Hi,
I’m hoping you can help!
We are desperately trying to name our beautiful one month old baby boy and I have to say we’re struggling.
The problem is that our absolute favourite name is Max but our surname is Marshall and we’re just so worried that Max Marshall is a bit ‘too much’. We think it might seem like a superhero name or even a comedy name and we are worried about saddling him with something too bold for the rest of his life.
We’ve considered finding a longer version of Max but we don’t really like any and so we’re basically a bit stuck. I think perhaps another name like Michael or Matthew would sound fine but it’s perhaps the ‘Max’ that adds to the superhero element.
It would be great to hear your thoughts (and soon!) as we really need to register this baby!
Thank you,
Jen
If you were writing before the baby arrived, we could have gone over the pros and cons of the name and discussed whether it was Too Much and so forth. Since the baby has been in your midst for over a month now and you still can’t commit to the name, my guess is that you don’t want to. I think if you wanted to name the baby Max, you would have named him Max by now; or I think at the very least you would have told me something along the lines of the baby just FEELS like a Max and that’s one reason you can’t let the name go. But I can’t be confident about this theory, because it could also be that you’ve been spinning in this cycle for too long and now you can’t get out of it, and that at this point you don’t have enough sleep for either this decision or this discussion.
What if I suggest TABLING the name for now? That is, pick something else this time. Save the decision about Max for a FUTURE baby. Give THIS baby a different name. Consider your indecision to be a sign from the universe that Max may be your favorite name but it is not the right name for THIS baby.
After reading that idea: How do you feel? Do you feel some relief to give up on the name Max? Do you have a few other names you both like, and do you feel relief at having permission to use one of them? Or do you feel despair and grief, and does it feel like the baby IS Max and can’t be anything else? Let those feelings guide you: If you feel RELIEF about putting aside the Max decision for next time, then GOOD: let’s give this baby one of the runner-up names and be happy. If you feel DESPAIR AND GRIEF, then use Max and stop worrying about it: if it’s a problem later, you can come up with a solution later.
I wonder too if you have already discussed that Max can be short for Maxine. If you love Maxine the way you don’t like Maxwell/Maximilian/etc., then possibly your lengthy hesitation is because Max is your future DAUGHTER’S name.
I wish we knew the rest of your boy-name list, so we could stand up for other options. Michael and Matthew are both unsatisfying to me: they are almost as difficult with the surname (and I think Michael might be worse), without being your favorites, so they don’t seem WORTH it; also, it seems like they’re not contenders, but only examples to show how you think the name Max is the issue. And I’m not sure what else to suggest. Maybe you like Max in the same way you’d also like Jack/Jake/Sam/Max/Luke/Gus/Nick. Maybe you like Max in the same way you’d like Elliot/Everett/Franklin/Silas/August/Ezra. Maybe you like Max in the same way you’d like Axel/Rex/Quinn/Zane/Jax/Chance/Lennox/Nico/Ryker/Ranger. Maybe you like Max in the same way you’d also like Reid/Dean/Finn/Ian/Keane/Lane/Dane/Grant/Heath. Maybe you like Max in the same way you’d like Grady/Wyatt/Merritt/Jasper/Levi/Jude.
I have a desperation idea for you to consider. You both love the name Max best, right? And your PRIMARY issue is how it sounds with the surname, right? How does it sound with the OTHER parent’s surname? Maybe the name Max isn’t any better with that one. Or maybe it’s glorious, and this solves the issue. It creates another issue, sure, and some paperwork if you all want to have the same surname. But the three of you are in an unusual situation, and sometimes an unusual solution is just the thing for that.
I know Maxwell, Maxden and Maximilian are pretty well known, but what about Maxon?
I know someone who named her son Maxfield
I wonder if this one really comes down to personal preference about alliterative names? But for what it’s worth I see zero issues with Max Marshall, it doesn’t trip up on my tongue when I say it, and it doesn’t sound too super-heroey to me.
For what it’s worth, I see no problem with Max Marshall. It doesn’t sound too superhero or too much of anything to me. Maybe you would like Maddox with Max as his nickname or Malcolm called Mac or Cormac called Mac? A name with a similar vibe and sound such as Nash? Maybe a combo that you could derive Max from like Morgan Jax? Morgan Zachary? Maybe too much of a stretch but just wanted to offer some creative suggestions
If you like Max, would you consider Cormac to get to the name Mac? Cormac Marshall aka Mac Marshall is unexpected but very similar in sound, more “snappy” than Max, if that makes sense.
Other similar names that might work, since you need to name this baby!
*Ends in X like Max: Felix, Knox, Maddox
*One syllable like Max: Zane, Chance, Heath, Beau, Jude, Finn
Ha! I didn’t read the comments and went on to say exactly the same thing. I guess I’m a fan 😜
How have you been referring to the baby? If he “is” Max, there’s no problem. Max Marshall is a great name. Even if it does sound a bit like a super hero (which I don’t think it does) I don’t think that necessarily a bad thing!
Max Marshall sounds fine to me as well. And of course, you could use another completely different name for a formal one and just nickname him Max because there are no rules! I knew a kid whose legal name was something Chinese. I can’t remember what because I only saw it once; everybody called him Amos.
Hoping all you need is us random strangers to tell you Max Marshall is fine and you can take a sigh of relief and point any naysayers to this web page. Having a one-month old and name doubts is rough.
Max Marshall sounds incredibly memorable to me. It passes my ‘Would I want this name for myself?’ test. I can point you to a handful of children I know with more subjectively problematic name combinations. And as far as I can tell, they’re doing just fine.
Max Marshall doesn’t bother me at all! Maybe if you had a handful of absolute favorites and needed reasons to rule some out, you could eliminate it because of alliteration, but if it’s THE name you both love then you should use it!
I also like the suggestions of engineering a full name that is less alliterative, but I don’t think it’s necessary if you both love just Max. Congrats on your new little man ❤️
Also here to say that if this baby is Max, go with Max! I think it sounds nice together.
If Nothing Feels Right at this stage, maybe consider a family name/honor name. Nothing wrong AT ALL with picking a good solid name with a happy association, even if the name itself doesn’t give you butterflies. There could be a different type of satisfaction naming him after a beloved family member or admired person.
Maybe you could name him Magnus Marshall and call him Max. Then one day if he feels the name is too much for him, he can choose to be a Gus.
But Max Marshall is a fun name to say and lovely for a son.
From a fellow mom who struggled with naming my firstborn, I see you! Just want to say that I’m sorry you’re dealing with this on top of being sleep deprived and going through a huge life change. It’s a lot. I had a lot of name anxiety in the hospital with my eldest, and then for a few months after, I’d revisit and wonder if we made the right choice…then, one day I stopped thinking about it. Poof—the thought left me. And as it turns out, 2.5 years later, I adore the name we chose for our daughter and simply cannot imagine her as anything else. And I was on the fence with the name we chose, at the time, which does not appear to be the case for you and your husband.
It seems from your letter that your gut is telling you Max Marshall is likely it. I think it’s a DARLING name. I also chose an alliterative name and it *delights* me to this day. I think your anxiety is trying to trick you into thinking you can come up with a more perfect name. But Max Marshall is a delight, full stop. He sounds like the cutest kid in third grade to me, with a dollop of spunk. And if reading that name gives you that lovely “this is it” warm feeling in your gut, then no need to search for reasons it might not be great. Best of luck!
Thank you!
This is such a BEAUTIFUL answer. Swistle, you just nail these answers, time after time. I have to give props. Theres nothing more I can really say. Well, maybe just one thing.
I have a child with MM initials and on her, I love it. But here, I agree, it might be leaning too much Superhero. Which is always a risk with alliteration, and Superhero may not be bad!!
Cormac? (Occasionally) Called Mac Marshall?
I also want to add that I named my firstborn son (who was a shock – I had really “felt” that the baby was a girl and that I’d get to use my pretty girl name) a classic Man Name that’s lovely but not very …. fun. Because I find girls’ names to be way more exciting to come up with, and here was this baby (who I was having trouble bonding with bc he wouldn’t take the breast and I was panicking and sleep deprived) and I couldn’t figure out what to call him because his name just didn’t seem like a baby’s name. Eventually he grew into his name and in the meantime I called him lots of silly nicknames that didn’t make sense but were great for “babying” up this Man Name. And then one day, it just fit. And it was a beautiful honour name that I was so glad I picked. And I got treated for my sleep deprivation and we started formula, and I bonded with my little babe. Surviving the first month can be very hard, especially the first. So go easy on yourself! I’ve thought about it, and I take it back – Max Marshall, like my daughter who is M.M., is a kick-butt name that passes all the tests, to me. You will love the M.M. on this, or future babies. But for now, if Max is good, then let yourself rest. It’ll grow, just like your new little son will. Sending hugs…
I think Max Marshall is a great name. I’d use something longer with the nn Max, but that’s personal preference.
There is nothing wring with a fun name that stands out a little! Max Marshall might be the name I’d pick to read out loud to my partner during the movie credits, but it would be because it feels good in my mouth and makes me smile. I’d be relishing it, not making fun.
If you want it, I hope you use it.
Joining in with everyone else saying that Max Marshall is a great name. There’s a Professor at UCSD named Ivan Evans, and his name is forever stuck in my head as proof that some names that seem like they shouldn’t work are actually extremely good names.
Max Marshall is an amazing name. I love it. Seriously. Memorable. Fun. Spunky. I mean. Max Marshall sounds like an awesome friend. The name works fabulously.
Now, is it this kid? Only you can say.
And it is hard. Babies at 1 month all look the same. All mine did regardless of gender. Put them in the same onesie and they were interchangeable. But now they are very different. That whole “wait to see the baby” is crap. So how can you possibly know if you got it right?!
The point is, no one ever does. It is all a crap shoot — welcome to parenting. So “right” all comes down to love.
– Did you pick a name that carries positive associations for you (and hopefully others too!)?
-. Does the name have characteristics that you hope your child will embody?
-. Is it a name you are proud to say as being your child and that you would be proud to use for yourself?
-. Did you pick the name with love?
Then you are good. Seriously. There are very few wrong choices – (ahem Lucifer and Adolph). Perfect doesn’t make us happy. Choose joy.
P.s. this advice applies to parenting strategies too – let the kid finger paint or try to carry his own plate to the table, or use your sofa as a trampoline…. Choose joy over perfection. Every time….
I teach, which means I have 100+ students on my roster every year. If I saw the name “Max Marshall” I would be momentarily delighted… and then he would probably just be “Max” for the remainder of the time!
I say go for it if you like it.
For me just Max sounds better than the longerform I like the flow of one-two syllables.
I know identical twins Max and Jack. If you decide against Max, Jack could work? I don’t think you need to but just in case…
I can definitely see why you’re worried it sounds like a superhero name, but I don’t think it fits that aesthetic so strongly that it couldn’t be anything else. The baby can definitely be Max Marshall if you want, but it’s hard to tell from the letter if you want to be talked into our out of it.
Swistle’s advice is great, but I have one more suggestion: At this point, I think not having the decision made is causing you more stress than having a not quite perfect name would. If you’re still feeling unsure about Max after reading Swistle’s advice and all the comments, then I think you should give the baby Max as a middle name, and then for the first name, choose your favorite name suggested here or a family name (or a runner up if you have one, but it sounds like maybe you don’t since it didn’t make it in the letter) that doesn’t not start with M. So the baby would be Firstname Max Marshall.
If you put Max in the middle spot, you can still call him Max, his full name doesn’t sound as superhero-y, and if you decide Max Marshall is too much, then you can switch to the first name without having to do any paperwork.
I think Max Marshall is perfect.
I can see his name listed in the 7th grade band program, on the JV tennis roster, written under the acrylic painting in the high school art hallway. It’s memorable yet versatile. MAX MARSHALL!!
If the name makes you smile, go for it.
Is this baby’s middle name Max? Wesley Max Marshall, called Max? Thomas Max Marshall? Leon Max Marshall?
I read Swistle’s blog religiously, and this is the first time I’ve ever commented, but I love Max Marshall so much that I had to chime in. I’m forever on the fence about alliterative names, but in this case it just works so unbelievably well.
Thank you!
I also love the idea of a spunky or nerdy or sporty Max Marshall. (I also love Malcolm or Maddox).
My friend dithered for a week in the hospital
Because no one liked the name she loved. Finally I said, it’s your baby! Give her the name and then we will all love it. So she did.
I’d avoid Chase Marshall though, that’s too much Paw Patrol in one name!
Max Marshall is a terrific name!
My two cents: I love Max Marshall. It is a normal amount of name, not too much. When you mentioned that it sounds like a super hero name, I thought “yeah, kinda. Cool!” But as far as I know it’s not an actual super hero name, certainly not a famous one.
So your main concern is that his name sounds like he could be the hero of a story. But, since it is not the name of a famous hero, this is a non issue. At worst it might sound like he could be cool, at best he is the hero of his own story (which we all should be!)
I say use it and enjoy baby Max!
Just out of curiosity, how do you pronounce your username? We have a daughter and people usually say “Emmeline like fine” but some say “Emmeline like mean”
I don’t think Max Marshall is unusable, though I have a personal preference it as a nickname for Maxwell, although Maxfield is a good option, too.
I’ve know two boys named Max with brothers named Sam (for Samuel) so maybe it has a similar appeal. I actually really like Samuel Marshall. I like how it picks up the M & S in Marshall but in the other order and then they both end in l so there’s triple alliteration, but more subtle than you’d think a triple alliteration would be.
Other brother names for Max in my acquaintance are Nick (for Nicholas) and Shel (for Sheldon) but that last one is probably an outlier in terms of style. Nicholas Marshall is also a very good name.
Marshall was my father’s middle name and his first name was Steven, so Steven Marshall sounds good to my ear. Your mileage may vary.
Oh, I thought of another real-life brother name for a Max I know: Zach for Zachary.
We have a Sam too (I’m the person who wrote in!)
Or would you like Mason? Similar, but a little less superhero-like. Or Malachi?
I also liked the idea of saving Max for a future daughter named Maxine.
I have a Max. Just Max :) (Our family called him Maxy when he was little, that’s what he preferred, but now that he’s older he likes just Max). I still love his name. Max Marshall sounds lovely and timeless.
Thanks so much! What I need to hear :)
Thank you all! We went with it :)