Amy writes:

My name is Amy, and my husband’s name is Dallaway, but he goes by his middle name, Jacob. We have 5 sons (!). Twins: Jones Milo and Dallaway Miller who are 8, Foster Henry, 6, Maguire Thomas, 4, and Lanham Grant, 3. We’ve gotten pretty good at naming boys, and assumed we’d probably be having a 6th boy and decided on Harrison Jonah. But to our surprise, we’re having a girl! And we’re completely lost! We are due in June, so we have some time, but it is really stressing me out that we have no where to begin! My husband’s family naming tradition kind of started our own thing. The Renyold tradition is that the first born son (who is my husband) name his first child his mother’s maiden name. Many people in his family go  by middle names, such as my husband. So when we discovered we were pregnant the first time, we knew our child would be Jones Milo or Jones (Joannie) Katherine. At the discovery of twin boys, we had some issues. Baby A would be Jones…but what do we do with Baby B? We decided to continue the maiden name theme so the names were similar. It just kind of kept going through the 5 boys.. We’ve used Jacob’s mother’s and both grandmother’s middle names (Jones, Dallaway, and Foster). Then moved to my mother and paternal grandmother for Maguire and Lanham.
Now, we can’t decide if we should try to continue the last name theme with our little girl or just pick a name we like. She is likely to be our last (but we said that with the last 2. ; ) ) I would want her to have a family name in there somewhere.

Useable family (not last names) names:
Katherine
Allison

Hazel

Molly

Susannah

Last names that could be used:
Harrison (not for my daughter, ever)
Keeton

Baily (our best bet for a girl with last name. This is my great grandmother’s maiden name).

Names I like: (husband hates the first 3, but is open to use as a middle name. He isn’t particularly fond of any)
Jane
Milly

Rose/Rosie (not with Renyold, though)

Audrey

Clara

Julia

Names he likes:

Sterling (I’m afraid it’s a bit too masculine seeing as we do have 5 boys. I don’t want her to get lost in the testosterone. But I like it.)
Felicity
Ella (too popular for me, but would consider Eleanor)
Amaryllis

Hyacinth

Zippora
(he’s kind of all over the place)

We can’t seem to agree on anything! Right now, we have considered:

Clara Allison (my favorite)

Hazel Felicity

Amaryllis Katherine

Susannah Eleanor

Clara Jane

Baily Sterling

Amaryllis Keeton (husband’s favorite)

Please help us!!

Name update! Amy writes:

Our little girl surprised us all by making an early appearance 2 weeks early. Our beautiful red headed blue eyed little gal came into the world May 18th at 6:43 p.m. weighing in at 6 lbs 3 ounces, 19 inches long. We had a few naming choices in hand at the hospital, and after seeing her, we knew she was our Felicity Keeton “Renyold”. We love her and her name, and her brothers are all smitten with their “Lissie”. Thank you and your readers for your help!!

Lena writes:

Swistle, I am due with a boy in 9 days, and having last minute doubts about our name choice!
My name is Elena Maeve (EH-LEEN-AH), always called Lena, and my husband is Bert Adam. The baby’s last name will be Reiser (REE-SIR). My husband has been pushing so hard for a junior, and after being skeptical at first, I am now in love with the idea. Our son will most likely be Bert Adam Reiser Junior. The problem is what to call him on a day-to-day basis. We have vetoed Bert, because it is just too confusing, and I dislike the idea of calling him two names, like Bert Adam. To make things more complicated, my father, brother, and 2 year old nephew are also named Adam. My father is Adam Nolan E_______ who goes by Adam, my brother is Adam Nolan E________ II who goes by AJ (Adam Junior), and my nephew is Adam Nolan E__________ III who goes by Tripp. So my son cannot be called Bert, Bert Adam, or Adam. We thought about BJ (Bert Junior), but I refuse to give my son those initials. So then Bert came up with just calling him Junior, and surprisingly, I LOVE it. It sounds so cute to me, perfect when he’s a child, and as he grows older we will let him decide if he wants to be Bert, Bert Adam, or some other nickname. So, we were all set to name our son Bert Adam Reiser, and call him Junior, when my mother visited and I made the mistake of telling her his name. She told me that she thinks Junior is a hideous name for a dog, and while it is our decision, we should definitely NOT use it. UGH!!! Then I started to ask some of my friends, and they all told me the same thing (much politer of course!!). So now we are totally rethinking this with only 9 days left, and have no clue what to do. The other option is to name him Tobias Bert, called Toby, which is our runner up name (We both love this too, just not as much). We don’t think that we want more than one child, although you never know. If this baby was a girl she would have been Lucille Greta, called Lucy, or Louise Greta, called Louie.

Some names that we loved but eliminated for various reasons were: (to give you a sense of our taste):

Louis
Tobin
Archie
Holden
Elijah
Edison

(We’ve been told we like Grandpa names☺)

Our final questions are, should we just go with Junior if we love it, or does it sound too doggy, is Tobias Bert a better choice, what are some other nickname options for Bert Adam Reiser Junior???

Thanks!

Nicknames come into and go out of style, just like names do. For awhile, most of the Elizabeths are called Bess or Betsy; then most of them are called Liz; then most of them are called Beth. Then Libby, then Elizabeth-no-nickname-just-Elizabeth, then Ellie—and then Betsy and Bess come around and start sounding fresh and pleasing again.

I think what is done when a father and son share the same name is similarly a matter of current styles. For awhile it was Junior/Chip/Trip, but that gave way to using Bob and Bobby, or Big Bob and Little Bob. Then that seemed to cause problems as well, so we started calling the child by his middle name, or even by a nickname of the middle name. And now I think we’re coming back to Junior and Trip.

It’s always an issue when two people in the same house have the same name—but then it’s different when the child grows up and has a home of his own. When the child is older, he can help choose his own nickname if he doesn’t like the one you’ve chosen; and when he grows up, it’ll no longer be an issue: he can continue to use his nickname, or he can use his given names. So all that is needed here is a Temporary Childhood Solution (Junior, Bobby, Little Bob, going by a middle name, etc.).

In my opinion, you’ve found it. Junior is a little startling because it’s gone out of usage, but I found that after a moment or so it struck me as very pleasingly retro. As with names such as Sally and Hank (and Archie and Bert!), I think it’s ready for reuse.

Because you’ll be on the cutting edge, I suspect you’ll encounter a little resistance—but I also suspect the resistance will fade quickly. It will be harder for the older generations: just as we’re more resistant than current teens to the re-emergence of shag haircuts and leg warmers, so the older generations are not quite as ready to hear Junior brought back. I’d be gentle and jokey about it: “It’s hip, mom! It’s like orange and owls and daisies: it’s HAPPENIN’!” (And maybe let her use her own nickname for him, if you’re willing and if she really can’t get used to it.)

The dog-name aspect, however, does not seem like an issue; I’m not familiar with Junior as a common dog name, and even if it IS common as a dog name, it is much better-established as a nickname for your exact situation. And you love it: you love the idea of a junior, and you love the idea of a Junior—so it seems like you should go with both, instead of changing things around because of an initially unfavorable or tepid reception (which, again, I think is likely to improve with time). And it’s just a nickname, so it can easily be changed if you’re not happy with it. Perhaps after he is born, a different nickname will naturally emerge.

If you decide against Junior, though, I suggest Barry. It’s a bit of a reach (it comes from the initials BAR; it could also come from the first three letters of Bert, but I think Berry may look too feminine), but I think it would work. Or Bertie, of course, which I’m fond of because of the P. G. Wodehouse books (that Bertie is a bit dim, but also good-natured and likeable and kind and generous). Or you could call him B: this is a nickname style I’ve been seeing more and more, and I like it.

Or you could call him B.A. for his first and middle initials, or B.R. for his first and last. Over the years I’ve known a few people who went by unusual initials (i.e., not the more common ones such as T.J. or R.J.), and what I’ve found is that it seems a little awkward at first but soon becomes natural. (B.A. sounds natural to me already, because I used to babysit for one.)

He could go by Reis, as a short form of your surname. Or, was your husband named Bert after another Bert, maybe a Bert whose legal name was something longer, like Robert or Herbert? That might be another place to look for nicknames.

Name update! Lena writes:

I’d just like to thank you and your readers so much for helping me and Bert find a name we love for our son! Bert Adam Reiser Junior was born May 23, and is gorgeous and healthy! We decided that we really did love the name Bert, and the idea of having a junior, especially since we don’t think we want any more children. After reading what you and your readers said, I decided that I wasn’t so sure about calling him Junior anymore. We loved the suggestion of Berry and Bear, and had planned to call him Junior just inside the family, and Berry on a day-to-day basis. However, from the day he was born the name, Bo just fit, and we’ve been calling him Bo ever since. When he gets a bit older we might call him Junior or Berry, but for now we love Bo, and it fits him perfectly!

Thanks for everything,
Lena, Bert and Bo!

M. writes:

Hi Swistle… I’m due with our first child, a boy, on June 1 (although it’s looking like he may make an early appearance).  We’ve been through a long list of names deciding “that’s the one” until one of us changes their minds:

Henry (the dad finally admitted he didn’t like the name)
Roarke (Worried about teasing – Roarke the Dork)
Finn from Phineas/Finlay (I hate Finn with the last name which has a long N in it)
August nn Gus (the dad has bad images of a child named Gus)
Ezra (I love, dad hates)

There are others. But now the dad is stuck on Max/Maxwell.  My issue with Max is how many people respond with “I had a dog named that”.  We’re stuck.  This kid needs a name and nothing seems right.  I’d love thoughts on Maxwell and will gladly take any suggestions you have.  I love classic and biblical names that aren’t too trendy. The dad likes names that are more “out there” and would name the poor child Briar (his all time favorite name for a boy) if I’d give him 30 seconds with the birth certificate.

If it helps, a girl would have been Millicent Claire (that was set about 10 days after we found out I was expecting)

Thanks!

and

Hi Swistle! My issue with Maxwell is growing!  I’ve now had 3 people tell me “so did you hear that Jessica Simpson is supposed to name her DAUGHTER Maxwell!”… Dad says it’s not a problem but I’m not really thrilled with a celebu-tante naming her daughter what I want to name my son within a few weeks, so is it a problem or am I overthinking it?

Thanks!

 
These things aren’t easy to predict, but my gut feeling is that Jessica Simpson’s daughter’s name isn’t going to change much: the number of people put off by her choice (i.e., they were planning a similar name for a girl, but now feel like they’d look like they were copying her) will probably balance the number of people inspired by it.

There were 5 baby girls named Maxwell in 2010, according to the Social Security Administration, and I saw in a magazine that some other celebrity named a baby girl Maxwell within the last few months as well. Another 8 girls were named Max in 2010, and another 5 were named Maxx. For comparison, 15 girls were named Matthew, 37 girls were named Michael, 14 girls were named Andrew, and 9 girls were named John. There will always be a few people looking for something along these lines, but I don’t think that means any of these names will “go girl,” as the saying goes. If you wanted to distance yourself a bit because of the poor timing, you could use another long-form of Max: Maximilian, Maximus, Maxon/Maxton/Maxson. Or go straight to Max.

The dog issue, I’d disregard completely. Many people give pets “people names,” but it doesn’t make those names “dog names”—any more than Jessica Simpson’s baby Maxwell makes Maxwell a “girl name.” I notice too that names start being used for pets right before they start coming back into style for people: I think it’s because a name sounds a little too quirky right before it starts sounding awesomely different—which means first it’s perfect for a dog/cat, and then you have a baby and can’t use the name you love because you already used it for a pet (this happened to Paul and me with the name Oliver). So it makes sense that there are a lot of dogs named Max, but Max/Maxwell are nevertheless well established as names for human boys, and if people also used that name for their dogs I think you can just say “Oh really?”

If Maxwell still isn’t quite right and the dad likes Briar, would Meyer work?

Or Felix? It’s a name with long roots, but it sounds now the way I remember Max sounding a decade or two ago.

George is another name I’d think of as belonging to “the next Max” category.

Or Milo.

Whenever I see names like Max and Gus and Finn, I think of Sam and Jack and Joe. Some similar stuff from the biblical section: Abe (from Abel/Able or Abram), Ash (from Asher), Ben, Ike/Zac (from Isaac), Zeke (from Ezekiel), Gabe, Jake, Levi, Saul/Sol, Jude.

Name update! M. writes:

Hi Swistle!  I wanted to thank everyone and update you all on the June 7th arrival of my little boy.  About a week before he was born I went back to all the lists of names I’d made to that point and found that one name appeared on every list, and it had never once been marked off by dad.  A quick conversation later and we were both thrilled with our choice.  The middle name was decided in the delivery room about an hour before his birth (and is a family name).  I’m very pleased and proud to introduce you to Nicholas Edgar.

C. writes:

We are desperately seeking guidance in our first baby naming venture and were really hoping for some input.  We are due in about 10 weeks with our first baby (a little boy!) and are at a complete loss for names.  Although there are a few names we like and can agree on, we can’t use them for various reasons (names of a pet, names of a family member or friend’s baby, etc):  Nathan, Landon, Ben.

A little background on us:
Our last name is 2 syllables and begins and ends with a “T” – we wanted to stay away from names that start and end in a “T” because we think it sounds to sing-songy and matchy. For some reason we think names that end in “N” seem to sound good with our last name but are open to anything. We don’t really have a strong cultural heritage but we have many family names and surnames that are unique and we will probably use one of them as our son’s middle name – Foster, Fabian, Conyers, Truman, Gill. We found that choosing girls names was a breeze and there were many that we loved – Piper, Hadley, Adalynn, Morgan, Sawyer.  Choosing a boy name just seems so much more difficult!

We want to pick something that sounds masculine yet maybe a little preppy at the same time and is older/classic but not commonly used (if that makes sense).  At the same time, we don’t want something that is so uncommon that it sounds strange or is something that people have never heard of.  We want a name that is less commonly used then something like the traditional Adam, James, Thomas, John, Michael, etc.  We do have two names we are considering but are hesitant to use at this point:

Harrison (worried that people will call him Harry; we do like Harris as a nickname and maybe if we implement that we can avoid the Harry altogether?; we like Harrison Foster.)

Leighton (feel like that is becoming really popular as a girls name and with that spelling seems feminine; maybe Leyton Foster? but don’t want a strange or made-up spelling either).

Please help!  Maybe there is a fabulous name out there that we are simply overlooking?  Maybe we just need reassurance that our little boy won’t be teased with a name like Harry?  Looking forward to hearing your input.  Thanks in advance!

I suggest Sawyer. I see it on your girl-name list, and it seems to me it suits your boy-name preferences too. In the United States the name Sawyer is currently used more often for boys (the Social Security Administration reports 348 girls in 2010, versus 2,198 boys); because the rest of your girl-name list are all names used much more often for girls, I think Sawyer would fit better in your family as a boy name.

Harrison seems like a very good choice, too. I think you can probably avoid Harry by using Harris as a nickname; but if not, I think Harry Potter has made the name Harry significantly more usable than it used to be. Along the same lines as Harrison, but with no Harry:

Anderson
Davis
Davison
Garrison
Jameson
Nicholson
Robertson
Sullivan
Wilson

You’re right about Leighton: the Social Security Administration reports 449 new baby girls named Leighton in 2010, versus 216 boys. The spelling Leyton was given to 25 girls and 144 boys, so it looks like that spelling is indeed considered more masculine—but the larger number of girls with the spelling Leighton gives me pause about using the name for boys at all: some names survive such a tip (Cameron, for example, which is still used for both boys and girls), but many don’t (some famous examples are Ashley, Evelyn, and Lesley). The similar name Payton/Peyton, which came before Leyton/Leighton, has gone even further and is now given mostly to girls by a wide margin. Perhaps Leighton could go on your list for possible future daughters, and for boys I’d suggest instead:

Carson
Easton
Hudson
Keaton
Langston
Lawson
Lennox
Lincoln
Lachlan
Logan
Patton
Spencer

Name update! C. writes:

So we are happy to report that our son was born (a week late) on July 13th.  We waited until we saw him to decide on his name but ended up deciding on Harrison Foster.  Thanks to all for reassuring us that Harrison was as great of a name as we thought it was.  I was worried that people would call him Harry – a nickname that I was desperate to avoid.  So far, everyone has been very receptive to his name and nobody has even attempted to call him Harry.  At this point I can’t imagine him with any other name.  Thanks for all your help!

Joy writes:

I am back for more of your fabulous baby naming advice! I wrote you when we were expecting our son and now we expecting our third baby in about 7 weeks. We have a daughter (Maggie Suzanne) and a son (Oscar Alexander) so this will make our second little girl. My husband and I both thought it would be so easy to name this little one because she is a girl, but for some reason it has been just as hard as naming Oscar. Part of the issue is that I feel such a pressure because this is probably our last baby so I want to “get it right” and the other part is that Maggie is such a feminine yet cute name it is (in my mind) hard to match.

So, a couple of things about us: My husband is Hispanic and I am Caucasian so we need a name that would work well for a blended family. The other thing is that we love older classic names, but I really want it to be unique. My name is Joy so I grew up with a name that no one else had and I loved that! I also have a rule that I want to name my kids what I will call them instead of naming them something and using a nickname all of the time. Last, I am not as much worried about the names being matchy matchy like I was when I had my son, but rather I want her to have a beautiful and unique name that fits with the others names (if that makes sense).

Here are some names we like:
Me:
Charlie (I love, but have a hard time naming a girl a name that is typically for a boy).
Ellie
Kamie (lifelong favorite but my husband hates it)
Izzie

Us:
Pennie
Macie (it sounds a lot like Maggie though)
Molly

Husband:
Olivia (I love this only if we call her Olivia Jane as if that were her first name, but I am unsure of how I feel about two name first names and my husband only wants to call her Olivia. I think this name is too long and doesn’t fit great with the other kids. Plus, it is very popular)

Middle names we have considered:
Jane
Elizabeth
Marie
Olivia (matched with Pennie)

So there you have it! I am looking forward to reading what you come up with for us!!

Thanks in advance for your help!!

 
I suggest Sadie. It’s similar in style to Maggie, without being at all matchy. Sadie Perez; Maggie, Oscar, and Sadie.

Or Annie. Annie Perez; Maggie, Oscar, and Annie.

Or Libby. Libby Perez; Maggie, Oscar, and Libby.

Or Livvy, which is similar to Olivia. Livvy Perez; Maggie, Oscar, and Livvy.

Or Polly, which is similar to Molly without sharing so many sounds with Maggie. Polly Perez; Maggie, Oscar, and Polly.

Or Lacey, which is similar to Macie but without sharing so many sounds with Maggie. Lacey Perez; Maggie, Oscar, and Lacey.

Or Betsy, which is making a subtle comeback just as all the Betsys finally got everyone to call them Elizabeth or Liz. Betsy Perez; Maggie, Oscar, and Betsy.

Or Ginny. Ginny Perez; Maggie, Oscar, and Ginny.

I think Pennie from your list also works well, but I would suggest spelling it Penny to avoid the continual hassle of spelling issues. (And because I know, I KNOW this is silly, but my mind saw it as “Peenie” at first, and I know that’s probably not something to even consider but STILL. I’d go with Penny.)

I agree that Charlie is too boyish a name for a girl in this sibling group, but I wonder if you’d like Arlie, Karli, or Marli?

I was about to recommend Emmie, and then realized that an Oscar and an Emmy together is probably not a good idea!

Evie would work better. Evie Perez; Maggie, Oscar, and Evie.

Lily would be pretty. Lily Perez; Maggie, Oscar, and Lily.

If you love Kamie, I wonder if you’d like Cassie or Cammie or Callie.

Name update! Joy writes:

I was going about my business today and it hit me that I never updated you! I am SO sorry!! Life with 3 under 4 years old has been crazy to say the least. So, although very late I wanted to update you anyway. I was all set to name her Penny Jane, but when she was born I looked at her and just knew that was not the perfect match. We welcomed Olivia Jane into the world on June 22. She was 3 weeks early and weighed a whopping 9lbs 4oz! She is absolutely beautiful both inside and out!!! Thank you for your wonderful blog and help with choosing a name. We loved all of your (and your helpers) ideas!

Kristi writes:

I stumbled on your blog today as I continued to work on a name for our baby boy. He’s expected in the next 3 to 4 weeks and we’ve always had a name locked down by now, so I’m getting antsy!

Our first child is also a boy, and his name is John Fred Slemko, but we usually call him Jack. (I often call him John, but he’s 4 and he typically associates it with being in trouble!). John and Fred were my husband’s grandfathers. His uncle, and a very close family friend, were also named John. We elected to call him Jack in day-to-day life because my husband’s sister was also married to a John (they’ve since divorced) and I liked that Jack was still a strong sounding name.

Our daughter is Georgia Adelaide Maria. I’m not big on giving three names, but she’s named for my grandmothers (Georgia and Adelaide) and also for my husband’s grandmother who passed away 5 days before she was born. I was very close to my Gramma Georgia and that name has been on my list since I was 16 years old; I realize it is becoming more popular now but it was chosen for long ago to honor her.

Our third child is also a girl and we found it more difficult to name her. (I really believed we’d only have 2 children, so we used up all the names we loved that also had family significance, on the first 2 children!). After a long debate, we chose Elizabeth (it was my favorite name as a child, always given to my dolls; and it was the middle name of my best friend in high school who died just before graduation). For a middle name, we chose Alice (which was my husband’s grandmother’s name, as well as the name of my dad’s sister who passed away at birth). We wrestled with naming her Elizabeth because we don’t like any of the shortened forms like Liz, Lizzy, Beth, etc and wondered how we’d do when people tried to call her by a nickname. My dad has tested us from the beginning, calling her pretty much every possible nickname until my brother told him off one day and said it was disrespectful.

Now we’re completing our family and have learned “it’s a boy!”. With the traditional names of our other three children, I don’t think we can throw in a Scout, Skylar, etc. (Not that we want to, but I’m just saying that I think the baby’s name should “fit” with his siblings). But more than that, we’d like a name with some family significance since the other three’s names are steeped in it. I was content to put significance on the middle name only (my maiden name is Palmer, so we agreed to use it as the middle name) but the names we like for first names are not resonating with me now the way they originally did. For instance – we’ve always liked William (but intended to call him William or Will, not Billy, Willy, etc). Now I wonder if it sounds strange to say “Jack and Will” together (sounds like Jack and Jill). For example, “oh, Jack and Will are at the rink with their Dad”. We also like Eric, but it rhymes with my husband’s name (Derek) and it doesn’t feel as “strong” or traditional as John/Jack. Another one we both agree on is Henry, but it’s relatively new to our lists and I’m not sure I like the “John – Henry” combination. There are lots of other names I like, including Nicholas, Robert, Edward, Benjamin – but I like the full name better than the short forms, and with the battles we’ve faced with Elizabeth’s name, I’m not sure I’m up for doing that again!

So, suddenly I’m wondering if naming him Palmer as a FIRST name is our best choice? I know it’s not common (I consider that a good thing) but it sounds strong to me, and definitely reflects our penchant for choosing names that honor our family heritage.

Thanks in advance!

 
To me, there are two issues involved with the name Palmer. The first hadn’t occurred to me until we had a post that generated some interesting thoughts in the comments section about the name Palmer—among them that some find the name to have a bit of a suggestive sound.

The second issue is that it is a break with the style of the names of your first three children: three traditional names with long roots, and then a surname name. Those two styles are not as incompatible as some (for example, it would be harder to go from traditional names to noun names such as Storm), but it’s something I’d want to think out ahead of time and make sure I was fine with it. I do think that as the number of children grows, issues of style compatibility get a little looser—but it’s too bad that it would be just one child with the different style. The fact that it’s your maiden name makes it tie in with traditional names much, much better than if it were a surname name chosen with no family connection—but it’s still similar to adding a Skylar. But one of my very favorite family name ideas is to use the mother’s maiden name as a first name. In short: I’m torn.

If I were you, since I too like sibling names to go together, I’d choose a nice strong traditional-name family name for the first name, and I’d use Palmer as the middle name. The John Henry issue wouldn’t have occurred to me at all (especially if you mostly use Jack), and Henry is my favorite from the list. Henry Palmer Slemko; John/Jack, Georgia, Elizabeth, and Henry.

I can’t tell if I would have noticed “Jack and Will” or not, but I THINK not; if it bugged me with time, I think I’d get in the habit of saying “Jack and William” or “Will and Jack.” That’s my second favorite, mostly because I’m not sure if the L and M sounds in all three of his names is a plus or a minus. William Palmer Slemko; John/Jack, Georgia, Elizabeth, and William.

I agree that Eric sounds less traditional/rooted than John/Jack, though I think it does work if it’s a family name; with the second complication of rhyming with his dad’s name, that would probably be enough for me to be inclined to cross it off the list.

Name update! Kristi writes:

Just a quick note to let you know our son William Palmer $lemko arrived on May 19!

We went back and forth between William and Henry as first names after receiving your thoughts and the blog comments… ultimately we decided based on which nickname was acceptable to us.  “Will” was ok for us, but “Harry” was not.

John/Jack, Georgia and Elizabeth are smitten with their baby brother.  Many people have commented on what a classic, coordinated set of names we’ve chosen.  Thanks again for your help!

M. writes:

Our second daughter will be arriving at the beginning of June – my problem is I don’t like any names. I scour baby-name lists for some unseen gem that will scream “this is the one”. I read TV credits looking for something perfect. If I happen to be on a new blog with a baby or young girl, I’ll search for her name. Until this point, I’ve come up empty handed and with nine weeks left, I’m starting to get concerned.

Naming our first daughter was hard, we only really decided (from a short-list) the night before she arrived. We named her Gillian Leah (nn, Gigi) – which of course, now I adore. I’m a bit of a type A personality, who is looking for perfection (hah!) the second time around as well.

The only name I find myself coming back to is Emma – by all accounts, Emma is extremely high on all current popular name lists, and quite frankly that’s what’s holding me back. I want something strong and feminine, yet not so widely used.

My husband is not sold on Emma, because with our last name (Miles), he says there are too many m’s happening. With that said, as a whole he is sort of ambivalent towards names and I’m sure I’ll be able to convince him once I get my heart set on something.

So my questions are:

1. Should I throw my rule of no-top-100-names out the window and call her Emma? Or should I concentrate on something else?

2. If we call her something as popular as Emma, what perfect, non-expected but not completely unusual, middle name could I use?

Here are alternate names I’ve jotted down as potentials over the last 20 weeks:

Lauren Whitney
Ivy Jane
Hannah Lily
Chloe Willow
Ellie Georgia (Georgia is a family name)
Ruby
Violet
Sidney (my husband’s only suggestion)
Lily
Emilia
Mia
Laura
Alison
Lucy
Margo
Plum (for a middle name)

Please help!!

 
If I’m reading correctly, the name Gillian didn’t seem like the clear perfect choice before you chose it, but only afterward. This can be good news or bad news for a Type A personality trying to repeat a success: on the one hand, a name that just seems like “the best of the short list” (as opposed to clearly the perfect choice) ended up being perfect last time, and may end up being perfect a second time; on the other hand, it means the name that will end up feeling perfect later might not pop out at you, and you may have to narrow it down to one and hope for the best.

As you know, I’m in favor of allowing other considerations to trump concerns about popularity. If one name DOES stand out to you, and if you consistently like it better than the others, and if you go into the choice braced for the popularity of the name, I think you’re likely to be happy with it.

One thing going for Emma is that there’s only one spelling: a name such as Chloe can hang out on the Social Security charts looking like a #9, but by the time you add in all the girls named Khloe, Cloe, Kloe, Cloey, etc., it’s much more common than expected.

There is, though, the issue of people looking for other ways to get to Emma, and so names that SOUND like Emma may be more common than expected. There could be an Emery, an Emmeline, an Emerson, an Emilia, an Emlyn, and maybe even an Emerald, all going by Emma or Emmie. And in fact, that’s one of my first suggestions: to go for a less common name that gives you the nickname Emma or Emmie. Emmeline is one of my own favorites. Gillian and Emmeline; Gigi and Emmie.

Or you could give her a double first name, to reduce the commonness of her name. Emma June, for example (for her birth month—or Emma May if she’s early, although that adds even more M-sound).

If you decide not to go with Emma, I suggest Gemma. It’s similar to Emma, but the Social Security Administration has it at #449 in 2010. It may, however, have too many sounds in common with Miles, Gillian, and Gigi.

This is more of a long shot, but do you like the name Imogen? It has some sounds in common with Emma, but it’s much less common and I love the interesting mix of sophisticated and whimsical. For me, it shares that category with Gillian. Gillian and Imogen; Gigi and Immy/Midge. But again, there may be too many sounds in common: the soft G, the N ending, the short-I sound; it’s almost a rearranged version of Gillian.

Another of that category is Beatrix. Gillian and Beatrix; Gigi and Bee/Trixie.

I have Emma and Anna filed together in my mind: they’re similar-type palindromes, and they’re both sweet and simple. Anna would be great, but/and I think Annabel would go particularly well with Gillian. Gillian and Annabel; Gigi and Annie.

Elodie is so surprisingly underused—though maybe that will change as more and more people look for ways to get Ellie. Gillian and Elodie; Gigi and Ellie.

If you do go with Emma, I love the idea of choosing a really fun middle name.

Emma Anastasia Miles
Emma Calliope Miles
Emma Carrington Miles
Emma Clementine Miles
Emma Francesca Miles
Emma Hermione Miles
Emma Lavender Miles (initials spell ELM)
Emma Lissandra Miles (initials spell ELM)
Emma Lorelei Miles (initials spell ELM)
Emma Minerva Miles
Emma Paisley Miles
Emma Penelope Miles
Emma Peregrine Miles
Emma Persephone Miles
Emma Rosabelle Miles
Emma Serenity Miles
Emma Sterling Miles
Emma Waverly Miles
Emma Yeardley Miles

Or do you have a cool family name to put in the middle, or a name of a favorite author/actor/poet, or a name of a city of significance to you, or any names you love but can’t use for some other reason? Or if she’s born in June, she could be Emma June, or Emma Pearl for her birthstone.

From your list, I also really like Ivy Jane and Ellie Georgia (I’d like Ella Georgia even better, but I kind of like the repeating-A ending and I know not everyone does), and also I’d put together Lucy Willow.

Name update! M. writes:

Forty weeks of pregnancy and my husband and I still couldn’t make a final decision on the name until the day before our girl’s arrival.  And with that, we were thrilled to welcome our Ellie Georgia into the world on June 5th.

A huge thanks for the in-depth review and to your readers as well.  Considering we chose not to share any name options with family and friends during pregnancy, all of your input was especially invaluable!

Meisje writes:

I am in hospital with my new baby girl born 14th April. She is my second girl and last of five. Problem is that I was 100% convinced she would be a boy and didn’t prepare properly for girls names, and in the shock and emotion of the moment(I am absolutely overjoyed she is a girl but it’s a big surprise!) I can’t think of a name that fits her. She is so tiny.

She will have blonde hair and blue eyes like her siblings. Their names are Jack, Eve, Grant and Flynn. My partner was an actor and the kids names all trace to actors from bygone eras, although that isn’t essential. Our surname starts with H, with a long ‘a’ sound in it.

My name is foreign, so I like that the children have Anglicised, easy to recognise and spell names. I like the meaning of names too, although this also isn’t really as essential as I used to think it is, but I don’t like names with negative meanings, for example, Claudia means ‘lame’ and Mary means ‘bitter’.

My partner is also pushing me to name her Celeste, which was what we named a baby we lost during pregnancy a few years ago. We named her that after she died, as it means from the stars, or Heavenly, and is the colour blue like her eyes, so we sent her to Heaven with that name,but i dont think it would be her name if she had stayed with us. I like the name, but not in first spot. It is too close. And very different to the others. And doesn’t have a nickname or shorter version.
Middle spot would be a nice honour position, I think. But unless you can help choose the perfect first name, he may get his way!

Names I have considered:
Hope
Tess
Beth
Tia
Anna

But he doesn’t like any of them for various reasons. But he did say this final baby should be my choice as the only name I have chosen so far was my other daughter’s.
Today he says that if I don’t pick one today, he will tell people it is Celeste,
as he cant stand her not having a name. Help!

and

Hi again Swistle. I wrote earlier today about my quandry I have convinced my partner to give me an extra day’s grace for our baby’s name as I told him I had written in asking for help. He is doubtful, but if you can give me any feedback that would be great.
I don’t really want her first name to be Celeste, but I am tired and emotional and don’t seem to be able to do this on my own…..

I hope we can agree on the first point I am going to make, which is that your partner is not the boss of the name. It’s not his right to force you to choose a name quickly to make him more comfortable—or, if you fail to work quickly enough for him, his right to choose the name himself and announce it. I can see how it would be an unsettled feeling to not have the name chosen yet, but many parents have gone days or even weeks before choosing, and no one has chosen a name for them or forced them to use a default name. Give a casual little laugh to the eagerly-waiting friends and family and say, “I know! We’re just having a lot of trouble deciding! We were so sure we were having a boy!,” and it will be nothing but a fun story about her birth. Allow your partner to threaten you with time limits and choose a name you don’t like, and it may become a story that overshadows the joy and surprise of her arrival.

It is neither your job nor my job to race to find your partner a name he likes better than Celeste or else he gets to go ahead and use Celeste despite your wishes. If you don’t want to name your daughter Celeste, the name Celeste is off the table (just as the names you like that he doesn’t like seem to be off the table), and it is his job as well as yours to find other good options from the names that remain.

If the decision has already been made that the choice of this child’s name is up to you, and if your partner will not back up on the pressuring/threatening, give him your favorite name from your own list to use as the default instead of his favorite name. Perhaps he can calm his impatience if he knows the hurry-up default name will be one he won’t like, instead of one you won’t like.

The name of a daughter who died seems like a poor choice for this daughter. Normally when two people share the same name, there is a happy connection, and also an easy way to distinguish the two when necessary for clarity: James and Jimmy, for example, or Big Jim and Little Jim, or “our Jim” and “my grandpa Jim.” In this case, it is hard to think of either a happy connection or an easy way to distinguish them. I’m imagining needing to refer to the first Celeste as “Celeste—I mean the Celeste who died.” Or, I see my automatic categorization as I wrote was “the first Celeste” and “the second Celeste,” which is also unpleasant. Perhaps it would work as a middle name, although if I picture myself in her shoes, I don’t think I’d want that. I think I’d want my own name, just as the other children have their own names.

Since the other children have short, film-related names, could another such name be found for this child? Kate comes to mind: Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Kate.

Or Mae. Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Mae.

Or Jane. Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Jane.

Or Lucy. Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Lucy.

Or from this list of Old Hollywood baby names:

Audrey
Bette
Clara
Grace (maybe too close to Grant)
Greer (maybe too close to Grant)
Greta (maybe too close to Grant)
Jean
Joan
Lana
Louise
Vivian

Rose would be wonderful too. Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Rose.

Or Nora. Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Nora.

Or Claire. Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Claire.

Or Leigh. Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Leigh.

Name update! Meisje writes:

She has a name and I love it! And I love you, Swistle, and all your beautiful commenters (although to be honest, I love absolutely everybody now as I am sooooo happy!)

So here’s how it went- after sadly putting aside all the long -a- names that are too similar sounding to our surname (Grace, Kate, Jane, Mae – and I LOVED Mae!) the names which really stuck were Stella, Rose and one last minute suggestion, Ingrid.

The baby’s birth date is the anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, which is a sad thing, but the main character of the movie is Rose, who SURVIVED, which is a GOOD thing, So I knew I had to use it but……couldn’t get past the Rose and Jack thing. For me it would be like I I had named one of my sons Adam after having my daughter Eve. So I pushed it to middle.

Then I really had to decide between Stella and Ingrid so I put each of them next to the sibling names and, while Stella is ‘prettier’, I felt Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn and Ingrid made a better Old Hollywood set- and Ingrid is a little nod to my European background as well! The two syllables is ok, as my daughter is often called Evie anyway.

But I wanted to give a little tribute to Celeste, so it became Ingrid Stella Rose. But I had no nickname. Then one of my boys was holding her and I hadn’t told anyone the names I was almost decided upon, and he said “Mummy, she’s such a little flower. Can’t I just call her my little rose?”

So that was that. My baby girl is Ingrid Stella Rose H-, and her nickname (which we will probably call her most of the time) shall be Rosie. Which is perfect! (sister set Evie and Rosie is so sweet, and for her formal name, Ingrid Bergman is so iconic in the Eve Arden, Cary Grant, Errol Flynn and Jack Lemmon/Palance category.)

Thank you again for all your help!

Sara writes:

Hi, my name is Sara and my husband and I are expecting our first baby, a girl!
So I thought baby naming would be easy especially for a girl. Boy was I wrong! Here is our problem, I want to name our baby girl Campbell Elizabeth. Campbell has been a name on my side of the family for generations, but my DH HATES it. He wants to name her Sophia or Paige. I like those names but I love Campbell. One of our friends suggested using the name Sophia Campbell Brannan, but I wasn’t to fond of that. We need your help! Thanks!

 
Normally I think I’d want to start by finding out more about the naming tradition you’d like to follow. In what way has the name Campbell has been in the family? As a girl name? As a boy name? As a surname? Given in a specific pattern (to firstborn daughters, for example), or given sporadically? And so on.

But in this case, your husband hates the name Campbell, and a naming tradition doesn’t trump the other parent’s right to participate in naming the child, so the specifics of the tradition may be moot. Would he be willing to use the name anyway, perhaps with one of the workarounds other families have used with naming traditions, such as going by a nickname (Cammie is sweet, or Bella) or going by the middle name (maybe a middle name of his choice)? If not, I think it would be nice if he would agree to use Campbell as a middle name, if the tradition is important to you, and if his family’s surname will be the child’s surname: then the child will have a family name from each side of her family. Or perhaps he would feel differently about the name Campbell used for a possible future son?

Because this is your first child, and because the names Campbell and Sophia and Paige are very different in style, I’m linking here to Naming Advice for First-Time Parents. If you plan on having more children, and if you’d like the sibling names to coordinate in style, it would be good to spend some time discussing what your joint naming style is. Do you both prefer names more like Sophia, or more like Paige? Do you like names that are more feminine or more unisex? Names that are more common, or less common? Longer, or shorter? Nicknames or no? (Do you want to leave room for him to change his mind on Campbell for a later daughter? Then I would probably go for a name more like Paige rather than a name like Sophia.)

A few names that seem similar to Sophia to me (either in sound or style):

Amelia
Charlotte
Fiona
Josephine
Lila
Rose
Violet

And a few names that seem similar to Paige to me (either in sound or style):

Avery
Darcy
Piper
Reese
Ryleigh
Sage
Sloane
Zoe

Name update! Sara writes:

Hi, I just wanted to let you know that our baby girl Campbell Paige Brannan was born on May 5 and weighed in at 5 pounds 8 ounces. We went into the hospital without a name chosen. When my husband saw her for the first time he immediately said to me “she looks like a Campbell”. So when he agreed on naming her Campbell I decided we could use one of his names and we thought Paige sounded the best! We also loved the idea if the nn Cammie, so we decided to call her that. Thank you for your help! Her name is perfect and so is she.

C. writes:

I just love your blog and can’t resist sending in my quandary any longer! I have four weeks to go and we’re still looking for a name for our baby girl. Our last name is a bit of a mouthful, three syllables starting with “El.” My only concern with matching first/last is that the first name also doesn’t end in an “el” sound, nor do I want a name that also starts with E. Big brother’s name is Field!ng, so I want to avoid F names too. My own name is unique but easily spelled and pronounced, and I have always loved the fact that I have never met another person with my name. I want the same for my children — an unusual name that makes them feel unique, but without the burden of having to constantly tell people how to spell it or feeling too “weird.” I feel like we got that with Field!ng (we also call him Field), but we’re having trouble with a girl! Some names we have thought of:

Names I liked but vetoed for being too popular/trendy:
Violet (love the pretty, old-fashioned girly names)
Pearl (this has a similar theme to the meaning of my own name)
Beatrix/Beatrice
Rosalie

Other names we have talked about:
Lark (Not too sure about the meaning, like the idea of a bird name but not the actual harsh sound of “ark”)
Sonnet (pretty… but weird?)
Lavender (love it…. but is the nickname “Lavvie” too close to lavatory? What other nicknames could you use?)
Tamsin (also interesting but how do you avoid the dated nickname Tammy?)
Dulcet (husband thinks that’s waaaay too out there, but I like the nickname Dulcie)
Linne@
Leatrice
Marigold (again… what nickname do you use here?)
Amoret (not sure people could spell this or figure out what you were saying)
Clover
Leora (maybe a bit too dated)
Lilac (like the idea, but not the pronunciation that rhymes with “sack”)
Araminta (so interesting but just too much of a mouthful!)

I think we’ll probably go with a one-syllable middle like Pearl or Leigh (family name) to balance everything else out…. but any thoughts are appreciated! Help please, thank you!

 
The name that immediately springs to mind (but that unfortunately has an equally immediate, probably deal-breaking issue) is Starling. Reasonably familiar; easy to spell and pronounce; the bird association you like with Lark but without the -ark sound; pretty and distinctive. The immediate, probably deal-breaking issue: ends in -ing just like Field!ng. Field!ng and Starling. I am afraid that doesn’t quite fly.

There’s Wren. Field!ng and Wren.

A Linnet is another kind of bird, and reminds me of Sonnet and Linne@ from your list. The nickname Linnie is adorable. The main issue, I think, is that it would get tiresome to have people pronouncing it lin-NET instead of LIN-net. With any difficult spelling/pronunciation issue, I find it a hundred times easier if there’s a quick, easy, friendly way to correct people, and this does have one: “It’s Linnet. Like ‘minute’.” (Of course, as soon as I write that I notice it looks like the word for tiny, with the emphasis on the second syllable: my-NOOT. But it works as a SPOKEN explanation.)

All this talk of minutes makes me think of Minuet, a little like Amoret and Araminta from your list. Very pretty and feminine, very unusual, excellent easy nickname of Minnie. Field!ng and Minuet.

Or Silhouette, but really challenging spelling and no good nickname. Etta is a possibility, I guess, but it doesn’t feel connected. Sil is nice, but seems like it would go quickly to Silly (do Sylvias have this problem, I wonder?).

Or Silver. I like that with Field!ng: Field!ng and Silver.

Or Linden is the name of a tree and would take away the emphasis issue of Linnet. Field!ng and Linden.

Rosemary might be more familiar than you’d like; it used to be a bit of an exotic herb name (like using Lavender), but it’s become somewhat disconnected from those herbal associations and now sounds more like Rose + Mary. Rosie is an adorable nickname. Field!ng and Rosemary.

Autumn and Summer are common girl names, and even Winter gets some use, but Spring just sits there, virtually unused. It has the -ing ending that I think rules out Starling, but the one-syllable way it blends with the Spr- makes it not sound like the -ing of Field!ng to me. Field!ng and Spring.

If you weren’t trying to avoid E- names, I’d suggest Emerald. Unusual but familiar, with the easy nickname Emmmie.

When I worked in a plant nursery, I wondered why Zinnia wasn’t a more common girl name. It doesn’t have a natural nickname, but Z/Zee would be cute. Field!ng and Zinnia.

Primrose is another good one. It’s been used as a girl name, but not much recently. Field!ng and Primrose.

But probably my favorite almost-unused flower name is Hyacinth. Violets and Roses and Daisys run around everywhere, but almost no Hyacinths! Someone who wrote to us mentioned that that was her name, and that her nickname was Heidi.

My favorite from your list is Marigold. Familiar and easy to say and spell, but hardly ever used as a name (in 2010, according to the Social Security Administration, there were 9 new baby boys named Field!ng, and 13 new baby girls named Marigold); and I’d go with the nickname Mari.

Or there’s Magnolia, which has Maggie.

I also really like Clover.

And I would suggest reconsidering Pearl from your “too popular/trendy” list. Only 263 girls were named Pearl in 2010, which puts it in league with names such as Kai (for girls), Arya, and Lizeth. It’s quite uncommon, yet still completely familiar, and the tie-in with your own name is appealing.

I agree that Lavvy seems a little too bathroomy a nickname for Lavender. I am always reluctant to create nicknames, but I can’t resist a puzzle; maybe Livvy?

For Tamsin, she could go by Tams or Tamsie. I’m not sure if that would go directly to Tammy or not. (See also: Sil going to Silly.)

Name update! C. writes:

Thank you for all of the great advice and responses to our email!  We were a little overwhelmed with name choices right up until (and past!) our due date.  Our sweet baby girl was born in early May.  We arrived at the hospital with our huge list of names not narrowed down at all – even with so many we liked, we still just didn’t know which of the names really felt like OUR baby!  After spending a few hours with our little one, my husband and I both fell in love with the name Linne@ Pe@rl.  It’s funny because while that name was on our list, it was never one either of us considered a front-runner until we saw her.  We think it’s a really lovely name for our pink little jewel.  (I also love that Linne@ means a little pink Swedish flower — the twinflower.  So cute!)