Hi Swistle, a coworker just told me about your site this morning and I’m desperate for help naming our first baby. This is the first baby for both of us, a boy.
My partner and I have gone through all our family names and even used an app to try and match on a name we both like. We’re pretty open, but avoiding names that are more common like Mike or John. The baby will be mixed. He’ll probably have a Chinese middle name (also TBD), and the surname sounds like Clementine, it starts with a C.
Some names I like are Henry, Owen, Coen. My partner likes Arthur, Bruno and Bruce. Could these be more opposite?
Appreciate any help from your readers, thank you!
Liz & Nico
Ooo, I think it’s going to be fun to see if any of the names we come up with are ones that overlapped on the app!
I am going to start by directing you to a post we did awhile back on the name Cohen. Re-reading it now, ten years later, I am wincing a little at my own take at that time, which I’d summarize as “I guess some people have a problem with it so I guess I’d steer clear, unless you feel like using it in which case go ahead.” At this point I would say my reaction to hearing the name in the wild is a strong flinch, plus “Eep, I wonder if the parents knew??,” and I would advise against using the name. I would suggest alternatives such as Rowan, Bowen, Ian, Jonah, Nolan, Cole, etc., as well as Owen already on your list.
While Michael and John have been very popular names over the decades/centuries, the name Henry is more common for current babies, and the name Owen is right in the same range: according to the Social Security Administration, the name Michael was the #17 most popular boy name in the U.S. in 2021 (though this is coming off a streak of being a Top 10 name from 1943 until 2016, which gives it a certain generational saturation); the name John was #27 (but Top 10 from 1900 when the online records begin, staying there until 1986); Henry was #9; and Owen was #22. For comparison: Arthur was #155, Bruno was #664, Bruce was #535.
Before we start looking for names that bridge that gap: one of the things I like to aim for in a name is BALANCE. If the surname will come from one parent’s family, and the middle name will come from the other parent’s family, then I think it’s nice if the parent who got the middle name can get a little more say in the first name; if the surname AND the middle name BOTH come from one parent, then I think the other parent should get significantly more say in the first name. Sometimes it doesn’t end up making sense to do it this way, but I like to START from that position—rather than, for example, thinking of one parent’s family surname as the default and not as a HUGE SIGNIFICANT THING.
Another thing to consider: future sibling names. It’s hard enough to name one baby, let alone an unknown number of potential future babies—but thinking ahead to possible sibling names now can help in two ways: first, by helping to clarify your joint naming style; and second, by helping you to avoid accidentally choosing a name that will rule out another name later, or a name that doesn’t go with any of the other names you like. Do you have favorite girl names that would be ruled out by any of your boy-name options? for example, do you love Henrietta, Rowan, Juno, Lucy? would you prefer to avoid repeating an initial? When the two of you look at your lists, can you form little imaginary sibling groups with the names? are there some names that don’t seem to fit in any grouping? are there other names you find you keep going for because they seem to work so well with everything else you like?
Now let’s see if we can find more names to consider in the Henry/Owen/Arthur/Bruno/Bruce range:
Alistair
Archie
Bennett
Caleb
Calvin
Clark
Davis
Desmond
Douglas
Edmund
Elliot
Emmett
Everett
Ezra
George
Gideon
Grant
Harris
Hugo
Ian
Isaac
Jasper
Leo
Louis
Milo
Nolan
Reid
Russell
Simon
Stanley
Warren
Wesley
Henry and Arthur are a somewhat famous sib set, along with 4 sisters and a little brother Edmund who died as a toddler. Henry VII of England’s kids. (Not to mention his grandfather was Owen Tudor.)
Simon,
Edmund,
Alexander
Casper
Percy
David
Jasper
Ian/Ewan
Jonathan
I agree, I don’t think Henry and Arthur are that far off. There’s definitely room for compromise!
I like Elliott and Simon from the suggestions above. Maybe Bernard, Albert, or Frederick?
I also agree with Swistle’s comments about balancing the first, middle, and last names, as well as her recommendation that you don’t use Coen (which sounds indistinguishable from Cohen).
Suggestions based off of Henry, Owen, Arthur, Bruno, and Bruce:
Henry, Owen, and Bruno together make me want to suggest Hugo, Brody, or Beauden based off of shared sounds
Owen and Arthur together made me think of Oscar
Jace, Chase, and Miles are short and end in the same sound as Bruce but are a bit more modern feeling like Owen.
Jonas has a similar vibe to Bruno but shares that long O sound with Owen and ends in the same sound as Bruce
To summarize:
Hugo
Brody
Beauden
Oscar
Jace
Chase
Miles
Jonas
As others have said, I think your tastes are actually fairly similar – all of those names would have felt very old ~20 years ago, and I’m betting all of them will feel current in another ~20 years. We just happen to be in the middle of the curve where Owen and Henry have already swung up and Arthur, Bruno, and Bruce haven’t yet. (We’ll see if Encanto brings Bruno up early or keeps it down longer…)
I love both Henry and Arthur, so here are some other names that feel similar to me:
Felix
Theodore
Charles
Walter
Gilbert
Edward
Hugh
Edwin
Quincy
Quinton/Quentin
Sebastian
Jules
Tobias
Roland
Bennett
Beckett
Xavier
Xander
Thomas
Leo sounds like a slam dunk here – and it sort of combines your own names! And you could go a few different ways with a sibset in the future. I wouldn’t bat an eye at a Leo & James, or Leo & Bruce, or Leo & Avery, or Leo & Emilia.
Tweaks on your favourites to maybe bridge your styles, which I honestly don’t find too different:
Alfred
Byron
Bryce
Flynn
Hank
Roman
Rowan
Henry, Owen, and Arthur all sound like they could be on the same list to me, but maybe you could merge the lists by using one from column A for the first and one from column B for the middle. I would give first name choice to the parent whose last name is not being used. If that’s you, this could look like:
Henry Arthur C.
Owen Bruce C.
From Swistle’s suggestions, I like Caleb, Ezra, Ian, Isaac, and Louis best. Would you like Alan/Allen?
I was 8:01/6:04 etc on that Cohen post back in the day and, although Swistle did not appreciate my tone at the time, I’m glad to hear that folks have evolved on Cohen. I’m also glad it didn’t take off as just another surname-name in the last 10 years.
Arthur and Bruno make me think of Hugo.
You seem to prefer names with -o sounds and your partner seems to like -r sounds, so:
Rowan
Oscar
George
Orion
Oliver
Theodore
And Conrad!
I agree with others that your styles are similar enough to find overlap. I especially like the previous suggestions of Simon, Ezra, Charles and George.
Here are a few names I haven’t seen mentioned yet. I am a sucker for a good unexpected nickname, so I’ve included a few of those as well. I have put * next to my favorites :)
*Arlo- similar to Bruno
*Asa
August (Gus)
Colin- I like the alliteration with “Clementine”
Dylan
Francis (Frank)
Gabriel (Gabe)
*Levi
Malcolm (Mac)
*Maxwell (Max)
*Noah
*Samuel (Sam, Sammy)
*Silas
Wyatt
Zachary