Hi!

I am due September 5th with our first child. We are having a boy, and we are completely stumped on a name!

Some names we like are Luca, Sebastian, and Milan. My husband has suggested Luca Dean (which I like, but fear that it sounds too similar to Dean and Deluca). He also likes Sebastian Cruz, which I like but I’m not sure if it’s too much?? We can’t think of anything that goes with Milan, any suggestions? I haven’t been able to settle on a name because I feel like I’m missing something, or that I’m close to what I’m looking for but just not there yet….

Surname sounds like Ver-bell.

Some names we had on our list Rylan, Jaylen, Desmin, Royce and Remy.

I would most appreciate any and all feedback on what we have, as well as warmly welcome suggestions on names we might have missed, and name combinations/middle name suggestions, etc.

I look forward to hearing from you! I have truly enjoyed reading your blog posts! I can’t wait to hear what help you have to offer, and to happily report back a final name we settle on!

Best regards,

Gilda

In some families, the middle name is in everyday usage; but in most families, it’s a special occasion name for birth announcements, discipline, and graduations. Luca Dean gave me a flash of recognition (I don’t know how long it would have taken me to think specifically of Dean and Deluca; it just felt very familiar for a reason I couldn’t put a finger on), but the daily-use name Luca Verbell doesn’t have that issue. Sebastian Cruz may seem like too much, but most people will only hear Sebastian Verbell.

I think I’d like to start by seeing if we can get a handle on your naming style. Rylan and Jaylen are both modern names. Sebastian and Royce feel vintage-revival and gentlemanly. Milan, Jaylen, Remy, Rylan, and Luca are unisex to various degrees. Luca, Milan, Sebastian, and Remy have international flair. Royce is an interesting pick: familiar, and yet quite unusual. I’m not familiar with the name Desmin, and might suggest Desmond unless you have a particular reason for using the unusual variation. It looks to me like for the most part you like suave, not-too-macho, not-too-common names. I see a lot of R and L sounds.

Do you think you’re likely to try for more children after this one? If so, I’d suggest thinking ahead to sibling names, and thinking about how much you’d like them to coordinate. If you’d prefer some coordination, this is a good time to pick between, say, the Jaylen path and the Sebastian path.

Every parent feels differently about unisex names: some people love them, some people avoid them, some people get angry about how our society tends to use “boy names” for girls but not “girl names” for boys. What I like to do is limit the discussion as much as possible to usage facts: not discussing whether names “should” be used for one sex or the other, but only showing how the names are currently used in the United States, and leaving it up to the parents after that. Here is the U.S. usage for 2014:

Luca: 67F, 2291M
Lucca: 40F, 319M
Luka: 16F, 489M

Milan: 424F, 748M

Rylan: 339F, 1726M
Rylen: 43F, 205M
Rylin: 67F, 7M
Rylinn: 228F, 11M
Rylynn: 183F, 8M

Remy: 278F, 424M
Remi: 429F, 88M

Jaylen: 156F, 1082M
Jaylyn: 165F, 36M
Jaylynn: 416F, 17M

(I gave up on Rylan and Jaylen variations: there were just too many, and I hadn’t even started on the Ril- and Jal- spellings yet! To summarize: unisex, used overall more often for boys, but the -lan/-len endings lend themselves to -lyn/-lynn variations.)

For something to go with Milan, I started by saying “Milan ____ Verbell” over and over, with a little pause between, to see if a rhythm would feel right. The first one I thought of was a dah-DAH-dah type of name. Milan Jacoby Verbell. Milan Elijah Verbell. Milan Tobias Verbell. Milan Augustus Verbell.

But then I realized I was saying ver-BELL. If the emphasis is more on the first syllable, I still like Jacoby and the rest of them, but I’d add some basic two-syllable, emphasis-on-the-first-syllable, traditional names: Milan Robert Verbell, Milan Joseph Verbell, Milan Henry Verbell.

With Milan, Rylan, and Jaylen on your list, I wonder if you’d like the name Nolan. It has that suave sound to me. Nolan Verbell.

Or Alan. I’m not sure I’ve mentioned that name in awhile, but it was in our top seven finalists for Henry. I think we’d just watched a documentary with Alan Alda, and I was admiring his calm, friendly personality. Alan Verbell.

Or Lance. That’s got the -lan/-len sound and also the -ce of Royce. Lance Verbell.

Or Bryce. Bryce Verbell.

Or Brooks. Brooks Verbell.

But I feel like these last few are getting a little preppier than what you’re looking for. Maybe more like:

Adrian Verbell
Dean Verbell
Elliot Verbell
Emmett Verbell
Everett Verbell
Flynn Verbell
Graham Verbell
Grant Verbell
Julian Verbell
Louis Verbell
Miles Verbell
Phineas Verbell
Reid Verbell
Rhys Verbell
Simon Verbell
Theodore Verbell

Name update!

Hi!

I’m writing with our name update! We welcomed our baby boy August 30th and his name is Bastian Demir Verbell.

Thanks again so much for all your help! It was so fun reading your suggestions and the suggestions of all your wonderful readers!

Take care!
Gilda

We have another little boy coming soon and are having difficulties choosing a name for him that corresponds with our first boy, Grayson Michael. We cut out all one syllable first names because they sound too choppy with our surname. We just loved the name Grayson for our first and Michael is a family name after my father. Our names are Jordan and Amanda, to give you an idea of the flow of our names. We have cut down our list to two favorites so far that we can both agree on – Jackson and Maddox.

If we went with Jackson, then the middle name would be Taylor (my husband’s middle name). Hubby loves this name as he feels it is a strong name for a boy. We would use “Jax” as a nickname, as I am not a fan of Jack. If he decides to go by that when he gets older then so be it, but as a childhood nickname I would call him “Jax”. I love the name Jackson and it was actually one of my favorites for naming our first, but at that time hubby didn’t love it. Now he has surprised himself by having it as his number one name. My issue with it comes in the ending. Since we already have a Grayson (who actually IS called Grayson and not Gray-which I don’t particularly care for), does Jackson sound too similar to Grayson since they both end in –son? Grayson and Jackson…? Along those same lines, we will likely have another child at some point and if that child ends up being another boy then are we backed into a corner with two boys already ending in –son? I think three –son’s would be too much, but would it sound odd to have one boy with a different name and two so similar? I wouldn’t be worried about it with a girl, but it’s something I think about if we had another boy.

Maddox is our other finalist and is at the top of my list right now. If I think about the names by themselves, then I probably lean towards Jackson, but I find myself favoring Maddox along with Grayson. If we went with Maddox then the middle name would be Cole. We would use “Dex” as a nickname here.

Other names we have considered:
Connor
Brodie
Gage – one syllable and sounds choppy with Webb
Grady – sounds too similar to Grayson
Harrison and Davis – cousins have already used those names
Landry – bad association for my husband
Logan – I like but hubby has shot down

Thanks for your consideration and if you had any other suggestions, then we would be happy to hear those as well!

If I encountered two brothers named Grayson and Jackson, I would notice the matching -son endings, but not in the way I would notice a Grayson and a Grady, or a Grayson and a Jason. It helps that Grey- and Jack- are such different sounds. It also helps that in everyday life they may be Grayson and Jax.

I think you’re smart to think ahead, though, to what that might mean to you if later you’re naming a third boy. Of course the answer to whether you’d HAVE to name a third child a -son name is no (and I agree with you that three seems like too much—though if you liked the matching, I’d be saying to go for it), but you might feel PRESSURE to do so. If I had to give it my best guess, my guess is that it would feel a little pressurey and weird while you were choosing the name and introducing the baby, but then after that it would be at most something that name hobbyists would notice. No one would think, “Grayson, Jackson, and KEATON? Guess they didn’t want that third child.”

There are several ways to get past the pressure/weirdness. One is to choose another name ending in -n or -on, which is why I used Keaton for the example: even though the names don’t have the same full ending, the ending -on helps to keep the third name from standing out.

Another way is to choose a third surname name. This looks like it will be an easy one to meet: all the names on your list are surname names.

A third way is to aim for a name of roughly the same length: close to the same number of letters, close to the same number of syllables.

None of these three things is something I think is necessary, by the way. They’re mostly self-soothing suggestions: that is, if you DO decide to use Jackson this time, and later you’re expecting a third boy and DO feel backed into a corner (especially if someone carelessly/lightly remarks, “Oh, now you’ll need a third -son name!”), you may these ideas useful for getting yourself out of the corner. It will help even more if you’re calling them Grayson and Jax: Grayson, Jax, and Brodie doesn’t seem odd at all.

Another option is to use Jackson as the middle name: you still get to use it, but it’s not causing any trouble.

I notice both finalists have a strong X sound. I wonder if you would like other names with an X sound. I’d look for X itself, but also for -ks and -cs:

Baxter
Brooks
Ericson
Felix
Lennox
Maksim/Maxim
Maxon/Maxson
Maxton
Paxton
Xavier

Name update!

Hi Swistle!

We welcomed Maddox Cole Webb to our family in October. We love the name we decided on for our little boy and thank all of you for your thoughts and suggestions. We had made the decision that we were okay with the similar ending of Jackson, but Maddox just began to roll off our tongue and we fell in love with it! Now we couldn’t imagine him being anything else!

Hi Swistle,

My husband and I (surname Peters) are expecting our second child, a girl, next week. This little lady will be joining her big brother, Camden James. We have settled on a first name, Zoey, but I am struggling to settle on a middle name and am hoping this letter peaks your interest enough to help. In all likelihood, this will be our last child – but never say never.

We chose Camden’s first name simply because we liked how it sounded and the nickname potential. His middle name, James, is an honor name. He shares this middle name with my brother and nephew.

When we found out we were expecting a girl, I had a very long list of potential names that crossed all sorts of styles – thinking certainly my husband would have warm feelings for a few. Well, Zoey was the lone name he liked and we are both very happy with the selection.

As I mentioned, I am struggling with settling on a middle name. My immediate thought was Grace. Zoey Grace. I like it’s flow, that it is a single syllable, and feminine. The more I thought (and think) about it though – it seems like the “easy” choice. Part of me feels like we should choose another honor name, but I don’t necessarily love any honor names on either side of our family more than I like Grace. Of course, my favorites from the honor options are on my side – Claire (great-grandmother’s middle name) and Marie (sister’s middle name). In a way, I would feel bad selecting another honor name from my side of the family. Also, I am one of four siblings so if we chose Marie, I would have used two of my sibling’s names but not the other.

Honor names to choose from include:
Mildred
Christine
Ann
Joanne
Margaret
Claire
Betty
Ella (I love this as a middle name but I can’t get away from Zoey Ella / Cinderella)
Patricia
Susan
Marie

Am I overthinking this? Is Zoey Grace a perfectly good name? Would it be rude to select another honor name from my side of the family?

Your advice is greatly appreciated.

Thanks a bunch,
Lauren

It’s possible this answer will be too late: the question came in last week, and I draw from the previous week’s questions, and I just registered upon re-reading that the baby was expected “next week”—i.e., THIS week. Well. Let’s go for it anyway. I’ll type fast.

I absolutely don’t think it would be rude to select another honor name from your side of the family, especially if the surname is your husband’s family name.

Nor do I think it would be a problem to use a non-honor name this time, even though you used an honor name last time. I might avoid Claire anyway with a first name that ends with an -ee sound (turns into eclair, not that there is anything wrong with delicious, delicious eclairs). And I see your point about two-out-of-three sibling names, though I do think that would be fine: most people seem to understand that the number of beloved relatives to honor generally exceeds the number of offspring.

Zoey Grace is indeed a perfectly good name. If you love it, I don’t see any reason you shouldn’t choose it.

If you decide you’d rather use an honor name, I love Zoey Joanne from your list: I like the repeating long-O, I think, and the emphasis on the second syllable of Joanne, and the alliteration with her brother’s middle name (totally unimportant, but it pleases me anyway), and that you could call her Zoey Jo or Zo-Jo. I also love Zoey Margaret: there is something very appealing about that combination to me, visually and stylistically. And I like the flow and sound of Zoey Christine.

Name update!

Swistle,

I can’t thank you and your readers enough for your input to my middle name dilemma. After reading your response, I loved with Zoey Joanne – especially after seeing Zo Jo (we sometimes call Camden “Cam Jam” so seeing that nickname possibility made my heart leap). As much as I loved the name, I couldn’t get my husband on board as he preferred Zoey Grace. We welcomed Zoey Grace on June 2nd. She is five weeks old and I am absolutely smitten with the baby (and her name).

Thanks again for your help,
Lauren

Hi Swistle! I’ve been a long time reader of your blog, even before I met my husband, and I’m excited …and a little frustrated… to finally be asking for help of my own!

Our first baby, a girl, is due in November and we’re having a hard time finalizing a name. Well actually I personally wasn’t having a hard time until recently. I was just patiently waiting for my husband to come around to the name Amelia, a name I’ve wanted to name my daughter for quite a while now. His favorite is Clara which I also thought was lovely…it just wasn’t my favorite until lately. I can’t stop thinking about it and I feel like I’m cheating on Amelia!!

Here’s a little back ground info for you. Our last name is Logan with an H and if this baby was a boy he would’ve most likely been Leo Wells or Leo Webb which we still plan on using if we have a boy in the future. Also this baby girl will definitely have the middle name Sue after me and my mom.

His favorites that I vetoed:
Avery
Finley
Harper
Cora

My favorites that he vetoed:
Georgia
Hazel
Edith

Which leaves us with Amelia and Clara. My problems with Amelia are that its a bit of a mouth full to say with no real easy nickname besides Amy, Mia (neither which I love) and Milly (which is ok) and that its getting so popular. My main problem with Clara is really that I don’t like the name Claire and they sound so similar! To me, Amelia seems sassy and spunky and Clara seems sweet and soft spoken…so help! You pick! Or is there any other name that would bring our two very different styles together that I’m missing? Any input would be much appreciated! Thank you!
Heather

P.S. I think there’s maybe another aspect to these 2 names that you could help me with. Why is it that Amelia seems like the bolder more unique name when it’s #15 according to the SSA and Clara seems like the safer more familiar name when it’s #108. It may have something to do with Amelia only being #50 in Texas where I live but that’s still fairly high or maybe that Claire is so familiar. I feel like that may be part of my problem deciding between the two names. Amelia seems like the more fun option yet it is more popular?!

Let’s start with the p.s., because I wonder about that sort of thing a lot: why do our subjective impressions of names vary SO MUCH? There can be so many factors.

One possibility is that when you started liking the name Amelia, it was a lot less common. Here’s what it’s been up to recently:

(screen shot from SSA.gov)

The #15 ranking is pretty new; maybe you started liking it when it was still in the 100s or 200s. And it can take awhile for popularity impressions to catch up: there can be tens of thousands of babies with a name, but it’s not as noticeable until they hit daycare/school and you start seeing class lists. “Huh, a Joey, two Chloes, a Zoe, and a Zoey.” “A Kayla, a Mikayla, two Kyles, a Kylie, and a Kyler.” “A Madelyn, a Madison, an Adelyn, an Addison, a Maddie, a Maddox, and an Addy.” “An Ella, an Eleanor, an Isabella, an Isabelle, a Bella, an Annabelle, and an Elizabeth-called-Ellie.”

I think too that seeing names mentioned frequently on naming sites can make them feel more common, even if only a small percentage of the parents who list or research the name actually end up using the name. Clara has come up in popularity quite quickly in recent years, and likely gets talked about more than the steadier Amelia. Here’s the chart for Clara:

(screen shot from SSA.gov)

Popularity isn’t the only factor that makes a name seem safer/bolder; personal associations contribute heavily too. Amelia Earhart might make the name seem bold and daring to you, while Amelia Bedelia might give it an appealing storybook whimsy, and Amelia Pond might give it fiery Scottish redhead adventurousness. And maybe you have only general pioneer-girl/early-American-history feelings associated with Clara, plus maybe knowing a couple of Claires, plus maybe the mom-name association with Claire Huxtable.

And location is huge, as you’ve noticed with the different ranking of the name Amelia in your state. One of our kids has a name we never, never, never encounter, even though it’s been in the Top 50 for ages; it’s much more popular in other regions, apparently. Another of our kids has a name that never hit the Top 10 nationally, but did get there in our state; we run into people with his name all the time. If we moved, we might find those situations swapped.

Now on to the main question. I think you put the issue very well: that you almost feel as if switching to the name Clara would be cheating on the name Amelia. That makes it sound to me as if you would actually prefer to use the name Clara. Do you think that’s true, or do you still prefer Amelia but find yourself very willing to let Clara be in second place?

One thing working in your favor is that it’s likely you still have over half the pregnancy to make the decision. It can feel weird to change from one favorite name to a new favorite (especially if it means switching to the other parent’s favorite), and giving it some time may help. If you find you do prefer Clara at this point but need help disengaging from the name Amelia, you could tell yourself that it might be that Amelia is your SECOND daughter’s name, and that’s why it’s not feeling quite right for this daughter. Perhaps this baby girl is going to be the sweet and soft-spoken one, and your next daughter is going to be the sassy firecracker.

Another issue, if you plan more children, is that I find Amelia and Leo a little difficult to say together. They’re not an impossible combination by any means, and in fact I think they’re a nice pairing, but the lee-ah and lee-oh can get tangled for me. With time, I think I would be more likely to say Ameel-ya, and that would reduce the issue.

Another reason I might grab Clara while you have the chance is that the rest of your husband’s list (except for Cora, which would likely be crossed off if you used Clara) is made up of modern unisex names. Use Clara now, I say, and set the style you prefer.

Another reason to use Clara is that the two of you agree on it. Am I getting the correct impression that he has not yet come around to the name Amelia? You could give him more time on that, while also possibly getting a little leverage for next time by giving him his first choice this time.

I don’t find the name Amelia to be a mouthful; it seems like a normal-length name to me, and no need for a nickname. While I’ve heard of people using Amy and Mia, those nicknames don’t come naturally for me. If you’d like a nickname, my guess is that some will occur on their own.

It may help you clarify your feelings if you can take the popularity rankings out of it. Imagine that the two names are the same popularity (I wouldn’t be surprised to see them at around the same rankings soon). Does that affect how you feel?

I like both names very much, and think either would be a great choice. If you decide to look for more options, I suggest the category of Antique Charm from The Baby Name Wizard. Amelia and Clara and Cora and Georgia and Hazel are all in that category, along with:

Abigail
Adeline
Annabel
Eliza
Emmaline
Lydia
Nora
Violet

and so on. I’d also add Meredith: I wonder if your husband might like it better than Edith.

Name update!

Hi Swistle! First of all, thank you so much for posting our name dilemma. In the end my husband came around and we couldn’t imagine naming our daughter anything other than Amelia Sue! The name totally fits the spunky firecracker I knew she would be…she even surprised us 3 weeks early! You and your readers provided a lot of insight especially the nickname suggestion of Ammie. We call her that and Ams all the time! Thanks again!

Hi Swistle,

Thanks so much for reading my question. I have a baby due at the end of the year, and my best friend has a baby due about three months before me. We finally sat down and talked baby names and it turns out we had decided on the same boy name! She knows that she is having a boy and will be naming him Jasper.

We have a son named Zaiden William Steward. For our next boy named we had decided on Jasper Grey Steward. Our girl name is Maizy Tangerine Steward. (Many people react to Maizy Tangerine with a slow “Oh… that’s interesting.” But we love it and think it’s adorable, so we’re sticking with it.)

So, obviously I would feel weird about naming my next baby the same name as my friend, even though I know we thought of it independently of each other.

The other boy names that were list are:

Thatcher Flynn Steward – My partner likes Thatcher but doesn’t love it, and had previously considered Flynn as a baby name with an ex, so that name is out.

Kiran Sky Steward – Decided against Kiran because there are no good nicknames and also, it sounds an awful lot like “Karen”.

So I guess we have a list of boy names we like, for either first or middle names, but really just aren’t finding a name that feels as perfect as Jasper Grey.

The full list of names we like:

Thatcher (I love it, partner is kind of meh about it)
Flynn (association with an ex)
Sky
Greyson
Grey
Jasper (best friend conflict)
Liam (partner has a bad association with this one, no good nickname as it is already a nickname on it’s own. I don’t like Lee or Li for a boy.)
Lupin (not my favorite, partner loves it. I also don’t like the nickname Lu or Lou for a boy.)
Jackson
Jax
Avery (no good nickname).

So we tend to like unusual names that aren’t too crazy (okay, except for the Tangerine part). I think nicknames are somewhat inevitable so I’d like to make sure the most natural nickname is one we like.

We call our son Zai (pronounced Zay) most of the time and we really like this.

I guess my question is: do you have any suggestions for the “perfect” boy name – a first and middle name together? I am sad to let go of Jasper Grey, and I think I’d feel a lot better about it if there was something else I loved.

Thanks for your help!

I notice that both Zaiden/Zai and Maizy have a long-A sound and a Z sound. If you’re planning more than two children, and so might save Maizy for a future girl even if you have a boy this time, probably we want to avoid adding more A/Z-sound names to the list. But if you’re planning to stop after two, I might look at A/Z names in the hopes of finding another boy name you like.

I might have suggested Hayes, but it doesn’t seem quite right with the surname: I hear “Hey, Steward.”

Hazen works better with the surname, but has even more sounds in common with Zaiden: the long-A, the Z, AND the -en.

James has the long-A and Z sounds, but may be too common for your tastes, and with the surname makes me think of James Stewart—not a negative association, but fairly strong.

Isaac might be a nice fit, similar without being too similar: it has the Z sound but without a Z, and a long-I instead of a long-A. But it’s a different style than Zaiden and Maizy. Same with Isaiah.

Zavier, maybe, similar in sound to Avery. Zaiden and Zavier are so visually similar, though, and no good nickname.

Well, you get the idea. But from your list, I don’t get the feeling the Z/A route is what you’re looking for, so let’s now look at other options:

Archer
Baxter
Brogan
Callan
Corbin
Cormac
Declan
Felix
Finn
Finian
Fletcher
Griffin
Hatcher
Keaton
Keegan
Lennox
Maddox
Meyer
Paxton
Tiernan

(I just reinvented the name Jason. I was looking at Jasper and Jackson, and I thought of Jase/Jace. Then I thought, “But the ending S-sound blends with the surname; maybe extend Jace to Jacen?”)

I recommend shifting the focus of your search: instead of trying to find another name as perfect as Jasper Grey, I suggest looking for the name you like best of all the names that are left to choose from. It’s a subtle shift, but may help avoid the discouragement of holding each name up to Jasper Grey and having each name fall short.

I wonder, though, if you want to reconsider your decision not to use the name. WOULD it be too weird if you and your friend both had sons named Jasper? What if you had met after naming your babies? In that situation, it would likely be a fun connection rather than a weird problem. Since you both know that you chose the name independently, and since you love the name and consider it perfect, could you decide to go with it? In the long run, it may not be as big an issue as it seems now.

I’m inclined to pursue Grey/Greyson from your list, or maybe Grady. It lets you keep part of your original choice, and it’s good with Zaiden and a possible future Maizy. Do you mind that Grey rhymes with Zai? I generally don’t mind if nicknames rhyme or cause other minor trouble, even though I DO mind if given names do so.

I wonder if you might like to use Greyson Jasper. This lets you use Jasper where it won’t seem like duplicating your friend’s choice. Zaiden William and Greyson Jasper; Zai and Grey. It might be a pro or a con that a possible future Maizy would make three children with rhyming first syllables: Zai, Grey, and Mai.

Name update!

Hi Swistle!

We were so grateful that you read and posted our letter. We loved reading all of your suggestions, as well as the replies from other readers.

My letter had stated that we needed a boy name, but that we’d already decided on Maizy Tangerine for a girl. Well, as we got closer and closer to the due date, Maizy Tangerine just didn’t feel right anymore (although we still love it). We completely started over with girl names and considered names like:

Emmerson Rae
Wilder Rae
Elliotte Grace
Sawyer Grace
Piper Anne
and many others.

In the end, our baby turned out to be a little girl and we named her Frankie Mae Wilder Steward. Frankie Mae is her first name and Wilder is her middle name.

She is the sweetest, cuddliest, happiest baby ever and her name suits her perfectly.

Thanks for your help, even though we didn’t end up needing a boy name after all! We love reading your posts!

Hi-

We are expecting a baby girl late May/early June and are having so much trouble deciding on a name. She has two brothers, Carter Justin and Holden Everett. Our last name rhymes with cow but starts with the S sound. As you can tell by our sons’ names, we like uncommon names that are somewhat familiar as surnames with simple spelling. We may or may not have a fourth child.

For our baby, I prefer a three syllable name with a single syllable middle name but hubby likes a two-syllable first name. It can’t end with an S sound because then the first-last name will not flow well. We would like something feminine and preferably not unisex. Names we’ve considered so far are Alaina (because I love the nn Lainie), Cassidy and Delia. Hubby doesn’t like Alaina because it sounds too Eastern European and there are too many different ways to spell this name. The other two names don’t quite feel right. I also like Sydney but will probably rule it out because it’s unisex. Other names I like but are too unconventional for the hubby are Everly, Avalon, Aria.

Any suggestions you have would be very much appreciated!

Thank you!
A&A

Because you like Alaina/Lainie and Delia, I suggest Delaney. Three syllables, doesn’t end with S. Currently used almost exclusively for girls in the United States: the Social Security Administration reports 1,220 new baby girls and 8 new baby boys given the name in 2014. It’s a surname name like Carter and Holden. You’d still have the nickname Lainie, or Del if you prefer.

Name update!

Thank you so much for your input. Hubby and I decided we wanted her nn to be Ellie so it was down to Eleanor versus Elena. I feel like Eleanor is very classy so we ended up with Eleanor Rose.

Please help! My husband and I are having a terrible time agreeing on a name for our first baby, a boy. We spent three long years trying to conceive, but now we are two months from the due date and cannot agree on a name. My husband is Michael John and I am Kimberly Eileen. Our last name is German and sounds like “Stall key” My husband prefers older, more traditional names such as John, Charles, James, and Theodore. He also like some military inspired names such as Sherman and Truman. John is his favorite name and my least favorite (although I would be ok with John as a middle name). Of his list, I like Charles and Theodore the best. I mostly prefer more modern names (but would rather not name our son something too popular). I have suggested Miles, Grant, Hayes, and Elijah (nickname Eli). I would also be just fine with a Michael John Jr. We hope to have another baby in the future. I adore the names Emeline or Adeline as girl names while my husband prefers Abigail. Do you have any suggestions for boy names that will blend both our naming styles? Thank you so much.

Name update!

Our precious baby boy was born June 15, 2015.  While we had settled on two names (Elijah Michael and Charles Michael), we didn’t officially name our little man until about 12 hours after his birth.  I had been pretty confident that we would name him Elijah, but after seeing him, there was no doubt…  Charles Michael has made our lives complete.  Thank you for all your help!   – Kimberly and Michael

Hello!

I’m pregnant with our third (and final!) baby girl at the end of August. We have 2 girls, sister Brier Rhys, almost 4, & sister Kinley Elyse, almost 2 (and no, we didn’t mean for their middle names to rhyme!).

As you can tell we like names that are unique but not “out there”. My name is Heather & I hated growing up with a plethora of other Heather’s in the 80’s. My husband’s name is Lowell (a great unique name that we have only heard a couple of times on other people) but he didn’t really think too much about being the only Lowell, except having to constantly re-pronounce his name (“you mean Joel?”).

Brier is an old name, over 100 years, that means Heather in French & the second I heard it (in a movie surprisingly enough!) & found out it meant my name, it was perfect! Rhys has no special meaning, we just liked it & since it was a toss up at birth between Brier or Rhys we used it as a middle name.

Kinley is the name of a female rock climber & Elyse we just liked too. My husband & I love climbing & being outdoors hiking, canoeing, camping, etc so I looked for inspiration from strong outdoor females for her name & we settled on this one.

The Dilemma: I feel SO much pressure to name this girl something unique as well. Upon finding out it’s a girl, the main comment I get is “I can’t wait to hear what you name her! I love your daughters’ names! They’re so unique!”. So begins the search for something unique, but not out there…For a middle name I think it’ll be Rose or Rosanna (my grandmother’s name, she went by Rose but Rosanna’s her full name) but again, we really haven’t thought about it, I’m stressing out enough about a first name!

Here are my contenders for our little bundle in order of favorite to least (a word about my husband: he has never really offered up his opinions on names with the girls, he either just rejects a name or says he’ll consider a name on my list :p )

Thea (or Theia) – LOVE this name. Since both our girls have an “i” and “e” in their name, I’m unsure if I should continue the trend & spell it Theia instead…kind of have a thing for Greek names that are feminine sounding like Elena, Helena, Katerina, etc but i love the flow of this one best & it seems less common
Bronte (Brawn-Tay) – LOVE, LOVE this name! It appears to be a common girls name in Australia, but all the forums in North America have a greater percentage of people who dislike this name and think it’s masculine. If only I lived in Australia :)
Ellis – I love this name too! Unfortunately my daughter has a girl in her preschool class with this name so not sure how that would come across. I’ve also noticed on forums that it’s considered a male name, but since I’ve only heard it on a girl it sounds feminine & pretty to me
Jordyn – remember the movie Cocktail with Tom Cruise?? That was the name of his love interest that I had chosen for a girl name since high school! Brier was supposed to be Jordyn, then Kinley was, but since we’ve started having kids it’s become so popular that I can’t bring myself to do it!

Names that haven’t really made the cut but are open for debate (hubby is indifferent and hasn’t seemed too enthused about any of these, some he hates so they’re off the list):

Bronwyn – I personally think bronte sounds more feminine than this & I like Bronte much better, but this seems to be the name people are recommending to those who are considering Bronte saying it’s more feminine, but i don’t agree
Sloane – loved it a few years ago, now not too sure, but keeping it on the list…was on the list for baby #1 & #2
Blake – like it but not sure if it’s too masculine and I don’t think it flows well with our last name
Felicity – not sure if it’s not unique enough (and feels like a mouthful when you say Brier, Kinley & Felicity together). Was on the list for baby #1 & #2
Quinn – becoming too popular
Maelle (My-Elle)
Alyx (Alex)
Haven
Darcy – husband hates it
Adrianna – prefer Adrienne but was told it sounds like a boy
Elena – husband didn’t like
Katerina – husband didn’t like
Grae (because I loved Graysen for a boy & thought for sure it was our time to use it!)

My husband offered up Vanessa with our last girl, but it’s too 80’s for me. The only Vanessa’s I know are ones I grew up with and it doesn’t flow with our girls’ names.

If this had been a boy he would have been Graysen Charles (Charles was my father & grandfather’s name), other names considered were Lincoln (nn. Linc), Dominic (nn. Dom), Hudson, Kesler, Dax, Beau.

What are your thoughts on the top 4 names (Thea – or Theia, Bronte, Ellis, Jordyn)? Or are there any names I haven’t considered? I can’t believe I’m having such a hard time this time around! Maybe because I know it’s our last! Any input is accepted openly & graciously!

Thanks in advance!

Heather

I can definitely see how it adds pressure to have people looking forward to finding out what wonderful name you will choose this time around. Try to dismiss that issue from your mind, as much as you’re able to. What they are really saying is that they love your naming style. So if you choose a name that is your style (which you will do automatically by choosing a name you love), then the people who love your style will be pleased with this name as well.

And this is a place too where I would apply the “What is the worst that could happen?” coping thought: if you “fail” to choose a name that makes the eager crowds as happy as they felt with the first two names, they will register that disappointment for perhaps two full seconds. Some people do get very excited to learn a baby’s name (I am in that group), but they don’t deep-down CARE very much. If you chose, say, Charlotte, even the biggest and most excited fan of your daughters’ names would think, “Huh. That’s not what I would have expected,” and that would be the end of it: no crushing disappointment, no lingering depression, no writing “WHY?? WHY??” in a diary late that night. Give your shoulders a little shimmy and let’s find a name that is Your Style.

You asked for our impressions of your top four finalists, so let’s start with those.

1. Thea/Theia. This fits your preferences very nicely: not in the Top 1000, yet definitely not too out-there; easy to spell and pronounce. I definitely wouldn’t change to the harder to pronounce/spell Theia just to get the same two vowels as in your first two daughters’ names: it’s not something that catches my attention or seems like a trend. If it HAD caught my attention, reversing the two vowels would feel like a digression from the pattern.

2. Bronte. Currently very unusual in the United States: only 5 new baby girls were given the name in 2013 (it’s not in the data base at all for boys). It doesn’t seem overly masculine to me, I think because my association with the Brontë sisters is so strong. On the other hand, it reminds me of names such as Dante and Devonte and LeBron, which are more often used for boys. Interestingly, the Oxford Dictionary of First Names mentions that the use of Bronte as a first name seems to have originated with the 1990 movie Green Card. I didn’t remember that the female lead’s name was Brontë, but I did like that movie; I wonder if that adds to my feeling that it works perfectly well for a girl. One hesitation I have about the name is that it shares a Br- with Brier.

3. Ellis. In the United States, Ellis is currently a unisex name used more often for boys: the Social Security Administration reports 225 new baby girls and 496 new baby boys given the name in 2013. For perspective, the name Brier/Briar is similarly unisex: 119 new baby girls and 182 new baby boys named Brier/Briar in 2013. (Compare to the name Blake: 535 new baby girls and 5,601 new baby boys in 2013.) If you’re friendly with the mother of the Ellis in your daughter’s class, you could ask her if she’s had any trouble with that. Or Ellison/Ellisyn is another possibility: it’s currently used more often for girls.

4. Jordyn. The name Jordan/Jordyn feels past its peak to me: the more popular spelling Jordan was in the Top 100 for girls from 1989 (the year after the movie Cocktail came out) until 2007, and since then has been dropping steadily. I think I would add it to the list of middle name possibilities.

I wonder if you would like the name Laken/Lakin. It’s similar in sound to Blake, but used more often for girls (163 new baby girls and 95 new baby boys in 2013). It’s very unusual (not currently in the Top 1000), but doesn’t feel too out-there. Laken G3dd3rt; Brier, Kinley, and Laken.

Or Larkin. Larkin G3dd3rt; Brier, Kinley, and Larkin.

Or Gracen, the spelling of Graysen used more often for girls. Gracen G3dd3rt; Brier, Kinley, and Gracen.

Blake, Lincoln, Dominic, and Jordyn made me wonder if you’d like the sounds of Locklyn. Locklyn G3dd3rt; Brier, Kinley, and Locklyn.

Sloane and Beau make me wonder if you’d like names with similar sounds such as Rowan, Harlowe, Marlowe, Logan, Lola.

Maybe Emery. Emery G3dd3rt; Brier, Kinley, and Emery.

Would your husband like Darby any better than Darcy? Darby G3dd3rt; Brier, Kinley, and Darby.

Or Delancey? Delancey G3dd3rt; Brier, Kinley, and Delancey.

Hollis is similar to Ellis, but closer to fully unisex (98 new baby girls and 125 new baby boys in 2013). Hollis G3dd3rt; Brier, Kinley, and Hollis.

Or I wonder if you’d like Olive? Olive G3dd3rt; Brier, Kinley, and Olive.

Name update!

Thank you so much everyone for your wonderful ideas!
Our baby girl was born 5 days overdue in a quick 3 1/2 hour labour from start to finish!

Ultimately it was between Thea (thee-a) and Sloane and while I love both, in the end we chose to call her Thea Maelle.

My oldest has been calling her “baby Thea” since I was 24 weeks pregnant when I had asked her which name she would choose for her little sister if she could, so I don’t know how she would have felt if she came to the hospital to meet a Sloane! (And hubby vetoed Rose as a middle name but we agreed on Maelle (my-elle) ;)

What solidified Thea as her name was that we thought how special it would be for her oldest sister to grow up knowing she helped pick her name! And the meaning “gift of God” is perfect since she’s our rainbow baby!

Thank you Swistle and everyone for your absolutely wonderful advice and contributions,  there were so many great names! And in the end,  Thea Maelle couldn’t be more perfect! 5 weeks later and I’m still loving the name of my little bundle!

Hi Swistle!

My husband and I would love your help and advice in choosing a name for our first baby, a boy, due at the end of April.

We both agree we’d like two middle names, one of them being a family middle name of his, John. Our surname rhymes with Hadleigh.

His favourite name is Lennox William John, and mine is Leo Alexander John. Other names we’ve considered are Flynn, Baxter, Louie and Cohen, and James as an alternative middle name (I prefer James to John but my husband wants to keep the tradition of using John).

We really prefer either Lennox or Leo to the other names we’ve considered but both have positives and negatives.

Lennox – we like Lenny for short but cannot stand Len. Also wondered if this name is a bit too feminine?

Leo – worried this is now too popular but like that it cannot be shortened any further.

We plan to have at least one more baby in future, and I feel that Leo would suit other names better than Lennox, but I do like the Lennox is slightly more original.

So we’re stuck and cannot choose between the two! Any advice around using either of those two or other names you suggest greatly appreciated.

Thank you in advance!

The Social Security Administration reports than in 2013 the name Leo was used for 9 girls and 3,473 boys. The name Lennox was used for 153 girls and 351 boys. So the name Leo is about ten times as common as the name Lennox, and the name Lennox is currently a unisex name used more often for boys.

I generally advise parents not to use a name if they hate the nickname. It can be possible to avoid a nickname if everyone involved wants to avoid it, but of course the child himself might decide to use it—particularly if you call him Lenny when he’s younger.

The name Leo is more popular than Lennox, but is still not what I’d consider off-puttingly popular: as of 2013, it wasn’t yet in the Top 100 (though I wouldn’t be surprised to see it there when the 2014 data comes out in a few weeks). I’d suggest looking up the popularity of the other names you might consider for a future child and seeing if their popularity is more like that of Lennox, or more like that of Leo.

Looking at the other names you mention, I think Lennox goes better with the style of Baxter and Cohen, and Leo goes better with the style of Louie; I think both names go well with the style of Flynn. I’m also going to link here to an earlier post we did on the name Cohen, in the hopes of avoiding revisiting the issue in this comments section: Baby Naming Issue: Cohen.

My own vote would go to Leo. It would be nice if the deal could be sweetened by letting your husband have his preferred middle names: he’s already getting his way with the name John, so if he could have William too, that would give the name-selection a nice balance.

If you decide Leo is just too popular for you to want to use it, perhaps Cleo would work for a possible future girl.

I might also suggest Milo and Hugo and Nico, if you haven’t already considered them. All are less common than Leo: Milo was at #314 in 2013, Hugo was at #438, and Nico was at #484.

I’d also suggest Felix (#296).

Or Cole (#114).

Or Malcolm (#444).

Or Brooks (#301).

Or Lawson (#511).

Or Clark (#456).

Name update!

Hi Swistle,

Well our wee boy is nearly 4 months old and I have been meaning to write in and thank you for your input and let you know the name we chose after you and your readers gave us some great advice to consider. It was Leo vs Lennox with 2 middles names, one being John – a family name of my husband’s. About half of your readers who commented said go with Leo and the other half with Lennox, so we read further into why they suggested what they did.

A few people came up with the potential sing-songy “lee” sounds of Leo with the surname Hadleigh – a good point which we hadn’t actually considered. And then there was the thought of nicknames for Lennox, some of which we weren’t entirely happy with. In the end we saw past the sing-songy “lee” sounds and decided on the sweet and simple Leo.

Your other suggestions for names were great; in fact Felix was also on our list but I forgot to mention that in my original post.

As per your advice, I let my husband choose the middle name as Leo was my favorite option. He came up with Hunter which was not on our list and not my favorite name but I’ve come around and quite like it now. So we have a Leo Hunter John and he suits his name just perfectly :-)

Thank you and your readers again for your help!