Jess writes:

I hope you and your readers can help. You’d think that after reading your Baby Name Blog for so long that I’d have more ideas and wouldn’t need help…but I do! My due date is January 15th, but my family is very crafty and wants a name to embroider on bibs, quilts, etc., ASAP Which is stressing me out! I have a daughter who is 9.5 and name choosing for her was EASY. I knew at least a month before the ultrasound what her name would be if she was a boy or a girl. My daughter’s name is very uncommon, it’s like Mattea but spelled differently. Our last name sounds like “Schloff”, I’m not really concerned with the name flowing since she’s a girl, and her last name may change one day. Plus, nothing really sounds right with it anyway. The one name I did fall in love with for a girl was Ava. But it is so popular, and I feel that since my older daughter has such an uncommon name, that I should follow that trend. Plus, my name was extremely common growing up, and I hated being the fourth girl in class with that name. The middle name will be Jane (after my mother) and Ava Jane just sounded so cute to me. I also would prefer an obvious girl name. Some names we have considered:

Lila (Layla and Lola are out as close friends have daughters with these names)
Emmalyn (I like it and it didn’t rank in the top 1,000)
Annabelle (which is a familiar name, but not popular)
Eliana (I really like this one because the meaning in Hebrew is “My God has answered me”, and we didn’t know if I’d ever be able to get pregnant again, which I desperately wanted….but don’t know if it’s the one, also, my neighbor is pregnant and this is one of her favorites too, but her husband hates it, and she doesn’t know if she’s having a boy or girl, but mine is due first, and she did say the name was mine if I wanted it…but I feel like I’m hijacking!)
Elena (which my daughter vetoed because a girl on her bus has this name and is “mean”)
Ellery (which my family associates as being a boy name, so that’s out)
Olivia (too popular)
Amelia (also rising)
Nora (I feel so-so about this one)
Adah (which I also liked for the meaning, “A beautiful addition”)

Also, to make matters worse, another neighbor of mine is pregnant (the three of us form a triangle) and due in December, she also isn’t finding out what she’s having, but I’m paranoid that it will be a girl and she’ll pick the name I settle on (not intentionally), so I feel like I need a lot of backups! Also, don’t drink the water here unless you want to get pregnant, NONE of us were trying, and now we’re all due weeks apart!)

Thanks to you and your readers for any suggestions!

 
To me, the clear stand-out from your list is Eliana. It’s one you love, it has extra meaning for you, and I think it’s the best one with Mattea. I mean, that is a gorgeous combination, similar in style yet still nicely separate: Mattea and Eliana. I love it. I feel like pressuring you to use it.

Is the reason it feels like hijacking that you got the idea of the name from your neighbor, or did you both just happen to have it on your lists? Though the former would give me some pause, too, it still seems to me that you should use it: she’s fine with it, and it would feel so awful if you gave up the name you loved and then she had a boy, or had a girl but her husband wouldn’t agree to the name anyway.

Also, I would like to send a message to your family: STEP BACK. Let’s not put additional PRESSURE on such an important decision. There is PLENTY of time to personalize items in the days after the baby is born (the baby will not need a personalized bib or quilt IN THE HOSPITAL), and in fact it gives everyone something fun to do right after they hear the happy news of the birth.

Name update! Jess writes:

It seems like everyone was pulling for “Eliana” (both due to how beautiful the name is and the special meaning behind it), but on 1/25 she was born and we named her Ava Jane. She was 8lbs 1oz and 20 inches long. 6 1/2 weeks later, she’s nearing 9lbs, but not quite there. She is a petite little thing, and I read once that Ava means “bird like” (which…boring!), but she is! I wanted to thank you and the readers for the help, even though I ended up going with my first choice. It’s safe to say though that I *might* be having a bit of name regret. Everyone I introduce her to says, “Oh, my new granddaughter is named Ava” or “Oh, we just enrolled two Ava’s in our class!” Argh! But, I knew that was bound to happen and for the most part, I call her by her full name of Ava Jane, so it sets her apart a little bit…right?

Thanks again!

Nicole writes:

We’re expecting our first child, a girl, on 1/11/11, and cannot decide on a middle name. Our last name is Ogle. Her first name will be Reese, but can’t settle on a middle name that we both like and that flows nicely with our last name. The middle names we’ve considered are:

Elizabeth – don’t want to use because of a family dispute

Irene – my grandmothers’ names, but don’t think it sounds right

Nicole – my name

Renee – my middle name

Isabelle

We’re not attached to using a family name but kind of liked the idea of honoring both great-grandmothers. We mostly just want a middle name that sounds good between Reese and Ogle.

Any suggestions?

Thanks!!

Similar in rhythm and sound to Elizabeth (but without the family dispute) is Felicity: Reese Felicity Ogle.

Another name with the rhythm of Elizabeth is Olivia: Reese Olivia Ogle.

I also like Reese Miranda Ogle.

Another possibility is a hybrid I saw recently: Elizabelle. It gives you Elizabeth and Isabelle, and it sounds very pretty with the other names: Reese Elizabelle Ogle. This does give the initials REO (as in REO Speedwagon), but I’m guessing a ’70s/’80s band isn’t going to be the kind of thing elementary school students will be familiar with. I mention it only because that’s the sort of thing I like to think through and accept in advance, rather than suddenly realizing it after the baby has been named.

The name Irene isn’t perfect as a middle name for Reese, but it’s good—and in fact, the more I think of it, the more I like it. I think if you don’t have a strong feeling about a particular middle name, you might feel pleased later on if you used a name that reminded you of both of your grandmothers. Then if anyone ELSE didn’t think the flow was perfect, they’d think, “Well, but it’s a FAMILY name”—an explanation that covers a great deal of imperfection. And it’s so rare for a name to be said in full. Yes, I think if I were you I’d use Irene.

Name update! Nicole writes:

We went with Reese Nicole. We just thought it sounds better together. But we’re planning on using Irene for our next girl’s middle name (assuming we have another girl, that is) :)

Thanks!

Jack writes:

I am Jack and my wife is Emily. Em’s stressing that we will never find the perfect name.
She says that it needs to be made up of one 1 syllable name and one 3 syllable name because our last name has 2… (first I’ve heard of this rule!)
And we’ll find a name we like and then she finds something wrong with it (eg Finn… nick name Finny, sounds like Fanny)
We’re looking to give our child one middle name and a first name this is either easy to nickname or only one syllable

Girls:
Isabelle Kate or Aveline May – we’d choose when we see her…

Boys:
Harrison Finn – Would probably go by Finn, but as I said above, a problem has been found with this.
Sebastian Jake – Don’t know if Sebastian sounds a little frilly (Jake is trying to counteract that) We would like a little Seb, but wonder if he’d like a ‘proper’ name for job interveiws etc
Seth Everett – Don’t like Seth as much as Seb, but it’s good because it’s a full name rather than a nick name
Tom Everett – Again, the ‘proper name’ dilemma.

So, if you could give your opinion, esp a different middle name for Harrison we could use as his primary name, that’d be great!

Thanks so much! Ps, baby will have my last name, which starts with an L and ends in an ‘ah’ sound.

Emily writes:

My husband, Jack, emailed you earlier today about our dilemma of finding the perfect boy’s name…
I just wanted to let you know that he left Miles off the list!
It has an L in it, which I’m not a fan of seeing as ‘it’s last name will start with an L
We’re from the UK and pronounce the last name Lah-nah (like Car, but with an L and then again with an N!!)
Thanks so much, I hope you read this in time… I quite like the idea of having a little Milo!

Let’s immediately loosen the unnecessary syllable restrictions: an individual might prefer one rhythm of syllables over another, but there are absolutely no naming rules about it. But this means you’ve been concentrating only on names of one or three syllables, and have neglected whole SWATHS of name candidates.

I definitely think it’s a good idea to consider nickname potential—but I don’t think you need to worry about the words that only rhyme with potential nicknames of the MIDDLE name. And so I think Harrison Finn is fine the way it is and the “fanny” connection is distant at most. If Finn is nevertheless out of the running, Harrison Jake is also nice. I personally prefer the rhythm of 3-2-2 here: Harrison Jacob Lah-nah.

Wait—re-reading the letter, it sounds like you want to call the baby by his middle name if Harrison is used as a first name? Why? If it’s because Harrison is a family name but you don’t want to call the baby by it, I’d move it to the middle name slot: Everett Harrison Lah-nah, for example. I’d likely use a 2-syllable first name: Emmett Harrison Lah-nah, Jacob Harrison Lah-nah.

But Sebastian Jake is my favorite from your list. I also like Thomas Everett, with the nickname Tom, although the repeating “ah” sounds of Tom Lah-nah might be too much.

Miles Lah-nah sounds nice to me, but Milo Lah-nah starts tangling my tongue.

You mention that the baby will have the father’s surname, which means there is another option for the middle name: using the mother’s surname.

Name update! Emily writes:

We didn’t even go with a name on the list – But Sean Jacob was born on the 8th at 7 pounds- Ten fingers, ten toes, and a name both Mummy and Daddy love!!!

Lisa writes:

My name is Lisa and my husband is Vincent (usually goes by Vince) and we are expecting baby #3 on January 11, 2011. Our last name is Knuffman pronounced Ku-nuff-man. We have two daughters named Sophie Marie and Harper Lynn. If we have another girl she will be Tess Rose or Tess Olivia.
We are struggling with boy names. There are names that we like, but nothing seems to be “it.” The middle name will be Paul, which is a family name.

Names in the running:

Beckett – I love this name, but hubby isn’t thrilled with it.
Warren – This is hubby’s favorite, but I’m not that into it. He suggested the nickname Wren/Ren and I like that, but I don’t want to name my child based on a nickname.
Foster
Reuben
Simon – only issue with this name is the middle name with it. Simon Paul just makes me think of the Paul Simons.
Miles – I like, but hubby doesn’t.
Roman – both of us like this name, but we are very close friends with a family that has a boy named Rowan and we thought they sounded too similar.
Keaton – doesn’t sound very good with our last name

Any suggestions?

Name update! Lisa writes:

Our baby girl was born on January 19, 2011. About a week before she was born I told my husband we had to go back to the drawing board with girl names. For some reason I just couldn’t name her Tess. So, she is Stella Rose. It fits her perfectly.
Thanks to all your readers for their suggestions! If we ever have a boy we’ll definitely keep them in mind.

Savannah writes:

We are really hoping that you can help us out so I’m writing to you way in advance, so I hope you can get to my question!

We are expecting our 4th child, gender unknown, due around January 10th, 2011. Older siblings are Cameron John, Jacob Ryan and Amelia Emily “Cam, Jake and Mia”. We would like a modern name with a nice nickname for them, but still their full name to fall back on. We seem to have a good list of girl’s names going, but we would still like your opinion. Boys on the other hand? We have absolutely no idea and have no names in mind. Please help us. Our list of girls names:

Abigail- we love this name, but we have tried as hard as possible to avoid same initials with the kids
Lucia- we’re worried that everyone will pronounce it “loo-sha” instead of “lu-see-ah”
Brooklyn- love the name, but we have a nephew named Brooks
Delaney- I LOVE this name, but the hubby isn’t that thrilled with it

Please help!!!!

Name update! Savannah writes:

So sorry this is so late, but I just wanted to let you know that our daughter Lucia Brooke (last name) “Lucy” was born on January 6th, 2011, weighing in at a petite 5lbs. 9 oz. Thank you so much for your readers help with her name. We have had no problems with pronunciation of her name, even though we do introduce her as Lucy to most people. We compromised and instead of Brooklyn as a middle name, we used Brooke. Thank you again!

Somer writes:

We’re expecting our first child the first week of January (due date is 1/6/11). We don’t know whether it’s a boy or girl, but quite truthfully we’re comfortable with our girl names and are truly struggling with boy names. And, we’re both convinced it’s a boy – go figure!

Just for informative purposes, we’re pretty certain that the girl name will be Ruby Marie. We both love Ruby because it’s simple, classic and not too popular or too out there (plus it’s my birth stone:). The middle name is my grandmother’s name and my husband’s grandmother was Mary, which wouldn’t go with Ruby (ends in Y), so Marie is a good mix and a solid middle name (we think). Other possibilities we have for a girl include: Stella, Penelope, Olive, Mia or Camilla (calling her Milly, though I’m not huge into naming one name with the intention of calling the baby something else).

Our last name is pretty long. When spoken properly, it’s three syllables. Begins with a J and ends in ss. So, that basically nixes anything ending in an S.

Even without knowing the gender, we get asked about the name all the time. I think this is what’s causing us our boy name trouble. We both really love Winston. But, mostly everyone that we’ve told hates the name. My Mom says it reminds her of the cigarettes, some say they know yappy dogs by that name and others say it’s pretentious (among other critiques). It’s definitely still on the top of the list – the front runner – but something inside me is not quite 100% sure. If it’s a boy and we go with Winston, the middle name will be James. That’s my husband’s middle name and his father and grandfathers’ as well. Plus, it sounds nice together. Other possibilities that we have for boy are: Oscar (my husband loves, but I’m not sure), Liam (my husband loves, I’m not sure), Milo (I like, my husband doesn’t), and Oliver (we both like). There is one more thing. IF..it’s a boy and IF…he happens to come on January 9 (which is possible with a January 6 due date), then that would be my grandfather’s 100th birthday and I would LOVE to use at least one of his names (plus it’s the same name as my Dad) – Norman or Cornelius.

So, that’s where we are with our baby naming issue. Any help, suggestions, or advice is greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much.

Oh, now I am all excited for a baby boy to be born on January 9th! Wouldn’t that be FUN?? I might use either of the names as middle name—or, and I think this is more likely, I’d use both: [First name, whatever you choose] [Norman Cornelius] [Surname]. This lets you dramatically increase the namesakey impact without having to use the name(s) in the first name slot. And in my own experience, two middle names isn’t too much of a hassle.

Winston does make me think slightly of cigarettes (or, more accurately, of a handsome rugged man on a horse in a cigarette ad), but only a little bit, and only because I haven’t yet known a little boy named Winston. For me a far stronger association is Winston Churchill, and I’ve had a crush on Winston Churchill ever since seeing a musical version of one of his speeches. Yappy dog versus “Lift up your hearts, all will come right”? No contest.

But if it continues to seem not quite right, I suggest Winslow. It has much of the same sound, but softer and no associations with cigarettes or with British politicians, and it goes well with Ruby in case you later have a girl. Weston would work, too, though it seems to me it drifts away from your style. Maybe Warren? Wilson? I seem to be getting hung up on W names. Oliver is another of my long-standing favorites, and it too would go very well with a potential future sister named Ruby.

I also suggest not telling anyone the name until the baby is born and they’d have to state their objections to his soft little newborn cheeks.

Name update! Somer writes:

Hi there – thanks so much for your input and help with our baby name (posted December 10). Our baby boy (we guessed it) came a week early and was born on December 30 at 7:26am. We actually had gotten the name from Winston as in Churchill – I forgot to mention that my husband is British – and we ended up going with Winston James. We’re even going to put some famous Winston Churchill quotes on his bedroom wall. Like you said, once he was here, nobody really cared about the name; people now even say they like it. Perhaps Norman or Cornelius will find their way into a future child’s name.

Ashley writes:

My partner and I are expecting our first on January 2 (That’s the truth so no crying baby Jesus) and we are having some conflict on the perfect name. We are set on the middle name Mae as it is a family name for us both. I like the name Taylor but was quickly shot down as she has a huge dislike of Taylor swift. We also liked Harper for a long time, but its growing popularity has made us shy away from it. Georgia,Charlotte, and Caroline are in the same boat. She really loves McLaine, but its a total no for me. We have a few parameters for choosing the name. 1.) we do not want an overly trendy name i.e. Aiden, Braden, Caden, Emma, Ava, etc. 2.) must have nick names 3.) we would like a name that is feminine, in other words we don’t want the little girl with the 2 mommies to have the boy name, but we are open to Unisex names like Reagan and Jordan. 4.) because the last name, Annest-Clark we don’t want the baby to have a too long of a name.

So far the top names in no particular order are:

Everleigh
Mattea
Madigan
Rory
Mirabel
Tatum

Thanks for your help.

I have trouble adding to your list—it seems like exactly the right list! I will see if I can narrow it down a little.

Madigan has the nickname Maddy, which means she would be sharing with all the Madisons and Madeleines; it might be a little annoying to have people continually assuming your daughter’s name was Madison.

Rory lacks nicknames.

I think my favorite is Everleigh: it’s pretty and feminine and has good nicknames and sounds good with the middle name. If you want to reduce the length of the name, you could spell it Everly.

Name update! Ashley writes:

We welcomed our baby girl on December 18th, more than two weeks early! She is a healthy, happy baby. We went a totally different direction with our name than we thought. Her name is Olivia Mae, and the name suits her perfectly. Thanks for your advice and all the suggestions of readers, Merry Christmas!

Sara writes:

We’re expecting our first child, a girl, on Jan 1, 2011! The name conversation has been a battle right from the very beginning, with both of us falling in and out of love with different names, but never agreeing on any. We’ve both had lots of ideas, but there’s been no overlap at all…please help!!!

I’m a Sara, and there were always 2-3 Sara(h)s in every class I was in growing up. I’m not keen on common names as a result. I suppose, like most of the people who write to you, we’re looking for something that is not overly common, not made-up or spelled ‘creatively’, and not overly trendy sounding. We both like unisex names, and he especially tends not to like girly names. He loves names that sound like boyish nicknames. I don’t mind if she has a nickname, but want her to have a proper name for when she grows up. Also, the names I like don’t really fit any particular style, but rather tend to be soft sounding, with lots of vowels and no harsh consonants.

Her middle name will be Agnes, for a dearly loved great aunt, and her last name will be Winters.

Names I like:
Esra (my all-time fav girl name. he hates it, says it’s too weird.)
Naomi
Marlow (my #1, since Esra is out of the running. nn Molly, would that work? don’t like Marly)
Esme (he hates this one the least, lol)
Arianna
Eithne

Names he likes:
Sasha
Corwin
Tamsin
Nico (his #1)
Anika
Luca

We’ve been through hundreds of names, and he doesn’t like any of the ones I like. And I don’t really like any of his suggestions, although I do like Nico as a nickname for something that isn’t a variant of Nicole.

A few ideas I’ve considered to try to meld his liking of short, boyish nicknames with my wish for a proper but not too girly name:

Nikita, nn Nico
Anika, nn Nico
Micah, nn Miki
Larkin, nn Lark

I don’t really love any of them. The full names all sound a bit harsh to me, with the hard consonants. For some reason those same sounds in the nicknames don’t bother me.

I’m at a total loss…I’d welcome any suggestions at all!!!

 
Because I tend to avoid initials that spell things, I would probably avoid names that started with C, J, L, P, R, and S.

A good exercise for finding names, especially with a first child, is to think about what names you might want to use for future children of the opposite sex. This can prevent problems with choosing a name for a girl and then finding later on that it’s too close to your favorite boy names. (We had this with our firstborn: his name, as it turned out, completely eliminates one of my favorite girl names.)

My first suggestion is Georgia. Georgia Winters is wonderful, and Georgia is a boyish name without being at all a boy’s name. Georgie is such a cute nickname, as is George, as is Gigi.

You wouldn’t want to consider Agnes as the first name, would you? It’s uncommon, non-girly, and sounds wonderful with your surname.

I’m going to turn this one over to the readers, because I find I’m completely stymied!

Name update! Sara writes:

We went over all the comments your readers submitted several times, but still couldn’t agree. We each whittled our lists down to our top 3 and decided not to think about it anymore until she arrived.

Which she did on January 11 – the birthday of my great aunt Agnes, whose name we had already decided we would use for her middle name! Once she was born it seemed obvious to both of us that her name was Marlo. Since the name was one of my choices, we went with the spelling that my partner preferred (no W on the end). The names don’t really go together, but they’re perfect for her :)

Many thanks to you and your readers, the suggestions were all beautiful :)

Ellen writes:

I want to ask your opinion of the name Kate, which is one of the few girl names both my husband and I agree upon. Specifically, because I happen to be one of the many people interested in William and Kate’s engagement and the upcoming royal wedding, I’m wondering if you think that all of the interest in the couple is going to cause a rise in the popularity in the name Kate/Catherine. I don’t mind names in the top 100, but I don’t want a trendy name. I looked up Diana on Name Voyager, and it doesn’t look like there was a spike in that name in the early 80’s here in the U.S. So, perhaps my concern is for naught? (Also, something relevant to my particular situation is that if we have a son–either with this pregnancy or in the future–he will quite possibly be named William after a family member.) I’d appreciate your thoughts!

 
Oh, interesting question about whether Kate/Catherine will get more popular! And…I don’t know! On one hand it brings the name to our attention, and on the other hand there are a lot of people who are probably saying right this minute, “Well, we can’t use Kate now—everyone would think we used it because of Kate Middleton.”

Okay, I will make a prediction, but then I want to hear everyone else’s: my prediction is that there will be no net effect on the name—that some people will be MORE inclined to use it, and that those people will balance out those people who will be LESS inclined to use it. I also predict that it will be very difficult to tell the effect, since the name Kate is used as a standalone name AND as a nickname.

To answer the second part of that question, I don’t think the name Kate/Catherine CAN get trendy. I think it’s too established a name to even have that potential. Even if it got into the top ten, it would always be a traditional/classic name, not trendy. (Now, if Middleton were to take off, that would be a different story!)

And to answer the part about your particular pregnancy: In my opinion, from now on each family may have EITHER or a Kate OR a William—just as each family may currently have a Charles OR a Diana.

Name update! Ellen writes:

My husband and I had a little girl in June, and Kate remained a front-runner for her name up until the end of my pregnancy. However, we disagreed on if we’d name her Katherine and call her Kate or if we’d just name her Kate, and William is the name we’re quite set on if we do have a boy someday. Those two things caused us to scrap Kate. We ended up naming our daughter Emeline Anne. We pronounce the last syllable like the last syllable of Caroline…I read your post about the pronunciation of Emmaline with great interest! I have a small amount of namer’s remorse because I fret over Emeline needing to spell and pronounce her name for the rest of her life, but we really do love the name. Here’s a picture of our Emmy:

Thanks for addressing my question, Swistle, and thank you to the commenters who weighed in, too!