Dear Swistle,
We are expecting our third and final baby at the beginning of May. A baby boy! My husband granted me final naming rights for this baby early on in our Secondary Infertility journey, which involved multiple cycles over three years using donor embryos to get where we are now. But I would much prefer to find a name we both love.
We each have a favorite name that we can’t get past. Every other name feels like a second best by comparison. So we are currently attempting to utilize the “pretend those names don’t exist” technique to find a new (and mutual) favorite. It’s not going well because the few we agree on seem too popular for our comfort.
For background, we have a son named Gray and a daughter named Juneau (but spelled like the movie/Roman goddess, not the city). Our last name sounds like Lawpin. I would say the 4-letter version of Juneau is most in line with our ideal naming style. Short rather than a longer name with a nickname, quirky and fun, not commonly heard of. We ideally don’t want to repeat any of our first initials. This baby will have the middle name Joseph in honor of our embryo donors.
My favorites:
1. Cary- In my mind, this is his name. Husband likes but thinks of it as a girl’s name since Carrie was so popular among our female peers born in the 1970s.2. Zeke or Enzo- Both so fun & spunky, similar to the vibe of our daughter’s name. Husband vetoed as “too hipster.”
3. Tadhg- Husband vetoed as too confusing to say & spell. I agree, but still love it.
4. Atlas- He finds it pretentious.
Husband’s favorites:
1. Raif- Husband is dead set on this name. That’s his entire list! I like it okay, but don’t love at all. Also, I misheard it as “r@pe” once & now cannot unhear it. That is pretty much a deal breaker to me.Names we both like equally, but just don’t feel quite right: Beau, Felix, Hoyt, Hayes, Hugo, Rhett, Rhys, Soren, Zev.
Names we would consider as new, mutual favorites but think are too commonly used:
1.Theo- Perfect in every way except it’s so popular, especially factoring all the Theodores who are almost all called Theo these days.2. Reid- A solid choice in the top 300 with no real drawbacks, and we could learn to love.
Please help us find a name worthy of this much awaited baby boy!
Erica & Michael
The name that jumps out to me is Reid. It’s a compromise name but it’s a GREAT compromise name: “no real drawbacks, and we could learn to love.” It’s four letters like the other two kids’ names, but has its own distinct sound. You’ve got it under Too Common, but as you’ve noted it’s in the 300s, and that is quite uncommon. It’s about as common as Jensen, Gunner, Prince, Hendrix, and Maximiliano. If we combine it with the spelling Reed, it’s about as common as Alejandro, Dawson, Abel, Tristan, Karter, and King.
I agree that Raif should be out. It’s very, very, very unusual in the U.S.: only 9 new baby boys were given the name in 2021, with another 17 given the spelling Raife. In addition to your deal-breaking issue, I notice it forms the words “flaw” and “flop” with your surname, and I think it will be misheard as Ray Floppin. And it shares sounds with Gray in a way that is displeasing to my ear: three-quarters of the name is the same.
I also think Cary should be out—to my surprise, because I would like to see that name come back into style for boys. But it is three-quarters the same letters as Gray, and the G and C are very similar-looking letters, and I find it just BUGS ME. If I answered this again tomorrow, I might dismiss all those concerns as ridiculous; but today, this morning, I don’t like Gray and Cary together, and I am bothered by how similar they look, and I feel that pretty soon both boys would be called Gary.
I like Reid! I think Reid is great with the surname and in this sibling group! Reid Lawpin! Reid Joseph Lawpin! Gray, Juneau, and Reid! I vote learn to love it!
Love Reid! Maybe consider Ezra?
I love Ezra. Husband isn’t sold on it.
Are you thinking about Teague as a more familiar form of Tadgh? Cause maybe you could? It seems like it would go with Gray very well, although less well with the idea that you like names that are light and fun.
Or maybe Titus seems less pretentious to your husband than Atlas. Or Tino is less hipster than Enzo. Or maybe you like Tide as a nature name? Or Tiger? Or Tig?
Or Timothy? Timothy isn’t especially like any of the names on your list, and you say you don’t like longer names with nicknames, but it strikes me as maybe the middle point between all of them?
Oh and also Perry. Less 80s girl than Cary, less shared letters with Gray.
I have always LOVED the name Timothy. Even for a girl, which I know is weird. Lol. It’s a family name though, and unfortunately not a relative worth honoring.
How about one of these:
Arlo
Rhys
Amos
Aldo
Otis
Elio
Remy
Bram
Knox
Nico
Rory
Tate
Leif
Cash
Oren
Boaz
Axel
Ewan
Leon
Clay
Lane
Hart
I thought the same thing Swistle did about Reid when I read your question. It seems like the name that’s closest to pleasing both of you. Also the easier spelling of Teague seems like a good idea.
Or how about Rafael, sometimes called Rafe if you don’t mind a slightly longer name? Or since you’ve had Zeke and Zev on the list, how about Zane?
Came here to suggest Zane as well! A little less hipster than Zeke, fun like Zev, long A sound of Raif, 4 letters and not too popular! Perfect…until I said it along with the other siblings’ names. Juneau, Zane, and Gray… Zane Gray is a famous author! 🤦🏼♀️ Is Zane Gray known enough that others would pick up on this? Even if they did, is it really that big of a deal?
My favorite from your list is Atlas. Since you listed it last I assume you like it least– but if not, ‘sounds pretentious’ is not that bad of an association. If he otherwise liked the sound, and you wanted him to come around to it, finding a movie (or book or show etc) with a down-to-earth Atlas would probably be enough to break the association for him. Just a suggestion.
Hank? Hugh? Heath?
Roscoe? Ogden?
Fraser?
Ajax? Rhys?
I agree with Swistle — Reid is a great name on it’s own and as part of the sib set.
You might also consider:
Alec (682) or Alex (194) — Note: Alexander is #13, so there are likely many more boys who go by Alex, but their legal first name is Alexander.
Brett (923) or Bret (955)
Chase (125) It’s five letters but it’s still short.
Crew (267)
Ford (439)
Remy (357)
Trey (653) — very appropriate for a third child, but maybe too rhyme-y with Gray.
Best wishes to you!
Reid! I don’t think it would be possible to find another name that sounds as great with Gray as Reid does. Hearing then together makes me like both names even more. They aren’t the least bit matchy, but they have a very similar flavor—they’re strong, completely compatible names. If I were you, I wouldn’t have to grow to love the name, I’d be ready to declare it the best possible name, and perfect for the sibset.
What about Owen, Niko, Milo, or Luca? Bowen? Hudson? Reece? Dashell (Dash)? Nash? Troy?
Unless you are Jewish, I wouldn’t use Zev. I’ve only ever heard it in the religious Jewish community, and to use it otherwise might seem odd. Some Hebrew names have totally made it into mainstream naming (Joshua, Joseph, Rebecca, Leah, etc) but Zev isn’t one of them.
We were definitely concerned about Zev feeling like cultural appropriation, since we are not Jewish.
Would you consider Cory? I misread “Cary” as “Cory” when I was reading this post.
Love Reid!
What about Fletcher? Fisher? Beckett? Bowen? Hudson?
Realized I suggested some twice. Oops. Bug thought of some more!
Walter
Dexter
Oswald (Oz) (Ozzy)
Blaise
Campbell
Drake
Colton
Dax
Leo
Perry
Archer
Coleman (or just Cole)
Truman (Tru)
I LOVE love love Reid. Unfortunately my cousin has this name as a 40-something year old so we never used it for my kids. It’s such a handsome name!
I vote for Reid. It means red, and I like the symmetry of the boys having color names.
Unfortunately, I agree on both Cary and Raif being too similar to Gray – that was my very first thought on seeing Cary.
Would you consider Ralph or Rolf (although my first thought with that name is always Sound of Music, which admittedly isn’t the best association) instead of Raif?
Ellis and Wells come to mind as alternatives to Cary – I actually really love Wells with your sibset. Totally different sounds with a similar sleek-yet-spunky feel, low popularity, and high recognizability. Although I tried it with the surname and maybe it turns too easily into Well Slopping… Darn.
I would consider Zeke and Enzo as decidedly *less* hipster than Juneau – in case a random internet stranger’s opinion can somehow change his mind on that. My one hesitation with Enzo would be that another two-syllable o-ending name might be confusing – although I think that having one be a girl name and one a boy name will make it not quite as likely that you’ll be constantly switching their names. but there may be a bit of that.
Would Xavier, Aldo, or Ezra strike a better balance of spunky-but-not-“hipster”?
Simon also comes to mind for you, for no apparent reason.
I pointed this out to my husband, that Juneau is is at least as “hipster” as Zeke and Enzo! I think he’s just more open to quirky names for a girl than for a boy.
I also like Reid, although to me it’s kind of quieter than your other two, but it grows on me the more I say it. And it’s perfect with Gray and Juneau (love these names). My personal fave suggested above is Heath. It has that kick to it that the other names have, unusual and earthy.
Hank
Hugh
Fraser
Remy
Love those with your names
From others’ lists I like;
Rhys
Otis
Bram
Nico
Rory
Tate
Leif
Ewan
Good luck!! Thanks for the fun names!!
Rhys seems perfect!
That’s a perfect way to describe Reid, compared to our other kids’ names! Quieter. Heath was on our boy list for Juneau. Definitely worth reconsidering. Thank you!
Thank you for responding!! And good luck – I love your naming style!
Zephyr is a cool name like Juneau.
I also want to add a warning for the name Reid, which is a great name. I once heard a child at a playground introduce himself as “Weed” to another child. It took me a moment to realize his actual name.
That cute speech impediment is quite common and should be a non-issue at early elementary school age. At that point most kids can pronounce a R. Thus, that wouldn’t deter me. No kid at this age will make a drug association anyways.
I taught a little Shawn who couldn’t pronounce “sh” in Kindergarten, and I’m sure he will be fine in the long term.
In general, you are absolutely correct that most mispronunciations correct themselves by school age. On the other hand, our eldest actually has a permanent speech articulation disorder (they are a young adult) that has made us veto a few names with tricky sounds. Good reminder for him to try saying the options before we officially decide baby’s name.
I wonder if you would like Oscar? It feels like a middle ground between some of your names; it has the quirky kick of Enzo, Zeke, or Raif but is still a bit buttoned up like Reid or Cary. It’s in that nice sweet spot of familiar but not overly popular. Ozzy definitely adds even more razzle dazzle if you do decide you do like a nickname. Or maybe even Oscar called Cary? The letters are there! osCAR. Maybe Cary could be your special nickname for him if dad prefers Oz or Ozzy. It’s not uncommon for kids to have different nicknames amongst family
Or maybe Leif instead of Raif?
Other quirky cool names…
Nash
Stellan
Knox
Cruz
Devin
Damian
Xavier
Quinn
Jett
The Coleman suggestion above reminded me of a Coleman I knew in elementary school. Cool option!
How about Toby? It’s a classic name but it’s short and has sounds I see on your other lists.
Eli ?
I came specifically to suggest friendly, cool, approachable Toby. Love that it would share a last letter but not a sound with brother, and a long-vowel ending sound with sister.
I agree with SWISTLE about the Gary smoosh. I had mentally changed the name to Gary by the time I finished reading the paragraph.
My opinion is that all names ending in O must come off the list. They are too similar to your daughter’s name.
My fav from your list is Reid and yet I likewise find it underwhelming but something that could grow on me.
To add to the list. Gray, Juneau, and…
— Neil. This name meaning is “champion” which seems to harken to the Greek myth names on your list (Atlas). It is a rare name in usage, but still widely known.
— Rhodes. I love this one for you. It fits nicely with the sibling style.
I second [or third, or fourth…] the suggestions of Leon or Quin.
Good luck!
Rex
Rory
Ziggy
Reid is very nice, but my favorite of your options is Zeke. I also like the suggestion of Bram. But I came to suggest Blaise. I see this is a repeat, so please consider it seconded.
I keep thinking about Rufus for you too. It means red, which has parity with Gray. My hubby always vetoed it from our list because it was too infrequently used, so it may appeal more to your family.
I feel like Rhys is a great option for you. It has a similar sound to Reid but it has an unusual spelling similar to Tadgh but more well-known and more intuitive.
I’m also surprised Swistle didn’t say anything about how many requirements you have for this name. I think you need to let one of the preferences go, and I think popularity is the easiest one. When you see it on paper, you imagine everyone! will! have! that! name! But, in reality, it’s not true. If you can find your way to contentment with Reid, I vote for Reid. (I’m not aware of a single Reid in my children’s school, if that’s any help. Good luck!)
Absolutely correct. Aside from the Top 10, we have abandoned popularity ranking as a requirement.
Rhys was actually a top boy name contender when I was pregnant with Juneau. We are reconsidering it for this baby now.
Chiming in on the Reid love! It’s a great name, sounds wonderful with your other kids’ names and the surname, and not common.
Also think these are good fits, most already mentioned:
Ezra (such a good fit with the sib names, and such a great name, less “hipster” than Enzo but with similar sounds, not too common)
Rhys
Toby
Jasper
Keir
Devin
Clark
Perry
Nico
Quinn
Lennox
Colin
Quentin
Flynn
Devin/Devon
Cal
Leif
I like Reid/Reed and Rhys/Reese/Reece. And Leif/Leaf!
The Cary/Gray/Gary smoosh is indeed real. Alternative could be spelling it Kerry, which is less Cary Grant and more late 80s hair-metal-esque somehow. I pronounce them differently in my head.
Other thoughts:
Boyd
Brody
Bryce
Casey
Cody
Cyan
Doyle
Floyd
Quincy
Royce
Wyatt
Another vote for Rhys Lawpin. I love it.
Wolf
Caspian
Laszlo
Wilder
Ulysses
Emrys
LOVE Rhodes
I love the name Gray and I love the name Wolf but do Gray Wolves live in Juneau, (Alaska)?
Also, Crew was mentioned earlier. Adore that name but Gray and Crew together sounds like the store.
Rhys for the win!
Leif!
Rhys is a great suggestion except for Rhys Joseph with the double s- sound not being exactly perfect.
I prefer it over Reid, which doesn’t have Gray and Juneau’s flair.
I’ll add Arch which I wasn’t going to add because it’s not exactly perfect with Joseph either, but it’s as perfect as Rhys in combo and just as interesting.
*Noting that I’m ridiculously picky about all things in naming but compromised on less than perfect flow for our first son by deciding a name we loved meant more.
Love Reid for you! It came into my mind while reading before even getting to the end of your post where you mention it.
Unfortunately I agree with vetoing both of your front runners. I read Raif and Ralf – and also the other issues mentioned in both your post and other comments.