paryl pronounced, and is Paryl a recent and beloved family surname (as opposed to something unfamiliar discovered way back in the family tree)? She would have to spell it and pronounce it for people her entire life, but it would certainly be a meaningful and distinctive and significant name. If it is pronounced like Peril, I might save it as a middle name. Well, or I might just seize upon the roller-derby-style coolness of it, and also claim that it honored my mother-in-law by rhyming with her name! Stone, August, and Paryl. This is really growing on me. “It’s a family name” is just such a good and simple and satisfying explanation, and I would not personally object to being named Paryl if it were a family surname. Paryl George All-corn. Nickname Parry/Perry, or she could go by Georgie. In one paragraph I have talked myself into this being my first choice.

Conley leaps out at me as another possible first name. Stone, August, and Conley. Conley All-corn. Conley Georgette All-corn.

I am thinking about Whitson. The Whit- of names such as Whitney; the -son like in Allison and Madison. Hm. I think it works. If I saw it in the wild I might guess it was a boy name, but I would not be shocked to learn I was wrong, and also I remember you are in favor of boyish names for girls. Stone, August, and Whitson. Whitson All-corn. Whitson Georgina All-corn.

You mention Ann in a couple of contexts, which along with George makes me think of Georgianna. I like the way it makes Georgie such a natural nickname, or maybe she’s more of an Annie and that would be available to her too. Georgianna Paryl All-corn. Georgianna Whitson All-corn. Georgianna Josephine All-corn.

If a family first name just won’t work out, a name I’d pull from the won’t use / aren’t sold on (I’d be hoping it was the latter) list is Laine, which I’d spell Lane to increase the unisex/noun aspect. Stone, August, and Lane. Lane George All-corn.

A name from my own list you may have already considered but it came to mind because of Olive and Iris and Ruby and so forth: Ivy. Stone, August, and Ivy. Ivy George All-corn.

Baby Girl Stove Marriott

Dear Swistle,

I’ve been a long-time reader of your blog, and I finally have the opportunity to ask advice from you and your readers! My husband and I are expecting a baby girl (our first) in the beginning of August. Our style tends towards classic, feminine names, with a preference for names that are “vintage revival” or reflect Irish heritage. My last name is Stove with an “n” instead of a “v”, and my husband’s last name sounds similar to Marriott. We plan on giving the baby the last name “Stove Marriott” with no hyphen. We have also considered making Stove a second middle name, but I worry it will get lost in the shuffle. We are leaning towards Eileen as a middle name (an honor name from my side of the family), but it could be changed.

Our top two:
Rose Eileen
Catherine Eileen

Our short list (for a sense of our naming style and potential future siblings):
Eleanor (nn Nora)
Brigid
Ada
Grace (don’t like the run-in “s” sound with Stove)
Mary
Margaret (nn Maggie)
Fiona
Maeve

For a boy, we were considering John or Patrick.

We have 2 major questions.

1. Does “Rose Stove Marriott” create an issue with the s/z sound in Rose running into Stove? As this name has floated around my head, it has sounded like less of an problem, but unfortunately the opposite has happened as my husband mulls it over!

2. Nicknames- I worry that Catherine will be given a nickname, and I prefer the long version of the name. We could envision using Kitty as a nickname at home, but I wouldn’t want that or another nickname to become her main name. I know she might choose a nickname herself as she gets older. Should this concern make us not use the name? On the other hand, some names on our short list (Eleanor, Margaret) dropped out of the top two because I envision calling her exclusively by the nickname, and not using the full name very often. This may not be a huge dealbreaker though! Do you have any advice on how to consider nicknames when choosing a name?

Thank you so much!

 

When I was first testing out the name Rose with the surname, I accidentally used the substitute surname instead of the real one. I tried it a few times, increasingly thinking “I WANT to be able to say it’s okay, and that PLENTY of names have a non-ideal sound and it’s FINE—but the Rose/Stove part hits my ear and mouth completely wrong: like a rhyme plus a tongue-twister (not just the -z/St- but also the matching single-syllable and matching long-O), and the almost-rhyme is somehow worse than if it were an actual rhyme.” Then I realized my mistake and tried it with the actual surname, and it seems much, much better to me. I still agree it has a bit of an unusual sound, and requires a little careful enunciation—but I just attended a graduation and heard thousands of names read aloud, and there are a lot of names out there that have an unusual sound and require a little careful enunciation, and everyone just goes with it and it’s no big deal.

Still, I felt some relief when I turned my mind to the Catherine option, which doesn’t have an unusual sound. I know a fair number of Catherines/Katherines/Kathryns of various ages, and here is what I have noticed about nicknames among the ones I know: The ones my mom’s age all go by Kathy/Cathy, exclusively. The ones my age all go by Kate or Katie, except for one whose parents gave her the by-then-already-dated nickname Kathy, and now as an adult she goes by Katherine. The ones in my kids’ generation go by Catherine or by Kat/Cat, and I can only think of one who goes by Katie. I have not encountered anyone going by Kit, but I would love to see that be the next standard nickname.

My advice about nicknames starts with saying that I feel a little uncertain about them, too. For our second child, who turned out to be a boy, our frontrunner girl name was Elizabeth. By the time we actually had a girl, I had decided I disliked all of the nicknames for Elizabeth and ONLY liked the full name, and so that ruled it out as a first name for me: I didn’t think I’d have much trouble getting her called Elizabeth as a child, but thought she could very well choose a nickname when she was older. On the other hand: it is fairly common for parents to think they don’t want a nickname, and then a nickname happens and the parents find they love it, and they see the nickname in a new light now that it’s attached to their actual child, and they feel the nickname suits the child far better than the full name. On the third hand, I had a coworker whose parents named her Elizabeth, and they hated the nickname Liz so they called her Beth right from the start in order to avoid it—and by the time she was in high school she was calling herself Liz and not Beth, and ten years later when I was working with her, she said they still hated the name Liz. So I have wondered if my decision not to use Elizabeth was a good one, or a misguided one. Well, but I love the name we DID choose so much more, it’s hard to even consider that at this point.

Keeping all that in mind, my GENERAL feeling is that if either parent ACTIVELY DISLIKES (as opposed to just preferring to avoid) any of the familiar nicknames for a particular name, it would be better to find a different name—and perhaps use the not-to-be-nicknamed name as a middle name, where it can be enjoyed without nearly as much concern about nicknames.

As for the issue of not really wanting to use Eleanor or Margaret because you think you’d almost exclusively use Nora/Maggie, that isn’t something that bothers me at all, and in fact I come down on the side of liking the whole idea of a formal full name and an everyday nickname—but I do know there are people who prefer to avoid it. I think I’d make the decision in the same way: Is it that you ACTIVELY DISLIKE the idea of the child being called by the full name, and you’re ONLY choosing the name in order to get the nickname? Or is it that you’re fine with them growing up and deciding they’d rather be called Eleanor/Margaret, and it’s just you’d PREFER to stick with the nickname?

I was looking over the rest of the short list to see if there were any I wanted to push you to consider using this time, and I notice that Fiona has the same repeating -on- sound of the first segment of the surname, which could be a plus or a minus. Margaret has the same starting letters (Mar-) and similar ending letters of Marriott (-et/-ott)—but perhaps that actual segment of the surname is different enough that it’s not an issue. Similarly: Mary repeats the first two syllables of the second half of the surname—unless it actually doesn’t.

Baby Boy Kennedy, Brother to Alivia

Hi,

We are beyond struggling with a baby name for our baby boy. I’m 37 1/2 weeks along and could be induced as early as 38 weeks (ahhh!) and we don’t have any true possibilities for names. I am completely stressed as I’m usually someone who’s quite prepared and we’re so far away from a name, which is kind of a big deal.

Our last name is Kennedy which is Scottish. My name is Brittany. My husband’s name is Kyle and our daughter’s name is Alivia.
Choosing her name was easy. Alivia was the top of my list, and it was the only name my husband liked. Done and done ✔️

We are the last of our friends to have a family. We struggled with fertility with my daughter. We found out 3 days before we were supposed to start fertility treatments again that we were pregnant with this baby. He is truly a miracle. He also survived a blood clot in my uterus during the pregnancy. Double miracle.

Because we are the last of our friends, there are a lot of names that we feel we cannot use. My best friend’s son’s name is Karver. I always had Carter/Karter in mind, but I feel they’re too similar and we spend a lot of time together. Some other names that have been used with close friends of ours that we liked were Austin, Owen, Jackson and Dylan.

My husband tends to prefer more traditional names. I don’t like them to be too unique but definitely more unique than traditional names.

I liked the names Kade (my friend just named her baby this 2 weeks ago:( ) Knox, Kane and Jax. I feel like I do prefer strong short names that start with a K or C.

The only names that we have even entertained that my husband has not shot down (although none feel like ‘the name’) is Hunter, Lincoln and Konnor.

Please help!

Thank you,
Brittany

 

Time is of the essence, so I am going to skip the chit-chat and go right to list-making:

Beckett
Blake
Caleb
Callan
Calvin
Carson
Casey
Cason/Kason
Clark
Claude
Clay
Clive
Cody
Colby
Cole
Corbin
Corin
Cormac
Crosby
Davis
Decker
Declan
Ezra
Finn
Kai (possibly too confusing with a father Kyle)
Keane
Keaton
Keegan
Kellan
Keller
Kian
Kieran
Kip
Lawson
Leo
Luke
Mack
Miller
Nico
Oscar
Parker
Quinn
Ranger
Riker/Ryker
Wade
Wilson
Zane

One chit-chat: I want to make sure your husband is sharing the hard work of coming up with names, and not just vetoing the ones you come up with.