Faith writes:

I’d love to get some help with baby girl names. We have a son, Eliot Lee, and our baby girl will be born on the 27th (as in NEXT THURSDAY!) We had settled on two possibilities if the baby was a boy (Graham or Tobin) but are somewhat at a loss now that we know she’s a girl. Our last name is two syllables and starts with Jen–.

When we were first married my husband and I agreed that we both liked the nickname Winnie. My husband really liked the name Winsome but it seems to fanciful to me. We though Winifred was a better option to keep Winnie but now I find myself unsure if it’s too stuffy. It would solve a lot of problems if I was 100% sure of Winifred but I’m not. The problem is that I’m not 100% on any other name either and we have less than a week (eep!)

I find myself being drawn to 3-syllable names but it’s not a deal-breaker. In general I like classic but not super popular names that have the option of cute nicknames. My husband suggested naming her after me (Faith Margaret) which I think is sweet but don’t really want to do but I think Faith for a middle name might be nice.

The two names at the top of my list were Vivian and Naomi. My husband’s name starts with N and I kind of think it might be nice for her to have her own initial. But if we went with Naomi I’d like to find a middle name that starts with R so the two of them have the exact same initials as a way of honoring him.

Some other names we’ve discussed include:

Rosalie (husband thinks it’s too frou-frou)
Louisa (husband thinks it’s too frou-frou)
Evangeline (Too long and too matchy-matchy with Eliot)
Eliza (LOVE it but it feels too matchy-matchy with Eliot)
Alice
Pauline
Ada
Adeline
Matilda
Imogen (the alliteration with our last name seems too cute. Also, it seems like a lot of people here in the States would mispronounce it)
Mae

More possibilities for Winnie are Gwendolyn and Gwyneth and Guinevere. They do tend to produce something more like Gwinnie/Gwennie, but I think you could make it Winnie—or maybe you’d also like Gwinnie?

Or there’s Winter, which is not as fanciful as Winsome and not as formal as Winifred. Or my favorite might be Wynn/Wynne: it’s a good grown-up name that passes the “Would it work on a doctor or a lawyer?” test, but also goes easily to Wynnie. …No, my favorite is still Winifred, but my SECOND favorite is Wynne.

If you go with Naomi, I like the repeating O-sound of Rose: Eliot Lee and Naomi Rose. Naomi Rachel would be pretty, too, or Naomi Rae, or Naomi Rain, or Naomi Reese, or Naomi Robin. Or Rosalie might be too frilly for your husband as the first name, but maybe he’d like it better as a middle name: Naomi Rosalie. Or perhaps Naomi Faith to honor both father and mother?

Name update! Faith writes:

I wanted to drop you a line and update you on our baby girl!

We decided to name her Naomi Catherine with Catherine being in honor of my MIL. Objectively speaking I might not have picked the name Catherine since it seems a little long to follow Naomi but I have a wonderful MIL and love that our daughter shares this connection with her. We actually find that we call the baby Nomi most often which is what my three year-old christened her. :)

Thank you again for all of your input and for the input of your readers. I loved reading your feedback and all the comments!

Caroline writes:

My husband and I couldn’t be more opposite when it comes to baby naming… well, in lots of things actually but identifying our child is simply the most crucial issue at this moment. He offers names based on who he knows or what famous person shares the name (i.e. our in utero nickname for this child is “Pancho” named after a 1980’s race car driver!) regardless of the ridiculousness of the name. In fact, I think he likes the idea of naming the child after someone else and I tend to avoid that entirely. I want someone to say “what a great name” when they hear of our child’s arrival but not wince or scratch their heads wondering where in the heck it came from. And I do not want a name that has been used by someone we know (even if only an acquaintance) – it’s no fun.

Our different personalities and naming preferences aren’t the only consideration. This little one is due Feb. 28th and will be little sister or brother to my daughters Regan Olivia & Reece Elizabeth. The girls are from my prior marriage – and both names were/are perfect. Although more Regan’s have popped up, both names are relatively unique in our area and I loved them paired with a older, more traditional middle name.

So, the first issue is how to come up with a name we can both LOVE. Second issue is whether we stick with the R’s – which seems a bit weird to me because they won’t share last names, former marriage, etc. On the other hand maybe we should go with the theme so none of them associate themselves as being from a different family. Ugh – husband says I’m way overthinking it! It’s his first child so I want it to be something we share, not an R name he is forced into by default!

We do have a girl name and a boy name we both like… he seems sold, but I’ve not had my Ah-ha moment with the girl name. Our last name is Schmidt.

Weston Zachary – my idea, he came around to it and he is pretty set on it now. Middle name is a must as this is after my brother who passed away.

Carson/Carsyn Rose – pretty sure I threw it out there and he instantly liked. Rose is after his mother and we both agree this shall be the middle name of a girl. I’ve read your suggestions of using Rose for a first name, but I’m not keen on that mostly because I don’t want “Rosie” and the confusion will be too difficult as his mom is living and we see them often!

Names that have been eliminated for various reasons just to give you an idea of our tastes… Sheldon (yes, he seriously loves this despite the “sh, sh – iness” with our last name); Raylin (too close to Regan, but was always his favorite girl name). I like Charlotte (but again the sh-sh sound), Kendall (but know a family with a baby Kendall), Cameryn (for a girl, but this is my niece), Mason (simply too popular).

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!!

And:

About a month ago I emailed you about Baby Girl or Boy Schmidt and the drastically different ideas my husband and I have about baby naming…

Since then we’ve made progress, but I need some opinions.

First, we love the name Weston for a boy. BUT, I’m struggling with the middle name. I lost a younger brother 10 years ago and always knew if/when I had a boy his middle name would be Zachary after my brother. Husband is of course on board with this, but I also know that he always anticipated a baby boy with his middle name (which is his father’s name… wait for it… Ivo – it’s a name that appears to be native to his hometown!!). I think we should use TWO middle names, he thinks I’m ridiculous and says he’s totally agreeable to Zachary. But, I just can’t shake the feeling that this is his only child and he might regret not having a “namesake” (even if it’s shared). So, is giving a poor child 4 names to spit out unreasonable, unfair or inhumane?

Issue number two… I told you that my daughters from my first marriage are “R’s” and I was unsure of whether to continue this trend. Let’s just say that if it’s a boy I’m totally ok with Weston (or a non-R name), but my girls have said “Mommy, it has to be an R if its a girl, so she’s just like us!” How can do anything else, right? Right. Except there is only 1 R name that I’ve come across that I like/love. Renna. Before you judge, the middle name will be Rose (regardless of first name) so you have to say it all to be sure it passes muster… Renna Rose. My fear? That I’m predisposing this sweet little angel to a future in pole dancing. My friends who have been quizzed say I’m overthinking it and that’s not at all where their minds go… but once you say it…

And is it to rhymey with Regan & Reece? I really think the R will bond them and in families with stepchildren I think this is really important.

I’m due Feb. 28th and I saw you were at/near these due dates…. please help. This will be the 3rd and last for us and I had no idea how difficult it would be to name this sweet one!!

Thank you!

 
I can give personal-experience feedback on the two middle names issue, because my kids have two middle names and so do I. And this is my feedback: it’s not as much hassle as I’d expected. On forms where it matters (applications and registrations, for example), I try to make it very clear: writing the middle names one on top of the other on the middle name line, or even making brackets with labels “middle names” and “surname.” I chose ahead of time which name I wanted as the default (for me it’s the second of my two middle names, but for the kids its the first) if a form only let me use one name/initial, so paperwork is consistent. The hassles have been things like occasionally needing to correct a form where the information has been entered as if the second middle name is the first of two last names, or where the first middle name has been entered as if it’s a second first name, but I think that’s happened maybe four times total in the twelve years since we named our first child. AND, it hardly ever comes up: middle names show up mostly on forms and never in introductions, so he’d be Weston Schmidt when he’s saying it or writing it on his homework. It sounds to me like your reasons for using two middle names outweighs the small hassle, so I’m voting yea on that one.

About the R names. That IS pretty cute and compelling, to have the girls wanting her to have an R name. Do you think they’d settle for an R middle name? Renna Rose seems fine to me (I will probably suddenly realize what you’re alluding to and then feel very silly!), but it’s too bad Renna has the same number of letters as the other two, in addition to all three starting with Re-: I don’t think they sound so much alike, but they look alike. Regan, Reese, Renna. Well, I wrote that out to illustrate the problem, but actually that’s kind of cute. I don’t know WHAT I think! Let’s see what everyone ELSE thinks!

Name update! Caroline writes:

After all the concern about baby girl names, we needn’t have worried… We welcomed Weston Zachary Ivo Schmidt to our family on Feb. 23, 2011. He is absolutely perfect and honoring both of our families with his two middle names worked out perfectly as well! Although my husband was concerned about having mouthful of names, as soon as he held Weston he proudly called him by all FOUR names without hesitation! I’ve attached a pic of our little guy… thanks for the advice!!

F. writes:

I can’t believe that even though i am now 9 days overdue with our second son we still haven’t quite hit upon the right name for him and so i am writing to you for some help. Our first son is called Theodore Magnus, both names we absolutely love and luckily we knew very early on that we would call him by those names. Infact we would actually love to name our second son Magnus but feel that we can’t now given that we have already used it as Theodore’s middle name.

We are looking for boys name that work in both Engand and Norway as i am British and my husband is Norwegian ( and currently live in Norway) Many names don’t translate due to the different pronunciation of certain letters ( i.e. I becomes E in Norwegian and J becomes Y ) and the 3 different letters in the Norwegian language Å,Ø and Æ, sadly make names like Torbjørn unusable because in the Uk no one would know how to pronounce it, even though i love it.

So far we have Tobias, Jonathan ( despite the different pronunciation in Norwegian being Yonathan), Ruben, Albert, Sebastian and Jacob on our list but we just can’t seem to decide on any one of them. My son seems to think the new baby will be called Jonathan and i think Ruben goes well as a second name….but we would love any suggestions that you have to help us make a decision.

My husband has just suggested Sebastian Aurelius but i feel that it is a bit much especially as we have a double barreled surname! What do you think?

Name update! F. writes:

We finally decided to call our baby Sebastian Tobias…phew, thank you for all your help.

Melanie writes:

Help! My husband and I are expecting our first baby, gender unknown, at the end of February (Feb. 27). Our last name sounds like Luke but starts with a D instead of an L. We are set if this baby is a boy, but I just KNOW that it is a girl and in that area we are in trouble!

I really like classic, “pretty” girls’ names that aren’t TOO popular. Of course, the name I have loved since I was a child is Emily, which has been #1 or #2 on the SSA site for ten years! I still like that name, but it just feels so “used” to me that I am not sure I can use it. (And I don’t think it really works as a middle name, but I would definitely consider it for that slot). Another name I love is Elizabeth, but my husband dislikes this name (he says he would consider it for a middle name, but not a first).

Some other names we have discussed:
Penelope – this name has been slightly soured for me by people’s reactions. We aren’t telling anyone our name choices, but someone mentioned this concidentally and called it a “weird” name. I like the nickname Penny but husband doesn’t. Really loved this name before I was pregnant, but with the combo of the “weird” comment and husband’s dislike of Penny, I’m less enthusiastic.
Elinor – Husband’s grandmother’s name. I LOVE this one too, he won’t use it as a first name, but willing to use it as a middle.
Grace – Husband’s grandmother’s middle name. I know this is popular as a middle name, but is it used a lot as a first name? I love the nickname Gracie and I think Grace is so pretty. One problem – Husband’s sister had a baby a year ago and her middle name is Grace. His cousin also had a girl a year ago, and ALSO has the middle name Grace. (All after the same grandmother). If it was just the cousin, I wouldn’t mind, but my SIL and BIL seem to call their baby by the first and middle name fairly frequently. It’s not like there would be confusion, necessarily, but I am worried about accusations of “copying” SIL.

It seems like we have thought of and thrown out a million other names. As you can see, we are going around in circles. At this point, none of these names really feel like the baby’s name to me, and definitely not to my husband, who is a classic vetoer. I am hoping you can suggest some names that I haven’t thought of. I am really feeling sad that I haven’t hit upon “the” name yet – I love baby names and have been thinking about them forever (long before I was pregnant), so I can’t believe that I am 8 weeks out with no idea what this baby will be named!!

Help!!

 
The Emily situation is both better and worse than you think. Worse because it was #1 for twelve years in a row, from 1996 until 2007. Better because in 2008 it was #3, and in 2009 it was #6. Also better because in terms of percentages of baby girls being given the name, there’s been a very significant drop, from a high of 1.36% in 1999, to 0.76% in 2009—that’s getting close to being cut in half. And also better because despite its long popularity it still doesn’t feel used-up to me. Used, sure, but that’s true of all the traditional names and even the ones people think of as unique. Used UP, no.

However, if it DOES feel used-up to you, there are lots of possibilities that are a little less common. Emeline, for example, is similar to Emily but is surprisingly unusual. Or there’s Emilia, Emlyn, Emryn, Emery, or Emerson. My favorite is Emeline because I think it captures more of the style of Emily. There’s also Adeline and Amelia.

Since you also like Elizabeth, I recommend Eliza.

Grace is a popular first name: it was the 17th most popular girl name in the U.S. in 2009. The Social Security baby name site is great for this: not only can you see a name’s current popularity, you can see if it’s falling or rising—and how rapidly. Grace, for example, looks like it has settled: after a rise, it’s been floating in the space between #10 and #21 for a decade. This makes it look to me as if it’s not going to get super-super-popular, but is instead going to stay nicely popular. However, if your husband’s grandmother has already been honored twice via the use of her middle name, perhaps there are other family members who could be honored? It seems so unfair that the family members with currently-popular names get such a disproportionate amount of honoring-via-namesakes.

Penelope is a name that seems highly unusual and yet I don’t think it will seem that way for much longer. Look at this:

(screenshot from SSA.gov)

An underlined lowercase A means the name was not in the Top 1000 that year. I cut it off at 1994, but those underlined lowercase As go back to 1974. Penelope was nowhere in sight, and now look at it go: up almost 700 rank places in 9 years, and I’m eager to see where it will be when the 2010 statistics come out in May. It’s good news for people like me, who prefer to use more common/familiar names: Penelope would have been out of the question for me back when my first child was born in 1999, but if I were to have another child now, I’d feel able to use it. (And in fact, when I was expecting in 2007, it was one of our frontrunners until we found out we were having a boy.) If your husband doesn’t like like the nickname Penny, maybe he’d like Nellie or Pip.

It’s even more unusual than Penelope, but I wonder if you’d like the name Felicity? It has the same rhythm as Penelope, but more of the early-American style of Emily. It’s pretty and feminine and underused, and it would work with any of your possible middle names (though because I prefer not to spell anything with initials, I’d avoid FED—perhaps this is a good moment to go through your family tree looking for other women you love whose names would be good middle-name candidates).

More possibilities:

Annabel
Cecily
Clara
Clarissa
Cora
Eva
Fiona
Genevieve
Lia
Lillian
Liviana
Phoebe
Violet

Name update! Melanie writes:

Baby name update for you! Our baby GIRL was born March 2. We decided to name her Emily Elizabeth, thanks to your reassuring comments about the popularity, and all the commenters who said that Emily was a great, classic name. In particular, one commenter mentioned how special Emily would feel when I told her I had loved her name all my life, and when I read that I started crying. That’s when I knew she had to be Emily!! Elizabeth, her middle name, is after my grandmother. Thanks for all your help!!!
Melanie

P.S. I attached a photo too! I love the photo updates myself, so I had to include one. :)

Jenna writes:

My husband and I are expecting our 2nd daughter February 2011. We can NOT agree on a name…or any names really. Our 2 year old daughter is named Avery Caelyn. We heard Avery on a baby show about half way through the pregnancy & agreed. Her middle name came in the hospital, 3 days after she was born. I literally opened a name book and pointed until he said “Yeah, that one.”
Our naming strategy is pretty similar to everyone else’s: I list them, he has veto power. And he remembers names he already said no to, I’ve tried it. I would love to use a family name- he said no. We tend to pick more modern girl names- boy/unisex names, surnames & places- but we are not opposed to girly names. I heard once that if you name a girl a unisex name, they will be more successful in life because people tend to give credit/praise/expectations/opportunities to male names- even with no other point of reference. If we were having a boy though, he was going to have a more traditional, masculine name- Jon, Cason, Elliot [the only family name I was able to keep on the list] or Alec, with the middle name Richard- there are 9 Richards in our family from our daughters to our grandparents- both sides big popular name. We are open to suggestions and yays or nays for our ((short)) list. We want it to work well with Avery without being matchy. I like same 1st initial, but it’s not high priority. And I like same syllables, also not high priority. It cannot end in a T- or Tr- sound because of our last name. Also, our last name is one that you do not hear often…it has an ‘x’ in the middle of it- and some people say it sounds like pretzel. My name is Jenna & my husband’s is Richard- soo her name cannot be similar to these.

Our list:
Jaycee/Jacy- “Ok” according to him
Kylee- My current favorite- though it changes daily.
Macy- Like Jacy
Graceson- Strong second to my favorite
Kaylee/ie/eigh- Almost too popular
Ashtyn- His absolute favorite- he calls her this now.
Morgan- I have cousin with this name, but i like it anyhow.

Vetoed names/ Names we cannot use (acquaintances, cousins)
Leah
Hannah
Emerson
Carly
Amaya
Londyn
Ellison/Elliot
Jensen
Taylor
Any flower/spice/herb names.
Any color names.
Any “outdoorsy” names.
Most nouns.
Any emotion or inspirational word (faith, hope, grace)

Our biggest challenge: I do not LOVE any names that we have heard. We love our daughter’s name, Avery Caelyn. He picks one and can “go with it” I keep looking and reading. None of them have been it. And no, We have not even considered talking middle names yet.
Please help!!

And:

I need to amend my list.
We need to add Logan to it. I love it. I just can’t seem to find a middle name.
He’s said “It’s one we agree on. Ok”

And:

Ok…I’m obsessed this is my third email to you. Sorry.
Our new list-
Logan
Gracen
Erin

My newest dilemma- Is Erin too different from Avery?

Thanks again!

And:

Ok Swistle. THIS is my last email…I have 8 weeks left..we’ll see right?
I guess I’m just trying to get the best answers?opinions? from you and your readers.
Last time I added Erin to the list (we love it!) only, he wants to spell it Aaryn or Arynn. Erin is pronounced “EHrin” not “AIRin” he says. The A(s) will give us the pronouciation we want; AIRin.
I like it because it gives both girls A-names and makes it more masculine (like Avery).

Thoughts?

Also, her middle name will be Leigh (unless her name ends in an -ee sound). My husband’s middle name is Lee and since this will be our last* and he didn’t get his boy** I thought he should have a big part of her name.
*ask me again in 3 years.
**see *.

I’d say Erin is okay with Avery but not great. Erin was in the Top 100 for girls from 1971 until 2004 (source: Social Security Administration). Avery has been in the Top 100 for girls since 2003, and until the late 1990s was used more often for boys. So they’re both boyish girl names, but Erin is now a common Mom Name, while Avery is next-generation (jumping into the Top 100 the year before Erin dropped out) and single-spelling androgynous (though getting more Girl every year).

This could be a regional thing, but where I live the name Erin is pronounced like AIR-rin, to rhyme with Karen. If you want AIR-rin you can spell it Erin: at worst, there are two ways to pronounce it. However, in your case I think your idea of using Arynn improves the fit: it makes the name more modern, and it gives you the two A-names you were hoping for. Furthermore, both names would have the same number of letters, and three of those letters would be the same. The Arynn spelling would give you some small hassle, but not as much, I think, as Aaryn, and not more than Gracen/Gracyn. And Arynn Leigh works very nicely. My only concern, and maybe this is nothing to worry about, is that both alternate spellings make me think of Aryan, a very unpleasant association but maybe not one that would come to most people’s minds.

Gracen/Gracyn is also a very good match: like Avery, it’s used for boys (usually spelled Grayson or Greyson) and it’s a recently popular name (more recent than Avery, but it’s “this generation” as opposed to “last generation”). And again, Gracyn Leigh is a nice fit.

To me, the name Logan still sounds utterly Boy—but I see it was used for about 700 girl babies last year along with over 14,000 boys. (It’s falling for girls and rising for boys.) If you do use it, I suggest using a middle name that is used exclusively for girls: Logan Grace or Logan Rose or Logan Joy. Oops, all three of those are on the veto list (for being flowers/inspirational). Maybe Logan Louise or Logan Nicole or Logan Simone or Logan Leeanne (this also gives you Lee) or Logan Elise or Logan Celeste.

Name update! Jenna writes:

Our 2nd daughter came 5 days late! She didn’t have a name for a few days and my entire list went out the window!! My husband stuck with Aerin, but I had a whole new list of names come to me when I met her! Wren was her name and I knew it within an hour of her birth but he said no…our compromise? I saw it on a list you did for one of your other readers- Emryn. Emryn Leigh was born on 2/20. Big sister Avery is ecstatic!Thanks for everyones help!!!! Still love reading your baby name blog Swistle!!!!

Amy writes:

I am pregnant with fraternal twin girls that are due in late February, although they might come earlier as apparently twins can do all kinds of unexpected things. Our last name is phonetically pronounced Bow-Lee-Ew and its background is French although neither of us speaks French.

My husband and I initially thought that naming twins would be easier because we get two kicks at the can so to speak. However, it has turned out to be much more difficult than we anticipated – at least for girls. Early on in the pregnancy, we mutually agreed with no tears, anger or resentment that if they were boys, the twins would be named Thomas and Grant. We love both names equally and would have had a difficult time picking one over the other if we were to have ended up with one girl and one boy. We like that these names compliment one another while retaining their individuality.

As you can see, we ended up on the other end of the spectrum without even one name that we can mutually agree upon. To make matters worse, we really want to find names that we feel as strongly about as Grant and Thomas. We want to love the names equally and feel that they are “right”. We really don’t want to pick one name that we love and another that fits with the name that we love.

To make matters worse, it appears that we have different naming styles when it comes to girls. I consider my naming style to be classic (and unfortunately I seem to like the popular names). My husband on the other hand seems to like names that were popular in the 80s and early 90s. I have struggled hard to try to merge the two styles and the only consistency that I can come up with is that my husband seems to like shorter names ending in ah or eeee and there are some classic names that can work with this. Unfortunately, I really prefer formal names that can be shortened to cuter nicknames. It is very important to me that the girls have names that would suit them as professionals, although I would love it if they had cutesy variations that they could use as children.

This brings us to the twin considerations. I really dislike rhyming names for twins. I would prefer the names to be similar lengths/syllables although choosing two different three syllable names (as an example) is not necessary. If one girl’s name can be shortened into a nickname, I feel that it is fairly important that the second name have a nickname as well. I would prefer that the names not begin with the same first letter although this would be less applicable if the names are otherwise dissimilar.

Finally (and this seems to be the biggest stumbling block of all) is the popularity factor. We have agreed on names that we “could” use. However, the names are both very very very popular right now. I don’t so much care about the girls knowing other girls with the same names, but what I would like to avoid is the names “dating” the girls. For example, the name Jennifer dates to the 1970s to me and the name Linda to the 1950s. I guess what I am saying is that I would really prefer the names to be timeless and this is perhaps the most important criterion of all to me.

Based on the above, I am sure that you have come to the conclusion that I am anal-retentive and obsessive about this topic (both true) and for that I apologize.

With that disclaimer out of the way, the names that my husband and I agree would work are Emily and Sophie.

Other names on my list that my husband dislikes because he calls them “old lady names” are: Catherine (Cate), Josephine (Josie), Eleanor (Nora), Clara and Eliza. Other names that he has vetoed for celebrity connections or other unknown reasons include Ellery, Elodie, Calista (Callie), Isla, Rachel, Maya and Tessa. Oh, he also vetoed Violet as well which made me cry. Names that I love, but have vetoed myself due to the trendy factor are Charlotte and Abigail.

Names on his list that I have vetoed include Cleo, Justine, Maureen, Bailey, Kayla, Bree and Dawn. I do like his suggestion of Chloe, but dislike that it is commonly used as a dog’s name and is so popular where we live.

The name Norah is appealing to both of us although I do wish that it had a nickname variant. My husband is also coming around to my suggestion of Hillary although I don’t want him to choose it just to avoid talking about the issue any further. We are also both ok with Tabitha and Meredith. Sabrina is also on the mutual list, but I don’t love it and we do know of a baby who has the first name Sabrina and shares our last name.

Names we would be uncomfortable using due to friend/family/pet connections include Lily, Audrey, Mia, Rose and Olivia.

Some questions for you and your readers …

1. Are Emily and Sophie “trendy” popular names that will someday date the girls to the 2010s or are they classics that are just more popular for the time being?

2. Are there any alternatives to Emily and Sophie that are classic but less popular? (Note – I have a hunch that my husband dislikes names like Ellery and Elodie because he has never heard of them before and thus thinks they are weird.)

3. Do Norah and Hillary work together? Are there any other names that would work with Norah or Hillary? Do any of the other names that remain on our mutual lists work with Norah or Hillary?

4. Are there other names that are like Norah and Hillary (e.g. somewhat classic, but not overwhelmingly popular)?

Suggestions are truly welcome as I want these girls to come into the world with names that we feel as great about as Thomas and Grant. Thank you for reading what is probably the longest inquiry you have received thus far.

I agree: Jennifer sounds like the ’70s, Linda sounds like the ’50s. But here’s where I disagree: I don’t think you should try to avoid that. Certainly, avoid trendiness spikes if possible (though it’s not always possible), but names naturally rise and fall over the generations and I think it’s a doomed goal to find a name that doesn’t. Even a name like Elizabeth, which I consider the epitome of a timeless name, has nicknames that follow generational trends: Betty and Bess and Betsy, Liz and Beth, Libby—and now Ellie, which I resist because it’s not a traditional nickname for Elizabeth but which my friend Mairzy says I must try to come to terms with because people are doing it anyway.

(As an aside, the name Linda was in the Top 100 from 1936 until 1978, and in the Top 10 from 1940 to 1965. And Jennifer was in the Top 100 from 1956 until 2008, and in the Top 10 from 1966 until 1991. ((Source: Social Security Administration.)) So Linda is actually more like a 1940s, 1950s, and 1960s name, and Jennifer is more like a 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s name. I’m not sure how this is relevant, except to say that time-stamping is complicated.)

Furthermore, have you ever read women’s fashion magazines? They’re constantly assuring us that we can buy a “timeless” blazer or a “timeless” skirt or “timeless” accessories that will be WELL WORTH the high price tag because we’ll be able to wear them ALWAYS. And then the next year, some feature that seemed timeless, when it was in style, reveals itself to be not in fact timeless at all. It is the same with names. Right now people are saying they like “timeless” names—but these are names that one generation ago would have been kah-razy out of place among the Nicoles, Melissas and Michelles, and two generations ago even more out of place among the Barbaras and Deborahs and Susans. Names generally feel timeless to us when they come back into style after we no longer remember the generation that had them; it’s not that they never belonged to a generation. And when a name is in style, as when a certain cut of blazer is in style, it’s hard to believe it ever wasn’t, or won’t be.

So! Does it work if I tell you I release you from that requirement you’re trying to meet? We don’t know how the current crop of baby names will be remembered, or how firmly they will be bound to this generation of babies. Of course we CAN cut out names that are likely to be trendy, as long as we keep the word “trendy” (names like Madison, Kaylee, Cadence) separate from the words “popular” or “common” (names like Elizabeth, Emily, Sarah, Anna). And Emily, in the Top 100 since 1973 and in the Top 10 for nearly two decades so far (source: Social Security Administration), might be even trickier to time-stamp than Jennifer and Linda.

Which leads me to my second point, which is that there is no shame in liking common names, and in fact “common names” are generally a mix of the trendy names you’d like to avoid and the timeless names you’re looking for. I don’t think you should force yourself away from names you love just because they are more popular than you’d prefer—and anyway, you’re cutting out names because of commonness when some of them are LESS common than names you’re keeping. So can I also release you from that—from the obligation to find a name that isn’t common, just because uncommon seems like it must be “better” somehow? If I could make one rule for baby-namers, it would be “Don’t arbitrarily limit your options.” There is no moral or ethical reason not to use Emily and Sophie if you love those names, and making up reasons you can’t use them (“People might be able to guess the generation in which she was born!” and “Too many other people think it’s a great name!”) is going to leave you panicky and without any name candidates.

But to clarify: are you saying you both love and agree on Emily and Sophie, and it’s only the popularity/time-stamping that bothers you? Or are you saying those are “fine” with both of you, and more like fallback choices? If the former, my work is done after I convince you not to make arbitrary and unnecessary rules (I have duct tape if I need it). If the latter, we need to keep looking.

[This second email came in when I was at this point:] Amy writes:

I just wanted to give you an update as I am now home from work and going a bit out of my mind. It seems that my husband and I have decided that Emily and Sophie are too popular though they are still on the shortlist.

We are also leaning towards Norah being one of the names. So, we are in the position that I really didn’t want to be in which is loving one name and finding another to go with it. I still like the name Hillary but my husband is meh on it. He feels it is a name for a snobby girl. Fresh Prince of Belair anyone? In my class the snobs were Kellys and Karens so I don’t get the snob reference, but even though he will let me use the name (he says it doesn’t matter to him so much), but I really do want him to love the name.

What I like about Hillary is that it is strong yet feminine and also uncommon but recognizable. So another name that meets those characteristics would be great.

We are still tossing around the names Meredith, Tabitha and a few others from our list, but I am still searching for the name for Baby B as I have pretty much decided that Baby A will be Norah if we go with that.

Thanks in advance.

Need I emphasize again what a mistake I think it is to throw out a name due to popularity alone? But if that’s the task at hand, I will see what I can do. I will warn you that Norah, Nora, and Eleanor-called-Nora are all climbing fast in popularity: it’s possible you’re taking the same problem but just changing the time-stamp. (I feel so conflicted, because on one hand I want to keep telling you how little I think this matters, and on the other hand if it matters to you ANYWAY I want to help you find what YOU want!)

There is nothing wrong with first choosing one name we love, and then choosing a name that goes with it: that’s exactly what people do when they have their children one at a time instead of in pairs.

I think Norah and Meredith are beautiful together, or Eleanor and Meredith (same number of syllables) called Nora and Merrie or Ellie and Merrie.

I also like Hillary and Meredith.

Nora and Eliza would also be a very nice pairing.

I like the similar rhythms of Eleanor and Imogen.

Another possibility is to name the girls Eleanor and Margaret (SWOON) and call them Nora and Greta, and they’d also have Ellie and Maggie if they preferred.

Or Eleanor and Josephine (same number of syllables), but call them Nora and Josie. (I am kind of ignoring your husband’s “old lady names” declaration, since this only shows that he is out of touch with the baby names situation, and because he might like the names better if he likes the nicknames.)

If he likes Cleo and Chloe, it seems like Clara isn’t far off—but Nora and Clara might be too similar. Sophie and Clara would be pretty.

For a moment I thought Norah and Ellen would be pretty, but then I wondered if it would sound as if they’d split the name Eleanor between them.

A more current version of Maureen would be Maura. Not with Norah, but maybe with another of the candidates. Maura and Ellen? Maura and Rowan? Maura and Emlyn? Maura and Carys?

Pulling names from nowhere now: Celeste and Noelle. Philippa and Imogen. Fiona and Madigan. Holly and Laurel. Marin and Bridget. Annabel and Emeline. Phoebe and Stella. Felicity and Genevieve. Simone and Corrine. Cecily and Beatrix.

Name update! Amy writes:

After much discussion, my husband and I decided on the name Nor.ah without much arguing. Deciding on the second name was much harder. Although we both love the name Emily (perhaps even more than the names we eventually chose), it just didn’t go with any of the other names that we like. It turned out that this was the reason for my hesitation about using the name and not its popularity. The name Gra.ce had been suggested to me by several people including swistle readers, my mother and my husband. Eventually, it grew on me and I now couldn’t imagine our Baby B having any other name. I was worried to read that another swistle twin mom had used Gra.ce has her second twin name and thought that maybe it was the go to name for second twin girls. However, I have decided to let popularity issues go and have no regrets about our baby girls Nor.ah and Gra.ce.

Tiffany writes:

I have been following your blog ever since I found out I was pregnant back in July. I am due Feb. 10th with my first child and it’s a girl. My husband and I seem to have completely opposite tastes in girl names. I have been to a ton of baby name websites and have purchased 5 different baby name books in search of a name that fits for us. I am willing to compromise a little with him but the problem is that it has been like pulling teeth to get him to come up with any names he likes. However, most of the names I throw out, he has almost immediately rejected. I am hoping you and your readers can come up with some other name options for us!

Here is a little background information. We both had common names growing up and are looking for something a little more unique. I am against any top 10 name. My name (Tiffany) seems to be one of those classified as an 80s name that went out of style pretty quickly so I am trying to avoid current names that will have a similar fate. Our surname is very Italian, Barone. My favorite names have been generally been of Italian/Latin origin; very feminine and flowy. The few names he has come up with have been more American and less girly. If we were having a Boy we seemed to agree that it would/will be Roman Joseph Barone (middle name in his honor), so we want something that will sound ok with Roman. The other boy name we both like: Dominic.

Names on my list:
Luciana (This is the only name we can semi-agree on, both not sold. I am scared that there will be too many Lucys and that it will be almost impossible to avoid as a nn)
Madalena (not thrilled about the nickname Maddie)
Livia (nickname Livie, but husband says no because he thinks it’s looks like we forgot the O)
Sofia (too popular)
Gianna (We both like, but I don’t like the nn Gia)
Lydia (I love but I don’t know if it will become too popular, he seems ok with)

Names that I like but husband vetoed: Serena, Noelle, Gemma, Liviana

My Husbands list:
Juniper (his number one choice, when we have thrown it around to friends and family they have been very against this name. I’m not sure if it is too out there for us and I hate the nn June and I also think it would not match any future sibling names including Roman)
Audrey (just ok to me)
Avery ( I dislike)
Clara ( I am ok with but a little old sounding/too popular)
Meryl (I vetoed)
She-Ra ( He better have been joking!!)

Names that are out because of close friends/relatives’ baby names:
Chloe, Sophia, Addison, Cecily, Holiday, Charlotte, Ella, Madalyn, Makayla, Hailey, Alaya, Hope, Leah, Zoe, Isabella, Tabitha

Additional info: We aren’t too concerned about middle names. We aren’t big on traditions/naming after people. We don’t want a B name.

We are excited for any input/help! Thank you!

Oh, man. This sounds like Paul. I had to say to him things like, “I’m about to suggest a girl name I really like, and I want you to NOT react immediately: just THINK about it for awhile first.” I had…moderate success with that.

If you have The Baby Name Wizard, I suggest you and your husband individually go through the categories in the back and find the categories you each like most. Then, each of you go through the other one’s sections and see if you find anything you like.

You could also take each name from his list and see if there’s a fancier version. Like Clara: would he go for Clarissa? would you? Or Claudia? Or Cleo? Or Celeste? I realize we’re getting farther from Clara with every step, but this can be a good way to brainstorm names. Meryl might lead you to Marissa or Minerva.

If you like Livia but he objects to it as a headless Olivia, it’s really too bad he rejects Liviana. I think that extra syllable distances it from Olivia, and you’d still have the nickname Livvie.

If he likes Juniper and you like Madalena, I wonder if you’d both like Magnolia?

Madalena with no Maddy: Marilena.

Gianna with no Gia: Gigi. I don’t think I would have gone naturally to Gia, though, anyway. Are you thinking of using the more Italian pronunciation of something like JON-nah, or the more U.S. pronunciation gee-AH-nah? Gianna is rising pretty rapidly, though, if you’re trying to avoid common names. I wonder if you’d like Imogen?

I know of a baby girl named Silvia, nickname Silvie, and it’s a surprisingly fresh and adorable name. I think removing that Y is what transforms it from Old Broad to Little Sweetie, and emphasizes the pretty silver/silvery sound of it.

Lorelei, maybe?

I mentioned Minerva in passing, above, but I really like that one. Minerva Barone, with the nickname Minnie if you want it. I have three associations with that name. One I have only from commenters on this blog, who have told me that Minerva is the name of a birth control pill. I worked in a PHARMACY and still didn’t make that association with the name—and children certainly wouldn’t know about it. The second association is stronger: Professor Minerva McGonagall from the Harry Potter books. She is an excellent association for me: strong and smart and good. The final association I have is with the Roman goddess of wisdom—and since she’s associated with the owl, I sense a CUTE NURSERY THEME. (For a second I thought, “Oh no! Roman goddess and they like the name Roman! Conflict!” Hee! I think I need one more cup of coffee. Or possibly one fewer cups.)

Name update! Tiffany writes:

Hello again! I wanted to update everyone that our little girl was born this month and we luckily finally agreed on a name! Right when we saw her we knew she was a Luciana. The full name we went with was Luciana Juniper Barone. Since the first name was my original suggestion, DH got to pick his favorite name for her middle name. Her nickname will be Lucy and DH will call her Junebug. Thanks again for all the help and suggestions. Your blog and followers are great!