Jacqui writes:

So with just 2 weeks until baby boy #2’s awaited arrival I am desperately reaching out for last minute help! Normally I am not a last minute kind of person, so our predicament is that much more anxiety provoking. We have managed to narrow our list down, but more or less by ignoring the need for a list with the hope that the ones on it will eventually feel right. The problem is they just don’t!!
So here is our top picks: Drew Marshall (after my husband Andrew Marshall (goes by Andy)), and
Marshall Scott (Marshall and Scott are both very prevelant family names, Scott is my Dad and Andy’s uncle was named Marshall Scott but went by Scott, Marshall is both Andy’s, his Dad’s, and maternal Granddad’s middle name).
Lastly, we have mutually but less seriously considered names like Baron, Ryan, Blake, and Logan. Some that I like but Andy does not are Ryder, Everett, and Carson. Our last name doesn’t seem to pose an issue with any as Williams. However, the problem seems to be the combination with our 1st son’s name: Luke Andrew. Although, on its own I like the short and brisk sound of Drew when said together as Luke and Drew, it is too close to Luke Andrew. Which is unavoidable, and something my ears have a hard time not hearing. I have asked others and they hear it too, Andy however doesn’t seem to and is holding on to Drew as his name of choice, although really I think he is flexible. Marshall however, I really like especially with its strong significance, my only concern is that it doesn’t fit well with Luke in terms of style and sound, and that Andy isn’t all that fond of it as a first name. And what about with a nickname like Mack? Scott as a first name is out because I think of my Dad.
Opinions on the sounds of these names and any other suggestions would be most greatly appreciated.
THANKS!

 
I do think “Luke and Drew” sounds somewhat like “Luke Andrew,” except that when I say the first one I put the emphasis on DREW, and when I say the second one I put the emphasis on AN, so to me they sound different enough to be okay—UNLESS you frequently call Luke “Luke Andrew.” If not, I’d say it’s fine.

I still prefer Marshall Scott, since Drew and Andrew are so similar and are both namesakes for the same person. BUT: if your husband isn’t crazy about Marshall as a first name (and I think Mack is too much of a reach as a nickname), AND if you don’t call your first son “Luke Andrew,” probably Drew Marshall is the better choice, and perhaps both boys would enjoy being named for their dad. And I agree with you that Luke and Drew is a slightly better sibling set than Luke and Marshall—although I think both are good.

Let’s have a poll over to the right: Drew Marshall, Marshall Scott, or “other” (if “other,” put the name you’d pick in the comments section). [Poll closed; see results below.]

Shea writes:

I have been reading your blog often to find help with names for my twin girls (due October 24). I definitely need some help. I have a 3 yr old named Luke Anderson (goes by Luke). I am a huge fan of last names first, but it seems that two girls with last names first is too much-so I will probably only let one girl have a last name first. We do not have great family names as options, and my husband does not want all three kids to begin with “L” (even though I love lots of girl “L” names like Laurel, Lyndie, Lainey, etc). I also want their first names to be what they go by, as I have hated being called by my first name even though I go by my middle name. Also, our last name is 2 syllables, starts with G and ends in -er. So we don’t want a first name ending in -er. Here are my name suggestions that I like, but am not at all sold on. I am very interested in them having first names that are easily understood, but not so common. Claire seems to be more common than I thought.

“Claire” Elisabeth (not a huge fan of Elisabeth, but need 3 syllables, husband doesn’t love it either)
and
“Ellis” Catherine (paired a boyish name with a very feminine name, not a huge fan of Catherine either)

Ellis is not your typical girl name, but I can see it working. I’ve tried it out on a couple of people hoping they wouldn’t think I was saying “Alice” and none of them did. Is Ellis too weird for a girl? She could go by Ellie, Elle, or just Ellis. I have always liked Elise, but we have known quite a few lately, so that is no longer an option. I feel like we need better selections of 3-syllable middle names too. Your help would be greatly appreciated.

I think Ellis with work fine, considering the popularity of names such as Ella. Another similar choice is Ellery. Oh, or Ellison.

Depending on how coordinated you want the names to be (I tend to want more coordination for fraternal twins, less for identical twins), a girl name starting in Em might be nice: Ellis and Emerin, Ellery and Emerson.

If you want less coordination, I like names that are not too feminine, because otherwise I feel like the femininity of the feminine name makes the name Ellis seem masculine:

Ellery and Adelyn
Ellery and Delaney (this gives you Laney without an L initial)
Ellery and Hollis (Ellie and Holly)
Ellis and Avery
Ellis and Darcy
Ellis and Jensen
Ellis and Madigan
Ellis and Macy
Ellis and Marin
Ellis and Rowan
Ellis and Shelby
Ellis and Teagan

Elisabeth is 4 syllables. Some 3-syllable possibilities:

Annika
Bethany
Calista
Carissa
Clarissa
Corinna
Elena
Fiona
Joanna
Josephine
Karenna
Kiara
Linnea
Lissandra
Marissa
Melina
Natalie
Sabrina
Samantha
Selena
Susanna

Well, I guess that list could go on and on: there are tons of names with 3 syllables, if 3 syllables is what you want. With some first names, I think 2-syllable or 4-syllable middle names sound good too.

Ellis Josephine is nice, or Ellis Melina. With Ellery I think I prefer one syllable: Ellery Jane, Ellery Rose, etc.—but I also like Ellery Sabrina.

I think my favorite set overall is Ellery Jane and Hollis Josephine: Ellie Jane and Holly Jo.

Katie writes:

My husband and I are due with our first October 13 – a girl.

– We want something unique, but not weird, or strange spellings.
– Nothing too common or trendy either.
– My husband’s deceased mother’s name was Ellen, so that is a big contender for a middle name.
– I am concerned that the “N” sounds in Ellen and Aronoff is too much “N” sound. Last name pronounced “Aaron – Off.”
– We definitely want something that gives us cute nickname options as well.

Some names we are considering but can’t exactly agree on are:

Karenna Ellen
Elka Wynn
Lucia (Lucy) Ellen
Amelia or Amelie Ellen

Names we considered but rejected are:

Hazel
Ginger
Georgia
Danica
Mila
Marion
Corinne
Colleen
India
Maya
Faye
Imala
Viola (I love this name but a very close neighbor has a daughter with this name)

Any help, suggestions on first (and middle if Ellen isn’t suitable) are greatly appreciated. We just can’t seem to get a name that we both love and adore.

Thank you!!

I love the name Karenna, but I think the sounds in it are too similar to the sounds in Aronoff.

I would suggest the name Elsa (because of Elke), but it seems like a lot of EL with Ellen.

Maybe Isla? Isla Aronoff, Isla Ellen Aronoff.

Or Anya: Anya Aronoff, Anya Ellen Aronoff. That adds even more N, though.

I love the name Liesl: Liesl Aronoff, Liesl Ellen Aronoff.

Bianca: Bianca Aronoff, Bianca Ellen Aronoff. The nickname Bee is so cute.

The name Amelia is getting more and more common, and I like the variation Amalia better anyway—but I worry that Amalia could look like Amelia with a typo. Still, it’s so pretty: Amalia Aronoff, Amalia Ellen Aronoff.

Camilla: Camilla Aronoff, Camilla Ellen Aronoff. Cammie, Milla, Milly.

I so wish someone would use Magnolia! Magnolia Aronoff, Magnolia Ellen Aronoff. Maggie, Nola, Lia.

Melina: Melina Aronoff, Melina Ellen Aronoff. Mel, Lee, Lina. Her initials would give you the nickname Mea.

Alissa writes:

I found your blog a few weeks ago when I was researching names, and I’m really enjoying it. We have two boys, Grant William (almost 4) and Andrew Dean (we call him Drew, and he’s almost 2). Now we’re due with a baby girl on October 18. I thought girls’ names would be so much easier because there are so many that I love, but that is exactly our problem! Instead of narrowing down our list, I keep adding more names to it! And even though there are so many good choices, nothing seems quite perfect for us.

Our last name is Sloan, so thankfully a lot of names go easily with it. I’d like to choose a classic name that everyone knows, but that isn’t super popular or trendy right now (I’d like to stay away from at least the top 30 or 40). And I like alliteration, which draws me to names starting with “S” or to first and middle names with the same initial (although I don’t want all three names to begin with “S”). Some of the girls’ names that I love (and the drawbacks I see in them…..this is where I need feedback!) are:

Lauren: I’ve always loved this but I’m wondering if it was too popular in the 90s, and now is mostly associated with college-aged girls?
Molly: Adorable, but does it age well?
Caroline: Will people mispronounce it as “Carolyn” all the time?
Madeline: I’m afraid of the “Maddie” nickname, and people assuming she is ANOTHER Madison
Sarah: I think this sounds great with our last name. But it is always popular, and part of me wants something a little more “exciting.”
Susanna(h): Another “S” name that I’ve always liked. I don’t know if I’m brave enough to use it, though!
Meredith: My husband has loved this one since I suggested it months ago. But is it a little dated?
Jenna: I adore this name, but I don’t want people to assume it’s short for Jennifer.

We love Claire as a middle name, and we could also use Madeline (or some of these others) as a middle name (for example, Sarah Madeline or Molly Madeline). I also like the combination of Caroline Claire (going back to alliteration again!). I also love Catherine Claire but it belongs to the daughter of one of my very close friends. So Catherine is probably out.

Do you have any suggestions or thoughts?? Additions to our list? Thanks so much in advance!

Oh, I had that SAME problem with girl names! I kept thinking of more, and More, and MORE!

From your list my favorite is Meredith. Meredith Molly is adorable, and lets you use Molly without the concern about it maybe not aging well.

If you like Lauren, maybe you’d like Laurel. Laurel Susanna Sloan, maybe.

I too love the sound of Sarah Sloane. AND, two traditional nicknames for Sarah are Sally and Sadie. Sally Sloan! Sadie Sloan! Can you stand the cuteness?? And I think fun nicknames make the name feel a little more exciting to use. Sarah Madeline Sloane is so pretty, and gives you Madeline without Maddie/Madison problems. Sarah Meredith has an appealing repeating “air” sound.

Sabrina Sloane would be pretty, too. Or Stella Sloane.

I THINK Jenna is safe from sounding like a Jennifer nickname, but I’ll be interested in input from the commenters on this. There’s also Brenna, which was on my own list. Brenna Meredith Sloane, or Brenna Madeline Sloan. (I’m avoiding Claire as a nickname here, because of the tendency for a first name ending in an -ah or -ee sound to combine with Claire to make “eclair”.)

Emily writes:

PLEASE HELP!!! I wrote to you back in July asking for help naming our second child. Now I need help saving our unused boy name from being stolen! My brother and sister in law are due with their first child in the middle of October and want to use our boy name. We decided on the name Porter West for a boy, but had a girl. (On a side note, we named our daughter Adelaide Marie. My mom suggested it a day or two before you posted my letter. We loved all the nickname possibilities and the classic, ambiguous European sound it has that goes so well with Evangeline. Now we have our little Addie and Evie.) I wouldn’t mind, except we are already trying to conceive baby number three and still love Porter. I feel like I should have the claim to it since I came up with it. SO, I need you to help me come up with another name for them!

They have shot down just about every name I have suggested. They either think it is too popular (Mason), too out there for their taste (Atticus), or too old man (August). They are really outdoorsy, and I think a name along that vein would work better for them, but they tend to like last names as first better. I have also suggested Jasper, Remington, Archer, Brody…All of which they liked, but still preferred Porter.

My husband and I have SUCH a hard time agreeing on names I can’t bare the thought of starting from scratch on name selecting for BOTH genders when we already have a boy name we both love. So, PLEASE help me find another name for them!

 
The first point I need to make will sound harsh, but I think we must start with it in order to re-center perspective before beginning to tackle the problem: The name isn’t yours and can’t be stolen. Names are multi-use items, and others have thought of the name before you, and you haven’t even used it yet.

With that out of the way: You have my full and heartfelt sympathy, because they should be CHOOSING not to use the name, knowing how you feel about it, knowing YOU thought of it for YOUR baby. And I, too, would feel the aspect of “stealing” if I were you. And of course an immediate-family “copy” is different than knowing the name has been used at other points by strangers. I think reasonable people can be expected to understand that it is wrong to use someone else’s baby name idea in whole or in part, when that person is still actively in the business of naming children. Sure, TECHNICALLY they can do it, but not without creating hard feelings—and surely they ought to want to avoid that.

On the other hand, remember I just said that names are multi-use: if you have a boy later, you too may use the name. It will be galling to have it look as if you are copying THEM, but everyone involved will know the real story. And here again I have a wave of sympathy for you, because I wouldn’t want to do that either.

At this point, it’s not your job or mine to come up with an alternate name that they will prefer: this presents the situation as if they have the perfect right to use the name UNLESS you/I do the work to come up with something better for them, when only the first part of that is true. Instead, I would use the approach of telling them frankly that you and your husband nearly tore your hair out thinking of the name, and you are still planning to use it for a future child; that you realize they have the perfect right to use the name, but that you are asking them please, please not to; that you think of that name already as “your baby”; that it will damage their relationship with you if they use it knowing you feel this way. Cry a little, maybe.

Or: let the name go. Maybe you will never have a boy, and then in retrospect an emotional confrontation/ultimatum will seem to have been a bad move, and it will be nice to have a nephew with a name you love so much. And many people find that the names they consider for one pregnancy are completely different than even the finalists they considered for another pregnancy—which, again, if you were to have a boy and NOT name him Porter West after a confrontation that resulted in your brother not using the name, could make an emotional confrontation/ultimatum seem to have been a bad move. The name may have already been spoiled for you at this point by this distressing situation, whether or not your brother uses it.

My primary reason for not sharing baby name candidates with friends and family is that I don’t want to hear negative remarks. But another good reason is to keep someone else from using the name, if you belong to a family/friends circle in which people would do that (in other circles, it would be more appropriate to put dibs on the name by revealing/claiming it early).

Kristin writes:

We are due Oct. 16th with our second child. Our daughter’s name is Charlotte Josephine Engel. I am a big fan of a formal name with a lot if nickname options. We often call our daughter Charlie Jo. If baby number two is a girl her name will be Eleanor Margaret. Margaret is my grandmother’s name. If this baby is a boy we will be saving this name for if/when we have another daughter.

Ok, so we are stumped on a boy’s names! We have several that we like, but nothing seems to be quite perfect. My husband has a boy naming tradition in his family where the father’s first name will become the son’s middle. We like this tradition, so the baby’s middle name will be Evan.

My favorite choice is Abraham Evan Engel. I think Avery would be a perfect nickname (a combo of the first and middle name just like we use with our daughter, but my husband doesn’t seem to love the name and thinks Avery is too girly these days…

My husband has always like Moses. But I hate Mo for a nn and we had friends recently name their baby this, so it doesn’t seem as fresh or special to us.

We both like the name Graham but it sounds like a nickname to me… of course I can’t think of a full name where Graham could be used as the nn AND it doesn’t lend itself to any of its own nicknames… It just doesn’t feel right to me, but I do really like the name…

Another one we both like is Elliot with the nickname Eli. Elliot is my grandmother’s maiden name, and I like that it has a family connection. I worry about the triple E sound Elliott Evan Engel, and it seems like this name is becoming more feminine too…

Recently I have been thinking about the names Lincoln (Linc, Colin), Malcolm (Mal – not too sure about this nn option), Sullivan, Robin/Rueben (Ben), and Oliver.

Other names we like or have considered but are totally out for a variety of reasons include Noah, Matthew, Samuel, and Zachary.

I can’t wait for your thoughts, I feel like we are going is circles and going nowhere!!

I think the trouble here is that you’d like to find a long name with lots of nicknames, but (1) this is more common for girl names than for boy names, and, more importantly, (2) your tastes run more toward boy names without nicknames (or with only one nickname, or with nicknames you dislike), so then the nicknames seem forced/unconnected (Colin for Lincoln, Avery for Abraham). AND, you’ve got a great double nickname for your daughter from using two nicknameful names, but your middle name for your son is not one with nicknames. Boy names that have double nicknames like Charlie Jo tend to be along the lines of Billy Bob or Bobby Joe—and I suspect that’s not your style in boy names.

I think there are two choices, then. One is to find some names that DO meet your specifications: first names with multiple nicknames you like, and perhaps a middle name with nickname options as well. The other is to give up on what you think you want and choose a name that you like despite it not meeting specifications.

One of the best boy names with nicknames is Alexander: Al, Alex, Xander, Sander, Lex. Another is Nicholas: Nick, Nicky, Nico, Cole. Another is Edward: Ed/Eddie, Ted/Teddy, Ned. Another is Robert: Rob/Robby, Bob/Bobby, Robin, Bert. As with girl names, the ones that tend to have a lot of nicknames are the ones that are OLD, from the days when more people shared names. A name such as Alexander Nicholas gives you Charlie Jo equivalents such as Xander Nick; Nicholas Robert would give you Nicky Bob.

My guess, though, is that as with many parents, your preferred style in boy names is different than your preferred style in girl names. And you WOULD like to use Evan as the middle name. So then it is a matter of changing what we’re looking for: not long names with lots of nickname options, but Names You Like, names that go with Evan as a middle name, names that have maybe one nickname option but a nickname option you LIKE.

I think of “Mose” as a more natural nickname for Moses—do you like Mose, or is it just as bad as Mo?

Eli (with its long E and long I) never seems right to me as a nickname for Elliot (short E, with I pronounced as long E), though I’ve seen it mentioned before. I think of it as a standalone name or as a nickname for Elias. Elias Evan Engel IS a lot of E, but I kind of like that! One issue is that Elliot/Elias are similar to Eleanor, if you later have another girl.

Similar to Elliot but with neither the used-for-girls problem nor the similar-to-Eleanor problem: Emmett. Emmett Evan Engel.

If you like Graham but it seems too nicknamey, I wonder if you’d like Bram as a nickname for Abraham? Or there’s the name Abram, although I find that a little difficult to say with Engel.

It seems like you like hip biblical names, in which case I suggest Ezra. Ezra Evan Engel: again, a lot of E, but I do like it.

Or Asher. I find it a little difficult to say with Engel, but not dealbreakingly so: Asher Evan Engel.

Or Judah: Judah Evan Engel, nickname Jude.

Levi Evan Engel, nickname Lee (which is also the initials).

Isaac Evan Engel, nickname Zac or Ike.