Dear Swistle,

I’m excited to be writing to you after reading for years! My husband (Joe) and I (Louisa) are expecting our first child (a boy) in early November. The baby will have my husband’s last name, pronounced MOOSE-oh.

When we started to talk about names, we agreed on a girl’s name right away that we’re going to save for a future daughter – Philippa Grace, nicknamed Pip or Pippa. Other girls’ names we like include Lydia and Eloise. Finding the right boy’s name for THIS baby is much harder! We’ll likely stop at two, max three children.

My favorite for this baby is Jonathan. I think that it feels serious and somewhat classic while still giving plenty of options from childhood to adulthood – Jonathan, Jack, Jonny, Jon. My husband doesn’t like the spelling of Jonathan (he’d be more open to Johnathan, which I think looks strange and would prompt a lot of correcting over the course of our son’s life!). I also like Kenneth (Ken or Kenny), Charles (Charlie), and Nathaniel (Nate) – these are all vetoed by my husband.

My husband’s favorite is Jack as a standalone first name. He likes the sound, that it feels masculine, and that there are some family connections on his side. To me, Jack feels like a nickname, not a full name. His other favorites included Declan, Aidan and Cormac (all vetoed by me).

Other names we’re considering are Dominic (nn Nico), John (nn Jack), Connor, and Dean. We’re stuck disagreeing on John because we both feel so strongly about Jack/Jonathan and neither Dean, Connor, or Dominic feels quite right so far.

Middle names we are considering are Louis (we like that this echoes my first name, and combined with John or Jonathan would be an homage to John Lewis, who is one of our heroes), Douglass, and Xavier. We don’t like any of these for first names.

Other names we’ve ruled out as first names are Kent, Patrick, George, Cameron, Maxwell, Quinn, Scott, Seamus, Caleb, Lee, and Adam

We’re not down with names that are super trendy and we’ve also love to stay out of the top 20 if we can.

Thanks for your help!

Louisa

I am of two minds. First mind: I think the two of you are going to have to abandon the entire Jonathan/Johnathan/Jack/John branch. The Johnathan spelling seems problematic to me, too; it would certainly be manageable if you both agreed on it and were willing to take on the hassle, but not if one of you doesn’t like it. And I don’t think of Jack as a nickname for either spelling. And your feelings about Jack seeming like a nickname rather than a given name need to be taken into account. Plus, while it is too old and familiar a name to be called trendy, its recent usage has felt trendy to me: it joined Max and Sam in a late-1990s resurgence of short-boy-names-that-used-to-seem-like-old-man-names. Fashionable, that’s the word I’m looking for: it’s not trendy, but it’s recently been very fashionable.

But this is my second mind: Wait, why isn’t John-nicknamed-Jack the perfect solution here? It removes the Jonathan/Johnathan spelling issue. It offers a beautiful compromise for the “he wants Jack but it seems like a nickname to you” issue. It takes care of Swistle’s possibly overly-strict objection to Jack as a nickname for Jonathan/Johnathan. It reminds you of John Lewis, and both of you like that connection. It’s not trendy; it’s not in the top 20. It’s great with your surname; it’s great with all your possible future daughter names. It goes well with Louis, and I love the reasons for using Louis. I mean, it seems like we’re done here. Aren’t we done here?

If we are not done here, then I’d note that I see a lot of hard-C and K sounds in the names on your lists: Kenneth, Declan, Cormac, Dominic, Nico, Connor. I wonder if you’d like:

Aidric
Broderick
Calvin
Clark
Frederick
Isaac
Karl
Kendrick
Kieran
Nicholas
Oscar
Quentin

Or instead of Jonathan, would you like Benjamin? The two names seem very similar to me: same syllables, same rhythm, same nickname potential; both have prominent J-sounds and N-sounds; both end in N. Ben is one of my favorite nicknames for boys: it sounds friendly and reliable.

More possibilities:

Desmond
Edmund
Grant
Harrison
Henry
Oliver
Simon

Name update:

Dear Swistle,

Thank you for taking our question – I’m writing with an update on our baby boy! You and your readers were almost 100% united on a name – we were really struck by the degree to which everyone enthused about John Louis, nickname Jack, as the perfect solution to our dilemma. In hindsight I think we were looking for reassurance that John Louis wasn’t too staid and that we weren’t overlooking another great option, but clearly we should have trusted our gut so thank you and your readers for giving us confidence! John Louis (Jack to his friends!) was born on Monday and we are already calling him Crackerjack, Johnnycake, Johnny-on-the-Spot, Jack-in-the-Box …. etc.

Thanks, Swistle!

Louisa

Help! I’m due in 2 weeks and cannot settle on a girls name for this baby. If it’s a boy, we’ve picked the name James Patrick (James is a name we like and Patrick is my husband’s name). We have a 2 year old named Rose Evelyn (we liked the name Rose and Evelyn was my husbands paternal grandmothers name).

To me, Rose Evelyn is the perfect name for us. Sounds great with our last name (Doherty; we pronounce it door-tee), easily recognizable but not overly common as a first time, and you cannot tell the age of the person just by seeing their name.

We had picked the name Claire Eloise out if we had another daughter, but my brother-in-law just used Claire for his daughter, so that’s off the table now.

Our two finalists are:

May Emmeline (not after any family members) or

Eloise Margaret (Eloise after my mom who’s middle name is Louise and Margaret after my mother-in-law).

My main criteria are a classic, non-trendy name that is timeless. Other names I like that have been vetoed by my husband are: Fiona, Lucy, Florence, Alice and Margot.

Any other suggestions?! Which name do you like best and why? Thank you!

-Anne

The name I like best is May. Here is why:

1. It’s a name that, like Rose, is more familiar as a middle name, and a fresh surprise as a first name.

2. It’s one syllable, like Rose and the possible future brother James.

3. Like the name Rose, it’s a name that gives me a feeling of sweet simplicity.

4. It has completely different sounds than the name Rose, while matching beautifully in style.

But I also love the name Eloise. Here’s why:

1. If you later have a James, you’d have three names in which an S is pronounced like a Z. I wouldn’t put that as a huge selling point (and in fact it could be seen as a downside), but it could be fun.

2. It won’t make you feel trapped into using only one-syllable names for possible future siblings.

3. Like the name Rose, it’s a name that has some sass to it.

4. You’ve paired it with Margaret, and I like that each girl gets a family name.

My favorite of all would be to take May and pair it with a family middle name. I don’t always like alliteration, but I feel drawn to May Margaret. I like to say it. I am picturing the baby, and I would call her May Margaret.

Or I also love May Louise. My mom and I feel that Louise is the winner for Most Fun to Say middle names. Rose Evelyn and May Louise is spectacular.

Name update:

Thanks so much for all the great responses! To our surprise, this baby did indeed turn out to be a girl!! We went back and forth for a few hours between Eloise and May, but decided on May after the midwife mentioned she had delivered another Eloise this week (plus the overwhelmingly positive responses on here)! As for the middle name, I decided to let my mom choose…I figured no better way to honour her than that! So May Emmeline it is! Thank you so much Swistle and followers for your help!

Dear Swistle,

I’m hoping you can provide me with some much needed baby naming clarity. I’m currently pregnant with my third child and having the most difficult time coming up with a name. My pregnancy has been chaotic- I currently have nearly 3 year old twins and we started trying for our third while we were undergoing a major construction project on our home. Naturally we got pregnant much more quickly than we ever thought possible for us and here I am 9 months pregnant, house in complete disarray and very much discouraged by the fact that I cannot come up with a baby girl name that feels right. It would give me much comfort to feel as though I at least had a plan when it came to naming our newest addition.

Our darling twins are named Maya Elyse and Benjamin Asher. Our last name is pronounced phonetically as Or-lee.

Our third is a girl, and I love girl names that feel feminine but simple with some charm to them.

I originally loved Corinne, however my husband is concerned because acquaintances of ours who happen to live in our neighborhood have a 3 year old by the same name. It doesn’t bother me, but much to my dismay he feels very preoccupied about it.

My runner-up choice has been Isla with a middle name of Rose. I have two concerns, the first being pronunciation issues as it is not terribly well known in our part of the country and the second being whether it mimics the vowel sounds of Maya too closely. Also, maybe it’s too trendy?

Other names we have tossed around:

Abigail (husband loves)
Naomi (both of us are ok with this one)
Chloe (same deal as Naomi)
Ella (before the Clooneys nearly certainly doomed it to be even more ubiquitous than it already is)
Iris (we like it but I worry it’s too stuffy?7

I’m so interested in your input on our name selections and would be equally enthused to see any new suggestions you had to work nicely with our existing children’s names.

Wish me luck! Im scheduled to be induced on July 18th! Thank you very much in advance for any help you might be able to offer!

Alison

Maya and Isla do feel very similar to me. They look so different, but when I say them aloud I get an almost-rhyme feeling. Isla Rose brings Lida Rose to mind, which could be a plus or a minus or neither.

I think Corinne is great with Maya. It bothers me a little bit that the ending is similar to Benjamin, but I don’t think that would bother me long-term. The acquaintance thing wouldn’t bother me. It bothers me a little that it repeats the -or- sound in the surname, but for others that would be a plus: Corinne Or-lee.

Would it help the acquaintance issue to use Corinna or Karenna?

Or Celeste is a similar style to Corinne, while being a very different name. Celeste Or-lee; Maya, Benjamin, and Celeste.

Camille is another such option. Camille Or-lee; Maya, Benjamin, and Camille.

From your list, my favorite is Naomi. I find it a little difficult to say with the surname, but not at deal-breaking levels.

I don’t think Iris is stuffy, but I am increasingly aware of the difficulties of your surname. Iris Or-lee blends into Ira Sorely. Not that that’s a big deal, but it bugs me a little.

I wonder if you’d like Eliza. Similar to Ella in sound and Abigail in style, but less common than either. Eliza Or-lee; Maya, Benjamin, and Eliza.

Or Fiona. Fiona Or-lee; Maya, Benjamin, and Fiona.

If you don’t mind repeating initials, I like Bianca. Bianca Or-lee; Maya, Benjamin, and Bianca.

Sabrina. Sabrina Or-lee; Maya, Benjamin, and Sabrina.

Simone. Simone Or-lee; Maya, Benjamin, and Simone.

Linnea. Linnea Or-lee; Maya, Benjamin, and Linnea.

Rose. Rose Or-lee; Maya, Benjamin, and Rose.

Stella. Is that too much L? Stella Or-lee; Maya, Benjamin, and Stella.

Juliet. Juliet Or-lee; Maya, Benjamin, and Juliet.

Claudia. Claudia Or-lee; Maya, Benjamin, and Claudia.

Nadia. Nadia Or-lee; Maya, Benjamin, and Nadia. I really like that.

Name update:

Dear Swistle,

I wanted to express many thanks to you and your readers who really helped me with their contributions! Baby girl was born July 18 and after sleeping on it for a night, we decided on Naomi Rose Or-lee.  She’s happy, healthy and completely living up to the Hebrew meaning of her name (which is “pleasant”).  Maya and Ben are head over heels for her and the last 48 hours has been spent happily refereeing who gets to hold her next.

Thank you again- what a lovely community this is, especially when working through a rather stressful decision!

Very sincerely,

Alison Or-lee

Dear Swistle,

I am emailing you after being an avid fan of your blog for years. You’ve taught me how to look at names differently (how they go together, how to choose a name), yet on this go-around I can’t seem to get it right.

We are having our last child due on August 16. Our last name is German and sounds like “mailmen” with some extra letters thrown in there. Our current children are N@than (N@te) C@rter, Cl@ra Ele@nor, and 1vy C@roline. I desperately want the names to “go together,” so that is how I began approaching the task of naming our fourth (a boy). I ended up on the name Peter Everett as a top choice, but my husband and I just didn’t feel like it was “the one.” This is pretty common for me. I changed both of our girls’ names very near the end of each of their pregnancies.

The hard part is the constraints of our last name. I feel like I can’t name him with a “B” name (for the initials), can’t end in an “N,” “M,” or “S” (don’t go well with last name), can’t start with an “M” (too many M sounds), can’t be a verb or adjective like “Reid” or “Gray” (sound silly with the last name). Also, the last name is super hard to spell, so I don’t want the first name to be. I don’t like unisex names at all. We like Biblical, timeless, or antique charm names and want our boy names to sound good together. I especially want the baby’s name and 1vy’s name to sound good together, since they are the closest in age (7 year gap between 2nd and 3rd), and I feel like I will be saying “1vy ‘n’ ___” so much.

Current contenders are:
Peter
Everett
Leo
Theo
Jed (husband’s choice)
Grant
Jack
Joseph

Middle names are not as hard for me. I like Everett and Theodore and will probably use one of those if they work.

I wanted 1vy to be named Everett if she was a boy, and that is still my favorite name. I put it into the middle name spot for Peter because I really do love it. I just don’t know if 1vy and Everett go well together as first names. Are they too similar? Should we just go with the “safer” choice of Peter even though we don’t love it?

Any advice would be so helpful. His room (and crib) is still occupied by his 3-year-old sister, so we just have nothing done for this little surprise and I’m starting to be so stressed!

Katie “Mailmen”

I think 1vy and Everett sound great together. They repeat only the V-sound: all their other sounds are different, and they have a different number of syllables. I think it achieves the goal of having the final two names sound particularly compatible. And Everett is your favorite boy name. And it meets all the other requirements. Everett seems like the winner to me.

But Peter is also terrific. Really, I love either Everett or Peter in this group. N@than, Cl@ra, 1vy, Everett. N@than, Cl@ra, 1vy, Peter. They’re both charming options. I would THINK I’d prefer the name Everett, but when I look at the two groupings I have trouble letting go of the name Peter.

I don’t see any reason to go with the name Peter if you prefer the name Everett. It doesn’t seem safer to me; they both seem like good solid choices with their own pluses and minuses. Peter has more of a timeless/biblical/traditional feel; Everett is more of a current vintage revival / antique charm.

I wonder if you’d like the name John. It’s timeless/biblical, and it’s a name I think parents’ eyes tend to skip right over in the baby name book: it feels common because it’s been so consistently used over the years, but it’s fairly unusual among current children. Many of the boys named John are going by Jack, or else they’re John IV so they’re going by something else. N@than, Cl@ra, 1vy, and John.

Or Henry? N@than, Cl@ra, 1vy, and Henry.

Or Elliot: it’s similar to Everett, but doesn’t repeat the V-sound of 1vy. N@than, Cl@ra, 1vy, and Elliot. One downside is the spelling: one or two L’s, one or two T’s.

Or maybe David? Definitely timeless/biblical, and easy to spell. I’m trying to think if there are ANY Davids among the kids’ classmates, and I can only think of one. It repeats the V-sound in 1vy, tying it in; but the strong consonants keep it from seeming too similar. And the long-A ties it to his brother’s name. N@than, Cl@ra, 1vy, and David.

Name Update:

I want to thank everyone who responded to my post while I was struggling to name Baby #4.  The post, along with all of the comments, has been printed and will go in the baby book so I can fondly remember the naming process for this little one!  I read each comment and appreciated them so much!  The first name ended up being a decision between Everett and Peter.  I appreciated the feedback that “1vy and Everett” did not sound too similar when said together.  The most helpful advice, though, was from the mothers who actually already had a Peter.  Their advice that the name Peter was a well-received name helped put me more at ease to use it.  It started to feel like the right name to me, and I’m happy to say that my husband also agreed!  Our son, Peter Everett Mailmen, arrived on August 17, 2017.  He was 9 lbs. and 21 inches.  He was warmly welcomed by siblings N@te (11), Cl@ra (10), and 1vy (3).  We love the name, and it suits him very well.

Hi Swistle,
I’ve been reading your blog all the way from Australia for a couple of years and now I need your help! My husband and I are expecting our first child – a boy – on August 29. We’ve had a solid list of names picked out that we both like for months. My husband has vetoed a lot of names that I love, including Harrison. But just the other day, he said he’s changed his mind and now he really likes Harrison and wants it on the list! Only problem is, I can’t think of a middle name to go with it. Ideally, we’d like a family name from my side. The options include:

Ian – my favourite as it’s my dad’s name. I’m worried about how it flows with Harrison though as they both end in the letter N. Am I overthinking this?!

John

Francis

Ronald

Patrick – this is on our list of first names too, and could be an honour name for my grandmother, Patricia.

Our last name is pronounced Killarney but spelt differently.

Other first names on our list include:

Alexander
Owen
Patrick

Names we’ve considered but have decided not to use:

Asher
Nicholas
Nathaniel
Heath
Jude

If this baby were a girl, she would have been called Eliza, Nina, Layla or Tessa.

We are planning to have one more child after this one.

Any reassurance or feedback would be greatly appreciated!

I promise to send an update with a photo once he’s born.

Many thanks,

Louise

This makes for a shortish post, but I vote for Ian. It doesn’t bother me at all that Harrison and Ian both end in N. And it’s your top choice too. And it honors your dad. Winning all around.

John also ends in N and is also a nice choice.

In fact, ALL the names on your list are nice choices. For me it depends a lot on who’s being honored, and how much you want to honor that person. I think that’s how I’d narrow it down, if I were you: since all the names are good choices, rank them in order of how much it makes your heart pound with happiness to think of honoring the people the names represent. Who would you rather honor, your dad or your grandmother?—and so on.

Name update:

Thank you Swistle and everyone who commented! Our beautiful son arrived on August 28. We were totally ready and excited to call him Harrison after you eased our minds, but when we saw his little face we knew he was an Alexander, a name we have loved for over a decade – in fact it was the first baby name we spoke about when we were dating.

So introducing Alexander Ian Killarney. My dad was so honoured by the middle name he cried!

Dear Swistle,

My sister introduced me to your blog when I was pregnant for the first time about 2.5 years ago and I’ve been following ever since. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve reconsidered my approval for a name after hearing you suggest it. You have a way of making me think twice about names I would have otherwise bypassed – which is why I’m writing to you now.

My husband and I are due with our second in October. We already have a sweet and funny toddler named Jacob (usually call him Jake or Jakey) and we found out we’re having a girl this time!

We have two front-runner names that we love: Clara and Alana. Clara is a loose nod to my maiden name, Sincl@ir. We like both names because they aren’t overly popular right now – unlike Jacob – and they are names that have existed for years. We also clearly have an affinity for names that end in “A”.

Here is where our issues begin. We are struggling to choose between the two, and we are really struggling with a middle name for Clara. If we pick Alana she will be Alana Claire. If we pick Clara we have considered Clara Rose (both of our paternal grandmothers are Rose) but that feels like I’m leaving out my maternal grandmother (Ruth) who passed just a few years ago. I would love to honor my sister Stephanie who does not have children, but I’m not loving the flow of “Clara Stephanie.” My other sister, Courtney, honored my mother, Gayl, by giving her daughter the middle name “Abigail”. I’ll save you the pain of listing all of my extended family members.

I’m less focused on my husband’s side only because Jacob’s middle name is a family name on his side so I’d love to honor my side this time. If I were having another boy, we’d have probably used Stephen (my dad) as the middle.

Do you have any tips for finding a honor/meaningful middle-name when there isn’t an obvious choice? And how do we choose between two names we love!!? Do you support coin-flipping? Should we let our elderly social security volunteer at the hospital choose? ;) Help!

Thank you!!!

Clara Rose seems perfect to me: both of you having paternal grandmothers named Rose is such a fun coincidence and makes it nearly irresistible to me, as well as qualifying it for the title of The Obvious Choice. Not including your other grandmother doesn’t seem like an argument against the name, since it applies to every name except Ruth—and if you went with Clara Ruth, you’d be leaving out your grandmother Rose. Unless you’re open to using Clara Stephanie Rose Courtney Ruth, you’re not going to pack everyone in there and that’s perfectly normal and okay.

I do also like Clara Ruth, very much.

And I like the sound of Clara Stephanie, too. I find the more I say it, the more I like to say it. I also like that it is more clearly an honor name: Rose is a common middle name right now, so I wouldn’t necessarily guess that it was in honor of anyone; but if I heard a Clara Stephanie, I’d think, “I’ll bet she’s named for an aunt!,” and I’d find a casual way to ask if you had any sisters. You could count it as a double honor name if your sister was named for your dad (or even if she wasn’t).

Are you planning to have more children? I am asking not only to be nosy, but also to wonder if using Alana Claire would rule out using Clara for a possible future daughter. It is very hard to make this kind of decision: I agonized over whether we should give Henry our two favorite boy names—we were pretty sure he was our last baby, but what if we had another boy later and were sorry to have used both names up? It’s especially tricky because if we DID have another boy at this point, I’m not sure we’d still want to use that name we were worried about “wasting.” (To be fair to Past Swistle, it’s ten years later now: at the two-year point I still would have wanted the name.)

If you’re not planning any more children, though, Clara Alana is another option. I don’t always like an -a/A- combination, but I do in this case—and I rarely mind it with a first/middle anyway.

If you’re not planning more children and you decide on Alana as the first name, I like Alana Sincl@ir. I am heart-eyed over mothers being able to use their maiden names in their children’s names, and yours is such a pretty one.

I also support coin-flipping, or putting a poll on Facebook for your family/friends to take, or asking strangers at the grocery store (or on a name blog!) what they think, or any other fun games you might think of. If nothing else, this sort of thing can help you see where your actual preferences lie: are you rooting for one name over the other in a poll, or are you saying “…how about best two out of three” when the coin falls? These things can provide such useful information. Or, if you find you really don’t have a preference, then you know you can use either one; perhaps you’ll want to take both names to the hospital and decide once you see her.

Name update:

Hi Swistle,

I wanted to thank you for your naming help this summer and give you a name update for our little girl.

When we wrote, we had been deciding between two names:
1. Clara + unknown middle name, and
2. Alana Claire

Your response, and your readers, made us feel like Clara Stephanie (middle name after my sister) was the perfect choice. But, about a month after I wrote my cousin had a baby girl and named her Clare. We hemmed and hawed for several weeks, and ultimately decided that we were uncomfortable with two very similarly named children who would only be 3 months apart. This cousin is the only one on my maternal side, and ironically, my sister’s daughter already shares a name with Clare’s dog-sibling. So it was just too close.

The loss of the name Clara also made my husband and I realize that although Alana Claire was a definite 2nd runner in the name game, it didn’t feel like the one.

So, we bought more name books and started over. After another month of deliberation in the Longest Naming of a Child Ever, we are happy to share that our daughter, Alex@ndra Claire “Allie” joined our family on October 11.

Thank you for all of your help! We were really grateful for your assistance and excited to read every comment that came in.

Hello Swistle!

I am desperately seeking some guidance and creativity in naming our second born son, which we are due with on 8/2/17. We haven’t received the most positive feedback on our top contenders (see below) which isn’t a deal breaker if we were truly sold on any of the names but also both me and my husband have a slight suspicion that we maybe haven’t found THE name yet. I also feel like I already ran the well dry on male names we like when we named our first born. For some reason, I feel very inspired by girl names, if we were ever to have one and have ideas in droves but always come up short with another male name.

My name is Maggie and my husband is Brett. Our surname is Knight. We have a son, Graham Townes. We are seeking a boy name with a complimentary feel to our first’s- meaning a classic sounding but not common name that we will then pair with a more unique, less common middle name for some individuality. I like that all three of our names now have different sounds/endings and are heavy on the consonants- we are hoping to continue this with son #2.

A few things we don’t want:
A name that ends in N due to blending of that sound with the beginning of our last name if that makes sense
Anything super common or top 100
A name that tries to sound like a classic name but isn’t (i.e. Grayson, Jayden, Jace, Brinley)
Anything long enough to require a nickname- would rather just use the shorter name that I like. I’m a Maggie and not a Margaret for that reason per my parents :)

A few we do:
Something perhaps more gender neutral
Different initials than we already have (not set in stone, just a general sentiment)

Contenders (feedback appreciated):
Noel (male pronunciation)- love how this sounds but we hear from everyone that he would be constantly confused with the female pronunciation of this name.
Cary
Leland
Fletcher
Rudy
Spencer
Morgan- breaks our “ends in N” rule so might not work?

Female names we love (in case we were to have a girl, a third child is something we will likely try for):
Maude
Nell
Trudy
Tess
Laurel
Rhiannon
Wendy

I have only thought of one potential middle name at this rate and it is Madden (my dad’s middle name and his mother’s maiden name). What else is in the same vein as Townes?

Hoping you can help us think of something that hasn’t been brought up yet or validate any of the contenders we have. We would love any ideas and are open to considering! I had a nightmare last night that we brought the baby home and months in were still staring at him wide-eyed with no name. Obviously, those are the hormones talking but am getting desperate to fall in love and it feels like my time is borrowed.

Thanks for any help you can provide! Happy Summer!
xoxo Maggie Knight

Let’s begin with a moment of silence in which we clench our teeth at the way our society loves “boyish”/unisex names for girls but not so much “girlish”/unisex names for boys. Then let’s see what we can do with the reality we’ve got.

Part of the package deals of the names Cary and Noel would be their periodic confusion with the more familiar names Carrie and Noelle. Some parents would mind this very much and for the sake of their blood pressure should not use those names for boys; other parents would be able to do a genuinely casual and friendly “Actually, it’s Cary—like Cary Grant” or “Actually, it’s Noel—the male version of Noelle” or whatever, and move on with their lives without thinking much about it.

Another issue with Noel, I think, is that the number one most popular boy name in the United States right now is Noah; with Noel at #380, people’s ears are sometimes going to hear Noah instead. Again, some parents would be tearing their hair out over this, and others would say “Oh—no, it’s Noel” and it would be zero big deal.

Another tiny issue with Cary is that with Graham I think of Cary Grant. Which is a positive association, and which is very unlikely to come up or be an issue, but I am in the mood to be thorough.

Leland is a fresh one to consider; I sat here with my coffee for several minutes, staring into space. I don’t think I’ve encountered a Leland in real life, so I was visualizing the name on various of my kids’ friends. It sure SHOULD work: the similarity to the very popular Liam and Landon, just for starters. I think you might be able to avoid the nickname Lee, but the child himself might choose to go by it later. I have a little trouble saying Leland with the surname Knight: the d/n transition is tricky.

Fletcher seems good. It feels like a different style than Graham, but a compatible one.

Rudy seems a little casual with Graham, but not startlingly so. It would rule out Trudy for a possible future girl.

Spencer is my favorite from this list: Spencer Tracy gives this name the vintage Hollywood appeal of Cary Grant. And it feels just right with Graham. Spencer is my favorite from the list. Spencer Madden Knight; Graham and Spencer. Yes.

Part of the package deal of the name Morgan is its unisex nature, so let’s take a closer look at that. In 2016, the name Morgan was #643 for boys and #133 for girls; it was used for 407 new baby boys and 2,319 new baby girls. At those usage levels, I would expect the typical person to be aware of the unisex usage but to be more likely to err on the side of guessing girl—though Morgan Freeman helps us out here. I think the combination of Morgan and Knight is fine: I think it would come naturally to leave a tiny pause between the names to keep them from running together. The running-together issue bothers me mostly when it leads to a misunderstanding of what the name is: for example, Nolan Knight could sound like Nola Knight.

My favorites from your list are Spencer, Fletcher, and Rudy. More possibilities to consider:

Alistair. Alistair Knight; Graham and Alistair.
August. August Knight; Graham and August.
Brooks. Brooks Knight; Graham and Brooks.
Ellis. Ellis Knight; Graham and Ellis.
Elliot. Elliot Knight; Graham and Elliot.
Harvey. Harvey Knight; Graham and Harvey.
Jasper. Jasper Knight; Graham and Jasper.
Miles. Miles Knight; Graham and Miles.
Quincy. Quincy Knight; Graham and Quincy.
Reid. Reid Knight; Graham and Reid.
Rhys. Rhys Knight; Graham and Rhys.
Wesley. Wesley Knight; Graham and Wesley.

I am not sure about some of these with the surname; some of them seem a little hard to say.

I searched with unisex names in mind, but I didn’t find many that were the right style. Cary and Noel feel right with Graham; Jaden and Riley don’t have that same fit. Jules, maybe? Jules Knight; Graham and Jules.

I think Madden is a great family middle name. Is Townes also a family name? If so, and if Madden doesn’t work with the chosen first name, I’d look for another family name. If not, I’d browse other similar surname names: Hayes, Ames, Brooks, Bryce, etc. Or, if you decide against Cary/Noel/Jules for the first name, they might work as middle names.

Name update:

Hello!

Thanks again for all of your help in naming our son. We read through each comment and the name Clark made its way onto our list. After our son was born, we spent a few hours with him and hacked away slowly at our name list. Clark felt so right for his sweet face and demeanor.

Clark Forrest Knight
Born 8/8/17

Thanks again to you and your readers for helping in our dilemma!
Maggie Knight

Dear Swistle,

I am a little ways out still, due in August, but don’t see us getting any closer to a name. It’s not that we are so in love with these top names, but just can commit, or omit any of them for some reason. Desperately looking for another opinion, and still open to adding more to our list. I love reading your suggestions and reasoning for why names work!

This is our first baby, boy. Our last name is Keller. That makes it’s a little difficult, since I want the first name to have a solid ending…and not to end in “ER.”

We are hoping to use a family name for the middle name, and will choose which one based upon how boring/traditional/common or off the wall the first name is. James, Petersen (some form of it; Pete, Peters, Peter), or Baldwin. My husband and I both have longer formal names, and then nicknames and I like that option, but not a must. I really like the trendy traditional names, but I feel like the ones I like are getting overused and aren’t as rare.

We can’t use; Charlie, John, Jack, Luke, Bo or Teddy.

Our current list includes;

William/ Liam: I was excited about a more unique name that comes from a very comfortable and traditional name.

Finnick/Finn: I am worried this is getting a little too popular, and Finley being used now for girls

Thomas: Too safe, and too popular?

Wyatt: Love it, no negatives, other than no nickname can come from it

Crawford/Ford: If he will always go by Ford, silly to have Crawford?

Brooks

Owen

Graham: Too long, with nothing to shorten it to?

Thanks in advance for your help and assistance!

Let’s start with the Social Security Administration rankings. The name Liam is the second most popular boy name in the United States as of 2016, one notch higher than William at #3.

Finn, on the other hand, was the #175th most popular boy name in 2016. You’re right that it’s rising; here are the rankings for the five years before that:

2011: #302
2012: #291
2013: #251
2014: #234
2015: #209

And here are the rest of the name rankings (all for 2016):

Thomas: #48
Wyatt: #33
Crawford: (not in the Top 1000 for 2016)
Ford: #712
Brooks: #231
Owen: #23
Graham: #179

This is a pretty big spread, popularity-wise: from Crawford (56 new baby boys given the name in 2016) to Liam (18,138 new baby boys given the name in 2016). I don’t recommend making naming decisions based too strongly on popularity, but I think it’s a factor to take into account. On the other hand, all of the names on your list, despite the popularity spread, are familiar and not difficult to imagine pairing with other names from the list.

And in fact, imagining those pairings can be a good way to narrow things down a bit. I suggest making a list of brother pairs from your list, and seeing which ones stand out to your more or feel more like “your kids.” Do you find you’re more drawn to William and Owen, or more drawn to Ford and Brooks, or more drawn to Graham and Wyatt?

I see what you mean about the difficulty in choosing one or eliminating any: I find as I’m sitting here staring at the list, nothing is leaping out at me as one I’d cross off or as one I want to push you to use. I think it’s that you have a good solid list of names and can’t really go wrong here.

Paul and I had a similar situation when naming Henry: we got it down to 7 names and then we were having trouble cutting it down any further. The method we used was this: we each took the list and we ranked the names—but we could rank as many as we wanted at each ranking. That is not a very clear description; here is the kind of thing we ended up with after doing this exercise:

One parent’s list:
William 1
Wyatt 1
Owen 1
Graham 2
Thomas 2
Finn 2
Brooks 3
Crawford 3

The other parent’s list:
Owen 1
Wyatt 1
Finn 2
Crawford 2
Graham 2
Brooks 3
William 3
Thomas 3

So, comparing those lists, the parents can say to each other, “Well, it looks like Brooks is not going to win out: we love it, but it’s going to lose to other names no matter what” and “Well, we both have Owen and Wyatt as #1, so I think we should consider those more seriously.” Any name where both parents ranked it a #1, or where one parent ranked it a #1 and the other parent ranked it a #2: those should be moved up the list. Any name where both parents ranked it a #3, or where one parent ranked it a #2 and the other parent ranked it a #3: those can probably be safely removed from the list. If the parents’ lists are basically in reverse order from each other, I’d focus on the names that both parents ranked a #2.

I hesitate to add MORE names to your list—but since I’m not doing a good job eliminating any, let’s go the other direction!

You have likely already considered this, but I wondered if you might want to use Petersen as a first name. It’s pretty cute, and Petersen Keller reminds me favorably of the successful combination Anderson Cooper.

John is out so maybe Jonathan is also out—but if it isn’t, I really like it. Jonathan Keller. I would probably use James as the middle name. I find I’m reluctant to use Baldwin: it seems like guys can be a little sensitive about the word “bald”.

Or I wonder if you’d like the name Henry. Henry Petersen Keller is smashing.

Or Daniel? Dan is on my list of favorite nicknames: it feels so warm and friendly and approachable. Daniel James Keller, or Daniel Petersen Keller.

[Edited to add: A commenter who is having commenting problems has asked me to add this:

For what it’s worth, Thomas Keller is a famous chef (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Keller), which to me is a positive association but one I would have wanted to know about before committing. Best wishes!

You may wonder why I am putting it in the post, instead of as a comment. It is because I CAN’T COMMENT EITHER. I can only do it in the behind-the-scenes part of the blog, only as a reply to someone else’s comment. This commenting issue is going to drive me screaming into the sea.]

Name update: “Thomas Baldwin Keller, he goes by Tommy.”

Hi Swistle,

Long time reader, first time writer! My husband and I recently found out we are due with our first baby this February, although we have been debating baby names for years. We will not be finding out the sex of the baby beforehand. Our surname is Donson but with a J. I would love your help with boy names, as we are in a bit of a pickle.

So my hubby’s great grandfathers name was Axl and he is obsessed. If it were solely up to him, this would be the name of our baby no questions asked. Only problem- I am not a fan. Yes, if we have a super athletic, strong Viking of a boy I can see it, but what if he is more of a gentle soul? I just can’t. The compromise he has proposed is to move Axl to the middle name spot, and basically give me free reign with the first name. I’m leaning towards agreeing, even though I would prefer not to use the name at all. Should I reconsider to make the full name more mutually agreeable? Or should I take this compromise and go wild with the first name?

Names at the top of my list:

Noah (too soft with Axl? Was my all-time favorite for a while)
Calvin (My favorite with Axl, issue with football player?)
Jack (too sharp? Issue with singer?)
Charles (nickname Charlie, which was also the name of my beloved childhood dog, family name)
Henry

Names that he loves:
Tucker
Cooper
Jack

If we are to have a girl, our top names are Penelope, Gabriella and Savannah. We are trying to avoid using names that start with B, V and E.

What do you think of this arrangement? Can you please offer any suggestions for boys?

I promise to update!! Also, do you have an update on the name debate where the husband only wanted Steven?

Warmly,
Sarah

With so long to go before the due date, my advice is to commit to nothing, but definitely to add this proposed compromise to the list of possibilities. That is, don’t say, “Yes, it’s a deal: if we have a boy, we will use Axl as the middle name and I will have free reign over the first name,” because I think we have all learned an important lesson from the fairly large number of letters from people who made deals they later no longer want to keep. But it’s a great offer, and if I were you I would probably end up taking it—unless you end up both agreeing on the first name, in which case I might want the flexibility to say, “Okay, since we agree on the first name and you get Axl as the middle name, I’d like more say in the next child’s name.”

Here are the reasons it’s a great compromise:

1. For most people, the middle name disappears into The Land of Paperwork shortly after the birth announcements go out. It’s a terrific place for names you theoretically want to use but don’t actually like very much.

2. The first name is the classically most-desirable real estate here. Getting final say on that can be a powerful thing.

3. Your husband, by offering the first name in exchange for his choice of middle name, is showing unusually excellent perspective: he realizes he can’t demand something just because he really wants it, so in exchange for what he fervently wants he is offering to give up something larger.

4. I think you’re very wise to take into account that the child might not be the Axl type—but a far larger percentage of people can carry an unusual middle name. It appeals to me to think of it tucked there secretly: the thin, sensitive little intellectual with the kick-ass middle name.

Even without his offer of the first name, I’d be suggesting you strongly consider it unless you deep-down hate it. An alternative compromise could be that he gets a name from his family for the first boy, and you get a fun family name from your side for the first girl or second baby.

From your list of first names, my own favorites are Calvin, Charles, and Henry. I hesitate over Noah not because of how it sounds with Axl (I have more of an issue with the ack-ax/jackal sound of Jack Axl), but because 2016 was its fourth consecutive year as the most popular boy name in the United States. Normally name-popularity doesn’t bother me much, but with a very common surname it does give me pause.

I wonder if you’d like Nolan? It has a similar sound but is less common.

Or Owen? That’s the same sounds as Noah, but rearranged.

Or Theo? That has the gentle sound of Noah, plus the same long-O sound.

Or Milo? The gentleness and the long-O sound again.

Or Leo?

Or Joel? The pleasing alliteration of Jack Johnson, but without the ack-ax sound.

Or George.

Or I like Jasper with your surname. It is a little challenging to say the full name, but it is so rare to need to do that.

More possibilities:

Davis
Harris
Oliver
Simon
Turner

If E weren’t out, I’d suggest Elliot and Everett.

Is this the post you mean about the father who only wanted Steven: Already-Born Baby Boy Papadopoulos? No update yet.

Name update: girl; Madeline (Maddie)

Dear Swistle,
We could really use your help! I am three weeks away from having our fourth (and last) child, and we do not know if it’s a boy or a girl. Our older kids are Jacob Daniel, Avery (called both Avery and Avery Jane) and Carter William. Our last name sounds like Airs.

If it is a girl, we are somewhat settled on Cameron Grace or Cameron Rose, but I have a hesitation with Cameron for a girl, which is that it was given to 6,807 boys in 2016 but only 583 girls. Would she always be mistaken for a boy? If not Cameron, my husband likes Charlotte and Harper but I think they are too popular. I like Emily (maybe too dated), Josie, Sadie and Macy but am afraid that Sadie and Macy are common dog names. I am also not sure about Josie as a standalone name.

If it is a boy, we have another issue that has come up on this blog before. We really like the name Logan but it was the name of our family’s cat that died about 2 years ago. I have heard people say that it’s fine to use it since the cat is no longer with us, and other people who just think it’s weird. We don’t want to create confusion/weirdness but we are annoyed with ourselves for using Logan on a cat 13 years ago. Our oldest (11) doesn’t think there is a problem with it. Is Logan still usable? I like Benjamin, Ethan, Evan, Jeremiah, Wesley and Nolan. My husband really likes the name Chase (I think it might be too short), is warming up to Benjamin and doesn’t like Ethan or Evan. He is thinking about Jeremiah, Nolan and Wesley. Middle name options are open but I am thinking about Michael after my brother.

Names we can’t use: Emma, Marley, Morgan, Lucas, Grayson

Your help is appreciated!!

Thanks,
Kathi

The difficulty with a name like Cameron is tallying up all the spellings. Here are just the ones that were used for at least 50 boy babies or 50 girl babies in 2016:

Kamryn: 861 F, 279 M
Camryn: 815 F, 186 M
Cameron: 583 F, 6807 M
Cameryn: 64 F, 33 M
Kameron: 59 F, 1436 M
Kameryn: 58 F, 34 M
Kamron: – F, 196 M
Kamren: 17 F, 179 M
Kamran: – F, 51 M
Camron: – F, 241 M
Camren: 10 F, 162 M

Even so, we can see without doing the math that the name is used more often for boys—but still hanging in there for girls.

Part of the package deal of a unisex name is that people may sometimes mistake it as belonging to someone of the opposite sex, but this seems fairly easy to correct when it happens. And most of the time when there’s doubt (on paperwork when the child is not present, for example), there will be other information available such as the middle name or an M/F entry. Also, Cameron is a well-known unisex name: many people encountering it will know they need more information before automatically adding the name to the boys’ team or the girls’ team.

One possible solution is to use a spelling more associated with girls: Camryn, for example. There will still be occasional mistakes, but it will reduce them. I would do this only if you don’t really care about the spelling: I think there will be occasional mistakes no matter what spelling you use—unless you go with ♀️Kamrynne♀️.

If Harper is too common (and to me, it also sounds too much like Carter), I wonder if you’d like Harlow or Harlowe.

I wonder if you’d like the name Riley? It’s another one that needs some spelling-tallying:

Riley: 7110 F, 1706 M
Rylee: 2947 F, 165 M
Ryleigh: 1877 F, 10 M
Rylie: 1003 F, 31 M
Rilee: 127 F, 17 M
Rileigh: 127 F, – M
Ryley: 97 F, 73 M

Still unisex but, like the name Avery, it’s used more often for girls.

On the subject of Logan and the cat who is no longer with us: I think you should go ahead and use the name. I think the handful of people who find it weird will get over it, as well they should, and that none of them are likely to care very deeply about it even during the stage when they still find it a little weird. For anyone you haven’t yet asked, I wouldn’t mention the connection: I’m trying to think of the names of my friends’ pets, and I’m having some trouble. If a friend used a name that I remembered was the name of a former pet, I might remark on it but only because I would want to hear more of the naming story, not because I thought it was weird.

On the other hand, Paul and I didn’t use the name Oliver, not because we’d had a cat named Oliver but because Paul said he was certain his mother would never, ever stop saying “Oliver: the boy named after a cat!,” and then Paul so perfectly imitated the little laugh she’d do every time she said it, it immediately killed the name for me. But if you don’t have anyone like that in your life, I say use the name and shrug it off.

Otherwise, my favorites are Wesley and Nolan: I think they both do a nice job of uniting the styles of Jacob and Carter.

Name update:

Hi Swistle,
We had a baby boy on Monday and his name is Malcolm Everett.  He weighed in at 9lbs 12 oz! Thanks for the naming advice!
Kathi