Tricia writes:

My first child, a boy, is due August 14, and I am in desperate need of your expertise and ideas.

My last name is pronounced “ING-grum.”

We are going to be a Mom-Kid family, so using a name that connects to the males in my family tree holds great appeal but there are only two under serious consideration. The first of these is William – my grandfather. I like the name, but I don’t LOVE it, and I despair that it’s so common. The second name is Edgar, and the history there is pretty deep: my dad, great-uncle (who died in WWII shortly before my father was born) and great-grandfather. I don’t have any siblings, so the name stopped with my dad. My dad uses the nn Ted, and it’s perfect on him, but I can’t quite wrap my brain around it for my son. Ed/Eddie are not options as a nickname.

If nothing else, I’ll probably use either William or Edgar as a mn.

I should also note that my dad’s middle name is Grey (it was his mother’s maiden name). It’s on my list of possibilities, and I’d love it if there weren’t the rather gloomy, grey-day association.

I’d prefer to give my son a formal name that has a nickname, but I tend to only like the nickname for many of the options I’m considering. Also, a lot of sounds either clash with ING-grum, or blur into it – for example Chris sounds like Chri-sing-grum, but paired with Alec, the “Ing” tends to sound like “Ink” – at least when I say it!

I’m athletic and outdoorsy. My personal style tends to be eclectic, classic or comfortable, versus trendy, hip or artsy. My family genealogy can best be described as western European mutt — not much to draw on there, and I find myself shying away from names that have especially strong ethnic associations because they feel “phony” when applied to me.

Some of the names I like, with caveats:

Leo – very appealing to me, but might be too much of a hipster name. Also, I don’t like Leonard as a formal name. AND, he’s probably going to be a Leo (astrologically speaking), so maybe this is too much? I know you just addressed Leo in a recent post, and based on that, I’m giving “Leo as a complete name” more consideration.

Theo – an homage to my dad’s nn of Ted – I like Theo, but the “dore” in Theodore bugs me

Alexander – LOVE but too popular?

Thomas

Max – have loved this name forever, not crazy about Maximilian, Maximus, etc.

Graham – appeals to me, but friends have vetoed it because the spelling (but not pronunciation) is identical to the second syllable of my ln

Patrick – but not with nn Pat

Parker

Tucker

Quinn – kind of blurs with “ING-grum”

Garrett

Elliot

Grey – cute, but gloomy

Names that are ‘taken’ by friends/family, or that I’ve otherwise ruled out:

Jack

Sam

Ryan

Dylan

Liam

Mason

Miles

Damian

James

I feel like I’m all over the map! Can you please give me some direction??

Thank you so much!

Edgar seems like a great option for you: unusual, with huge family ties. But it sounds like you definitely want a nickname but you don’t want any of the nicknames for Edgar. So let’s rule Edgar out as a first name.

Well, wait. Wait wait wait. What about naming him Edgar Grey Ingrum, and using Grey as the nickname? It’s a little bit of a reach, but I like so much your idea of using family names here. He’d be Edgar Grey Ingrum II, I think—since he’s not a Jr. and yet he’d have the same name as your father—but you wouldn’t HAVE to use the II. It seems like a pretty excellent way to give your son strong male family ties and carry on an important family name that might otherwise be lost—plus you could use a name you love but might feel uncertain about using in the first-name slot because of the gloominess associations you mention. (I myself associate grey with grey flannel pants and with dreamy grey eyes.)

Name update! Tricia writes:

It has been more than a year(!!) since you helped me with my naming dilemma. I’m ashamed to be this late in saying thank you to you and your readers, but Thank You.

You wrote: “What about naming him Edgar Grey Ingrum, and using Grey as the nickname?”

I read that, and burst into tears. Yes, I was 8.5 months pregnant and a touch weepy, but even then, the crying caught me off guard. Each time I checked comments or reread your advice, I had the same teary response.

Edgar still seemed like a big, clunky name for my wee baby, so I wasn’t completely sold until my son arrived. From the first moment, he looked exactly like my dad. I was flush with emotion and love for my family. And so he is Edgar – the FIFTH in our family line. (if you’re wondering how that works, we’re a mom-kid family – hence my son has the same last name as me and my dad)

His middle name is Graysen, and that’s what everyone calls him. Fits him beautifully, and my dad, Edgar Gray (not Grey, as I wrote earlier), is so tickled with his little namesake.

Thanks again!

Amanda writes:

I’m due with our first baby (a boy) in mid-August. We are still up in the air about his name and would love some outside opinions. Our last name is Snyder.

The top two names that we have are Levi and Owen. We decided that we really liked Levi very soon after we found out that he was a boy and that was the moniker we used through most of the pregnancy. But then we decided that we would like options! What if he is born and isn’t a Levi? This is where Owen was chosen. I still really love Levi, but agree that exploring other options is a good thing. We were trying to stay away from the very popular names and I seem to like more “old fashion” names.

We also like Lukas, Joel, Liam, and Forrest.

The middle name is also a bugger. We would like to use a family name. It’s sort of tradition to use the father’s name as the son’s middle name, which would be Eric. But Levi Eric Snyder doesn’t flow as nicely as we would like. Owen Eric Snyder is worse. Other family names include: Theodore, Daniel, Raymond, Harley, Merlin, Wilchie… or we could ditch tradition and go with something else completely.

Thanks for your help!

I DO like the flow of Levi Eric Snyder. But then, I’m drawn to the 2-2-2 name-syllable structure, when I know a lot of people try to vary the syllables of the parts of the name to break it up a little. I also like the rhythm of Liam Eric Snyder and Levi Daniel Snyder and so forth—but others might prefer the rhythm of something more like Levi Theodore Snyder.

With Levi or Liam or Lukas Snyder, there is the possibility of ending up with the monogram (surname initial in the middle, first name initial on the left, middle name initial on the right) LSD—which I’d want to avoid just because I’m a Meaningful Initial avoider. So even though I like the sound of Levi Daniel Snyder, I might not use it. I think I would also avoid Lukas Snyder because of the way the two S sounds merge. But I also think these are all minor issues: monograms are uncommon and a little extra S-sound never hurt anyone.

Do you have any men named John in the family? I think Levi John Snyder sounds handsome.

With Owen, I like Theodore: Owen Theodore Snyder. I also like Owen Daniel Snyder, and Owen Levi Snyder if you decide not to use a family name. But I also think Owen Eric is fine, because of how infrequently the first and middle names are said together.

I am having trouble thinking of more options because I like Levi Eric Snyder so much and I think you should use it! It seems just right: the first name you’ve loved all along, plus the middle name tradition.

Name update 08-10-2010! Amanda writes:

Levi Eric Snyder was born on Aug 6th; a week early, to everyone’s surprise! Thanks for the reassurance that our gut instinct was a good name for our precious baby boy. Cheers!

Rachel writes:

My husband and I are expecting a baby boy (our first baby!) on August 15th and would love some help picking out a name.

In the Jewish tradition we would like to honor the grandparents we’ve lost by using their first initials for the baby’s name. We’d like to honor both his side and my side. The letters we have to work with from my side of the family is: J or M. And the letters from my husbands side are: E or A. Our last name is Greenfield and is pretty easy to match.

So far we haven’t been able to get beyond two front runners names: Evan and Max. But I’m a little worried about how popular they are or are becoming and I’m having trouble matching middle names. I also don’t love the formal names for Max (my husband like Maxwell, but I’m not a huge fan). We considered using both names together, but are afraid of having another boy the second time around and using up both names we like in one fell swoop! It may be worth noting that I really like the name Alex/Alexander also, but my husband vetoed this since we have a close friend named Alex. The girl names I would considered are Livia and Sasha.

The few names I’ve brainstormed are:

Max Cooper(Cooper is a family name on my husband’s side, so we wouldn’t need the E/A).
Max Evan (or Maxwell Evan)
Evan Merek (or Merik?)
Jack Ethan

We would love your input/suggestions!!!

Ooo, you have good letters to work with! Let’s see…A, E, J, or M.

A Name Suggestions:

Aaron Greenfield
Adam Greenfield
Alec Greenfield
Anderson Greenfield

E Name Suggestions:

Edmund Greenfield
Elias Greenfield
Elliot Greenfield
Emmett Greenfield
Everett Greenfield

J Name Suggestions:

James Greenfield
Jared Greenfield
Jeremy Greenfield
Joel Greenfield
Jon Greenfield

M Name Suggestions:

Malcolm Greenfield
Micah Greenfield
Miles Greenfield
Milo Greenfield

Some possible both-sides-of-family pairings:

Elliot Michael Greenfield
Everett Max Greenfield
Jon Alexander Greenfield
Malcolm Cooper Greenfield
Milo Anderson Greenfield

But my top favorite is your choice of Evan Merek. Or maybe Evan Merrit? I also like Evan Cooper Greenfield, Evan Malcolm Greenfield, and Evan Miller Greenfield.

Name update! Rachel writes:

I’m just realizing now that I asked for name help back in July 2010 and forgot to send you an update.  It may have been because our little boy was born 3 1/2 weeks early, only four days after you responded with your post!

We ended up naming our son Evan Maxwell Greenfield.   He was going to be Max right up until the eve of my scheduled emergency c-section, but somehow Evan started to feel much more “right”.   We didn’t settle on his full name until he was born.  Several hours after his birth and (my parents begging to know the baby’s name!), we decided to risk it and use both favorite boys names we loved in one fell swoop.  I let my husband “win” by using the more formal Maxwell instead of Max.

Philippa writes:

It is so hard to find a boy’s name! I’m due with a baby boy in mid August. We already have a girl, Rose Helen (Lastname). The last name sounds like “Bemelmans”, which is the last name of the author of the Madeline books. Except my baby’s last name will have an ‘rk’ where the first ‘m’ is, so we’re not working with as many ‘m’ sounds. The middle name will be Scott (that’s my last name). We are really stuck for a first name!

I need a name that is common enough to be pronounced right the first time by any English speaker. A name that has an obvious nickname. A name that’s not Biblical.

If Rose was a boy, we would have named her William Scott ‘Bemelmans’. That’s where we are right now. Probably going with William. I’m just not wild about it. It’s a family name on my husband’s side (his middle name, and his Dad’s name translated from Dutch). Last year, my husband’s sister had a baby with the middle name William, and I’m a bit cagey on having two tribute babies to the same person (my husband’s Dad). Plus, I’ve just never really loved that name. I really like the idea of each of our children having a name of their own, then one of my names (Helen is my middle name, and my mum’s name), and then their Dad’s last name.

Names that we’ve seriously considered and ruled out are:
Alexander (this would be my choice if a friend hadn’t just had an Alex)
Anton
Martin
Louis
Henry
Wesley
Oliver

If we were having another girl, we would have debated:
Katharine Violet
Alexandra Violet
Juliet Violet
Diana Violet
Penelope Violet

(Violet is a family name on my side, it’s my grandmother and great-grandmother’s name)

Help, please! I know that if we go with William, it will grow on me. I just felt that bolt of lightning when we chose Rosie’s name, and it suits her perfectly. I want that again!

Thank you!

I, too, get that feeling that once is probably enough for each ancestor to be honored. I think it’s FINE if more than one family member wants to use the name (it isn’t at ALL that I think they SHOULDN’T), but if you’re looking for something different I see what you mean, and my guess is that all the other ancestors agree with us also.

One of my favorite “names that are like William but NOT William” is Wilson. It’s easy to pronounce, and it still gets the nickname Will. Wilson Scott Bemelmans.

I feel like I’ve mentioned this name pretty often recently, but whenever I see Henry and Oliver and Wesley on someone’s list I suggest Simon. The names feel similar to me. Simon Scott Bemelmans. And I love the names Rose and Simon together. But I’m not sure Sy meets your request for an obvious nickname.

Maybe Calvin? Calvin Scott Bemelmans, nickname Cal; Rose and Calvin.

Names Alexander makes me think of:

Benjamin (Ben)
Christopher (Chris)
Jonathan (Jon)
Nathaniel (Nate)
Nicholas (Nick)
Zachary (Zack)

But most of those are biblical. …In fact, ALL? Are they ALL biblical?

Edward might get too entangled with the Twilight thing, but maybe Edmund (Ed/Ted)?

Joseph (Joe) seems like it would be particularly nice with Rose—or maybe the matching long-O sounds are TOO good together? Oh shoot! Biblical!

I like Warren and think it’s underused. Warren Scott Bemelmans.

Spencer? Easy to pronounce, easy nickname, non-biblical. Spencer Scott Bemelmans. Or maybe the repeating “er” sound with your actual surname is too much “er”.

I keep thinking of more names that are easy to pronounce and have obvious nicknames, but then they’re biblical: Daniel, Philip, Andrew, Samuel. And then I think of non-biblical names, but they don’t have an obvious nickname: Elliot, Emmett, Everett, Quinn, Ruben.

This is hard! Help!

Name update 08-17-2010! Philippa writes:

Our baby boy was born 8/10, and we decided in the end to name him William Scott ‘Bemelmans’. After about seven months of searching for another name, nothing else felt right, and in fact felt like we would have been using something else just for the sake of it. We call our baby Will, and he is adorable. His name goes very well with his sister Rose: Will and Rosie. Both bright, cheerful, gently old-fashioned names. I don’t care that it’s popular- number one in my home country of Australia and number five in the US, or that both he and his cousin have names in honor of their grandfather. It suits him perfectly.

Thank you for your help!

Deb writes:

Hi~ We are in need of some opinions. We are expecting girl number 3 on August 12. We currently have Eva Joy and Addison Louise. Although we hardly ever call her Addison, always Adi. We decided on the three letters because it seemed more simple for our crazy long lastname sounding like Farn-brook. The first two names were so easy, as the girls were named by the 20 week ultrasound. I’m feeling uneasy about not having this one named yet! :) We had a boy name all ready to go… Tate.

I like the idea of using a vowel again, and Isabel has always been on our top. Calling her Izzy. But then I fear if we would ever have more, would we always have to use vowels? And would they all have to be matchy-matchy? We really like Isabel because of the meaning of the name. That doesn’t really have a lot to do with our decision, obviously with Addison meaning “Adam’s son.”

I really like more the old fashioned names with a modern twist. Some top names right now are;

Isabel
Cora (one of our friends recently used this name, its pretty much out)
Aurora(we live just over 30 minutes from the town with that name)
Brynna-call her bri or bryn

As far as my husband goes, he loves the long name that inevitably will result in a more masculine nickname, not that its a bad thing, I just do not prefer it.
Josephine-Jo/Josie
Samantha-Sam/Sami
Desiree-Des/Desi(my fav. of his)
Isabel
As far as middle names, we will use a family name. Jane, Joan (Jo-ann) Ruth, Goldie. That’s not so much of an issue, as we feel we can find a family name that will go somewhere. (We have big families)

Names that are out are the gender neutral names.
Taylor
Jordan
Peyton
Along those lines.

Thanks for the advice!

If Isabel is your top choice, I think you should use it: it’s great with Eva and Addison, and it’s great with your surname. I like Isabel Jane best. I THINK you’re safe with the vowel pattern, or at least I wouldn’t have noticed it. I’m interested to know if other people would have noticed it or not, so let’s have a poll over to the right (and let’s hope it works this time—the last poll did seem to finally start working, but my confidence has been shaken). [Poll closed; see results below.] [P.S. Clearly it did not work. I’m keeping this here because how did this even happen?.]

Name update! Deb writes:

Hi! We delivered a healthy baby girl on Friday August 13. We named her Vivienne Joan. We decided against Isabel because it was too popular and we were trying to avoid another Addison. My husband loved the name, and I loved the nn Vivi. So we now have baby Vivi. Thanks for all the suggestions!

Emilie writes:

I have a baby name problem. We are due with our second child at the beginning of August and are lost for a boy name. My daughter’s name is Charlotte Ann (Ann is a family name). I find girls names to be really easy, and boys names to be very difficult! If this baby were a girl, I probably would have named her Georgia (back-up name Annabel), likely middle name Marie (family name). However, I’m not sure that my naming style is the same for boys as it is for girls, so not sure how helpful that information is. The middle name of this boy will likely be Robert (another family name). This is our last child, so no worries about future siblings.

Here’s the problem: our last name. It’s one syllable, quite harsh sounding, ends in the “ck” sound. Think: nickname for Huckleberry Finn. So first of all, any names like Finn, Thomas/Tom, or Sawyer are out. As are names like Jack, Nick, etc. I’ve found that I’ve had to rule out many names because they just don’t sound good with our last name. It’s challenging.

I love the name Henry for someone else’s kid, but don’t like the alliteration with our last name. I love the name Lucas, but the inevitable nickname Luke is a problem with our ln. I love the name Simon, but can’t use it. Other names in the don’t like/can’t use/family member pile: Silas, Charles, Elliot, Julian, Samuel, Benjamin, Nathan/Nathaniel, George, Nolan, Andrew.

One more thing: no first names that sound like last names. I’m afraid people might reverse the first and last names (happens to my husband quite often).

I’ve resigned myself to the fact that we’re just going to have to pick a popular, somewhat boring name for this kid (I don’t want any names that are too “out there” – my husband has a very weird name and wants this name to be very normal and recognizable). I like Ethan, but it will likely be the #1 name this year. Ditto for Alexander/Alex (and our next door neighbor is named Alex). I do like James, but find it a bit boring. Is James boring? An interesting tidbit is that both of our mothers suggested the name James in the same week (and the name was on our list already), so I’m looking at that as a bit of a sign, but just am not really excited about the name.

Will someone please name this baby? :-)

I wonder if you’d like Oliver? It’s one of my favorite boy names and seems similar to Simon and Henry, and it’s very normal and recognizable but still seems non-boring to me. It’s definitely rising in popularity, though, and it’s hard to predict where it’ll end up on the charts. I suspect it won’t get way up there, but if guesses were horses we’d all buy oats by the ton. Oliver Robert H_ck.

Leo is another from my list of favorites, though maybe it’s too nicknamey? I think of it as a complete name, and it’s a little similar to Lucas. Leo Robert H_ck.

If Leo appeals to you but IS too nicknamey, maybe Milo. Milo Robert H_ck. I think Charlotte and Milo sound adorable together. Miles would be good too: Miles Robert H_ck.

If you like Ethan, I suggest Evan or Ian. Evan is Top 50 but doesn’t seem headed for any kind of trend spike. And Ian has been hovering in the 60s/70s/80s ranks for DECADES. Evan Robert H_ck, Ian Robert H_ck.

I don’t find James at all boring, and I like the nickname options as well as the option of not using a nickname, but Jim was Huckleberry Finn’s traveling buddy–is that okay?

A name I LOVE with your surname is Elias: Elias H_ck, Elias Robert H_ck, Charlotte and Elias.

Jasper might get popular because of the Twilight association, but it’s also a really good and non-boring name: Jasper Robert H_ck, Charlotte and Jasper.

The name Kyle used to look like it was heading for Top Ten, but it’s been dropping way back down. Kyle Robert H_ck.

Name update 08-14-2010! Emilie writes:

Ian Robert was born on August 7. Thanks to you and your readers for all of your great suggestions. His name fits him perfectly!