Madelyn writes:

My husband and I are expecting our third child, a son in late March 2011 and we cannot agree on a name at all. We have 2 daughters together named Delaney Evelyn and Amelia Callyn. With Delaney (nickname Laney), it is my mother-in-law’s maiden name and Evelyn was my grandmother’s name. Amelia was a little more complicated to name. I wanted the name Mia for her, but my husband argued that it was not a full enough name and so Amelia was the comprimise, even though 95% of the time, I call her Mia. Her middle name came from her paternal grandfather (Cal) and the ending of name (-lyn). With baby #3, my husband and I just cannot seem to agree on a name. Our list is:

Jacob Landon- I love this name, but it has just become so popular these days especially where we live.
Dylan/Dillon- He loves this name, but I am on the fence about it
Nolan- my brother in law recently had a little girl name Noelle, so we don’t know about this one.
Cameron- I love this name, but hubby is on the fence about it.

Names we have taken off our list:
Henry, Luca, Everett, Emmett, Connor, Sawyer, Dean, Liam, Evan

Thank you!

Since the girls have family names, are there any boy family names you’d like to use? Some other possibilities:

Austin
Braden
Caleb
Callum
Camden
Carson
Darian
Declan
Devin
Ethan
Kellan
Nathan
Owen
Quinlan
Rillian
William
Wyatt

I hesitated with some of the D names, wondering if they were too close to Delaney. But since Dylan isn’t too close, and since you call her Laney, I left them in.

I was also uncertain about a number of names that could look like surnames: with a surname that is also used as a first name, it seemed like a surnamey first name might cause more confusion.

I thought Wyatt Scott seemed like kind of a cool name with all those double Ts. Elliott Scott would give a similar effect.

If Cameron is not quite right, Camden or Callum might work.

If Dylan is not quite right, Darian or Declan or Devin or Kellen might work.

If Nolan is not quite right, Kellan or Nathan or Owen or Quinlan might work.

If Jacob is not quite right, Caleb might work.

If Landon is not quite right, Logan or Brogan or Brolin or Brody or Brandon or Lachlan might work.

And any on-the-fence name might work better as a middle name. Caleb Dillon Scott. Camden Jacob Scott. Wyatt Nolan Scott.

Name update! Madelyn writes:

Well our baby boy finally arrived on April 3rd, 2011, 2 weeks late! We went into the delivery room with a choice between the names Kellan and Caleb, both from your suggestions. When our son arrived though, the names did not suit him well at all and it was back to the computer to look at other suggestions from you and your commentators. We looked back and I realized that my heart had all along been staying with Jacob, a name I have loved for a long time. So, it came to be that our son is named Jacob Rillian. Rillian was used to give the name a little flair and I love it because I’ve never heard it on another child before. Thank you!

Carolyn writes:

I’m currently pregnant with a little boy (my first baby!) and am due March 14. Until we started talking about specific names, I was totally unaware that my husband and I had such wildly different views on names, and the process of trying to find one we both like is FREAKING ME OUT! ;) (Which of course means that all ANYBODY asks us lately is what we are going to name the baby! As if traveling for the holidays, being pregnant, and having to find a new place to live all at the same time wasn’t stressful enough!)

I have been leanings towards fairly traditional names that lend themselves to a shortened version and won’t condemn my baby to a life of having to correct people on the pronunciation or spelling (Andrew, Edward, Jeffrey, James, Daniel, etc.). I don’t want to choose a super popular name, but I’m not AS concerned about him having to go by Jacob R (our last name is Russell) because there are so many Jacobs in his class someday, as I am with the idea of him having to tell people, “No, it’s spelled J-A-K-O-B” for his whole life (and I know this seems crazy, but spelling a name differently to make it unique entirely changes my feelings about the name. A baby named Jacob evokes cuddly maternal feelings from me. A baby named Jakob does NOT. It actually makes me feel kind of stabby, and I really don’t want to feel stabby towards my baby!)

My husband’s primary concern with baby names is that it not be common (and he’s an engineer, so he’s going onto websites and finding data to support what percent of the population already has a certain name. All of the above mentioned names were ruled out for being too common). It also can’t be a Biblical name, and it can’t be the name of anyone he knows (that last part doesn’t help you out very much, but I thought you should know what I’m working with, here!) He hasn’t brought very many options to the table yet, so it’s important to me that I don’t quash all of his ideas without being constructive. However, I’m just not fans of Kelvin (the temperature scale! And everyone will think his name is Calvin, he’ll spend his whole life correcting people! And the only nickname is Kel, which is like Keenen & Kel, and I don’t want to reference ancient Nickelodean shows with my baby!) or Ajax (ah, it’s a cleanser, like Comet! Which makes you vomit! I don’t want my baby associated with gritty sink cleansers!) I was hopeful about the name Jackson, until my husband decided that he only likes it if it is spelled Jaxon (see previous comments on stabby feelings towards unique spellings and having to constantly tell people how to spell something that sounds simple). I’ve tried finding out if there is something about those particular names that he is drawn to, in an effort to find similar names that I don’t feel as strongly opposed to (I don’t mind the idea of naming our baby after some famous scientist or a strong Greek warrior, if they were names that also seemed easy to spell and pronounce and not terribly likely to evoke beatings from kids on the playground) but I think what he likes most about them is that they are unusual.

I’m hoping that you can help me with the seemingly impossible: do you have suggestions for traditional/non-Biblical/uncommon names? :) I’ve tried looking at baby name books and websites, but (shockingly!) they don’t usually have a column for that ;) And for the sake of my mental health, I need ideas! :)

Thanks so much!

 
You are among friends: many of us here won’t think it’s remotely crazy to feel that a name is changed by spelling it differently—whether it’s a legitimate alternate spelling or one done in an attempt to make a name less common. I certainly feel differently about Jakob versus Jacob, or Madison versus Maddisyn, or Katherine versus Catherine, or Sophia versus Sofia, or Jeffrey versus Geoffrey.

The Baby Name Wizard (try to find a copy with the hot-pink “fully revised and updated” circle on the cover—Amazon claims to have that version only for the Kindle, which I suspect is losing them some cash) has a section that might be what you need: it’s called Exotic Traditionals. Listen to this introduction: “You want a name that stands out from the pack … Yet you roll your eyes at new inventions with wild spellings—you want a name with roots and resonance.”

My total favorite from this section is Milo. For me, this is the one I could see as My Baby, and it was our runner-up to the name Henry for our youngest. I still love it. It’s unusual, but easy to say and easy to spell. I think Milo Russell sounds wonderful: dignified and friendly at the same time. He sounds like a Great Guy with a Happy Life.

Another name I like from this section is Aidric. I’ve never met or heard of a single person with that name, but it nevertheless seems familiar and easy—I think because it’s like a combination of Aidan and Eric. I think it has a cool look and sound, and it’s great with your surname: Aidric Russell. (In fact, I am starting to envy you your surname.) Maybe Aidric Kelvin Russell.

Another name we considered ourselves from this section is Felix. Yes, yes, there’s a Felix the cat, which I think I’ve seen only in clip shows about the history of cartoons, and which I’ll bet none of our children will see; ditto for The Odd Couple, which I watched in afternoon reruns when I was a child home sick from school but haven’t seen since. The name means happy and lucky, which is pleasant, and again it’s great with your surname: Felix Russell. Your husband might appreciate the X, and yet the name is easy to spell and pronounce.

If your husband wasn’t opposed to biblical names, I’d suggest Gideon. Why is this name so underused? And Gideon Russell is wonderful.

A name not in this section is Darwin. Easy to spell, easy to pronounce, but quite unusual and with excellent Lab Cred. Darwin Russell. I hesitate only because it seems like people might sometimes think the name was Russell Darwin.

Perhaps your husband would be willing to make a little DEAL: you get to sway the first name toward the realm of The Usual, and he gets to sway the middle name toward the realm of The Gritty Sink Cleanser Unusual. Not only might this help resolve the naming situation, I would think it would be kind of fun to have a Cool Middle Name. It could be whipped out to impress, or kept hidden—depending on the personality type and current circumstances of its owner. Milo Jaxon Russell is an indisputably cool name (BE QUIET, I SAID INDISPUTABLE), and it seems like moving your husband’s preferences the uncommon name to the middle slot might make it less stabby for you. Milo Kelvin Russell works wonderfully, too, and then there’s no problem with the nickname Kel. I would choose Kelvin over Jaxon, because I find it easier to roll my eyes affectionately at science geekery than at respellings, and it would earn a certain Lab Cred among my husband’s co-workers.

A middle name suggestion that might please your husband: Tycho (pronounced TEE-ko). A science guy who was so tough he lost his nose in a duel! Gross!

More middle name possibilities: Faraday, Hawking, Feynman, Edison.

I love Milo Feynman Russell, or Felix Hawking Russell, or Aidric Faraday Russell.

If you like Edward, maybe Edmund? WAY less common, yet familiar. Edmund Hawking Russell.

Name update! Carolyn writes:

Our little man arrived early via C-section on February 18, and it took the full time I was in the hospital for us to finish choosing a name :) (The sleep deprivation actually made us be a bit more direct in our thinking and quit dilly-dallying around!) I loved everyone’s suggestions and will hold onto them for the future, but we ended up agreeing on Nathan Isaac for our first little boy (and no, I don’t know what about it ended up appealing to my husband. But I know for sure that the next time I get pregnant, we’ll start discussing names ASAP so we don’t end up in a bind, again!)

Thank you!!!

Chelsea writes:

Our baby will be here in 4 weeks or less and we have a short list of boy and girl names. DH won’t commit to anything. Everything on our list we both agree on but nothing is sticking out to us as “the one”

Our son’s name is Brody. My DH picked this name from our final short list: Levi, Eli, Sam and Brody. His full name is Brody Charles. MN after my DH and his great grandpa. He was named a few days after his birth.

We don’t want to have a theme and I feel we like many names anyway. We do not want a name that is a word because it sounds like a location with our last name “Hill” eg/ Violet Hill, Hunter Hill, Olive Hill…..

I want the baby’s mn to have a family connection. If it’s a boy I like the idea to use Arlo or Joseph as a mn. Arlo is the italian version of Charles (we are not italian) and Joseph is the other great grandpa’s name. Michael is another option.

If it’s a girl the mn will be Elizabeth or a form of it. I also like Josephine b/c it is a fem. version of Joseph. Olivia May, Isabel or Maisie are all family names we could use too.

I am open to any ideas that’s why I am emailing you. But I mostly just value your advice.

Here is the list in no particular order.

Our little Hero:
Eli
Leo
Arlo
Luca
Levi
Hendricks (DH loves. I’m ok w/ Arlo Hendricks or Luca Hendricks only!)

Our little Honey:
Eva
Matilda
Isla (was my number 1 but I have met 2 while I’ve been preggers)
Lola (cute for a child) Longer name option w/ the nn Lola?
Audrey (I find this difficult to say w/ Brody)
Maisie
Ivy
Freya
Molly

Names we are fond of but can’t use: Louie, Sophia, Ruby, Jack, Finlay, Ellie, Owen, Toby, Henry, Hayden, Ella, Rhys

Thanks for your help!

Name update! Chelsea writes:

Just wanted to thank Swistle’s readers for their suggestions and help. Swistle I was so disappointed you lacked input.

Our little girl Freya Elizabeth Hill was born Feb. 25, 2011 @ 0620.
She is very sweet and adored by her big brother Brody.

Elissa writes:

We would love you and your reader’s help. We have our third baby due in early March. We have a boy and a girl and have, with previous naming decisions and personal preferences, painted ourselves into a bit of a name corner (although of course my husband doesn’t think so) so we are calling on you, and your fabulous readers to give a little assistance.

This has turned into a bit of an essay so I have broken into subheadings, please feel free to edit unreservedly.

By way of background:

Our first born, a son, is Sebastien Gordon [Sebby] (French spelling in honor of French Godmother, middle name is my maiden name), our second born is a daughter, Georgia Grace [Gigi] (First name ending in “a” as per family heritage – Mediterranean, where female names always end in an “a”, middle name – loved it and wanted a G name to go with my maiden name). So after two children I thought I was done and really thought anyway, if we do have anymore that we would have a boy (3 generations of mine and husband’s family only has one girl in each family, no matter how many children), so I used all my favourite G names on Gigi’s big names (as she calls them) and then was really really shocked that we are having a second little Miss.

Added to this background is that it took us 6 days to name Gigi and Sebby after birth and this time we don’t have that luxury (birthing in a third country – need to get birth details, translations, passports and visas ready ASAP).

Rules:

So basic rules are,

· First name ends in an A,

· Middle name begins with a G (Husband does not think that this is as necessary as I do),

· We like traditional names, but not really into names that are incredibly popular.

Complicating Factors:

First name preference is to not start it with S or G.

As first name ends with A and so does last name, first name we have to be really careful those two names don’t rhyme, this also cuts out all ending in an “a” middle names, like Gemma.

I really only like Gabrielle (Greer as a stretch) as a G middle name. I don’t like but have considered Genevieve, Gwen, Gwyneth, Gretchen

I am not into kre8tive spellings of names but will consider different spellings if there is a reason.

Further complicating Factors – which would be great to incorporate but probably too difficult:

Our children, from when they have been told, have been calling this baby Lulu. It has kinda stuck we have thought that it would be nice to try to have this as a possible nn for her first name, in this light we have thought of Tullulah, Louisa, Lucinda, Eloisa (this is very close to my name so is out). I have not really been struck by any of them.

Our list:

Our list includes the following, which I think gives an idea of our likes:

Clara

Annabella (with Greer- not Gabrielle)

Miranda

Amelia/ Emilia?Amalia

Isla (Husband not really on board with this)

Viola

Ilona

Helena (Husband not keen)

Amaya (out there for me- but I love the evocative meaning of “night rain”. However, with Georgia meaning “farmer”, and the meaning for Sebastien currently escaping me, I am not sure I should really focus too much on meanings when I haven’t in the past.)

I really like all the names on the above list but don’t feel any of them is “right” (perhaps because I am yet to see our little girl). All of them I go through phases of thinking is better than the other (currently my favourite on the list is Emelia, but that could change tomorrow).

So that is about it, please help as you can!

 
I’m not sure about the middle name. My feeling is that there is no reason at all to feel obligated to continue that theme after only two children, especially if you don’t LIKE any more G names. On the other hand, if it’s important to you I think it can be done. But…again, if you don’t even LIKE any more G names…and there’s no particular REASON to match a middle name initial…and we get so few chances in our lives to choose baby names…and if you already have a lot of other requirements you’re trying to meet…AND it can’t end in an A…well, then maybe this little detail could be dropped. It isn’t as if the older children will say, “Guess mom and dad ran out of LOVE when they ran out of G NAMES, nyah nyah!”

Possible G names:

Garland
Garnet
Gillian
Ginger
Giselle
Gwyn

Lulu can still be the children’s special nickname for her, even if it isn’t part of her official name. Or, if you decide not to do a G middle name, her middle name could be Lou or Louise: adorable AND fun to say with the first name AND gives you the Lulu.

Possibilities (with Kayla as the stand-in for the surname):

Bianca Giselle Kayla; Sebastian, Georgia, and Bianca
Eva Louise Kayla; Sebastien, Georgia, and Eva
Evelina Louise Kayla; Sebastien, Georgia, and Evelina
Fiona Louise Kayla; Sebastien, Georgia, and Fiona
Liliana Louise Kayla; Sebastien, Georgia, and Liliana
Lydia Lou Kayla; Sebastien, Georgia, and Lydia
Minerva Louise Kayla; Sebastien, Georgia, and Minerva
Nora Lou Kayla; Sebastien, Georgia, and Nora
Philippa Louise Kayla; Sebastien, Georgia, and Philippa
Viviana Louise Kayla; Sebastien, Georgia, and Viviana
Willemina Louise Kayla; Sebastien, Georgia, and Willemina

Bianca is the only one I didn’t use Lou/Louise with, because of the initials BLT.

I like how Liliana Louise and Lydia Lou give you repeating initials, as with Georgia Grace.

Philippa Louise probably wins for cutest nickname possibility: Pippa Lou. Well, or maybe Willemina with Willa Lou. Or Minerva with Minnie Lou. Well, Lou just makes a very cute middle name, especially with a shortened first name. And I love combinations like Sebby, Gigi, and Pippa.

Name update! Elissa writes:

Apologies for not getting back to you earlier… Terrible of me but we moved countries and it just slipped my mind. Hopefully this photo of Emiliana Gabrielle makes up for it. She is a wonderful nearly 9 month old and still gets called Lulu nearly exclusively.

Thanks for all your assistance. Although we loved some of the suggestions, particularly Pippa, think that seeing names like Evelina, Viviana and Liliana made us think.. Emiliana. It is a bit of a mouthful but we love it as her big girl name.

Thanks again.

Stephanie writes:

We’re having our second baby, a son, who is due February 1st and we are completely stuck for a name! We gave our daughter a name that feels special to us, and now are having a hard time finding something to fit the new baby. I thought I’d email since we’re running out of time…

Our daughter is a year and a half, and her name is Ryan Aubrey. We settled on ‘Ryan’ pretty early on – although we did keep it a secret until she was born. We didn’t decide on her middle name until we were at the hospital. The name, ‘Aubrey’ didn’t have any special significance for us, we just thought it was pretty, and were looking for something feminine for balance.

But now that we’re having a son, we can’t think of anything we love. We agree that we want something distinctly masculine, but not common. We have an evolving list, but are not sure that any of these names are the one. I’m hoping someone could suggest something great we may not have thought of yet! Here are a few we haven’t vetoed yet:

Brady
Carver
Cole
Colton
Conrad
Dalton
Donovan
Garrett
Grayson
Holden
Kellen
Landon
West

Please let me know if you have any ideas. Thanks so much!

Name update! Stephanie writes:

Thanks for posting our question, and we appreciate all the great comments ;)

Our son, Garrett Conrad Queen was born on Thursday morning, and we’re all doing great!

Thanks again

Faith writes:

I’d love to get some help with baby girl names. We have a son, Eliot Lee, and our baby girl will be born on the 27th (as in NEXT THURSDAY!) We had settled on two possibilities if the baby was a boy (Graham or Tobin) but are somewhat at a loss now that we know she’s a girl. Our last name is two syllables and starts with Jen–.

When we were first married my husband and I agreed that we both liked the nickname Winnie. My husband really liked the name Winsome but it seems to fanciful to me. We though Winifred was a better option to keep Winnie but now I find myself unsure if it’s too stuffy. It would solve a lot of problems if I was 100% sure of Winifred but I’m not. The problem is that I’m not 100% on any other name either and we have less than a week (eep!)

I find myself being drawn to 3-syllable names but it’s not a deal-breaker. In general I like classic but not super popular names that have the option of cute nicknames. My husband suggested naming her after me (Faith Margaret) which I think is sweet but don’t really want to do but I think Faith for a middle name might be nice.

The two names at the top of my list were Vivian and Naomi. My husband’s name starts with N and I kind of think it might be nice for her to have her own initial. But if we went with Naomi I’d like to find a middle name that starts with R so the two of them have the exact same initials as a way of honoring him.

Some other names we’ve discussed include:

Rosalie (husband thinks it’s too frou-frou)
Louisa (husband thinks it’s too frou-frou)
Evangeline (Too long and too matchy-matchy with Eliot)
Eliza (LOVE it but it feels too matchy-matchy with Eliot)
Alice
Pauline
Ada
Adeline
Matilda
Imogen (the alliteration with our last name seems too cute. Also, it seems like a lot of people here in the States would mispronounce it)
Mae

More possibilities for Winnie are Gwendolyn and Gwyneth and Guinevere. They do tend to produce something more like Gwinnie/Gwennie, but I think you could make it Winnie—or maybe you’d also like Gwinnie?

Or there’s Winter, which is not as fanciful as Winsome and not as formal as Winifred. Or my favorite might be Wynn/Wynne: it’s a good grown-up name that passes the “Would it work on a doctor or a lawyer?” test, but also goes easily to Wynnie. …No, my favorite is still Winifred, but my SECOND favorite is Wynne.

If you go with Naomi, I like the repeating O-sound of Rose: Eliot Lee and Naomi Rose. Naomi Rachel would be pretty, too, or Naomi Rae, or Naomi Rain, or Naomi Reese, or Naomi Robin. Or Rosalie might be too frilly for your husband as the first name, but maybe he’d like it better as a middle name: Naomi Rosalie. Or perhaps Naomi Faith to honor both father and mother?

Name update! Faith writes:

I wanted to drop you a line and update you on our baby girl!

We decided to name her Naomi Catherine with Catherine being in honor of my MIL. Objectively speaking I might not have picked the name Catherine since it seems a little long to follow Naomi but I have a wonderful MIL and love that our daughter shares this connection with her. We actually find that we call the baby Nomi most often which is what my three year-old christened her. :)

Thank you again for all of your input and for the input of your readers. I loved reading your feedback and all the comments!

Caroline writes:

My husband and I couldn’t be more opposite when it comes to baby naming… well, in lots of things actually but identifying our child is simply the most crucial issue at this moment. He offers names based on who he knows or what famous person shares the name (i.e. our in utero nickname for this child is “Pancho” named after a 1980’s race car driver!) regardless of the ridiculousness of the name. In fact, I think he likes the idea of naming the child after someone else and I tend to avoid that entirely. I want someone to say “what a great name” when they hear of our child’s arrival but not wince or scratch their heads wondering where in the heck it came from. And I do not want a name that has been used by someone we know (even if only an acquaintance) – it’s no fun.

Our different personalities and naming preferences aren’t the only consideration. This little one is due Feb. 28th and will be little sister or brother to my daughters Regan Olivia & Reece Elizabeth. The girls are from my prior marriage – and both names were/are perfect. Although more Regan’s have popped up, both names are relatively unique in our area and I loved them paired with a older, more traditional middle name.

So, the first issue is how to come up with a name we can both LOVE. Second issue is whether we stick with the R’s – which seems a bit weird to me because they won’t share last names, former marriage, etc. On the other hand maybe we should go with the theme so none of them associate themselves as being from a different family. Ugh – husband says I’m way overthinking it! It’s his first child so I want it to be something we share, not an R name he is forced into by default!

We do have a girl name and a boy name we both like… he seems sold, but I’ve not had my Ah-ha moment with the girl name. Our last name is Schmidt.

Weston Zachary – my idea, he came around to it and he is pretty set on it now. Middle name is a must as this is after my brother who passed away.

Carson/Carsyn Rose – pretty sure I threw it out there and he instantly liked. Rose is after his mother and we both agree this shall be the middle name of a girl. I’ve read your suggestions of using Rose for a first name, but I’m not keen on that mostly because I don’t want “Rosie” and the confusion will be too difficult as his mom is living and we see them often!

Names that have been eliminated for various reasons just to give you an idea of our tastes… Sheldon (yes, he seriously loves this despite the “sh, sh – iness” with our last name); Raylin (too close to Regan, but was always his favorite girl name). I like Charlotte (but again the sh-sh sound), Kendall (but know a family with a baby Kendall), Cameryn (for a girl, but this is my niece), Mason (simply too popular).

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!!

And:

About a month ago I emailed you about Baby Girl or Boy Schmidt and the drastically different ideas my husband and I have about baby naming…

Since then we’ve made progress, but I need some opinions.

First, we love the name Weston for a boy. BUT, I’m struggling with the middle name. I lost a younger brother 10 years ago and always knew if/when I had a boy his middle name would be Zachary after my brother. Husband is of course on board with this, but I also know that he always anticipated a baby boy with his middle name (which is his father’s name… wait for it… Ivo – it’s a name that appears to be native to his hometown!!). I think we should use TWO middle names, he thinks I’m ridiculous and says he’s totally agreeable to Zachary. But, I just can’t shake the feeling that this is his only child and he might regret not having a “namesake” (even if it’s shared). So, is giving a poor child 4 names to spit out unreasonable, unfair or inhumane?

Issue number two… I told you that my daughters from my first marriage are “R’s” and I was unsure of whether to continue this trend. Let’s just say that if it’s a boy I’m totally ok with Weston (or a non-R name), but my girls have said “Mommy, it has to be an R if its a girl, so she’s just like us!” How can do anything else, right? Right. Except there is only 1 R name that I’ve come across that I like/love. Renna. Before you judge, the middle name will be Rose (regardless of first name) so you have to say it all to be sure it passes muster… Renna Rose. My fear? That I’m predisposing this sweet little angel to a future in pole dancing. My friends who have been quizzed say I’m overthinking it and that’s not at all where their minds go… but once you say it…

And is it to rhymey with Regan & Reece? I really think the R will bond them and in families with stepchildren I think this is really important.

I’m due Feb. 28th and I saw you were at/near these due dates…. please help. This will be the 3rd and last for us and I had no idea how difficult it would be to name this sweet one!!

Thank you!

 
I can give personal-experience feedback on the two middle names issue, because my kids have two middle names and so do I. And this is my feedback: it’s not as much hassle as I’d expected. On forms where it matters (applications and registrations, for example), I try to make it very clear: writing the middle names one on top of the other on the middle name line, or even making brackets with labels “middle names” and “surname.” I chose ahead of time which name I wanted as the default (for me it’s the second of my two middle names, but for the kids its the first) if a form only let me use one name/initial, so paperwork is consistent. The hassles have been things like occasionally needing to correct a form where the information has been entered as if the second middle name is the first of two last names, or where the first middle name has been entered as if it’s a second first name, but I think that’s happened maybe four times total in the twelve years since we named our first child. AND, it hardly ever comes up: middle names show up mostly on forms and never in introductions, so he’d be Weston Schmidt when he’s saying it or writing it on his homework. It sounds to me like your reasons for using two middle names outweighs the small hassle, so I’m voting yea on that one.

About the R names. That IS pretty cute and compelling, to have the girls wanting her to have an R name. Do you think they’d settle for an R middle name? Renna Rose seems fine to me (I will probably suddenly realize what you’re alluding to and then feel very silly!), but it’s too bad Renna has the same number of letters as the other two, in addition to all three starting with Re-: I don’t think they sound so much alike, but they look alike. Regan, Reese, Renna. Well, I wrote that out to illustrate the problem, but actually that’s kind of cute. I don’t know WHAT I think! Let’s see what everyone ELSE thinks!

Name update! Caroline writes:

After all the concern about baby girl names, we needn’t have worried… We welcomed Weston Zachary Ivo Schmidt to our family on Feb. 23, 2011. He is absolutely perfect and honoring both of our families with his two middle names worked out perfectly as well! Although my husband was concerned about having mouthful of names, as soon as he held Weston he proudly called him by all FOUR names without hesitation! I’ve attached a pic of our little guy… thanks for the advice!!

F. writes:

I can’t believe that even though i am now 9 days overdue with our second son we still haven’t quite hit upon the right name for him and so i am writing to you for some help. Our first son is called Theodore Magnus, both names we absolutely love and luckily we knew very early on that we would call him by those names. Infact we would actually love to name our second son Magnus but feel that we can’t now given that we have already used it as Theodore’s middle name.

We are looking for boys name that work in both Engand and Norway as i am British and my husband is Norwegian ( and currently live in Norway) Many names don’t translate due to the different pronunciation of certain letters ( i.e. I becomes E in Norwegian and J becomes Y ) and the 3 different letters in the Norwegian language Å,Ø and Æ, sadly make names like Torbjørn unusable because in the Uk no one would know how to pronounce it, even though i love it.

So far we have Tobias, Jonathan ( despite the different pronunciation in Norwegian being Yonathan), Ruben, Albert, Sebastian and Jacob on our list but we just can’t seem to decide on any one of them. My son seems to think the new baby will be called Jonathan and i think Ruben goes well as a second name….but we would love any suggestions that you have to help us make a decision.

My husband has just suggested Sebastian Aurelius but i feel that it is a bit much especially as we have a double barreled surname! What do you think?

Name update! F. writes:

We finally decided to call our baby Sebastian Tobias…phew, thank you for all your help.

Melanie writes:

Help! My husband and I are expecting our first baby, gender unknown, at the end of February (Feb. 27). Our last name sounds like Luke but starts with a D instead of an L. We are set if this baby is a boy, but I just KNOW that it is a girl and in that area we are in trouble!

I really like classic, “pretty” girls’ names that aren’t TOO popular. Of course, the name I have loved since I was a child is Emily, which has been #1 or #2 on the SSA site for ten years! I still like that name, but it just feels so “used” to me that I am not sure I can use it. (And I don’t think it really works as a middle name, but I would definitely consider it for that slot). Another name I love is Elizabeth, but my husband dislikes this name (he says he would consider it for a middle name, but not a first).

Some other names we have discussed:
Penelope – this name has been slightly soured for me by people’s reactions. We aren’t telling anyone our name choices, but someone mentioned this concidentally and called it a “weird” name. I like the nickname Penny but husband doesn’t. Really loved this name before I was pregnant, but with the combo of the “weird” comment and husband’s dislike of Penny, I’m less enthusiastic.
Elinor – Husband’s grandmother’s name. I LOVE this one too, he won’t use it as a first name, but willing to use it as a middle.
Grace – Husband’s grandmother’s middle name. I know this is popular as a middle name, but is it used a lot as a first name? I love the nickname Gracie and I think Grace is so pretty. One problem – Husband’s sister had a baby a year ago and her middle name is Grace. His cousin also had a girl a year ago, and ALSO has the middle name Grace. (All after the same grandmother). If it was just the cousin, I wouldn’t mind, but my SIL and BIL seem to call their baby by the first and middle name fairly frequently. It’s not like there would be confusion, necessarily, but I am worried about accusations of “copying” SIL.

It seems like we have thought of and thrown out a million other names. As you can see, we are going around in circles. At this point, none of these names really feel like the baby’s name to me, and definitely not to my husband, who is a classic vetoer. I am hoping you can suggest some names that I haven’t thought of. I am really feeling sad that I haven’t hit upon “the” name yet – I love baby names and have been thinking about them forever (long before I was pregnant), so I can’t believe that I am 8 weeks out with no idea what this baby will be named!!

Help!!

 
The Emily situation is both better and worse than you think. Worse because it was #1 for twelve years in a row, from 1996 until 2007. Better because in 2008 it was #3, and in 2009 it was #6. Also better because in terms of percentages of baby girls being given the name, there’s been a very significant drop, from a high of 1.36% in 1999, to 0.76% in 2009—that’s getting close to being cut in half. And also better because despite its long popularity it still doesn’t feel used-up to me. Used, sure, but that’s true of all the traditional names and even the ones people think of as unique. Used UP, no.

However, if it DOES feel used-up to you, there are lots of possibilities that are a little less common. Emeline, for example, is similar to Emily but is surprisingly unusual. Or there’s Emilia, Emlyn, Emryn, Emery, or Emerson. My favorite is Emeline because I think it captures more of the style of Emily. There’s also Adeline and Amelia.

Since you also like Elizabeth, I recommend Eliza.

Grace is a popular first name: it was the 17th most popular girl name in the U.S. in 2009. The Social Security baby name site is great for this: not only can you see a name’s current popularity, you can see if it’s falling or rising—and how rapidly. Grace, for example, looks like it has settled: after a rise, it’s been floating in the space between #10 and #21 for a decade. This makes it look to me as if it’s not going to get super-super-popular, but is instead going to stay nicely popular. However, if your husband’s grandmother has already been honored twice via the use of her middle name, perhaps there are other family members who could be honored? It seems so unfair that the family members with currently-popular names get such a disproportionate amount of honoring-via-namesakes.

Penelope is a name that seems highly unusual and yet I don’t think it will seem that way for much longer. Look at this:

(screenshot from SSA.gov)

An underlined lowercase A means the name was not in the Top 1000 that year. I cut it off at 1994, but those underlined lowercase As go back to 1974. Penelope was nowhere in sight, and now look at it go: up almost 700 rank places in 9 years, and I’m eager to see where it will be when the 2010 statistics come out in May. It’s good news for people like me, who prefer to use more common/familiar names: Penelope would have been out of the question for me back when my first child was born in 1999, but if I were to have another child now, I’d feel able to use it. (And in fact, when I was expecting in 2007, it was one of our frontrunners until we found out we were having a boy.) If your husband doesn’t like like the nickname Penny, maybe he’d like Nellie or Pip.

It’s even more unusual than Penelope, but I wonder if you’d like the name Felicity? It has the same rhythm as Penelope, but more of the early-American style of Emily. It’s pretty and feminine and underused, and it would work with any of your possible middle names (though because I prefer not to spell anything with initials, I’d avoid FED—perhaps this is a good moment to go through your family tree looking for other women you love whose names would be good middle-name candidates).

More possibilities:

Annabel
Cecily
Clara
Clarissa
Cora
Eva
Fiona
Genevieve
Lia
Lillian
Liviana
Phoebe
Violet

Name update! Melanie writes:

Baby name update for you! Our baby GIRL was born March 2. We decided to name her Emily Elizabeth, thanks to your reassuring comments about the popularity, and all the commenters who said that Emily was a great, classic name. In particular, one commenter mentioned how special Emily would feel when I told her I had loved her name all my life, and when I read that I started crying. That’s when I knew she had to be Emily!! Elizabeth, her middle name, is after my grandmother. Thanks for all your help!!!
Melanie

P.S. I attached a photo too! I love the photo updates myself, so I had to include one. :)