Kenya writes:

Please Help! I’m due with my second child on March 10th. My husband and I can’t agree on a name. My son’s name is Troy Matthew, which we love because it’s not too common but not weird either. Our last name is pronounced ” Brooke-e”. I have issues with highly unusual names because my first name is Kenya. I had to pronounce and spell it my entire life, so I want to give my children simple names, but not too common like Jennifer, Jessica, Nicole, etc…
I love love Nora, It’s my great grandmothers name. It’s not used too much, easy to pronounce but my husband hates it.

Names I love but my husband hates:
Nora (hubs just thinks it’s ugly)
Jada ( hubs thinks it sounds like a stripper name)
Jade

Names my husband likes and I can deal with but don’t love:
Jadyn (it kinda sounds like a boy name and is a little rare)
Kinsley (too cute-sy)
Savannah (it’s long and a city I’ve never even been to)

Maybe I could squeeze Nora in as a middle name. I don’t want to call my child by their middle name. It doesn’t matter if it goes with Troy or not. I tend to like short, simple names! Thank You!!

You guys are so close on Jada/Jade and Jadyn, it seems like there should be some common ground there. I wonder if taking off the J and using Ada would strip it (see what I did there?) of the negative connotations for him. Is Ava too popular? Or Jane is almost like Jade in sound, but with totally different connotations. Or Gia? Or Kate?

Anna could be pitched to your husband as the shorter, simpler, non-place-name version of Savannah.

More short and simple names (avoiding -ee/-y endings because of the matching ending of the surname):

Alice
Clara
Cora
Eliza
Elsa
Eva
Eve
Faith
Greta
Iris
Kira
Kyla
Laura
Lia
Lila
Mia
Nina
Rose
Ruth
Tessa

Sabrina writes:

Hello! We need help!

My husband and I are looking for girl names that go with not only a hyphenated last name but we don’t want them to sound like our other kid’s names. (We are a blended family and this is our first child together.)

Current kids names:

Jordan Taylor
Corbin Michael
Alyssa Rose

Last name for future child: Evans-Shives

Names we like so far:

Isla (but not sure about the spelling because of other people mispronouncing – this is hubby’s concern, mine not so much. In fact I am in love with this name but trying desperately to agree on one we both love.)
Ilah (different spelling)
Harlow
Isolde (I like, hubby not so much)
Veronica, maybe Isla Veronica?
Quinlan
Phoebe
I also like Gia

Hubby suggested Delaney and Victoria but I suggested Veronica instead. We were trying to avoid names that begin with A, C or J.

Also was trying to incorporate our mothers middle names, Emma and Ruth but haven’t had much luck. Thought of _____ EmmaRuth Evans-Shives. It’s a bit much I know but thinking by kindergarten child will probably just go by Shives.

I love the “old” names however we do not want a name that will be very common. (Mistake with Jordan and Alyssa). Because of this we rejected:

Isabella
Ella
Ava
Madeline

I have rewritten this email several times over the past couple months with the same dilemma. We appreciate any suggestions!

To my ear and eye, Alyssa and Isla are too similar—despite their completely different styles. I notice it especially when I try out the list of sibling names aloud: Jordan, Corbin, Alyssa, and Isla. They’re not so similar as to be a total dealbreaker, but you specified that you didn’t want the new baby’s name to sound like the other children’s names.

I think a mid-name capital AND a hyphen is too much for one child’s name. Do you like the name Ruth as a first name? Ruth Emma Evans-Shives. Otherwise I suggest choosing whichever name sounds better with your first name choice.

It looks to me as if the crux of your naming problem is a conflict between “We like common names” and “We don’t want to use a common name.” One or the other of you liked the names Alyssa and Jordan, and you like Isabella, Ella, Ava, and Madeline—as well as the rapidly-rising Isla (54 girls named Isla in 2005, up to 936 in 2009). I think trying to fight this preference is what’s making the hunt so difficult: you have fashionable tastes, which is no worse in baby name than it is in clothing.

You needn’t choose the very most popular name in the U.S. if you don’t want, of course, but the commonness of names drops so fast: the #10 most popular girl name is used only about half as often as the #1 most popular name. I think you should reconsider the more common names, if they’re ones you’ve crossed off only because of their ranking. I suspect Ella will join Isabella and Ava in the Top 10 this year, but Madeline is less common than the others even taking into account alternate spellings, and is very nice with the sibling names: Jordan, Corbin, Alyssa, and Madeline. Madeline Ruth Evans-Shives.

Or if you like that style but want something less common (though be aware that many such names continue to rise in popularity), something like Molly would be pretty. Molly Ruth Evans-Shives; Jordan, Corbin, Alyssa, and Molly.

Or Ruby: Ruby Emma Evans-Shives; Jordan, Corbin, Alyssa, and Ruby.

Or I like the way Violet pulls in the V sounds from the other names: Violet Ruth Evans-Shives; Jordan, Corbin, Alyssa, and Violet.

Or Stella: Stella Ruth Evans-Shives; Jordan, Corbin, Alyssa, and Stella.

Or Fiona: Fiona Ruth Evans-Shives; Jordan, Corbin, Alyssa, and Fiona.

For something even more unusual, a name I think is way underused is Bianca: Bianca Ruth Evans-Shives; Jordan, Corbin, Alyssa, and Bianca.

If you like Isla but you’re worried about the spelling, I wonder if you’d like Iris: Iris Ruth Evans-Shives; Jordan, Corbin, Alyssa, and Iris.

There is also the rhyming name Lila, easier to spell than Isla though also more common: Lila Ruth Evans-Shives; Jordan, Corbin, Alyssa, and Lila.

Or another rhyming possibility: Kyla. Kyla Ruth Evans-Shives; Jordan, Corbin, Alyssa, and Kyla.

Oh, there’s another! Mila: Mila Ruth Evans-Shives; Jordan, Corbin, Alyssa, and Mila.

A name I think sounds like one of the currently-popular names (and specifically like Madeline from your list), but for some reason isn’t common, is Emeline. Emeline Ruth Evans-Shives; Jordan, Corbin, Alyssa, and Emeline.

Jennifer writes:

Okay, I am at the end of my rope with this name game thing.

My husband and I are expecting a boy around March 5th. When I was pregnant with my daughter we had two boy names picked out before we found out she was a girl. For months we argued about what to name her. Eventually we decided on Avelyn Isa.bel, a combination of Evelyn (my husband’s choice) and Ava (not exactly on my list but a very pretty name I liked). I LOVE my daughter’s name, and it fits her perfectly.

Now that we are having a boy, I hate every name I hear. I don’t want something so common like John or Michael (hello, I am a Jennifer) but I don’t want something ridiculous that sounds like it’s trying too hard either. The names we thought we loved the first time around for boys were Cabe Alexander (a name husband thought up before we even married) and Orion Bruce (the latter being a combination of both our fathers names). However neither name is anywhere near the top of my list right now and I have contributed nothing to the name pool. Seriously, I have found nothing I like. My husband had a list of names most of which I think are awful (for my baby anyway) and from those I remember something like Isaiah, Malachi, Jude, Isaac…

The only one I like from his list has been Noah. Middle names considered were James or Bruce (family names) however, 1) I’m not sold 100% that this is THE NAME and most importantly to me right now 2) it is a pretty popular name right now. I hate that. With both parents being Jennifer and Kevin I don’t want our boy to be one of four Noah’s in every class.

Our last name sounds like belch (sorry!) but starts with a ‘W’. With one girl at home and one boy on the way I really don’t plan to have any more children. I just want to find something as unique and beautiful and fitting for this baby as Avelyn turned out to be for my first born.

P.S. I feel like I should quickly clarify that my husband and I are not very religious, he even less than me, so it was surprising that so many of his names are biblical in nature. This is not an important part of choosing a name to us, just so that is clear :) Also, one of the things that draws me to the name Noah is the sound, it just seems to roll off the tongue, very calm and subtle-like. Thanks for any ideas you can offer!

I’m trying to make a list of boy names I think of as similar to Noah (with that sort of GENTLE sound). But of course a lot of this is purely subjective: I might think Asher has a similar sound, and someone else could say “ASHER?? But that’s so HARSH!” Nevertheless!

Asher
Callum
Casey
Cole
Donnelly
Eli
Elias
Finley
Henry
Jeremy
Julian
Karl
Leo
Levi
Miller
Milo
Oliver
Owen
Perry
Seth
Silas
Theo

I particularly like Milo _elch—maybe Milo James _elch. Avelyn and Milo. That’s my favorite.

I also love the friendly sound of Casey _elch. Casey James _elch; Avelyn and Casey. For something a little more formal than Casey, I might use Charles/Charlie. Charles Bruce _elch; Charlie _elch; Avelyn and Charlie.

Elias _elch has a very appealing old-fashioned sound, and I love Avelyn and Elias together.

You liked Cabe the first time around, so I suggest Gabriel. Avelyn and Gabriel is a wonderful set, and you have Gabe as a nickname.

Anne writes:

My husband and I are expecting our first child March 4th. He is a boy and his middle name will be Davis in remembrance of my husband’s mother, who’s maiden name was Davis. Our last name is Mikalik, pronounced mick-uh-lick.

We could easily named quadruplets if we were having a girl, but boy names have us stumped!

I love the names Cowen, Eliot, and Wyatt. I also like some “m” names like Malachi, which doesn’t sound very good with the last name.

My husband likes Hucksley and Aiden.

One name that we both like is Korbin, but we aren’t totally sold.

We both want a name that is uncommon, but not too weird. I am not a fan of one syllable names.

Any suggestions?

Thank you so much!

Since you like Cowen/Cohen and Korbin, I wonder if you’d like Corwin or Callan or Camden?

If you’d like to avoid commonness, Aiden is out: combining only the three spellings in the Top 100 (Aiden with .76%, Aidan with .27%, and Ayden with .24%) gives us a name that outranks the number one boy name in the U.S. (Jacob, with 1%). And it seems even more common than it is, because of the rhyming names Brayden, Caiden, Hayden, Jaiden, etc.

The name Eamon has a similar sound, but it’s not even in the Top 1000. Eamon Davis Mikalik.

If you do use Korbin, I recommend spelling it Corbin (unless, of course, you have a specific reason for spelling it with a K): a common technique for feminizing an androgynous name is changing a C to a K (Kamryn, Karsen).

Eliot and Wyatt make me think of Everett, but I’m not sure I like that tumbling rhythm: Everett Mikalik.

If your husband likes Hucksley/Huxley, I wonder if he’d like Hartley or Harris or Haskell or Hatcher.

Heather writes:

I too am having a dilemma with choosing a name for our soon-to-be son. We are adopting a toddler boy from China, hoping to have him home early summer.

We already have three bio children, twin girls, Audrey Elizabeth and Layla Marie, and a son, Julian Oliver. When we decided to adopt we immediately knew we loved the name Roman (it was a runner up with Julian). But once we decided to adopt from China, my husband sort of backed away from it because by definition the name means “From Rome”. He didn’t see it fair to bring a Chinese boy to America and name him a name meaning from Italy. Plus then we found out several people in our family don’t really like it either–which isn’t a deal breaker as no one really liked Julian and we love it. Also, we probably won’t use a Chinese name for various reasons, especially since we feel his Chinese name will always be his to have, just not what we and everyone calls him. So, after sort of pushing Roman to the side, (though we still love it) we’ve made a short list of:

Nolan
Jeremiah
Malachi (nn Chi {pronounced Kai})–Nice, subtle Chinese feel
Beckett
Easton
Wesley
Roman–still had to include it

The first/middle name combos we like the best are (probably in order of favorite to least favorite):
Nolan Beckett
Jeremiah James
Roman Beckett
Roman Wesley
Wesley Easton–Love that this means from the West to the East (and back again)
Easton Beckett
Malachi James

Trouble with Easton is that it sounds so much like Ethan (our neighbor boy). I like classic yet modern names, not too trendy, not too unusual.

Also, the “B-rated” list, mostly that I liked but husband did not so much:
Emmett
Griffin (love nn Finn)
Hayden
Jonas

And names that I cannot use: Noah, Micah, Nathan, Owen, Joseph, Ethan, Benjamin

So do you think Roman would be a deal breaker for our little Chinese boy? Does the name really evoke a certain feeling or geography that won’t match our son? Any other suggestions? Oh, and our last name is Six.

Thanks!!

 
Hm. This is a tough one, and I suspect answers will be all over the spectrum. To me, the name Roman definitely does bring to mind Rome and the Romans—but on the other hand it’s sounding more namey all the time. I have similar (though opposite, because it’s connected rather than clashing) qualms about the name Easton, what with references to Eastern medicine and Eastern religions and so forth: it’s not like it’s a flagrant connection, but it comes to mind. It does seem better in adoption situations to avoid names that deal with geography, but if I met a boy from China named Roman I would maybe blink once—it’s not like I’d think “WHAT WERE HIS PARENTS THINKING??”

For a name that’s similar to Roman but doesn’t have a geographical connection, I think Nolan from your list is the best. My favorite with the other siblings’ names is Wesley.

I don’t feel any need to add to your list at all: those names look like really good candidates. Let’s have a poll instead (over to the right). [Poll closed; see results below.]

Jennifer writes:

I’m hoping you can help me with a name for our second baby (due 2/22/11, gender unknown). Due to a miscommunication at birth, my older son was named by the NICU nurses. When I met him a few hours after birth, he had a big sign over his isolette stating his name was Jonas. All the other relatives (aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc.) had already met him, so it really had already become his name. And frankly, as long as he was breathing, all else seemed unimportant at the time. Its a name that suits him perfectly and we are very happy with it, but for baby #2, we’d like to name him/her ourselves.

Our last name sounds like “Four”
The other 3 of us have names that start with “J”, but I really don’t want a fourth J name. It just seems like too much. Do you think this is fair to a second – and last – baby? (for what its worth, the three J’s all have birthdays within 4 days of each other, and this baby will be born a whole different month).
We like names that are less popular, trying to avoid something in the top 100. Hubs and I both grew up with ridiculously popular names.
We want to avoid anything that is gender neutral
We need something that is at least 2 syllables and can’t be easily shortened to one syllable (because last name is only one syllable)
My husband would like a name that has a good song associated with it – I consider this criteria negotiable. :)
I really like flower/nature names, but am not set on them.

Some of the names that we’ve considered and discarded:
Juniper (J criteria)
Violet (the idea of a purple baby reminds me too much of my son at birth)
Everett (hubby likes it, I just don’t)
Audrey (our next door neighbors and good friends have an Audrey)

Still considering, but just don’t feel great about:
Lucy (hubs has red hair, not sure if I could name a red headed girl Lucy, too type-cast)
River (too gender-neutral?)
Vera

Can you help us out?

Can you tell us more about the miscommunication? That is, did you intend his name to be Jonah but the nurses thought you said Jonas, or was it that you intended a completely different name altogether, like Griffin or Keegan? (Both Griffin and Keegan might work as brother names.)

Yes, I think it’s fine to break from the J thing. If you had three children with J names and were planning a fourth and final child, I might reluctantly suggest you stick with Js—but I don’t think parent initials are as noticeable. And if you LIKE a J name (if, for example, you love the name Juniper), I don’t think you need to let the unintended J theme stop you.

The name Jonas sounds very good with other biblical names such as Ezra, Asher, Levi, and Elias. I love it with Gideon, and I think Gideon is such a great and underused name. I also like it with Reuben and Simon and Gabriel—though Gabriel shortens easily to Gabe. It’s great with Judah (which gives your husband Hey Jude), but perhaps too similar, and also a J, and also shortens easily to Jude—so, er, pretty much wrong in every way, now that I think of it.

If you like River but want something more distinctly boyish, I wonder if you’d like Forest? It has an old-timey style lacking in the more contemporary River, which also makes it go well with Jonas.

The name Everett makes me think of the two other names I’ve mentally filed it with: Emmett and Elliot.

Or Griffin or Keegan, from above.

For sisters, I’ll dip once again into the biblical names: Lydia, Tabitha, Claudia, Adah, Esther, Miriam, Naomi. Miriam in particular seems unfairly neglected.

For something more along the lines of Juniper and Violet, I like Acacia, Azalea, Briony, Calla, Ember, Emerald, Hazel, Ivy, Magnolia, Marin, Verena. Or Felicity, but maybe that’s too alliterative with the surname; or Iris, but maybe “two syllables ending in S” is too similar to Jonas; or Beatrix, but it shortens easily to Bea/Bee.

For something more similar to Lucy: Eliza is pretty, or Phoebe, or Cecily, or Annabel? Or Clara or Cora. Of those, I think only Phoebe has the sass of Lucy; the others emphasize more the sweetness. More sass: Molly, Ruby, Sadie, Georgia.

Updated question on Baby Twin Girls McKenzie! The twins’ first names have been selected—but do you think they go with the middle names? (The new part of the question is at the end of the original post, after the answer.)