J. writes:

We do not have a due date because we’re in the adoption process, which is unpredictable. Our last name is an Irish O’____ name. We now have a Grady, Scarlett, and Vivien. If we adopt a girl, my wife wants Pepper. I’m okay with that, but may be more comfortable with it as a nickname (I’m trying to picture “Judge Pepper O’____”). I’m also worried about the Iron Man issue (Pepper Potts). Thus, we need help with girl P names for which Pepper could be a nickname (Penelope? Persephone?), and/or feedback on Pepper as the real first name, not nickname. Many thanks!

I think Penelope is the best name for a Pepper nickname because it fits best with your other names: Grady, Scarlett, Vivien, and Penelope. Philippa would be another good option. I don’t think of Iron Man at all. On its own, I think Pepper is not enough. What does everyone else think? Names, nicknames, on its own?

Laura writes:

My husband and I are currently in the waiting process of adopting our first child; which means we could have a baby anytime from tomorrow to a year from now…
We have a list of names we like for both boys and girls, and aren’t really looking to narrow down the list so much as to get feedback as to whether or not any of the names work well with our surname – Lee.
I find that our last name is difficult to work with as any name ending in -ly is out, and it can make a lot of names sound like adverbs.
The list of boy names we like are:
Elias
Elliot
Micah
Jude
Asher
Sebastian

The list of girl names we like are:
Tessa (But not Theresa or Contessa)
Maggie (But not Margaret)
Elizabeth (LOVE the nn Elle)
Ariana (AH-riana NOT AIR-iana)
Adela
Mia
Holly (I know about the -ly ending, but I still like it – am I over thinking the -ly ending thing?)

If there are any warnings or red flags that strike you on any of these names, input would be ever-so-much appreciated!

The only one that catches my attention is Asher Lee, which to me sounds to much like Ashley. What does everyone else think?

Are you a parent who has sent in a naming question? Has the baby been born and named, but you haven’t updated us yet? Do you know how much our hearts leap up to see those updates? LOTS, that’s how much! Update us! We’re dying to know if/how our hard work paid off!

Jannel writes:

We are due with our first child on November 17, 2010. We are not sure of the sex of the baby. Our last name is Hockey. My husbands middle name is Travis ( which I really like), and mine is Lillian Rose (after both my grandmas). Other possible middle names for girls might be Lynn (his mothers and sisters middle name) or Jean(my mothers middle name). Possibilites for Boys Daniel (my Dad’s name) or Laverne (his Dad’s name) I find that I like more unique names or old fashioned names such as Olivia and Jake and my husband like the VERY POPULAR modern names like Jasmine and Carson.

I have a baby girl name I have loved forever. I can’t picture it any other way, BUT my husband hates it! I think the first name is perfect and the middle name is my middle name and also my grandma’s. My mom also loves this name. I have told others and have gotten mixed feelings so let me know what you think.

Ireland/Irelynn Rose

The names I like:

Girls:
Olivia/Alivia
Kate
Leyton
Lachlan

Boys:
Jace
Jake
Rylan
Jaxon
Leyton
I could do his choice but spelt Karsen

Names he likes:

Girls:
Jasmine
Haylee
Kate

Boys:
Carsen
Rylan

Besides Irelynn, none of the above names just out at me. Maybe its because he never really Loves anything I suggest. Can you give me any suggestions?

Thanks! xx

I think we need to start by tidying up some terminology. The names Olivia and Jake are much more popular than Carson and Jasmine: Jacob has been the most popular boy name in the U.S. since 1999, and Olivia has been in the Top Ten for ten years and was #3 in 2009 (source: Social Security Administration). Looking at your lists, it looks to me as if you and your husband have very similar tastes: for the most part, you both like modern names.

The trouble with Irelynn is it’s ALMOST Ireland but NOT Ireland, which I suspect will lead to confusion. But the biggest trouble of all is that your husband hates it. I too have felt this despair (in my case over the name Millicent), but there is no way around it: if he hates it, it doesn’t matter if you love it and your mom loves it and all the commenters on this blog love it: it’s OUT.

Would he prefer the name Eidolyn/Idolynn? We know an Eidolyn who also goes by Eidie, and it’s very cute and we’ve found it fun to say.

You both have the name Kate on your lists. Would he agree to Kate Irelynn? The rhythm isn’t perfect, but it gives you the name you love in a position where he might hate it less. There are plenty of names I’d never consider in the first-name slot but would be willing to use in the middle-name slot—especially if there was something in it for me, like getting more say on the first name. Perhaps he would agree to it as a way to have the name-discussing done with. And you could then legitimately call her Irelynn sometimes, maybe as an affectionate nickname only you use.

One exercise I recommend for first-time namers is to imagine names for future siblings. This, right now, is the moment to decide if your family will be more likely to include girls with names like Lachlan or girls with names like Olivia: the route you choose now doesn’t HAVE to dictate your later choices, but it’s likely to at least be of influence.

If you decide to go for boyish names for girls, a name that comes to mind from your Layton and his Haylee is Hayden.

If you want more girlish names for girls, Leyton can become Layla, or Lila, or Leta, or Laney.

If he likes Jasmine, might he like Jessamyn? It has more of the rhythm of Irelynn.

Avelyn is another name with a similar sound to Irelynn.

I think Iris would be a beautiful choice. If you pair it with Lynn for his mother and sister, you have Iris Lynn—which you needn’t point out to him is very similar to Irelynn.

For boys I see you both have Rylan. Is that a name you can agree on? Rylan Travis, maybe?

Or I wonder if you would like Corbin?

Leyton and Jaxon make me think of Lennox.

Would you like Xavier? It’s an old name but recent usage makes it feel modern.

I think Kiefer is a great name for a boy. Kiefer Travis Hockey.

Jake and Jace make me think of Jude. Jude Travis Hockey.

Or would you want to use Travis as a first name? Travis Daniel Hockey—or if you want just one namesake name, maybe Travis Carson Hockey or Travis Rylan Hockey.

(I recommend not spelling Carson “Karson” for a boy: changing a C to a K is a common way to make androgynous name more feminine, as in Kamryn, Kori, Kodi, etc.)

I think my favorites are Travis Carson Hockey and Iris Lynn Hockey, with runners-up of Kiefer Travis Hockey and Kate Irelynn Hockey.

Leigh writes:

So I am expecting my 5th boy. His brothers’ names are:

Jack Bennett
Sam McQueen
Charlie Merrill
Luke Whitney

Our last name is two syllables and ends in an -en sound.

Each of the middle names are family names, but I kind of feel like I have exhausted the family names at this point. (Tonight I just went through them again and didn’t find much.) I would be okay not using a family name for the middle name, if I felt like it sounded great with the first name. I am also not really into naming the child a long name, only to shorten it. If I’m going to call them the nickname, I’d rather just name him the nickname.

My main problem is that I love 1 syllable names. And I think that usually a 1 syllable first name doesn’t go so well with a 1 syllable middle name. Or maybe it’s just the names that I like that don’t go together so well. I’m also not sure why I’m having such a hard time picking a name. But most things I think of just sound okay and not like THE name. I also would like to use a 2 syllable name for baby #5, just so Charlie isn’t the only 2 syllable name. But then again, if it was the perfect name, I’d be okay with 1 syllable.

For first names I like:

Henry and/or Hank
James
Max (some days I like it, some days I don’t)
Joe

I also love the names Jude and Grey, but I’m not sure if I’m brave enough to use them as first names. I could use one of them as a middle name if I found the perfect first name to go. We also could use the middle name Briggs (which is a family name) as a middle name, though I’m not sold on it and I don’t like it at all for a first name. I also really like the name Louie,

For a while I thought I could name this baby Max Elliott. But I don’t like it, for some reason. I’m not sure why. I think I don’t really love Elliott, or it doesn’t feel like it fits with my names. Other combinations I’ve thought of are: James Grey (even thought it is 2 1 syllable names, I think it sounds good), Henry Briggs, Henry Jude, Henry Grey.

So my questions for you are:

1. Do you have any suggestions of 2 or more syllable first names that fit my names?
2. Do you have any suggestions of middle names that sound great with the possible first names I listed?
3. What are your suggestions for some combinations?

Thanks for your consideration. And if you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them.

Two syllable names that seem to me to go well with your sons’ names:

Casey (repeats an initial)
Leo (repeats an initial)
Milo

I also like Ian, and in fact it would be my favorite of these, but it seems like most names ending in N would be only so-so with your surname.

But I prefer your idea of Henry. I also like all your one-syllable choices better than my short list of two-syllable choices. If Charlie is the middlest middle child he might like having something special about his name.

For a middle name I like names that sound like more family names. Henry Walker. James Shepard. Joe Sawyer. Milo Connery. Casey Lennox. James Maguire. Joe Campbell. James Ellis. Milo Redford. James Murphy. Joe Evans.

I think Henry is my favorite of your options—because despite just saying three seconds ago that it might be nice for Charlie’s name to be special, I also see the appeal of making things more even. I like Henry Briggs and also Henry Grey from your list, and Henry Shepard and Henry Ellis from mine. I also love your James Grey idea.

I think I’d favor Henry because it has two syllables and doesn’t repeat an initial, and Henry Briggs because I like the family name thing you’ve got going.

Terra writes:

A friend told me about your blog, and I have really enjoyed reading through the posts. I am having an extremely difficult time deciding on a name for our baby girl, due in a month! I am Terra, husband is Josh, surname is Patterson. Siblings name is Grady Owen (call him Gray). He is named after my husband’s grandfather (and my husband and his father also have middle name Owen). We both tend to like older, more traditional names. We don’t want anything too common, but also don’t like very odd names. I would like to use something from my side of the family this time since we don’t plan on having anymore children. Basically the only family names I have to work with are Hazel (great-grandmother), Jacqueline (grandmother), or Harper (mother’s maiden name). My favorite name of these options is Hazel, simply because I like the name.

Our finalist list:

Catherine Hazel (call her Cate) – This is probably my number one pick. Have always loved the name Cate (with a C), but my concerns are that it is too plain and common (especially with Gray). Also not sure if the “ate” sound and fact that it is one syllable bothers me after saying it over and over.

Lucy Sutton (call her Lucy) – Sutton is a family name of my husband’s that we love, but then I won’t be using anything from my family. My other concern is I’m not sure I see Lucy growing with her. Is it too little girl sounding?

Charlotte (not sure about middle name) – We both like Charlotte well enough. Worry about it becoming too popular, and it is also fairly new on our list so not sure if I’m in love with it yet.

Others that we both like: Eliza, Annabel, Carly.

Names that got ruled out either because a friend has used it or because it is a color (don’t want them both to have color names since we call our son Gray): Olive, Violet, Ruby, Pearl, Caroline. Love several of these but can’t get past the color thing…Didn’t realize when we named him that we would have this issue!

So, I need your help and feedback on our final list and other potentials. I keep coming back to Cate, but then I start to wonder if it just isn’t right since I can’t commit.

HELP! :)

Since you have always loved Catherine/Cate, I think this indecision is likely to be normal baby-naming jitters. Baby-naming is a big deal, and we only get so many babies to name—it’s normal to feel uncertain. I do wonder if you might call her Catie, and might call your son Grady? Then you’d have a rhyme, which would be fine if it didn’t bother you, and maybe even fun since it would be an optional, avoidable rhyme.

Lucy Sutton is super cute, but it does seem unfair to have tons of family names from your husband’s side (not to mention the surname) and none from yours. I like Lucy Harper. I think all the other Lucys will help to make Lucy seem like a grown-up name when they all ARE grown-ups (just as the name Jennifer now seems like a woman in her late 30s), but there’s also Lucille or Lucia or Luciana or Lucienne or Lucinda.

I like Charlotte with Harper (I like the repeating “ar” sound).