Hi there!
My name is Alexa! I am due in March with baby boy #2. My last name is Lynch. We had (and lost) a micropreemie in 2021 named Natalie Marlena. It was still so early, and we didn’t know what we were having—so we had both boy and girl names brainstormed. When I woke up in the SICU, I told my husband this name with 100% conviction. Just one of those weird gut things, I guess? I can’t say for sure this baby will be our last child, but based on my high-risk pregnancies, it is likely.
Our first son was born in 2022 and his name, Thomas (Alexander), floated around on our lists for a while—first as a middle name, but we committed to the name about a month before he was born. We call him Thomas, and my approach to nicknames is that they must be OK’d by the bearer and/or develop naturally. (Also, how hard is it to say ‘Thomas’ instead of Tom or Tommy?!) Alexander is homage to me, Alexa. My husband’s name is Donovan. Neither of us go by nicknames, and my husband has grown out of his childhood family nickname.
Our main challenge is that my husband is one of nine children, and I have three sisters with six children of their own. We both come from large families beyond that. I tell folks that I’ve probably heard all the names before, or we know someone, etc. I tend to dislike the most popular or trendy names. I guess Thomas is “old-school popular” to me. (Side note, husband has two siblings that are “juniors” of dad AND mom already!)
I was stuck on Alden for our first son before switching to Thomas. I liked how it was a sort-of mashup with Alexa and Donovan, but my husband has been repeatedly “meh” on it. Desmond was our first frontrunner with this baby—my husband has always loved the name and after a friend used it in 2017, we tabled it for our first son. I like how uncommon it is, but I can’t get over the fact that it was already used by a former friend. It passes the vibe check, but I don’t love it.
Right now the leading name is Tristan, but I think it’s weirdly alliterative with Thomas already. We like Matthias as a middle name, similar to husband’s middle name (Matthew). There are 25+ names on the veto list, and I think I’m getting overwhelmed.
As I read back through your blog, I’m interested in your perspective! Each post I read has names with merits, or that I can reconsider in the right light. Either way, I think I need a fresh take. Thank you so much!
I am inclined to look for another old-school popular name, like Thomas: a name that FEELS common, and yet there aren’t many in the classrooms. A name that, the last time it was common, every single person with that name went by the standard nicknames, leaving the full name feeling fresh and unexpected.
Andrew
Daniel
James
Joseph
Joshua
Martin
Matthew
Nathan
Patrick
Peter
Philip
Stephen
I am particularly drawn to Daniel and Stephen: I have known numerous of each, all of whom went by Dan and Steve, none of whom went by Daniel and Stephen. I don’t know if the -l/L- of Daniel is an issue at all; I didn’t notice it until I started to make my usual little sounding-it-out arrangement: Daniel Lynch; Thomas and Daniel. Stephen Lynch; Thomas and Stephen. Other possible sound issues: if Andrew DID go by Drew, does Drew Lynch sound like drool inch? if Philip DID go by Phil, do we have an -l/L- issue?
These don’t fall into my “old-school popular, all of them went by a nickname last time around” category, but I also suggest:
Adam
Calvin
Elliot
Emmett
Ethan
George
Gideon
Jeremy
Owen
Simon
I realize I may have just listed 20+ names straight from the veto list. And certainly none of these will be new to you. But for a sibling group including Natalie and Thomas, I am looking for something more along the lines of “SURPRISINGLY fresh” (i.e., the name John doesn’t seem as if it would have any freshness left after generations of use—until you encounter it on a kindergartner) as opposed to something new and exciting that would be a jolting change of style. I suspect what is needed is not for a name to stand up and slap you, but rather for a name to grow on you sneakily, until you realize you have been thinking of the name warmly and affectionately and now wish to squeeze a baby with that name.
How did the name Thomas change from a name knocking around as a possible middle name to a name you wanted to squeeze on a baby? Do you remember how it went from “Sure, pretty good name” to being THE NAME? I think it’s very likely something similar will happen this time around.
Finding the right middle name may help: sometimes hearing the full three-name combination brings a name from “Sure, pretty good name” to “YES.” (Watch the initials: one wouldn’t want to accidentally name a Franklin Matthias Lynch.)
Calvin Matthias Lynch
Daniel Alden Lynch
Elliot Alden Lynch
George Matthias Lynch
James Alden Lynch
Joseph Tristan Lynch
Martin Matthias Lynch
Peter Tristan Lynch
Philip Desmond Lynch
Stephen Desmond Lynch
I read a book once with a character was named Matthias, but he was called Tice. I always thought that was such a great name!
Not necessarily what you asked, but I don’t see that name mentioned very often.
Congratulations on your new baby!
Was also going to suggest Simon for you – we have similar naming styles and it is our boy name that will likely never be used by us. Also on our list was Franklin, Jude, Peter, and David.
I’ll offer that my almost two year old is named Nicholas and it’s a name that everyone knows yet it’s not very common among young kids. I’ve actually yet to meet another Nicholas under the age of 15. Reaction to his name has been universally positive.
It may not seem like it but 2017 was a long time ago. Unless you still have weekly interactions with said friend, I think 7 years is a big ebough gap to use Desmond if you both love it.
Or a similar sounding name?
Edmund / Edmond
Edward
Dustin
Denton
Dawson
Raymond
Richmond
Weston
Agree about Desmond – 7 years is a while.
The name that came to my mind was David. Other ideas:
Joel (again with the repeating L issue in first and last name)
Christopher
Warren
Zachary
Re: Desmond – 2017 and “former friend” puts it back in play to me.
I like Alden.
Arthur
Ivan
John
Dane
Devon
Preston
I like Matthias as the middle and how they would each have a
middle that was a tribute to one of the parents names.
Jonathan Jesse
Andrew Lewis
Robert Seth
Gerald Peter
Gabriel Stuart
Nathaniel David
Alan Michael
…this may or may not have been my personal list, lol.
Ooh …. I’d forgotten about Stuart! Natalie, Thomas and Stuart sound wonderful.
Oooo I love the “underused classics” category:
Dennis (but maybe not with Matthias)
Bradley
Nathan
Douglas
Philip
Dean
Graham
Marshall
Matthias is the name that got away for me. If you decided to use it as a first, Matthias Desmond sounds pretty great, and Natalie, Thomas, & Matthias sound fantastic together.
Other ideas that Natalie and Thomas remind me of…
Paul
Frederick
Peter
Thaddeus
Malcolm
Malachi
Timothy
Christian
Tristan’s great too, and doesn’t feel weirdly alliterative with Thomas to me. Alden makes me feel swoony. You just have the loveliest taste.
Warren
Victor
Michael
Conrad
Frederick
Alfred
Edwin
Edmund
George
James
John
Peter
Love Thomas and all of the names above! Classic but sound fresh on a baby/little boy.
I like Alexander, David, Ian, Jonah, or William for you. Or Nicholas, if you don’t mind repeating an initial.
So sorry for the loss of your sweet Natalie. Her name is beautiful ❤️
Desmond always makes me think of Malcolm.
Malcolm Matthias sounds very handsome.
Natalie, Thomas, Malcolm
Peter is a lovely underused classic
Peter Matthias.
Natalie, Thomas, Peter
I feel like Reid, Dean, or Grant work wonderfully alongside Natalie and Thomas.
Dean Matthias
Reid Matthias
Grant Matthias
Natalie, Thomas, Reid
Natalie, Thomas, Dean
Natalie, Thomas, Grant
Zachary had its heyday in the 90s but sounds so refreshing to hear now
Zachary Matthias
Natalie, Thomas, Zachary
Or how about Robert?
Robert Matthias
Natalie, Thomas, Robert
Or what about just Jay? Short and sweet but so friendly and warm sounding and hardly heard of anymore!
Jay Matthias
Natalie, Thomas, Jay
If not Alden, how about Alan/Allen?
Alan Matthias
Natalie, Thomas, Alan
I’m agreeing with others that 2017 was seven years ago, and you use the term “former friend,” so it seems like Desmond could very much be in the running. But, if the name has lost it’s “shine” for you . . . .
You might like (more than a few repeats):
Aaron — Natalie, Thomas, and Aaron
Adam — Natalie, Thomas, and Adam
Barrett — Natalie, Thomas, and Barrett
Calvin — Natalie, Thomas, and Calvin
Charles — Natalie, Thomas, and Charles
Craig — Natalie, Thomas, and Craig
Conor/Connor — Natalie, Thomas, and Conor/Connor
Garrett — Natalie, Thomas, and Garrett
Grant — Natalie, Thomas, and Grant
Malcolm — Natalie, Thomas, and Malcolm
Philip — Natalie, Thomas, and Philip
Roan — Natalie, Thomas, and Roan
Best wishes to you!
I see no problem using Tristan with Thomas. The alliteration doesn’t seem weird to me at all. However, I don’t think Donovan works well as a middle name for Tristan.
Also, it seems to me that Desmond is not a problem because I friend used it 7 years ago but may be a problem because you don’t love it.
I do like classic boys names that are seldom used on little ones right now. These options are appealing to me.
Peter Donovan L
Mark Donovan L
George Donovan L
Eric Donovan L
Natalie and Thomas are lovely names. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Just a note that Thomas and Matthias lean a bit to ‘disciples’ names if you move in circles where Bible/Christianity are well known (Matthias replaced Judas as a disciple). This may or may not be an issue and its not like siblings have to move as a duo through the world, but it might be helpful to realize that Thomas + Peter/Simon/James/John/Andrew/Thaddeus etc may sound religious together (which doesn’t have to matter but may be something to be aware of).
A name that sounds so fresh from Swistle’s list is Jeremy. Are we ready for a resurgence of Jeremys? It feels like a long time since I’ve heard Jeremy on a baby/young kid. I feel similarly about David – sounds so tired and used until you meet a cute little toddler named David.
Jeremy Matthias Lynch – Thomas and Jeremy
David Matthias Lynch – Thomas and David
I like Tristan a lot but if you are staying away from trendier names I’m not sure it is the best match with Thomas.
What about Duncan? I also have a friend who has a child named Desmond and one named Everett, if that perhaps speaks to you.
Russell
Alan
Perry
I met a little Victor and it was surprisingly fresh and unexpected. It could have a nickname, but not needed. Straightforward to pronounce and spell.
Also Warren.
I came in here to add Robert to the pool, and encourage Simon, which is a lovely not nicknamey name. I will also add Malcolm to the list of names, which is a great name, and Isaac, which people definitely know and isn’t a trend, but a solid name.
I also wondered whether you might like the idea of an N name in honor of Natalie. In my family tradition it is pretty common to do a first letter honor. Nathan or Nathaniel might feel too close to Natalie, but maybe Nicholas, Neil, Nolan, Nico, or Noah might feel like good honors for your daughter.
In this category of classic names that are underused, I love Russell and Graham.
How about Walter?
While not quite Tristan Thomas, this name combination reminded me of Tristan Thompson, a basketball player and father of Khloe Kardashian’s kids.
I love Douglas for you. I know two little Douglas or Dougies in England and it feels classic yet incredibly wearable on a little boy ❤️