Bethany writes:

We are expecting our daughter to arrive in the middle of April. Our last name is Haid, as in Hyde… not Hey-d, and it is more likely mispronounced than pronounced correctly. I would love to have a name for my daughter that helps in the pronunciation, rather than makes it more difficult. Names like Aiden, for example, are terrible with our last name because of the German vowel pattern.

My name is Bethany, no nickname, and my husband is Daniel, nn Dan. Our son is also named Daniel, a family namesake that has been given to the first son for seven generations now. I have some remorse in naming him after this strong family tradition because I worry it will leave other children from feeling so connected or make them feel less important. I notice this trend in my husband’s family’s Dan’s siblings. However, it was hard to justify not having Daniel Haid #7! Anyway, his full name is Daniel Henry Haid, a name I do appreciate because I think it sounds presidential, strong, and has a good flow. I do often call him by first and middle names, but I probably will never call him Dan, Danny, etc. So we need a name that sounds nice with Dan, Bethany, and Daniel.

If this girl were a boy, I would want a similar strong, presidential sounding name. Maybe Abraham or Solomon. Maybe named after MY father, David Douglas Haid. However, as for naming a girl, I feel really stuck! I don’t feel especially compelled to use another family name, but it might be nice to have some sense of the namesake tradition, even if just middle names.

My husband has only mentioned that he likes two names: Elsa and Anna. He says he likes that they are shorter and doesn’t mind that our last name is short, too. I think these names are nice, but I don’t love them. I do like longer names, ones that are frillier, with more consonants. I suggested Eliza, Elise, Elisa, Annelise/Anneliese, Joanna… and he likes them, but does not love those names. I worry that if we choose Elsa, the nickname Elsie will be dowdy and ugly sounding to my ears. I also don’t really like the name Anna because of having a house with a Dan, Daniel, and Ann/Anna would be too much rhyming!

Names that I like (as well as the ones above) are: Vivian/Vivianne, Beatrice, Catherine, Elinor, Mirabelle (middle?). Alice (too short?), Elizabeth… some of these names are family names on my side, which might be nice as a family namesake tradition. Nice, but not necessary. He hasn’t really endorsed OR vetoed these names, but when I told him this list all he said, “Oh, Catherine… Kate! That is a nice one.” So another really short name!

We both don’t want to choose a name JUST because its popular or JUST because its unusual. We both don’t really love the top ten girls names right now. They are very nice, but we both were the only Bethanys or Daniels in our classes in elementary school in the 90s, and that was nice!

Names that are out are Ava (we named our first daughter lost in pregnancy this), Rebecca (I like, but its my mother in laws name, and it would be logistically ridiculous to have another set of Daniel and Rebeccas living in the same house… plus, I don’t NEED to have a namesake), Charlotte and Emma (BFF just named her girls this in March), anything with a vowel pattern that doesn’t really match Haid.

Other trends I noticed in our naming: It doesn’t have to be Biblical or historic, but that is nice. We like both modern and traditional names. We want a good flow with first and middle, like our son’s name… so a name with repeating first consonants is totally okay.

Can you help us think of a good name solution for our daughter? I am VERY open to totally different suggestions that we might not have thought about. We’ve been through the Baby Name Wizard (both editions) several times, and still we have the big question of “what shall we name the baby?”.

 
I agree with you about Anna: it’s such a great name, but I think it’s too much with Dan and Daniel.

I think Elsa is a very pretty name. I’d never considered it until I heard it on a friend’s niece: Elsa Jane. I immediately loved it and wanted everyone I knew to use it on THEIR babies. I don’t think you’d need to use Elsie any more than you have to use Danny, and if you DID use Elsie I don’t think it’s ugly (which is not to say YOU won’t find it ugly, but sometimes it helps to have other people saying they don’t feel that way about it). You could call her Elsa Jane, just as you call your son Daniel Henry. The one downside of Jane as a middle name is that it works against (or at least not FOR) the correct pronunciation of your surname. I’m trying to think of a long-I middle name, but you know what’s hard to find? Long-I middle names. There’s Jane, Jean, Joan, and June—but no Jine. Elsa Adaline or Elsa Madeline might work.

I wonder if you’d like Amelia? Amelia Haid. I like Abigail Haid even better, but that has the -ai- problem.

Or Clara is similar in style to Anna: Clara Haid, Daniel and Clara.

In keeping with the presidential theme, I wonder if there are any First Lady names that would be pleasing? I like Hillary Haid. Daniel and Hillary. Your choice of Elinor/Eleanor works for this, too, and your husband might like the nickname Nora or Ellie.

I like Frances, too, and Helen, and Ellen, and goodness, I hardly knew ANY First Lady names before looking at this list. Did you know Lady Bird Johnson’s real name was Claudia? Or that Pat Nixon’s real name was Thelma? Or that Grover Cleveland was a grown-up when his future wife was born, and in fact he was the one who bought her baby carriage? Well, I am getting a little off track.

Name update is here!

Cam writes:

We are excited to welcome a second girl to our family on/around April 18, 2011, but we can’t get traction on her name! We just had a girl two years ago, and agreeing on her name was a big enough challenge! She is Aerin R—–. Think of our last name as “Goldstein,” but it starts with a “B.” We love Aerin’s full name. The problem is that my husband and I vetted so many names with her; we have very different tastes; and I would like to avoid common names.

My dream is a fresh, pretty, interesting, but non-trendy name. My husband would be happy with names like Jessica or Mia (too common for me), but he will defer to my choice if he likes the name enough. Why is this so hard? I like names in theory, but end up rejecting most! Any new ideas, or thoughts on our existing options, would be much appreciated!

Current short list:

Sela (a Hebrew name – my husband’s favorite of the ones I’ve suggested)

Isla (I LOVE this one, but we are both nervous because of the likely mispronunciation issue)

Serena (seems long to say, but sounds perfect with our last name)

Names liked in theory …

Annelise

Ciel

Eden (LOVE, but already used by close friend)

Elletra

Ivy (LOVE, but my husband rejected as a stripper name, which I think is crazy!)

Liles

Luella

Louisa

Scarlett

Other facts:

We live in a big city. I am Southern, and my husband is Jewish.

“S” names are good because they would honor my husband’s grandfather (who was Sidney, but we don’t love the girl’s name Sydney except as a middle name).

Middle name could be Adelle (strong family associations), a “J” name like Juliet, Sydney as mentioned above, or something totally different.

I would prefer NOT to use a nickname.

If I gave birth today, “Sela Adelle Goldstein” would be our frontrunner. But I can’t help but think that Sela doesn’t sound “strong” enough, AND I worry about people hearing “seal” when they hear it (insert seal barking noise!). Thoughts?

Thank you SO much!

Ivy a STRIPPER name? Oh, I wonder if he’s thinking of Drew Barrymore in Poison Ivy? She was a bit, er, provocative in that movie. And the DC Comics character Poison Ivy also dresses scantily. Maybe Iris instead?

If you love Eden but can’t use it, I suggest Haven. It’s similar in sound, and I think the association is nicer: less paradise/nakedness/temptation, more safe/comfortable/protected.

If you’re worried about the seal in Sela, I wonder if you’d like Celia? It has the same sound in it, but because the name is more familiar, the “seal” is less noticeable. Or Cecily and Celeste are both very pretty. Or maybe you’d like Selah? According to The Baby Name Wizard, that’s the Hebrew name (pronounced SAY-lah), and Sela is “an unrelated biblical place name.” If that’s true, that would let you keep the S and the Hebrew while losing the seal.

If you like Isla but want to avoid the tricky pronunciation (though it’s getting common enough that I think soon most people will know how to say it), maybe a rhyming name such as Lila? Or I think Mila is so pretty, and that might remind your husband of his frontrunner Mia.

Serena doesn’t seem too long to me.

Name update! Cam writes:

Our dear baby girl, Isla Adele, arrived nearly two weeks late, at the beginning of May. I was about to lose my mind waiting for her! My husband and I had numerous conversations about names as we waited for her to arrive, and yet we still didn’t name her until just before leaving the hospital. All along, I loved the name Isla the most, but we were afraid of the pronunciation issue. (We pronounce her name “EYE-lah,” but it reads like “IZ-lah” or “EES-lah.”) Finally, we decided to go with the name we loved, even if it might get mispronounced when people read it. We figure that “Isla” is short and simple, so it’s easy for people to remember once they hear it. Plus, we like how it sounds with her big sister’s name, Aerin.

The Swistle input was super helpful, both in making me feel good about our ideas, and in giving me new ones. I was really frustrated about our inability to choose a name while I was pregnant, but reading the responses to my question (and many others) was informative and just plain fun. I thought it was interesting that so many readers liked Sela (my husband’s first choice). I admit I still sometimes wonder if we should’ve picked Sela instead of Isla, but I just don’t LOVE it the way I love Isla. We get a ton of compliments on Isla’s name. I just hope she likes it when she grows up!

P.S. My husband never retreated from his view that Ivy is a “stripper name,” but we all know that he’s wrong about that! :)

Haley writes:

We are expecting our second child, a girl, the middle of April, and I am going out of my mind trying to find a name for this little person. When we named our son it was 100% painless, it’s a long story but we just knew that his name was Ty, I think because of that this time around is twice as painful. Our style is pretty all over the place. We want something that is familiar, and classic, I don’t mind popular, but would like to avoid trendy or top 10. My husband and I both have very classic names so I don’t want her to be the odd one out with a bizarre name. A good nickname is very important, I tend to shorten or nickname those I love. Her middle name will be Jen or Jennifer after my amazing mom!
Here is our list so far:

Atley – I love this name, my husband hasn’t vetoed it but has issues with it. For me it has alot of what I want, not overly girly, but still able to be feminine. A little spunky, plenty of nicknames, and definitely not top 10. I also feel like it goes well with Ty. My problem with it is that every time I tell someone this name they either make me spell it for them or spell it themselves to make sure they have it right. Is it so unusual that it falls into the strange category? It has a familiar sound to me but maybe that’s because it has been rolling around in my head for months now.
Addison – This is my husbands compromise to Atley, I do really like the name, but I am having a hard time getting over where it sits on Social Security website.
Josie – Husband likes, I am meh–
Emery – I love, husband is meh
Elsa – Husband is undecided and I am afraid it might get butchered a lot.
Anistyn – Nickname? Not sure I like Ann or Annie
Austyn – Husband likes, I can’t get past no nickname
Lucy – Struggling with the nickname Luc (loose), and it’s top 10 in our area.
Ryland
Ashtyn
Alice
Nellie
Hattie – We are both a little meh, but it’s still on the list
I guess I should also include our three year olds suggestions of Tyla and Cactus

Vetoed:
Scarlett
Dillen
Quinn
Vivian – (I cried when husband vetoed)

Names we love that we can’t use:
Allie
Rylie
Drew
Sydney
Emmeline
Madeline
Audrey
Jessie

After rereading this I realize that I really am all over the place. Guidance please!! I keep thinking that I just haven’t heard the right name yet, and maybe its also a little because my husband really isn’t loving anything either. Of course maybe I am just way over analyzing this whole thing….(me??, no way!) Thanks so much for any suggestions! I can’t wait to settle on a name so that I can dream about something else at night. :)

Atley is indeed a highly unusual name: according to the Social Security Administration, it was given to only 22 girls in 2009. That’s the same as the number of girls who were named Christopher that year. I think with names of that sort, it’s good to have a quick-reference to help people incorporate it: in this case, something like “It’s like Ashley, but with a T instead of an S-H.” Or if you went with Atalie/Ataley, you could say “Like Natalie without the N.”

Padgett comes to mind: it doesn’t solve the classic/familiar issue at all, but it’s similar to Atley and I think it’s such a cute name.

Or would you like Shelby or Brinley? They have some of the sound of Atley, while being more familiar.

If Addison’s popularity is the main sticking point, I suggest Adelyn and Avelyn and Emerson, and perhaps Adeline and Evelyn.

A name similar to Emery is Everly, which makes me think of Ellery, which makes me think of Ellis, which makes me think of Hollis.

I think Elsa is wonderful with your surname: Elsa DeHart. I don’t THINK it would get butchered—or at least, I can’t see many ways to mispronounce it. And it’s good with Ty. This is my favorite from your list.

This is a little out of nowhere, but would you like Paisley? Paisley DeHart; Ty and Paisley. There aren’t a ton of easy nicknames, but I can picture saying Paisy-Daisy.

I think Kiefer is an adorable name for a little girl—but again, nickname issues. Keef? Kiki? Efie (I’m imagining it sounding like Evie)? And the -fer means Jennifer as a middle name won’t work. (Perhaps Cactus instead?)

I think Winslow is gone for boys, which makes it excellent material (with good nicknames) for girls.

Name update! Haley writes:

Our little girl Ally Jennifer DeHart made her debut on April 12, 2011. I was so hoping that everyone who told me the second I saw her I would just “know” what her name was would be right, but not so much. My husband and I had gone through both of the hospitals name books twice and still nothing we could agree on. My husband really wanted to name her Austen, but she was so little and sweet I felt she really needed something more feminine, I was pulling realllllllly hard for Elsa, it just seemed to fit her but my husband just didn’t like it at all. So the name we settled on as we were walking out the door was Ally. Looking back I had thrown that name out early on because we have friends, who also happen to be our neighbors, with a baby girl who is named Alee. But in the end the name is everything I wanted, It’s a traditional name that’s not too trendy, everyone was really shocked, they said “That wasn’t even on the list!!” haha! I am so glad its over, thanks again for all your help and the help from all the readers, it really did help!

Meghan writes:

Hi! My name is Meghan and my husband and I were hoping you could help us with picking a name for our little girl expected to arrive in mid-April. We have a two year old son named Greyson James and our last name is Christie, spelled and pronounced just like the girls name. We almost immediately agreed on our sons name and it suits him perfectly. His middle name, James, is the same as my husbands and is a family name on his side. We would like to try and use a family name for our daughter’s middle name as well but if we find something else we love that is negotiable. The family middle names we are considering are Lynn, for his grandmother, and Katherine, for my great grandmother. Right now I think we are having a problem similar to many other posts in that we do not agree on many names or one of us finds a fault with almost every name the other comes up with. We agree that the name should not start with “C” or “K” and should not end in “ie” or “y” as this sounds a bit sing-songy with our last name. Here is a list of names we are currently seriously considering:

Harper- I love this and think it would sound nice with “Lynn” as a middle name but my husband says he cannot see himself using this name on a normal day to day basis.

Rowan- My choice as well, however, he concedes that he does like this but that it sounds too much like his sisters name (Rohanna).

Ella- We both have always really liked this name but are concerned with its popularity. I do not want her to have a name that she will have to share with someone in her class, etc. I am also concerned that if we were to use this that it does not go well with Lynn as a middle name and my husband does not like it with Katherine. Do you think Ella Lynn is too many “L”‘s or double letters?

Lastly, here is a list of other names we have considered but discareded broken down into his list and mine:

My list:
Selah- pronounced Say-La, husband will not even consider
Alivia- too popular even though it does not start with “O”.
Adalynn- we both agreed on this at first but now feel sort of indifferent towards it.

His list:
Eva- we know many Evas and Avas
Evelyn- too popular
Leonna- Sounds too old fashioned to me and we know someone with a daughter named “Lianna”
Adrianna- I vetoed this one.

We would love to hear your opinions and any feedback on the current names/ suggestions of other names would be great! Thank you!

 
I don’t mind the repeating double letters of Ella Lynn (in fact, I like it), but I don’t like the repeating L sounds, or the way the two names run together. I do love the sound of Ella Katherine. But I would advise against Ella for you in any case, since popularity is important to you: Ella was #14 in 2009—much more common than Evelyn and Eva.

I think one of the only problems with the name Harper is there’s no nickname for it: otherwise I would suggest your husband use the nickname until he adjusted to the full name. I wonder if you’d like Juniper instead: it’s similar, but has the easy nickname Junie. Juniper Christie sounds great to me, and I like it with Greyson.

Rowan is so good with Greyson, too. I wish I could suggest Romy or Romilly as possibilities, but they both end in Y. Rosella? It has the Ella you like, plus the Ro sound. Rosella Christie.

Or Bronwyn? It has the feel of Rowan, but won’t be too similar to Aunt Rohanna. Bronwyn Christie sounds wonderful to me. Bronwyn Katherine Christie; Greyson and Bronwyn.

A name my mom recently encountered is Elowyn. It’s similar to Ella and Rowen and Evelyn. Elowyn Christie. It doesn’t work well with either middle name possibility, I don’t think; are there any other names of female relatives you could use?

Fiona, too, has some of the sound of Rowan, though it increases the femininity. Fiona Katherine Christie; Greyson and Fiona.

Name update! Meghan writes:

Sorry it has taken so long to write with our name update! Just wanted to let you know our daughter, Ella Catherine, was born on April 21, 2011 and was a tiny 5lbs 12oz. My husband and I decided that in the end popularity was not as much of a factor as we once considered. Ella was the original name we both loved and after discovering that Catherine was not only my great grandmother’s first name but my grandmother’s middle name (thus the spelling change from K to C), we knew we had to use it! We absolutely love her name and think it suits her perfectly! She and big brother, Greyson, are doing great! A big thank you to you and the other readers for all of your suggestions and advice!

I have also attached a picture!