So hopeful to get your thoughts on our naming roundabout! I love reading your posts so much and know that you would provide some much needed insight for us.
We are expecting a little boy in the spring! We are so excited to welcome him, but fear he will leave the hospital nameless and be known as “baby boy Mouslie” (with an H) forever. We have one little girl named M@ry Gr@ce, but we primarily call her Gr@ce. M@ry is an honor name, and we love both the combo and the nickname and just everything about it. Boys names are proving to be so much harder! Which is confusing for me since I am a self-proclaimed naming guru since childhood. I guess it is different with your own child?? Either that or I’ve lost my touch. Or, it is the fact that I actually have to agree with another person on a name instead of coming up with one on my own. That does make a decision a bit more difficult!
My husband has two and only two names that he loves: Sawyer and Sh3pherd. I quite like Sh3pherd too actually but I’m not brave enough to use it as a first name. We are religious but it feels like it could be almost sacrilegious to me if that makes sense?? I think I might be thinking too much about it. We love the nickname “Sh3p” as well. Here are a few names I love that he doesn’t: Jude, Curren, Ansel, Graham, James, Abel, Samuel. We both say we like softer sounding names. I think we should be going with something more classical to match our daughter’s name. Hmm… soft and classic, sounds easy, but we are just so picky! We’ve come down to two final contenders (for this week anyway…ha). The0dore Sh3pherd and Augu$t Ev3rett. We both like them enough to use either of them I think. Augu$t has always been top of our lists, but just not sure we like it as much as we used to anymore. Don’t like any nicknames for it- but not sure we can force it to be the name he is called by forever. Same with The0dore- I love the full name so much and would call baby boy by that exclusively, but he only likes this combo if he’s called Teddy or Sh3p. Neither of us are very fond of Th3o. I would be ok with using the full name and primarily calling him Sh3p, but I feel like we already did the middle name nickname thing with one kid and it would be confusing to do it again. Or would it??
We would love love love advice! We are also not closed to suggestions though I’m pretty sure we have combed through every name in the universe by now. But I am all about seeing something in a new light if there’s something that hits you like a bolt that you think would work here!
Thank you thank you thank you and I promise to update once a decision has been made.
Oh, I FULLY agree: the secondary problem is applying the name hobby to an actual child, and the PRIMARY problem FOR SURE is having to cooperate on the name with another entire human—sometimes a human who has not put in ANYWHERE NEAR the years of time and effort. Well, and also: having to work with the particular surname. All of these things factor in. It’s a wonder any of us manage to choose a name at all, but PARTICULARLY those of us who CARE about names! My mother-in-law, whose baby-naming technique was to use for each baby the first name that came to her mind, plus a middle name that made a pleasant mild bridge between first and last, was probably overall a happier and more content baby-namer than those of us who struggle. (Nevertheless I firmly believe our way is superior.)
I grew up very religious, so I will weigh in on the Sh3pherd issue with my one data point. I would say that on its own, or with a sibling name such as Hadley or Morgan, the name Sh3pherd does not make me think of anything religious: it feels like a surname/occupational name, and I too love the nickname Sh3p. But: as soon as the name is combined with the name of any other cast member from a Nativity play, I’m afraid the association is rather strong for me. M@ry and Sh3pherd doesn’t sound so much sacrilegious as imbalanced: why is one child a lead, and the other generic supporting cast? Even combined with Gr@ce, Sh3pherd gives me the feeling of a THEME, though perhaps only when I’m primed by thinking of M@ry and Sh3pherd first. I do think it’s fine as a middle name.
While I am dishing out opinions, I will say that I think once you’ve done one “kid going primarily by middle name,” it’s easier to do a second one: you’ve already gone through the training process with your entire extended circle, and now they are familiar with the concept. But “kid going by nickname of middle name” feels a little harder to sell: at that point, I start to wonder if the name shouldn’t be sent back for more workshopping.
You don’t have another classic/traditional honor name you’d like to use, similar to M@ry? A dear Thomas or Peter or Stephen in the family tree? And then perhaps with a classic-yet-contemporary one-syllable-and/or-low-nickname-possibility middle name, which you’d call him? I’m wondering if leaning into a more fully parallel name would help here.
Andrew George Mouslie-with-an-H; M@ry Gr@ce and Andrew George; Gr@ce and George
James Louis Mouslie-with-an-H; M@ry Gr@ce and James Louis; Gr@ce and Louis
John Nolan Mouslie-with-an-H; M@ry Gr@ce and John Nolan; Gr@ce and Nolan
Paul Emmett Mouslie-with-an-H; M@ry Gr@ce and Paul Emmett; Gr@ce and Emmett
Simon Henry Mouslie-with-an-H; M@ry Gr@ce and Simon Henry; Gr@ce and Henry
Stephen Miles Mouslie-with-an-H; M@ry Gr@ce and Stephen Miles; Gr@ce and Miles
Thomas Elliot Mouslie-with-an-H; M@ry Gr@ce and Thomas Elliot; Gr@ce and Elliot
Or of course I would suggest any of those middles as firsts instead, if you don’t have (or decide not to use) another honor first-name. I’m going to go ahead and put them in their own list:
Elliot
Emmett
George
Henry
Louis
Miles
Nolan
Paul in particular stands out to me. Soft but solid/strong, classic, warm. Paul Mouslie-with-an-H; Gr@ce and Paul. Paul Sh3pherd, Paul Ev3rett.
I agree that it can be risky to use names if you dislike the nicknames. It’s definitely easier to go by the full name than it used to be, but it’s impossible to know what the child themselves will prefer. I don’t know if it helps, but we’ve had a number of commenters mention that they were very opposed to a nickname until their child started going by that nickname, at which point they did a complete 180 on the issue and can hardly remember what they didn’t like about the nickname. On the other hand, I had a co-worker Liz whose parents had wanted her to be Elizabeth/Beth and truly disliked the nickname Liz, and it had been ten years since the nickname change and Liz said her parents still weren’t happy about it. So I suppose it depends on the particular parents/child/nickname, and I suppose most of the time it’s not knowable in advance.
I think an Augu$t might end up going by Gus, and so it would be good to contemplate ahead of time how you feel about Gr@ce and Gus; it’s a lot of one-syllable G- and S-sounds.
I like Ev3rett as a first name here. It goes nicely with M@ry, M@ry Gr@ce, and Gr@ce.
I am not religious at all so I’m not sure that my opinion on the Gr@ce and Shepherd issue would be helpful so I think I will bypass saying anything about it. However, I do think since you already have one child who goes by their middle name it would be fine to do it with a second child since it’s already an established thing in your family.
If your husband likes Sawyer and Shepherd the most then how about…
Mercer
Calder
Spencer
Jasper
Fletcher
Archer
Some other soft yet strong boys names:
Jonah
Isaac
Ezra
Nathaniel
Nolan
Morgan
Jude
Avery
Davis
Bennett
Elliott
Truett
Everett is already on your list and is so handsome!
Love Swistle’s suggestion of a classic first name like John, Peter, James, Thomas etc paired with one of the above names as a middle and calling him by his middle similar to his big sister’s name
You are brave enough – use Sh3pherd in the first name spot! Alternatively use Ted. Ted Sh3pherd. NN Sh3p or Teddy .
The0dore – yes, people may use The0.
Augu$t- Gus and Gr@ce is too much or too cat.
Getting to Teddy by way of The0dore or Edward is risky. Lengthening Ted to Teddy is reasonable.
I like the parity of M@ry and Ted / Gr@ce and Sh3p. It seems odd to me, but Ted as a given name is actually outside the top 1000. I get antsy with names outside the top 1000 because they seem too unusual or too searchable. In the case of Ted, that doesn’t seem applicable.
My nephew is John Sh3pherd, goes by Sh3p! I was a little thrown off when he was born but now he’s 5 and I often forget that his name is actually John (to the point where, at Christmas, I was confused by a package addressed to “JST”). We’ll see how he feels about the middle-name-as-name when he goes to kindergarten next year. His family is fairly religious (and chose this particular name because of it), but his older sister’s name has no religious connotations.
Great question. To me it sounds like you and your husband both like Shepherd quite a bit, but want to be reassured that it’s usable. I would say yes!
I would consider myself a religious person, I think Grace and Shepherd have a similar feel about them: part of a Christian lexicon of words, but both stand alone names. If I met a Grace and Shep, I would not necessarily assume that they were from a religious family.
For what it’s worth, I don’t think Shepherd seems blasphemous at all. Maybe this is because I know children named Jesus and Cristo (not the same family,) and to me the name Shepherd is not as direct as those name are.
I also love August quite a bit, and I know a little August, who always goes by his full name. I do notice that Grace and August have some repeating sounds in them, and they both can be Noun Names, which might make you feel pressure to continue the theme if you were to have more children.
I think you have some great choices here!
I like Theodore Sh3pherd for you. I think it’s a lot more common for kids to go by their full names than it used to be, so I think if you introduce him as Theodore people will use it. What he decides later is another question, of course, but that’s true with any name. Or you could do the call him by his middle name thing again and call him Shep or Sh3pherd.
I also like Augu$t Ever3tt and I think Grace and Gus is really cute. Probably only if you’re not planning on more kids, though, because it’s the kind of pattern that could seem limiting but hard to stop.
Do you like Charles? It’s classic and I like the sibset Grace and Charlie. Charles Sh3pherd is nice.
It’s very common to have a different style for boys and girls’ names, so I don’t think it’s a problem to have a Mary Grace and a more adventurous name for a boy.
I do love the symetry of both children going by their middles, but you don’t need any more similarities if you don’t want them.
I like:
Everett Shepherd
August Sawyer
Adam Shepherd
Luke Sawyer
Shepherd Martin
Shepherd Oliver
I think my favorite is Shepherd as a first with a more secular name as a middle name.
I know of someone whose first name is Shepherd. As an adult he goes by Shep, no idea if that was true in his younger years.
As to a possible imbalance between M@ry Gr@ce and Sh3pherd, if your faith tradition views Jesus as the Good Shepherd, the two names are nicely balanced.
I like Sh3pherd in the middle spot, but used as the primary name. To my ear, Sh3pherd John sounds like Farmer Bob or Ranger Steve — more Title/Occupation followed by Name than two separate names (the reverse may be true for others).
With that in mind, I like:
Austin Sh3pherd — initials would be ASH, which could be an additional nickname to Sh3p.
John Sh3pherd — I like classic John paired with M@ry: John Sh3pherd and M@ry Gr@ce.
William Sh3pherd
Best wishes to you!
I think Grace and Shepherd are common enough names that they lose the association of VERY CHRISTIAN, but perhaps they are only common enough names where I live? (Bible belt). The Graces and Shepherds I know are in christian lite or non christian homes, but that could be a local thing for me.
Being from the South I am also VERY familiar with using your middle name as your call name, and I have anecdotes for that too. My Dad, Sister, Husband and SIL all go by some or parts of their middle names. My husband goes by his middle, my dad goes by a nickname of his middle. It seems far less problematic to be male and use this naming technique, probably because of the male tradition of juniors. My husband and Dad have had no issues. My sister is named something like Rebekah Millicent Smith. She goes by Millie. she works for a hospital where they do the standard rsmi@hospital for emails and intra hospital messaging and it’s been very frustrating for her when people are trying to look up her name (Millie) and not finding R Smith in the messaging system or looking up Rebecca not realizing her name is spelled Rebekah.
Just my two cents. I think the name you like would all work and not be a problem for him in real life.
For what it’s worth, I have two little boys (and a dog but he’s beside the point) called Ted/Teddy in my life. One is an Edward, one is a Theodore. Neither of them are EVER called their full names or the wrong nickname. If they’re introduced at school as Ted or Teddy then I think the chances of a rogue nickname are actually pretty slim unless the individual child chooses to switch nicknames.
Although I do have a Nathaniel (Nat) and he gets ‘Nate’ more than I would like. Exclusively from adults though, kids take his name totally at face value and never make that mistake.
My son goes to a Christian Pre-K and has a Shepherd in his class. I don’t think it’s sacrilogious at all, but with a sister named Mary, my mind would definitely think you were going for a Christmas theme!
I also grew up very religious, and do not associate Shepard with a religious name. in the church I grew up in, you showed how religious you were by choosing a name from the Bible (especially the Old Testament). Shepard would not have counted as a Biblical name.
I work with some people who have always gone by their middle names, and they have said they wish their parents just name them that. The computer system we use displays your first name and it’s difficult to change it. Going by your middle name causes a lot of confusion.
I will also recuse myself from the religious commentary. I can comment on choosing names with obvious nicknames. It’s backfired at least three times in my larger family/friend group, with the child standing firm on a non-preferred nickname once they hit tweenhood. So I’d avoid Theodore, who I would bet is generally called Theo 80% of the time (I can attest to that happening with the many Theodores I know.)
I think that given your husband loves Sh3p and you’re already doing the middle name as everyday name thing, you should choose a name off your list for the first spot and call it a day. I LOVE J@m3s Sh3ph3rd as a brother to M@ry Gr@ce. It still allows for any future children to go a few ways name-wise (middle names as given with classic names up front; one-syllable every-day names; noun names in the middle, etc.) And I just plain adore the name Sh3ph3rd.
Re coworker Liz— I was given the name Elizabeth because my parents LIKED the nickname Liz… but I HATE it (for myself, not generally) and have never used it. Ha!
I don’t live in the US and my country has a different religious context so take this with a grain of salt. To my ear the name Shepherd says Christian, certainly American, probably Baptist. (all positive associations BTW!). Similar name vibes would be Deacon, Christian or Bishop.
Sawyer and Spencer feel similar without the religion. Saying that I have four with clear Biblical names from my tradition and no regrets so if you want to lean in – why not?
Middle names done once can be done twice. You are locking yourself in for future children however. How does that feel?
I love Paul and Peter so much. Also John, I think it’s the softest of soft, classic names. Mary Grace and John Shepherd or John Sawyer, amazing!
I know a little Shepherd (Shep), it’s a great name! The parents are religious, they also have a girl with a secular name. To me, Grace and Shepherd have mild Christian connotations but not overly so. When meeting a Grace or Shep I wouldn‘t wonder about the parent‘s religiosity, not even if it’s a sib set. If you both like the name, I’d say go for it!
It feels very logical to call a child by a middle name if his sibling also goes by a middle name. If I were him and someone asked me why my parents call me by my middle name, I could say that it’s just what we do in my family and the conversation would end there. I also don’t see anything wrong with calling a child by a nickname of their middle name.
I like Theo— I did not like Theo until I encountered a fictional character with that name who became a favorite. If you like Theodore but are worried about not liking Theo if he chooses to go by that, you could try that strategy, as people sometimes do to try and get their partner to like a name/drop an association.
Names I feel fit into the ‘soft classic’ category:
Oliver. Oliver Shepherd ‘Shep’ Mouslie
Henry. Henry Shepherd ‘Shep’ Mouslie
Elias. Elias Shepherd ‘Shep’ Mouslie
Noah. Noah Shepherd ‘Shep’ Mouslie (too animal themed?)
Willam. Willam Shepherd ‘Shep’ Mouslie
I remembered the names Isaiah and Isaac.
Isaiah Shepherd Mouslie.
Isaac Shepherd Mouslie.
Mary Grace and Isaiah Shepherd. Mary Grace and Isaac Shepherd.
Reading your letter I came away with a soft classic feel. A few ideas to consider:
Michael Shepherd Mouslie
Vincent Theodore Mouslie
Daniel Leo Mouslie
Nathan Charles Mouslie
I think Shepherd would work fine as a first name, as well.
Keep us posted to what you decide.
Perspective from a religious person… I love (Mary) Grace and Shepherd together. I didn’t think of a nativity scene at all until I read that connection in Swistle’s response. I DID think of the Good Shepherd and thought it was a tasteful allusion. I think it’s a lovely sibling pair that speaks to values you hope to share with your kids, and also just a very nice pair of names that doesn’t sound off-putting or strange outside of a faith circle either.
(Presuming you mean religious Christian) I’m in the actual choir & Shepherd doesn’t sound the least be sacrilegious to me. It’s simply a job & fairly common surname. I don’t know I’d connect Mary & Shepherd, much less Grace & Shep with the New Testament stories unless I was actually thinking about it.
I used to have an elderly neighbor who named her kids Daniel (nn Danny) & Frances. She did _not_ want Frances to be called Franny because of the rhyme. When Frances began school, she started going by Franny, much to her mother’s chagrin. Another neighbor goes by the nickname of his middle name. He’s a junior but his dad goes by the same nickname, lol.
What about:
Seth
Daniel
Nathanial
Nathan
Joshua
I don’t even think Sh3pherd is that out there – it’s rising very quickly and is now in the top 500 – not super common, but certainly familiar. I would guess it will continue to rise into at least the top 200 or so, whatever that means to you – hopefully reassuring since your alternatives are ~top 100!
I’m also Christian, and the allusion to Jesus doesn’t bother me at all. English speaking culture has reservations around his actual name, but many other cultures consider it equally respectful to *use* it as a baby name – so I don’t feel like there’s an inherent increased reverence to extending that taboo to every other title of Christ. Sh3pherd as a Nativity role didn’t even cross my mind until Swistle pointed it out.
I do think something like Th3odore Sh3pherd is a bit different than M@ry Gr@ce. I’m guessing that you treat M@ry Gr@ce as a double name, so it’s full name M@ry Gr@ce, nn Gr@ce? That makes total sense to me. But Th3odore Sh3pherd is a lot for a double name, and Th3odore nn Sh3p is much more confusing. Plenty of people do go by their middles, but it’s enough of a paperwork hassle that I wouldn’t do it to a child without a very good explanation – and a double name gives that explanation. Sh3pherd is not “weird” enough to be worth that hassle for that reason alone – and if he’s going to be called by that name anyway… putting it in the middle doesn’t even remove that “burden.”
Something like James Sh3pherd or Jude Sh3pherd could be more double-name-y, if you want to go that direction again, but barring that, I would either just go with Sh3pherd or not. I don’t think putting it in the middle helps anything except for maybe allowing you and your husband to each use the call name you prefer. If you want to call him Jude while your husband calls him Sh3p… I’m all on board for that! Sh3p feels like the kind of pet name that could be used regardless of given name, anyway.