Hi Swistle!

I have always loved thinking of baby names and have always been the person analyzing other people’s choices. Usually, I say, that’s so plain-Jane, so normal/overused/(s)he’ll be the 5th kid in class with that name. Now that I’m expecting for the first time and I actually have to come with up with real names, I’m finding it very difficult. To make it difficult further, my husband and I are expecting twins sometime in February 2016 and we aren’t finding out the gender, meaning we need 4 solid name choices that we love – two boys, two girls.

Our last name is long and mispronounced/misspelled 99.9% of the time – it’s French, though we have mostly Irish heritage. It’s pronounced Dee-Rose-Shures. My first name is Eileen and my husband is Kyle.

So far, for one boy, we love the name Sutton. We’ll probably use James as a middle name to honor my grandfather. Sutton James, I really like this name. I know people are using it for girls now, but I prefer it on a boy. I just hope there aren’t other Sutton’s in his class, but I think it’s getting more and more popular.

Other boy names on my list are:
Keegan (husband likes)
Boden (husband likes)
Brecken (husband doesn’t like)

Girl’s names are hard for me. If I had to pick two boys names today, I could. I don’t feel like I could for girls though.

If I had to pick one right now, I’d pick Delaney. My husband likes this name, too. We’d probably name her Delaney Jane, Jane is my mother’s middle name. Delaney Jane.

Other girl names on my list are:
Henley (my maiden name starts with Henn – I like that Henley shares the beginning of that, but I’ve been getting negative reactions from some, and positive reactions from others. My husband likes it but I’m not sold 100% on it)
Arden
Emerson (but too popular?)
Madigan (again, husband and I both like it but I’ve seen lots of bad reviews on it – “it sounds like MAD AGAIN” “it sounds ugly” “it means little dog”)

I feel all over the place with my girl names, but what it comes down to is I prefer stronger names for my girl(s), not girly-girl names.

Then there’s the issue of matching a boy name with a girl name if we have a boy and a girl. I feel overwhelmed! Help!

Thank you!

Name update!

Hi Swistle!

I wrote you a while back for advice on naming our gender-Unknown twins and got some great feedback from your readers. I ended up giving birth at 37 weeks to two healthy fraternal twin boys!

Naming them was quite easy as we had decided we really had our two top boy names that we absolutely loved. If they had been girls I don’t think we would have had such an easy time naming them.

We named our baby A, Sutt0n James and our baby B, Keeg@n Patrick (Patrick is my husband’s middle name and they share the same initials!)

We are so happy with their names and we think they fit these boys perfectly. I had a really rough pregnancy and swore off any other pregnancies throughout but the second our boys were born I knew I wanted to have more! I’ve already been thinking about names to go with these boys in the future, hopefully someday in the future I’ll be writing back to you to name their sibling!!

Thanks!

Hi Swistle

I love your blog!
We are expecting our first baby in February and it would be great if you could help us. We had a boy’s name picked out all along, but of course it’s a little girl. We are both from Germany but live in Australia. I’m Franziska but mostly go by Franzi, my husband’s name is André and our last name is Schemmel.
For a boy we had Charles (Charlie) Eric Arthur. Charlie because we love the name, Eric after my late brother in law and Arthur after my great-grandpa. It could have been so easy. For girls we have almost nothing.

When we talked about names years ago we decided on Catherine (Katie) if we would ever have a little girl, but now that I’m actually pregnant it just doesn’t feel right. I never thought it would be that hard to pick a name and all the pregnancy hormones aren’t helping either.

André is dead set on Katie and doesn’t like anything else. It’s a nightmare.

Names I suggested but he vetoed are: Elizabeth, Amelia, Madeline, Savannah, Felicity, Alice, Josephine and Emily. I would love a little Lizzy or Annie or Fle, but no. It’s not that I don’t like Katie, she just doesn’t feel like a Katie or Catherine. But then I also thought she is a boy, so what do I know? J

Should we just go with Katie and be done with it? It’s not bad, he likes it and there is no other name that I really love as much as he loves Katie.

My second problem are middle names. Fortunately he is happy with whatever I pick. I’ve always loved Isla. That’s the only other name he would consider as a first name, but I’m quite hesitant as no one in Germany can pronounce it right, it’s so short and there are no cute nicknames. My grandma’s name is Gisela and I really want to honour her, but she doesn’t really like her name. I don’t like Giselle, so that’s out. One time I looked at her name and realised Isla is in there. If you cross out the G and E you have Isla! Is it too farfetched? Would it still honour my grandma?
For the second middle name I like Charlotte as it’s my other grandma’s middle name. I don’t want to use it as a first name, as we still want to use Charles if we have a boy in the future, but I love it as a middle name. Do Isla and Charlotte go together? Does it really matter if I love the names?
It would be amazing if you could help us!!!

Thank you so much

Franzi

The first thing that needs to happen, it seems to me, is that your husband needs to release his death grip on the name Katie. The baby may or may not end up being named/nicknamed Katie, but insisting that it’s the only name he likes isn’t helping with the process—especially if his filter for all other names is “Do I like this name better than I like my top favorite name?,” resulting in automatic vetoes for all non-Katie names. In short: no, I don’t think you should name the baby a name you think of as “not bad” and don’t feel is right, just because your husband is being so insistent, especially when there is still quite a bit of time left in the pregnancy to think about names. I do think you should keep it in mind as an option, as you’re clearly already doing.

I’d suggest seeing if you can hit his reset button with an exercise we’ll call “Yes, But If She COULDN’T Be Named Katie.” Say to him that you realize it’s his favorite name, and that you’re not ruling it out at this point (this phrasing would, I hope, remind him that you certainly MAY rule it out), but that it doesn’t feel right to you, and that you’d like to use the next few months to explore other options to see if there’s something you both love. Ask him to pretend that the name Katie could not be used for some reason. Perhaps it would help him to pretend the two of you already had a daughter named Katie, and now you were naming a second daughter. Start again with the lists of names you like, and/or have him come up with new names he likes, WITHOUT the complication of comparing every name to the name Katie.

Since you’re planning more children, another possibility is that this baby is not Katie, but the next baby would be. That is, perhaps the reason it feels wrong to you is that THIS baby is Elizabeth/Lizzy, and the NEXT baby is Catherine/Katie.

If all of this fails and he remains stubborn about using Katie, I think one strong possibility for compromise is the double first name. For example, naming her Anna Katherine, and he can call her Katie and you can call her Annie. Or Eliza Kate, or Emily Kate, or any other combination that sounds good to you both and gives you both the nicknames that feel right to you. I don’t see any problem with parents calling a child by different nicknames; I think the most likely is that the child will choose a favorite as she gets older, or that one nickname will naturally take the lead as the one that fits her better.

Another possibility is making a deal: he gets to name this baby Catherine/Katie, but this means you get the final say on the next daughter’s name. This involves a bit of a gamble, but it may come to the point where the baby is about to be born and it is time to cut losses and maximize gains.

To me, Isla is not a honor name for Gisela, any more than Anika would be an honor name for Franziska. But different families have very different feelings about honor names, and so your grandmother may very well be honored by it—and you may be thinking, “But…I WOULD be honored by an Anika!” It sounds as if your grandmother is still among us; could you ask her what names would make her feel honored? It would spoil the surprise, but may be worth it. If you and she both consider it an honor name, then it works as an honor name.

I think that in most cases, a person who doesn’t really like her own name would nevertheless feel the full impact of the honor if the name were to be used as a baby’s middle name. I think it is unlikely that your grandmother would think, “Oh! Too bad I don’t really like my name.” Many people feel only neutral at best about their own names, and yet would still love to be honored in that way.

I do think Isla Charlotte is a nice combination, whether it’s first/middle or middle/middle. I’m more hesitant about the combination Isla Schemmel if Isla were to be the first name, but I think it works well enough; Charlotte Schemmel is a lot of SH and L, but it’s rare for the middle name and surname to be said together.

Name update:

Hi Swistle

Thank you so much for your help! After reading your post and all the responses I talked to my husband and we set the name Catherine/Katie aside for the time being. I didn’t think it would be that easy but how can you argue with an name expert? ;) It was so much fun looking for new names together.  In the end we decided on Amara Isla (I know you said it’s not really an honor name for Gisela but I told my grandma about it and she loved the idea).
Her name was perfect and I loved everything about it until I held her in my arms. At first I didn’t even want to write you because I felt so silly but when I saw her for the first time I knew she is a little Katie. Catherine Isla Schemmel was born February 18th and we love her to pieces ;)

Thank you so much for all your help!
Cheers, Franzi

Hi there Swistle!

I’m a huge fan of your blog and I find myself in a situation where your help and guidance would be amazing!

I’m due with my second child in May 2016, very early on to have a name issue but I’ll explain. My first child is Isabella Pamela, our last name is Gaulton. To most of my family and myself her name is perfect. So when I announced I was pregnant again to them all the response I got from nearly everyone was “congrats! So happy for you! You’ll never find another name as perfect as ‘Isabella'”. Now nothing I see seems to measure up.

Pamela is a honor name in my family and similarly this child (gender will be a surprise) will have an honour middle name as well. It will be Arlene for a girl or Ryan for a boy.

My husband and I love ultra feminine names for girls and masculine names for boys, also our last name is slightly harsh sounding so flow is a concern of ours

Please help us come up with something. I feel panicked whenever I think of picking a name because we want this baby to have a name that is as beloved as our daughter’s is.

Thank you for your time!

Therese

One reason the name Isabella may seem incomparable is that it is now connected to your much-loved little girl. No other name will measure up, until it too is connected to a much-loved child. I suggest abandoning the quest to find a name you like as much as the name Isabella, and switching the focus to finding the name you love best of all the remaining, not-Isabella names.

If possible (and I know it may not be possible), see if you can disregard the concept of whether everyone else will think the name is as good as Isabella’s. It is odd that so many people responded as they did to the news of your pregnancy. Either your circle is unusually interested in baby names (and has an unhelpful way of expressing it), or it is possible that stress is making it feel as the percentage was larger than it was.

In any event, people generally care less about other people’s children’s names than they may seem to. If, for example, the worst happens and you choose a name that others feel really isn’t as good as the name Isabella, no one will lose sleep over it. Even I (and I think it is clear I care quite a bit about baby names, and do think they’re important) don’t DEEP-DOWN care what other people name their children. I have a brief reaction to the name, appreciative or not, and then I don’t give it much thought after that. Maybe a wince from time to time at a particularly disliked one, or a fresh surge of appreciation for a particularly liked one, but not much more than that. And it sounds as if your circle is already prepared to be disappointed in the name, which could take off some of the pressure.

The way you spelled the word “honour” makes me wonder if you are in the United States or not. In the U.S., the name Isabella has been in the Top 10 for baby girls for more than a decade now, and was the #1 most popular name for girls in 2009 and 2010. If you live in an area where the name is much less common, this advice will be useless; but what I’d suggest is looking for similarly popular names. The upside of a popular name is that it is POPULAR: many people love it. If your primary concern is finding another name that many people will love, then the popular names are the way to go. For a U.S. baby, I’d be suggesting names such as:

Amelia
Arianna
Madeleine
Olivia
Sophia
Victoria

I’d consider the name Olivia nearly perfect: similarly popular, same number of syllables, very feminine. Olivia Gaulton; Olivia Arlene Gaulton; Isabella and Olivia.

Less common but still in the style I’d suggest:

Adelaide
Anastasia
Annalise
Aubrianna
Carolina
Clarissa
Emmeline
Evelina
Francesca
Genevieve
Josephine
Julianna
Lilianna
Natalia
Sabrina

I skipped many -ella names (including Elianna, which I’m still wavering on), because of not wanting to duplicate the ending of Isabella, and this made me feel even more inclined toward names ending with -anna: it’s similarly feminine, but different enough for a sister name. I was uncertain about Lilianna: too many shared sounds, or not? I’m not sure. It passed my “Would I raise my eyebrows if I heard of siblings with these names?” test (“No”), so I kept it in. Maybe I should have kept Elianna, too, I don’t know.

With the middle initial A and the surname initial G, I’d keep alert to initials that may spell things. For example, if you’re not open to a different middle name, I’d say Victoria and Francesca are right out. I would also avoid GAG, HAG, NAG, RAG, and SAG. I feel less strongly about BAG, JAG, LAG, MAG, TAG, and WAG, but would still want to consider the issue before settling on a final choice.

I don’t feel as if I have enough information about your boy-name style to make a good list. If you like masculine, popular names, I might suggest names such as Jacob and William. If you like longer names for boys as well as for girls, I might suggest Benjamin, Jonathan, Alexander. If you like gentleman names, I might suggest Everett and Theodore and Oliver.

Name update:

Good Morning!

I wrote you asking for help with naming a sibling for my daughter Isabella Pamela. You gave me so many wonderful suggestions, as did the lovely commenters of your blog. My husband and I decided to name a girl Olivia Arlene…then we had a beautiful baby boy!

Anderson Ryan came into the world June 5th,2016 weighing in at 10lbs 13oz and just over 22 inches long.

Thank you so much for your help and I continue to read your blog- it’s bad for baby fever ☺️

Proud mommy,
Therese

Hi, Swistle.

I’m the second wife to a wonderful guy who brought two great kids, a boy and a girl, to our family. I’m due in May with our third child. Our family’s last name is P0ll@rd. Both children have four-letter first names, they are D@ne Ev@n and Nol@ Vie (pronounced “Vee”).

We would like to continue the four letter name pattern, if possible. We like names that are uncommon and interesting (subjective, I know). If this baby is a boy, we are currently loving Joss, a name we chose before we were even pregnant. We are satisfied and happy with that option for a boy. For reference, I also love Nash and and we both also like Jace, Jude and Zaid.

Girls’ names are harder because most of the names we tend to love are not four letters long. Names we both like but I wouldn’t say we love are Dare (I wouldn’t use it as a first name; it’s probably too much), Esme and Vada. I also like Zara, Ever and Beau.

The middle name of either a boy or girl will be an honor name from my family. We have the following names to choose from: George, James, Cindy, Lou and Lucine. I’m 100% okay using Lou, George and James in the middle name spot for either a boy or a girl. I’m also okay with playing around with those names (turning George into Georgia, for example), as long as there is a clear tie to the honor name.

We would really appreciate you and your readers’ help in coming up with more girls names to choose from. As you can probably see, we are happy to go outside of traditional names to find the right one. I really think this baby is a girl (like, really, REALLY think she’s a girl), and it’s driving me crazy not to even have one name we feel like is a real contender.

Thank you all so much for your help!

P.S. I promise you a baby name update with a photo. I’m a photographer, so I’ll make it a really good picture!

My inclination is to suggest ditching the four-letter idea. It’s ruling out such an enormous number of names.

On the other hand, I see the appeal. Well. My first suggestion, then, is to make a list of all the names you love, without regard to number of letters. Then, use that list to help you brainstorm four-letter options.

For example, let’s say you told me your list of non-four-letter names included Rosemary. We could use those sounds and letters to find suggestions such as Rose, Rosa, Mary or Mari or Mara, maybe Rory or Ruby or Zara or Zora. But I might also see it as a plant name and suggest Fern or Iris, or it might make me think of old-fashioned names and I’d suggest Opal or June or Lois or Avis.

Another option is to link this name with the other names in a different way. For example, if the baby is a girl, perhaps she could share an initial with her sister. Perhaps your family’s themes could be “four-letter boy names, and girl names starting with N.”

If you can’t find any four-letter names you like, maybe it would work to have a longer name with a four-letter nickname.

At some point in this process (around the point where you start to feel panicky or despairing, or when you’re down to the final few weeks), even though I see the appeal of finding a name with four letters, I would suggest you consider if the cost is worth it. For example, if you would LOVE to name a daughter Marigold, and that name would make you feel happy in every way, is it worth giving up that name to meet the preference for a number of letters? The way I’m phrasing that question may imply that I think the answer should be “No,” but I am intending it to be neutral: IS it worth it to you? If so, then I think you will be happy paying that fee: you will put the names you prefer on the counter, and use them to pay for a four-letter name you like less but find satisfying for its number of letters. (People choosing honor names over names of their own style make a similar purchase.) If not, asking the question may make it clear to you that the cost is too high.

Or it might be that the only four-letter names you like are ones that don’t meet your preference for an unusual/interesting name. Again, it’s a question of value: is that worth it to you, to give up that preference in order to find a name with four letters?

There is also the question of future children. After just two children, there isn’t yet a pattern to break: the matching number of letters can be considered a coincidence. After a third child, there’s a clearer pattern, and I’d be exponentially more reluctant to break it.

All right, now the fun part: finding some four-letter names to think about!

Anya
Aria
Ayla
Bryn
Cora
Faye
Fern
Grey
Ione
Isla
June
Kaye
Kaya
Kyla
Lane
Lark
Lois
Luca
Luna
Mila
Mina
Remi
Rory
Ruby
Ruth
Thea
Zora

Name update!

Hi Swistle! It’s almost 2am and I’m awake in my hospital bed with our brand new baby. I wanted to get you a name update ASAP!

Not long after I wrote, we found out that our new baby would definitively be a boy! We welcomed our sweet son, Joss Wilder George P0ll@rd yesterday.

Joss was a name we chose for a boy before we were ever pregnant. We loved that Joss seemed like it could be the name of any number of very different, but all very interesting, type of people. Wilder was a name I found while pregnant that caught my interest. Plus, this little boy was a furious ball of activity in utero 24-7, so it seemed very fitting and a fun detail to share with him later about his earliest personality trait. George honors my grandfather, one of the greatest men I’ve known.

We love his name so much! Thank you to your readers for all of their wonderful ideas and feedback! I loved reading through all of the suggestions and comments. You’re all extremely generous with your ideas and support. xo

Hi Swistle,

We are expecting our third daughter in December. Our last name is Loop. It creates some challenges in choosing a first name. We want to stick with something more traditional and familiar since our last name is so unique. We don’t want anything that adds to the quirkiness of our last name.

Our girls names are Emma Rielle and Audrey Corinne. We love the idea of finding another two syllable first name.

We think we have settled on Brigitte for a middle name. It’s French (my family background) like our daughters middle names and has a double consonant as well.

We’d also love to find a name that begins with a vowel like the other girls but want the baby to have her own unique initial. I love Isla but it sounds too strange with our last name….Isla Loop. We don’t like the plant reference of Ivy or the rigidity of Ingrid or Irene. We can’t seem to find anything that begins with an O or U that we like.

Other names we have considered that don’t start with a vowel are Norah, Hannah and Charlotte. We’ve even considered one syllable names such as Kate, Claire and Beth. Isabella is also beautiful but we dislike the nick names Bella and Izzy.

None of them seem like her name and I’m beginning to worry we won’t have one when she arrives.

We’d love to hear your name suggestions!

Melanie Loop

If you and I were sitting in my office in a skyscraper downtown, and the handsome secretary had just brought us coffee and cookies (I’m imagining a Pepperidge Farm assortment), and now we were getting down to business, the first thing I would try to do is find out which preferences are truly important to you, and which we could consider ditching.

Right now your naming search looks to me like a math equation that can’t be solved: “We’d love a vowel name, but we don’t want another A or E, and we don’t like / can’t use any of the I, O, or U names.” This is exactly the point at which I’d be inclined to give up the quest for a vowel name, particularly because you’d prefer traditional and familiar names, so it’s not likely you’re going to want to toy with Iolanthe and Orinthia. And then there’s the surname issue, AND the preference for two syllables, AND a preference for a double-consonant middle name. I would ply you with another Milano and suggest we start over.

You may already know that I am a big fan of sibling-name coordination. In fact, my first two children have names that are so well-coordinated, on so many levels (syllables, styles of firsts, styles of middles, number of letters, equivalent honor names—everything) that it made it very difficult to choose names for the next babies. I am very glad at this point that we did manage to break away from the patterns. At this point, no one is saying, “Wait…but the first two names both have characteristics X, Y, and Z; why don’t the other names match?”

All of this means that I am both 100% on your side (for example, thinking “Ooo, AND it has the double-consonants!”) and ALSO fully ready to talk you down if necessary (my first two are in high school now, and it doesn’t matter to me anymore how many syllables their names have).

I think there are two different paths I might suggest from here. One is to take away ALL the preferences, and start virtually from scratch. Pretend it doesn’t matter what letter the name starts with, or how many syllables it has. See what that kind of freedom feels like, and what kind of list the two of you come up with when you’re not putting the candidates through a series of filters.

The second possible path is to rank the preferences rather than ditching them, with the understanding that not all of them can be used. For example, which preference is more important to each of you: a vowel name, or a unique initial? Which is more important: number of syllables, or a unique initial? And so on. Which preferences would you be willing to give up, in exchange for fulfilling another preference? It would be interesting to see if your answers are the same on this, or different.

For example, you might decide that using another vowel name was more important than having unique initials. Unique initials was another of my own preferences when I was naming babies, and it hasn’t been something that I’ve enjoyed as much/often as anticipated. It IS fun getting them initial Christmas ornaments, I’ll say that. But for everything else I was imagining (mostly labeling issues), it wouldn’t be much harder to write ER, AC, and EB.

I suggest ignoring the middle name until the first name has been chosen.

If I were just looking at the names Emma and Audrey Loop, and I were trying to think of a sister name for them, I might suggest:

Abigail
Catherine
Eleanor
Elizabeth
Eloise
Evelyn
Iris
Jocelyn
Julia
Madeline
Katherine
Molly
Natalie
Sabrina
Sarah
Sophie

I also would have included Charlotte and Isabel, but those are already on your list. I think Nora/Norah is another good option.

My favorite option is Iris. It satisfies a LOT of preferences. Iris Loop; Emma, Audrey, and Iris.

Name update!

Thank you to all of you for your comments and suggestions, they really helped us on our journey to finding the right name.

From the moment we met our new little girl, we knew what her name was going to be…our little math naming problem had been solved!

A vowel name with a unique initial was ultimately the most important factor for us. But, our two syllable predicament seemed to solve itself! Our first two daughters look completely different from one another; so we were surprised when our third daughter was a beautiful blend of the two of them. Since Emma and Audrey both have two syllable names, it seems perfect to us that our new baby girl has a four syllable one…..2+2=4!

Plus, we love that her name has 6 letters like Audrey’s and ends with an ‘a’ like Emma’s. Similarities to both her sisters!

Olivia Brigitte Loop was born on December 20th, 2015 and took our breaths away with 8 lbs 13 ounces of love and dreams.

Sincerely,
Melanie Loop

Hi Swistle!

I am so excited to be writing to you because I had my baby names picked out & was almost disappointed that I couldn’t ask for help.

I am expecting a baby (now babies!) in March, I did my quad screen and got a strange result–which turned out not to be so strange since there are two babies in there. (I was doing a lot of freaking out and crying.) I had a feeling about twins, but I assumed boy/girl. The technician said it looks like girl/girl to her (of course, they can make mistakes), but I don’t have two girls’ names!

Our last name is “Egan” with an L in the front.

The girl’s name we are using is Cora Jean.

The boy’s name we love is Robert Kyle (named after my father–who died a few years ago, and a close cousin who also passed away). When I said Robert and Cora together, it sounded like I knew them from somewhere–of course, they are from Downton Abbey! When we found out it was likely two girls, my husband looked up the Downton Abbey cast list to look for other names! :) We do like names of that era (I know they are back).

At the moment, we like the name Gwen. But we aren’t 100% sold. It would also be wonderful if I could somehow integrate my dad’s name (Robert) into the name (he would be thrilled). I’d also love to integrate a family name from his side. Family names for girls on my dad’s side are Ann and Margaret (there’s an Ann or a Margaret every generation–my middle name is Ann, I have an Aunt Margaret, my grandma was Ann, her mom was Margaret), so I think it would be cool to incorporate that. Another very meaningful family name for me is Debby.

I’m not sure if that’s too much information or just enough to be a fun challenge. So, Downton-era first names (or something of that ilk) and a family middle name (or first–we’re open). We don’t want the names to be too matchy-matchy (Cora and Clara) but also not from two completely different styles or eras (like Cora and Britney–that doesn’t work for me!).

I would appreciate any help you could give. What a day!

Thank you SO much,
Heather

I went right away to see the Downton Abbey characters list! Here are some pairings I really like (keeping in mind I haven’t seen the show, so might have chosen combinations that would be awkward to people thinking of the names in the context of the show):

Cora and Rose
Cora and Violet
Ivy and Cora

I especially like Cora and Rose. I like a little extra coordination with twin names, so in addition to liking the way the names go together in sound and style, I like that both are four letters and both have R and O. And yet they’re not overly matchy or cutesy.

More possible names to consider:

Fern
Louise
Eloise
Eliza
Esther
Beatrice
Agatha
Winifred
Josephine
Millicent
Harriet
Frances
Iris
June
Jane
Fiona
Ruby

There were so many others I liked but wasn’t sure about them with the surname: Alice, Delia, Dalia, Pearl, Lydia, Hope.

Are Cora and Jean family names? I’m wondering about balance: if Cora and Jean are names from your husband’s side, for example, that would make me lean toward using names from your side for the other baby; or if one name is from your side and one from your husband’s, that would make me inclined to do something similar for the other baby; or if neither Cora nor Jean are family names, that would make me lean away from filling the other baby’s name with family names.

I think I would advise starting from scratch. That is, Cora Jean may very well end up being the name of one of the girls, but naming two babies instead of one is enough of a shake-up to reconsider the whole thing. For example, it might be fun to use Ann for one and Margaret for the other, either as first or middle names. Honor names may need to be re-distributed to cover two girls instead of one, and it may be a good opportunity to honor both sides of the family at once. If Debby is a particularly important honor name, it becomes more significant which twin you give it to—or would you want to use it as a middle name for both twins? And there are all the fun twin-name possibilities to consider, such as swapped initials (CJ and JC, for example) or coordinated middle names (Rose and Violet, for example, or Jean and June).

I love Cora and Margaret together. Cora Ann and Margaret Jean would get them both into the Ann/Margaret tradition.

Would you like to have more babies after these two? If so, I might recommend saving the name Robert Kyle for a possible future boy, and not attempting to find a way to name one of these two girls after your father. If you’re stopping after these two, Roberta is the fastest namesake to spring to mind; I’d use it as a middle name, and would probably use it as an excuse for the nickname Bertie/Birdy. Robin would be another sweet choice; again, I’d use it as a middle. Bobbi might work, especially if your dad went by Bob. Bobbi and Debby might make a nice set of coordinated middle names.

Name update!

Hey Swistle!

Our girls arrived on 2/23. We are thrilled, sleep-deprived, and so in love.

We decided on Cora Jean (Jean is a family name on both sides) and Margaret Rose (Rose honors my dad Robert & she also shares it as a middle name with my stepbrother’s daughter–I like the connection it creates. We did check in with them first!)

Here they are:

Maggie on the left, Cora on the right. They are big for twins–15 lbs total! I can’t believe I carried them!

We still have a little Downton connection–can’t beat Dame Maggie Smith as the Dowager! :)

Thanks again to everyone for your help!
-Heather

Good Evening,
So recently my cousin mentioned your blog and how you help with coming up with names. I am at a total loss as to even where to begin. I have looked through countless names and well there are many names I like either my husband veto’s them or I feel they don’t go well with our other daughter’s name. We have a daughter already and her name is Rylah Mae Kielstra. It was a name that my 95 year old grandma gave me and I immediately fell in love with the name. It is unique but not yet so different that its hard to pronounce. I am finding it very hard to come up with another unique name that works with Rylah’s name. I can’t even give you one name that my husband and I both agree on. Our baby girl will be born this January so I still have time. I am thinking her middle name will be Kathryn as that is my mother’s middle name. The problem is a need a simpler first name as Kathryn Kielstra is already a mouth full. Would love some advice and help with a few names that you might think would work for our new addition.

Sincerely,
Heidi Kielstra

The name Rylah makes me think of two groups of names: the Ryan/Ryleigh/Kyle/Kylie group, and the Isla/Lila/Layla/Lyla/Mila/Ella group. It reminds me most of names such as Kayla and Kyla, which combine a strong long-vowel first syllable with a gentler feminine ending.

I would suggest doing that again: taking two sounds that are not normally paired but COULD be. Some of the combinations will be names that already exist and are common (Ev + lyn = Evelyn), some will be amusing mismatches or the wrong style, and some can be added to the Maybe list.

Or it might be easier to find a name that already exists, and change part of it, the way you could have started with Riley or Lilah or Kyla to get Rylah. Are there any names you already like, but feel are the wrong style or too common? For example, if you said you loved the name Emily but it didn’t coordinate with the style of Rylah, I might suggest Emlyn or Emryn or Ellery. Or if you loved Avery but it was too common, I might suggest Ayven or Averly or Avaleigh.

But check the Social Security Administration’s data base for name popularity: sometimes a combination of two appealing sounds can be exactly the sort of thing everyone else is also noticing and using. And check alternate spellings: for example, for the name Rylah I’d look for Rilah, Ryla, Rila, etc.

You could also poke around in that data base for seldom-used names. If you follow the link in the previous paragraph and then click on “Background Information” and then click on “Beyond the Top 1000,” you can download a list of all the names used at least five times each year. Starting at the rare end of the list, I found possibilities such as Zaryn, Tamlyn, Nolyn, Mavery, Graylynn, Emrie, Cambrey, Britlyn. (Again, check alternate spellings: sometimes I’d see a name and think, “Oh! That’s different!”—and then realize it was just a different way to spell a popular name.)

If you can, I’d wait to choose the middle name. That is, are there other candidates you could use (your mother’s first name, another relative’s name), if you finally find a name the two of you agree on and doesn’t work with Kathryn? When it is very challenging for two parents to find a name they agree on, I suggest removing as many limitations as possible.

Name update:

Thanks everyone for their wonderful suggestions! We decided on Brielle!