Hi Swistle –
Long time reader here! I never thought I would have to be sending in a request, but alas here we are with a baby due in April needing name help! The baby will be taking my husband’s last name, which sounds like M@avis, but with a D. We are waiting to find out if it’s a boy or girl and are having some difficulties with the boy names!
We have agreed on Josephine (nickname, Joey or Jojo) for a little girl. Her middle name will likely be Lee, my mothers middle name or my last name (a yellow condiment you put on burgers). I am not too fussed about the middle name. As a reference, the other girl names we liked were Quinn (dont love for a boy) and Penelope (nickname, Poppy).
Boy names are where we start to have some issues. I have always loved the name Reid and my husband is not too keen on it. I also don’t mind (not in love) the names
Jack – family name, too popular?
Robert – nickname Robbie, family name
Fletcher (is this too random?)
Rory (meh)My husband only likes Rory so far and I am just not in love. He’s not even that sure about it.
Middle name will probably be Robert, Neal (my mom’s maiden name), or my last name.
Would love to hear any suggestions from yourself and readers if you are willing!
As an avid reader, I can 1000% promise I will send an update :)
Thanks in advance!
I like the name Reid, and I like it with a possible future sister named Josephine. My only hesitation is how it goes with the surname: the -d/D- creates a little issue. I don’t think that has to be a dealbreaker: I think it would be very natural to put a little pause in there. But where I feel like it becomes a larger issue is when the name can be misheard as a different name. The first name Ree is not at all common, so this isn’t like our acquaintance Liam Mason who is often mistaken for Leah Mason; but it still does make me hesitate, especially since your husband isn’t keen on the name Reid anyway. (But if he suddenly comes around, as so many men seem to do on names they’ve previously rejected, then I say GRAB THE OPPORTUNITY. If once in a blue moon someone mistakes the name for Ree, then you will correct them and move on with life!)
Jack is nice with the surname. If you are planning more children: do you mind repeating an initial? Do you like Jack and Josephine/Joey/Jojo together?
I don’t think Fletcher is too random. I think it will be perceived as trying to find something a little more unusual to spice up a common surname.
One of my favorite things is when a baby will be given one parent’s surname, but the other parent’s surname works as a first name; traditionally the way this has played out is that the baby is given the father’s surname (which, traditionally, the mother has also taken), but the mother’s maiden name is something that works as a first name. I can’t help but notice what a perfect first name your husband’s surname is. There’s no chance you’d want to reevaluate the surname decision, especially since you’re having some trouble with a boy name? Mavis-with-a-D Yellow-condiment-you-put-on-burgers.
When a couple is struggling to find any names they feel enthusiastic about, I do think a family name is a nice solution: the name will be satisfying even if it doesn’t initially make your hearts pound. Are Jack and Robert names from your side of the family, or from your husband’s, or from both? It’s not always possible (sometimes one side of the family doesn’t have anyone the parents want to honor; sometimes one side of the family doesn’t have any names the parents are willing to use), but when it IS possible I think it’s nice to balance the name: if the surname comes from one side of the family, it’s nice if the honor names can come from the other side of the family.
I’d like to put in a vote for using your mother’s birth surname Neal as the first name. Not only does it give the name Honor Balance (especially if you use your surname as the middle), but it’s also a great name. Neal Mavis-with-a-D! I really love it. And Neal is great with a possible future sister named Josephine/Joey/Jojo. This is my favorite option by far. I am having to suppress the urge to PRESSURE you to use it.
I wonder if you would like the name Calvin. I like the repeated V-sound with the surname. I like that he’d have the nickname options Cal or Vinnie. I like it with possible future sister Josephine.
Or Clark. It’s snappy like Reid and Jack.
Elliot was one of my own favorites; we couldn’t use it because we couldn’t agree on spelling. Elliot Mavis-with-a-D.
Or Nolan? I have an acquaintance with a son named Nolan, and I notice that (1) it pleases my ear when she says it and (2) I don’t know anyone else with that name. Nolan Mavis-with-a-D.
But overall, I feel like there isn’t enough here for me to get a grip on your boy-name style: we have one name you love, and then a few names no one loves. It sounds to me as if what’s needed here is one of those apps where you each select all the names that appeal to you, and then the app tells you which names you agreed on. Or maybe some browsing through The Baby Name Wizard, with each of you looking at the name categories and seeing which categories TEND to be the ones you like, and then seeing if there are any shared categories and any shared name candidates within those categories.
If you do that, though, and there are still no names either of you feel particularly enthusiastic about, I want to reassure you that it is absolutely fine to end up choosing a name you both just feel is a Good Solid Useful Name (Neal? how about Neal?); in time, I feel confident you will end up feeling Name Love for it.
Name update:
Hi Swistle and Readers!
Thank you for all your help. We chatted, deliberated, and researched. Our beautiful baby boy, Robert ‘Bo’ Neal arrived this past weekend. We think he suits Bo perfectly and if that changes down the road, he has a number of nicknames that will work. We really appreciated all your thoughts!
Grace
Neal as my first thought, too.
Swistle’s argument for Neal is perfect.
But in case you’re not convinced… another thing I noticed is that your favorite name, your husband’s, and one of the honor names all start with R. So maybe other R names?
Roman
Rhett
Remy
Ray or Raymond
Rhys
Roy
Russell
Randall
Similar to Jack: John (could use Jack as nickname), James, Joel
Similar to Rory: Ronan, Riley, Noel, Owen, Ezra
Similar to Fletcher: Griffin, Cooper, Parker, Thatcher, Hudson, Malcolm
I wonder if your hubby would like Riley instead of Rory. It strikes me as more of a true gender neutral than Rory. Robert and Neal are great in the middle name spot IMO, so I would keep Robert for the middle spot instead of a potential first name. I do like both Neal and Fletcher from your list!
My favorites:
John Robert Mavis, nickname Jack
James Neal Mavis: nickname Jimmy
Malcolm Neal Mavis: nickname Mac
Hudson Neal Mavis
Griffin Robert Mavis: nickname Finn
Parker Neal Mavis
Owen Robert Mavis
Ezra Neal Mavis
Griffin with the nickname Finn is very cute and innovative! I also like Parker and we recently added it to our short list!
Came here to say that while I love Reid, I think it will have the name blending issue, but not as Ree Mavis-with-a-D as Swistle stated, I think it’d be misheard as Reid Avis.
Also here to RALLY for the idea of Neal! One of my fave names! Honor name! Great with the last name! And even more amazing with your maiden as middle! PLEASE PICK IT! Neal *ustard Mavis-with-a-D!
Someone already pointed out that you and your husband both seem to like R names. But I wanted to emphasize Roy as a possibility specifically….similar sound to Rory, but similar vibe to Robbie. And it fits with the last name so naturally that I had to check that it wasn’t already the name of someone famous. (Apologies to the musician Roy Davis Jr….but I don’t think he is no-ons-else-can-use-this-name level famous).
I also think you should spend some extra time thinking about Robert. It’s such a classic, solid name. You’re an avid Swistle reader, so it’s probably easy to imagine calling a son Rob. Would it help if you thought about Bear as a potential cute pet name? Since your husband likes Rory, would he also like Robin (as either a alternate version or a nickname for Robert) as similarly gender-neutral/also having connections to the color red?
And also, Swistle’s suggestion of Neal is great.
Honestly, Robert with an occasional nickname of Rory sounds like a fabulous option/compromise of sorts!
Oh one consideration though…Robert + Lee + Mavis with a D starts to become a very definite Confederate theme that I’m guessing the family doesn’t intend but could easily stumble into.
(Signed, someone whose nephews’ middle names are Forrest, Jackson, and Lee, all after family)
Poster here – Robert with the nickname Bear is VERY cute…that could potentially convince me and my husband lol!
My first thought was Robert nn Rory.
Robert Neal D@vis nn Rory sounds like (a potential) brother to Josephine Lee D@vis nn Jojo
Okay, I’m definitely in love with Robert Neal. Might steal for my imaginary 3rd kid, lol.
Another vote for Neal.
Do you like Roland? Nickname Roly/Roly-Poly. The ending D might blend into the surname but Rolan is basically Nolan with an R.
See also: Ronan
Reese/Reece/Rhys instead of Reid/Reed? Reese (M)avis is a lot of sssss.
Roderick/Rodney (Rod, Roddy)
Ridley
Getting away from the Rs:
Alistair
Brody
Carver
Thatcher
I really like the nudge to use a Neal, but then I reread your letter and see Lee is your mom’s middle you’re considering for Josephine’s middle name… Would you consider it up front for a boy? It is very similar to Reid (but elongated the run-in D sound with the surname which I agree isn’t ideal) but is meaningful and very lovely with the surname. Or if you want to elongate for some reason – Leland or Leander or Leo or Leon? Josephine & Leander ‘Jojo & Lee’ sounds like an amazing set. (You can always use your surname or Neal for Josephine’s middle.)
I also love Davis up front here! But that’s a much larger discussion. Whenever this possibility comes up, I offer my own family’s experience – my SIL/BIL gave each of their surnames to one child (they have 2), based on what sounded best with the first name they’d chosen. In childhood, it created a bit of two camps atmosphere in their home, but in a smaller town, it was/is fairly well known they are sisters.
Anyways, you like Reid, he likes Rory, no one loves any boy name. I’m echoing many above to focus on Rs as a possible agreement letter? With a possible future sister Josephine, I like:
Russell
Rupert (form of Robert!)
Ronan
Raymond
Ralph
Rhys
Poster here – Interesting about your sister…I actually suggested this to my husband and he wasn’t TOO keen. I am not sure if I am either to be honest. I commented below but will mention here that my partner’s family is very excited about this baby having their last name as it will be the first (and only, unless we have more kids) for the extended family.
Leland is kind of interesting to me, but I wonder/makes me feel a bit like I have marbles in my mouth when I say it.
I’m suggesting Rhys as a similar sound as Reid minus the end in d/start with d issue. I also like Lee. My maiden name was Davis and I used it as my youngest boy’s middle and his first is Luke (Luke Davis __) and I love how that sounds. I call him Lukey Davis regularly (he’s 2). I think doing the name game/generator on nameberrys website or another swiping app might be helpful for you to help find more overlap. Good luck!
Neal as a first name gets my vote. I agree that Clark would sound great, and I like the suggestion of Rhys (or Reese)
I also love Neal! Lovely honor name, sounds great with the last name.
I also just want to echo Swistle’s comment that it is totally fine to give your kid just A Good Name and not try to hold out for your perfect magical Most Favorite Name of All. Your kid probably will not actually care whether their name was your all time favorite, they’ll have their own relationship to it and opinions about it no matter what.
Other option : Robert Ethan Isaac D@vis. Initials REID.
Neal is a great option!
My contribution to a list of Reid / Rory-ish names is Earl. :) Earl D@vis flows really well.
I have a Robert (family name) and I have grown to love the name. It is really nice has many good and sweet nicknames (Robin, birdie) and feels solid. Per another commenter though, I would not use Lee with it though
Another vote for Robert nickname Rory as a great compromise name!
It’s not a traditional nickname for Robert, but the sounds are all there, and I think it works! Besides, I’ve heard nicknames that are much more of a stretch than that, and non-traditional nicknames have been more common in recent years.
He will get a good solid family name, a name you are at least ok with, and your husband gets a name he also likes.
Though I agree with Swistle, it would’ve nice if you could both bring more names to the table.
My baby is Josephine (nn Josie), and Penelope was on our short list. We also didn’t find out gender before birth and boys names we went to the hospital with were Theodore (Theo/Teddy) and August (Auggie/Gus).
Love Theo and Auggie…I have two girlfriends with sons named both of these.
Team NEAL
Love Neal but how come no one has mentioned Joseph? Joe feels so fresh for a little boy to me.
Joseph Lee
Joseph Neal
Neal Lee
Agreed that it is fresh, but I love it so much for a little girl that I am going to hold out hope that if not this child, maybe another one in the future!
Hi Everyone!
Poster here –
All great ideas. Thank you! I will need to run some of the ideas by my partner..specifically the Neal name….it’s an interesting idea, one that I had thought of, but dismissed because I didn’t LOVE the name. I love the idea of Mavis with a D as the first name, but my husband’s family is very excited about this child having their last name (as it will be the first for the entire extended family). I should have also mentioned that all family names are from my side. I am a pretty firm believer that if this baby is getting my partner’s last name and I am the one doing all the work getting it earth side (and it has not been very easy so far), then I will get to honour my family/have final say on the first and middle name (and my husband agrees).
Our current list for boy names for those wondering (updated since submitting):
Beau
Reid
Rory
Parker
Cole
Callum (nn Cal)..but maybe I should think about Calvin
maybe Neal now?
All that in mind, I do appreciate all your thoughtful advice and feedback…keep it coming! lol! Especially the thought on not necessarily loving a name. I appreciate it as a first time mom!
I should also add – that my mum doesn’t love the first name Neal…so as perfect as it seems, I dont know how excited she would be. Hence the original middle name placement
I know a Neal and have always thought it was such a lovely name and such a great spelling, too. Neal and a future Josephine go so well together.
If Neal doesn’t end up working for you, I wanted to suggest Dean, as it feels like a brother to Reid for me.