[The kids have started online school, and I need things to do while they’re doing that. Let’s name some babies.]

My wife and I are expecting twin boys at the end of March. We have a difficult last name (sounds like sex-hour). We often find we like a name (Abel, as an example), only to find it DOES not work with this difficult last name! You can have fun finding awful combinations that’s for sure! We’ve had many a laugh….

Both of our names begin with “A” (Annie and Allison) and our older daughter’s name also starts with “A” (Aliyah). We would like to continue in the “A” name tradition. It would be nice to have 3 names that all begin with a different “a” sound (long a, short a, schwa), so we are looking for a short a name.

We have already chosen one name: Avery. And, we know both middle names– John and Lee. We especially like the name Alden, but a cousin named her young son that already so we feel we can’t also use it.

To complicate matters, I have been a teacher for almost 15 years and try really hard not to name my kids the same name as any of my former students. That may not be possible, but perhaps!!

Names we have considered and rejected for various reasons:
* Abel
* Aiden (in all forms)
* Alwyn
* Ashton, Asher and all the Ash names
* Armani
* Adrien
* Adler
* Arley

Names we are considering:
* August
* Afton
* Alton

We just haven’t seemed to find the name that “feels right” and works with “sex-hour.”

If we were having another girl, we would have named her Avery as well! Gender neutral names are important to us, but not a requirement.

Thanks for your help!

Alyson and Annie

Here is the difficulty with this question: It’s not hard to go through the entire A section of several baby name books, so if I go through the entire A section of several baby name books, I will not be discovering anything you haven’t already looked at a hundred times. In some situations, I think, “Well, but it can help to hear a name differently if someone else suggests/supports it!,” and I think that’s often true, but it sounds like you have been very thorough.

I suspect the trouble you’re running into here is that you have too many preferences to ALSO want the name to “feel right.” That is, if you were working on a puzzle that required you to find a name starting with short-A, that went with Aliyah and Avery, that worked with the middle names John/Lee, that didn’t duplicate the name of a student or relative, and that went well with your surname—you probably could find some candidates. But if it has to be all those things AND you have to love it and it has to click into place for you—then such a name might literally not exist, so none of us will be able to find it.

This means stepping back in the decision process to see if any of the preferences can be removed. Which are the preferences that are most often tripping you up? Like, when you find a name that makes your heart pound, what are the most common reasons it doesn’t go on the list? Doesn’t start with A? Wrong sound of A? Doesn’t work with the middle names? Duplicates a student’s/relative’s/friend’s name? Are there any preferences you’d be willing to rethink?

For example, I know you want everyone’s name to start with A. How badly do you want that? Do you want it enough that you would choose an A-name you’re not enthusiastic about over a non-A-name you love? This would be the perfect moment to break with A names, if you’re willing to reconsider the name Avery.

I know you want short-A. How badly do you want that? Do you want it enough that you’d sacrifice a name you like better?

These are questions I can ask as if the answer would be “No!”—but I don’t think the answer will necessarily be no: there are many preferences that lead parents to choose a less-liked name over a more-liked name. But I think it helps if the parents know that trade-off may need to happen. Otherwise they can go around in circles, trying to make it so their favorite names fit the preferences, or so that the preferences result in most-loved names. Sometimes the preferences and the most-liked names are incompatible.

If you keep your preferences, then I think you have already narrowed down the list and the choice is now among August, Afton, and Alton. That is a happy little list! Those are all great names. And I think there can come some relief at that stage of the process: I remember trying to choose one of my son’s names, and thinking, “All of these are good options. I don’t have to FALL IN LOVE, I just have to choose one of these nice names.” It happens to many parents and may have happened to you with Aliyah’s name: the name BECOMES the child, and it can be hard to remember having had any doubts about the name or having considered any other names. Even a name that doesn’t feel like it has the shining support of an angelic chorus can feel very different when it is on the beloved baby.

I considered not giving an opinion on which of the three finalists was my own favorite, since at this point I think the best strategy may be for you two to think to yourselves, “Okay, if it is going to be one of these three, which one is it?”—without a bunch of confusing input from others. But “a bunch of confusing input from others” is the very reason for this site! So after saying that I think all three names are good solid choices and any of them seem great to me, I will say that of those three names, my definite favorite is Alton. I love it. When I picture it on a little newborn, I get damp eyes. Little Alton! I want to squeeze him! Avery and Alton! I like Avery John and Alton Lee, to avoid the Elton John sound and to distribute the unisex names more evenly.

I also love August, but when we are dealing with a tricky surname that includes an element of time, it seems like adding a month-name emphasizes the time element. And Afton I think is getting unfairly marked down only because I’ve never met an Afton and the name isn’t familiar to me yet; that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love it within five seconds of meeting a baby with that name. But the unfamiliarity combines with the difficult surname to make something I have to spend extra mental energy figuring out what I’m hearing (half ton sex hour? after sex hour?), which is a downside with a difficult surname.

Name update:

Hi Swistle,

We really appreciated all the help we received from you and everyone who responded to our post! We welcomed our twin boys on their Mama’s birthday, 3/27/2020 at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. Avery John and Allston Lee both weighed exactly 6 lbs to the ounce at birth! They are happy, healthy, and well loved by their big sister! We had one of those “aha” that is the name we like moments when Allston came to us. We looked up the meanings of the two names and they are connected. Avery means “elf king,” and Allston means, “elf stone.” It seemed like the names were meant to go together!

All the best!

Alyson and Annie

[My workplace has closed, leaving me with time on my hands and nowhere to go to use that time. It seemed to me it might be pleasant right now to distract ourselves with naming babies.]

Dear Swistle,

I’m a long-time reader and excited to be writing you! Our family is me, my husband, our toddler son Wilder, and a baby girl coming in the spring. Our last name sounds like Shoals with a B. We chose Wilder’s name because it’s uncommon but not totally out there (at least here in the PNW) and it has a literary feel as well as appealing to our family’s love of the outdoors. It suits him well and we’re perfectly happy with it.

For this baby, the front runners we both like are:

Maren Elizabeth
Maren Lucille
Vivienne Brook (nn Vivi)
Brook Lucille

My husband would like to incorporate the names of his grandmothers—Lillian and Lucille—which I’m open to, but I don’t like the obvious nicknames Lily or Lucy. I’d be open to Lou as a first name or Lilou as a middle name. Wilder’s middle name is an honor name from my husband’s side. I’ve thought and thought about an honor name from my side, and while it would be so nice, the only one I like enough is my own middle name, Elizabeth.

I like the names Allie and Margot too, but my husband doesn’t love those.

As for other must-haves: It must sound nice as a full name (I can get pretty caught up in wanting a name with great cadence) and go well enough with big brother’s name. This might be our last baby, but we’re not sure.

What do you think? I’d love to hear if one of these front runners is your favorite or if you or your readers have any new ideas!

Thanks for any ideas!
Meg

With Wilder, my favorite is Maren. Vivienne feels spirited but dressy to me, in contrast to the outdoorsy Wilder; and Brook, while I see and appreciate the nature reference, doesn’t feel as fresh and contemporary as Wilder.

If Wilder’s middle name is an honor name from your husband’s side, and especially if the children also have their father’s family’s surname, then my favorite middle name is Elizabeth after you.

Other names to consider:

Azalea
Bianca
Claudia
Dahlia
Daisy
Delia
Eliza
Eloise
Fiona
Flora
Greta
Hazel
Imogen
Isla
Ivy
Juniper (repeated ending with Wilder)
Liberty
Lorelei
Melody
Minerva
Mirren
Penelope
Romilly
Rosalie
Rosemary
Ruby
Sally
Verity

(Prairie might be too on-the-nose with Wilder, but I admit I am tempted to suggest it. So Ingalls! The name Eliza is a subtler connection, since Eliza Wilder was the name of Almanzo Wilder’s sister.)

Name update:

Thank you for all the fun name ideas! Our beautiful Maren Elizabeth was born on May 8, nearly two weeks later than her due date. We’re so happy with her name! And it has come to mean a lot to me that we share a middle name. I hope it makes her feel special, too.

Attached is a photo of our little “Sea Star” :)

We are expecting a third daughter at the end of February (coming up fast!), and since you were so helpful in helping us name our last child, I thought I’d ask for help again.

Our daughters are Avila Marie (sometimes called Avi like Abby) and Rose Therese Eowyn (usually called Rosie). Our last name is Carrot-with-an-M, and we’d like to have more children.

My husband and I have very different naming styles: his name ideas are often outside the top 1000, while mine tend to be names in the top 100 or just outside of it. (We do have one unifying thread, which is that we pick names of a saint that we really like. But since 95% of people we meet don’t know who St. Teresa of Avila is, this unifying factor is often not noticeable.) You can probably guess that Avila was my husband’s favorite name (my choice would have been Claire.) And Rose was my favorite name.

Well, here we are with unnamed baby three, and we have narrowed the field down to three names:

My favorite names are
Tessa (nn Tess)
Genevieve (nn Evie, which is really close to Avi).

His favorite name is
Zelie (we’d pronounce it like “jelly.”) From what I understand, it’s a currently popular French name derived from the longer name Azelie, (which means Azalea…a nice floral tie-in with the name Rose.)

At various moments we have said “yes, let’s do it!” to each of these three names, but then we keep coming back to the table again. I want to pick a name and be done!

Here’s my dilemma. My husband has been going through a difficult time the last few months, and it has made it hard for him to be excited about this pregnancy (obviously, it will be easier when she’s here.) This makes me want to say yes to Zelie–just because it means to have him in love with her name. (Also he’s talked about the combo of Zelie Louise, which is fun and zippy to say.)

On the other hand, I find myself hesitating just when I want to say yes to the name Zelie. My hesitation stems from how long it took me to love the name Avila, even after she was born (though I do love it now.) I still have a momentary flicker of resignation in the doctor’s office/new neighbor/party event where the person I’m talking to hesitates and says, “what is her name again?” and then proceeds to call her something else unintentionally. Then again, it’s mostly adults on the periphery of our lives who have this problem. Other kids always seem to easily grasp her name.

If we did go with the name Zelie Louise, here’s what I’d love to know:

1. Would you guess that you said the name Zelie like “jelly”?

2. Does it seem too much of a nickname-y name to you? We could name her the full name Azelie, if that was better, and call her Zelie. Or is that just giving her two unpronounceable names to grapple with?

3. The name we’d probably use if we have a boy in the future is Blaise. Does Avila, Rose, Zelie, and Blaise make the name Rose stand out as an outlier?

Thanks for your help!

This seems like a great question for a group answer, since there are so many parts of it that will be completely subjective. I wish the polls still worked. I will put a poll on Twitter, but that’s unsatisfying because of how many people aren’t on Twitter. But it is better than nothing. And in fact, it might be better than a blog poll because it’ll get some votes from people who are not baby-name hobbyists, which may give a more accurate representation of what you’d find in the public at large. Well, on to my subjective answers:

1. Would I guess that the name Zelie was pronounced to rhyme with jelly? No. With that spelling, similar to Amelia rather than to Ellie, I would first guess ZEE-lee. One could argue that it would be more accurate to say that the spelling is like Amelie, but that requires knowing that the name Zelie is French and also knowing how to pronounce Amelie; I feel like the segment of the U.S. population who would know both of those things is…small. But this is why this is a great question for a group: we may find there are tons of us who would have gone straight to Zelly. Here’s a link to the Twitter poll, for those who can use it; I will post the results here when it’s over. [Poll closed; results:]

[Of the comments on the 3-tweet series, there were 2 comments saying Zellie, 7 comments saying Zeelie, and 5 comments saying Zaylie, plus several comments expressing uncertainty between two options.]

2. Does it seem like a nickname-y name? I am going back and forth on this, and I think it’s because I’m unfamiliar with the name. A name like Ellie seems too nicknamey to me for a given name, but a name like Julie does not; it’s hard for me to figure out which one Zelie is more like. And again: SO SUBJECTIVE! The next person could say the exact opposite: that Ellie seemed like a given name, but Julie was clearly a nickname. I think if I can’t decide if it’s too nicknamey, that means for me it’s NOT too nicknamey.

3. Does this sibling group work with a possible future child named Blaise? I’d say yes, except that Rose and Blaise sound similar to me. But perhaps that is the very thing that helps tie the name group together. I do think the name Rose is going to stand out a little no matter what, just because it’s so familiar and the other names are less so.

4. You didn’t ask this, but I’m adding it: Do I think you should let your husband have his choice for the baby’s name because he’s been having a rough time lately? No. I think you should find other ways to comfort him. Get him a treat the next time you’re at the store, let him choose which TV show to watch, let him choose what you’re having for dinner. Choosing the baby’s name may improve his excitement/mood in the few weeks between now and the time the baby is born, but the name is forever.

If you’re looking for a compromise that lets your husband choose his favorite name but reduces the things you’ve found a little burdensome about unfamiliar names (the continual repeating/reminding/spelling/etc.), I wonder if it would work to spell it Zellie. Then you could say “Like Ellie, with a Z!” I think it would also significantly reduce mispronunciations: when I see Zellie, I immediately guess it rhymes with Ellie/jelly.

If you would like to instead look for a compromise that lets you choose one of your favorite names, I think Zelie makes a delightful middle name choice. Some combinations might need a little work (e.g., Tessa Zelie is not ideal to my ear), but adding another middle name could help with that (e.g., Tessa Claire Zelie).

You don’t mention Louise as a first-name option, but I love it and the similar name Louisa, which is apparently a saint name. Louisa Zelie? Avila, Rose, and Louisa.

Another possibility is Lucilla. Saint name, unusual, shares some sounds with Zelie, has the easy nickname Lucy.

One of my own favorite saint names is Winifred, and I love it so much with your surname, and it gives you the nicknames Winnie and Freddie. Avila, Rose, and Winifred. LOVE THIS.

I wanted very badly to suggest Josephine: it has some things in common with Genevieve, without the awkward similar-nickname Evie. But then I realized it just swaps the Avi/Evie issue for a Rosie/Josie issue.

Another option might be to name her Azalea and call her Zellie as a nickname. Here is what I like about this option:

1. It gives your husband a very unusual name, while giving you one that most people know how to pronounce.

2. It makes a link between the unusual name Avila and the more familiar flower-name Rose.

3. It gives you a nickname that isn’t too similar to Avi.

Here is what I don’t like about this option:

1. Avila and Azalea are more similar in appearance/letters than I would generally prefer for sibling names. (Though they do sound very different.)

2. For me, Zellie would not be a natural nickname for Azalea. (But I think it works fine.)

Name update:

It was great to read all of your thoughts and comments about the name Zelie! I think deep down I worry that when other people hear my baby’s unusual name, the initial response (even if not spoken aloud) is disapproval. So it was affirming to have so many people comment on the name, not one of whom said, “Are you nuts?! Don’t do it!”

Posting my letter also reopened the naming conversation with my husband, who really wanted to make sure that I was fully on board with whatever name we chose. I thought about ways that might help make the name Zelie Louise feel more like my choice also, and I liked the idea of giving the baby a second middle name in honor of my dad Norman. In the end, we decided to wait until the baby arrived to make a final decision.

I often find myself talking to the baby during labor, and this time I kept calling her Zelie—and that was pretty much the clincher for me. By the time she arrived I felt good about her name: Zelie Louise Nora. Thanks to all of you for your thoughts!

Hi Swistle,

We are attempting to name a baby girl due this spring. We already have one daughter named Parker, and our last name sounds like Edward. We don’t like the way vowel names flow with our last name (aka, no Ella’s!), and we tend towards names that are a little bit unique/rare (would love her to not have several classmates with the same name) but not too far out there. The middle name, if that matters, will be Alice (a family name), and the boy name would have used was Jacoby. We are thinking this is probably our last child, though we haven’t made any final decisions yet. My husband also doesn’t like names that will definitely be shortened to nicknames (such as Kathryn à Katie). Top contenders so far for baby girl’s name:

-Hadley (her cousin has a cousin on the other side named Hadley… we only see that child once a year and they’ll be 5 years apart, is that too close of a relationship?)
-Kendall (does this bring up the Kardashian family too much?)
-Kennedy (is this too pretentious?)
-Lincoln (will everyone always think she’s a boy? Is it too popular of a boy’s name now?)
-McKenna (I’m not sure about the Mc)
-Logan (perhaps my lack of comment on this name means it should be a front runner)
-Zoe (might be too popular)
-Payton (but I’m not sure I like the alliteration of Parker & Payton)
-Carson (we liked, but my close friend has a dog named Carson, so that seems pretty odd)

We are very open to other suggestions! Please help!

Many thanks,
Sara

With a sister named Parker, one thing I would want to take into account is the relative usage of each name. In 2018, according to the Social Security Administration, the name Parker was given to 1,754 new baby girls and 3,978 new baby boys: its current usage is unisex but used approximately twice as often for boys. I would want to find something similar for a sister, to avoid spinning the name Parker as a brother name.

A cousin who has a cousin named Hadley does not seem remotely an issue to me. I hesitate mainly because the name Hadley is used almost exclusively for girls in the United States: 2,861 new baby girls and 37 new baby boys in 2018.

Kendall does not make me think of the Kardashians, and I’ve had a previously unnoticed opportunity to test this out because my kids have a classmate named Kendall and the association didn’t occur to me. Again, my main hesitation is that the name Kendall is used much more often for girls in the United States: 1,209 new baby girls and 245 new baby boys in 2018.

Kennedy doesn’t sound pretentious to me; it feels familiar as a name at this point But its usage is almost exclusively for girls: 3,924 new baby girls and 126 new baby boys in 2018.

Lincoln goes the opposite way: its current usage in the United States is almost exclusively for boys: 163 new baby girls and 7,368 new baby boys in 2018. Also, with Parker I think of Linkin Park, but that is perhaps a reach, and a dated reach at that; I suspect most people would just think “Those names seem to go together well in a way I can’t quite put a finger on.”

McKenna is a good style match with Parker, though again we run into usage: in 2018, it was given to 1,254 new baby girls and there is no record of it being given to any new baby boys at all.

Logan is perhaps my favorite of your choices, not only because of your comment about not having a comment, but also because its usage is boy-heavy but not exclusively boy: 1,074 new baby girls and 12,352 new baby boys in 2018. I wonder, though, if that is too popular for you: as a current Top Ten boy name, the name is likely to show up in some of her classrooms.

I want to cross Zoe off your list. Not only is it used exclusively for girls in the U.S., which spins Parker as a brother name, but the spellings Zoe and Zoey combine to make it even more popular than you might think if you just checked the rankings: in 2018, there were 5,899 new baby girls named Zoey and 5,062 new baby girls named Zoe, for a total of 10,961; for comparison, there were 10,582 new baby girls named Harper (the #9 most popular girl name) and 10,376 new baby girls named Evelyn (the #10 most popular girl name).

Payton does seem very cute with Parker, and I agree that’s the kind of style choice you may or may not want. Usage-wise, Payton is currently used more often for girls in the U.S.: 1,413 new baby girls and 233 new baby boys in 2018. (The spelling Peyton adds another 2,896 baby girls and 787 baby boys.)

Carson’s usage skews way to the boys: 205 new baby girls and 5,227 new baby boys in 2018.

I can see you like unisex/surname names. My own preference would be for more unisex/surname names that are used more often for boys, but not SO MUCH MORE often for boys (like Lincoln and Carson); or even used more often for girls, but not SO MUCH MORE often for girls (like Hadley and Kennedy).

I think Avery is probably too popular for your tastes, but it’s the kind of name I mean: in 2018, it was given to 8,053 new baby girls and 2,098 new baby boys. If I encountered a sibling set named Parker and Avery, I would not make any assumptions and would be ready for two boys, two girls, or one of each in either direction.

Riley is another option—again, probably too popular, but just as an example. It’s hard to tally it up because of all the spellings, but in 2018 there were 5,976 new baby girls and 1,455 new baby boys named Riley; 72 new baby girls and 70 new baby boys named Reilly; 1,915 new baby girls and 10 new baby boys named Ryleigh; and so on. Some spellings are used more often for girls, but overall the usage is so spread out that if I encountered siblings named Parker and Riley I wouldn’t make any early guesses.

I wonder if Gracen would be a good choice. The spelling makes it relatively feminine compared to Grayson, but the alternate options Grayson/Greyson keep it sounding unisex.

Oh! What about Rowan? Used in 2018 for 1,447 new baby girls and 3,020 new baby boys (the spelling Rowen adds 186 girls and 585 boys), its usage is similar to the name Parker. Rowan Alice. Parker and Rowan. I love it.

The name Beckett has usage numbers that fly directly in the face of what I’m looking for (74 new baby girls and 1,657 new baby boys in 2018), but I suggest it anyway. Beckett Alice. Parker and Beckett. I like the snappy repeated K-sounds of the two names, which seems subtler than the alliteration of Parker and Payton.

Maybe Emerson? It might be too easy to nickname it to Emmie. But if not, the usage is pretty good: 1,935 new baby girls and 1,238 new baby boys in 2018 (the spelling Emersyn adds 1,886 girls and 24 boys).

I’m having trouble coming up with more options, which is making me feel like abandoning the whole usage goal. It’s likely more important to find names that SOUND like they have the right usage—but of course that’s going to vary depending on part of the country and personal experience. I may be completely familiar with Logan as a girl name because of happening to know two female Logans, while someone else is saying “Someone used LOGAN for a GIRL????” because in their area no one would, or because they’re not as interested in baby names as some of us so they haven’t been keeping up.  And when I hear “Parker and Kendall,” I don’t think “Oh, Parker is definitely a boy, then,” even though I know the usages—and in fact, the differing usages is one thing that makes me hesitate; “Parker and Logan,” with its matched usages, is more likely to make me think of brothers.

Well. I seem to have gotten stuck, and this post has been sitting in my drafts for almost a week without me coming up with more ideas, so let’s turn this over to others.

Name update:

Dear Swistle,

Thank you so much for answering our question earlier this year. After submitting but before seeing your reply, we had another conversation about names and had put Hadley, Kendall, Logan, and Lincoln in the top 4. Then, hearing my concerns about Lincoln being too boy-leaning, it was pointed out to me how popular of a name Logan is for boys right now, and we agreed to eliminate both names. (It isn’t so much that I don’t want a name that is too boyish, more so that I didn’t want her to be one of 8 Logans in her class – which you identified n your post). Having only Hadley and Kendall left, but not being particularly sold on either, we returned to reviewing random blogs and lists of baby names. We had many “near misses” with geography: we liked names like Brooklyn, Madison, Phoenix, and Raleigh but couldn’t quite get on board with any one of them for various reasons. Then the name Brighton came up on a list of geography-inspired names and we both became more excited.

Reading your response really put in perspective for me WHY I would be happier with a neutral name: not because I needed both names to be neutral, but because “Kendall and Parker” seemed to imply that Parker was probably a boy, and that made me grumpy. I also came to the realization that any P name wasn’t going to work – I liked the idea of Parker having her own initial.

You and the commenters suggested many good names – Sawyer, Sutton, and Sloane were lovely, but my husband and I both have S-names and didn’t want Parker to feel left out of the S club. Your suggestion of Avery was GREAT, we do love that name, but we have a good friend with a daughter Avery so we didn’t want to use it for that reason. We also don’t love the way vowel-starting names sound with our vowel-starting last name (so that crossed Emerson off the list, too). One reader suggested Tatum – such a good pick! Also, Parker’s cousin’s name (and they are close in age and geographic proximity). Gracen is fun, but too close to Grayson, and Parker has a boy cousin Grayson. We might be too particular with our strange rules (no S’s, no vowel’s, and perhaps we know too many people and can’t name our kids after any of them, blah blah blah).

Your suggestion of Beckett was excellent, and we nearly went with it. I think though, that having come up with Brighton on our own before reading your response and comments – and then seeing it the comments – was very validating for us. We fell in love with the name Brighton, and also how adorable it was teaching little Parker to say “baby Brighton” which sounds like “baby Britty.”

Baby Brighton was born on April 28, in the midst of this very crazy pandemic. Thank you for all of your help!

Hi Swistle,
You helped me name my firstborn many moons ago, and he and his little brother are about to have a little sister! My wife and I are a bit stumped on names though, not least because girls names seem full of endless possibilities after naming two boys.

I’m a big fan of the Favorite First Name + Family Middle Name equation, and to that end, Baby Girl’s middle name will either be Wells (my wife’s maiden name) or Parker (to honor my brother). We have a definite preference for Wells except that we can’t decide if it sounds weird next to Ellis0n. Too many L’s?

We like old-fashioned names that aren’t too popular. We can’t use Wells as a first name because my wife’s sister already used it for her eldest. Both of my older children’s names start with E (Eli and Ezra), and we’d like something in that same vein, but my wife would like to avoid another E name because she feels it was a “thing” my ex and I did (it was more of a coincidence, but I get it). Our last name, Ellis0n, is a little tricky to work with because it’s vowel-heavy and L-heavy, and so are lots of beautiful names we love, like Eleanor, Millie, Lucille, Amelia.

Our current favorites:
Juniper nn June
Maeve
Anne/Annie (call her Annie Wells?)
Lucille nn Lucy (too much with Ellis0n?)
Louise nn Lou
Margaret nn Mae
Susanna nn Sosie or Sunny
Nora
Sylvie
Cora

Other suggestions? Is Wells as a middle a terrible idea?

Thank you!
Jenny

My opinion about middle names is that the sound/flow matters MUCH LESS than with first names, and ESPECIALLY if we’re talking about using an important honor name: Important Honor Name VASTLY outranks “the sound of the names said together, which they pretty much never will be.” In this case, the honor name is your wife’s maiden name, which in my own personal ranking system outranks ALL OTHER POSSIBLE HONOR NAMES. Yes, use it! If it merged to make some sort of terrible word with the surname, that would be a different situation, but “maybe too many L sounds” is not in this category.

I do think that once you have two L’s and a short-E in the middle name and two more L’s and another short-E in the surname, it would be a good idea to avoid adding even more L’s and short-E’s with the first name. …Well, unless you want to really lean into it, which I think is an option. Eleanor Wells Ellis0n just says “You know what, L’s and short-E’s is what we liked,” and that has its own kind of magic. I see what your wife means about the initial E, but on the other hand I like the way the matching initials tie all the kids together—but obviously I think we should defer to her feelings on the subject.

I am completely charmed by the idea of naming her Anne and calling her Annie Wells. I realize this brings back into discussion the issue with how it sounds with the surname but I am TOO CHARMED AND I DON’T CARE

Margaret is one of my own personal favorite names, and I perish from how good it sounds with Wells Ellis0n. Margaret Ellis0n! Margaret Wells Ellis0n! I want that name for myself!

I am very drawn to the name Louise as well. I like the way it faintly echoes the L in Eli and the Z-sound of Ezra. It does lean into the sound repetition by also echoing the Z-sound of Wells and the L-sounds of Wells and Ellis0n, but I really do think there is a point where an overload of certain sounds crosses from Too Much into Distinctive/Cool. If I think “Would I want to be named Louise Wells Ellis0n?,” I think “YES.” I don’t think “But it’s so many L sounds.”

Really, all I’m doing at this point is going through the names on your list one by one and praising them, because I think they’re all good choices. Susanna! Cora! Sylvie! The only one I don’t feel like devoting a paragraph to is Juniper: it feels to me like it strikes a radically different note than the other names on your list, and also your sons’ names. I wonder if it might be an outlier for your usual style.

Name update:

Dear Swistle,
Much to our surprise, our baby girl arrived two months early on March 12th—so we just went with all our favorites at once. Susannah June Wells Ellis0n (“Sosie”) is happy and healthy and finally home with her big brothers. Thanks for all the naming help!
Cheers,
Jenny

Hello,
We are thrilled to be expecting our second child in February, a little sister for Sophie! This will be our last child. I prefer short names. We love Sophie’s name. My only issue with Sophie is that she is often mistaken for Sophia (I think since Sophia is a top 10 name). Sophie was born in 2017. Below are names we have considered for this baby:

Names I like, but have been vetoed:
Lucy
Mia
Josie
Olivia (Liv)

Names my husband likes but have been vetoed:
JoAnna
Ellie (this was a front runner for our first baby, but we chose Sophie).

Mutually Agreed:
Zoe
Clara

We think Zoe is the front runner, but are there other names we should consider? Also, our daughter has a family middle name (after my mother in law who has passed on), is it necessary to have another family name for this baby? We don’t have a particular person in mind.

Thank you so much!
Katie

I vote for Clara, for two reasons.

First, the names Sophie and Zoe sound very similar to me: first the similar S/Z sound, then the matching long O sound, then the matching long E sound.

Second, I think Clara coordinates even better with the style of the name Sophie.

I would also be interested in bringing the name Ellie back into consideration. I like that both names would be the -ie versions of -a names, if you see what I mean: Sophie not Sophia, and Ellie not Ella.

More possibilities to consider:

Alice
Annie
Ava
Callie
Cora
Elsie
Eva
Grace/Gracie
Iris
Isla
Ivy
Jane
June
Libby
Lila
Lily
Millie
Myla
Nora
Olive
Rose
Ruby

It is not necessary to use a family name again this time, though I would be tempted to use Kate, after you. Or since you have Josie on your list and your husband has JoAnna on his, maybe Jo if it works with whatever the first name turns out to be.

Name update:

Hi Swistle!
Thank you to you and your readers! We took your suggestion to reconsider Ellie. We welcomed Ellie Rose to our family a few days ago. We chose Rose for a nod to Valentine’s Day.
Thanks again!
Katie

Hello Swistle,

I’ve been reading your site for years, but never expected to need to send in a question. As a life-long name lover, feeling stumped on a name is new to me.

So here’s our quandary: a middle name for baby boy Frye, last name sounds like Tommy with a D. Baby is due at the end of November, on Thanksgiving. He will be our third and last baby. Big sisters are Josephine Louise (4 years old), usually called Jo, and Alice Lane (2 years old), called Alice and Al. Mom and dad are Lindsay and Gage.

Our naming style is classic and old fashioned, easy to pronounce and recognizable, preferably not absurdly popular (Alice is more common than we usually like). We’re not big on biblical names. We don’t typically use family names. Dad prefers more unusual names than Mom. Big sister Jo nicknamed the baby French Fry, which is how we got the idea to use Frye.

Other favorites on the list that don’t sound quite right as the middle:
Calvin
Simon
Griffin
Felix
Oscar
Basil
Rowan
Alexander

Names inspired by or related to nature are a plus. Names with literary significance are a plus as well. Our girls have literary inspired names (Josephine for Little Women and Alice for Alice in Wonderland) and it makes my book loving, English major heart happy.

Thank you for considering our question!

Sincerely,
Lindsay

The first thing I notice is that the name Frye with your surname forms the word “Fried.” When I pretend to be calling on the phone and I say the first and last names together, neither first name nor last is clear to me.

The second thing I notice is that the name Frye is an outlier for your reported style of classic, old-fashioned, recognizable. Frye as a name is not in current usage in the United States, and I’m not finding indications that it ever has been. I’m familiar with it only from the character Fry in the cartoon Futurama—and in that case, it’s his surname. The Social Security Administration, which makes available for public viewing any name that was used for at least five babies of either sex in a particular year, does not have the name Frye in its database for 2018. Nor for 2017. Nor for 2016. Nor for 2015. Nor for 2010, 2005, 2000, 1995, 1990, 1985, 1980, 1975, 1970, 1965, 1960, 1955, 1950, 1945, 1940, 1935, 1930, 1925, 1920, 1915, 1910, 1905, 1900, 1895, or 1890, and that’s where I run out of records to check. You would be choosing to use as a name something that is not currently used as a name in the United States, which is an absolutely fine thing to do, but not if what you want is a classic, old-fashioned, easy, recognizable name.

If you’re consciously choosing to break with your usual style, and ready to accept without irritation all the repeating/spelling/explaining that comes with choosing something very unfamiliar, then you have my full support and all the assistance I can give; and anyway you have said that you are looking for help with the middle name, not with the first. But I would like to suggest the possibility of using Frye as the middle name, where it can be an adorable story without being a hassle. Calvin Frye [T]ommy, for example. (Though that would give the potential for Al and Cal in the family, which I don’t mind with nicknames but I know some prefer to avoid. Fine, how about Simon Frye [T]ommy as the example.)

When I do a middle name challenge, I start by saying the first and last names aloud, again and again, to see if a RHYTHM for the middle name stands out to me. “Frye…[T]ommy, Frye…[T]ommy, Frye…[T]ommy,” etc. After awhile I might start feeling a “da DA da da” or “DA da” or “da da da” or whatever, filling in the gap. If nothing stands out particularly rhythm-wise, I switch to just trying a whole bunch of names to see what seems good: I will just take a baby name book and skim through it fast, trying every single combination until I get a feel for it. “Frye Aaron [T]ommy, Frye Art [T]ommy, Frye Abbott [T]ommy, Frye Abe [T]ommy…” and so on. I would jot down anything that seemed to sound right; and, after awhile, I sometimes find a certain sound begins to stand out to me: maybe I notice I like two-syllable names, or maybe I notice I want a strong consonant, or maybe I notice I’d prefer to avoid strong consonants, or whatever.

I also keep a sharp eye on initials: I prefer for initials not to spell anything, though I’m willing to bend if the name is worth it. For F_D, I’d prefer to avoid names starting in A, E, K, T, U, W. But for most of those, it’s not a deal-breaker for a name I really want to use, just something I want to take into consideration before making the final decision.

I don’t think the sound of first-name-into-middle-name is anywhere near as important as first-name-into-last-name, since in most cases it’s rare for the middle name to be said aloud. But I do take it into account somewhat.

I find one-syllable first names in general more difficult to find middle names for, as you might be picking up on from all this general information that fails to give any actual suggestions. The thing is, it’s so subjective. So if I were you, I would be starting in the A section of the name book and just going through the whole thing. Do it over multiple sessions so your brain doesn’t get tired and start skimming.

How did you choose your daughters’ middle names? If literary names are a plus, it seems like that would be a very good place to start if you haven’t already: favorite authors, favorite characters in literature.

From your list, Alexander is my favorite. I don’t love the initials, but they’re pretty harmless; it’s not as if we’re talking about Alexander Simon Smith. Frye Alexander [T]ommy is a nice rhythm. More possibilities:

Frye Alcott [T]ommy
Frye Augustus [T]ommy
Frye Benjamin [T]ommy
Frye Beckett [T]ommy
Frye Bennett [T]ommy
Frye Charles [T]ommy
Frye Christopher [T]ommy
Frye Eliot [T]ommy
Frye Emerson [T]ommy
Frye Ezekiel [T]ommy
Frye Finnegan [T]ommy
Frye Harrison [T]ommy
Frye Jasper [T]ommy
Frye Jeremiah [T]ommy
Frye Henry [T]ommy
Frye Gideon [T]ommy
Frye Jonathan [T]ommy
Frye Lawrence [T]ommy
Frye Lewis [T]ommy
Frye Malachi [T]ommy
Frye Matthew [T]ommy
Frye Nathaniel [T]ommy
Frye Oliver [T]ommy
Frye Sawyer [T]ommy
Frye Sebastian [T]ommy
Frye Sullivan [T]ommy
Frye Theodore [T]ommy
Frye Truman [T]ommy
Frye Whitman [T]ommy

With an extremely unusual first name, I’d personally lean more toward the familiar middle names: Benjamin, Henry, Jonathan, Lewis, Matthew, etc.

Name update:

Hi Swistle!

Just wanted to update everyone on our final name choice. Baby arrived a day before Thanksgiving and we didn’t make a final decision on his name until he was 5 days old. Josephine Louise and Alice Lane are over the moon about their baby brother Frye Marshall. We considered the reservations about Frye from you and your readers, and we strongly considered changing the first name in the weeks leading up to his birth. Once he was born, we just knew that he was a Frye after all. Our two year old greeting him with “Hi Frye!” On repeat when she met him for the first time reaffirmed our choice.

The middle name was a challenge. Even after he was born, nothing sounded quite right. My dad suggested my maiden name, Marshall, and my husband later said that he thought it was the right choice. We’re not usually ones to use family names, but nothing else was sounding right, and it does hold a lot of meaning. It sounds good, it has a nice flow, its balanced. It’s a name that I’ve always loved. I gave it up for my married name because it was so important to my husband, but I miss it. Plus, it’s a cool name and more in line with our usual naming style. If he decides that Frye is too out there for him, he’ll have a more traditional middle name that he can go by. Our Josephine decided just the week before last that she is no longer Jo, she is now Josie. So we’re all about the options here.

I’ve included a picture of the very excited big sisters holding baby brother.

Thank you for all of the help!

Lindsay

Dear Swistle,

I’ve been a lifelong name nerd, and I’ve been reading your blog for years – I just love it. I could talk about names all day long, but of course, it’s harder when it comes to actually naming your own children. I don’t think I wrote in about my first son, Graham Matthew, who just turned 2, but we’re expecting another baby in March, and facing a few naming dilemmas.

If this baby is a girl, we have a name picked out that we’ve loved since our first pregnancy – Ava. We’re 99% sure we’d still choose Ava (saying that knowing we had a different name picked out for Graham our entire pregnancy until we met him and changed our minds!).

But we’re struggling with a boy name. We love Graham’s name, and we’d love to find a similar name that hits the same points for us as Graham:

1) It’s familiar, but not super common. Graham was almost named Jack – and now there are two other Jacks in his daycare classroom, so we’re a bit relieved we didn’t go that route (although Ava is extremely popular, so obviously it’s not a deal-breaker for us to pick a top 10 name!). We just like that it’s a name that seems fresh, but you’ve also definitely heard it before.

2) It’s a no-nickname name. My husband is Matthew, goes by Matt, and it’s a minor annoyance to him to have a legal first name and the name he goes by. And I just don’t tend to like nickname names. Again, not a deal-breaker, but a preference. (Also, daycare kids have started calling Graham “Graham-o,” so I realize no name is nickname-proof!).

3) It doesn’t end with -son. This is the saddest one for me. With the last name Petersen (not how it’s spelled), one of my favorite boy names, Harrison, is out. Harrison Petersen just doesn’t work, as much as it breaks my heart to cross it off the list.

Names I like:
– Everett (my #1 favorite, I love it – to me, it hits all the points above, goes so well with Graham, and makes my heart want to burst when I think of having a son named Everett. Of course, my husband doesn’t like it. He thinks, especially paired with Graham, it sounds too pretentious. What??)
– Carter (both my husband and I like it, neither of us are sure it’s the name)
– Henry (another one my husband doesn’t like – and one I pushed for in my first pregnancy to no avail!)
– Rowan (a pretty strong veto from my husband)
– Harris (not sure I love it, absolutely sure it’s on the list as a replacement for Harrison)

Names my husband likes:
– Aiden (we live in Minneapolis, so I worry that Aiden Petersen sounds too much like former Vikings football player Adrian Peterson, but maybe I’m overthinking it – plus, I just don’t love it)
– Colin (just ok to me)
– William (I like the name William, but I don’t like any of the nicknames)

Names we like but can’t use because of family/close friends:
– Jack (coincidentally, our best friends used this name for their son born this summer, not knowing Graham was almost named it – they have great taste. :-) )
– Ben
– Miles

Also, both of our maternal grandfathers were named Vincent, so we think it might be nice to use it as a middle name to honor them both (and our mothers). This is not a requirement, as we’ve found that many names we like don’t go with Vincent, but also wondering if you have other ideas that would go well with that?

Is there a name out there that is classic but feels fresh, is not a nickname name, goes well with the (infuriating) last name that ends in -son, and I can get my husband to agree to? I feel like I peruse the same lists over and over (including reading Baby Name Wizard cover to cover and back again) and nothing is popping out at me. Would love some new ideas!

Thank you!
Kristen

First of all: high-five, name twin. I won’t go so far as to say Best Spelling, since there are many things to be said in favor of Kristin and so forth, but I do get a little thrill to see Our Spelling.

Secondly, I think the obvious solution here is for your husband to come around to the name Everett. It’s the best name. We get so, so, SO many letters where there is a best name, and the ONLY problem is that the other parent doesn’t like it, and so we all put our heads together to come up with not-that-name options—and then we get the follow-up and it’s like “Yay, the other parent came around!” Could we not WILL this to be one of those cases? Everett Petersen! Graham and Everett! It meets all the preferences!! COME ON!!!!

Also: it’s not pretentious. It isn’t. I know that’s a subjective thing, and a matter of opinion and whatever, but also: he is wrong. Tell him Swistle says Everett is not only a dapper gentleman name but also a cheerful farmer name. Everett, in flannel and denim, leaning on the fence chewing on a long straw, considering if it’s time to sheer the sheep yet. It’s part of the name’s charm, that you can easily picture an Everett sipping a cocktail OR slopping the pigs OR BOTH.

And it’s familiar but not super common! It’s a low-nickname name! It doesn’t end in -son! It is FABULOUS with the middle name Vincent! Tell your husband this: Swistle says “COME. ON.”

SIGH FINE. Okay, then I want to rule out all your husband’s choices. William is too common with a name like Graham, and also they both end in -am, and also it is NICKNAME-RICH—pretty much the exact equivalent of Matthew/Matt except WAY MORE SO. Aiden is too common too, though much better on the nickname thing. In 2018, according to the Social Security Administration, there were 2,165 new baby boys named Graham, 14,516 named William (plus another 19,837 named Liam), and 11,531 named Aiden/Aidan. Colin is good, popularity-wise (1,472 new baby boys in 2018), and there is Colin Firth to consider.

Let’s do consider him

I mean, LET’S

I do like the name Colin. With Graham, I like it better than Carter, except that YOU don’t like it better. But I feel like Carter spins Graham to a surname name, while Colin spins it more toward the gentleman/farmer thing I like so much, not that that means YOU have to like it so much. Also, with a brother named Graham, Carter shares a few too many letters/sounds with the word cracker.

Let’s see if we can find some more names along the Graham/Everett lines, in case your husband doesn’t come to his senses, I mean come around to what is clearly the best name, I mean change his mind.

Clark; Clark Petersen; Clark Vincent Petersen; Graham and Clark
Davis; Davis Petersen; Davis Vincent Petersen; Graham and Davis
Dean; Dean Petersen; Dean Vincent Petersen; Graham and Dean
Edmund; Edmund Petersen; Edmund Vincent Petersen; Graham and Edmund
Elliot; Elliot Petersen; Elliot Vincent Petersen; Graham and Elliot
Harvey; Harvey Petersen; Harvey Vincent Petersen; Graham and Harvey
Louis; Louis Petersen; Louis Vincent Petersen; Graham and Louis
Nolan; Nolan Petersen; Nolan Vincent Petersen; Graham and Nolan
Oliver; Oliver Petersen; Oliver Vincent Petersen; Graham and Oliver
Reid; Reid Petersen; Reid Vincent Petersen; Graham and Reid
Simon; Simon Petersen; Simon Vincent Petersen; Graham and Simon
Wesley; Wesley Petersen; Wesley Vincent Petersen; Graham and Wesley

I included some nickname-having names, because I get what your husband is saying about it being a pain to be both Matthew and Matt, but on the other hand that seems like (1) a perfectly ordinary name situation, like how you and I always have to spell our names so people know it’s the K & -en version, and also (2) Kids These Days don’t go by nicknames as commonly as When We Were Young. That is, any Matthew I grew up with was a Matt and that was that: the full version got brought out on the first day of class and at graduation; but Matthews born now are commonly called Matthew, and Williams are commonly called William, and so forth, and so I feel like there’s LESS of a “I’m always known as one name but my real name is something different” situation.

Name update:

Hi Swistle,

I’m so excited to announce the birth of our son, Everett James! My husband finally came around to the name (like we had hoped he would!). We both agreed upon meeting him that he is indeed Everett. We had discussed Vincent as a middle name but ultimately decided it was too long with Everett Petersen, so we chose James instead. James is a family name as well, but we picked it more because we liked it with Everett. And, this may be a stretch, but my middle name starts with a J and it feels special to share a middle initial. Thanks so much to you and all the readers who commented with other ideas (and support of Everett!).

Best,
Kristen

My husband and I are expecting our third and last child in January. We have 2 boys – Brady Mills and Walker Lee. Brady’s middle name is my maiden name, and Walker’s middle name is my middle name. We all use my husband’s surname, Kershmen. We are not finding out the gender of this baby until he/she is born.

For a boy we have settled on Davis Blake (Blake is my husband’s middle name and is what he goes by).

The girl name is trickier. Since we got pregnant with our first child we have loved the name Mila Blake and that is what we have always called our future imaginary daughter. The problem is, we like the pronunciation Myla, but the spelling/look of Mila. I have just now realized that naming a kid ‘x’ and asking people to pronounce it ‘y’ might be crazy. I like ‘Meela’ but it doesn’t make me feel the way ‘Myla’ does. But I’m totally out on spelling it Myla.

Other names we are now considering, all with Blake as a middle name:

Cora
Taylor
Mara
Claire (would have to find a different middle name for this one)

What are your thoughts? Do we need to let Mila go and come up with something else? Any other name suggestions?

Thanks!

My first thought was that it would be okay: I was remembering when names such as Mia first started coming into style, and people were wondering if it was MEE-a or MY-a, and it all worked out fine in the end. My second thought was “…But now we all know it’s MEE-a.”

I looked Mila up in a couple baby name books, just in case MY-la was offered as an alternate pronunciation, but no. I’m sure there ARE Milas out there pronounced MY-la (just as there are probably Mias pronounced MY-a), but if I encountered one, I would get that little eep feeling of wondering if that was on purpose or if the parents saw the name in writing and guessed wrong on the pronunciation. If I were a Mila pronounced Myla, I would get very tired of correcting people.

Here I was going to say that on the other hand, the name was not so common that it would be a constant issue. Then I looked up its current popularity and was surprised to find that, according to the Social Security Administration, Mila was the 14th most popular girl name in the U.S. in 2018. Well. That does change things for me.

I am not the name police and I am not the boss of you, but you have asked for my own opinion on this, and my own opinion is that no, you should not name her Mila and ask for it to be pronounced Myla. I think your choices are: (1) spell it Myla or (2) choose something else. (But I am bearing in mind that there is a third choice: saying “Heck with that, we’re doing what we want.”)

Looking at your list of other options, I wonder if you have already considered and rejected Clara: it’s like Cora plus Claire minus needing to find a different middle name. Clara Kershmen; Clara Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Clara.

Similar to Myla, I wonder if you’d like Lila. (If you are feeling it’s unfair that Lila looks just like Mila and yet they do not rhyme, I am with you and you have my sympathy.) Lila Kershmen; Lila Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Lila.

Let’s keep going with rhymes. Twila is pretty and underused. Twila Kershmen; Twila Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Twila.

Or Isla. Isla Kershmen; Isla Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Isla.

Maybe Dahlia or Delia? I recently encountered Delia in the wild and liked it more than I’d realized I would. Delia Kershmen; Delia Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Delia.

Or Maya. Maya Kershmen; Maya Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Maya.

Or Nadia. Nadia Kershmen; Nadia Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Nadia.

Or Ivy. Ivy Kershmen; Ivy Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Ivy.

Name update:

Hey Swistle,

Thanks to you and your readers for all the comments and name suggestions. I read through them several times throughout my pregnancy. In the end, we welcomed a precious boy and our indecision on a girl’s name did not matter! Here is our third boy, Davis Blake. We are in love <3  

Dear Swistle,

I’ve been reading your blog for years, and am now in dire need of your help as a baby naming expert/unicorn.

It’s been a difficult road, but we are thrilled to finally be expecting our third and final child – a girl – in January. Our two boys have familiar, but not super common, Biblical names (not in the top 100). We are Jewish and our last name is a one syllable, multi-consonant mouthful beginning with “Sh.”

The name we absolutely love – the one that makes my heart sing and say, “Yes, this is my daughter” is Calla. But…. it’s just so unusual, particularly compared to my boys’ names, and according to assorted random internet commenters – (you should always listen to those, right?) – Calla seems like “not a name.”

What are your thoughts? Is Calla a unique, but legitimate, alternative to more common floral or antique charm names like Violet, Lily, or Lila and destined for its day in the baby naming sun? Or does it sound completely made up and/or unfinished? We don’t like invented names, uber trendy names, or non-traditional spellings. Other names I like are Nora, Eve, and Hazel, but I don’t love any of these nearly as much as I love Calla.

Thank you so much & I promise to send an update once she’s born!
~An indecisive mama

I’m so annoyed at the idea of some internet commenter saying Calla doesn’t seem like a name. What does that even mean? It IS a name! You know what makes a name seem like a name? INCREASED USAGE AS A NAME. You know what can inhibit increased usage as a name? GOING AROUND SAYING IT DOESN’T SEEM LIKE A NAME. I’m sure if there had been the internet back when the name Jennifer was first appearing in U.S. usage, we would have a record of commenters saying it didn’t really seem like a name to them.

Well. The name Calla IS a name, and we don’t need to waste time debating whether or not it SEEMS like one with internet strangers. We CAN discuss its usage as a name. The Social Security Administration makes available for download their background information on names going back to 1880. I checked in 1880, and there were 6 new baby girls that year named Calla. So the name has been in use in the U.S. since AT LEAST 1880. (You know what name has NOT been used in the U.S. that long? JENNIFER.) Let’s check in with the name every ten years:

1880: 6
1890: 10
1900: 7
1910: 5
1920: 14
1930: 10
1940: 5
1950: 12
1960: 8
1970: 5
1980: 7
1990: 41
2000: 57
2010: 233

And in 2018, there were 122 new baby girls named Calla. That puts it currently in a similar popularity category with Constance, Calista, Lucinda, Moira, Cecily, Lois, Joan, and Millicent.

It was used rarely but at a fairly consistent rate until 1986, when it abruptly increased in usage. I looked into it a little bit to see what brought it to everyone’s attention, and it seems to have been…a TV show about gummi bears? Well! That is not something I’d have known, nor an association I imagine lingers with any strength, though perhaps others can weigh in on this.

For me the only association is with the flower, so I do think of it as a less-common flower/nature/word name, roughly in the same category as the names Dahlia and Fern. I wouldn’t be surprised to see it getting more popular alongside names such as Ella and Lila.

I don’t think it matters if the name is less common than the names you used for your sons, as long as the particular mix of names doesn’t sound startlingly odd together: it’s not at all unusual for parents to have a different naming style for boys than for girls. My own style is Top 50 boy names and less common girl names, and it made me VERY NERVOUS when I was naming my girl, but it hasn’t been an issue at all. It helps that U.S. culture overall is more creative with and accepting of unusual names for girls.

Make sure to test out the first name and surname together (that is, without the middle name) to see if they blend together. I wondered briefly if Calla + S_____ might form the word “callous,” but I don’t think that happens with the initial sound is Sh- rather than S-.

I think if you love it, there is no reason I can see not to use it—and I think you’ll be happy you did.

Name update:

Hi Swistle,

We so appreciate your – (and your readers’!) – reassurance around the name Calla and quickly agreed we would definitely use it. The middle name was another story, but we finally settled on Call@ Jul1et after meeting our sweet baby girl in the hospital. Thanks so much again!