Hi!

We’re expecting our second and final child in November. We have a daughter named Alana (different common spelling). She has my last name with my husband’s as her middle. We will be doing the opposite for this baby. My last name is like Trash with an O and my husband’s is like Denmark minus the first letter.

We are not finding out the sex of this baby, but have picked out Calvin for a boy.

My list of needs/wants in a name:
– a recognizable name that is easily spelled, but not too common. We eliminated Luke because it’s so popular.
– does not start with an E (dislike alliteration) and would have a bit of a preference for not an A as well.
– preferably no S sounds as I have a bit of a lisp
– not matchy-matchy with our daughter’s name

And my pipe dream is that it has a tie to a cool character in pop culture/history. My daughter is named after a favourite book protagonist and Calvin is after the comic character.

Our current top 3 contenders are:
-Mia (possibly too popular, is it hard to say with the last name?)
-Natalie (is it tricky to say with Alana?)
-Paige (seems a bit boring to me)

Those are in my order of preference. Mia is a video game character we like and none of the others hits that fun criteria. There’s also someone in our smaller city with the Paige Last name combo which probably bugs me more than it should.

My husband’s preference order is the opposite.

Other names I like but were eliminated for various reasons:
-Saskia
-Jade
-Maya
-Kate
-Zoë
-Cassidy
-Keira

Names my husband suggested (Paige has always been his #1 though):
-Samantha
-Vanessa
-Victoria

Are the possible issues with Mia/Natalie just in my head? Do they go with my daughter’s name? Or should I just let my husband have this one and go with Paige. Any other suggestions that both of us might like?

Thanks!
Heather

Ooo, I don’t know if it helps, but I associate the name Paige with a character in the comic strip Fox Trot. It’s not as cool an association as Calvin, but it’s something.

I find Mia a little difficult to say with the surname, but not deal-breakingly so. I also find that the end of Paige blends into the surname in a way I have to do something about: again, not a deal-breaker.

I am not at all opposed to common/popular names—but I feel a little dissatisfied at the combination of a relatively uncommon name such as Alana (#206 in 2020, according to the Social Security Administration) with a relatively common name such as Mia (Top 10 for the last twelve years in a row). But I DO like the way you have a cool cultural association for both names, and that might outweigh the popularity difference for me.

(I hesitate to mention this, because I can’t tell if this is just because it’s been in the news so the sound pattern caught my ear—but Mia with her dad’s surname brought Myanmar to mind.)

Just to continue rolling over your choices with every possible objection, apparently: the name Paige feels like a very different style from Alana. It’s a little startling to go from the vowely flow of Alana to the tailored preppy 1990s sound of Paige.

I wonder if the trickiness you’re seeing with Alana and Natalie includes the word “and”: that is, if the -an and -na of Alana, AND the an- of and, AND the na- of Natalie is all too much. Try saying them without the “and,” and see if that helps or not: “Alana, Natalie, come to dinner!” But it IS still a lot of A and N and L sounds, even without the “and,” so it might just be too many repeating sounds for your tastes.

I suppose, reading this over, that I am saying that all three of the options are fine—but if I were you, I would look for more options. And, it’s strange to be saying this, because usually I find myself advising people to drop some of their preferences—but in your case, I feel as if you’re not meeting enough of them. All three name options are recognizable and easy to spell, but Mia and Natalie are both very common (Mia is more common than Luke; Natalie was, too, until very recently). You’d like to have a cool pop-culture or historical tie-in, but Natalie and Paige don’t have that.

I’d like to add back into consideration Vanessa from your husband’s list. Alana and Vanessa sound good together to me, without being matchy; Vanessa is familiar and easy to spell, but almost identical in popularity to Alana (Vanessa was #208 in 2020); there are quite a few Vanessas in culture/history. But I understand if the S-sounds (and/or other issues) rule it out.

Would Veronica work? There’s the Veronica Mars tie-in, which is pretty cool. It’s maybe a little sing-song with Alana, though.

I would really like to salvage Jade from your list, but Jade with your husband’s surname turns into Jay Denmark.

And what I am mostly hoping is that we can make a collective list of names with good pop-culture and historical associations. Video games! Children’s and YA books! TV shows! Comic strips! Movies! Historical things! Beatrice (Divergent series)! Greta (Thunberg)! Jacinda (Ardern)! Maxine (Waters)! I hope you are better at this than I am, since I have already suggested three with S-sounds!

Name update:

Despite me being completely convinced that this baby would be a boy, our second baby girl was born last weekend. I let my husband make the final call since our first daughter’s name was definitely my choice. He ended up deciding he liked Mia best so Mia she is! Here’s hoping it doesn’t end up too popular in her social groups going forward! Thanks for all the ideas for me to throw at him.

Hello there Swistle!

We are the Meyer-with-an-s family, expecting a baby boy around Thanksgiving. Big sister shares a name with the sixth month of the year. Her middle name is the same as mine, which is also my mom’s maiden (and happens to be a girl’s first name).

We have a list of about 5 boy names that we both like, but absolutely can not agree on one. Issues and thoughts on each…

Andrew – I think this would be the winner except that it is one of our siblings’ names and we want to -100% name a child after this sibling, which is very awkward especially since anyone who knows this sibling will assume we named the baby after him and will wonder why
Henry – just sooooo popular
Graham – my favorite, husband doesn’t like but can’t explain why
Adam – we are both kind of “yeah maybe but eh” about this one
Patrick – I think this is husband’s front runner, and I really like it except that he wants to call the baby Pat which I hate. I like Patch as a fun nickname but he thinks it’s too out there.

To help you get a sense of our style, we also like David but think it’s too boring, John but can’t use it for various reasons, and Avery but can’t get over the “it’s a girl name now” aspect. If this baby was a girl she would almost certainly be named Claire or possibly Elizabeth. So you can see that our style runs pretty classic/vanilla.

I think our biggest hurdle is how much we LOVE our daughter’s name. It is so classic, yet unexpected, and kind of “old lady” but fresh feeling. We just can’t find any boys’ name that feel like that. Everything we otherwise like seems too overused and middle aged man boring (David, William, Alan) or too trendy now (Henry).

I think it’s really down to Andrew, Graham, or Patrick, all of which feel classic and familiar but not soooooo heavily used these days, at least in our circles. But there’s the extremely awkward family issue with Andrew, and then that we each prefer a different name of the other two.

We’ve read the entire SSA top 1000 so I don’t know that we are looking for other suggestions, so much as looking for your thoughts on our top choices and help deciding!

Oh, and middle name will probably be H@stings which is my husband’s middle name. I like the symmetry of our first two kids each sharing our middle names.

Thanks in advance!!

E

I love the name Henry, and it was very nearly my youngest’s name. I see it is Top 10 in the U.S. now, according to the Social Security Administration, which is surprising to me because I still don’t know a single real-life Henry. But: my youngest kid is 14, and I don’t know as many people with babies/toddlers these days, so this makes sense. Well. I still love the name, and I like Top 50 names for boys ANYWAY, and in fact my primary concern when selecting a boy name is “But is it too UNCOMMON to use?,” so I would still be Team Henry—EXCEPT, and possibly this is RIDICULOUS but I CANNOT SHAKE IT, I have a “Henry and the Sixth Month of the Year” association, an association that is also a movie, and for me that just kills the combination. The movie is over 30 years old, I never even SAW it, I haven’t read anything about Anaïs Nin since college—but still the combination is permanently stored in my brain as Famous Couple, and so FOR ME it wouldn’t work for a sibling set. But that movie is approximately the age of the parents of babies being born today, so presumably I represent a small subset of the population here—and if I encountered a sibling set with that name, I wouldn’t feel as if it were bizarre of the parents to have chosen it, the way I would if I encountered siblings named, say, Juliet and Romeo. I would be aware of both names as existing in many, many contexts other than that one single one that rings a bell.

I share your feelings about the nickname Pat. I think Patch is cute, and would be worth a try; my prediction is that in today’s naming climate he would end up going by Patrick. But I generally advise against using a name if either of the parents strongly dislikes one of the common nicknames for it. It would be nice to make a compromise something like “We name him YOUR first choice name, but on the condition that we DO NOT use the name Pat”—but there’s just no way to ensure the success of that plan. If the name Pat DID evolve, there’d be no backsies.

I don’t like the way the -m of Adam goes into the M- of your surname. It’s not at a level that has to be a deal-breaker, but it’s something I would want to think about ahead of time. I think the name itself is great: a name my eyes skip past in the baby name books because it feels so familiar, and yet I can hardly think of any Adams I know.

If your husband doesn’t like the name Graham, it seems like that’s an easy one to take off the list. On the other hand, we’ve had many letters where the gist was “This is my favorite name and my husband hates it!,” and then we get a follow-up saying “We used the name my husband hated!,” so I know to leave room. I don’t like the way the -m goes into your surname, and it feels like a bigger issue with Graham than with Adam; it comes very close to making a “grandma” sound. I know you said you’re not really looking for additional suggestions, but I will suggest Grant anyway.

I saved Andrew for last, because I want to find a way to make it work. For my firstborn, I wanted to give him a middle name that was after my favorite grandparent—but that name also happened to be the name of my first serious long-term boyfriend. I did end up using it, and now it doesn’t bother me at all, and feels like a slightly fun story. But…that was a middle name, and many of the people in my life at this point wouldn’t know (1) my child’s middle name OR (2) the name of my first serious long-term boyfriend. Though, also, I don’t know how many of my friends would be able to come up with the name of my sibling or Paul’s sibling, either. So maybe it’s okay? Ug, I don’t know. I guess it kind of depends on how terrible the sibling is. Are we talking about a situation where you would wince hard if you had to describe him, because he has done terrible hurtful things to others? or is he just kind of an uninspiring deadbeat? or is he just not close with whichever of you is his sibling, so it would be odd for his name to be an honor name? Are the people who would be surprised/confused also people who could be told “It’s NOT after the sibling!” and take that on board? Could you find another Andrew (historical figure, author, poet, scientist, artist, whatever) and claim to be honoring THAT Andrew?

I have encountered the same issue you’re encountering with boy names, which is that it is hard to find names that are both classic AND fresh. This is why Henry is so popular: it hits that mark. Other names that feel similar to me:

Calvin
Charles/Charlie
Clark
Dean
Elliot
Everett
Franklin
Frederick
George
Grant
Harvey
Ian
Leo
Louis
Nolan
Reid
Simon
Wesley

I think one issue is that we’re maxing out the current sets of Fresh boy names (Little Gentlemen names such as Henry, Oliver, Theodore; Hip Biblical names such as Elijah, Noah, Ezra), and we need the next batch—but that next batch has not yet hit its stride at a level that identifies it. (I think pretty soon it’s going to be the -bert and -ard and -ance/-ence names, but we shall see.)

Name update:

We got to meet our boy a little early (thankfully, since he was huge!). We loved many of the suggestions from the comments, especially Jack, and going into labor had narrowed it down to Jack Arthur or Patrick H@astings. As soon as he was born we both just felt like he was Patrick, or Patch/Patcher/Patchy as we’ve already been affectionately calling. His nickname will definitely be Patch but I think it will be the informal/family type, not how we introduce him to people. Based on the reaction of all of the hospital staff, it turns out Patrick these days is just about as fresh and unexpected as big sister’s name!

Hi — I am currently pregnant with my 3rd (and final) baby – a boy due in November. Older siblings are named Georgia & James, 2.5 years apart. My husband and I are sold on the name Jack. This is a two-part question & gets interesting….

(1) Do you think James & Jack are too similar for brothers 2.5 years apart? I can’t shake Jack but don’t want to be blinded to future negatives once he is here (see part 2 on potential future negatives).

(2) My sister-in-law is also pregnant. NEWLY pregnant with her 2nd and not due until 3 months after me. At my son’s second birthday party a few weeks ago she announced that she loved the name Jack for a boy for them. They have the same last name as us. I was shocked, I had already told other family members we too loved the name (my husband especially) so we weren’t keeping it a secret but had not officially announced and decided on it. I bravely responded that we too love the name and her response was “you stole the name James from me, and NOW you are stealing Jack??” Might I mention that she waits to find out the gender at birth (we do not) and her first born is a girl. She told me that if her firstborn HAD been a boy his name was definitely Jack. I had no idea since she kept everything a secret! Since she is due after me, I don’t think I should wait to see if she has a boy to use the name. And now I’m secretly hoping it’s another girl for her so no more drama which doesn’t make me feel great. She also told me in front of family members that “Georgia, James, & Jack together are a bit much….” Is she right? Or is using Jack completely fine in this scenario… Trying not to be tainted by my sister-in-law’s reaction & opinion. Having the baby in November and now wondering if I should try and fall in love with a different name to keep the peace. IF so, do you have any names you would suggest? We love Eli & Hudson as well. Last name rhymes with Tickey.

Thanks!

Britt

I do think James and Jack are very similar brother names. And Georgia, James, and Jack is a noticeably alliterative choice, enough to draw comments. But it’s a very, very subjective thing: some people like similar sibling names, and some don’t; some people like sibling sets with matching initials/sounds, and some don’t. The main downside, I THINK, is that people will be more likely to mix up the names James and Jack than if the names were, for example, James and Eli. Which is not a huge downside, unless it would make you clench your teeth each time it happened.

It bothers me a little that one name in the sibling set is a nickname name; I think I’d be more inclined to name the third child John, and then they’d all have nickname options: Georgia/Georgie/Gigi, James/Jim/Jamie and John/Johnny/Jack.

I’m also not keen on the clackiness of Jack with the -ck- of your surname (especially if anyone pet-names Jack into Jacky, and then it’s Jacky [T]ickey), but again, that kind of repeating sound is very subjective, and one person’s not-keen-on-it is another person’s very-keen-on-it-indeed.

If we may speak privately for a moment, it sounds to me as if your sister-in-law is being a little mean, and not subtle either. And if we were actually chatting privately over coffee right now, I’d ask for more details on her other remark, the one about you stealing the name James from her. Does she have a legitimate complaint here? Like, it’s hard to claim dibs on a name as common-over-the-millennia as James—but if I were to look you in the eye very understandingly and ask for the whole story, do you think I would end up sympathetic toward her point of view? Are there perhaps additional things that would be useful for us to know, such as a family reason for her to want to use James/Jack? I wonder, too, if the fathers in this situation could perhaps have a quiet word and sort some of this out.

I do wish it were more common for people to just go ahead and use the names they liked, without worrying about duplication. It used to be MAD COMMON for cousins to have the same first/last names! And furthermore, many of them would be named after their parents/aunts/uncles/grandparents, so there could be an Elizabeth with a grandmother, mother, paternal aunt, and two cousins, all ALSO named Elizabeth! Everyone just basking in the family love/connections/history of it all!

Well. If you decide not to use Jack, let’s see if we can find some more options to consider. Eli is nice. Hudson feels like an odd choice in the sibling set: a sudden style departure from James, but a place name like Georgia.

If you want to stick with the similar-starting-sounds idea, the first name I think of is Jacob. Georgia, James, and Jacob. I like that everyone has a given name with nickname options. I like that Jake is similar to Jack. I don’t love how the -b of Jacob bumps up against the M- of your surname: my mouth has trouble making the transition.

Or Jared. I have the name Jared filed under Great Compromise Names in my mind, because I know of two families where the parents could agree on NOTHING—and then they found the name Jared and both loved it. Georgia, James, and Jared.

I’m undecided about whether to suggest Jasper. It might have the kind of freshness that would tempt you away from the name Jack. On the other hand, it feels like a very different style than James.

Or Jefferson. It has a surname sound like Hudson. It’s not as similar to James as Jack is, and adding another syllable provides even more difference. Georgia, James, and Jefferson.

Or Jonathan. I like that a little more than Jefferson as a brother name for James, but it still has the extra syllables. Georgia, James, and Jonathan.

Joseph is nice. Georgia, James, and Joseph.

Or Joshua? Georgia, James, and Joshua.

Oh, JOEL! I think Joel is such a warm, nice name, and underused but familiar. Georgia, James, and Joel.

Jude is a cool one-syllable name like Jack. I’m not sure about it with James. Georgia, James, and Jude.

If you’d be just as happy to abandon the similar starting sounds, here are some more names I like in the sibling set (I’m looking for classics like James and snappy sounds like Jack):

Benjamin; Georgia, James, and Benjamin. This puts the soft-G/J sound into the middle of the name, and also gives you the lovely nickname Ben.

Charles; Georgia, James, and Charles. I like how the matching S-but-with-a-Z-sound tie the two brother names together, without making them too matchy, and everyone can use nicknames if they wish to.

Clark; Georgia, James, and Clark. Clark is snappy like Jack, but fresher.

Davis; Georgia, James, and Davis.

Declan; Georgia, James, and Declan.

Elliot; Georgia, James, and Elliot.

Ezra; Georgia, James, and Ezra.

Garrett; Georgia, James, and Garrett.

Grant; Georgia, James, and Grant. I like the fun tie-in of using a name with a hard G: two kids would have matching LETTERS and two kids would have matching SOUNDS.

Leo; Georgia, James, and Leo.

Nathan; Georgia, James, and Nathan.

Nolan; Georgia, James, and Nolan.

Paul; Georgia, James, and Paul. Another warm, friendly name like Joel, and a good style fit with James.

Reid; Georgia, James, and Reid.

Name update:

I can’t thank you enough for answering my letter. It was therapeutic for me to write and to receive your answer & read the comments. As I read your response out loud I gasped at your very last suggestion as my husband & I had just started to strongly consider it. So on November 20 we welcomed sweet baby Reid into the world. We both agreed that Georgia, James, & Reid went so well together and he definitely doesn’t look like a Jack! We also kept our choice a secret until his birthday so that was a very fun announcement as I think all family members thought we were going to choose Jack and we received immediate positive feedback on how much everyone loved his name. The middle name is Foster which is an honor name that brought many happy tears. One commenter stated to pick a name we love even more than Jack and we did just that. I’m not sure I would have gotten there without the awkward convo with my sister in law or writing to you. Even my husband is grateful it all happened and we are all sincerely in a great place with each other.

Ohhh and my sister in law did end up having her baby too…. a baby GIRL.

Dear Swistle,

I am so excited to be writing to you, after about 10 years with my husband and 37 years loving all things baby names.

I am expecting a baby boy this December. This will be our only child. I knew, prior to finding out the baby’s sex, that naming a girl would be FAR easier for my husband and I than a boy.

For starters, my husband has the seemingly-traditional male issue of liking names that he grew up with, and because he works with kids, he also likes names that he hears now. Neither of these naming styles work with my more classic, traditional approach. But for girls, we had room for compromise:

I liked Sophie, he liked Sophia
I liked Caroline, he liked Carrie
I loved Fiona, he was open to it (ha!)

And there were probably 10 or 15 other names that we could have done that with. So. MANY. Options.

He also loved names like Mykayla, Mckenna, Mykelti, etc. Nope. But as we are having a boy, no worrying about that now.

When it comes to boys, we’ve tried one of those apps where baby naming meets Tinder. The names we both “like” (though neither of us LOVE):

Grant
Samuel
Noah
Augustus (for me, just as a middle name, but we could call him Gus-so then I’d be a little more open to a first name choice)

He also really likes Sebastian; I’m open to it as a middle name.

His other name choices:
Zayden
Braylin
and many other -lin and -den names. He is also open to gender-neutral names (he has one), I am NOT.

I love the name Henry. I can definitely “see” that being our baby’s name. My husband is not exactly on board, but hasn’t vetoed. I also really like William, which is a family name on my side, though it feels more like a middle name.

As far as other names I like:

Calvin
Conrad
Everett
George (family name)
Hugh
Julian
…I typically like girl names with nicknames, but I don’t really like any boy names with known nicknames!

He is not into any of the names on my list. So we are at a standstill. We both barely talk about it, and while I’m open to going to the hospital with two names to choose between, I’d like for us to both be on the same page with the two names (like Noah William or Henry Sebastian-which gives me a thrill when I say it btw) but we aren’t there yet. I know a nickname for Henry is H@nk, which was my husband’s grandfather’s nickname, so I thought that might help sell it for him, but so far no significant excitement there.

One more fun fact: our last name is “heinz” but spelled like the second half of a specific lower body part ha. Meaning, I am not comfortable giving our child a name that starts with B. I just think that’s asking for trouble. That’s partly why I think William is a better middle name-I like Billy, but B. Heinz is just not going to work.

Of course being a huge fan of your blog, I firmly believe that at least one name should come from my family, and/or be more of ‘my’ naming choice because our son is getting his father’s last name (and FYI my maiden name works ZERO percent with his-there’s definitely no room for combining hence why I took his name ha). Shouldn’t women get 51% of all naming rights?!

So any help you could provide on classic names that maybe have a more modern nickname, or something old-fashioned with a bit of a zing, that would be great!

Glancing just at the two Favorites lists, I see room for concern: it feels like there isn’t much chance of compromise between a list containing names such as Zayden and Braylin and a list containing names such as Henry and Everett. However, as soon as we get out of Favorites territory, I see tons of hope: you both like Grant, Samuel, and Noah! He likes SEBASTIAN and AUGUSTUS, which I would NOT have predicted based on Zayden and Braylin!

So you two are ALL SET: the issue here is just that you are not likely to find a baby name that you both LOVED from the very beginning. This is super common, and it’s one of the reasons I don’t like having “WE BOTH HAVE TO LOVE IT” as a baby-name requirement. For some couples, different naming styles means a name like that does not exist. And yet the baby still needs a name. And so the goal becomes: Let’s find a name we can both feel satisfied with. Because it is also very, very likely that you will both GROW to love the name.

You have some time before the baby is born, and I suggest using that time to Let Go of the Favorites and focus on the Like But Don’t Love list. (It may still turn out that one of the favorites will end up being The Name: we have seen this happen many times over the years, especially with partners who seem a little meh about the whole naming process during the pregnancy. But best to let that be a happy surprise, if it happens.) Write the Like But Don’t Love names on a piece of paper and put it up where you both see it many times a day. Have both parents rank the names in order of preference (it’s fine to have more than one name sharing the same ranking), and see if any of the names are ranked near/at the bottom for both of you and can be eliminated from consideration. Try out first names with various middle names, and see if any of the combinations give either of you a little thrill. Grant William Heinz. Augustus George Heinz. Noah Sebastian Heinz. Grant Sebastian Heinz. Etc. Do you have a favorite family name or name from your list that you would feel especially thrilled to use as the balance to using your husband’s surname? Start with that name, and see what combinations you can come up with.

I am not particularly skilled at coming up with unusual nicknames, but we have some among us who ARE, and I hope they will take a look at your list of favorites and see if there is anything that might bring your husband around to those choices. George/Geordie? Calvin/Cal/Vinnie? Any chance he’s a Jules Verne fan and would appreciate Julian/Jules? In fact, that’s another line to pursue, if you have the energy: I enticed Paul to fall for a certain name by mentioning the various famous people he knew of who shared that name. Wikipedia has useful entries (here’s the one for Conrad) that contain lists of famous people who have the name as either a first name or a surname.

And perhaps we can add to the Like list, to make it more fun to consider. Do you have a copy of The Baby Name Wizard? You can look up any name and see what other names are suggested. If you look up Grant, for example, the suggestions are Reid, Garrett, Dean, Brooks, Lincoln, Preston. Maybe you think Brooks is going the wrong direction but Reid sounds great, so then you look up Reid; the suggestions are Grant, Ross, Elliott, Blake, Nolan, Graham. Hey, Nolan is kind of like Noah! Elliott is kind of like Everett! Etc.! There are also categories that seem like they might be what you’re looking for: “old-fashioned with a bit of a zing” could be Elegant Antiques (August, Cyrus, Jasper, Oliver, Silas, Theodore), or Stately Classics (Arthur, Crawford, Edmund, Frederick, Louis), or Solid Citizens (Clark, Ellis, Stanley, Warren), or Timeless (Anderson, Davis, Elliott, Nolan, Simon). Augustus doesn’t have its own entry for looking up name suggestions, but it’s found in several categories, including Exotic Traditionals (Alastair, Barnaby, Cedric, Milo) and the aforementioned Elegant Antiques.

Name update:

Thank you SO MUCH for posting my naming conundrum and for the great advice and comments that followed. Though my husband and I had planned to sit down and really discuss names before the official due date (today!), our son decided to make his world debut one month early.

Post-delivery, my lovely husband came around to my ‘compromise’ name of Henry Seb@sti@n (which still gives me a thrill to say!) and at one month old, Sir Henry is healthy and thriving! Thanks again!

Dear Swistle,
I’ve been a reader for a long time, and 3ish years ago you had a “quick answers in the comments” post that helped us name our daughter (Cor@ H@zel). We are now expecting another daughter (almost certainly our last child) in October, and are really struggling with her name.

We went into the delivery room with two names when Cora was born, and we still really liked the name we didn’t end up using, which was Margaret. But my husband’s cousin used the name for his daughter about 6 months ago, and we just felt weird about using it.

(As an aside, not only did they use the first name we had picked out, they also used the dated, relatively obscure middle name that we were going to use…it’s my middle name with some history on my mom’s side, so totally unexpected for my husband’s cousin to use it! We hadn’t shared our name choices with anyone, so we were flabbergasted when they announced her name).

We brainstormed a new list of names, but we are having a really hard time getting to a consensus. We even put Margaret back on the list (they exclusively call their Margaret by a nickname we would never use, so it feels less weird. We would call her Margaret or maybe Margo, and pick a different middle), but now my husband is having second thoughts about it. He has trouble spelling it (which I argued he would get used to once he wrote her name down a few times while filling out paperwork) and isn’t sure about how the middle syllable gets smooshed. Also I recently found out that was my grandpa’s most hated aunt’s name, which, while that doesn’t really matter, doesn’t give me *good* vibes.

Our last name is Dutch. It sounds like Anderson but with a “V” stuck on the front, and the emphasis is on the “der”.

Our “naming rules” are that it should be pronounceable upon seeing and spell-able upon hearing. We did break that rule with Cora, and it hasn’t been a problem, so I guess that’s more of a naming “guideline”. We tend to like shorter names because our last name is a mouthful, and we don’t like unisex names.

Here’s the list we’ve come up with. We both like all of these names enough to use them, theoretically, but disagree on which one would be best. Or second best. Or 3rd best etc.

Alice (some family baggage, but surmountable if we love it best)

Margaret (after all the drama it feels a little anticlimactic to go back, but I still love it)

Willa (husband’s grandma, worried about constantly being mistaken for Willow?)

Violet (husband doesn’t like how the middle syllable is swallowed up, and I’m not sure how I feel about the alliteration)

Grace (I think it’s a little boring/dated)

Mabel (Mae is a family name for me, it just might be a little too Old Lady Chic? It’s quite a bit less popular than Cora)

Iris (I love, husband wishy washy. He likes it when he thinks flower, but not eyeball)

Ada (husband likes, I’m wishy washy)

Margot (my first choice when Margaret got axed, husband also loves it but he hates the “t”…it makes his brain go Mar-Got, but we think we might be dooming her to a life of constant irritation if we used an alternate spelling, since the t spelling is pretty dominant?)

Molly (It doesn’t feel substantial enough to me but husband likes it)

Ivy (we both love but it sounds bad with our last name)

For middle names our preference is “names we like with a family connection”, even if that connection is tenuous or only in our heads. Current options include Elise (a mashup of our moms’ middles-Lee and Denise) or Elizabeth (after husband’s grandma Betty). But we aren’t that fussed and will cross that bridge once we pick a first name!

Help! I don’t know if what we need is a name we haven’t thought of, or for someone in authority to tell us which problems we are wondering about are or are not real. We are in the middle of an international move (Americans moving back from abroad), with a toddler, in a pandemic, so I’m willing to accept that excess stress might be leading me to create problems where none exist!

Thanks,
David and Samantha

I still love Margaret for this baby, and I think it’s lovely with the sibling name and surname. Issues I am declaring Not Real: it was the name of your grandfather’s most hated aunt; your husband currently has trouble spelling it (I have utter faith in his ability to improve with patience and practice!).

I also love Alice. Cora and Alice! Gorgeous. Is the s-sound in Alice at all odd with the s-sound in the surname, or is it a nice tie-in? I can’t quite tell.

I think Willa is another great option. I doubt it would be confused with Willow at a level that might rule out using it, though I’d be grateful for input from people who know/have/are a Willa. And so many names are briefly/occasionally confused with other names, and it seems like it’s not a big deal unless it’s a virtually unheard of name that is CONSTANTLY confused with a much more familiar name, which is not the case here. And so I declare that issue Not Real—UNLESS it would make you clench your teeth with intense irritation every time it was confused with Willow, in which case I declare it Real—though, even then, perhaps more an issue of thinking of ways to prevent the confusion, such as exaggerating the articulation the first time, or immediately spelling it, or saying “Willa: like Will but with an A on the end.”

I am picky about alliteration, and I am in favor of Violet with your surname. I don’t mind the “swallowed middle syllable” issue, though I do see it; this seems like another fairly common name situation. Like, if your husband ONLY likes the name pronounced Vi-o-let, and it will drive him crazy to hear Vi-let, then that is a genuinely good reason not to use it. But if this is more a theoretical thing, where he likes Vi-o-let AND Vi-let but is bothered in principle by the fact that in language we sometimes smooth/elide, then that seems like another Not Real issue.

I think Mabel is delightful with Cora. I think this is a good example of a pairing where each name makes me like the other name even more.

Margo(t) is another good option, and I see no reason at all to use the T version if you’d prefer it without: both spellings are familiar. You are correct that with the T is currently more common, but the one without the T used to be dominant. I think it’s only an issue if it would bug you to sometimes need to correct someone’s spelling. My own name has various spellings, and it doesn’t feel like a big deal to have to either pre-load the correct spelling (“Kristen; that’s K-r-i-s-t-E-n”) or else correct it when necessary (“Oh—it’s Kristen with a K”). It doesn’t feel like being doomed to a lifetime of constant irritation. And TONS of names have alternate spellings, so it feels like another pretty common naming thing.

I have said it aloud many times and am not confident enough to try to pressure you about it—but actually I REALLY LIKE Ivy with your surname. I think it’s distinctive in a good way. I could see how it might feel like it could run together a little—but I think you’d quickly get used to putting a teensy little pause in there, like “Ivy.V____.” And I adore it with Cora. But of course such things are hugely subjective: if you don’t like the sound of Ivy with your surname, that’s what matters. (I’m hoping other commenters will try it out and then weigh in.) (And side with me.) (Because I love it more and more.)

More names to consider:

Beatrice
Beatrix
Eliza
Frances
Gemma
Greta (unless this is the nickname for Margaret the cousin is using)
Harriet
Ida
Isla
Louise
Lydia
Jane
Jean
Pearl
Polly
Rose
Stella
Sylvia

Name update:

Hi Swistle!

Our daughter arrived last week and was nameless for 2 days. Pre-delivery we had narrowed down our long list to two (Margo Elise or Ivy Elizabeth) and intended to choose one upon meeting her. But when we held her, neither felt right, so we went back to the longer list and decided that her name is Violet Elise!

Thank you so much for your help and advice. It was really freeing to hear that you liked the way Ivy sounded with our last name…we had taken a lot of names off the list that clashed, but couldn’t ever get rid of Ivy. ( I think part of the reason we didn’t use Ivy is that Violet spent a few days in the NICU and all the talk about her IV subconsciously soured me on it. If we were ever to have another girl we’d definitely put it back on the list).

Thanks again,
Samantha and David

Dear Swistle,

My husband and I are expecting our first child, a girl, in early October. We are torn between two names and it feels impossible to choose! Our last name rhymes with McTune and the middle name will be my maiden name.

The two names we are deciding between are Rose and Laine/Lane (I know Laine is the traditional spelling of the girls name, but I personally prefer the look of Lane. However, spelling is not the issue here). Although we’ve tried not to share potential names with many people in fear that their reactions would influence us too greatly, there does seem to be strong preference by friends towards Rose.

We both have short, familiar (some may say common) names and have always appreciated that. I never wished that instead of Kate I had been named something more exotic. I really appreciate having a short, classic name. Rose definitely fits the bill, but is Lane too out there? Should we go with Rose even if we have a slight preference towards Lane in order ensure that our little girl has a Perfectly Acceptable and Well Liked Name?

Help!!!

Kate & Chris

It’s obvious to me (and I suspect to you) that the answer to your final question is no. It sounds to me more as if you’re feeling pressure on various levels to prefer/use Rose, and you would rather make your choice WITHOUT those pressures—and for what it’s worth, I certainly think that you can go ahead and choose the name you prefer rather than the name some of the other people in your life prefer. Other people’s preferences are generally fleeting and shallow: that is, you may indeed be correctly assessing that some of your friends and family have a strong preference for the name Rose—but I doubt any of them care deeply, or that they will continue to care long after the baby is born and named. It may help to think about how you’ve felt in the past about what your friends/family have named THEIR children: even if you had a reaction/opinion, did you DEEP-DOWN care? did you LASTINGLY care? Or did you have a flicker of interest and then go on with your life, unaffected?

Certainly I think it’s appropriate to feel SOME pressure from society/culture: if you were trying to decide between the names Rose and Yogurt, and you were getting shocked/horrified reactions to the name Yogurt from a few trusted friends and family members, I would suggest you should consider that feedback carefully, as it might represent how the larger society would react as well. But when we are talking about the names Rose and Lane, and about different people just having different naming styles, I don’t think you need to be unduly influenced by what other people might prefer. Lane is less common, but I would not put it in the Out There category: it feels familiar and normal and non-startling.

I think of Laine as another possible spelling, but not as “the right/traditional spelling for girls” or anything: Lane feels correct for anyone.

I notice two small things, neither of which are objectively positive or negative, but both of which I would want to think about ahead of time. The first is that Lane with your surname is a little sing-songy. “Lane” and “[T]une” have similar word structures (one syllable, long vowel, -ne ending), and then the “Mc” in the middle gives it the little storybook hop of a children’s book/poem. The second thing I notice is that the name Lane is somewhat similar to the name Kate: one syllable, dominant long-A vowel.

Because Rose and Lane are quite stylistically different, I think it could be helpful to think ahead to future sibling names, to make sure neither name is an outlier of your usual style. Would you want to use Rose and Lane in the same sibling group, or does using one of them rule out using the other? Does the rest of your list look more like Lane, or more like Rose, or is it a nice mix? Usage of the name Lane is currently unisex-leaning-fairly-strongly-boy in the United States (103 new baby girls and 1360 new baby boys named Lane in 2020, according to the Social Security Administration) (another 111 new baby girls and 99 new baby boys were named Laine that same year); the name Rose is currently used exclusively for girls. Look at the rest of your favorites list: do they tend to be unisex? exclusively boy/girl? a mix? Imagine you have one or two more children after this one: can you make a satisfactory sibling set with either Rose or Lane as the firstborn? Do you find yourself preferring one set of names over another? If there is no trouble coming up with future names to go with either Rose or Lane, and if either set seems good to you, then I see no reason you shouldn’t very naturally choose whichever name you find you prefer.

But if you remove other people’s preferences as far as you are able to do so (it is nearly impossible for some of us not to consider them), and you still can’t decide, then you could try doing some little games/exercises: Narrowing Down a List; Deciding Between Two Finalists. And/or you could see if you can find more names similar to Rose/Lane: Sloane, Lynn, Fern, Joan, Ivy, Brynn, Pearl, Jean, Jane, Grace, Eve, Leigh, Claire, etc. Or you could take some time off: you have some time left before the baby is here, and you have two names you both love, so you are in a good place right now. If it is helpful, I will say that I don’t see much danger here of Choosing the Wrong Name: both names seem like good solid choices that would serve a person well.

Update:

Thank you so much for all the help. In the end, we decided to go with our gut and baby Lane was born in October. Although there have been one or two less than enthusiastic responses to her name, we love it and it seems to fit her well.

Hello!

I really didn’t think I would ever have the need to write in with another question after you helped name our daughter a few years ago but here we are. =)

I am currently pregnant with our third (and last) baby, a boy, due in mid-September and we are absolutely stuck on a name for him and can’t find any names that we both love and agree on.

Our oldest son is 4 and named Jameson Penn after both grandpas and my husband who all share the name James. We call him both Jameson and James equally. Our daughter is 2 with the full legal name of Natalie but exclusively called Tilly. From our last pregnancy, I emailed you with the dilemma of loving the name Tilly for years but both my husband and I not liking the full name Matilda for the nickname, You suggested that Tilly could be a stretch for Natalie and we fell in love with the name combo immediately. Even to this day, I still get so giddy (and so many compliments) on her name. Her middle name is Juliette named after my mother-in-law for an honor name.

And now almost three years later, we have found ourselves in a very similar bind somehow. It is rare for my husband and I to agree on a name so we both end up just putting our favorites on a list which now includes 29 names which only seems to be growing as time goes on. His front runner is Samuel which I do love but I can’t stand the nickname Sam which I know it would inevitably turn into. MY front runner is Lance. I love, love, love the name Lance. My husband also really likes it and says that it would definitely be our top choice if it wasn’t for the nickname issue AGAIN.

Our last name is a one-syllable, short, harsh-sounding German name sounding like a mixture between Trout and Trash. Lance T________. Just doesn’t have the same flow as Jameson or Natalie and seems too harsh. And, just like Matilda, we don’t like Lancelot to get the nickname. I went online to look for alternatives and there really doesn’t seem to be any for Lance except I saw one Reddit commenter say that she used Lawrence with the nickname Lance. And again I fell in love! For so many reasons, this seems to be the perfect solution! This final baby will be named after my mom as the last grandparent honor name with the middle name of Beck for Becky. So that means all three of my babies will have an honor name covering all their grandparents and dad and I am the only one left out as the mom. I’m so happy we did the honor names and don’t regret them at all but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little salty that, as the mother, I kind of get left out.

My first name is Courtney and before becoming a stay at home mom, I worked in the legal field which was always a joke with the name association with teasing of “Courtney goes to Court” etc. I LOVE that LAWrence and COURTney would have a very small connection (and I am in no way implying that he would be in the legal field as well or pressuring him into that) but I find it a cute name-match that probably only I would think of.

This time around though, I’m surprised at the push back I am getting from my husband and other close family members about it being too much of a stretch to use Lance for Lawrence compared to using Tilly for Natalie. I feel like it’s the same amount of stretch and unusual for both but workable. I’m hearing comments that it will be too confusing, people won’t get the association, Lawrence and Lance are two different styles while Natalie and Tilly aren’t, etc. So I’m curious what your readers and name-experts think. Is Lance too much of a weird stretch to come from Lawrence? Is it weird that we would have two kids with longer names but nicknames only used for them while our oldest doesn’t have that issue? Are there any other problems you could foresee with this name combo? I’ve never wished for a longer last name more than I do when I’m pregnant because it would solve so many of my problems with my love for short nicknamey-type names as first names. I appreciate your help and I promise to update you when the baby comes in a couple of months!

Courtney T.

I agree with you: I don’t think Lawrence/Lance is any more of a stretch than Natalie/Tilly, and I think it’s a clever solution to the problem. I greatly dislike the argument I’m about to make (when people make this argument to me, I INVARIABLY think “sure, theoretically this makes sense, but on the other hand those other nicknames came about naturally and this one didn’t, so”), but if this is the perfect time and place for it, then here is how it goes: “If Meg and Maggie can be nicknames for Margaret / If Betsy and Libby can be nicknames for Elizabeth / If Ned can be a nickname for Edward / If Ted can be a nickname for Theodore / If Hank can be a nickname for Henry / If Dottie can be a nickname for Dorothy / If Kit can be a nickname for Katherine / If Jimmy can be a nickname for James / If Nell can be a nickname for Eleanor / If Larry can be a nickname for Lawrence—then what’s so much stranger about Lance?” (And I’m trying to choose the more familiar ones, here! I’m not even getting into Sadie and Sally for Sarah; Polly for Mary; Daisy for Margaret!)

Furthermore, I think having a nickname that’s a different style from the given name is not only Highly Desirable but also Typical: it’s one of the APPEALS of a long formal name, that so many of them come with different-style nicknames! Maybe Margaret feels like it’s a bit much for a baby, but Daisy/Maggie are just right; maybe Charles seems a little formal for a toddler, but Charlie works beautifully; Theodore is so dignified/elegant but cute Teddy is perfect for now; Leopold is heavy but Leo is light. Etc. That’s the way nicknames WORK! No one says “Oh, but Posey is such a different STYLE from Josephine”! On the contrary: around the world we have parents saying “I’d love to use my grandparent’s name, but it’s so old-fashioned; can we think of a good nickname for it, to make it more usable?” Which is what, as it turns out, you’ve reverse-engineered in this case, if reverse-engineered is the term I want. (Do you have a Lawrence in the family tree anywhere? I think that would make this EVEN BETTER.)

I don’t think it’s weird to have two kids with near-exclusive nickname usage and one who uses both a given name and a nickname: this is the kind of thing that can feel important during the naming process, but later on no one notices/cares. It helps, too, that one kid with a nickname solution is a girl and the other is a boy. And that a lot of people won’t even know Tilly/Lance are nicknames: we know a bunch of Liams, and for most of them I don’t know which are given-name Liams and which are short for William; we know a fair number of Bradys, and for most of them I don’t know which are given-name Bradys and which are short for Braden. And perhaps Jameson will choose to go exclusively by James in the future, and people won’t even know it’s a nickname and will think THAT is his given name. I don’t think this matters, is what I’m trying to say.

I hesitate to mention this issue, because I find I don’t want to say anything against the name Lawrence, but with your surname I believe it could be misunderstood as the name Lauren. We have a family friend whose name is Liam Mason, and it is almost uncanny how often people even in our own household think someone just said Leah Mason. Lawrence Tr____ is not as blendy, but could still be heard as Lauren Str_____. But it sounds like you’d be calling him Lance almost all the time, so it would not come up the way it does with our friend Liam.

I would also like to add that I think Lance T____ works fine (similar to the famous singer Lance Bass), and that it’s not necessary for sibling names to share similar flows. But I see what you mean about preferring something longer and perhaps less consonant-rich. Still, I think if I were you I would go for the name I really wanted rather than finding a work-around. It’s just that at this point I like your work-around so much—but NORMALLY I would be saying no, just use Lance, don’t use a name you don’t want to use in order to get the name you DO want to use, when the problem you’re trying to solve (two one-syllable names in a row, like Brad Pitt or Glenn Close) doesn’t have to be a problem.

I don’t think it’s better than Lawrence, but I should mention the possibility of Clancy. I personally prefer the jump from Lawrence, though: the -Cl- blend at the beginning of Clancy makes it more difficult for my mind to separate out the nickname.

I wonder if you would like Lanson. Clearly there is a repeating-endings issue with your first son’s name, but I see a fair amount of this in the wild, and no one seems upset by it. Jameson/James, Natalie/Tilly, and Lanson/Lance. It loses the one small part of the name that could theoretically be said to relate to his mother, and that bothers me, but on the other hand the Law- connection feels like SUCH a small thing that it’s almost worse than nothing, a crumb.

Or to lean into that crumb: skip Lance, name him Lawson. James has his Jameson, you have your Lawson. (This is making me feel crabby, even though I like the name Lawson.)

Or Landon. You know how people call Prince William “Wills” sometimes? It could be like that, kind of, but…Lance.

Or Landers? A surname name like Jameson, albeit a much more unusual one. I am not keen on the way the -s blends into the T- of your surname.

I don’t like it, but I know it’s a common thing to do with names: you could name him Dylan or Declan or Rylan or Nolan or Lachlan or Alan or Holland or something, and get Lance from that. Especially in the case of Holland, people would understand why you wouldn’t want to nickname him Holly. (But I think this is just as true of Lawrence, where people would understand that this was not the era for Larry or Laurie.)

I just read a book with a good Langston. Could we get Lance from that? Langston, Langst, Lanst, Lance?

Okay, wait. Cortland/Courtland. The Cort-/Court- from your name, and then the -lan part that, since the full name is a namesake name, is perhaps more understandable to use as a nickname? “We named him Courtland after me, but he goes by Lance so it’s less confusing!” Can we make that fly? Jameson/James, Natalie/Tilly, and Cortland/Lance?

Or to abandon Lance completely: first name Beckett for your mom, Court as the middle after you. Or even middle name Courtney after you: as usage of the name decreases in the U.S., its unisex nature becomes more pronounced (according to the Social Security Administration, there were 156 new baby girls and 61 new baby boys given the name in 2020; at the name’s peak in 1990, it was given to 15,379 new baby girls and 675 new baby boys). Jameson/James, Natalie/Tilly, and Beckett/Beck.

Daniel came to mind when I was just sort of saying Samuel and Lance and looking for sound similarities, so I thought I’d mention it just in case. I know it’s a very different style of name than Lance, but it’s similar in style to Samuel.

Also Vincent, nickname Vince.

But really, when I read your idea of Lawrence/Lance, I thought “YES” and was impressed. It seems to me like the nickname Lance makes the name Lawrence fresher and more usable: I know you were working from the other direction, but I think that’s the outcome anyway, and in fact I expect this post to lead to more little Lawrence/Laurence/Lances as other parents search online and find your work-around.

Name update:

Hello!

I wanted to update you and thank one of your readers for helping us decide on the name for our 3rd and final baby. After reading through your response and going through the very helpful comments, we came to the conclusion that while we both loved the name Lance, my husband couldn’t get on board with Lawrence as the legal name. One sweet commenter came up with the name of Lanston and I loved the sound combined with our last name. Lanston “Lance” Beck was born last week and we are settling into our family of 5. Thanks again for all the advice and naming wisdom!

Courtney

Dear Swistle,

I’ve started and deleted an email to you so many times, hoping inspiration would strike, but I think we’re really stuck! We are expecting our daughter Corinne in mid-September, and we cannot decide on a middle name:

– To give you an idea of style, we chose Corinne for several reasons. It’s always been on my list because it’s uncommon but not unusual; relatively easy to say and spell; and I don’t know any. It also happens to be my husband’s great grandmother’s name. Her family called her Coco.
– Her last name is Kitten, but with an “a” instead of the “i”.
– Corinne is our first and likely only child. She has all girl cousins: Caroline Rose, Nora Kate, Audrey Joanne, Eden Abigail, Samantha and Brooklyn (family middle names we would not use.)
– We are cognizant of initials, so middle names like Olivia would not work.
– Names we have considered: Elena, Cecilia, Celeste, Elise or Elisa; family names Adele, May (or Maye) or Vivian, (but I don’t like the triple “n” sound – Corinne Vivian Kitten seems to be a bit much to me); Josephine, Genevieve.
– My husband’s grandmother recently passed away, and we would love to honor her but haven’t come up with anything. Her name was Doris, which we don’t care for; her maiden name was Quicksilver. In the Jewish naming tradition, we would love to use one of those initials, but haven’t found anything we love.

Can you help us find something that flows? Thank you!

– Monica and Dave

From your list, my favorites are Corinne Josephine Kitten and Corinne Genevieve Kitten. With a first name and a last name that both have two syllables, both begin in a hard-C/K sound, and both end in an -n sound, I find I want variety in the middle: more syllables, different sounds. Although I find I also like ANOTHER two-syllable name there: Corinne Elise, Corinne Adele—and I like the idea of a family name, so Corinne Adele Kitten stands out, and joins the favorites.

Quicksilver is a delightful family name. Is there any chance you’d like to use that as-is? Corinne Quicksilver Kitten. I am so envious of people with good family surnames to use as middles. The only thing that bothers me about it is that then the child has three honor names from her father’s side of the family, and none from her mother’s. Perhaps your own family’s surname as the middle? Or another surname from your side of the family?

Or your first name? Corinne Monica Kitten. I love that. I know I just said a couple paragraphs ago that I wanted new sounds in the middle—but repeating that hard-C/K sound and the N-sound but in the MIDDLE of the middle name is very pleasing to my ear. The whole name sort of SNAPS. This is probably my first choice, though I am still tempted by Corinne Quicksilver Kitten.

For more ideas starting with Q or D, I recommend looking through the comments on Our Favorite Baby Names Starting with Q and Our Favorite Baby Names Starting with D. Q names are scarce, but there are tons of good D names. Putting some of my own favorites with Corinne: Corinne Delaney Kitten, Corinne Dahlia Kitten, Corinne Darcy Kitten, Corinne Delphine Kitten.

Part of what may be tripping us up, I think, is the second-syllable emphasis of Corinne. I can’t decide if I like to REPEAT that emphasis (Corinne Elise, Corinne Adele, Corinne Celeste, Corinne Joelle, Corinne Simone, Corinne Louise) or go against it (Corinne Josephine, Corinne Genevieve, Corinne Eleanor, Corinne Henrietta), or something in between (Corinne Elizabeth, Corinne Veronica, Corinne Penelope, Corinne Francesca, Corinne Matilda, Corinne Emilia, Corinne Petunia). I think I lean somewhat toward the in-between ones: names with three or four syllables, but with the emphasis on the second syllable. Here’s a post we did on four-syllable names with second-syllable emphasis, but I think I like the sound of three-syllable-with-second-syllable-emphasis even better:

Corinne Bettina Kitten
Corinne Bianca Kitten
Corinne Diantha Kitten
Corinne Eliza Kitten
Corinne Fiona Kitten
Corinne Francesca Kitten
Corinne Georgina Kitten
Corinne Gianna Kitten
Corinne Louisa Kitten
Corinne Lucinda Kitten
Corinne Matilda Kitten
Corinne Mackenzie Kitten
Corinne Marina Kitten
Corinne Melinda Kitten
Corinne Minerva Kitten
Corinne Miranda Kitten
Corinne Naomi Kitten
Corinne Regina Kitten
Corinne Rosella Kitten
Corinne Sabrina Kitten
Corinne Sophia Kitten
Corinne Susannah Kitten
Corinne Theresa Kitten

And some names just DECLINE TO FLOW, and that’s okay! We say the entire name at graduations, and that’s about it. So it is also okay to choose something that doesn’t necessarily flow, but makes you happy in another way: a good honor name, a name you wish you could have used as a first name but couldn’t, etc.

Name update:

I’m glad I wrote in when I did, as our sweet girl made an early appearance at 29 weeks weighing 2.5 lbs. She is thriving in the NICU thus far, and we can’t wait to bring her home.

This did, however, lead to an “oh crap! we need a middle name!” moment in the hospital. I fought for Quicksilver but lost that battle. We read through the list of suggestions and the one that got the best “oooh, I like that!” response was: Lucille! It’s the name of the restaurant where we had our first date, it gives nice initials, and it’s a little whimsical. Thank you all for your thoughts! Picture to follow when she’s free of all the medical gear.

Hi Swistle,
Sorry to be a pest but baby boy was born extremely unexpectedly at 33 weeks yesterday!

Currently nameless 😭🤐

Would you mind taking a look over my email below and kindly imparting your wisdom?

Thank you ever so much,

Jaydee Menegon

Hi Swistle,

I’m reaching out for help with naming our third baby due mid July,
So far we have a Hazel Mae (4) and a Frederick Joseph (2). This will likely be our last babe and we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl. My gut says boy.
Our surname is Menegon (husbands family is from northern Italy).

We both like classic names, and don’t mind nicknames. Well, I say that but it’s extremely difficult to get husband on board with any type of theme or genre. I’m very lucky we have Hazel and Freddie who I think go perfectly together. Baby boy names that appeal to me are

Albert (Bertie)
Herbert (Herb or Bertie)
Winston (Win, Winnie)
Walter (Walt)
Abraham (Abe)
Roman
Monty

Middle name likely to be from this list also as we don’t have any family names we wish to use

Girls short list is
Olive Maude / Maude Olive
Winslow
Winter
Mabel

Again, girl middle names are open for discussion.

I would love to use Olive in there somewhere as it was my grandmothers name, and after a rather unfortunate case of ‘name stealing’ just before Hazel was born I feel ready to use it again. I do like old fashioned, vintage and slightly out of the ordinary names. Also wouldn’t mind some alliteration this time around.

My husband has a habit of strongly rejecting names (ie Frederick) and then completely forgetting and coming on board in the delivery room, so I feel as though his preliminary opinions aren’t worth too much. We both have plain strong first names.

Thank you so much for your time

Jaydee

I won’t linger on this one since we are abruptly out of time (welcome, baby!), but a few quick things:

Since this is likely your last baby, and you were hoping to honor your grandmother Olive, I wonder if you would like to put Oliver in there somewhere, either as first or middle? (If as a middle, I would probably avoid initials DOM, MOM, VOM, and I would have to consider how I felt about COM, NOM.)

My own favorites from your list are Albert, Winston, and Walter.

Other names I might consider with a Hazel and a Frederick:

Alistair
Arthur
Barnaby
Charles
Edmund
Edward
Elliot
George
Gilbert
Harvey
Howard
John
Karl
Laurence
Louis
Miles
Paul
Robert
Russell
Stanley
Vincent
Warren
Wesley

Name update:

Hi Swistle,

Firstly thank you so much for posting in my time of need! Baby boy is doing so well and is completely off breathing support. With any luck in the next couple of weeks he will take to breast / bottle feeding and we can make our way home from hospital as a family of 5!

I truly appreciated all of your suggestions. I couldn’t commit to Oliver whilst I still had a .1% chance of #4 (although I know I said 3 was our number haha)

Introducing, with love, our little fighter Walter Albert, adored little brother to Hazel Mae and Frederick Joseph

Thank you very much again,

Jaydee and Grant xx