Hi Swistle,
Hoping you and your readers can give some input on naming our baby boy due in early May.
Some background – we already have a girl, named Eloise. We both love her name and knew we would use Eloise before we even knew she was a girl.
I am now almost 25 weeks and both my husband and I aren’t sold on anything. Naming boys feels so much harder. For context, our last name is pronounced like Lucas, just spelled differently. Here are our contenders and my thoughts around each.
Charles nn Charlie – I think Charlie is adorable and we both like this name enough. We would be perfectly happy with this and when our 2 year old says Charlie it’s really adorable. However, it feels so popular, and I especially worry that all the girl Charlie’s (from Charlotte) increase that popularity even more. Will he be `1 of multiple in his class? The class below my daughter in daycare has 2 Charlie’s (both boys) out of a class of 8! It’s a great name, but it just gives me pause. However, I think of the 3 names I’m proposing, Charlie goes best with Eloise.
Miles – we both like this name, and I like how it’s classic but a bit less common than Charlie – has a touch of a twist, I suppose, for a “common” name. Though it also seems to be rising in popularity and for some reason I get a 2010 vibe from it, perhaps because in 2010 I babysat a Miles, so it could just be my own bias here. I think the name is adorable though and we’d both be good with this one too.
Here’s the curveball. I have the idea in my head to use my maiden name…Collins. I know Collins is mostly used on girls but it sounds so masculine to me. I think it would be a cool, solid name for a boy. However, it’s a surname, and his last name sounds like a first name so when said together — “Collins Lucas” it sounds like you’re saying it backwards.
My solution here is to give my husband what he REALLY wants and to give him my husband’s first name Peter, so Peter Collins Lucas – but call him Collins. I do not want two Peters in the house since my husband goes by both Peter and Pete – there is no other good nick name and it would just be confusing for me. But, I could get on board with a Peter if he goes by his middle name, my maiden name. My husband isn’t quite sold on Collins but I like the unexpectedness that it brings, a bit like hearing Eloise, I suppose. But I also can’t say I’m 100% sold either. Will this kid be dealing with so many complications (going by his middle name, having a name more commonly used for a girl, etc)? When I ask people about Collins it seems kind of hit or miss, somewhat polarizing (but maybe I am too worried about what others think!). Also, I’m not sure I love it with Eloise?
Would love to hear your thoughts! What would you do in this situation? The good news is I like all 3 names, I am just not sure which is the winner.
Thanks!
L
I do think that the name Collins Lucas will occasionally be thought to be swapped; I don’t think it will be a big deal—and especially if Lucas is spelled a less-common-for-first-names way. I think it’ll be a “make the occasional easy correction and move on” level of hassle, rather than anything daily/constant. I LOVE when it works out for one parent’s family surname to be used as a child’s first name in a family where everyone has taken the other parent’s family surname, so Collins is my own first choice. (The option of using your husband’s first name as well as your husband’s last name, for a resulting name that has not only LESS family balance but also MORE potential for confusion and hassle, is not appealing.)
I also love both Charles and Miles; both were on my own list, along with Milo. I know what you mean about the 2010 feel of Miles/Milo (for me it’s more of a 2000 feel)—but I don’t feel it the same way as I do when a name feels dated or time-stamped; I think it’s more a marker of when the name got our attention. It felt like it came rather SUDDENLY into use, and that can get burned into our memories, especially when we LIKE the name. I have something similar with the name Henry: Henry is a timeless recurring classic and I wouldn’t call it dated or time-stamped—but on the other hand, I remember exactly when I started liking it on its most recent trip into popularity, and it was in the late 1990s, when it was the name of Tom Selleck’s grandchild on Friends. Yet it was still on my list in 2007 when we named Henry, and I would still use it now.
Yes, I think if you use Charles/Charlie, he will occasionally be Charlie L. I also think this is the kind of thing parents have been conditioned to think is really bad, when it’s not that big a deal. I have mentioned here before that my secondborn was one of three Williams in his preschool class, and then he kept encountering those same two Williams throughout his school experience, though they only had one year of all being in the same classroom again. They all still call each other by their Will Initial names, and they find it fun. On the other hand, it’s true that if you were considering any name with the nickname Maddie, I would probably tell a different story: there are so many Maddies in our school system that we even have multiples of, say, Maddie T. and Maddie Rose, and one of the Maddies has started going by her surname because she couldn’t find any other distinguishing option. So it really does depend on your own particular local area, and on your own tolerance for occasional name duplication. And I think you’re wise to consider it ahead of time, and to include the impact of Charlotte-Charlies. But I don’t think “might have another Charlie in the classroom sometimes” is reason to rule out a name; and my guess is that there are zero Charlies in your daughter’s daycare class and also zero in many other daycare classes. (There were not three Williams in class with any of my other children.)
The name that sounds to me as if it most meets your preferences is Miles. It has a very nice sound with Eloise (I think even better than Charles); it is not as common as Charles; it does not have the issues of Collins.
When I say that, what does your heart do? Does it sink, because you were hoping I’d say Charles/Collins? Does it rise up and click into place: yes, Miles! This is one of the most useful things about feedback, I think: not that the feedback itself is helpful, but that our REACTIONS to the feedback can tell us what we really wanted to hear. I think all three names are excellent choices in their own ways, and that you can safely pick the one you like best. I am interested to see if the feedback here and in the comments section will help the true favorite rise to the top.
Let me also try to add a Twitter poll, for another kind of feedback (you may find yourself rooting for one to win): Twitter poll. [Poll closed; results below:]
A few more names I wonder if you would like:
Alistair; Alistair Lucas; Eloise and Alistair
Barnaby; Barnaby Lucas; Eloise and Barnaby
Benjamin; Benjamin Lucas; Eloise and Benjamin
Desmond; Desmond Lucas; Eloise and Desmond
Frederick; Frederick Lucas; Eloise and Frederick
Percy; Percy Lucas; Eloise and Percy
Philip; Philip Lucas; Eloise and Philip/Pip
Simon; Simon Lucas; Eloise and Simon
Oh I wanted so badly to suggest George! Eloise and George!! But George Lucas is not going to work, even with a different spelling.
I like Miles!
Collins is a great name, and it makes me think of Colin. It would be more of a subtle nod to your maiden.
Colin Lucas, Eloise and Colin. I prefer the Colin spelling but see no reason why you couldn’t do Collin to get closer to your maiden. Colin is my son’s middle name so I may be a wee bit biased :)
Other names I like with your surname and with sister Eloise:
Theo
August
Everett
Ezra
Jonah
Yes, I like Colin a lot if you feel like it’s enough of a tribute to you. Also, if your maiden name is still your last name (or if it’s incorporated into your name) that may cause a hassle at some point–I knew someone whose name was, let’s say, Jane Russell, and she named her son Russell Husbands, nn Russ. There was more than one time that her son was assumed by people who knew Jane and not her husband to be named Russ[ell] Russell!
If you do go with Peter Collins Lucas, maybe your son could go by PC or PJ (Peter Junior), both of which are cute!
I like Miles with Eloise. For what it’s worth, my son has two boys named Miles in third grade with him, but I also know two adults named Miles—one who is in his 30s and one who is about 70. It feels more common now than it was, but not particularly tied to this time.
But if I were you, I would 100% choose Collins. I am more than a little jealous that your maiden name works as a name, and I think it pairs nicely with Lucas.
Some surnames definitely don’t work. DH’s rhymes with Duckin’ (though it has an extra syllable in front to go with the rhyme). Bad enough as a surname!
Our son shares a first name with my husband, and he goes by his middle name (which is also a family surname). I love it! We live in the South though, so surnames as first names are pretty common. Collins and Eloise seem like a great fit to me.
I think Collins would bring you so much joy!! It’s hard as they grow up and you’ve decided they get spouse’s last name instead of your own – I know a lot of women who, in retrospect, wish they had gotten their last name in there somewhere. This is the perfect opportunity for that!! It doesn’t match up with Eloise perfectly but it doesn’t in any way clash. And it’s a handsome name to boot – makes me think of a gentleman with a sense of humour. It’s classy.
So I LOVE the name Eloise and I also adore Charlie. If we had another, both Charlie and Miles would be on the list. For reference, I have a James and it doesn’t bother me AT ALL that it’s up there in popularity. We have never had to be James Initial, except once, so I wouldn’t worry too much about Charlie.
If we’re talking “fit”, to Eloise and Charlie bring me more joy than Eloise and Miles, even though I agree with Swistle that Eloise and Miles fit very well together.
And once again, Swistle is correct: it’ll come down to which one sparks the most joy for you. I don’t think you can go wrong. But I have to plug “Collins”. Every time I saw my children living their lives with my husband’s last name, it made me sad. So much so, that we decided (after many discussions) that we would change the kids’ names so that anyone who wanted to be Mylastname could be. My two daughters chose my last name and I’ve been thrilled by the experience! Every time I pick them up or take them to a doctor’s appointment, my heart sings. I think you’d feel that way with a boy named “Collins”. Love it. And don’t bury it within Peter – my sister hates going by her middle name. It creates a mess for her a lot. That’s just my opinion!!
Good luck – let us know what you do!!
I was totally expecting Swistle to pull a Swistle and toss the idea to you to swap the names. Name your child Lucas Peter Collins. (either spelling) Your husband gets TWO of the names he wants (his first name and last name), and you get one, but your one is the child’s last name.
I know it may be difficult and your last name is now Lucas, so your new baby will be the only one out, but there are ways around that AND I’m just tossing the idea out there… just a thought.
Also, good luck and congratulations!
Collins doesn’t read “girl” to me, and I think the problems with mixing up first and last names is no harder (and probably easier) than mixing up first and middle names. I know LOTS of people who go by their middles, but many of them changed to going by first names as soon as they had jobs. So if you go with Peter Collins and call him Collins, he might change it to Peter himself once there aren’t two Peters in the same house.
My recommendation: Collins Peter Lucas. Get dad’s name in there, but in the middle
Also- I have a Miles. Personally still my favorite boy’s name in the world!
I knew a sibling set of Miles and Lucas, so I think it will sound great together. But my first choice is Collins. I love the family connection, and it’s a great name! I know way more girls who go by Charlie than girls who go by Collins. (I think I only know the character on The Blind Side who was a girl named Collins?)
You have a lot of great choices and I don’t think you can go wrong with any of them!
Like Jamie above, I also came here to suggest Collin! Seems a good way to pay tribute to your maiden name while being unambiguously a first name. But maybe changing the maiden name at all dilutes the honor…I’m honestly not sure how I feel about it myself. For what it’s worth, I also think Collin is the best match with Eloise — both Miles and Charles (while great names!) have that ending S sound, which is also present in Eloise’s name AND the last name. But maybe you like all the repeated S sounds! I do think Charles/Charlie, Miles, and Collins/Collin are all great choices, so you really can’t go wrong.
I like the idea of Collin Peter Lastname. Collin instead of Collins eliminates the issue of “wait, is his name Lucas Collins or Collins Lucas?” yet it is still adjacent enough to your actual last name and putting Peter in the middle still gives dad a bit of what he wants; overall it’s a lovely compromise between what you each want. Plus I think Collin and Eloise are smashing together!
Miles was also a character on Sesame Street in the 80s and maybe later. I’ve only seen it pop up a few times, but those few were all over the age spectrum, so it doesn’t feel 2010 to me.
I think Collins Lucas would work out fine. My name’s uncommon spelling is a problem, as is people’s annoying habit of assuming I have a nickname, but it’s not an every day thing, especially since I mostly deal with people who already know.
As pointed out upthread, Colin/Collin would be a close nod without the name confusion. I like Miles, too.
Eloise & Collins
Eloise & Collin
Eloise & Miles
Eloise & Alistair (even has that l-s combo you like)
Eloise & James
I love, love the idea of using Collins Lucas! People may switch them occasionally, but it won’t be a big deal. And really, I think it’s highly possible that a baby Peter would occasionally get called Lucas Peters – it will be fine. I do get a fleeting Pride and Prejudice association (Mr. Collins, Charlotte Lucas), but that’s not at all negative (and since your name is spelled differently I don’t think it will come up often), just something to point out. Please use Collins!
I would use Collin Lucas to name it clear about which one is the last name.
But with Eloise, I prefer and enduring classic, so Charles.
Lucas as a last name will give occasional issues for boys regardless of the first name.
I wouldn’t let that issue prevent her from picking Collins as a first name.
COLLINS. Absolutely. Followed by Charles/Charlie, and then super closely, Miles. Peter is not even a consideration except as a middle name.
I know a 4 year old Eloise! She has 3 big brothers- J0ne$, Chr!$t!an, and S@wy3r. J0ne$ might fit your style best?
Of your choices, I like Miles and Collins, and would recommend Collins Peter Lucas.
Collins is brilliant as a first name and that way he gets to have a name from you and a name from his father.
The good news is, all the names are great choices, so you can’t go wrong.
My top choice is Collins, because it’s your maiden name. I love the family connection. I agree that going with Peter Collins doesn’t solve the problem, and in fact makes things more confusing. I like Collins Peter Lucas best.
Charlie is a close second, and if it weren’t for your last name, this would probably be my top choice. Just such a great name, and great with Eloise.
Miles is also great, but it doesn’t sound like you’re as excited about it.
Just wanted to point out that in Pride & Prejudice, Charlotte Lucas marries Mr. Collins. Collins Lucas sounds like an Austen tribute to me.
This was also my first thought, so if you choose this name, bear in mind that the name will make Austen fans think of these characters (Mr. Collins is a fairly negative association too).
I don’t think it’s a deal breaker if you love the name, but I think it’s something you’d probably rather consider beforehand instead of after.
I love the name Eloise, so much so that I suggested it to my friend to use it for her second (and she did!) as a younger sister to Lucas (so this letter makes me giggle a bit.) I now know two others, both with brothers – one went more surnamey and the other more classic. So I say whatever works for your family! But I’m Team Collins 100%. That’s an opportunity I wouldn’t miss. I wouldn’t just give him the middle though – he’s already well represented with two children having his name. What do you want for the middle?
What about using Charles and calling him by his full name? In my experience all the young Charlies I know of are girls. Also, from your note it sounds like you call your daughter Eloise and not a nickname. I like Charles Collins Lucas! Eloise and Charles.
TEAM COLLINS. *waves #1 foam finger*
If the last name first issue is concerning I agree Colin/Collin could help with that.
Also:
Cullen (potential Twilight baggage and dilutes the honor name)
Malcolm (more dilution of honor name but gets a tiny Miles-esque feel added)
I like all three names, so you can’t go wrong, but I voted for Collins in the Twitter poll. Miles would be my second choice. It’s lovely with Eloise. As others have suggested, you could also go with Collin if you’re worried about it sounding like the name is backwards. As for using Peter, how about putting it in the middle name slot? Charles Peter, Miles Peter, or Collins Peter, or Collin Peter. They all sound good.
You might never get another chance. Go with Collins. I only know of boys named Collins.
I think the Pride and Prejudice coincidence will only occur to a very very tiny portion of the population! I mean, I’m a die-hard Austen fan and even I didn’t immediately put two and two together. I just wanted to add that perspective. :)
It was my first thought, but if I saw it in a baby name, I would just chuckle to myself not assume some kind of meaning.
I like Collins for what its worth, and if the name Lucas is spelled differently I don’t imagine any problems. People do with two first names all the time and get through the attendant name switch issues.
My first and last get mixed up all the time and it’s a minor inconvenience. Don’t let it hold you back!
I don’t love Collins for a few reasons.
1. The “s” on the end makes it annoying when you need to say certain phrases showing possession. “Collins’s diaper” “Collins’s bottle” etc. kind of becomes a mouthful: Collinses
2. It might feel weird for your family (parents, siblings, uncles, etc) to call a child by their last name.
3. The style of the name doesn’t match with Eloise. Eloise is vintage where Collins seems in the modern trendy category of Brooks, Briggs, and Wells.
I do, however, like Collin, as well as Miles and Charlie!! I think names like Samuel (Sam), Daniel (Danny), and Theodore (Theo, Teddy) would also be great.
As a mother of a James (James’s diaper, James’s bottle, “Jameses”) it’s a little bit of a mouthful, but there are many examples of names like this (Charles and Miles being two! Also Francis/Frances, Lois, Lewis, Nicholas, Hollis, Ellis, Thomas and so on) and it’s not usually a problem for people. I see your point that those are established names and Collins is more complicated bc it’s the plural of an established name, but I’m sure there are lots of similar cases of surname names that have an ‘s’ on the end, (Michaels, Matthews, Evans, etc). For me, it’s not enough to rule out the wonderfully meaningful Collins. :)
Usually I pretty much always agree with Swistle! But in this case, I really like the solution of Peter Collins. I like that it gives both parents something that they love about the name, but the naming balance comes with you using Collins as the everyday name. I think this is a great solutions since you mention that your husband is still a little unsure about Collins. It seems like everyone wins (including your well-named baby!)
That being said, I also really like Charlie, and I really like Miles. No way to go wrong here. Good luck!
Collins! Don’t short change your name by dropping the “s”.
One of my kids goes by his middle name exclusively as did my dad growing up. Other than the he first few doctor appointments it has been a total non issue.
COLLINS!!! What a great name
Coming here to plug for Collin/Colin. Collins Lucas flows off my tongue weird, but Collin Lucas feels smoother. My aunt did something similar when naming her son after her maiden name and it still felt like an honor name.
Just fyi, 2 of my kids go by their middle names (for similar reasons) and it has been no big deal. Most places get their names right 100% of the time. In fact, the one place that doesn’t use their preferred name is the pharmacy…everywhere else seems to have a good system.
I love your name choices and love a good family name! For another option, I’d also suggest Graham. That was one of my favorites we didn’t use.
I think Collins/Collin/Colin Lucas would be wonderful and give you the family honor. (My preference soundwise is Collin or Colin, and that might get your husband more on board, but I think you could definitely go with Collins if you prefer that for an exact honor name).
I’m a huge Jane Austen fan and didn’t notice the Mr. Collins/Charlotte Lucas connection until it was pointed out, and it’s the kind of connection that I’d notice briefly and it wouldn’t stick as a problem of any kind. (Not like naming a child Fitzwilliam Darcy, which would be pretty unmistakable.)
Charlie and Miles are also great names that work well. I also like Simon, Graham, and many other names suggested above.
I wouldn’t let your husband have the first honor name for himself as well as the surname, when your son might end up not going by his middle name later. You could give your husband the middle name as his honor name.
My immediate thought was Collin. I don’t care for two “plural” names in a row. But Collin Lucas has such a nice flow to it, and is more distinct as a given and surname.
Collin Miles Lucas? Collin Peter Lucas? Collin Charlie Lucas? Swoon.
You’re correct that Collins charts higher for girls, but Collin charts well for boys, so while I agree that while it may be unisex-ish it isn’t a distinctly “girl” name.
I know some people don’t like changing surnames to move them to the given name spot, but I think the honor is intact. Williams -> William, Johnson -> John, names like that adapt well.