Sarah writes:

Our second baby girl is due on October 10. She will join big sister Ella Catherine who will be almost 3. My name is Sarah Catherine and husbands name is Ian Tyler. Our last name is Dougherty (we say it quickly “like Dorty”). Our dilemma has been many of the names that we like end with e or ie or y and and can sound too eee-eee combined with Dougherty. We prefer short first names because we have a long last name. If it had been a boy, the top contender would have been Owen. We may possibly have a third child. We want something simple and short but not too popular that you hear it everywhere.

Names that have been on my list:
Aubrey (Aubrey Dougherty sounds redundant to me)
Nora – husband doesn’t love it
Hadley
Hallie – newly found and like
my sister in law recommended Ava which I love the idea of combined with Ella but we just know entirely too many Ava’s.
My husband’s list:
Annie – not my favorite
Maggie (again both with the eee-eee)

Ann is a possibility for a middle name as it is my mothers middle name but not set in stone.

 
That IS a tricky surname to work with. Trying out each first name on the list with the Dorty pronunciation, Nora Dorty immediately catches my ear as a tongue-twisting problem. And you’re right about the repeating -ee endings: Aubrey Dorty, Hadley Dorty, and Hallie Dorty all have it, and it bothers my ear too.

So. Er. I seem to have blown right through your list. Ava is great, though: no repeating sounds with the surname. I think that’s the sort of direction to go, even if Ava itself is too common in your circle: -a endings instead of -ee, keeping an eye out for R and D and -or- sounds that may or may not be problems depending on the name.

If you don’t mind repeating the first initial, Eva is very similar to Ava. Eva Dougherty; Ella and Eva.

If your husband likes Annie, would you like Anna? He could call her Annie. Anna Dougherty; Ella and Anna.

Or Hannah? It has some of the sound of Hadley/Hallie, but without the -ee ending, and with a popularity more in line with the name Ella. Hannah Dougherty; Ella and Hannah.

Grace Dougherty would be pretty, if you don’t mind the G.D. initials. Ella and Grace.

Or Claire. Boy, there are a lot of names that have meaningful initials with a D. surname! C.D. is at least nothing negative. Claire Dougherty; Ella and Claire.

Or Clara (C.D. again). Clara Dougherty; Ella and Clara.

Abigail has some of the sound of Aubrey; it has the -ee sound in the nickname but not in the full name. Abigail Dougherty; Ella and Abby.

Or I think Miriam is so underused, and is very pretty with your surname. Meaningful initials, but not a negative one. Miriam Dougherty; Ella and Miriam.

If Miriam is too long, Mira might be perfect (M.D. again). Mira Dougherty; Ella and Mira.

That makes me think of Iris, which would also be gorgeous if you don’t mind the I.D. initials. Iris Dougherty; Ella and Iris.

Tessa Dougherty; Ella and Tessa.

Rose Dougherty; Ella and Rose.

Kyra Dougherty; Ella and Kyra.

Cleo Dougherty (C.D. again); Ella and Cleo.

Cecile Dougherty (C.D. again); Ella and Cecile.

Kate Dougherty; Ella and Kate.

Name update! Sarah writes:

Thank you Swistle and your readers for all the advice on naming our baby girl. Hallie Ann arrived on September 26. We finally decided to go against our original rule of not using a name that ended in an EE sound because of our last name. Swistle’s advice on staying away from names with a strong R or D sound in the name was great advice and we realized that Hallie along with our last name sounded just fine to us and we love how the name goes along with big Sister Ella’s name. Thanks again for answering my letter, Hallie’s photo is attached.

Guinevere writes:

I’m excited to be able to write to you because we are name enthusiasts and have been talking about our future children’s names for the past decade, with shockingly little spousal disagreement, so I never thought we’d be in a position have a Baby Naming Crisis.

But, it turns out we DO have a naming dilemma, recently created by the News Corp Scandal. (Story in a nutshell: the company of Rupert Murdoch and son James Murdoch has been involved in a whole lot of illegal phone hacking and then the usual cover-up, leading to the cancellation of a major tabloid and a publication of an apology in every British newspaper.) We’re in the US, but it seems potentially likely that there will be upcoming legal action on our side of the pond coming up as well.

The issue is that the name we’d picked out for our second boy (due in October, so not just hypothetical) is Rupert James, containing BOTH of the names of the Murdochs associated with this scandal. Rupert has long been one of the Spouse’s most favorite names, to which I’ve been won over by many years of mulling over and then the reading of lots of Jilly Cooper. James is a family name from her side (we feel it’s important to honor her side of the family this time because they don’t have any genetic connection to this pregnancy).

We’d like to know what broad consensus is on two questions:
1.) Whether the scandal is so high profile for the average person (especially Americans) that using the name Rupert is currently inadvisable.
2.) If Rupert is still usable, whether its combination with James would push the combination over into “not such a good idea” category.

On the first, we’re tending towards just using Rupert anyway. Though the name has not been shared with anyone yet, it really has felt like the name for this baby for a very long time and we recently bought letters for decorating the nursery (granted, a $8 investment at the craft store, but still symbolic). There are a lot of other associations for Rupert, including the Harry Potter movie press flurry following the release of the last movie, but we are curious to see if this is a much bigger deal for other people, so we can make an informed choice. We do suspect that the grandparents will do a bit of pearl clutching and “Oh, REALLY, like the News Corp Scandal!!?!”, but they won’t get the name until it’s presented to them alongside a cute baby, and I think the cute grandchild will then be their primary association for the name from that moment forward.

But, in the event that the first and middle combination might be a bit too much in light of the current events, we’re now rethinking the middle name choices.

Our general naming style is pretty well summed up by first names at home in a Masterpiece Theater production, paired with more currently fashionable middle names honoring family members. We prefer there to be a bit of first/middle name contrast, both for stylistic reasons and to make sure that there is a less controversial/distinctive name choice available to our child if they want to blend in more. In this case that’s especially important since Rupert doesn’t yield many nickname options. Son #1 is named an old variant of Julian popularized by the Forsyte Saga, with the middle name Max. (We’d prefer that Son #1’s first name not be directly mentioned because it is super-googleable.) We plan to have another two children (or possibly three) after this, and we’re pretty well set with sibling names, since we’ve been talking about names for a good ten years now.

Middle name choices for Rupert drawn from the spouse’s family tree, once we’ve weeded out all the awesome A-names that would make initials spell RAG:

* James, which we thought we’d settled on as being both very fresh feeling and a family name, that would provide RJ as a nickname as well as James and all its derivatives if Rupert ever proved unsuitable.
* George, which we both love! The Spouse thinks of Rupert as very British rather than fusty, and George as a former American standard that’s outdated to the point of being picked up by hipsters soon… so while they’re both currently at a nadir in their popularity curves, they don’t have a similar feel to her. However, I’m unsure whether George is too similar in feel to Rupert.
o We have eliminated Ernest and Maurice on the grounds that they would not be providing our son with a good alternate name to go by if he wants a non-fusty, non-British-feeling name at any point in his life. These names just seem too much paired with Rupert, so ruled out despite the very positive nature of the namesakes. I’m worried that George might be the same, though to a lesser extent.
* Michael, a name we aren’t that keen on by itself, but which certainly provides a safe alternative and contrast with Rupert. However, it’s likely to stir up drama because the grandfather it’s honoring is currently undergoing a not-so-amicable divorce, and choosing that name right now is likely to make the grandmother being divorced feel angry and betrayed… sort of undoing the whole intent of “promoting family bonding” in picking a middle name from the Spouse’s side in the first place. So, I think this one may be off the table for reasons of family current events rather than national ones.

If we were opening the discussion to names from my side of the family (still thinking about this), we would add Henry, which we both adore. It is very popular locally and therefore more of an established Antique Revival than the Daring Outmoded Choice it might still be in other parts of the country.

We’d be tremendously grateful to hear any insights from you and commentators, but would especially welcome a poll to collect a large sample size of data about the usability of Rupert and Rupert James in light of the News Corp Scandal. A middle-name-off between James/George/Michael/Henry would be a happy perk but not as essential.

Many many thanks!

 
I read the question, thought about it for a week, and then read it carefully again to make sure, but my opinion has stayed steady throughout: I think Rupert James is still completely usable, and also that it seems pretty clearly the best choice for this baby. I had heard of the scandal, but the association still didn’t spring to mind: I think first of Rupert Everett, then of Rupert Grint, then of Rupert Friend. The name James seems almost neutral to me: I didn’t think of James Murdoch even after having Rupert Murdoch called to mind.

BUT! You and I are in agreement that what is needed here is a poll. I can say all day long that it doesn’t rule it out for ME, but what we need is a large SAMPLE of opinions. Let’s have a poll over to the right! [Poll closed; see results below.]

And also, if you do decide to rule it out, I think Rupert George is wonderful.

[Sigh. Did I put “News Crop” instead of “News Corp” in the poll? Yes. Is it now unfixable without ruining the poll and starting over? Yes. So do we just all have to pretend I did NOT make that mistake? PLEASE DO.]

Name update! Guinevere writes:

I went into labor on my due date and two days later we welcomed Rupert James! I’d like to thank you and your readership again for being so very, very helpful in the naming of our wee fellow, who turned out not to be so wee after all (10 pounds, 10 ounces and 22 inches). We’re finally home after a fortnight at the hospital, and during that time a steady stream of neonatologists and nurses all expressed very positive reactions to the name, as did our families. We continued to dither about the middle name until the very end of labor, but when he was born and looked not at all like a wrinkly disapproving old man we felt very much justified in having a Rupert James and not a Rupert George. We appreciate so very very much that you all provided us with high quality thoughtful comments and a large statistically significant survey so we could make a fully informed decision!

Picture attached!

Erin writes:

I’m due December 3 with our first baby (and the first grandbaby on either side). We just found out it’s a girl and are super excited. Unfortunately, the mister told his parents what our front runners for girl names were and his parents, well, they registered an opinion. A negative one. My response was (as it normally is), “screw them and the horse they rode in on,” but my husband is a little more worried about offending his parents.

Our last name sounds like Foreman and we’re settled on the middle name Rose. Our two front-runners for girl’s names were Evelyn and Sophia. Evelyn was my favorite, with the nickname of Evie, and Sophia was the mister’s.

My husband has vetoed Ava and Eva. We’ve nixed Christine, Katherine, Caitlyn, Annabelle, and all their variations for family reasons. Emma is out as my best friend just took that name for her girl. We both like Elizabeth, but fear it’s too common. I think the first name should be at least two syllables and I love very feminine sounding names. We both like old-fashioned/traditional names. Help?

If it’s of any interest, my first choice for a boy was Bennett James and my husband’s first choice for a boy was Wyatt James.

Thank you for any assistance you can offer!

I am right on the line when it comes to the importance of family approval of a name. On one hand: they had their turn to name babies, and this is your turn; it’s your choice and you should choose the name you love; they will likely come around to it and then not be able to believe they ever objected.

And on the other hand, it’s nice to have the people you’re close to love the baby’s name, and it’s nice for them to like the name of someone they’re going to be close to. It also seems reasonable for people who love each other (either actually or theoretically) to keep strong dislikes in mind: to avoid names of exes and family black sheep, to give a little warning if they’re going to use a name known to be disliked.

In this case, though…they hate Evelyn and Sophia? Did they…give a reason? Because there is nothing immediately obvious to me about those names that would cause the in-laws to have veto power. Unless there’s more to this story (such as that Evelyn is the name of your father-in-law’s first wife, or something of that sort), I can’t see any reason that using either of those names would OFFEND your in-laws. I understand your husband’s feelings, but in this case I am more inclined to side with the “and the horse they rode in on” point of view. It might help your husband if he considers what it is he wants to do here. Does he want to present his parents with all the names the two of you are considering for your child, until they choose the one they like best?

I am going to assume that the reason your in-laws don’t like those names is that Evelyn and Sophia are names being used for this current generation of babies. It could be that I’m way off in this assumption, but in that case this paragraph will still apply to other situations where this is the problem—because it is such a CLASSIC problem. The current generation of new grandparents CLASSICALLY thinks that the current generation of new parents likes “weird” or “old” or “made-up” names. My grandparents had never HEARD of the weird name Kristen before. My parents wince a little (though they do it politely/understandingly: they are familiar with the way this baby-naming thing goes) at names like Henry and Oliver. We will likely be the same way about the names our children want to name our grandchildren (“Shirley for a girl or Howard for a boy? That’s…interesting!”). It is the cycle of baby-naming: each group of names seems totally normal/fresh to the generation using them, and quite weird/dated to previous generations.

IF this is what’s going on in your situation, I am solidly on the side of ignoring their input. If the two frontrunners have already been ruined, I understand; in that case, I suggest choosing new names, but seeing if your husband will agree not to ruin the new ones as well by telling them to his parents before the baby is born and named.

I don’t think the name Elizabeth is too common. My children have, so far, been in 17 classes of preschool/school, and there has been one classmate named Elizabeth. The name was #12 in 2010, but the name Sophia was #2. (Source: Social Security Administration.) If you want something similar but less common, one of my favorite variations is Eliza—dramatically underused at #240 in 2010. Eliza Rose Foreman. Love.

I wonder if you’d like Amelia? Amelia Rose Foreman. (I wouldn’t recommend it if your surname initial is actually F, though, because of the initials ARF.)

Clara is such a pretty old/traditional name. Clara Rose Foreman.

Or Claudia, I think, has some of the sound of Sophia. Claudia Rose Foreman.

Lillian is somewhat similar to Evelyn. Lillian Rose Foreman. The two flowers of Lily Rose could be a plus or a minus.

Name update! Erin writes:

While Evelyn, Sophia, and Eliza (love) were on our short list when I went into labor, poor baby girl remained nameless for two days in the hospital, since none of those names felt right. As the time for checkout neared and we cast about for other names, one of the names from the comments, Caroline, stuck out.

Caroline Rose.

While I sort of regret not naming her one of our other names, just to irritate my in-laws, I love love love the name we ended up with.

Thank you so much for your help!

Katie writes:

My husband and I are expecting our third child on 9/22/11, although I have a history of early labor and delivery. We have two sons together Owen Samuel (age 4) and Eli Benjamin (age 17 months), and I am thrilled we are finally expecting a little girl! The pregnancy has been fairly easy so far, but the hardest part has been picking out this little girl’s name.

When it came to our sons names, we both agreed on the names fairly easily with little compromise. Owen’s middle name Samuel is my husband’s middle name and Eli’s middle name is my father’s name. With our little girl, we would love to have a virtue middle name, more specifically Grace, but it is not a necessity.

The one girl name that my husband and I loved before we had children was Ella. The problem is that we now have an Eli and the names are way to similar for our comfort. We want our little girl to have her own identity in our family.

Our short list of girl names are:
Stella- our compromise to the Ella problem, but it doesn’t feel like the perfect name and I don’t know if this is the compromise I want to make.

Mia- our front runner at the moment, but once again it does not feel like the one. Also it’s rising in popularity, the name just doesn’t feel complete, and the alliteration with our last name seems to bother my husband

Savannah- although I love this name and my husband seems to like it too, we both feel that it doesn’t seem to go with our son’s names.

Halle- a new name that I found while reading an online article and I love it, but my husband isn’t as sold. He thinks it will be constantly mispronounced as hay-lee instead of hal-ee.

Addison- a name we both just like, but don’t feel like its our baby girl’s name.

Just for reference, if this baby would have been a boy, his name would have probably been Caleb Jackson or Luke Alexander. Please help us! We are running out of time, patience and we are tired of Owen and Eli referring to their little sister as “Baby.”

Stella Marsh is a terrific name, but I can see how if what you wanted was Ella, the name Stella might be too different in sound and style.

Willa is probably my top choice for you. It has the sweetness and gentleness of Ella, but without the part that makes it too close to Eli. Willa Marsh; Owen, Eli, and Willa.

Or perhaps Clara is my top choice: it has the sweet and gentle, it has the L and the -a, but it’s not too similar to either sibling name. Clara Marsh; Owen, Eli, and Clara.

Sadie is not quite the same style as Ella (sassier, I think), but I love it so much with the surname and the brother names. Sadie Marsh; Owen, Eli, and Sadie. And I like the repeating long-A sound if you use Grace as the middle name; it seems like it would be very pleasing to call her “Sadie Grace.”

Molly, too, has sweetness (and a double L) but it won’t work if your husband doesn’t like alliteration. Molly Marsh; Owen, Eli, and Molly.

Savannah makes me wonder if you’d like the name Anna. I recently read a novel that made me PINE for the name Anna Hope. They called her Anna Hope (that is, instead of calling her just Anna while the Hope disappeared into Middlenameville), and I couldn’t believe how quickly it grew on me. I had a mini-crisis over the idea of never getting to use such a great name myself. Anna Marsh; Owen, Eli, and Anna.

Or the name Annabella would give you the -ella at the end—sort of a combination of Savannah and Ella. Annabella Marsh; Owen, Eli, and Annabella. If that seems too long and frilled for the brother names, Annabel would be very nice. Annabel Marsh; Owen, Eli, and Annabel.

Speaking of names from novels, now I’m reading another book with a Nell. I wouldn’t have thought that was a name I felt one way or another about, but I like it quite a bit in the book, and it has the -ell from Ella. Nell (Nellie) Marsh; Owen, Eli, and Nell.

Calla might work. Yes, I like it, and I like the nickname Callie, too. Calla (Callie) Marsh; Owen, Eli, and Calla.

If you like Mia but it doesn’t seem like enough name, I’ve heard it used as a nickname for Amelia. Amelia Marsh; Owen, Eli, and Amelia. It bothers me a little bit that the name Eli is in the name Amelia—but it’s pronounced differently, so it’s not likely anything anyone would notice except to say “Oh, cool!”

There’s also Mila or Mina or Mira, all of which have pronunciation issues that might be worth the hassle to add substance to the name (Mia has a couple of pronunciations, too).

If pronunciation issues are the main problem with Halle, I’ve seen it spelled Hallie. Although perhaps that would look like a creative spelling of Haley and would make things even worse. Hm.

Out of nowhere: I wonder if you’d like Delaney. Delaney Marsh; Owen, Eli, and Delaney.

Name update! Katie writes:

So sorry this is coming to late (and so long!), but with a newborn, a kindergartner, and a little boy who has hit his terrible-twos, things have been a little hectic in the Marsh household. Our baby girl decided to grace us with her presence slightly earlier than expected on August 15th, 2011 and her first 26 days of life were spent in the NICU due to a bacterial infection. She is home now, safe and sound, but due to her early surprise, we were unprepared on her name to say the least. When she was 4 days old, my husband and I finally sat down to figure a name out for our little miracle. Just days before she was born, we finally eliminated Ella/Stella from our list because we knew it just didn’t sit well with us, compromising on a name we loved. We came to your website and we waffled back and forth between Molly, Sadie and Delaney. Each name sounded great with the middle name choice “Grace”, but we were stumped. After another day, we eliminated Delaney because that was our least favorite of the three names. I loved Sadie, my husband loved Molly, and we were stuck, but ultimately, my husband ended up adjusting to Sadie and so our miracle preemie daughter became Sadie Grace Marsh. Thank you so much for the help Swistle! We couldn’t have done it without you!

Amanda writes:

We are due in the next week or so with our second child, gender unknown, and I’ve just discovered I’ve been pronouncing one of our finalist names wrong this whole time! Our frontrunner for a girl has been Emmaline. I’ve only ever seen it written, and in my head, the ending rhymes with ‘teen’. But I just looked it up in the Baby Name Wizard and found out that it officially rhymes with ‘twine’ which I don’t like nearly as much. I had really liked the nickname options of both Emma and Lena. Is my way a legitimate alternative, or have I just made something up? Would I be dooming my child to a life of constant corrections? Our other choice for a girl is Norah. The middle name will almost certainly be Imogen. Our last name is pronounced De-FLOR-ee-o, and our older son’s name is Wy@tt.

I was finally feeling prepared, and now the fretting starts anew. Arrgh!

 
First I found the pronunciation on Forvo, where two readers pronounce it EmmaLEEN and one pronounces it EmmaLINE.

Then I found a preference/opinion discussion on Nameberry, where a couple of people say that the French pronunciation is EmmaLEEN, and where other people say it can be pronounced either way or even a third way (EmmaLIN).

Then I found a million other message boards that had the same basic content: people claiming to have ONLY ever heard it a certain way while other people insincere-LOL-ingly claimed to have NEVER heard it that way; lots of people claiming to be personally acquainted with three babies with that name when I suspect they are only trying to bolster their personal opinion with invented evidence; lots of people stating preferences but very little discussion of what is correct/legitimate.

Message boards give me a headache, but I think the consensus here is that EmmaLEEN is considered a legitimate way to pronounce it, and that no matter which way you chose to pronounce it you’d have some people pronouncing it wrong. I think I would come up with a standard correction ahead of time—something like, “Oh, no—it’s EmmalEEn, like Emily,” or “It’s EmmalEEn, like Pauline or Christine.”

If you want to make the pronunciation more clear, there’s also the option of altering the spelling. Emmaline is already spelled a ton of different ways (Emeline, Emmeline, Emaline), and none of the spellings are common enough to seem like a “main spelling.” Emmalene (like Irene and Arlene), Emmaleen (like Colleen and Kathleen), or Emmalena (to make it clearly a blend name) would all work, I think.

Name update! Amanda writes:

Thank you so much for all your help with our naming problem. All the comments really helped us make the final decision, and the work was not in vain! Despite the majority of friends and family predicting another boy, Emmaline Imogen arrived in the early hours of August 8, weighing in at a quite respectable 8lbs 12oz. We were keeping our name options top secret until she got here, and the reactions have all been very positive so far.

Thanks again!

C. writes:

I’m freaking out! My husband and I are expecting our first child in 4 days and I am way more anxious and stressed about naming this baby than I am about the whole labor process. Its such a big responsibility and we desparately need your help!!!!

We’ve been making lists of names now, since we found out we were expecting, but cannot come up with first/middle name combinations that fit with our last name. Our last name is pronounced Wibbly, which definitely rules out many of my favorite names (Rylee, Hadley, Kingsley), since I don’t want our child to have rhyming first and last names. Also, we’ve made the mistake of sharing our favorite names with opinionated family members… we were settled on Ayla if we have a girl, until a family member told me “it sounds like alien.” Now I’m having second thoughts, although my husband and I both still like it alot…

I don’t know if we have a particular style, but I seem to like names that start with vowels or soft sounds, and prefer names that are less common…

So, here’s what we have so far:

Boys:

Isaiah – I love Isaiah and its growing on hubby who initially said it was too old-fashioned and biblical…. So, we would like a newer trendier middle name (I like Dax, Jax, or Finn, but hubby is not so keen). I wonder if you would have any other suggestions?

Everett – I like this a lot too, but need suggestions for middle names…

Sawyer

Declan

Kingsley – too rhymey

Aidan – My old favorite, but now we have several aquaintances who have used it

Jackson/Oliver – I love the idea of shortening to Jax/Oly, but just too popular for me now

Girls:

Ayla Reese

Ayla Jean – Jean is after my grandmother, but I think this combo is too old fashioned for me… I worry that it sounds a little Hillbilly when pronounced with a Southern accent… I would love to hear yours and your readers opinions…

Aubrey Jean

Selah Jean

Selah Reese

Ayla Brielle

Rylee – husband’s favorite, but I think too rhymey with our last name

Hadley – again too rhymey

Thanks so much for your help!!!

PS We are feeling most stuck with boys names. So, if you are only able to help with one or the other, we would really appreciate help with our boys names. Thanks again!

There are several tools I think might be useful here:

1. The Social Security baby name website. Oliver is too popular for you—but your frontrunner Isaiah is even more common (#45 in 2010, versus Oliver’s #88). However, Oliver’s popularity is increasing while Isaiah’s is holding steady, and that’s a consideration too. Rylee is #102, but it’s #14 when combined with the spellings Rylie and Riley and Ryleigh. This is the sort of thing the site is great for: you can see where a name is, and you can also get an idea for where it’s going.

2. Choosing Between Two Finalists. You have more than two finalists, but I think these exercises can be very helpful for narrowing a list down.

3. This post, in which I give the advice I give all first-time parents, which is to see if you can figure out what your naming style is BEFORE you name the first baby (is it more Isaiah/Everett, or more Sawyer/Kingsley?), and to look through your lists for names where you could only use one of them (for example, Ayla and Selah: using one will eliminate the other, so make sure you’re choosing the one you like most) or names that wouldn’t make good sibling names later (would any of the name candidates pair poorly with any of the names you might like to use for siblings later on?).

I think Isaiah Wibbly is a great name. For the middle name slot, do you have any family names you’d like to use? Or any names that commemorate other things that are special to you (places, authors/characters, artists, schools)? Since you’re keener on Isaiah than your husband is, are there any names he liked that had to be eliminated for other reasons but could still be used in the middle name position?

You might also like Josiah, which comes with the nickname Joe if you want it—although perhaps Joe Wibbly is a little close to Bo Diddley.

Eli is nice, or Levi, or Ezra, or Asher.

For Everett, I like middle names that might be too common to suit your style: Everett John Wibbly, Everett James Wibbley, Everett Jack Wibbly. Or Everett Reid is less common. (I like Reid with Isaiah, too.)

Everett makes me think of Elliot and Everest.

If you like Kingsley except for the ending, Kingston might work for you.

I like Ayla Jean very much. The name Ayla is similar to Kayla; adding Reese as a middle name increases that similarity, and using Jean decreases it. The “alien” thing doesn’t bother me, but I know how these “helpful comments” from family/friends can really wreck a name. Paul and I were considering a pair of names for our twins, and a friend said “Oh, I love them! They sound just like characters from a romance novel!” …Oh. *names fizzle right before my eyes*

I worry that you’ll be unhappy with the popularity of Ayla over time. Right now it’s way down in the 300s, but the sounds in it are so current: Kayla and Haley and Lila and Ava and Bella rolled into one. I suspect it will either increase in popularity dramatically—or, more likely, just FEEL more popular because of all the similar names.

My favorite is Aubrey, but I don’t like the bree/blee combination with the surname. The name Audrey eliminates the B, but still is a little rhymey.

Since the -lee/-lie/-ly endings (and some of the -ee/-ie/-y endings) have been nixed by the surname, I think -lyn and -anna and -ella endings might work well, or -ra or -is or -er. If Rylee is a favorite, do you like Rianna? Rilyn? Raelyn? If Hadley is too rhymey: Hadlyn or Hayden or Adelyn. Aylyn would be even MORE like alien, but Kaylin/Caelyn/Braelyn/Ashlyn are less, or maybe Avelyn or Ariella or Sierra or Iris or Aida.

Name update! C. writes:

So, I am way late sending in an update. My baby is already 3 months old! We named him Isaiah Steven. Thank you for all of your help, I was so happy to have such positive feedback on the name Isaiah, which had always been my first choice. And, Steven is after his Daddy, which we hadn’t seriously considered until you suggested choosing a name with meaning behind it. Thanks again, we are very happy with his name!!!

Natalie writes:

My husband Aaron and I are expecting our second son on October 19, 2011… Which may seem far in the future, but when you have absolutely no idea what his name will be, the due date seems all too soon!

Big brother is Declan River. We settled on his name easily, but it was a total one-off; literally the ONLY name in the baby name book that we both loved.

My style for boys is kind of uncommon/old-fashioned/quirky, with a few surnames thrown in – Leo, Dashiell, Gideon, Sullivan, Beckett, and Jasper are all favorites that my husband has nixed. Aaron’s favorites all seem to come from three categories: Irish/Celtic (Keegan, Angus, Tiernan), uber-masculine (Hunter, Gunnar, Stone, Magnus) or extremely popular (Aidan, Noah, Liam).

With Smith as the surname, one of my top priorities is staying away from anything too common. I’d rather not use anything distinctly Irish, since we already have a Declan – it’s not the direction I want our set going. We want one more after this baby (three total) and I don’t want to be stuck in a rut. And the uber-masculine names just don’t appeal to me. At all.

We have agreed on a few names, but he always retracts his agreement within a few days, for one reason or another. This is (was) our short list, all of which are now crossed out:

Archer – Definitely our top name, but is now nixed due to Aaron’s fear of the nickname “Archie.”
Jonah – My second choice, Aaron liked it for a day, then claimed “it’s too soft.”
Finn – I was iffy on this one due to both popularity and the flow with a 1-syllable surname
Hudson – Just doesn’t feel “right” to my hubby, I can’t decide if it’s too trendy
Holden – Same as Hudson

At 25 weeks pregnant, we’re left with nothing. This would have been much easier if he were a girl, as our styles have more overlap – Annabelle, Georgia, Lila, Violet, and Rosemary were our short list, all of which we both like.

So, Swistle, do you see any obvious compromises that I’ve missed? Is there any hope of convincing him that Archer won’t be called “Archie,” or that Jonah is a strong name? Please help!

 
I know we are avoiding Celtic, but the name that sprang to mind is Aidric. It’s similar to Aidan, but way less common. Aidric Smith; Declan and Aidric.

Callum is another Celtic-choice-even-though-we’re-supposed-to-be-avoiding-Celtic. What I like about it is I don’t think it SCREAMS “Celtic”: it’s Celtic enough to go well with Declan, but not so Celtic that I think it would be incompatible with non-Celtic names. Callum Smith; Declan and Callum.

Felix is one of my own favorite quirky names, but I’m worried the X blends too much with the S of Smith.

Another favorite is Milo—but I suspect you will like it and your husband won’t. Milo Smith; Declan and Milo.

Or Hugo? Hugo Smith; Declan and Hugo.

Another I like is Ruben. Ruben Smith; Declan and Ruben.

Can I talk you into one of my new favorites? Pascal Smith; Declan and Pascal.

I think Archer is such a great choice for you. I think he might indeed be called Archie, but I think Archie is adorable. Perhaps you could still use it as a middle name, where it won’t be nicknamed: it’s nice with River.

Jonah’s main issue is that soft-A ending—used almost exclusively for girls in the U.S., except for biblical names. Jonas is a little better, but it blends with Smith and there are the Jonas Brothers to consider. Josiah, maybe, or is that getting too close to Joseph Smith?

Judah sounds stronger to me, but with the surname it sounds like Judas. Jude Smith works, I think: it’s a 1-1 syllable name, but Brad Pitt and Sean Penn carry it well. Jude Archer Smith; Declan and Jude.

Or Judson, nickname Jud if you want it. Judson Archer Smith; Declan and Judson.

Or Griffin. It has the Finn you both liked, but it’s longer. It’s more common on the Social Security charts (#231 to Finn’s #300 in 2010), but I suspect that’s a deceptive figure, considering how many people use Finley, Finnegan, Phineas, etc., to get the nickname Finn. (Which you too could use, if you wanted to.) I won’t suggest Archer as the middle name for this one (initials), but the middle name slot would be a good place for a name you’d both agree on except for a major issue (i.e., maybe a name you’d both love if it weren’t so popular, or if it weren’t too Celtic). Griffin Smith; Declan and Griffin.

And I know Finnegan is kind of Celtic, but it seems like a good way to make the name Finn a little longer. Declan and Finnegan is a pretty dashing pair of brother names.

Or Haskell. VERY uncommon, yet feels familiar from it’s use as a surname. Haskell Smith; Declan and Haskell.

Name update! Natalie writes:

Our little guy arrived via emergency c-section on October 12, 2011 – although it was very scary at the time, we are both doing wonderfully now. His name, Asher Wesley, fits him perfectly. We have gotten compliments on his name from nearly every nurse and doctor we’ve seen, and our family and friends have reacted to it very well also. He’s 6 pounds, 15 oz, and 19 inches long… seems so tiny compared to his big brother, who was nearly 9 pounds at birth! Big bro Declan (almost 2 years old) is just as head over heels as we are, constantly wanting to kiss his “beebee Ashoo.”

Thank you so much for the help in finding the perfect name! I can absolutely say that Swistle and commenters are where we got his name, we may never have settled on it without you all.

Amanda writes:

We are due with our third child in October. We are having trouble naming this little boy mainly because I am being stubborn and I am set on a name that my husband likes “o.k.” but I guess he is not head over heels for it the way I am! Anyway, to give you some background information our last name is Moncla. I believe it is french and pronounced just as it looks Mon (like mom) cla (almost like claw but without the w). Our first child was a girl, Lucille (Lucy) Elizabeth and our second was a boy Eli James. He goes by Eli.
I knew for when naming them that I wanted each of them to have a saint name being that we are part of the Catholic faith. What I didn’t intend was that they would each have a saint name and a biblical name. So for our third son I would like to stay with that criteria.
I would like for his middle name to be Jude for St. Jude (but not a must) and this would leave his first name to be the biblical name. (Yes, I know that Jude is also a biblical name.)
The name I “LOVE” is Abram. My husband actually had read it to me but it didn’t strike me until later. Now he is unsure about it. The other names that I like that he has shot down were Silas and Asa.
Names on my husbands list include Isaac, Ian, Sebastian (too long to go with Lucy and Eli, in my opinion) and Xavier. I like Isaac and Ian but I do not love them.
I am having a really difficult time making a decision and knowing that I have approximately 98 days left as of today is making me quite nervous!
Any help would be appreciated!

 
If you would like to be talked out of Abram because of your husband’s uncertainty, I’ll mention that the M at the end blends a bit with the M at the beginning of your surname, and that the name Abram Moncla is a little difficult for me to say aloud. Neither of these things are dealbreakers by any means—but I find for myself, it can help me to release my grip on The Perfect Name if I can find ways in which it’s not completely Perfect.

The name Abel leaves you with much of the sound of Abram (as well as with the great nickname Abe), but it removes the M problems. Abel Moncla; Lucy, Eli, and Abel.

I wonder if you would like the name Asher? I think it goes very well with Lucy and Eli. Asher Moncla; Lucy, Eli, and Asher.

Or Nathaniel. Nathaniel Jude Moncla; Lucy, Eli, and Nate.

I think Seth helps balance the strong sounds of the surname, and also goes well with the similarly gentle name Eli. Seth Moncla; Lucy, Eli, and Seth. I don’t think it works well with the middle name Jude, however.

Or Gabriel. Gabriel Jude Moncla; Lucy, Eli, and Gabe.

If your husband likes Isaac, I wonder if he would like Zachary? Same “zac” sound. Zachary Moncla; Lucy, Eli, and Zach.

I think Samuel would work perfectly: Samuel Jude Moncla; Lucy, Eli, and Sam. That’s my favorite option.

Or Jude could be moved to the first-name slot, though this is something you would have thought of already, so I’ll just say it because I like it: Jude Moncla; Lucy, Eli, and Jude.

If you find yourself hopelessly stuck, I’ll remind you of something you already know but which is so easy to forget during the baby-naming process: any self-imposed restriction can be removed. It’s easy to inadvertently set up a series of preferences that paint us into an impossible corner where not a single name we like works with all the preferences, and it can be a relief to realize that that’s all they are: preferences. You’ve mentioned that Jude is also a biblical name—which means that if necessary you could look in the Saints section for a first name instead of in the Biblical section, which wouldn’t even require the preferences to be altered (though I can certainly see wanting the Saint Jude instead of the Bible Jude). James and Elizabeth are biblical names, but they’re also regular traditional names used without biblical associations—which means you can drop that restriction if it’s trapping you, especially if you chose the names originally without thinking of their biblical characters. The name Jude could be ditched entirely in favor of a saint first name and a new biblical middle name—which again, means you could try your luck in the Saints section instead of butting heads in Biblical.

Name update! Amanda writes:

I very much enjoyed reading your suggestions for naming our third child and also the comments were great! You had suggested a name that I had thought of but didn’t really care for before but after seeing it with the other childrens names I fell in love with it. Samuel Jude Moncla was born on October 4th at 11 am weighing 8 lbs 8oz. There were some comments about the way Sam Moncla may sound like salmon claw but even that didn’t stop us. I absolutely love his name and it fits him perfectly! Thanks for all of your help!

Nicki writes:

I’ve been following your blog for most of my pregnancy, hoping to find the perfect name for my child, but so far, no luck! We are due in the next month, we don’t know the sex and we are floundering without a solid name for either a girl OR a boy! Please help! my husband and I have some very mismatched name lists and would love some additional suggestions from you and your readers!

Husband’s list of names:

Ava – (Solid ‘no’ from me as it’s way too common)
Katrina – (Both of us are losing confidence in this one. We don’t like Kat, but are fine with Kate)
Christian – (Also a ‘no’ from me, and this might be weird but I don’t want people to refer to him as “that Christian guy” :)
Sebastian – (I can’t find a decent nickname for this one)
Luca – (I like this one; husband think it sounds like a pro footballer)

My list:

Maya – (Always loved it, husband is warming to it but prefers Maia)
Ivy – (Husband hates it and is really good at coming up with horrible ways to distort beautiful names! H-I-V for this one)
Fern – (l love that it’s from Charlotte’s Web. Husband and our families all disapprove!)
Alexia
Oscar – (Husband sings the Oscar Meyer weiner song) (does anyone else have a husband like this?!!)
Felix

I should also mention that many of my favourites were cut early on due to the mismatch with our last name that is three syllables and starts with Eli- (like elephant). These were:

Noelle
Mielle
Stella
Elijah

As for middle names, we both feel strongly about using family names. We would probably choose based on sound match, but as you can see, this is going to be tough!

John
George
Rudolf

Magdalene
Christine
Alexis
Carrie
Frida

Any advice you can pass on will be helpful!! THANKYOU!!

PS. I should also mention that this baby will be born in France. Everyone seems to think we should find a french-sounding name, but I havent come up with anything (aside from Noelle, I guess). I also really liked the name Paris when we thought we would be delivering in Canada, but now that we are in France, I refuse to be that corny :( I feel that all my favourites have been thrown out the window! I need some fresh and expert name advice!

and

My problem has become a little more specific so I hope that you and your readers can help. Basically, we have more or less decided on a girl’s name, but are stuck if this little one ends up being a boy! We can’t agree on even a short-list so we are hoping for some fresh advice from you and your readers before this baby comes (due this month!).

Our last name is 3 syllables, starting with the sound Eli- (like elephant). The names we would like to use as middles are from our families: John and Rudolf, and we wouldn’t be opposed to using both for one child (I have two middles). We are even in mild agreement over using the name Jonathan Rudolf, but thats the closest we have gotten to a boys name at all. Since John/Jonathan is a major family name on my side, there are many in my family and so I do feel a bit repetitive using it for our child. Other names we have liked are:

Husband’s choices:

Luca
Christian
Sebastion

My choices:

Oscar
Felix
Nicholas (although it is similar to my name.. so I wouldnt want to use the same nickname that I go by. I like the nn Cole though.)

Girls names that we have decided on are:

Maya Noelle
Maya Christine
Katrina Alexis
Alexia Grace

Any and all help is much appreciated!

From his list, it sounds like the name Christian is probably out for you; from yours, it sounds like Oscar is out for him. That leaves us with Luca, Sebastian, Felix, and Nicolas.

Sebastian appeals to me most because it’s in the French section of The Baby Name Wizard, but it doesn’t hit us over the head with its Frenchness. I would probably spell it the French way (but leaving off the French accent mark): Sebastien. I’ve heard two nicknames for Sebastian/Sebastien. Back in middle school, I knew a Sebastien who went by Bas (pronounced Baz, to rhyme with jazz). And one of my former classmates now has a child named Sebastian, and she calls him Seb or Sebby.

Speaking of the French section, don’t react right away to this name: I think it’s a tough sell because of being unfamiliar (only 28 boys were given the name in the U.S. last year), but that it has tremendous potential for working wonderfully. Ready? Pascal. It’s French, and I think the sounds in it are similar to both Felix and Oscar (but with no song for your husband to sing).

I also wonder if you’d like Hugo. It has the rhythm and some of the sounds of Luca, plus it’s in the French section.

His choice of Luca and your choice of Nicholas make me think of Nico.

Looking ahead to future sibling name implications might help narrow things down. I’d say that using Oscar would eliminate Maya (speaking of the song) and vice-versa. Oscar and Felix would also be unusable as a sibling set for me, but I’m not sure how many people are still familiar with The Odd Couple. Felix and Alexia might be great together or might be too much X.

Name update! Nicki writes:

Thanks to you and your readers, we went into the hospital with a confident list for either a girl or a boy (finalists were Felix, Nicolas, Theodore/Teo, and Jonathan), and after a long labour we met our baby boy and named him: Benjamin Rudolf. It was such a random, out-of-nowhere name that I had vetoed from the very beginning. But oddly, the day after the birth, my husband and I just looked at eachother and said his name is Benjamin! After nine months of crazy name discussions, we didnt even hesitate. Regardless, we thank you all for your naming help and perhaps one day a little Maya or Felix will join our clan!

Thanks again!