I’m really in need of some outside advice here. I’m due in August, but due to IUGR complications, could be having the baby any time now. We are team green (as we were with number one), but completely stumped on a girl name and it is beyond stressing me out!!

My name is Katelyn, my husband is Justin, and our daughter is Juliet Marie. Our last name is Johnson. We did not choose a J name on purpose and I want to avoid it this time around. I don’t want to be the only non-J (silly, I know)!

The boy name we have picked out, if the baby is a boy, is Gavin Arthur. It was on our list the first time around (along with Lucas Alexander), but it seems to have won out as top contender.

Juliet seemed like such an easy choice at the time, and now we absolutely LOVE it. Romantic and girly. Widely recognizable, but not popular on the charts. Easily pronounced. An uncommon, masculine nickname (We call her Jet). Both Jet and Gavin have kind of a badass, rockstar, vibe (Joan Jett and Gavin Rossdale), but also a literary connection.

We have considered Caroline- it was on my list the first time, but my husband isn’t into it. There don’t seem to be any great nickname options here. It just doesn’t feel right anymore.

Vivian- nickname V, We don’t have a middle that works and we’re both kind of meh here.

Ariana- nickname Ari. I’m liking this name, but it does seem like a bit of a mouthful.

Evelyn- nickname EV. This one my husband keeps coming back to. If I’m being honest, I don’t love the repeat of “lyn” from my name.

Is it too much to ask to find a romantic name with a badass vibe? I’m at a complete loss.

Please Help!
Katelyn

I am interested in this “romantic with a badass vibe” concept. Here’s what makes it happen for the name Juliet:

1. The Romeo and Juliet connection, of course, which persists in feeling romantic even though it’s tragic.

2. The nice sharp T-sound at the end: Julia wouldn’t have the same badass quality.

3. The cool nickname Jet.

4. The alliteration with the surname. Juliet Johnson is snappier than, say, Juliet Miller.

Of the names on your list, I think Vivian comes closest to romantic/badass. There’s the Scarlett O’Hara / Vivien Leigh connection, which gives it a flashing eyes / sassy talk feel as well as a beautiful dress / romantic lead feel. Plus the V-sound has sass of its own. Nicknames V, Vee, Viv—all pretty good. I have two hesitations: one, that you’re not really feeling it; two, that if you’re planning more children it might rule out using Gavin later (it wouldn’t HAVE to, but you might think it has too many sounds in common).

Ariana doesn’t seem like too much of a mouthful to me, and it’s got the romantic feeling—but I’m not seeing any badass/rockstar.

Evelyn is a great name, but it doesn’t strike me as particularly romantic OR badass.

Caroline—maybe. It’s got a princess feeling to it, which covers romance. I’m not sure about the badass. I think it hinges on the nickname. Something like Caro, Rory, Ro?

Let’s look at some more possibilities.

Genevieve. This was a top contender for my daughter’s name. It’s got the romantic quality, plus the nice sharp V-sounds to keep it from being too sweet. It alliterates with the surname without actually using another J name. Nicknames include Vee and Evie and G and GJ. Genevieve Johnson; Juliet and Genevieve; Jet and Evie.

Claudia. Romantic, but you can definitely picture her in a roller derby. I’m watching The West Wing so I’m drawn to the nickname CJ, or I like the nickname Claude. Claudia Johnson; Juliet and Claudia; Jet and CJ.

Winifred. Do not mess around with a Winifred. She will crochet you a sling for your arm after she breaks it. Excellent nickname possibilities: Fred, Freddie, Winnie if she’s not the Fred/Freddie type. Winifred Johnson; Juliet and Winifred; Jet and Freddie.

Georgia. A Georgia will bless your heart as she leaves you in a cloud of motorcycle exhaust. G, George, Georgie. Georgia Johnson; Juliet and Georgia; Jet and Georgie.

Beatrix. Literary as heck. Cool X-sound. I’m not your girl for coming up with non-traditional nicknames, but OKAY FINE WHAT ABOUT BEX? (I believe I first heard this nickname idea from my friend Miss Grace.) Beatrix Johnson; Juliet and Beatrix; Jet and Bex.

Maxine. I’m not sure what name has more sass than Maxine. Maybe Roxy? Plus, you get the nickname Max. Maxine Johnson; Juliet and Maxine; Jet and Max. My one hesitation: insufficient romance.

Francesca, with Frank and Frankie to work with. Francesca Johnson; Juliet and Francesca; Jet and Frankie.

Eloise. One of my enduring favorites. So literary! And princessy! But in a going-to-be-queen way, not in a fragile way. I am not sure what you would like to do about a nickname. E? Lo? Maybe Lou? Eloise Johnson; Juliet and Eloise; Jet and Lou.

Eliza. Another enduring favorite. Again the nickname needs work. Eliza Johnson; Juliet and Eliza; Jet and…?

Alice. Literary. Alice Johnson; Juliet and Alice; Jet and Al.

Josephine. I know you said you don’t want another J. And I wouldn’t either, if I were you; that doesn’t seem silly to me. I’m mentioning Josephine anyway. Literary. Romantic. And most importantly: THE NICKNAME JO. Josephine Johnson; Juliet and Josephine; Jet and Jo.

Annika. Annika Johnson; Juliet and Annika; Jet and Nico.

Veronica. Another roller-derby name for me. Nicknames Ronnie, Nick. Veronica Johnson; Juliet and Veronica; Jet and Nick.

Rosemary. Nicknames Ro, Rory, Romy, Rosie. Rosemary Johnson; Juliet and Rosemary; Jet and Romy.

Katherine. Katherine Johnson; Juliet and Katherine; Jet and Kit.

Name update:

I really loved all the suggestions from you and all the readers. We realized that we were reaching too far for a “princess” name. When we thought of a sibling set, it wasn’t classic and romantic that we were going for. So when our daughter was born on 8/12, we decided on Aria Elizabeth (Ari for short). Everything may think we named her for game of thrones, but little do they know that her nickname is all Ari Gold from Entourage, and that’s pretty badass.

Katelyn

Hi Swistle!

I am in desperate need of some sound advice about using a name that is also the name of a friends’ daughter.

The back story is that my husband and I have loved a name for a long time, since we named our #2 daughter and agreed that if we had any more girls we would use this one next. The name was not very popular at all so we felt safe haha. Shortly before I became pregnant with our #3, a friend, who I see every week on Sundays and with whom I have a good friendship/acquaintanceship (but we are by no means best friends), used the name that I had had my heart set on. (Very unbeknownst to her and to my great dismay!)

I was even sadder when I did get pregnant with #3 and felt like I couldn’t use the name (and I was so shy to talk to her about it). Whether or not that was the right way of doing things, it is water under the bridge now. We love our #3’s name and wouldn’t change it at all–it suits her perfectly.

Back to present. I am pregnant with our #4 daughter and that name is still one of our favorites. I got enough courage to email her…I’m kind of a whimp…(now that it’s been a couple of years and she has since had another child as well) I felt more courageous…can you tell I don’t like conflict??? Anyway, I asked if she would be bothered by us using the name. She didn’t outright say she was bothered, mostly a “haha, it is a great name! We thought we were being so unique but it’s becoming quite popular”. Not a super encouraging response but not an outright no, please don’t use it response either.

What do I do? Is it generally understood that you don’t use names of other friends’ kids? Am I completely out of line? Am I being a weeny and just need to ask her in person? Do I need to ask at all? (My husband’s opinion is that, no, we don’t need to ask). Since she didn’t say she was bothered by it outright, I’m not sure how much I need to read in between the lines. Is there etiquette when it comes to using names that friends have used?

I am not a boat rocker and do not want to cause unwanted tension but I also just love that name and wonder if I need to let it go once and for all?

Please help!

*hint the name is a purple floral name which was fairly unused three years ago but has gained considerable popularity since!

Thank you so much for your kind and sound advice! I really hope you and other readers can give me a more balanced, non-hormonal perspective–on whichever side it lands!

Most Sincerely,
Erica

It seems to me that what establishes the acceptability of name-repeats among friends is not so much about etiquette as it is about the particular social standards in that particular group: in some friend groups there will already be duplicates, and further duplicates will be considered flattering/bonding, and some people will be pushing others to use their children’s names (this is me); in others, no one will care very much about names and would be puzzled that anyone would fret about it, considering how many other people ALREADY have the name; in still others, duplicating a name would be like stealing someone’s spouse.

So! Step one is to think about what kind of friendship is involved here. Am I guessing right that this is a church friendship? If yes: do you ever see her outside of church? how big is the church? are there other duplicates among the names of children in the church? Better yet: has she named any of her children a name that was already in use in the church? That would be GOLDEN. (If I’m wrong about church, then same basic questions but without the word “church”: do you see her other than on Sundays? in what kind of group DO you see her, if any, and are there duplicates in that group? and so on.)

It also matters how uncommon the name is. I don’t want to start listing guesses for this name because I can see you’re trying not to have it in the post, so let’s talk about non-purple floral choices. If the name in question were Lily or Rose or Daisy, that would be a very different situation than if the name were Amaryllis or Zinnia or Chrysanthemum. You and she are in agreement that the name in question has become a lot more popular recently, so I will assume we have more of a Lily/Rose/Daisy situation on our hands.

You’re agonizing about whether or not you need to ask her—but you have ALREADY asked her. You asked her if she would be bothered by you using the name, and she responded by agreeing that it was a great name and adding that it was becoming quite popular. I would interpret this as “neutral permission” or “gracious non-opposition”: she doesn’t enthusiastically/specifically encourage you to use the name, but she demonstrates that she realizes the name is not her family’s original idea or exclusive property, and she also deliberately declined the offered opportunity to say that it bothers her. She doesn’t seem to be HOPING you’ll use it, but that would be a lot to ask of someone.

If you want to ask her again, you can do so—but ONLY ask if you are willing to give her that power over your name choices. This is not something I personally would be willing to do. But if you want more reassurance than she has already given, and if you ARE willing to let her veto a name, then I would bring it up again as a friendly “last chance!” sort of thing: “Okay, so we talked about this before and you seemed like you were okay with us using this name—but it’s important to me not to make you sad about this, so I just wanted to check one more time before we settled on it for sure.” I would do it in person if possible, but casually: not setting up a Serious Appointment with her, but just asking her while the two of you are chatting without other people in the conversation: you cover the weather and the children’s latest cold, and then you say, “Oh! By the way!” This will also give you a chance to read facial expression and body language. But again: you have ALREADY given her the opportunity to say if it bothers her, AND I don’t think people get to veto other people’s baby-name choices (though we may of course decide not to distress others by using names they would LIKE to veto), AND I don’t think you should be trying to wring anything better than neutral permission / gracious non-opposition out of her. I mean, what if she says, “Well, actually…I guess it would bother me a little.” NOW what? Another series of conversations during which you try to establish the line where her botheredness outweighs your love of the name? No, no, no, let’s not do this.

But if you DO ask her again and she says it bothers her, or if you decide not to use it because you’re worried it bothers her, it’s encouraging that this was your third-choice name, and also that you don’t have regrets about your third daughter’s name.

It may even be worth it to you to just cross the name off your list to avoid the stress of the whole thing. We’ve talked before about the “package deal” of a name: part of the package deal of this name may be the discomfort you feel about it being a name your friend used, and maybe you’ll decide you’d rather not.

I am going to add two paragraphs here that will not help this letter-writer, but are for the benefit of others who may one day be in this situation. If it happens to any of you that your secret favorite name is used (or about to be used) by someone else, I suggest INSTANTLY spilling the secret. So if, for example, you get the heart-dropping announcement from a friend that they’ve decided to use the name Rose, and Rose is the name you were absolutely planning to use for your baby, you immediately say, with HUGE joy as if you wanted nothing more than to have kids with the same name, “Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it! That is the VERY NAME we are planning to use for our next girl!” There’s no “Do you mind if we still do use it?” here: it’s a declaration that you had already made the same decision: it was already settled. Later you may decide not to use the name, but you have established that you didn’t get the idea of the name from your friend’s use of it.

This sort of situation is also an argument for mentioning names ahead of time, even way ahead of time. It’s a risk, though, isn’t it. Nobody wants to say, “I’ve always loved the name Rose” and have the friend say “…Oh. my. gosh. That is the most perfect name. Do you mind if I…?”

Name update:

Hi Swistle,

Thank you so much for your advice a few months ago about naming etiquette among friends. Your perspective and the comments that followed really helped me get over any hesitation I had about using the name I so wanted to use…and to top it all off, both our families ended up moving, so it really became a non-issue.

We’re are thrilled to introduce our little Violet Jane, born August 31st! I smile every time I say it. Thank you again!

Sincerely,
Erica

Dear Swistle,

I am hoping you can provide some naming help for our last baby due at the end of June. We have two little girls, Laura Marie and Clara Rose. We do not know the gender of baby number three, but we are decided on a boy name. We are having a hard time deciding on a girl name as some of our nieces and nephews’ names have eliminated names or name variants that we like. And we have two girls already and coming up with a third girl name is tough. Plus we have some naming quirks (but who doesn’t, right?).

My name is Lisa and my husband is Christopher. Our surname is Lenz with a B instead of an L. We like classic/vintage names that have clear spellings and pronunciations. For girls names, I love feminine names that end in “a” – this is a requirement for me. I have always loved the names Laura and Julia. But before my second was born, we had a niece who was named Julia – so that is not an option. We love the name Clara – vintage and not overly used. Plus now we have L&C names to match our names. The third baby will throw off the L&C naming convention because although we love L&C names, I feel the next baby should have his/her own letter and not make our family lopsided.

First names that I like but have been eliminated because of nieces/nephews: Julia/Juliana, Liliana, Alexa

First Name Letters that we like: A, J, K, M, R, S, V

First Name Letters that we will not use: B (only because last name), D, E, F, G, H, Q, U, W, X, Y, Z

We are trying to come up with a name that fits well with Laura and Clara. Since they are shorter names, trying to choose something that does not have too many syllables or is too long. The top two contenders on our list are Victoria and Sophia. I have hang-ups with both. I love Victoria – it is classic, no spelling/pronunciation issues, and I like the meaning (victory). It seems to fit with the other girls’ names, especially with the “r” sound at the end. However, my concerns are nicknames (we dislike Vicky and Tory and our two girls do not have nicknames) – baby/child would have to be Victoria and I am not sure if that is realistic. It is a bit longer than the other girls’ names we have too. I like Sophia – honestly I loved this name 10 years ago but now it is so popular that I don’t feel like the name is special. I like that it is classic and like the meaning (wisdom). I feel like the “ph” spelling is more common than “f” spelling – we both prefer the “ph” spelling. It is a shorter than Victoria. But I fear the child would always be Sophia B because of its popularity.

As for middle names, Marie is my middle name and a family name. Rose is my favorite flower and I just love the name. Yes, these are common middle names, but I am okay with that because it is the middle not first name. Also, both middle names again are easy to spell and pronounce. They also end in an “e”, so it would be nice to have another middle name that ends in “e”. Also, we do consider the baby’s initials and try to avoid inappropriate initials (ex. SOB). Middle name that we are considering is Grace.

Other names that I like, but don’t seem to fit our naming conventions:

First names: Cora (out – C issue and rhymes with Laura), Violet (husband does not like, does not end in a), Serena (not classic?), Sabrina (not sold on this), Seraphina (husband does not like), Ophelia (I just think Shakespeare)

Middle names: Juliet (husband does not like), Annabel/Annabelle, (concern with “bell” sound before B surname), Olive (this is all me not sure about hubby – yet to be discussed), Lily (another flower)

So to summarize, a girl first name that ends in “a” and is classic/vintage, easy to spell/pronounce, and goes with Laura and Clara….and a pretty middle name (it can be more popular and bonus if it ends in “e”). It seems so much harder naming a third when the first two have set naming precedents!

Thanks,

Lisa

I suggest Anna. Feminine and classic; ends in -a; similar length to other names; no need for a nickname; easy to pronounce and spell but not very common; doesn’t share too many sounds with Laura and Clara.

You mention Grace as a middle name possibility, and I think Anna Grace is very nice.

Or Anna Jane is pretty, or Anna June.

Sophie would be a nice middle name, too, if Sophia is feeling too common as a first name. I like Sophia even better than Sophie as a middle name, if you’re willing to skip the ends-in-E preference. Anna Sophia.

The middle name would also be a good way to use Victoria without having to deal with the nicknames. Anna Victoria.

A few more first-name options to consider:

Audra
Nadia
Nina
Viola

I would suggest Delia, Eliza, Eva, Fiona, and Georgia, but D, E, F, and G are on the list of letters you won’t use. Is that list set in stone? It rules out so many good options. I kept getting discouraged: I’d think of another name that met all the preferences—and oh, the first letter is on the No list.

I think one reason you’re stuck is that you have too many requirements/preferences you’re trying to meet: too many letters it can’t start with, plus it has to end in -a, plus it shouldn’t have nicknames, plus it has to be easy to spell and pronounce, plus it can’t be too common. I suggest ranking these in order of how important they are to you, and seeing if some of the requirements can be demoted to preferences, and if some of the preferences can be demoted to “eh, nice if it works out, but we don’t really care.” I don’t think just because the first two names have something in common you have to continue that for a third name.

And it’s a matter of trading: each requirement/preference eliminates a large chunk of names. Each time you cut away a chunk of names, you reduce the number of names you might love. Too many cuts, and the choice becomes “Do we go with a name we love but that fails to meet some of our preferences, or do we instead go with a name that meets all our preferences but we like it much less?” That sounds as if I think you should go with the name you love, but that’s not what I’m saying; what I’m saying is that I think it will make the decision process easier if you realize the cost of each preferences, and then decide if you’re willing to pay those costs. You might find that you are willing, which could help you feel happy choosing a name you love less; or you might find you’re not willing, which could help you feel happy choosing a name that doesn’t meet a preference.

As an exercise, I recommend making a list of names without any regard for requirements/preferences. That is, put Julia on the list even though you can’t use it. Put names you like that don’t end in -a on the list. Put names you like that are a little hard to spell or pronounce on the list. Put names that start with the forbidden initials on the list—including L and C. Put them alllllllll on the list. Then you can compare the names that meet your requirements to the ones that don’t, and see if the trade-offs (in either direction) are ones you’re willing to make: that is, put the things on the balance scales and ask yourselves are you willing to forsake [preference] in exchange for [loved name]? are you willing to forsake [loved name] in exchange for [preference]? This may also give you more ideas for names that DO meet your requirements: if, for example, you’d had Anne and Annabel and Hannah on the doesn’t-meet-requirements list, that might lead you to add Anna to the does-meet-requirements list.

If it were me, the first requirement I’d knock off is the initials one. You didn’t mention why some of those initials are on your list, though, so you may have reasons that would change my mind on that if I knew them. Let’s start just with L and C: I understand not wanting to repeat initials (that’s one of my preferences, too), but I think it might be worth the trade—particularly if the next initial were L, so that it wasn’t so much “lopsided” as “alternating.”

From your list my top favorite is Sabrina. I like the repeating B-sound with the surname, and it seems like it checks all the other boxes: goes well with Laura and Clara, isn’t too long, it’s classic and easy to pronounce/spell, etc. Serena is also nice, but I prefer Sabrina.

Name update:

Dear Swistle (and blog commenters),

Thank you for all of your very helpful advice!  I appreciate the time everyone took to brainstorm name suggestions.  I read over all the responses several times and considered everyone’s input.  The most helpful advice was to take a step back, forget the rules, and just make a list of names that we liked.  We did just that – went through every page of the baby name book for girls’ names and made a long list.  That really helped (or at least I felt like we had exhausted all our options and left no stone unturned!).

To update, we have a healthy third baby GIRL!  She was born on July 4^th – a little firecracker.  (No, we did not incorporate any patriot names such as America or Liberty into her name.  Baby was due at the end of June, so an Independence Day baby was not what we expected!).

Before I reveal the name, I do want to comment on names that were serious contenders based off of your suggestions.

Anna – Yes!  This is definitely a great fit for the sibset.  It hits all the check boxes.  But it just didn’t wow us (and we have a lot of Ann’s in the family).  But I think it was a close second.

Vera – I liked the V, the vintage name, length, and “ra” ending.  It really works well with the sibling names.  But my first thought when I saw it suggested was that is sounded too much like Clara.  Then further in the comments others also mentioned this and questioned the correct pronunciation.

Elsie – Very creative!  However, just not our style.

So Laura Marie and Clara Rose have a baby sister named Victoria Grace.   After going through all the names, both my husband and I still loved Victoria.  The real concern was the nickname issue.  So we are going to call her Victoria and make sure that family/friends do too. Her 3 and 5 yr old sisters are able to pronounce her full name.  We’ve noticed in preschool a lot of children going by their full long names rather than nicknames.  If she wants a nickname as a teen there are options that we may tolerate (Vita, Ria), but hopefully she’ll love Victoria too.  Although I would have considered possible other middle names, Olive, Juliet, June, my husband really liked Grace (and I do too) as a virtue name and religious meaning.  Plus as someone pointed out to us after the fact, it is a regal name (Queen Victoria/Princess Grace).  Although my history buff husband was quick to point out that our 4^th of July baby has a namesake after a longstanding British monarch!  I will say that we have received so many more comments from people that they like/love her name – more so than we did with the first too.  I wonder how much of that has to do with the fact that Victoria is currently more popular on the baby name lists than the other two names…

Thank you all once again!  We are so in love we our third little girl (and her name)!

Lisa

Hi, Swistle! I am newly pregnant with our fourth and final (FOR REAL THIS TIME) baby. You helped us previously with our daughter’s initials and our second son’s name so we trust your judgement!

Each of our kids is named for something we love. Our son Atticus for To Kill A Mockingbird, our daughter Elm for the summer camp in the woods where we met and got married, and our son Orion for the stars my mother always pointed out to me as a child. So that puts quite a bit of pressure on this baby’s name to also have special meaning.

I like the idea of picking something from a new “category” with literature, nature, and space already covered. We love the arts and sciences, I’ve thought of trying to pick something from music, history (especially strong American females given the current political climate), poetry, science, geography, or movies. My husband’s family is Scottish and he has a very Scottish middle name so something with Gaelic or Scottish ties could be another fun option. Really we’re wide open for suggestions! The only hard and fast rules are that it is easily pronounced on sight and fairly unique. We haven’t decided whether or not to find out the sex beforehand so we will pick both a boy and a girl name.

Thank you so much for your help, I can’t wait to hear what you and your readers come up with!

Amy W

Edited to add:

I was dead set on waiting to find out the sex but in the ultrasound room with all 3 kids begging to know, I caved. And it’s a girl! We’re thrilled. This means I can tell you that the boy name we picked was from your comments- it would have been Ulysses James. I liked Ulysses when several people mentioned it here and then fell in love with it after reading the Tennyson poem. I would have loved to use it, so someone else definitely should!

We had also picked a girl name from your comments, Iris, but after seeing its popularity compared to our other kids’ names when the 2016 list came out we decided against it. We both liked the name but neither of us LOVED it enough to use it despite its climb. So we have now picked a girl’s name much like our older daughter’s- one syllable, not overly feminine, nature-related.

So now the problem is finding a middle name to go with it. Elm’s middle name is Elizabeth, which is my middle name too and was my great grandmother’s name. I like three things about this combination: 1. The sound of the multiple syllables after a short first name, 2. A more obviously girl name after a unisex first name, and 3. A more common name after an obscure first name (which I feel like gives her an option when she’s older if she decides she’d rather go by her middle.)

We don’t have any other easy family names to use so are just looking for something that flows nicely and would love any suggestions!

Thank you as always for helping name our babies. We love going through the comments and read all of them together!

Xox
Amy

Name update:

Hi Swistle! I wrote to you early in my pregnancy about naming our fourth and last baby. We went through every comment and changed our minds on both first and middle several times (Zelda! Iris! Something unpronounceably Scottish!) but finally settled on Lark Genevieve. She’s named for a poem we love, The Lark Ascending, and it fits her perfectly. Thank you and your readers so much, our posts to you will always be a special and fun thing to look back on from our baby naming years!

Amy W.

Hi Swistle!

I am such a fan of your site, advice, and writing.

I am now pregnant with my first and stuck on a boy’s name. There are many girl’s names that my husband and I both like but boys names are harder for us.

If the baby were a girl, we would be in the neighbourhood of Vera, Eleanor, maybe Margot.

Some of the boys’ names we like are relatively classic but feel plain like William, Benjamin, maybe Leo.

My husband’s last name is Carruthers (spelled with an o in place of the u here) and my last name sounds like Hair-ick (spelled with an “rr” in please of the “ir”, and no hyphen).

For the longest time I’ve thought that my last name would make such a solid name for a boy. Nickname Harry possibilities, and paired with my husband’s Scottish/Irish sounding last name the combination of Hair-ick Carruthers sounds very proper.

However there are two issues with this.

One is that, well, my maiden name is still my last name. Although I always thought I would end up changing it, it felt weird-ish when we got married to just have a different name all of a sudden and the hassle of having to fill out so much paperwork from so many separate government offices wasn’t exactly enticing. If we did go with this name, would I probably have to change my last name?

Finally the harsh sound of going from the first name ending in ‘ick to beginning the last name with the hard “C” sound in Carr- might, I think, be problematic. I’m not sure but wanted your take on it.

My husband agrees that it would be a nice name for a boy but we’re both stuck on these two issues.

Appreciate your wisdom!

xx
Michelle

Oh, what an interesting question. I have mulled it over a bit and here is my own personal feeling about it, in two parts:

1. No, you would not have to change your own surname.
2. In fact, I think it makes it better if you don’t.

It may occasionally result in brief confusion—but, it seems to me, always FUN brief confusion, with a FUN (and easy) explanation. And I love the way it points out that your son’s name is your two surnames combined. It takes something I love (maiden names used as first names) and EMPHASIZES it.

The -ck/C- issue is fine with me. I find I pretty easily start putting a tiny pause in there, and also it feels like a minor and Worth It kind of issue.

Name update:

Hi Swistle!

I have a naming update for you from many millennia ago (3 years, ha). We were debating H@rrison or H@rrick (my last name), I made a little deal with myself that if the baby’s hair was dark I would name him H@rrick (my last name) and if his hair was light, I would name him H@rrison. I am a brunette and my husband is blonde, and he came out with a bunch of very light hair so H@rrison it was. It suits him and we call him Harry about 80% of the time.

THEN about two years later I shockingly got pregnant with boy/girl twins. I was IN LOVE with Harvey but Harry and Harvey is way too matchy to be in a sib set so I scrolled and scrolled looking for a boy’s name that could either end in a “-y” sound or be made into a “-y” nickname because I love nicknames. Finally I came across the name Sulliv@n and it felt magical, that was it for sure. Now the girl’s name. With two last-name names I wasn’t sure what to do and we went into the hospital with two names, Vada and M@eve. After about 24 hours my husband tried calling the baby Vada and it just felt wrong so M@eve it was. I love that they both have a V in their name but are in general pretty different sounding. Naming was the best part of being pregnant and I wish I could do it again! (but not that much ;)

Dear Swistle:
Do you think names can be haunted — or at least have good vibes/bad vibes?

When I was pregnant with my daughter, Margot, I brought up Arthur as a possible boy name with my husband. He vetoed it without giving it much thought, and we selected another boy option at the time (which I no longer like).

However, since we had our daughter, Arthur just keeps coming up for me as a solid boy name (we are not pregnant now but hope to be soon). Part of it is that I’ve been having trouble coming up with boy name that compliments Margot’s sound and feel as well as I think Arthur does.

I always joke about Arthur when we discuss names casually, and my husband has not outright vetoed it this time around, so I keep bringing it up. I will say I’m not 100% sold on it, just like it very much and can’t think of a better option.

Then, open to other possibilities, I decided to go through some family genealogy records, and was looking through the names of my grandma’s siblings (12 of them). I was not familiar with all of them because many of them were born in Italy and were much older than my grandmother, who was born in the U.S. and was among the youngest in her family.

Well, I was shocked to see that my grandmother had not one but TWO brothers named Arthur, both who died young. One died as a young child in Italy and another died in infancy in the U.S. I never remember her talking about them, because they died before she was born. I don’t know the circumstances surrounding these deaths, other than the knowledge that infant mortality was common at that time.

My first instinct was that I could not use the name, because it means the name somehow has “bad vibes” — or might doom a new child to a negative outcome. But I brought it up to my husband and a good friend, and they both said, this is more reason to use it! This name is trying to be used, it has more meaning now, etc. Another friend, however, said, no, no, no! She couldn’t use it, and I feel that way sometimes, too.

So now I am left with a husband who is more open than ever to this name I’ve been lobbying for, but I’m unsure myself. I will say this grandmother was particularly special to me, and her mother’s name (Margarita) was a partial inspiration for Margot (or more like an affirmation that this was indeed the right name).

Grandma’s name was Edna, which I just couldn’t get myself to love enough to use, but I have thought of Ed-variations for boys that have some similar qualities to Arthur, like Edwin. But my husband’s last name (which we will use) is a two syllable name that ends in -en, so I tend not to like a lot of boy first names that share this pattern. I don’t know why, but I’m not into Edward. Maybe just too familiar.

What are your thoughts? Is this family tree a “sign” that I should use Arthur — especially since I keep coming back to this in my mind the last several years? Or a sign that it’s time to move on? I know many people use the names of deceased relatives, but this feels a little different.

If suggesting alternatives, I’ll just note that I love more vintage/literary/romantic sounding names. Hubby is open to lots of styles, but seems to like clean, but snappy sounding names, with a more modern-leaning feel. I think we hit the right balance with Margot – and maybe Arthur too?

We like Everett for a middle name, even though it is trendy, as this is in his family history and I think it goes really well with Arthur. Arthur Everett – en.

Short answer: no, I don’t think a name can be haunted.

A name certainly can develop bad associations for a particular person. If I date a terrible person and he leaves me needing extensive therapy, probably his name is always going to give me an unpleasant feeling even if I encounter it on someone else who is a completely nice and excellent human being. And when people write in and say, “Can I use this name even though it’s the name of my estranged relative who did some terrible thing that scarred the entire family?,” I advise against it: I don’t like the idea of giving a name to a child KNOWING other people will shudder about it.

But that is not what we’re dealing with here. Thinking of a few people in my own family tree who had sad/premature deaths (a great-aunt who died as a teenager of a sudden illness; another great-aunt who died as a child of an illness that is now preventable with a vaccine; an uncle who died in infancy; a great-grandmother who died in her forties during a routine surgery), I find their names very usable—and in fact, as your husband does, I feel it makes the names MORE usable. Thinking on it further, I’d say this: death in itself, even early/sad death, may increase the reason/motivation to use the name; it’s the person’s actions while alive that can be a dealbreaker.

I admit it gives me pause to hear that TWO brothers named Arthur both died. I think that mix of unusual elements might be what gives it that hint of fairy tales and curses. Is it the same for you? That is, if your grandmother had lost one brother named Arthur, would you feel less uncomfortable? And yet I still don’t believe a name can be haunted, or that the fates of two other users of this name would affect your child’s own fate.

I think in the end it’s going to boil down to individual, subjective feelings, and in this case I mean yours and your husband’s: everyone else might have brief feelings or reactions, but likely nothing with a deep-down lifelong impact. Your husband feels positively about using the name, so now we turn to you. Do you find that you are trying to talk yourself INTO the name, or OUT OF the name? Do you find yourself hoping we’ll say not to use it, or hoping we’ll dismiss the concerns? Do you find that you are TRYING to feel uncomfortable about it (i.e., feeling as if it OUGHT to bother you), or do you find that you are trying NOT to and yet still having trouble shaking it? When you think of the name, do you get an automatic little rush of happiness, or an automatic little shudder?

If you find you are trying to reason your way out of being bothered about it but you still ARE bothered, then it may be that this name is just not going to work. If instead you are persisting in liking the name but worry that it ought to feel weird or that it might BE weird, then I say brush off those concerns and use the name. I think it’s sweet to honor those relatives and to keep the name in the family tree.

To sum up: I do think a name can give particular people an unpleasant feeling because of associations they have with that name, but I do not think a name can be in itself some sort of bad-luck charm, or that a name could doom a child to a bad end. Nor do I think finding deaths in a family tree is a sign that you SHOULD use the name, or that the name itself is trying to make you use it. I think in the vast majority of cases, choosing a baby name is an activity devoid of supernatural influences or effects.

In this case, where you have plenty of time, I’d advise leaving Arthur on the list for now and seeing how you feel about it as time goes on and as other name candidates are considered. From my own point of view, it is certainly okay to use the name, and in fact appealing—but what will matter is how you personally feel about it.

Name update:

Dear Swistle:
I am the person who originally posted, “Can a name be haunted?” while considering names for a future baby boy. Well, I am now pregnant with an actual baby boy (due in Dec) and wanted to share an update (and get some final feedback?).

When we learned we were pregnant with a boy, we spent a few months looking through a ton of name possibilities, but have kept coming back to Arthur. I definitely think it’s The Name and my hubby has come fully around to it too. It’s funny because now that I’m considering it for real, I am not worried about negative connotations and it doesn’t feel spooky at all! It just feels right.

One of the things that helped me come around was one of your readers sharing that in Jewish tradition, the meaning of the middle name could help offset a first name associated with a deceased individual. For whatever reason, this helped me feel “in control” of the meaning of the name as a whole.

Another reader had suggested Wells as a good first name match with Margot, but at the time, I didn’t love the name on its own merits (or as a first name) and didn’t make much of the comments.

Recently, as I dug into the middle name options a bit more (and re-read the post on your blog), it struck me that Wells = the initials of all of this baby’s great grandfathers (Wilbur, Elmer, Lyle and Stanley)! What!? And the connotation with well-being, spring/stream (of life?) has made it seem almost too perfect for this particular situation. It also works really well with our last name.

I just wanted to share because I was really struggling with boy names for a long time and had so many other options for girl names that made me much more excited. I never thought I’d get to “love” with a boy name and second child, but here we are!

We are reserving space to change our minds if the name just doesn’t seem right for the little guy, but Arthur Wells is the tentative plan.

Thanks so much for the part you played in helping us sort this out!

Hi Swistle,

We are (unexpectedly) expecting our second child, a boy. Our last name sounds like Chelsea. In the past, we’ve held to some (ahem) convoluted naming requirements, but we picked our daughter’s name easily—Eleanor (nn Ellie) Jane Lee Chelsea. We are leaning heavily towards naming the baby after Husband’s deceased father, David.

So, here is the dilemma. I have four names (first, second, and two last names that are not hyphenated). Husband has four names (First, two middle names, last name). Daughter has four names, as shown above. If we name the baby after his father (David), and we honor my beloved grandfather by using his middle name (Leo), then the baby’s name is David Leo Chelsea, which is almost exactly his father’s name (David Lee Chelsea). I like the name! I like it quite a bit! It honors people both very special to us that we miss terribly! I find it really pleasing and it makes me happy!

But it bugs me that we would all have four names, and this baby would only have three. But Husband is insistent that If the first name is David, then the second name is Leo, and that’s where we stop. It also bugs Husband that David is a perpetually popular name. I have a name that was in the top 20 the year I was born and I cannot move without tripping over people my age with my name. It can be a bit annoying at times, or at least, it was in school.

The other thing that slightly bothers me about David Leo is that we gave our daughter her first name precisely because it was her own name. No one in our family has the name Eleanor; it’s all hers. The middle names are family names. Plus, we picked Eleanor because of a historical reference (Eleanor of Aquitaine) and a sci-fi reference (Dr. Ellie Arroway, Contact). But David is obviously a special name, so this baby would not get his “own” first name. It all just feels very much like we are changing the rules, and if there’s anything I like, it’s a rule.

Oh, the last thing that bothers me a bit about David is that my family are habitual nickname givers, and no, it’s not a battle I am interested in fighting. It’s a family quirk and leave it at that. They will tack an –e sound on to a name for a nickname, every time, so David becomes Davey, which I do not like.

As much as we like the name, David Leo is not set in stone, hence us fretting to you. We are considering using my grandfather’s first name, Bernard (nn Ben), and then David would be a middle name. BUT, that still gets at my problem of not having his “own” name for a first name. Added to that, then I feel guilty for not just using David as the first name, because if we’re going to have an honor name as a first name, then I really feel like it should be Husband’s father. On the other hand, if the first name is Bernard, then I probably get my wish of four names, and it would be Bernard David ??? Chelsea, which pleases my pattern loving soul.

THEN, my husband threw out the other day that he loves the name Harrison, in honor of the clockmaker, John Harrison, who solved the problem of calculating longitude at sea. So, it would be Harrison David ??? Chelsea. I really like Harrison, because it has the historical reference and a nod to a sci-fi reference. But does that make everyone think of Harrison Ford? Plus, I still feel guilty for not using David as a first name in this scenario; that’s how close Husband and his father were.

Bonus: our daughter is insisting on the names Edgar or Isaac. So: Is David Leo okay when that means this kid has three names and the rest of us have four? Is it weird that David Leo is SO CLOSE to my deceased but beloved father in law’s name? Is David way too popular? Is this kid going to feel left out that he didn’t get his own name and got an honor name instead? Is there another name that’s just a better fit?

This is needlessly complicated. Help us, Swistle, you’re our only hope.

This is the kind of situation where I KNOW it doesn’t really matter, and I want to TELL you it doesn’t really matter—but I CAN’T, because it would matter to me TOO.

I generally don’t even care what the parents’ names are doing, when considering their kids’ names. But in this case…well, I find I want you to give him four names. I just do. I don’t think you NEED to. I don’t think you should feel as if you HAVE to. But I want you to, and I think you want to too, so I say let’s see what we can figure out.

Here’s where I figure we can start chipping away at the problem: “But Husband is insistent that If the first name is David, then the second name is Leo, and that’s where we stop.” Solution: first name will not be David. That releases us immediately from that difficult if/then. Alternate solution: he stops insisting on the if/then. It’s an unnecessary rule, and it’s causing problems. But since it bothers both you and your husband that the name David is so steadily popular, I think it makes more sense to go with the first solution. If instead he is firm on David being the first name, then I don’t see any reason he shouldn’t give a little on the issue of two middles.

Also, it bothers you that you deliberately decided against family names for your daughter’s first name, but this time would be reversing yourselves. I don’t think you NEED to be consistent with this, but since you seem to WANT to, I’d go with that flow: I’d make David and Leo the middle names and pick something else for the first name.

Also, the nicknames for David bother you. And you are not sure you like the name being so close to your late father-in-law’s name. Really the only argument I’m seeing here in favor of using three names is that your husband was very close to his late father. I release you from feeling that this must be symbolically represented in your son’s first name. It isn’t necessary: the closeness abides, regardless of your son’s name.

Harrison David Leo Chelsea is the perfect name to go with Eleanor Jane Lee Chelsea. I declare it so. Or, if you prefer, you can think of something you like better than Harrison. Isaac is nice, with the science (Isaac Newton) and science fiction (Isaac Asimov).

Name update:

Hi Swistle!

We had our little boy this past weekend: Josiah David Leo Chelsea. We call him Joss for short, and he seems very happy to be here. Thank you for your help–it helped us get on the path to his name!

Hi Swistle!!

Well our beautiful baby boy was born last week and we have yet to find a name for him. I never understand people who could leave the hospital without naming their baby, but alas, that is us. Our last name is Mavis with a D.

Our three eldest children were fairly easy to name: Edward Joseph (grandfathers name), Fiona Potter (Potter is a family surname), Harriet Pauline (Pauline is my grandmothers name).

For this little guy, we just haven’t had one “click” yet.

My husband is fully against my favorite which is George, so that is out. He likes the name but just can’t get over how I have a living uncle George.

His favorite is Ashford, claiming he loves it because of the different nicknames available to him – Ash and Ford, as well as how it is somewhat gender neutral. We would name him Ashford Lee, so he would have the same initials and same middle name as me (though mine is spelled with the “igh”). My husband loves that idea and how with him being our last baby, and how he was a successful much desired VBA2C, as a tribute to me. I think it’s sweet.

The other 2 names that we are still considering are Felix (my grandfathers middle name) and Crosby which is my maiden name.

I look at this baby and keep seeing Felix, but wonder if having a Fiona and a Felix is too much “Fi”/”Fe” sound? We call our daughter Fi or Fifi, and are unlikely to call our son those nicknames, so I’m just not sure if it’s a concern.

Crosby is probably in 3rd place now, but still a contender. We love how unique it is and yet it’s still a family name.

What do you and your readers think? We could really use some insight from people who haven’t been thinking of these names over and over for so long.

Thank you!!!

Amie

Name update:

Hi Swistle!

I am so happy to announce that we came to an agreement on baby’s name! Everyone’s comments were so very helpful in our conversations at home as we got to know our little man. When it came down to it, my dear husband told me that he liked the name George (his only issue with the name was that I have a living Uncle George) and that since he had named Edward, I could name our last baby. I broke down in tears with relief and asked him to pick his middle name. I’ve attached a photo of our fourth and last child, George Crosby! We couldn’t be happier and am so glad that we took our time in making the decision. Thank you so much for all of your help!!

Amie

Dear Swistle,
I need serious help on finding a name for baby #3, a boy due in April. Boy names are especially difficult to decide on for us and we aren’t in love with any of our options. Our first child is named Atlas which is an old (old) family name that my husband was adamant on using. Our second child is a little girl named Gwendolyn which was my great-grandmother’s name that I had always loved. But now with with baby #3 coming just around the corner I feel like we’ve used the names we felt the most strongly about and have no clue on what to name this new little boy! One of the hardest things is what goes with Atlas??? Admittedly I was very hesitant to name him Atlas in the beginning and wanted him to go by Gregory, his middle name. But now the name has grown on me and I can’t call him anything else.
For this new baby we would like a strong name that’s not very popular and I’d prefer something a little longer because our last name is Fox. Here are some names we’ve considered:

Edison: both of us feel ok about this but not great. Eddie is a cute nickname but I dislike Ed.

Frederick: a strong contender for me, but is the alliteration too much especially with the nickname Freddie? Freddie Fox? Would he hate me forever?

Declan: I really like Declan but my husband thinks it is too trendy and harsh sounding

Henry: I really like Henry, but my husband likes Henrick better. I am also worried on how popular Henry is.

Theodore: a strong contender and I like Theo a lot, but we have a niece named Thea and feel like it’s too close.

Please help!

Thank you so much,
K

I am very keen on the name Frederick anyway, but I particularly like it in this case. None of the names on your list are as distinctive as Atlas, but the alliteration of Frederick Fox brings up the distinctiveness considerably.

My other top choice from your list is Edison: I think it’s the closest to the style of Atlas. I hesitate a little because you dislike the nickname Ed; that’s my only reason for putting it second. Well, and also that I am charmed by the idea of Frederick Fox.

Because Atlas is a family name, I don’t think you have to try as hard to match the style of it: “It’s a family name” goes a long way to explain. Yet I feel reluctant to add a Henry or a Theodore here: in another sibling group it would be different, but after an Atlas and a Gwendolyn they seem like they lack a certain SNAP. I am turning to the Exotic Traditionals section of The Baby Name Wizard to find some snap:

Aidric Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Aidric
Alistair Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Alistair
Augustus Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Augustus
Barnaby Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Barnaby
Dashiell Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Dashiell
Jasper Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Jasper
Justice Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Justice
Malachi Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Malachi
Phineas Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Phineas

I’m not sure about Augustus: it repeats the first and last letters of Atlas. Alistair, too, involves some repetition of sounds. But I still liked them both, so I left them on. More suggestions:

Broderick Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Broderick
Desmond Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Desmond
Hugo Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Hugo
Judah Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Judah
Lachlan Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Lachlan
Merritt Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Merritt
Sebastian Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Sebastian
Solomon Fox; Atlas, Gwendolyn, and Solomon

Or I wonder if you might find something else way back in the family tree? It would be fun if all the names were family names.

Name update:

Hi Swistle,
We had our baby boy Fox on March 29th! It’s taken a while reply because of a little ppd and a lot of travel with 3 small children (not recommended). But we named him Malcolm Henry and he weighted in at 7 lbs 5 oz – exactly the same weight as both his brother and sister. I really liked the suggestions everyone gave and decided to dig deeper into our family tree and found a Malcolm on both sides. We call him Mack for short, or Mackie as our two year old loves to say.

Thank you for all your help!

K

Dear Swistle,
I need your help in naming our first two children. My name is Sarah and my husband’s is Timothy. We are from Singapore ( i havent seen anyone who has written to you from Singapore yet!! ) and we’ve recently found out the babies are boy girl twins but need some help in finding the perfect names for these two babies! Our last name is Kim with an L. The babies’ estimated due date is in mid May. We particularly need help in finding a girl’s name!!

We love traditional, classic, biblical, and timeless names with a positive meaning and connection to it. We really dont favour made-up, modern, unusual names that sound made up. In Singapore, most parents dont take into consideration ‘ popular / over used ‘ names ( in the charts from the US, UK, Western countries, etc ) because the top names from the Western countries are quite different from the top names in Singapore.

We have a few rules :
– no names that carry negative meanings / history / connections
– no names ( for both boys and girls ) that start with B, P, Q, U, V, X and Z.
– no names that sound too kiddish / names that seem strange on a teenager, adult, grandmother / grandfather
– no names that are too long, preferably under 6, 7 letters
– ** no too modern names / names that sound too made up

So far, our top contenders for boys are ( in no particular order ) :
– Noah
– Evan ( love this name )
– Ewan ( like this name too, but worried of possible name calling because of first 2 letters, ew etc )
– Nathan
– Aden / Aaden ( we love these 2 spellings, cant decide on either yet but we dislike other spellings like ‘ aiden ‘ also, a very popular name for boys, in singapore )
– William
– Shane
– Matthew
– Liam ( love this name, a little worried about it though; in singapore, people tend to mispronounce such names when speaking singlish, because of this culture / local language, i forsee him being made fun of / being called ‘ Leeyyaam ‘ ( in one syllable ) which can sound pretty awful )

So far, the top contenders for girl names are :
– Laura ( really love love this name )
– Hannah ( quite a popular name for girls here )
– Anna ( * love it as anna, no annabelle, annalise etc )
– Emma ( same with anna, we really dislike emmaline etc )
– Lauren ( we dont like this name as much as the rest of the names on this list, but we dont dislike it either. We’d much prefer Laura to Lauren, mostly because Lauren is too modern and dosent sound as classic and timeless as Laura )
– Tessa ( we like this name, but it sounds a little too modern to us. We’ve considered Theresa, but it just sounds too old and outdated )
– Olivia ( really starting to love the name and can actually picture our daughter being named this )

Names not totally sold on but still in the running include :
– Leah ( has a bad meaning to it – ‘ weak ‘ but we really like the soft, gentle sound of it )
– Alexis ( does it sound too boy- like or violent? )
– Isaac ( dont love it as much as the rest of the boy names but like the strong and decisive sound to it )
– Oliver ( really like the classic and originality behind it but it dosent really fit for us so far )
– Laurent ( boy ) – does it sound too made up?
– Aven ( love the sound, pronounced ‘ ay-venn ‘ not totally sold on because it sounds made up )

Middle name contenders :
– Gabriel
– Gilen
– Faith
– Joshua
– Theo
– Ashton ( not sure about this one )
– Asher
– Ian / Iann
( as you might tell we are having trouble coming up with a suitable middle name for our daughter )

Names we that were in the list but veoted because of reasons :
– August
– Finn ( too rhym-y with surname )

I apologise for the super long post but Swistle we really need your help!! We are very open and more than happy to hear your suggestions and your reader’s suggestions too!
Just an important note, we dont have the same tradition in the western countries where you use family members’ / grandparents names as a way to honour them, but it is not like that, here in Singapore.
Thank you for your help, Swistle and Readers, we appreciate it and cant wait to hear your suggestions!!

Sincerely,
Sarah and Timothy

Here are some of the pairings I like:

Evan and Laura
Nathan and Laura
William and Hannah
William and Olivia
Matthew and Emma
Isaac and Hannah
Oliver and Emma
Laura and William
Hannah and Evan
Hannah and Matthew
Anna and Matthew
Anna and William

I have William in that list a lot, because it’s one of my own favorites and because I like it with a lot of your girl-name choices. I’m concerned, though, about how it sounds with the surname. I’m even more concerned about Liam with the surname; combined with your comments about pronunciation issues, I left Liam out of the running entirely.

For middle names, here are my favorite boy-name combinations:

Noah Gabriel (NGL)
Evan Gabriel (EGL)
Evan Joshua (EJL)
Nathan Gabriel (NGL)
Nathan Joshua (NJL)
Nathan Asher (NAL)
Aden Gabriel (ADL)
Aden Joshua (AJL)
William Joshua (WJL)
Matthew Gabriel (MGL)

The only middle name option so far for girls is Faith, which I think sounds fine with any of the girl names. I also like combinations such as:

Laura Jane (LJL)
Laura Naomi (LNL)
Hannah Jane (HJL)
Anna Grace (AGL)
Anna Ruth (ARL)
Emma Jean (EJL)
Lauren Elizabeth (LEL)
Tessa Mae (TML)
Olivia Joy (OJL)

Based on your comments on the names, I think my top choices are:

Evan Joshua and Laura Jane
Evan Joshua and Olivia Joy

Name update:

Hi Swistle!

Its Sarah and Timothy sending our regards from Singapore! We’re back to give you an update on our twin babies and of course, their names!

We proudly welcomed our healthy twins yesterday morning, 12th May. After countless sleepless nights and grueling discussions we finally decided that Tessa, Emma and Anna were not good middle names because they felt too sing-songy with the first name Laura, though we do really love those names.
Shane, Joshua and Matthew were too, middle names we really wanted our boy to own, because they held a special significance to us. It was particularly agonizing deciding between Shane and Evan as first name,

Well, all that agony was worth it, because we’re finally proud to welcome Laura Olivia and Evan Shane into our new family!!

Here’s to you for your helpful insights and of course, not forgetting the readers who gave great suggestions, it all meant so much to us! We are absolutely satisfied and at peace with Laura and Evans’ names!

Thank you!

Sincerely,
Sarah and Timothy