Here is the game we are playing:

We are going to pretend that we are naming a baby and that the name MUST start with a certain letter, and so we will need one name starting with that letter for a boy and one name starting with that letter for a girl, or else one name that would work for either, EVEN IF we don’t like any of the names that start with that letter enough to Actually In Real Life choose them. It is just a game where we place artificial restrictions on reality in order to create the kind of tension that makes games fun—like when you have to choose what foods you’d eat if you could only eat three foods for the rest of your life: the fun is in thinking it over AS IF it were a real forced decision, while KNOWING it is not. There is a baby! It MUST be given a name with a particular letter! That is the game.

After that basic concept, we can decide our own sub-rules, based on what makes the game fun and not stressful. Some examples:

• I’m not planning to play that the name has to fit with the names of my other children or with the surname, though this would be an option for anyone who would LIKE to play it that way; I think I will have more fun if I pretend it is a stand-alone baby and that the surname is not an issue, though I may change my mind as we go. (And if I narrow it down to a few options and can’t decide, I might use siblings/surname as a tie-breaker.)

• It is also fine to narrow it down to a few finalists without getting to The One Name.

• It is fine to wave aside issues such as a friend who already used that name, a famous person with the name, etc., if that makes it more fun and less stressful to choose. This is just pretend, so you can pretend that those things aren’t issues if you want to. (Or you can let the issues stand as they are in real life, if THAT is more fun.)

• We can also all make our own decisions about whether the names have to be ones we think we’d ACTUALLY USE in that hypothetical scenario, or just our FAVORITE names starting with that letter, regardless of whether we think the names are practical; I am not sure which way I will play it, and I likely won’t be consistent.

• If you already have a child with a name starting with the letter we’re working on, you get to pick again from all the names that remain; you don’t have to choose your child’s name as your favorite just because it WAS your favorite: this is a FRESH baby, and you wouldn’t give it the same name as your existing child. (If you would normally prefer not to repeat an initial within a sibling group, you can just pretend that’s NOT a preference for the sake of the game.)

• You can do as much or as little explanation as you like in your comment: you can just list the names you chose, or you can explain your process/preferences/reasoning/runners-up, or whatever is most fun.

Today’s letter is Q. We knew this letter was coming. The Baby Name Wizard has literally one Q name in the girl section. (Quinn.) I’d hoped the index would fill that out a little, and it did, but, like: Queen, Queenie, Quiana, Quinnlan. The Baby Name Bible tends to have more options in order to be able to say 50,000+ on the cover (though many of them come with sarcastic/dismissive comments such as “Sounds too much like the name of a minivan” or “Would certainly stand out in an American classroom”), so I checked it next, and it did have a slightly longer Q section (20 girl names), and I guess I choose Quilla. I’m not saying I love it, but I am saying I like it and could live with it.

For boy names, I felt as if there were more possible options, but then I had a harder time picking one. Quentin, Quinn, Quincy, Quinlan. I guess I choose Quinlan, but I feel a little uncomfortable. Maybe I would choose Quinn instead, since Quinlan feels to me like someone who wanted to choose Quinn but felt it needed to be longer. Or maybe, since it would be my fifth boy, I would choose Quentin. Yes, I think I would choose Quentin, because I would feel as if I had a good explanation for it. Yes, that’s my final decision: Quentin.

Now you! If you want to! Only if it’s fun and not stressful! Feel free to adjust the game-play to be fun and not stressful!

Here is the game we are playing:

We are going to pretend that we are naming a baby and that the name MUST start with a certain letter, and so we will need one name starting with that letter for a boy and one name starting with that letter for a girl, or else one name that would work for either, EVEN IF we don’t like any of the names that start with that letter enough to Actually In Real Life choose them. It is just a game where we place artificial restrictions on reality in order to create the kind of tension that makes games fun—like when you have to choose what foods you’d eat if you could only eat three foods for the rest of your life: the fun is in thinking it over AS IF it were a real forced decision, while KNOWING it is not. There is a baby! It MUST be given a name with a particular letter! That is the game.

After that basic concept, we can decide our own sub-rules, based on what makes the game fun and not stressful. Some examples:

• I’m not planning to play that the name has to fit with the names of my other children or with the surname, though this would be an option for anyone who would LIKE to play it that way; I think I will have more fun if I pretend it is a stand-alone baby and that the surname is not an issue, though I may change my mind as we go. (And if I narrow it down to a few options and can’t decide, I might use siblings/surname as a tie-breaker.)

• It is also fine to narrow it down to a few finalists without getting to The One Name.

• It is fine to wave aside issues such as a friend who already used that name, a famous person with the name, etc., if that makes it more fun and less stressful to choose. This is just pretend, so you can pretend that those things aren’t issues if you want to. (Or you can let the issues stand as they are in real life, if THAT is more fun.)

• We can also all make our own decisions about whether the names have to be ones we think we’d ACTUALLY USE in that hypothetical scenario, or just our FAVORITE names starting with that letter, regardless of whether we think the names are practical; I am not sure which way I will play it, and I likely won’t be consistent.

• If you already have a child with a name starting with the letter we’re working on, you get to pick again from all the names that remain; you don’t have to choose your child’s name as your favorite just because it WAS your favorite: this is a FRESH baby, and you wouldn’t give it the same name as your existing child. (If you would normally prefer not to repeat an initial within a sibling group, you can just pretend that’s NOT a preference for the sake of the game.)

• You can do as much or as little explanation as you like in your comment: you can just list the names you chose, or you can explain your process/preferences/reasoning/runners-up, or whatever is most fun.

Today’s letter is R. I already have Rose on my list of girl names: it’s very common right now as a middle name, but I feel like it retains freshness as a first name. I have Ruth on my list of middle names, but if I had a baby to name RIGHT NOW, I think I would promote it to first name. In fact, I’m all but certain I would. Ruth! That’s my pick. I feel a surge of joy at the idea.

For a boy, I like Reid and Ruben and Rufus and Rhys and Russell. I have also come completely around to the name Robert, after using it as a blog pseudonym for one of my kids. And I have liked the name Roger ever since hearing that an old nickname for it is Hodge. HODGE. I love it. If I think of naming an actual baby in my actual house/city, I feel most comfortable with Reid or Robert; but if I pick what my heart leans toward, it’s Roger/Hodge.

Now you! If you want to! Only if it’s fun and not stressful! Feel free to adjust the game-play to be fun and not stressful!

Here is the game we are playing:

We are going to pretend that we are naming a baby and that the name MUST start with a certain letter, and so we will need one name starting with that letter for a boy and one name starting with that letter for a girl, or else one name that would work for either, EVEN IF we don’t like any of the names that start with that letter enough to Actually In Real Life choose them. It is just a game where we place artificial restrictions on reality in order to create the kind of tension that makes games fun—like when you have to choose what foods you’d eat if you could only eat three foods for the rest of your life: the fun is in thinking it over AS IF it were a real forced decision, while KNOWING it is not. There is a baby! It MUST be given a name with a particular letter! That is the game.

After that basic concept, we can decide our own sub-rules, based on what makes the game fun and not stressful. Some examples:

• I’m not planning to play that the name has to fit with the names of my other children or with the surname, though this would be an option for anyone who would LIKE to play it that way; I think I will have more fun if I pretend it is a stand-alone baby and that the surname is not an issue, though I may change my mind as we go. (And if I narrow it down to a few options and can’t decide, I might use siblings/surname as a tie-breaker.)

• It is also fine to narrow it down to a few finalists without getting to The One Name.

• It is fine to wave aside issues such as a friend who already used that name, a famous person with the name, etc., if that makes it more fun and less stressful to choose. This is just pretend, so you can pretend that those things aren’t issues if you want to. (Or you can let the issues stand as they are in real life, if THAT is more fun.)

• We can also all make our own decisions about whether the names have to be ones we think we’d ACTUALLY USE in that hypothetical scenario, or just our FAVORITE names starting with that letter, regardless of whether we think the names are practical; I am not sure which way I will play it, and I likely won’t be consistent.

• If you already have a child with a name starting with the letter we’re working on, you get to pick again from all the names that remain; you don’t have to choose your child’s name as your favorite just because it WAS your favorite: this is a FRESH baby, and you wouldn’t give it the same name as your existing child. (If you would normally prefer not to repeat an initial within a sibling group, you can just pretend that’s NOT a preference for the sake of the game.)

• You can do as much or as little explanation as you like in your comment: you can just list the names you chose, or you can explain your process/preferences/reasoning/runners-up, or whatever is most fun.

Today’s letter is S. I have Sabrina, Sally, and Simone on my girl-name list already. I’d want to consider Seraphina, Sophronia/Phronsie, Susanna(h), and Sylvia, too. But I think I would end up choosing Sabrina.

I have an S name on my boy-name list already, too, and it’s Simon; however, we named a cat Simon. (My policy going forward: NO POTENTIAL GRANDCHILD NAMES FOR ANIMALS.) A recent surprising addition to my list is Stanley, which came from watching the show Detectorists, which I recommend for nice calm viewing in These Stressful Times; I have a Cute Boy association with the name, because of Stan in the Beverly Cleary book Fifteen. I have had Shepard/Shep and Smith on my list, but I don’t think I’d use either one. I like Solomon, but people already think we’re a religious homeschooling family and I don’t want to feed into that. Oh, Sullivan! I’ve had Sullivan on my list. I like that. I think if I were naming an actual child of mine, though, I would end up using Simon, with the for-the-game assumption that everyone could get over the issue of the cat’s name.

Now you! If you want to! Only if it’s fun and not stressful! Feel free to adjust the game-play to be fun and not stressful!

Here is the game we are playing:

We are going to pretend that we are naming a baby and that the name MUST start with a certain letter, and so we will need one name starting with that letter for a boy and one name starting with that letter for a girl, or else one name that would work for either, EVEN IF we don’t like any of the names that start with that letter enough to Actually In Real Life choose them. It is just a game where we place artificial restrictions on reality in order to create the kind of tension that makes games fun—like when you have to choose what foods you’d eat if you could only eat three foods for the rest of your life: the fun is in thinking it over AS IF it were a real forced decision, while KNOWING it is not. There is a baby! It MUST be given a name with a particular letter! That is the game.

After that basic concept, we can decide our own sub-rules, based on what makes the game fun and not stressful. Some examples:

• I’m not planning to play that the name has to fit with the names of my other children or with the surname, though this would be an option for anyone who would LIKE to play it that way; I think I will have more fun if I pretend it is a stand-alone baby and that the surname is not an issue, though I may change my mind as we go. (And if I narrow it down to a few options and can’t decide, I might use siblings/surname as a tie-breaker.)

• It is also fine to narrow it down to a few finalists without getting to The One Name.

• It is fine to wave aside issues such as a friend who already used that name, a famous person with the name, etc., if that makes it more fun and less stressful to choose. This is just pretend, so you can pretend that those things aren’t issues if you want to. (Or you can let the issues stand as they are in real life, if THAT is more fun.)

• We can also all make our own decisions about whether the names have to be ones we think we’d ACTUALLY USE in that hypothetical scenario, or just our FAVORITE names starting with that letter, regardless of whether we think the names are practical; I am not sure which way I will play it, and I likely won’t be consistent.

• If you already have a child with a name starting with the letter we’re working on, you get to pick again from all the names that remain; you don’t have to choose your child’s name as your favorite just because it WAS your favorite: this is a FRESH baby, and you wouldn’t give it the same name as your existing child. (If you would normally prefer not to repeat an initial within a sibling group, you can just pretend that’s NOT a preference for the sake of the game.)

• You can do as much or as little explanation as you like in your comment: you can just list the names you chose, or you can explain your process/preferences/reasoning/runners-up, or whatever is most fun.

Today’s letter is T. I had expected this to be an easy one, and I suppose compared to U it is, but I still struggled—I think because it isn’t the challenge level of letters such as X and Y and Z, where I went into it knowing I just wasn’t going to find something already on my list. There are lots of T names to choose from, which makes it feel as if I SHOULD be able to find a name I’d love, which makes it harder to play this one as a game. It’s like trying to choose a paint color when you don’t really like that color but there are hundreds of shades of it to choose from.

I warn you I am extra chatty today. I am trying to distract myself from the U.S. presidential debate, which I made the grave mistake of watching for twenty minutes, and it left poison in my brain. It will take some time for that poison to work its way out of my system, and in the meantime I am talking frenetically about really ANYTHING ELSE.

As a child I liked Theodora and Thomasina for a girl, in part because I have always liked names that are A Lot of Name; and in part because I grew up during the giant and long-running fad of “short boyish nicknames for long feminine names,” and a Theodora could use Teddy or Theo, and a Thomasina could use Tom/Tommy. These days I am feeling less inclined toward feminized male names, and short boyish nicknames no longer feel as fresh to me as they did in the 1980s/1990s. But I do still very much like Thomasina, and I just learned that Tamsin is a nickname for it, and that is adorable. I also like Thea now, either as a given name or as a nickname for Theodora; but I think Dora the Explorer has taken Theodora off the list for me. Theodosia is nice, but crosses my own preference line for familiarity/usage.

The TV show Bones accustomed me to the name Temperance, but I don’t think I’d want to actually use it, because I also associate it with the Women’s Christian Temperance Union. I like the name Teagan, but it’s outside my usual style. Twila is pretty. You know, I find I rather like the name Tilda, and I like the nickname Tilly. Do we immediate think “~” when we hear Tilda, or no? I also like the name Tess. I think I would choose Tess. Or actually now I’m leaning back toward Thomasina. What about Thomasina with the nickname Tess? Visually it doesn’t click, but the sound of it feels right to me: Thomasina/Tessie/Tess, and the option of Tamsin.

For a boy, I like the names Teague and Thatcher and Thompson and Truman and Turner, but they’re not my usual style. Theodore and Thomas should be my style but for whatever reason aren’t. Tolliver is cute but I don’t think I would want to deal with the Oliver confusion; also, my usual preference is for more-common boy names—like, Top 50, mayyyyyybe Top 100. I am ready to hear the name Timothy again, but I have a bad association that would prevent me using it myself. Terrence appeals to me in large part because of a little boy I knew in early elementary school, who was an absolute peach (held my hand at recess companionably and unselfconsciously despite taunting from older kids; was the only boy who could be relied on not to try to step on girls’ feet during square-dance lessons) and whose name was Terrence, called Terry. Paul and I considered Thijs (a Dutch name pronounced like Tice, rhymes with rice), but decided we weren’t up to the challenge. I would not normally want to use a nickname as a given name, but I like Ted, and it could be an honor name, so I would use Ted. Or actually, wait: Torin. Wait again: Tully. Or maybe Tobin? I can’t decide! Okay, I am going to force myself to choose, and I choose Terry. I know it’s a dad name now, and I don’t usually choose unisex names, but that’s the only one that makes me happy to think of using it.

Now you! If you want to! Only if it’s fun and not stressful! Feel free to adjust the game-play to be fun and not stressful!