Hi Swistle!
We are welcoming a baby girl in October. She is our third child, coming 5 years after our last so it’s been a while since we’ve had to make these important decisions! Our surname rhymes with pickles but starts with an R. Big brother is Sawyer Ryan and big sister is Sloane Elizabeth.
Names we both like Reese, Ann, Margaret. I like Molly and Mary but my husband does not. My husband really likes Selby (a family name) but I am not sure if it’s too far out there and people will think we just forgot the h in there. Both of our other children have our middle names and so we don’t want to leave this baby hanging with no family name but there aren’t a ton to work with. Ann is also a family name. My husband is convinced if we name her Ann Selby she will marry a man with an S last name and have a bad monogram for life. Or if we name her Ann Reese she will marry another S man and have an English version bad monogram. I don’t think we need to worry that far ahead as long as we don’t give her a bad monogram to start with 😅
We aren’t set at all on having a third S name child. That wasn’t purposeful with our second but many people have asked us if we’re doing that again and we can’t even think of any that have topped our list.
A few other names one of us has liked and one of us has nixed: Quinn, Saylor, Merritt. We are a name the baby before we get discharged type but will definitely send an update come Halloween time!
Thank you
Lara
I don’t think Selby is too out-there, and I like it a lot in the sibling set. I do think you will occasionally have people confusing it with Shelby, but not at deal-breaking levels. But if you think you may have more children, I might suggest avoiding an S-name this time to avoid backing yourself into a corner.
I like Reese in this sibling group, too, though the matching R- and S-sounds with the surname is too much for my own tastes.
Ann and Margaret feel like such a big style leap from the first two names—not that sibling names have to coordinate.
For the middle name, I think you could use your middle name again, and that strikes me as a fun thing to do: you and your girls, all sharing the same middle name.
I am a little torn on the subject of Future Married Initials. On one hand, I think it’s a smart idea to think things through ahead of time, even relatively minor or unlikely things. On the other hand, I cringe at the idea that we would name a girl differently than a boy on the assumption that a girl (1) will get married (2) to a man (3) whose surname she will take at marriage. Certainly we would avoid A.S.S. initials for a boy just as we would for a girl; but would we avoid A.S. initials for a boy, in case he might marry someday, and in case that spouse might have a surname starting with S, and in case he might change his surname to that one? No.
If she DOES someday get married, AND it is to someone with an S. surname, then at that point I think we can trust her to make the decision about what she’d like to do about that. She can choose not to take that surname, or she can choose to drop her middle name and move her birth surname to the middle, or she can choose another of her options; I don’t think we need to try at this point to make that decision for her, OR to prevent her from ever having to make that decision. But back to the first hand: if you don’t feel strongly about wanting both the A. and the S. name and in that order, I guess I would choose something else, while feeling a little irritable about it.
Let’s look for some more first name options.
Aubrey; Sawyer, Sloane, and Aubrey
Audra; Sawyer, Sloane, and Audra
Blythe; Sawyer, Sloane, and Blythe
Brynn; Sawyer, Sloane, and Brynn
Darcy; Sawyer, Sloane, and Darcy
Ellery; Sawyer, Sloane, and Ellery (-ry/R- an issue?)
Emlyn; Sawyer, Sloane, and Emlyn
Eve; Sawyer, Sloane, and Eve
Hollis; Sawyer, Sloane, and Hollis
Laine; Sawyer, Sloane, and Laine (too many shared sounds with Sloane?)
Maeve; Sawyer, Sloane, and Maeve
Mallory; Sawyer, Sloane, and Mallory
Maren; Sawyer, Sloane, and Maren
Marlowe; Sawyer, Sloane, and Marlowe
Margot; Sawyer, Sloane, and Margot
Maude; Sawyer, Sloane, and Maude
Morgan; Sawyer, Sloane, and Morgan
Paige; Sawyer, Sloane, and Paige
Peyton; Sawyer, Sloane, and Peyton
Rowan; Sawyer, Sloane, and Rowan (too many shared sounds with Sloane? too alliterative?)
Sasha; Sawyer, Sloane, and Sasha
Sydney; Sawyer, Sloane, and Sydney
Teagan; Sawyer, Sloane, and Teagan
Vivian; Sawyer, Sloane, and Vivian
Name update:
Hi Swistle and readers,
Thank you so much for all of your thoughtful suggestions. We had so much fun reading through them. We ended up delivering early due to preeclampsia and spent two days trying to figure out what baby looked like once she came. Funny enough, we ditched the pressure we put on ourselves to use a family name and also went a different S direction and are happy to present Scout Reese pickles with an R
You HAVE TO name her Selby, what a fantastic name, and perfect with your other kids names!! Let the middle name come from another beloved family member or friend. 💌
Update to add, so many of the names Swistle suggested are also lovely and 🎯. I particularly love Brynn, Marlowe, Sydney, and Teagan.
I named my daughter Ann and have absolutely no regrets. On this generation, it’s a very striking & versatile name. The style is a bit different than Sloane, but it’s just as tailored and sophisticated. And she can absolutely figure out how to handle the initials situation when and if it ever becomes an issue.
(I’m also trying to think of other pairs of names that might have seemed modern vs. traditional at the time, but don’t seem that way any more because the “modern” name just became a regular name. Leslie and Susan? Heather & Sarah? Madison & Emma?)
(Also, it sounds like YOU might be a little uncertain that you want to introduce your daughter as Selby, and clarify that it is not Shelby, over and over again. And at no point in your letter does it say that that you actually like Selby…just that your husband has thrown up ridiculous objections to the otherwise more than reasonable compromise of using his favorite name which I presume is from his side of the family as a middle name and picking one you both like as a first. So…make sure you pick a name that it makes you happy to use, whatever that is. And apologies if I’m reading too much into your letter.)
My daughter is also Ann and one of my other favorite names is Sloane so in my head they go together. They seem tailored and refined to me. Ann Selby is a wonderful name, regardless of any future initials.
Of Swistles suggestions I think Darcy and Morgan are also nice. I wonder if you might also like Larkin Ann.
I like Reese Ann as a double first name. In fact, reading Reese Ann Margaret as written in your post was lovely. Or Reese Ann Selby. Or Ann Selby Pickles-with-an-R. Selby Ann Pickles sounds a little like a spunky protagonist in children’s lit.
I like Aubrey, Marlowe, and Maren from Swistle’s list. Aubrey Ann, Marlowe Ann or Marlow Selby, Maren Selby.
Reese Ann, done and dusted. Great name, and the double R alliteration sounds super badass.
Look, if you love Ann Selby (it’s my favorite of your list) just throw an extra middle in there to give her options/ avoid weird monograms. Ann Selby Margaret Lastname.
Selby Ann. Beautiful, distinctive, goes with the other siblings, your style (surnames), family names, flows well… Love it.
Ann and Sloane or Margaret and Sloane are really jarringly dissimilar. And I am NOT usually bothered about sibset matching. But there are limits, I guess! ;-)
I really like Swistle’s suggestions of Brynn and Darcy.
Selby and Shelby both work I think? Not if you don’t like either name, of course!
Other suggestions:
Sabine
Sage
Shay
Dove
Bree
Brooke
Blythe
Enid
Esther
I like Ann Selby as a double first name — maybe hyphenated Ann-Selby would work to reinforce that Selby is part of the first name, not a standalone middle. The hyphen also eliminates the potential unfortunate monogram that might result in the far-off future, as A would be the initial for Ann-Selby.
Ann-Selby Margaret Pickles-with-an-R
Sawyer, Sloane, and Ann-Selby: this allows you to use family names and continue with the S theme, but in a subtle way.
I love Merritt. It’s too bad it’s a no go for one of you. Merritt Selby Pickles-with-an-R sounds nice.
I also love Hadley, but Hadley Selby seems too repetitive, although Hadley Ann Pickles-with-an-R is good.
Selby fits so nicely with the sibset and checks off the family name category leaving you free to be creative with a middle name if you’d like. I love the suggestion of using your middle name again. I agree that the name stands on its own enough to avoid confusion with Shelby though you might get that occasionally.
Some other names that might fit your style:
Rue
Sage
Shiloh
Cleo
Zuri/Suri
Sutton
Faye
Meg
I really like Swistle’s suggestions of Aubrey, Darcy, Morgan, and Brynn with this sibset.
Aubrey Ann Pickles
Darcy Ann Pickles
Morgan Selby Pickles
Brynn Selby Pickles
If you don’t like the idea of constantly having to correct people with “Selby, no H,” then I’d keep it for a middle (especially since you didn’t put it on your list of favorites), or use Ann for a middle if you go with a first name like Aubrey or Darcy.
More ideas:
Delaney Ann Pickles
Quinn Selby Pickles
Ellis Ann Pickles
Sutton Ann Pickles
Leighton Ann or Leighton Selby Pickles
Blake Selby Pickles
Paige Selby [P]ickles
Ainsley Ann Pickles
I think the hypothetical married monogram is a non-issue, for all the reasons Swistle said. If she did change her name, surely she’d do it in one of the ways mentioned so as to not have a bad monogram. (Most women I know who changed their name took their former last name as their middle.) Who knows how many women will be changing vs. keeping their last names by the time she’s grown?
Ah, I missed that one of you had nixed Quinn, so strike that one.
Love SYLVIE! Sawyer, Sloan, Sylvie
Sylvie Elizabeth — or Sylvie Eliza
I like the idea of both girls having their mom’s middle name as their middle name. I know a couple of families who did this.
Sawyer, Sloane, Sylvie
(I omitted the e on Sloane previously.)
I like the symmetry of each name beginning with S and having 6 letters.
I don’t have anything to add to the first name discussions, but have you thought about using your first name as a middle? One girl having the same middle as mum and the other with mum’s name as a middle seems pleasingly balanced.
Scout Selby Rickles
Sawyer, Sloane, and Scout
I love Ann Selby for you, called Ann or Ann Selby for fun. I think Ann and Sloan are a great match because they are both sleek and tailored but don’t feel forced or overly coordinated. She doesn’t miss out on the ‘S’ connection altogether and I like the thought that she’d have a name from each side of the family tree if that is indeed the case. It’s fine to break away from incidental patterns and I think each child will enjoy having their own unique naming story.
Skye!
Sawyer, Sloane, and Skye
Selby is a great name. Shelby is sufficiently rare that I doubt many people will try to call her Shelby instead of Selby. Selby Lara Pickles. Selby Ann Pickles.
Love Selby! Also consider Ellis? We love our daughter’s name!
I don’t think Selby is too far out there. You could pair it with Ann as the middle and you’d have family name in the middle slot, like your other two kids have. Or you could repeat Elizabeth as the middle as already suggested. Selby Ann R. Selby Elizabeth R. Sawyer, Sloan, & Selby.
I think I like Reese for you, too. Reese Ann R. Reese Elizabeth R. Sawyer, Sloan, & Reese. I’m on the fence about how it goes with the surname, though. How much alliteration is too much is very subjective. Sometimes I think I like it, sometimes no.
I like Margaret and of its many excellent nicknames, in this case I like Daisy best. Margaret Ann R. Margaret Elizabeth R. Sawyer, Sloan, & Daisy
Sloan is so tailored and stream-lined. What would be another girl name like that?
How about Arden?
Arden Ann “Pickles”
Arden Selby “Pickles”
Sawyer, Sloane, and Arden
Do you like Maren?
Maren Selby “Pickles”
Sawyer, Sloane, and Maren
Neve might work.
Neve Selby “Pickles”
Sawyer, Sloane, and Neve
Sybil would give you another ‘S’.
Sybil Ann “Pickles”
Sawyer, Sloane, and Sybil
Afton
Afton Ann “Pickles”
Sawyer, Sloane, and Afton
I was going to suggest Greer… but it’s not right with your actual surname.
Ooh! How about Seren?
Seren Ann “Pickles”
Sawyer, Sloane, and Seren
Best wishes to you and your family!
Sybil and Serena are awesome suggestions! I love those with this sib-set. Selby is a cool name, but it doesn’t sound like you love it. Other S options I thought of lean more masculine – Sven, Soren, Sullivan, Sonny -and you don’t strike me as a Stevie family.
I don’t know why, but I immediately thought of Calloway which is probably not the one but I kind of love it.
My biggest concern with Selby is not just that it’s close to Shelby but that it’s close in exactly the same way that a young child would be likely to mispronounce Shelby. You probably won’t have to deal with it as much, but I strongly suspect that she’d spend her childhood having people constantly assume she has a lisp. (The trick there is that she probably needs to be prepared to say both names – “I’m not Shelby, I’m Selby” – to make it clear that she is, in fact capable of making the “sh” sound.) This isn’t the worst thing in the world, and will probably decrease dramatically with age, but I do think it’s not just possible but probable.
Selby is definitely the most pleasing match with the sibset, though. A really traditional name not only contrasts Sloane, but contrasts the *extremely* well-matchedness of Sawyer and Sloane as a sibset. They’re both surnames that have a unisex feel but are actually fairly well gender defined (after looking at the statistics, Sawyer is less male than I thought it was, but Sloane is much more female than I thought – overall, though, they’re both far from 50-50). And that’s even before you get into the matching initials. I don’t think you have to keep all of those attributes, but it does feel a little jarring to go in a *completely* diferent direction after choosing two names that are so perfectly matched. Again, not a dealbreaker, though! Ultimately choosing a name you like it most important than the perfect sibset.
Ann does have the benefit of being a family name – I like that it can keep the same patterns, just mixed around a little. Ann Selby is still surname + classic family name, but flipped around.
If you went with Margaret, would you use a nickname? Meg and Maggie have a trimmer more modern feel that I think would “blend” a little more smoothly. But obviously don’t use a nickname you don’t like only for that purpose!
Sadie jumps out as a name that has the same spunk as Sawyer and Sloane without being another surname – and the shared initial helps lock them together even further. Stella and Sylvie are somewhat similar, but veer a little closer to “girly girl” to me. Off the S theme, Willa and June also jump out as retaining a bit of that spunky/preppy feel.
Some other ideas: Rowan, Skye, Shyla, Willow, Juniper, Lane/Laine, Marlow
Sadie is a great suggestion, I love that! Sadie Ann or Sadie Margaret would both be very sweet.
Two is a coincidence, three is a pattern? Because you don’t seem committed to another S name, I think you should put that completely out of mind and just find a name you both really enjoy. I agree that Selby might be super annoying to wear through life.
Maude is a name on Swistle’s list that I was thinking about. It’s not used enough! I love that it has roots, but it’s also a contemporary sound – MOD. I’d love to meet a pair of sisters named Sloane and Maude. Maude Lara. Blythe and Laine also strike me as perfect sister names on Swistle’s list. And Cleo, as suggested above!
I do agree with some commenters that Reese R- is quite memorable and not a deal-breaker with the surname.
Adding a few ideas:
Hope
Kirby
Zuzu
Flora
I do love the idea of your name being in the middle, or repeating your middle. If you did Lochlan Lara, you could call her Lola! :D
To me, Ann Selby is perfection–that would be my choice. If she wanted, your daughter could choose to go by Selby or even Bee, but I love Ann and think it appeals in a lot of the same ways that Sloane does. The styles are compatible and she would get her family name. If and when the monogram issue arose, there are options. Maybe I am in a Shelby cluster, but I do think Selby has the potential to cause aconfusion as a first name, but it would be perfect in the middle spot.
Other ideas I like for you:
Darby
Brett
Drew
Aubrey or Audrey
I definitely agree with these particular sib-sets that were mentioned in this blog post + comments section:
1. Sawyer, Sloane, and DARCY
2. Sawyer, Sloane, and HOLLIS
3. Sawyer, Sloane, and FAYE
4. Sawyer, Sloane, and ARDEN
5. Sawyer, Sloane, and MAREN Selby
OTHER NAMES to consider:
1. Bryce/Bryse
2. Tamsin
3. Deirdre
Hope all goes well & you find the full name you love the most.
Piper?
My two daughters share a middle name (Anne) and they secretly love it. I think it is a sweet way to tie two sisters together especially with a significant age gap.
I like Ann Elizabeth, super elegant with nn Annie.
I know you said you don’t have to have another S name, but I’d like to suggest Shea, Sinclair, or Sutton. I think Sutton would be great with Sawyer & Sloane.
If you like names that seem Christian/saintly to me (Ann, Margaret, Mary, Elizabeth) and Reese, what about Theresa/Therese (with or without the h) and nn Reese?
Theresa Selby [R]ickles has a nice ring to it in my opinion. You could also do Anna Theresa [R]ickles, either as a double-barreled first name or a first and middle. I think either is lovely and you could still call her Reese.
MARGOT!
It’s the first thing I thought of when reading your letter, and it’s a more tailored form of Margaret, already on your list.
Sawyer, Sloane, and Margot
Margot Selby
Margot Ann
Margot Elizabeth
Margot Katherine