Hi Swistle,
My husband and I are expecting our baby boy in December. My first name is Alleigh and my husbands name is Cole and our last name is Strattman. We have planned on using my husbands middle name Shepard since before we got pregnant but now that we’re nearing our due date were both second guessing our choice. I think mostly because we can’t find a middle name that doesn’t sound biblical next to Shepard. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but not for us. We plan on using Shep as a nickname.
We don’t really have many other names since we thought Shep was our name but some middle names we have tossed around are Oliver, Wolfe,or Occy. The O names are throwing us because of the initials being S.O.S. Weird? We came up with Wolf because it’s the Gaelic translation for my pasted brothers name Whalen.
I need some reassurance that were making the right choice with first name and some suggestions for middle names. Please help!

One of the issues I run into with occupational names is that they do seem to make middle names tricky. For example, I like the name Miller. But many of the middle names I pair it with make it sound as if Miller is the occupation and the middle name is the first name: e.g., Miller John sounds like he should be friends with Farmer James and Baker Joseph. The spelling Shepard should seem more like a surname than an occupation, and it does help, but I still get the Farmer James effect.

I think older, traditional names tend to have more of this effect (and also more of the biblical effect), and modern names tend to have less. For example, Shepard Braden Strattman seems neither biblical nor “Farmer James” to me. Shepard Luke sounds biblical; Shepard Bryce does not.

Another possibility is to use a surname as the middle name. Some people don’t like three surnames in a row, but I don’t mind it, especially if the surnames are also sometimes used as first names. Do you have any nice surnames in the family? Perhaps your maiden name, or your mother’s maiden name? I’m picturing something like Shepard Harris Strattman, or Shepard Phillips Strattman.

Another possibility is to reverse your husband’s first and middle: Shepard Cole Strattman doesn’t give me either a biblical or Farmer James issue. But perhaps that would end up being confusing, or perhaps that is just a little too much of the dad’s name.

I do think I’d avoid the O. initial for the middle. I don’t think it would be impossible to have the initials S.O.S., but if you don’t have a strong reason to use an O. name, I think it would be better to start by seeing if you can find a non-O. name you like.

I would avoid Wolfe with Shepard. The sheep/shepherd/wolf thing starts to seem like a theme.

I assume we have an autocorrect issue going on with “pasted brothers,” but I think the name Whalen has great potential. I wouldn’t translate it into Gaelic; I’d just use Whalen. Shepard Whalen Strattman.

If you’re both having doubts about the first-name choice, I don’t see anything wrong with spending some time exploring other possibilities: saying, “Okay, Shepard is still our frontrunner, but let’s see if we can find other candidates to consider.” Maybe you’ll find other names you like just as much, and Shepard can be the middle name. Or maybe when you look for other options, you will find yourselves increasingly certain that the name Shepard is your definite first choice.

I wouldn’t discard it only because of the trouble finding a middle name; if worst came to worst, you could even skip a middle name altogether. Even if you ended up choosing something biblical or Farmer-Jamesy, the middle name is not likely to come up very often; mostly he will just be Shepard/Shep Strattman.

Name update!

I am happy to introduce Shepard Jack Strattman. Who we call Shep. Your guidance and readers advice was very helpful. Even though we didn’t go with our original middle name idea and love the short more common name of Jack as a middle name behind Shepard.
Thank you Swistle!

Dear Swistle,

My husband and I are due with our first child this coming March. Our last name is pronounced like “Wasp-ick” without the “p.” For a boy, we have decided on the name Lucas Christopher. We are having more trouble coming up with a girl name. We would definitely like to use the name Estelle as the middle name to honor my grandmother. We have chosen a list of potential first names but none seem quite right. Our current list is as follows:

Natalie
Claire
Anna
Sarah
Leigh

We would appreciate any suggestions or thoughts that you have.

Thank you,
Heather

I was not planning to comment on boy names, since it sounds as if you’ve chosen one. But when I was trying out the name Lucas Was(p)ick with sibling names, I noticed I found it very difficult to say. I think it’s because the -cas of Lucas and the -sic of the surname are mirrored sounds. I thought perhaps I wouldn’t mention it: these things vary from person to person, and if it’s not hard for you to say, then it’s not an issue. But we once had it happen that a letter-writer had tried out the name only with the middle name acting as a buffer between the first and last names, and hadn’t noticed an issue with the first/last combination, and ever since then I’ve been a little jumpy about it.

Now, girl names. I was surprised and pleased to see Sarah and Leigh on your list. I think my eye skips over them too easily in baby name books.

I think all five of the names on your list are good with the brother name Lucas. The only potential issue that catches my eye is the matching initials of Lucas and Leigh: is that something you would want to avoid? is it something that, if your first two children were named Lucas and Leigh, would make you feel pressured to use an L name for a third child?

All five of the names on the list sound about equally good to me with the middle name Estelle. The only potential issue that catches my eye on this one is initials: with _EW, it’s easy to spell words. The words here are innocuous (NEW, SEW), but it’s the sort of thing I like to think about ahead of time. Or I might not suggest first names starting with E, J, or P.

I wonder if you would like the name Naomi? I think it was just the letters of the other names on the list that made me think of it, but I really like it. Naomi Estelle.

Leah is an option that reminds me of Anna, Sarah, and Leigh. Leah Estelle.

Or Celia. Celia Estelle.

Lydia is similar in sound to Natalie. Lydia Estelle.

I don’t know if Sabrina is getting too far off the path, but I do love it. Sabrina Estelle.

Laura is another name I think can get skipped over to easily. Laura Estelle.

Maria, too. Maria Estelle.

Rose is common as a middle name but less familiar as a first. Rose Estelle.

I feel like I’m ready to see the name Lynn again as a full name rather than a suffix. Lynn Estelle.

Name update:

We had a little girl that we named Lydia Estelle.  We think it’s perfect for her.  Thank you for the ideas!

Hi Swistle,

I’m pregnant and due soon with a little girl. We have a 2 year old daughter named Georgia Grace. I kept my last name but the girls will have my husband’s last name which is pronounced Strey-za.

Like many of your readers, I feel I already used my one and only baby name and now I’m stuck! We had a very hard time getting pregnant with my first daughter so I feel it’s a miracle that I’m pregnant again. This will definitely be our last child (no more $$ for IVF!) My daughter was named after her paternal grandfather (George) and my grandmother (Grace). I really love her name because I think it’s spunky and also classic Americana. We call her Georgie or Georgita so I like that there are good nickname options.

I ideally would love for this little girl to have an honor name but am struggling to come up with something I love….

Honor names I’m working with include:

Rose
Louisa (really love but don’t think it works with the last name)
Frances
Susanna
Pearl
Isabel (way too popular, right?)
Virginia (I absolutely love this but can’t have two kids with state names…)
Sam (We both really love Sam but don’t love Samantha. Is just Sam too weird for a girl?)

Other names that are on the list:

Violet
Scarlett (Husband likes, I don’t)
Magnolia
Matilda

Any suggestions or advice you could provide would be wonderful.

Thanks so much,
Jennifer

I love the name Louisa, too, and I agree it’s difficult with the surname. I wonder if you would like Eloise? It has similar sounds, but I think it works better with the surname. Eloise Strayza; Georgia and Eloise. But perhaps that’s too much of a change to the honor name.

I would not use just-Sam for a girl after using Georgia. If you’d used, say, Charlie for your first girl, I would think Sam was a good choice for the second girl. Or if you wanted to do Georgia/Samantha called George/Sam, I’d think that was a nice fit. But Sam on its own seems like a style clash with a sister named Georgia.

Isabel does catch my eye for its popularity, especially with a less-common choice such as Georgia. But I think if you love it, you can definitely use it. Popularity is not what it was in the days of Jennifer. (I was about to go into more detail here, then noticed that YOU are a Jennifer, so you know exactly what I mean. In short, Jennifer in its day was about 4 times as popular as the most popular name today.)

From your list of honor names, my three top choices with Georgia are Rose, Frances, and Susanna. The only thing that keeps me from throwing my full support behind Rose is that I find it a little difficult to say with the surname. Rose Strayza. I like the repeating Z sound, but not the way the Z-sound in Rose combines with the S-sound of Strayza. Eloise Strayza has a similar issue, but the three-syllable name lessens the effect for me.

I think my own favorite would be Frances. Georgia and Frances has such an appealing level of vintage sass. But Georgia and Susanna is right on its heels.

I would be tempted to see if I could find another repeating-initial name, just for fun. For example, I might go for Frances Fay, or Frances Faith, or Frances Fern.

But probably this urge would be trumped by the urge to use more honor names. Frances Pearl is wonderful. Or Isabel would be appealingly unexpected as a middle name. And I don’t mind the way Rose runs into Strayza if Rose is the middle name.

From the list of non-honor names, my top choice is Matilda. So many good nicknames. I know a Mathilda who goes by Hildy, and it’s grown on me so much it tempts me to spell the name with the H to add that option.

Name update!

Dear Swistle and readers: I can’t thank you enough for all your thoughtful responses. We were very surprised with the enthusiasm for Frances! After mulling it over for a few months, it began to sound like a good fit to us as well. Frances Rose was born this week and we are all enamored with the newest member of our family. Thanks again for all the assistance with this stressful naming decision!!  Here’s a picture of our dear little lady.

Best,
Jennifer

Hi Swistle!

I’ve been reading your blog for a long time as we’ve named our three daughters, and I’m finally writing in as we struggle with baby #4 due in February!

My husband and I have no problem agreeing on girls names. We both love unique, old-fashioned but recognizable names. Meaning also plays a significant role.

Our three girls are: Ser@fina Audrey, Be@trice Lucy and Ingr!d M@gnolia Jane. Our last name sounds like Handlin. If this little one is a girl, her name will most likely be Eliza or Marigold.

For all three kids, we’ve had an impossibly difficult time coming up with boy name options and have never settled on any “finalists”. Our biggest issue is that our all-time favorite boy name, the one we both love and would choose in a heartbeat, is Harvey. I feel like we’ve gone through every boy name in the book, and we just don’t love any compared to Harvey.

The biggest hesitation is that I’m not sure how I feel about alliterative names and would love your feedback. A part of me doesn’t mind them, but I feel that there is some unspoken rule that if one does choose an alliterative name, it should at least have a different number of syllables and a different “beginning sound”. Harvey obviously doesn’t comply with these rules with the two-syllable repeat and beginning with an Ha-.

What do you think? The few people we have run it across have told me it sounds like a DC comic book character. I’m not sure whether this is good or bad? Part of me thinks a boy may like that type of association, but what about as he grows up?

Are there unspoken rules to alliterative naming? Is Harvey Handlin too cutesy/comical, or is it usable?

Other names we like but don’t love are:

Theodore
Wilfred
Sebastian
Wesley

Help! Thank you!!!

Use Harvey. Use Harvey. USE HARVEY.

Okay, I will try not to put on too much pressure. It is YOUR decision. What’s important is what YOU like, not what I like. But here are my reasons:

1. I love the name Harvey. …I mean, YOU love the name Harvey. You both love it. It is your all-time favorite. You don’t love any name as much as you love the name Harvey.

2. There are no rules about alliteration; there are only preferences. Some people like it, and some people don’t. It is the same with syllables: some people prefer them to match, and some people prefer them not to. I have occasionally heard “rules” such as that first and last names have to have different numbers of syllables, or even that all three names must have different numbers, but I am going to take a strong stand and say that that is silly. Yes. I said it. SILLY. I think that’s a matter of someone having a strong preference and going around stating it as a fact, and other people hearing those preferences-stated-as-facts and getting nervous.

We have a perfect example of someone using a very similar alliteration/syllable pattern: the actor Harry Hamlin. I skimmed a short list of celebrities to find a few more: Amy Adams (though the two A’s are pronounced differently), Farrah Fawcett, Janet Jackson, Kelly Clarkson, Lindsay Lohan, Ryan Reynolds. Some people even go further: Joseph (Joe) Jonas, for example, where the entire first syllable repeats. Or Vince Vaughn, whose parents mixed up the syllables when they named him Vincent, but he deliberately uses a 1-1 syllable name—another situation people frequently cite as something they think they have to avoid.

My own opinion is that it has to be taken on a name-by-name basis, but that in many cases the effect is pleasing and memorable. Another person might have the opposite feeling and wish to avoid it—but you’d be likely to look at THEIR choices and think, “Oh dear, no.”

Harvey Handlin doesn’t sound cutesy OR comical to me. I’m surprised that not just one but several people have independently associated it with comic book characters–and not just comic book characters in general, but specifically DC comic book characters. I wondered if this meant there was a specific character I wasn’t familiar with that they were all thinking of; I looked through a list and didn’t see an unusual number of alliterative names. Or I think it is possible that in your distress, it FEELS as if it’s several when it is not as many as that, or that you’ve asked them about that issue specifically and they’ve agreed, or that it’s several among many rather than all of the several you’ve asked. Peter Parker is, after all, Marvel Comics.

Name update!

Well, after all the hubbub over our boys name, we ended up with a fourth precious daughter :)
Matilda Esther was born on Monday 2/22.

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my email!

Hi Swistle!

We are expecting our fourth child, a boy, the first week in October. We currently have two girls (Teresa Brigid and Nora Merian) and one boy (Finn Ricker). My name is Tara and my husband is Marcus, goes by Marc. Our last name is Mulligan but with an i instead of a u. This is most likely our last child.

We are having the hardest time naming this baby! I’ve never made it this far in a pregnancy without a clear finalist before. I have many boy names that I love but each of them has some issue holding me back from using them.

I’m hoping you can either help me realize some of my hang ups are not a big deal or help us brainstorm some great names that we might not have thought of yet.

Middle name will be an honor name, preferably Paul, Marcus or David.

Here are our favorites:

Cormac – I love this name but worry that he will spend his life with people hearing his name as Cor MacMulligan. My husband doesn’t think this is a big deal. Am I over thinking this one? Is this an issue that will bug him his whole life or just be a minor inconvenience? Possibly I can get over this issue but would like some outside opinions on it.

Eamon – We both like this one but my husband is a bit worried that it will be difficult for people to pronounce. It feels easily pronounceable to me, but that might just be because I grew up knowing how to say it.

Cashel – We both like this one, but I don’t love the nickname Cash.

Nolan – Is this too similar to Nora?

Clive – This is a recent addition to the list. I like that it is one syllable like Finn.

Hugh – Does this one “fit” with the names of our other children?

Can you help us out? Any other suggestions that might be “the one”?

Thank you so much!

I will give my opinions on the various issues, and then the commenters can do the same. (Commenters: feel free to comment on just one or some of the issues, if you prefer.)

1. Cormac Mulligan / Cor MacMulligan. I think this one is fine. “Cor” isn’t a familiar name on its own; I think you’ll easily adjust to putting a tiny pause between the two names; and there are no upsetting or distressing results if the names DO blend.

I notice that Cormac shares a major sound with Nora. I think this would be all right (this is the sort of thing that I think matters less as the sibling group gets larger), but it’s the sort of thing I like to think about ahead of time.

2. Difficulty of pronouncing Eamon. I know how to say it, but I had to learn it. I remember practicing it, I think while reading a Maeve Binchy novel. I think that this is a good era to be born with a potentially-difficult-to-pronounce name: people are more accustomed to needing to do so.

One slight concern is that both Finn and Eamon are a little rhymey with your surname. My thought process went like this: “Eamon is a little rhymey with the surname. Oh, but Finn is too, so they’re okay with that. But TWO names that are a little rhymey may draw more attention to it.”

3. Cashel / Cash. This is also a good era to have a name you don’t want nicknamed. However, that involves the cooperation of the child himself. So here is where I draw my own line, with nicknames: Do I actively dislike the nickname, so that I wince at the thought of the child growing up and deciding to use it? Then the name is probably not a good fit. Do I instead just prefer the nickname not be used, but I feel que sera sera at the thought of it ending up being what my child is called? Then it may be well worth the risk.

I also take into account the likelihood of the particular nickname being used. That is, if the name is Isabella, I think Izzy and Bella are more likely than if the parent is concerned about Zabby or Ella. With Cashel/Cash, the nickname Cash feels instinctive and almost irresistibly cool, like Dash for Dashiell; I immediately picture all his high school friends calling him that.

And finally, I take into account (as far as it is possible to do so) the idea that my own feelings may change. We’ve had just enough parents here saying things such as “I NEVER wanted her called Izzy, but she is TOTALLY an Izzy!” that it has drawn my attention to this interesting phenomenon.

4. Nolan / Nora. Visually, the two names seem quite similar to me. When I say them aloud, they don’t seem too similar at all: the only similarity is that they begin with the same letter and have two syllables. I think this is a small issue, definitely worth dismissing if you are able to do so and if the name Nolan is the right one.

Nolan, like Eamon and Finn, is a little rhymey with the surname.

6. Hugh. I don’t see any reason it doesn’t fit with the others. I also like Hugo.

5. Clive. I deliberately switched #5 and #6, because Clive is the name that would make me wonder if it were a good fit with the others. Teresa, Nora, and Finn are all familiar names; Clive is much less familiar to me.

The name Theresa/Teresa is not currently common (both spellings appear to be on the verge of leaving the Social Security Administration’s Top 1000). But because it was so widely used in recent years (Theresa was Top 100 from 1941 until 1977; Teresa was Top 100 from 1948 until 1981), it’s a name most people are familiar with. Nora is currently popular, at #49 in 2014 (and that doesn’t take into account the Eleanors going by Nora). Finn is currently rising in popularity, moving from #835 in 2000 to #234 in 2015 (again, this doesn’t take into account the boys using it as a nickname for Finnegan, Finley, Phineas, Griffin, etc.).

But the name Clive hasn’t been in the Top 1000 at all, not since 1900 when the online Social Security records begin. It was given to only 77 new baby boys in 2014. For comparison, 1,567 new baby boys were named Finn that same year, and 4,708 new baby girls were named Nora.

To be fair, the name Hugh is also uncommon. But 251 new baby boys were given the name in 2014, and it’s been in the Top 1000 continuously since the Social Security records start in 1900. Its highest popularity in the data base was in 1900, when it was at #88, which makes me think it’s ready for a comeback soon. And it helps that I happen to know a child named Hugh; I admit that before meeting him, I would have thought of it as a more surprising choice.

And Clive, though not currently very common, is RISING in usage; here are the number of baby boys given the name, looking at every 5 years starting in 1964:

1964: 17
1969: 7
1974: 10
1979: 13
1984: 18
1989: 11
1994: 16
1999: 17
2004: 20
2009: 56
2014: 77

I think you have a lot of good candidates to choose from, so I’m reluctant to add to the list. But here are the names I thought of while writing the post:

Casey
Corbin (a little rhymey with the surname and with Finn)
Declan (a little rhymey with surname)
Emmett
Hugo
Ian (a little rhymey with surname)
Lyle
Niall
Reid
Wesley

Name update:

Hi Swistle,

Thank you so much for your response and all the reader responses, they were so helpful! At the last minute my husband changed his mind about the name Conor, which I’ve loved since I was young and still wanted to use despite the popularity it has seen. I thought he had totally vetoed it, so didn’t include it in my list of names when I emailed you. Conor Davin was born October 3, 2015. A few days later we found out he had a Congenital Heart Defect and he had heart surgery at 5 days old, but is doing so awesome now. Life has finally calmed down enough for me to remember to send a naming update!

Dear Swistle,

We are currently expecting our fourth child. We have two girls and a boy, Kamryn Alexis, Logan Michael and Kensington Bree. This fourth baby is coming as a huge surprise but after the initial shock it is definitely a welcomed surprise. I have a bit of an odd name question and was told it might be a good idea to come here because you have dealt with all kinds of questions. So here we go…..

My naming journey for this baby starts with Kensington (Kensie). When I was pregnant with her, just a year ago, (her and the baby will only be about 16 months apart) I had a really hard time naming her. As most pregnant woman, my hormones had me all kinds of crazy. Since after Kamryn was born we had said if we had another girl we would name her Eliot. It has always been a favorite girl name of ours. Then we had Logan and 2 years after he was born we found out we were expecting a girl. As you could expect we immediately decided she would be Eliot. Finally!! Our Eliot! But then I started to get second thoughts. One day she would be Eliot and the next Kensington and a week later I said we’d call her Finley. It went on and on right up until the day she was born. While I was in labor we just kind of said “Let’s call her Eliot!” So we did. The whole time I was in the hospital with her I just kept looking at her and thinking…this isn’t right. But again, my hormones were all over the place so I just chalked it up to that. We brought her home as Eliot and just 2 days later called my mom crying. I just KNEW we had given her the “wrong name”. Yeah, looking back now I realize how out of my mind I was. But everyone around me, my husband, our parents, our siblings and our friends were incredibly supportive. We almost immediately started calling her Kensington and the name just became her. Our other kids were never confused by it, it just felt right. Then when Eliot was just 2 weeks old we legally changed her name to Kensington. They say hindsight is 20/20 but looking back now I really truly wish we had never changed her name. It sits with me as if we had our chance to use a name we love and we blew it. I blew it. I let my emotions get the best of me and we did the unthinkable….we changed our baby’s name.

Now we are expecting another baby and as we talk names I can’t help but want to use Eliot. I just don’t know if that is allowed. This really is uncharted territory. People don’t usually change their baby’s name so I don’t know what the rule is. I do know I would never EVER change this baby’s name. It was a long process and living with the regret I have today shows me I could never do it again. We really like Eliot Mackenna a lot and love how it sounds with our other kids names. We’ve also thought about using the spelling “Elliette” as well. But again, is that okay to use? Will people think it’s not right or just straight up weird that we used it (again)? Or does this mean we get another chance to use the name we love and didn’t end up using before?

We would love to hear some insight on this. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. We so greatly appreciate it!

Here’s what I think. If you use the name Eliot for this baby, I think some people are going to have a flicker of reaction to that. Some will think it’s weird, some will think it’s amusing, some will think it’s interesting/thought-provoking. But I don’t think anyone will deep-down care very much, so you should certainly go with what you most want to do. As you say, this is not familiar territory for most people; this means most people won’t have any particular opinions about how it “should” be done. My own reaction falls into the camp of finding it interesting and thought-provoking, and to me it seems like getting another chance to use the name you love and didn’t end up using before.

In fact, I think using Eliot for this baby strengthens your decision to change Kensington’s name. It reinforces the idea that there was nothing wrong with the NAME Eliot, except that it didn’t fit THAT baby. That is, THAT baby WASN’T Eliot; THIS baby is Eliot. It makes for a good naming story: We accidentally used your name too early! We thought Kensington was you! But she wasn’t! We realized it right away, and fixed it—whew!

When discussing it with others, that’s the spin I suggest using. I wouldn’t make it into a story about how much you regretted changing Kensington’s name; instead, I’d emphasize the idea that THAT baby wasn’t an Eliot, she was a KENSINGTON, and THIS baby turned out to be Eliot. As much as possible, I’d suggest you laugh it off as something charming rather than something emotionally unstable: Names are HARD for us, ha ha! But it makes a great story, doesn’t it, ha ha! And NOW we have our Eliot, hooray!

I also feel the impulse to reassure you about that earlier decision. The way you describe it, it doesn’t sound at all crazy to me: you weren’t certain about the name before the baby was born, and then you felt the chosen name was the wrong one, so you changed it, and the new name immediately felt right. The part that confuses me is that even though it sounds like it was the right decision, you’re describing it afterward as an unthinkable, crazy, and much-regretted decision. Changing a baby’s name doesn’t seem unthinkable to me at all; it’s unusual, yes, but not awful or shocking. I would go so far as to say that if you decide on Eliot for this baby, and in the hospital it doesn’t seem right, you should allow yourself the option to change your mind again. Or, perhaps the experience with Kensington’s name will help you feel more certain of your choice this time.

Name update!

Hi Swistle,

I wanted to update you on our baby girls name. She’s been here for 3 weeks now. We decided to take majority of your readers advice and spend a good 24 hours with her before deciding on her name. As much as we absolutely loved the name Eliot it turned out that Eliot just was not her name. Yes, a bummer but I am happy we didn’t use it just because of our attachment to the name. So, after much back and forth we decided to name her Tenley James and we couldn’t possibly love her name more. It suits her perfectly!

Thank you Swistle and readers for your help! You were all awesome!

Here is a picture of Tenley:

xoxo, Kristen

Dear Swistle,

I’m Kristy Mitchell, and I’m currently pregnant with my first child. I’m taking a different path than most, as I’m 35+ and single, and this pregnancy is the result of many (intentional) tries, eventually needing medical assistance using donor sperm. I’m due around Thanksgiving, and am waiting to find out the sex of the baby at delivery.

It’s early, but I love names, and am enjoying thinking about what names might be great for this child. If it’s a girl my current favorites are Matilda, Magdalene, Greta, Hazel and Calliope, likely paired with the middle name Louise, a family name. I haven’t had trouble with this list but I’m stumped for ideas for a baby boy – and bounce wildly between things that seem great one day, and then sound awful the next.

I like Oscar, Barnaby, Julian, Calvin and Ezra, but they don’t seem to hit me the same way day to day. Benjamin, Samuel, Owen and Cedric also keep coming up, but something about them keeps them from coming to the top of the list. The current front runners for a middle name are Linwood or Samuel, family names.

I have two firm requirements, though they may seem a bit odd. Mitchell seems like it’s as common a first name as it is a last name around here, so I’d like to avoid a name that is “a last name first” because the idea of a kid trying to correct someone about which name is his first/last name seems like it’d be a pain. And, as someone who sees a lot of names in my work, I sometimes fear I’ll mix it up and say the wrong name first. (Ross Mitchell or Mitchell Ross?) The second is that I’d like it to be googleable, meaning that I want to look it up and see that someone else already has the name. I know that I like being able to be somewhat “hidden” in the world of social media and so I’d like to avoid something so unique that he’d be the only one. (That there already is a Barnaby Mitchell was a pleasant surprise!) (I’d got with Barnaby in a heartbeat, but I hate the nickname Barney, so it’s not as ideal as I want it to be.)

Do you or your readers have any thoughts for additional names to add to my list?
Thank you!!!

Normally I am pretty set on the idea that if the parent hates the nickname for a name, the name may not be a good choice: nicknames are easier to avoid than they used to be, but the child might still choose to use it. I think fairly often of my friend Liz, whose parents named her Elizabeth so they could call her Beth; they hated (and still hate) the nickname Liz, and she feels 100% like a Liz and 0% like an Elizabeth or a Beth. It’s a problem.

But I don’t think of Barney as a nickname for Barnaby. Perhaps it IS. Perhaps I will look it up right now and see that Barney in fact originates as a nickname for Barnaby. But I’d never connected the two names. I think of them as having sounds in common, but being as separate as Harvey and Harry, or as Isabella and Isla, or Belinda and Bea, or Georgiana and Gena, or Randolph and Ralph, or Archibald and Arnold.

Well. Indeed, looking it up in The Oxford Dictionary of First Names, I see Barney listed as a pet name of Barnaby/Barnabus, so it IS just that I personally didn’t connect them, and not that they’re not connected. This is like the other day when Hank Green realized for the first time that Barbie’s full name was Barbara. This is an upsetting turn of events. I’m not sure what to advise. I suppose for now, we will move on to other choices.

I think it’s possible that one or more of the names on your list WILL rise to the top as the months go by. But here are the names that the names on your list make me think of:

Alistair
Edmund
Elliot
Emmett
Everett
Felix
Franklin
Frederick
George
Harvey
Henry
Hugo
Ian
Isaac
Joel
Karl
Leo
Louis
Malcolm
Milo
Nolan
Oliver
Sebastian
Simon
Theodore
Wesley

Some of these may be too last-name, but it was hard to find the line (Calvin is also a surname, for example), so when in doubt, I included it.

Name update!

My daughter arrived a month ago, and though I’d spent the last few weeks of my pregnancy referring to the baby (to myself) as a Greta or Gus, it was clear that she wasn’t a Greta. 36h of trying names on, looking through your site and others, and fending off lots of hospital staff and well meaning friends who wanted to know what her name was,  I settled on Maggie Louise – which fits her perfectly.

If you’d told me that it would have entailed all of that (the process, the time) I would have denied it and laughed,  but my indecision surprised me. It was worth it though – I don’t regret keeping my selections to myself and picking a name that wasn’t on my original list.

Thank you for your advice and for all of the comments – they were invaluable!

Dear Swistle,

We are currently expecting our third, a little girl, who is due at the End of August. We already have two boys, Wayne Morrison is six and Jerry Wyatt is four years old. We are very happy with our name choices. We like that both Wayne and Jerry are familiar, but so rare that we never encounter them in their age group. Only occasionally someones grandfather or great-grandfather will go by these names.

We liked the name Mary for both of our kids if they had been girls, but now it is out because it is too similar to Jerry. We also liked the name Ella back then, but now realize that it is hugely popular at the moment. We like old-fashioned names, and apparently everybody else does, too! So I think we were very lucky with our boys’ names, but it makes choosing a girl’s name very difficult.

Names my husband doesn’t like, but I do, are Mona, Adele and Trudy. He suggested Brooke, which feels too modern for my taste. If this baby were a boy, we propbably would have named him Edwin, or maybe Morgan. Last name is Cooper-with-an-H. My name is Anna, and my husband’s name is Nicholas.

Please help! We are running out of ideas.

Anna

Brooke definitely feels like a style misfit to me with Wayne and Jerry. Your choices of Mona and Trudy seem right-on (I’m particularly keen on Trudy), but of course that doesn’t help if your husband doesn’t like those names. More possibilities:

Belinda
Bess
Bonnie
Colleen
Diane
Eileen
Ellen
Ginny
Helen
Jean
Joan
Judith
June
Kay
Lois
Mabel
Marcy
Marian
Milly
Myra
Nancy
Peggy
Sally
Susan

I’m especially fond of Sally from this list. Wayne, Jerry, and Sally.

Name update!

Hi Swistle,

Thanks again for all the great ideas.
We ended up narrowing it down to Betty, Agnes, Martha, Robin and Sally, which we all loved. We took a few hours to rethink it all, looking at her little face, and ended up naming her Martha Shirley. We are all in love with her and her name, and Wayne and Jerry are very excited to be big brothers.

Thank you!

Hi Swistle

I wrote to you over 4 years ago when we had trouble naming my son, who is now called Drew. I’m pregnant with a 2nd boy, and debating the name Tatum. It’s my maiden name, and it sums up all the happiness and love of my parents. But Tatum has been used with girls, and I’m concerned about having a boy named something that is assumed to now be female. I’m particular that my children have names that are clearly gender-specific when printed on their resume.

We would call him Tate, so does that change things?

Sincerely,
Emma Bronson-with-a-J

If your goal is a clearly-gender-specific name, then Tatum does not meet that goal. According to the Social Security Administration, in 2014 the name Tatum was used for 828 new baby girls and 462 new baby boys: the name is currently unisex, used more often for girls.

That same year, the name Tate was used for 27 new baby girls and 796 new baby boys, so that ought to improve the boy-guess rate if you use it as his nickname—but it’s impossible to know how many of the Tatums are going by Tate, and generally full names are used on resumes and class lists.

Right now you have two conflicting preferences: one is to use a gender-specific name, and the other is to use your maiden name. You can only meet one of those two preferences. Which one weighs more, if you put them on a balance scale? Which one gives you more happiness to think about?

It may be that it will work better for your family to use Tatum as a middle name. You could even call him Tatum/Tate, but then on the resume it would be, for example, “Patrick Tatum Bronson”: completely gender-specific, and he can tell them later to call him Tate.

[Readers: note from the 4-years-ago post that Drew is a nickname, not the given name. The given name is gender-specific.]

Name update!

Hi Swistle,

I’m delayed in responding to our baby name. I apologize, because we’ve been in the war zone with this newborn. I am proud to report we were surprised to find out our little future baby boy was a girl on a 2nd ultrasound. Little Benjamin Tatum surprised us and needed a gender specific name and a whole new wardrobe. So we fought and struggled with how to incorporate Tatum into a feminine name that suits.

Anne Tatum is her name.  She was born December 15, and has continued to remind us of how difficult newborns can be! She is an angel when she’s sleeping.  So far we like her good ole southern double name.  Via text she is AT, but Anne Tatum suits her well. Unless she wants to find her name preprinted on a souvenir.  I am so thankful for the comments and support of you and your readers.

Love,
Brandon, Emma, big brother Drew and Anne Tatum