Nichole writes:

I am due with our second child – another boy! – at the end of May. I am very superstitious about name-stealers and prefer to wait until after the baby is born and named to announce a name. And if my husband had his way, babies would leave the hospital and remain unnamed until their personalities start to show through. So, naming babies is a big deal around these parts! Needless to say, naming our first son was a very tough task. We went to the hospital with an “iffy” first name and just a vague inclination toward a middle name – and no backups whatsoever.

We are both the last in our families to have children, so all male family names were used a decade (or two) ago. I also had a set of very specific criteria for names (which I kind of laugh at now). A friend’s response to our criteria was to consider naming our son after my MIL. In the rest of the world, Cruz is a boy’s name, but in my husband’s Hispanic family, my FIL’s sister goes by it, as does my MIL. So, it was an honor name after my son’s grandmother. It felt so unconventional and we were hesitant. When we finally decided on Cruz, we cautiously tried it out on strangers in our birth class. We got a little braver and told some close friends who were also expecting their first child before finally telling his parents. Everyone liked the name except my in laws. My FIL was hesitant, but my MIL was panicked and not nearly as “honored” as we had expected.

We had shared with my MIL a girl’s name we picked out before we knew we were having a boy. Long (long) story short, literally from the moment he was born, she started to call him by the girl’s name we had picked out until I got testy with her and told her that she’d ruined that name for any future girls, and asked her to call him by his name. She wasn’t trying to be difficult; we found out later that she just never liked her name, particularly the way it sounded on her father’s angry lips. They now exclusively call him “Ezzie”, which is a play on his middle name (Ezekiah), and which we love and use as a NN as well.

For our second boy, we’ve chosen the name August Malachi, in keeping with an honor first name and a biblical middle name. August is an indirect honor to my grandfather, my MIL (again) and my husband – all born in that month. We’ve decided we will try and force the NN from birth as “Kai” – again playing on the middle name – primarily so we can avoid the NNs “Gus” or “Auggie” as much as possible. Both those NNs are borderline dealbreakers for us!) Are there other options for a NN that we’re not considering?

The very few people we’ve shared our chosen name with have not had what I would call positive responses. A close friend asked “can we reopen the name for discussion?”, which made me laugh, but also made me worried. Once again, we have absolutely no backup names and no “short list” to speak of. My husband doesn’t feel like we need a backup name and is convinced that it’s THE name, but I’m starting to worry we need a backup, just in case. I feel a slight sting every time I see or hear Cruz’s name used in any context other than a given name (as surnames, street names, etc.). It’s a bit ubiquitous for my taste and I worry over the same thing with the name August. We consistently have good reactions to Cruz’s name, but the reactions we are already getting to August make me hesitant. I would love to hear what your other readers think!

Thanks so much!

I suggest switching the names: Malachi August. Here are my reasons:

1. Trying to get people to call a child a nickname of the middle name seems like a tough sell. In Cruz’s case it happened out of necessity, as a solution for a difficult situation, but it’s not something I’d try to do on purpose unless I had a very compelling reason (such as being forced to use a family first name I hated).

2. It seems like an especially tough sell if you want them NOT to use the natural nicknames of the first name. If you strongly dislike the nicknames Auggie and Gus, putting August as the middle name avoids that issue while still using the honor name. And the middle name slot is a great place for an honor name. And you WANT to call him Kai!

3. The name Malachi is currently more commonly used in the U.S. than the name August, but if it bothers you to hear incidental mentions of the name, you will definitely hear the word August used more often. And the number of emails we’re getting here from people who want the nickname Gus makes me think the name is likely to get more common—and that the nickname Gus will get more intuitive.

4. It would be nice to have a consistent pattern (honor name, then biblical name), but with only one child a pattern hasn’t been firmly set—especially since I can’t find the name Ezekiah in an (admittedly brief) online search of the Bible. I suggest changing the pattern from “honor first name and biblical middle name” to “one honor name, one biblical name.”

August and Malachi are both great names, but it sounds like for your family it makes more sense to have Malachi in the first name slot. Let’s have a poll over to the right to see what everyone else thinks. [Poll closed; see results below.]

Name update! Nichole writes:

Just wanted to update you on the arrival of our second baby boy.  We carefully weighed our options after reading all the comments & suggestions we received from the post.  Then, on the very same day, we both had a dream about this boy and knew exactly what his name was supposed to be.   August Malachi came into the world following a fast & furious labor.  We think it suits him perfectly (even if the peds office just told us the name is very popular locally). He will go by August with nn being Mal or Kai.   Thanks so much!

JoLee writes:

We are due with our second boy in six weeks, and we still don’t have a name. Our older boy is named Beckett Wallace. We love his name and frequently call him B, so names that start with B are probably not going to work for his brother. My name is JoLee and my husband’s name is Nathan.

Our last name is Stevens with a ph. Because we have such a common last name, I want a first name that is distinctive and interesting. (Personally, I have always really loved having such a unique, but not way-out there, name.) The biggest issue that we are having is that a lot of names don’t sound that great with Stevens. Because Stevens has an S at the beginning and at the end, names that start with S (like Soren, a family name I really like) don’t work well, and names that end in an S (like Thomas) or another soft sound tend to blend into Stevens. Also, most names that end in -an, -en, -in, -on sound really rhyme-y (like Ethan and Soren). Of all the sound issues, I think the rhyme-y one is the worst offender.

Here are some possibilities we’ve considered:

August: My husband and I both really like August, maybe more than any other name on the list. It has loads of good nicknames. However, the -st at the end of the first name and the St at the beginning of our last name is a real sticking point for us. It’s even worse than an -s S combo.

Felix: I love Felix. It’s one of the only names from the beginning of my name search that has stuck around. It too has the -s S problem.

I seem to be really drawn to names that have a softer ending, so much so that I think I might have to overlook the -s S issue.

Quincy: We thought long and hard about this one too, but we can’t seem to fully commit. Maybe the name is too gender neutral for us? I know two girls named Quinsey. Or maybe it seems a little cutesy? I’m not sure. I think that names ending in -y sound good with Stevens. I’ve also pitched Rory and Cassidy, but I don’t think that either were ever strong contenders.

I also think names that end in an -o sound good with Stevens. My favorites are probably Hugo and Winslow. Is Winslow too out there?

Names that end in -er also sound good with Stevens, but I don’t like very many -er names. I’m not sure why exactly. My husband likes Alexander and Spencer. Both are too common for me. I know that Spencer was only #227 in 2010, but it’s much more common in my community. I know at least half a dozen Spencers. I could perhaps grow to like Fisher or Thatcher, but I’m not crazy about giving my child a “real word” name. We also considered Jasper.

Frederick is a family name that I think sounds good with Stevens. My husband is not keen on the nickname Fred.

Pascal is a name that I recently saw you recommend to someone else, and I think it would be a good one for us to consider too. We really wanted a Cal, but Calvin sounds too rhyme-y with Stevens, and we couldn’t find another Cal- name that we liked as well, although we considered Calloway for a while. Perhaps a Pascal could use Cal for a nickname. Or perhaps not. I’m thinking about this name for the first time as I write this.

My son’s middle name is a family name. Wallace is my husband’s middle name and the name of one of his grandfathers and one of my grandfathers. With all the Wallaces in our families, we actually chose Wallace before we chose our son’s first name. I think we will try to choose another family name for this boy’s middle name, but we aren’t as set on doing that. Honor name possibilities include: Parry, Alexander, Frederick, Russell, or maybe Donovan (as a variation on Donna, my mother’s name).

It seems likely that this will be our last child, but if we ever did have a girl we really love the names Beatrice and Portia. If we could actually commit to either is another issue entirely. I’ve loved Beatrice for years and Beckett would certainly have been a Beatrice if he had been a girl. Using the name Beckett might have made Beatrice impossible to use, but I decided I could give up Beatrice for the real boy instead of hanging onto it for the imaginary girl. My husband I both love Portia, but we worry that it is too close to Porsche.

Thank you, thank you Swistle!

 
Winslow leaps out at me from your list. Winslow Stevens; Beckett and Winslow. It’s true it’s very unusual in the U.S. for boys (only 18 baby boy Winslows born in 2010), and in fact I’ve started recommending it for girls because of Winnie/Willow. Still, I love it with Beckett, and with your surname, and so far it’s NOT being used for girls (not even in the Social Security database for girls in 2010).

My first thought for the August-ends-in-st problem was to try Angus or Augustus—but both end in S. There’s also Augusten, but that ends in -en.

Let’s see, unusual -er names. Oscar Stevens; Beckett and Oscar.

Alistair Stevens; Beckett and Alistair.

I’d like Casper to overcome the friendly ghost the way Oscar is overcoming the grouch. Casper Stevens; Beckett and Casper.

Miller is one of my favorite -er boy names. Miller Stevens; Beckett and Miller.

Keeler works well, too, I think. Keeler Stevens; Beckett and Keeler.

Or Coulter. Coulter Stevens; Beckett and Coulter.

I recommend the name Milo frequently; it seems to me to be at that perfect “unusual but not difficult, quirky but not weird” point. Plus, it came close to being my youngest son’s name, so I feel a little sentimental about it. Milo Stevens; Beckett and Milo.

For a y-ending, I like Grady. It’s surnamey like Beckett, and I think it sounds great with the surname too. Grady Stevens; Beckett and Grady.

I think the world may be ready for Murphy again. Murphy Stevens; Beckett and Murphy.

I saw a birth announcement for an Oakley a few months ago. Oakley Stevens; Beckett and Oakley.

Wesley is one of my favorite y-ending boy names, in a large part because of the nickname Wes, which I think is one of the best boy nicknames of all. If he goes by the nickname, there’s the -s/S problem; does that rule it out? Wesley Stevens; Beckett and Wesley.

Calloway makes me think of Campbell. Campbell Stevens; Beckett and Campbell. Cam for short.

I do think Cal might work as a nickname for Pascal. Pascal Stevens; Beckett and Pascal; B and Cal.

One more suggestion, sort of from nowhere: Reid. Reid Stevens; Beckett and Reid. People vary considerably on how they feel about repeating sounds; in this case, I like the repeating long-E.

 
Name update! JoLee writes:

Felix Parry Stevens joined our family on February 26th. At the time of his birth we had narrowed down the name choices to two: Felix and Winslow. For three days he didn’t have a name because we felt like he could easily pull off either option. Finally we had a chance to sit down together and decided Felix was the right choice. We love the name more and more every day. Thank you Swistle and readers for encouraging us to use a name we loved even if it didn’t sound perfect with our last name. And thank you all for giving lots of love to the name Winslow. It was very nearly this little boy’s name.

Erika writes:

We are due with our second boy in less than 6 weeks and need naming help. I’ve been following your blog my entire pregnancy and love hearing your suggestions and thoughts on baby naming. My husband’s name is Aaron and mine is Erika. Our last name is Kaltenbach. Our son’s name is Jude Aaron and I love so many things about his name. We are looking for something similar with our second boy. A shorter name since our last name is such a mouthful. Something not to popular but also not strange sounding. I have also shied away from first names with a strong K sound b/c of our last name. Middle name is flexible for us. Here is a glance at what we have plodded through so far:

Leo: my favorite – my husband doesn’t like the associations paired with it
Luke: we both like it but it feels to common particularly when you throw lucas in the mix but a definite front runner at this point
Holden: both like, something just feels off about it
Ty: hubby likes, I like but not my favorite
Cy: we both really like but have good friends with a Silas that they call Si

We are stuck in indecisive land and need your help! This will be our last child. Please help us find a name for our baby boy.

 
Because you like Leo and Ty/Cy, I suggest Milo or Levi or Eli:

Milo Kaltenbach; Jude and Milo.
Levi Kaltenbach; Jude and Levi.
Eli Kaltenbach; Jude and Eli.

If Holden is not quite right, do you like Landon or Hudson?

Dane would go beautifully with Jude, without over-coordinating. Dane Kaltenbach; Jude and Dane.

I might like Dean even more. Dean Kaltenbach; Jude and Dean.

Finn is another good short one. Finn Kaltenbach; Jude and Finn.

Reid is one of my favorite short boy names. Reid Kaltenbach; Jude and Reid.

Or Ian is on my own list. Ian Kaltenbach; Jude and Ian.

Ooo, or Gage. Gage Kaltenbach; Jude and Gage.

If it works with the first name, I like the idea of using Erik as the middle name, after you, since your first son’s middle name is after your husband. My favorite is Milo Erik Kaltenbach.

Luke would also be a good middle name possibility, if it feels too common to be the first name. I like Ian Luke Kaltenbach.

Name update! Erika writes:

An update from the Kaltenbach crew. Our second boy joined us 10 days early and we were so thrilled to have him join our family! We had decided on his name a few days before I went into labor and it was so wonderful to look at his face and know his name was Luke Josiah (grandfather’s name). He is a calm, steady baby and his name is a perfect fit! Thanks swistle, what a wonderful site you have to help parents decide on a name for their little one.

Karianne writes:

I first learned of your site when my friend Jen “Baby Boy _er, brother to Sisters Tatum and Campbell” wrote into you. I have read through pretty much every single post and like lots of your suggestions, so figured we’d see what your thought would be for us!

I have a long first name, Karianne, which I DO NOT shorten or allow for nicknames, Hubs however goes by his shortened name, Terry and NEVER goes by his full first name, Terence. Our last name rhymes with Hand, so as it is our two names together are very ring rhyme – Karianne and Terry Hand/Terry and Karianne Hand.

When we were due to have our first child we chose to not learn the gender, and had names selected for both boy and girl. Our daughter was born and named Kira. Our boy name was Elliot, with the potential to be called Eli, Leo, or Elliot. I am now due to have a Baby Boy in early May. And am no longer sold on Elliot, not totally opposed either.

A couple of things I will share….our last name rhymes with Hand, however contains a Hard R sound, therefore first names beginning with R are out. Also out are 1st names beginning with K. Since both myself and our daughter’s names begin with K we do not want to go down that road. I am not a fan of the top names of the past couple years, many are lovely names, but I really don’t want my kids growing up with multiple friends/peers of the same name. Nor do I favor odd, one off names. So now that that is nice and clear…

Some of the names currently on my list, and I say my list because my husband has yet to contribute even a suggestion. Silas, Benjamin, Gage, Evan, Elliot, Hale, Bennett, Tanner, Fisher. Names that have come off are Jacob/Jakob, Neil, Samuel, Lance, Colin. Our daughter calls the baby Jack. She is pretty adamant that this is his name. It very well may end being his name if we can’t figure one out on our own!

I am also interested in your thoughts on middle name. My father in law who I adored beyond belief passed away in 2001 and I have wanted our baby boy to carry his name, Alan, as his middle name from day one, however my brother in law, and husband’s only sibling recently passed away unexpectedly and I feel torn about leaving his name, Stephen, out (we will not be having more children). So while creating the above list I only thought about Alan as the middle name, and just don’t feel Stephen fits well at all. I have considered looking for a combo of both…Stalan, Stefan, Alaster….but my gut keeps going to Alan.

Any suggestions you could provide would be greatly appreciated. I know we still have a little time here, but each passing day shortens our window to agree on his name. Thanks in advance!

I immediately seize on the sister-suggestion of Jack as an opportunity to plug the name John: it feels common, and yet it’s hard to even find a child named John. He’d likely be the only one in his class, and he could go by John or Jack. John (H)and sounds handsome and distinguished, professional but in an “equally good for an artist or an executive” way.

The main point against it is that I’m with you on Alan, and if I’m correctly guessing your surname, the initials JAR are not ideal. They’re not awful either, however, and since you have a second possible honor name, may I give you a second plug in a row, this one for double middle names? My kids have them, and it has been less hassle and more satisfaction than I’d expected. John Alan Stephen (H)and; Kira and John. (I even like the way each child has a 4-letter name.) It would niggle at me very slightly that your daughter didn’t also have two middle names, but I think it’s such an understandable situation, and getting to use both important honor names would more than outweigh that issue for me.

Because you and your daughter have K-names, and in fact her name is spelled with the first four letters of your name, the mathematical part of my mind would love to find a T-name for your son (and wouldn’t it be fun if it could be spelled with letters from your husband’s name? but let’s not get carried away). So if you don’t mind the initials spelling TAR, or if you wanted to use both middle names and have TASR, Tanner from your list stands out. But I don’t like the way the R-ending merges with the R-surname. Other possibilities:

Theo
Thompson
Tobin
Truman
Tyson

But Elliot is on my own list of favorites, so I also feel the urge to push you to use that. Kira and Elliot! So nice. And I love it with your surname. One problem is that with the middle name Alan, the initials spell EAR. Not a deal-breaker, but I usually avoid spelling things with initials if possible, or at least I want to think about it ahead of time.

You could also go straight to Leo as a stand-alone name. It works well with Alan; I love it with your surname; I love it with Kira.

A name similar to Elliot is Everett. I like the way it ties in with the R of your surname and of Kira’s name.

Name update! Karianne writes:

Hi Swistle!  First a huge thank you to you and your readers/commenters for your thoughts and feedback on our baby boy’s name.  You gave us a lot to consider, especially the double middle name.

Our son arrived 10 days late on May 19.  Once he decided to make his entrance he came quickly (less than 2 hrs from arrival at the hospital he was delivered)!

Prior to his arrival we decided on Silas Alan as his name.  After his birth we toy’ed with the idea of adding Stephen (Silas Alan Stephen/ Silas Stephen Alan) but in the end my husband made the decision to stick with our original name plan.

Again thank you for your thoughts and helping us lock in on his forever name.

Here is a picture of Silas at 11 days old.

Carly writes:

We are due with our first baby, a boy, in April and my husband and I are having trouble finding a name.

To give some background information, I’m Irish and my husband is Italian, 1st generation. I’ve always been a fan of ethnic names so I’d like to find something Italian to match our very Italian last name pronounced door-ahz-io.

We were all set with girls name options (Luciana, Viviana, Valentina) with middle name Willa in honor of my lost little brother Ryan William. Our middle name for our son will be Ryan, even though it doesn’t “match” with any of the Italian-ness going on.

Our names are Matthew and Carly and we have two dogs, Sugar and Gus, and a cat, Jasper. We do hope to have more children in the future.

After going through some extensive exercises of writing top 5 lists and comparing and then comparing some more, we’ve each narrowed our favorites down to 1. (Well I have 2, whoops!)

· My husbands favorite is Marcello (pronounced mar-chel-lo), and while I don’t hate it, I also don’t love it. We’ve discussed nicknames and none stand out to me as a good fit. Marc, Marco, Marcus, March, Cello, Lo?

· My favorite is Santino and we would call him Santi or Santos. (My runner up is Xavier, it’s been on my list since I was in grade school, but the hubbie thinks it’s “weird”?)

Anyway, can you give some insight on what you think of these two names, or perhaps some other names that might seem to fit?

Thank you so much!
Carly

PS: Here is a small list of names that one of us liked but was dismissed

Theo
Dominic (most likely still on the list, but not at the top)
Milo
Sebastian
Vincenzo
Mason
Lucas
Dante
Elias
Damian
Cruz

PPS: I absolutely promise to write back with an update on what we’ve chosen!

I know very little about Italian names, so I’m working here with the Italian sections of The Baby Name Wizard, The Best Baby Names in the World From Around the World, and The Oxford Dictionary of First Names. I’m trying to choose names that will sound good in the U.S., which could very well mean I’m choosing the names that in actual Italy would sound like Erwin and Dudley.

I have a long-running campaign to promote the name Karl, which I think is vastly underused. Recently a celebrity named a baby boy Carlo, which seemed like it had potential for helping to bring the name into use: the popular o-ending! Plus, while still being definitely Italian, it’s recognized and easy to spell and pronounce. So that is my first suggestion: Carlo Ryan Doorahzio. It might be too close to Carly, or it might be a nice way to combine names: the father’s surname and an Italian first name—but one that reflects the mother’s name.

Matteo has been rising in popularity, perhaps also because of that o-ending. It gives the nicknames Matt and also Teo (TAY-o). As pointed out in the comments section, this might be too close to the name Matthew—or it might be a nice namesake name without being a junior, especially if he goes mostly by Teo.

Or Nico would be nice. Nico Ryan Doorahzio.

I’m also drawn to the Gian- names. I think those sound handsome. I like Giancarlo even more than Carlo. Gianluca would give him the nicknames Luca and Luke.

I like nicknames like Kip and Chip and Skip, so Cipriano appeals to me. On Forvo it sounds like a cross between a “sip” sound and a “chip” sound, and I think I’d use Chip as a nickname for anyone who had trouble with the full name.

Gus is a nickname trying to join Max and Sam and Jack; the main thing holding it back is the difficulty of choosing a longer version. Because you’re specifically looking for an Italian name (and it sounds like you’d like a nickname), I suggest Augusto, nickname Gus. [It’s pointed out in the comments section that Gus is already the dog’s name. I’ll leave this suggestion here anyway, for future reference for parents looking for Italian names.]

Name update! Carly writes:

We were so undecided that it took us until the last possible moment before checking out of the hospital to pick a name, but we ended up with….

Xavier Ryan D’Orazio

Thanks for chosing my question to post and thank you to all of the commentors.  I now have a list for our next child with all kinds of notes on it!

Katie writes:

I am a longtime reader and thought I would be more than prepared for my own baby name experience once it arrived. Well, here it is… I am due on March 30th with a baby boy and i am anything BUT well prepared! I have 3 different issues going on; not wanting a top ten name, Twilight, and initials I don’t know if I can use. To give you some background, my name is Katie, my husband’s name is Jon, and our last name is Detwiler. I grew up in Amish Country, and we have an Amish sounding last name, so that’s a factor for me as well, so I guess that’s a fourth issue for me! I would like to avoid some of the typical Amish names. Jon has given me 2 top five lists, “Unusual Names” (that I don’t think are actually that unusual) and “Normal Names.”

Unusual Names:

Aksel
Soren
Maximus
Zander
Riddick

Normal Names:

Jakeb (yes, that’s with an -eb at the end… Not going to happen)
Mason
Evan
Zeke
Finn

I seem to be having some mental block and can’t even think of any names I think I like or are right for this poor little man, so we settled on Jakob Soren or Maximus Grey as our top two finalists.

These two finalists have produced all 4 of my issues. Jakob/Jacob is Jon’s #1 name out of all 10… It has been in the top five names for what seems like a hundred years, it’s Amish, and my sister in law is due a month before me and their girl name is Bella. Really. Maximus Grey gives us the initials MGD. I think we might have been ok a few years ago with these initials but then out came MGD 64… Does that even matter?

So I need to know if I should just get over any of these issues, or if you think any of them are actually legit. My pick is definitely Max, but those initials are bothering me. Also, if we were having a girl, we both like Ellie, but Jon preferred Eleanor and I preferred Eloise for her full name.

If you take a look at our style and have any new name suggestions as well, we’re still definitely open to a change! Thank you!

 
I had to Google MGD 64 to see what the issue was. But I’m not a beer-drinker; if you were considering the name Smirnoff or even GNT I would have known what was what. And Jacob Detwiler wouldn’t have made me think Amish.

But I think it can be tempting to dismiss anything as silly if it’s not a familiar association: I haven’t seen Titanic so Jack and Rose seems like a dismissible thing to worry about—but ask me about siblings Max and Ruby and I’m completely opposed: the associations I recognize seem shocking, while the associations someone ELSE recognizes seem barely worth considering—only because they’re not important TO ME, which is not the question when we’re talking about the societal impact of a name. With the polls I always want to separate out the opinions of the people who HAVE the association from the people who don’t. Let’s have a poll over to the right and see if we can do that even though it makes the response options kind of LONG.

It seems too that the MGD issue would be a simple problem to fix, unless you’re totally set on Grey as the only middle name you want to consider. Even if you think the initials are a deal-breaker, that doesn’t rule out the name Max.

While I might not name siblings Edward and Bella, I don’t see a problem with Jacob and Bella for cousins. The name Bella is fairly strongly associated with Twilight (though all the Bellas, as well as all the Isabellas going by Bella, help to reduce that), but Jacob is common enough to have an even more diluted set of associations. And Bella and Jacob don’t end up together romantically, right? So it’s not a connection that would bother me. But again, we have the personal associations factoring in: I skimmed the first Twilight book and that’s it, so of course the association would seem insignificant to me. What we want is SOCIETY’S reaction. Let’s have a second poll over to the right about this issue.

Between Jacob and Maximum, my own favorite is Jacob. Jacob Detwiler seems like a nice boy, and handsome. And J.D. makes a cute initial nickname, if you want it.

From the entire list, my favorite is Soren Jacob. It lets your husband have his favorite name but without the Jacob/Bella issue, the Top Ten issue, or the Amish Name issue.

We recently discussed Maxon/Maxton, if you’d want to consider a different long form for Max.

Because you have Zander and Zeke, I wonder if you would like Xavier?

Evan from your list makes me think of Ian. But it gives the initials I.D., if you want to avoid that. (A D-surname sure is hard to work with for those of us who prefer not to spell anything with initials! 2012 A.D., CD, double-D, ED, fire dept, g-d, high definition, show your I.D., M.D., O.D., police dept, Rd., etc.)

Be sure to vote in both polls to the right (er, I mean if you WANT to); it’s common when we do two polls for the first of the two polls to get significantly more votes than the second. Heck, let’s throw in one more poll: Jacob or Maximus? And be sure to leave other suggestions in the comments section. [All three polls closed; see results below.]

Poll results for “The Initials MGD” (479 votes total):

• I recognize the association, and it’s a deal-breaker – 24 votes (5%)
• I recognize the association, but I think it’s no big deal – 198 votes (41%)
• I didn’t recognize the association but now I think it’s a deal-breaker – 6 votes (1%)
• I didn’t recognize the association but I don’t think it’s a big deal – 234 votes (49%)
• OMG I cannot even figure out these options – 17 votes (4%)

Poll results for “Is it okay to have cousins named Jacob and Bella?” (507 votes total):

• I thought of Twilight, and I’d really avoid it – 55 votes (11%)
• I thought of Twilight, but it’s still totally fine for just cousins – 185 votes (36%)
• I didn’t think of Twilight, and now that I have, I’d avoid it – 19 votes (4%)
• I didn’t think of Twilight, and now that I have, I still don’t think it’s a big deal – 242 votes (48%)
• I am now too confused to vote – 6 votes (1%)

Poll results for “Which do you prefer?” (444 votes total):

• Jacob Detwiler – 302 votes (68%)
• Maximus Detwiler – 142 votes (31%)

Name update! Katie writes:

Baby Boy Detwiler was born March 30, 2012 (a month after his cousin Isabella!). After all the polls and comments generated from your post we thought we should go with Jacob… But after really hashing it out we decided that Maximus Grey was meant to be, and the initials weren’t a big deal at all.  So here he is, Maximus Grey Detwiler :)

L. writes:

We are expecting our first baby, a surprise, February 22, 2012. My husband was very close to his grandfather, Harry, and my last name is Harris, so we think something in that vein would be meaningful. We have decided on Harriet for a girl, and both love it. (Her middle name would be Perrine, my mother’s maiden name.) For a boy we had settled on Harrison, nickname Harry, but I am having doubts. (His middle name would be Matthew, after my husband.) Here are some concerns:

The baby’s last name will be Hamilton, my husband’s last name. I worry that Harrison Hamilton is too singsongy, and the two last names are too interchangeable (sounds very similar to Hamilton Harrison). My husband points out that Harry Hamilton, what our son will go by, doesn’t come off that way (although he is a bit worried about the alliteration).

I am also worried that, although the name isn’t overly popular at the moment (consistently in the 200s in the Social Security database for the last couple of decades), the -son ending for boys is pretty trendy right now (Jackson, Mason, Grayson, Hudson, etc.) and Harrison has recently become very popular in Australia and England, which might suggest it’s about to catch on here in the U.S. Because my husband and I both went through school sharing our names with lots of classmates, we’re hoping to avoid putting our kid in the same situation.

I do think it’s a solid, sweet name with lots of significance for our family. It would be cute on a little boy and respectable on a man. And as an Indiana Jones/Beatles fan, my husband is happy with those associations.

The alternative is Harris, which doesn’t end with -son and isn’t even in the top 1000, popularity-wise. It also seems to flow better with Hamilton. But it is my last name–is that weird?–and my husband likes it less, although he is open to it. It also sounds less “name-y” in this day and age than Harrison.

Your advice would be appreciated!

 
I vastly prefer Harris Hamilton to Harrison Hamilton, for all the reasons you mention. Furthermore, I have a huge soft spot for the mother’s maiden name (whether or not the mother is still using it) used as a child’s name: I think it’s a meaningful and touching choice, especially when the child will be receiving his father’s first name as his middle name, as well as his father’s surname.

Or there’s the option of just naming him Harry. It’s not so nicknamey that it can’t stand on its own. This is particularly appealing if your husband’s grandfather’s given name was Harry.

Let’s have a poll over to the right, to see what everyone else thinks. [Poll closed; see results below.]

Name update! L. writes:

Thank you to everyone for your input!  In the end, all the stress was for naught:  Harriet Perrine Hamilton was born on February 15, 2012.  (She’ll be 8 months old in a few days–here is a recent pic.)  She has the perfect name for her.  In the end we decided on Harrison for a boy, but I was never completely at peace with it.  So everything worked out!

Lauren writes:

My husband and I were sure we were having a girl until our ultrasound said otherwise! We have one boy’s name that we had both liked early on (Oscar), but now that it’s “real” I’m not sure it’s right for our son. And with time ticking (we’re due in May, but I’m a planner), my husband is quick to veto but unable to come up with his own suggestions! We actually do agree on general ideas (not too trendy or popular, we like traditional/old-timey/preppy names, and we have no syllable/vowel/whatever preferences or requirements about it) but when it comes to specifics, we’re having some trouble. My husband’s name is Fletcher which he and I both LOVE. We have only met one other Fletcher ever but it’s not a “weird” name by any means. We would love to find something just like that for our boy!

My absolute favorites are Griffin and Fisher, but he’s not sold on either of them yet. Names we both generally like include Felix, Oscar, Owen, Milo, and Henry, but we think that the last three are too trendy (we love Liam, but that has the same problem). Our tastes do diverge, though. I love names like Connor, Cooper, Hunter, Jonah, Jude, Miles, Miller, Rowan, Sawyer, and Spencer–none of which he likes enough (and some he hates!). He loves Elliot but I like it better as a middle name. Other middle names we like include Leighton, Freeland, and Montgomery (all family names, though that’s not a stipulation). His last name will be my husband’s last name which starts with a D and rhymes with Purant (think the sound a cat makes plus the insect)–so names like Grant are out. I also don’t like D first names with a D last name.

Anyway, as you can see, we could use some help! Is Fisher too matchey with my husband’s name? Is there a good middle name for Griffin that would make my husband love it? Are we missing that magic name? Is there a combination in all of these that we aren’t seeing?? There’s a good chance that this will be our only child but it’s possible that we’ll have one more. If we were having a girl, we would have named her Mabel, Clementine, or Clara.

Many thanks and Happy New Year!! I promise to send an update AND a picture when our son arrives. And because you seem like the kind of person who might like this, here’s a preview of what he looks like. The caption would read “Hi Swistle, please help name me!”

 
This is a suggestion you have certainly thought of, but I am going to go right ahead and make it anyway because it’s kind of an uncommon to start up in our generation: how would you feel about having a junior? You and your husband both love your husband’s name, and you’d both like something just like that for your son—so perhaps go right for it?

Or he wouldn’t have to be a full junior: you could give him a different middle name, to reduce confusion and to let you still have the fun of choosing at least one new name.

If you’d rather not, but you wouldn’t mind using something very close, Thatcher or Archer would be adorable. (I learned just this minute from The Baby Name Wizard that a fletcher is an arrow-maker, so that makes Archer particularly appealing for that connection.) Fisher is a great name and I want to finally know someone who uses it—but I think it’s confusing/tongue-twisting with Fletcher (I keep getting Flesher and Fitcher.)

I wish he liked Miller. That seems like a really good one.

Instead of Elliot: Everett or Emmett.

Instead of Liam: Leon.

Instead of Griffin: Gideon or Finnegan or Phineas.

I also love Felix from your list. When I was reading through the letter but before I’d gotten to that list, I thought “They like Oscar and Fletcher—I should suggest Felix!”

Milo might be a little trendy, helped in this impression by a couple of actresses who used the name for their sons. But it’s been awhile since anyone famous used it, and I’m only willing to say “MIGHT” be a “LITTLE” trendy, and it was one of the three finalists for my youngest baby, and I still really like it for you. That little ultrasound hand-wave has the attitude of a Milo, and I think Milo has just the right mix of quirky and well-rooted.

Or would you like Nico instead? Or Theo? Or Leo? or Hugo? I think Hugo would be great: Hugo Purant.

I also think you might find Oscar is the right name after all, once you’ve had time to get used to him being a boy. Oscar is so great with the sister names, if you have a girl later on: Oscar and Mabel; Oscar and Clara; Oscar and Clementine.

Harrison just came to mind. It’s surnamey like Fletcher, and it’s nice with the surname: Harrison Purant.

For a middle name, I suggest your own surname if it’s at all name-like.

For Griffin, Elliot seems like a good middle name to maybe tip your husband into using it: Griffin Elliot Purant. One downside is that the initials would spell GED, like the high school equivalency exam, but for me I don’t THINK that would be a deal-breaker.

The names Fletcher, Felix, Oscar all have a sort of crackle in them. Looking for other such names:

Aidric
Atticus
Baxter
Beckett
Declan (starts with D, I know, but I want it in the list anyway)
Ezekiel
Frederick
Haskell
Jasper
Lennox
Marcus
Mattias
Micah
Nicholson
Paxton
Walker
Winston

Or here’s a long-shot to consider: Pascal. It takes a little getting used to, but I think it has huge potential: familiar yet almost unused in the U.S., and very similar in sound to names like Oscar and Felix, and with a super sciencey namesake to boot. Pascal Mother-Surname Purant-with-a-D.

Name update! Lauren writes:

We wanted to give you an update on our little lion, who came into this world 9 weeks early. It seems that Felix Everett Purant (with a D) just could not wait any longer to be with us. He’s getting stronger by the day and we’re so in love with him. Thanks for your help–Everett was one of your suggestions and is the perfect middle name for our little guy. We’ve already gotten a million compliments on his name.

Sarah writes:

I’ve enjoyed reading your advice. I wonder if you could help my husband and I….I’m due in two weeks (end of Jan. 2012) and we’re still struggling (stressing a bit) with baby names. We have two children (Hugh Thomas age 4, Claire Ann age 3). We don’t know if we’re having a boy or a girl. (Hugh is a family name…starting with my grandfather and it goes way back and Thomas is my father-in-law. Claire was just a name we liked and Ann is a favorite family name on both sides.) Our last name is Irish – sounds like Fitzpatrick. My husband’s ancestry is all Irish – I’m of Irish and Scottish descent.

One boy name that we both like is Grant Regan. Grant is another family name and Regan is a family surname. I would love your thoughts on a quick question regarding this…do you think we’re crazy to have sons named Hugh and Grant since there is an actor named Hugh Grant? (For the record I like Hugh Grant so I don’t have bad associations with his name.)

Some of the other boys names we’re considering are:

George Regan (George – after my father + husband’s grandfather)
Cormac Regan (Cormac – a shortened version of a family surname name)
Cormac George

Our hesitation with Cormac is that there are conflicting defintitions – one is impure son (not so nice), others are son of charioteer or raven. I’m not sure how much weight to give these definitions or if I should let the family tie of the name matter more.

For girls we’re even more lost. Here are some we’ve been thinking of:

Alexandra Christine (I’ve always loved Alexandra and Christine is after my late mother-in-law)
Alexandra Regan
Alexandra Jane
Sadie Christine
Mollie Katherine
Katherine Regan
Alice Regan
Alice Christine
Georgia Regan
Abigail Regan
Flora Christine

Any thoughts or ideas would be most welcome!

 
I will make this quick so the other commenters can get at it too: it’s already been a week since you wrote, so TIME IS SHORT.

Brothers named Hugh and Grant immediately bring the actor to mind, and for me it’s to startling and comic effect. Like siblings named Ronald and Reagan, or Charles and Darwin. I vote no—but with great regret. If nothing else, I think you and they would get completely fed up with people remarking on the connection.

Instead I suggest Graham (even this is a little close, but it helps that there is a sister in between), Reid, or Dean. (I wish I could recommend Clark, too, but I think it’s too close to Claire.)

And I love your idea of George, and feel like pushing you to use it. George Regan! Very handsome. That’s my favorite.

The iffy definition of Cormac wouldn’t bother me. I looked it up in The Oxford Dictionary of First Names, and it says “Traditional Irish name of uncertain origin.” This name, like many, many, many others, has no standard meaning; meanings found in other books have been made up (with various degrees of legitimacy) to please people who like all names to have meanings.

The family tie is definitely more important here: the meaning of the name becomes THAT connection, rather than something from a baby name book, just as the meaning of George for your family is “mother’s father and father’s grandfather” rather than “farmer.” And I would get a copy of the Oxford book, put it on the bookshelf, and refer to that if little Cormac ever looks up his name in some other book and comes to you to confront you with your choice. “The Oxford Dictionary says so, Cormac!” you can say. “Uncertain origin!”

Wasn’t I planning to make this SHORT? Then we’d better move along to girl names.

With Claire, my stand-out favorite from your great list is Alice. In the next tier of favorites are Georgia, Abigail, Flora, and Mollie (which I’d spell Molly unless the spelling has significance).

I also suggest Eve and Eliza and Rose.

Let’s turn it over to the commenters now. Which boy name and girl name are your favorites for Baby Fitzpatrick?

Name update! Sarah writes:

Hello everyone – Thank you all for your help! We had a little (6 lb. 2 oz.) girl at the end of January. I was so convinced that we were having a boy that I had to ask twice when they told me we had a girl. My husband and I were set on using either Cormac George or George Regan so we were surprised to have to come up with a girl name! We named our daughter Alexandra Jane – even though it is a longer name than our other children it really seems to suit her well.

Thanks again for all of your comments!

Traci writes:

You helped me out less than a year ago when we were expecting our first. Now we’re expecting AGAIN.
Besides the craziness that is having two babies less than a year apart, we have a new naming issue.
We don’t know the gender of this baby, but if it is a girl, we would like to name her Marina Lynn, after both our mothers. (His mother = Marina, Mine = Lynn). I love most everything about the name Marina. I love that my husband loves it, I love the way it sounds, I love that it is a precious namesake like our first child. The ONLY THING I don’t like about it is that Marina is a thing in English. (A place, actually. “Let’s have lunch at the marina.”) To me, a name that is a thing/place like Marina is different than a name that is a thing like Rose. I can’t explain why, exactly, but it just bothers me. As an avid reader of your site (and because you steered us so right the first time and we took your advice and couldn’t be happier!) I thought that I’d get your take on it. Should I get over it? Is there a way to frame it that might help me get over it? I also thought of spelling it Marinah. Does that seem like a viable solution? Is there another solution I haven’t thought of? I thought you might take the opportunity to talk about names that are things (or places) in general, to help more readers than just me.

Thank you!

This is the kind of question where I have to rein in my urge to PUSH you to use the name. You love it! It’s a family name! Place names are a totally valid category of names! I want to FORCE the place issue not to bother you! But if something bothers, it bothers, and there’s no “just don’t let it” about it. So let’s work on the reframing idea.

In this particular case, it would influence me whether you live near a marina or not. DO you ever suggest having lunch at the marina, or is there no marina? Proximity/confusion issues matter to me, which is why I also wouldn’t suggest using Madison in or near Madison, Wisconsin, or Brooklyn in or near Brooklyn, New York—but wouldn’t blink at either one of them used in Michigan. But of course people can move later on, so it still doesn’t dismiss the point.

It also matters to me how tied the name is to the place. I don’t immediately think of Madison and Savannah and Florence as place names even though I know they are; Georgia is definitely a place name but also strongly a name-name; and India and Ireland are places until I shake off the confusion and realize that in this case it’s someone’s name. For me, Marina is somewhere between Savannah and Georgia: I’d know it was a place, and I’d know to take that into account—but it wouldn’t bother me to use it, even knowing that the child might later move to Georgia or near a marina/savannah.

In fact, maybe it would help to think how quickly a place association can vanish. Brittany! Austin! Jordan! Devon! Cody! Chelsea!

Or, this one may backfire, but: do you think of a marina whenever your mother-in-law’s name comes up? (If so, never mind and forget I said anything.) Has anyone you know ever commented on the connection? (“Marina? Oh, like the place we have lunch!”)

Or it helps me to think about how serious a situation it would be if the connection WERE made, or if the child DID move later on. How much of a problem/issue would it be for a girl named Madison to live in Wisconsin? There were 152 more of them born there last year, so my guess is it’s not too bad. And Brooklyn is #15 in New York even though it’s only #34 nationally. Place names are common honor names, so the connection can be a positive one.

Do you LIKE marinas? If someone hates roses, Rose is probably a non-starter of a baby name for them; but if they love roses, it adds to the appeal and makes the name an even more personal choice. The appeal of a forest or a haven or a savannah or a sky can be the very thing that makes someone CHOOSE a name like Forrest or Haven or Savannah or Skye.

Marinas are pretty.

It’s too bad about Mirena, or I’d recommend that spelling. Marinah looks like mah-RY-nah to me, probably because of Mariah. I suppose you could use Marena (though I might say that one mare-ree-na or mah-RAY-nah instead of mah-REE-nah), but I think it’s probably best to stick with the standard spelling.

Name update:

Hello, Swistle!

You helped me name our first child, and then we had a question about our second child who we wanted to name Marina. That child was born a beautiful baby boy. Four years later we welcomed our third child, a girl. We named her Marina Lynn, after her two grandmothers. We took your wonderful advice and kept the name as it was, without changing the spelling. We are thrilled. We love the name, and it suits her. I don’t have any hangups about a Marina being an actual place (in part because we no longer live near a marina.) Also, my mother was incredibly touched and honored at the namesake. Thank you for your great advice! Even years later it’s helpful. You helped us name two out of three of our children.

Oh here’s a photo of little miss Marina Lynn!