Hello Swistle!
When naming my first, your way of thinking about baby naming was so helpful! Yet here I am with baby girl #2 due in April, and I’m totally stuck.
Our last name is Jenny. It’s Swiss. So that’s cool. It’s also impossibly hard to name for.
For our first, we went with Ryan. We loved how Ryan balanced the femininity of our last name and was on the more unique side of girls’ names without being too obscure. My family heritage is Irish, so I liked that connection too.
For this next one, we have a few challenges:
1. We want something that fits with Ryan, so we can’t go too feminine, which wouldn’t work great with Jenny anyway. But I do worry about another “unisex” name. Will people think they’re both boys? They’d figure it out, but still, it feels like it’d be too much of the same.
2. We aren’t actually that adventurous with names; even though Ryan is less popular for girls (like in the 400s?), it’s still a very familiar name.
3. Both my husband and I have names that start with “Al” so A names are vetoed. Also avoid -y ending sounds if possible, to avoid a sing-song name (Jenny as a last name is silly enough).
Names I like (he doesn’t love):
– Margot (husband thinks it’s an old lady name)
– Mara
– Emory (nn Emmie)
– NoaNames he likes (I don’t love):
– Laila
– Maya
– Emma (feels too popular for me)
– TatumNo names are vetoed just yet. But we just aren’t on the same page! Is there any middle ground between our two styles? Perhaps neutral girl names that fall slightly more feminine?
I appreciate your help!
I had two immediate reactions: first “Oh, Jenny is a DARLING surname!!” followed two seconds later by “Oh I see what you mean.” It’s charming and challenging. I don’t think there’s any need to balance the femininity of it (she says, far too late to be of any use): I’m trying and failing to imagine someone with the surname James or Henry saying they had to give their sons feminine names to balance the masculinity of the surname.
I think if you go with another unisex-leaning-heavily-boy name for a second daughter, that yes, some people will assume at first they’re both boys. But if you go for a a name that is NOT unisex-leaning-heavily-boy, then people will be CERTAIN that only Ryan is a boy, and in my opinion that would be much worse. If you have, say, Ryan and Elliott, people may first guess boys, but will quickly and easily understand that you liked unisex/boyish names for girls; if you have, say, Ryan and Margot, people are not going to understand what happened with the naming style. Which is fine! They don’t have to understand! there’s no rule about coordinating names! and, as you say, they WILL figure it out! Don’t choose a name you don’t like just to make things coordinate! But if my name were Ryan in this situation, I would prefer the “my sister and I both have unisex/boyish names” scenario to the “people keep thinking I’m a boy but they never think that about my sister” scenario.
And so from your lists, my favorites are Emory, Noa, Tatum. Emory is unisex leaning girl, but still makes sense to me with Ryan; the spelling Noa leans heavily girl but the familiarity/popularity of Noah helps it seem more boy; Tatum is roughly evenly split in usage. I would absolutely not choose Emma here: not only has it been in the Top Three Girl Names in the U.S. for over two decades now according to the Social Security Administration, it’s used exclusively for girls. Margot, Mara, Laila, and Maya—also used exclusively for girls.
Let’s see if we can find more options to consider. Normally with a surname that seems like a first name, I might steer away from names that seemed like surnames; in this particular case, I doubt there is even the smallest chance of avoiding that particular confusion no matter WHAT first name we choose (even Jennifer Jenny would be unclear), so I am not even going to bother trying; also, many unisex names are surname names, including Ryan, so I’m just going to lean into it.
I used Elliott as my example name, and that’s one of my top suggestions. It’s unisex leaning boy, but familiar for girls, as Ryan is. And I think it’s fun to say with your surname. Elliott Jenny; Ryan and Elliott.
Callan. Unisex leaning heavily boy, but I have personally encountered a little girl with that name and it seemed perfectly appropriate on her. Nicknames Callie and Cal if she wants either of them: Callie to go more feminine; Cal to really lean into the cool. Callan Jenny; Ryan and Callan.
Ellis. Unisex leaning boy, but with the familiar El- of many girl names, and Ellie as an available nickname. Ellis Jenny; Ryan and Ellis.
Kellen. Unisex leaning heavily boy, but with Ellen right in there it doesn’t seem surprising as a girl name. Kellen Jenny; Ryan and Kellen.
Morgan. Unisex leaning girl, but I recently encountered a little boy with the name. A little bit similar to Margot and Mara and Emory. Morgan Jenny; Ryan and Morgan.
Teagan. Unisex leaning girl, but I’m drawn to this -gan ending and I think it’s cute with the surname. The G also makes it less of a repeated ending with Ryan: it turns it into -yan and -gan instead of both -an. Teagan Jenny; Ryan and Teagan.
Logan. Unisex leaning heavily boy, but not so heavily as to make it surprising on a girl. Logan Jenny; Ryan and Logan.
Beckett. Unisex leaning heavily boy, but with Becky and Bex and even Etta as available nicknames. Fun to say with the surname. Beckett Jenny; Ryan and Beckett.
Campbell. Evenly split in usage. Cammie and Cam and even Bella as available nicknames. Campbell Jenny; Ryan and Campbell.
Cameron. Fairly evenly split when considering all spellings, but this spelling leans pretty heavily boy. Cammie and Cam and even Ronnie as available nicknames. Cameron Jenny; Ryan and Cameron.
Gracen. This spelling is unusual and fairly evenly split in usage; however, the much more common Grayson/Greyson are used almost exclusively for boys. Gracen Jenny; Ryan and Gracen.
Hollis. Unisex leaning boy, but with the available nickname Holly. Hollis Jenny; Ryan and Hollis.
Keaton. Unisex leaning heavily boy, but I feel like Diane Keaton gives it a familiar feminine sound. Also, my mom has a childhood friend who goes by Keatsie, which is adorable and fun to say. Keaton Jenny; Ryan and Keaton.
Miller. Unisex leaning boy, but with the available nickname Millie/Milly. Miller Jenny; Ryan and Miller.
Sawyer. Unisex leaning boy. Sawyer Jenny; Ryan and Sawyer.
Spencer. Unisex leaning boy. Spencer Jenny; Ryan and Spencer.
Mason. Unisex leaning heavily boy, but my kids went to school with a girl Mason so it feels normal to me. Available nicknames May and Macy and Maisy. Mason Jenny; Ryan and Mason.
Parker. Unisex leaning boy, but familiar for girls. Parker Jenny; Ryan and Parker.
Drew? Or Kadin (and any of the various spellings)?
Quinn! I love how Ryan and Quinn are both unisex and have Irish roots.
I like the idea of a female-leaning unisex name. The following would be good!
Peyton
Blake
Quinn
Taylor
Emerson
Harper
Finley
Bailey
Skylar
Colby
Devin
Blaire
Darcy
Lane
Sidney
Leighton
Marley
Reese
Shea
Darby
Hayden
Sasha
I like Reese as a sister name for Ryan– cute but not too similar. if they’re okay with being the ‘A and R family,’ that is. (Though how many people, aside from us, really notice that sort of thing?)
Liam Jenny. Ryan and Liam.
Parker Jenny. Ryan and Parker.
Harper Jenny. Ryan and Harper.
Cleo Jenny. Ryan and Cleo.
Sloane Jenny. Ryan and Sloane.
I agree that there was no need to pick boyish names to balance the feminine surname. Just look at these options:
Winifred Jenny
Caroline Jenny
Harriet Jenny
Annabelle Jenny
Marigold Jenny
Adelaide Jenny
Oh Ellis!
Ellis has been on our girl name list for years; then husbands cousin had a boy and named him Ellis!
Ryan & Ellis would be so cute.
I liked several of Swistle’s suggestions, especially Callan, Parker, and Ellis as sister names for Ryan. I do want to note, just because Ellis is on my own list, that I’ve heard Ellis-girls say that they get called Alice, Elsie, Alease… I’m not sure it would be as bad with a boy getting called Elias.
I’d also like to nominate Everett. I like the shared R sound with Ryan.
Have you thought at all about nature names? So many are gender neutral, ‘lean girl.’ I have a name crush right now on Sky, spelled like that. And I’d love to use Ocean as a middle.
Is there another way to spell Sky?
It is more often spelled Skye (754 new baby girls named Skye in 2022, another 392 named Sky).
Blair feels perfect to me here. Also love the suggestion of Quinn.
Rowan?
If the suggestions above, I think I like Reese the best. Something about having somewhat matchy names, without the thing about them that matches being that they are almost exclusively used for boys, seems like it helps pull you back out of adventurous namer territory for me. Rowan is similar in that way.
Rowan is great! I agree with the above commenter, I kind of like the symmetry of the Rs.
I also like Logan, Ellis, Morgan, Shea, and Cameron as options.
I agree Emory, Noa, Tatum seem to fit your criteria the best.
From Swistle’s suggestions I like Logan and Morgan best, followed by Parker and Teagan.
Glancing at the commenters’ suggestions, I like Bailey, Blair, Blake, Colby, Quinn, Reese, Skylar, and Taylor for you.
How about Jordan or Sage?
Love so many of these suggestions, especially Campbell and Cameron. What about Luca? It’s a boy name that has a feminine-ish sound and does get used for girls too. Sounds good with the surname!
I thought of Marlowe (alternative spellings: Marlow, Marlo), similar in sound to Margot, but more modern sounding and not as feminine. The first Marlowe I met was a man, so in my head it is gender neutral, although I assume it leans heavily towards girls.
In another life I absolutely would have named my daughter either Keaton or Callahan, if either of those appeal. If she’d been a boy, I would have named her Everett, and I have tiny amounts of wistfulness that I ruled that out for her as a girl (though, Everett is the name du jour for little boys in my city right now, so maybe it was good I didn’t). Reed/Reid is another great option, if you’re ok with another R name. Seconding the suggestion of Quinn!
Certainly not a deal breaker, and it might be only the over 50 crowd that notice. But Ryan and Tatum together make me think O’Neal, the father / daughter actors.
Honestly, I don’t see the need for a unisex name.
Under-50 here and yep, totally agree
I agree with Swistle that if I were Ryan, I’d want my sister to have a unisex name, too.
We have a Channing and absolutely love her name. We get a lot of positive reactions and feedback.
I also love Blair, Rory and Reese for you.
Lots of great suggestions.
My sister had all of your preferred names on her list for a girl ( Mara, Emory and Margot) and eventually named her daughter Marla.
I also want to point out the idea of another commenter: nature names! They are mostly unisex. How about River ? River and Ryan sound so good together. Willow? Eden? Juniper? Hayden?
The first name that came to my mind was actually Wyatt.
The second name, though it might be too adventurous for you, was Emerald. It has a masculine sound but a feminine association. It combines many of your husband and your favourite name- sounds ( like Mara, Emma and Emory) and has great nickname potential. Emmi, Emma, Esme, Mera, Mara, Essie, Ellie, Ally…
Also I think a one or three syllable name would balance out your surname very well.
Quinn Jenny; Ryan and Quinn
Robin Jenny; Ryan and Robin
Reese Jenny; Ryan and Reese
Morgan Jenny; Ryan and Morgan
Blair Jenny; Ryan and Blair
Sage Jenny; Ryan and Sage
Avery Jenny; Ryan and Avery
Cameron Jenny; Ryan and Cameron
Emerson Jenny; Ryan and Emerson
Parker Jenny; Ryan and Parker
Drew Jenny; Ryan and Drew
I was going to suggest Campbell even if it hadn’t been on Swistle’s list of suggestions – but then having read the list I LOVE the idea of Beckett!! Not usually a favourite for me, but the thought of sisters being introduced as Ryan and Beckett Jenny just makes my heart flutter. Beckett, Beckett, Beckett!!
So many great suggestions!!
I noticed you and your husband like names that start with M or m sounds, so you might consider:
Maeve — not unisex, but a Gaelic match with Ryan
Maike — a Germanic form of Maria pronounced MY kuh
Maren or Merryn
Maris
Merritt or Marit
Micah — more traditional (and intuitive) than Maike above
Morgan — I know of real-life sisters Rhian and Morgan
Best wishes to you!
Love the idea of Quinn for its Irish ☘️ sound heritage and its gender neutrality. Ryan and Quinn. Quinn Jenny is an amazing nane!! Ooh I love it!!
I also looooove Ellis. Ellis Jenny. GREAT!
Beckett is another awesome choice. Ryan and Beckett. Swistle mentioned the nn of Becks, Bex, Becky, all are cute. Beckett Jenny.
And I wouldn’t worry about your last name sounding “silly” . As Swistle pointed out, we have a million last names that are boys names. That’s literally how naming began, and why “mac” and “O” and “van” all mean “son of”. Last names like Phillip, Matthew, Thomas, Richard, Grant. In fact, I think more and more women’s names should be used as last names!
Ooh, how about Lachlan? It’s SO pretty, Irish, and gels perfectly with Ryan. Ryan and Lachlan. Sisters!! I’d be delighted if I met this sibset!! This might be my favourite.
Teddy
Love Teagan, great combo with Ryan and awesome with Jenny.
I find men love the name Layla, and I love it too. Layla Jenny sounds like a character in a movie. I emwiuld totally use it!!
I knew a Micah growing up who was a girl. Ryan and Micah. Micah Jenny. Ooh, liking that!!
My husband named his girl Lawrence and they’re calling her Wren! Or you can nn Laurie from Laurence. Or Lolo, Lo. Laurence Jenny sounds dashing!! Wren Jenny sounds weird though, I’m not gonna lie.
Sascha is one of those that goes both ways but in many culture it’s used for boys. Sasha Jenny. God I love it. Ryan and Sasha. Eee, I likey!!
Mischa (sp??) is a gorgeous traditionally boy’s name but I LOVE it as a girl’s and Mischa Jenny is like…. Chef’s kiss!!
My heritage is Irish so I don’t know why more Irish names aren’t popping into my head…
Oh, this is a last name in my family and I wish I had used it but it’s a “name outlier” for me (my girls got dusty great aunt names) but: Sloane. I mean. It’s amazing with Ryan. Ryan and Sloane. Sloane Jenny. She sounds like the girl in class that everyone wants to sit next to. I love.
Your last name is great, look how much fun we’re having with it lol.
Hahaha I meant to say my husband’s CO-WORKER named his girl Lawrence.
Not that it was impossible as a sentence, but I just wanted to clarify. 🤦♀️
My sister has two girls, one with a top 100 girl only name and the other with a rare gender neutral name (leans slightly girl) and it causes more confusion than you’d think. I think you have to pick a neutral, even boy leaning name.
I know a girl Beckett and it’s very cute. I love Campbell too.
Wow, so many great suggestions on this thread!
I love:
Avery
Quinn
Rory
Morgan
Blair
Teagan
Ellis
Dylan (like Ryan this name feels more masculine than true gender neutral)
Quinn
Reagan
Sloane
Morgan
Shae
Blake (leans a bit more masculine I think)
Briar
Taylor
Drew
Rowan
Elliott
Shannon
Emerson
Eden
Campbell
Ends in Y but still sounds nice with surname:
Mackenzie
Delaney
Kennedy
Casey
Blair* not Briar
I don’t think it has to be particularly gender-neutral unless you want that–there aren’t that many times that people will not know your kids’ sexes AND they are being introduced as a pair AND you care that the person knows your kids are both girls. For those rare occasions, it’s easy to get around with “I have two daughters, Ryan and ____.” So don’t let that exclude names you and your husband like!
The names that sprang to my mind were Colleen and Vera.
Or what if you did Margo without the t–does your husband still think that’s too old lady?
Others that might fit the bill from the SSA top names:
Harper
Hazel
Maeve
Morgan
Harlow
Paige
River
Sage
Blair
Maren
I think Noa is perfect! Also love Teagan.
I don’t understand the need to pick a boyish name to make the girl name more balanced? I guess I could sort of see why you would want to choose a very masculine name for a boy, but what’s the problem with a girl having a feminine first name and a feminine last name? Just puzzled! But oh well, no matter now! Jenny is a really fun last name, actually! I think it sounds great with longer three syllable names like Elinor Jenny, Isabelle Jenny, etc.
Anyway, totally agree with Swistle that you don’t want to go with a feminine name like Emma or Margot. I would not be pleased if I were Ryan in that situation. Ryan must have been a very very common boy name for my generation, because I know literally like 15 Ryans my age. There are three dad Ryans in our friend group, ha. So to me it reads all boy, and I would be looking for something in a similar vein. Like more boy than unisex, even. I think Tatum is my favorite. Although someone else pointed out the celebrity connection, which is maybe why those names stuck together well in my head, haha.
Cameron is cute—I know a brother sibset with those names and think they sound great together.
Ryan and Cameron Jenny
Ryan and Elliot Jenny
Ryan and Blake Jenny
Those are my favorites! Good luck!
I know a sibling set named Quinn, Riley and Tyler. Quinn is a boy and Riley and Tyler are girls.
I feel like ANY of those 3 names would work well with Ryan (I personally love Quinn as a sibling name)
I know a family with a Tyler, Quinn, and Riley too, but the genders are different than what you listed, ha! Weird coincidence
I don’t see the need for a unisex name and that trend can be changed NOW if you don’t like it. After baby 2, I think it will cement the style.
So Fourth Wing is on the best seller list. It has a ton of unisex name options. Here are a few I like with Ryan Jenny.
Brennan Jenny. Ryan and Brennan.
Sloan Jenny. Ryan and Sloane. (To E or not to E, that is the question.)
Sawyer Jenny. Ryan and Sawyer (both have Y’s!)
Tairn Jenny. Ryan and Tairn. I get a bit tongue tied.
Given that Mara and Maya are close, I’d try to rift on this to see if there is something you could both agree on… Mira, Amara, Marion, Merritt, Alma.
I thought I liked Hollis the best from Swistle’s list but now I have to say Parker, Parker Jenny? Adorable and Parker and Ryan! Super cute! Good luck!
Omg Parker Jenny sounds awesome!! Ryan and Parker – GREAT.
I have to say, I don’t usually go for names like this – I’m a dusty old lady name nerd usually – but it’s so much fun!! Maybe Swistle will let us do a “name 10 daughters with traditionally boy names”. It would be so fun!
I had friends growing up that were a trio of daughters – Ryan, Tyler and Rae. I love how all of those sound with Jenny!
I really really want you to use Rory! Ryan and Rory?!
I grew up with a set of twins who the Mum and Dad were hippies and didn’t go to any ultrasounds (if they did ultrasounds in the early 80s), so the parents didn’t know they were having twins. And they really thought it was going to be a boy, so it was supposed to be named after the twins’ passed away uncle, Barry. When she went into labour, at home, they were completely surprised to have another baby following the first!! And girls!! So they picked another Uncle’s name, and they became R0ry and Berr!e (meant to make it feel more feminine). The sisters could not look more different – they don’t even look like they’re from the same family. Anyway, I LOVED the story, as a mini me name nerd already (I used my babysitting money to buy a baby naming book at the local bookstore that I still have (among others)).
When I saw it used on Gilmore Girls as a nn for Lorelai I was super charmed, but I thought: that family did it first. ;)
So that’s all to say that Ryan and Rory are darling together. And I don’t think that Rory Jenny is too much. My last name ends in “y” so I get it. But both of my daughters end up being called by their nn a lot, which end in “y” and “ie”. And my niece is @bby Mylastnamey and it doesn’t seem to both her either. She’s not Abigail, either, her legal name is @bby.
I see Emory on your list and Emma on your husband’s, and feels like there is some overlap there. I think someone already mentioned Emerson, but what about Emmett? Both names have a neutral leaning masculine feel to me, like Ryan, but you could get the nickname Emmie from both.
Emerson Jenny, Ryan and Emmie
Emmett Jenny, Ryan and Emmie
I really like the suggestions here, both from Swistle and the community, but I haven’t seen my favorite unisex names listed yet:
– Glen or Glenn
– Dale
– Noel
– Corey
– Dana
– Rudy
Sloane, Sutton, Sinclair, Kieran, Kincaide, Shiloh, Allistair
Bronwyn
Gemma
Fiona
I just had to suggest Marlo/Marlow/Marlowe. Gives similar sounds to Margot but more gender neutral.
Thank you everyone! I was so excited to see my question answered and there are such great ideas here. To reply to a few comments, with our first we didn’t feel we HAD to have a more masculine name to balance Jenny, but we liked that Ryan did. It felt spunky and unique, which is exactly like my daughter… she was very, very active in the womb even, so a spunky name felt right. Cant wait to bring some of these to my husband and see what he thinks!!
Leighton
Kit
Monroe
Sutton