Swistle,
A friend of mine made me aware of your “magic,” after you helped her settle upon a name for two of her three children. So when I was discussing my husband and I struggling with our September due baby girl‘s name (sister to Lily Elizabeth), I knew I needed to reach out to you for help!
One of the most important factors in this naming process, is honoring my mom who passed away almost 3 years ago from a rare form of Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. This pregnancy is particularly hard with not having her here, as she was our family’s everything. Her first name was Roberta (which she hated!), but she went strictly by Bobbi. Her middle name was Lee, but so is my sister’s, making it a little less of a nod to my mom alone.
Bobbi, we have found, is a difficult name to work with as a middle name. We like the first names Lucy and Maya, but we aren’t sure if we like the way Lucy Bobbi (a bit too southern sounding) or Maya Bobbi sounds. It’s also important to note our last name begins with “M,” with input from others stating Maya M is too much. A friend suggested a middle name of BobbiLee, to “soften the flow.”
If you can provide any guidance, suggestions etc., it would be more than appreciated to both myself and my husband… and my mom.
Opinions will vary widely here, but I will tell you the three–no, four–options I would be considering if I were you:
- Use the middle name Roberta. I know, your mom hated her name. But if I imagine any sort of afterlife, I don’t imagine the residents having the same concerns they had while alive. It is hard to imagine someone looking down from heaven on a new namesake granddaughter and saying “But I HATED my name!!” No: if anything, it seems like someone who is beyond earthly concerns would be more likely to see only the love and honor behind that name choice.
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Well, but what if the name Roberta doesn’t feel like Your Mom to you, because she never used it? In that case, I would use the middle name Bobbi. I agree it’s a little tricky to work with (though I think the actress Millie Bobby Brown helps a little); if you just liked it and it wasn’t an honor name, I might suggest choosing something else. But in a situation where using an honor name is one of the most important considerations, I think other considerations (such as rhythm and flow) should bend to accommodate.
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I like the possible solution of using Bobbi Lee as the middle (I would use them separately rather than mashing them), especially since it has the potential to improve the flow/rhythm while also increasing the honor.
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Or, I realize this is a long shot, but if it were me I would be considering using Roberta as the first name and calling her Birdy. It would be “Roberta, after my mom”—but with an everyday nickname just as your mom had an everyday nickname. Lily and Birdy.
I think the name Lucy is very similar to the name Lily, and also that the “two syllables ending in -y/-ie” format is not great with Bobbi, so I would probably let that name bow out in consideration of the honor name. And you’ve said you’re getting feedback that Maya is not great with the surname. So let’s see if we can find more options to consider, and play around with the middle name options to see what sounds good to you. I noticed the name Lily Elizabeth has some repeated sounds, so I included a few choices that lean in to the Bobbi combination with a repeated B and/or long-E sound.
Anna. Anna Roberta. Anna Bobbi. Anna Bobbi Lee. Lily and Anna.
Annabel. Annabel Roberta. Annabel Bobbi. Annabel Bobbi Lee. Lily and Annabel.
Brielle. Brielle Roberta. Brielle Bobbi. Brielle Bobbi Lee. Lily and Brielle.
Camille. Camille Roberta. Camille Bobbi. Camille Bobbi Lee. Lily and Camille.
Celeste. Celeste Roberta. Celeste Bobbi. Celeste Bobbi Lee. Lily and Celeste.
Cleo. Cleo Roberta. Cleo Bobbi. Cleo Bobbi Lee. Lily and Cleo.
Cora. Cora Roberta. Cora Bobbi. Cora Bobbi Lee. Lily and Cora.
Delia. Delia Roberta. Delia Bobbi. Delia Bobby Lee. Lily and Delia.
Elena. Elena Roberta. Elena Bobbi. Elena Bobby Lee. Lily and Elena.
Eva. Eva Roberta. Eva Bobbi. Eva Bobbi Lee. Lily and Eva.
Fiona. Fiona Roberta. Fiona Bobbi. Fiona Bobbi Lee. Lily and Fiona.
Grace. Grace Roberta. Grace Bobbi. Grace Bobbi Lee. Lily and Grace.
June. June Roberta. June Bobbi. June Bobbi Lee. Lily and June.
Kay. Kay Roberta. Kay Bobbi. Kay Bobbi Lee. Lily and Kay.
Nina. Nina Roberta. Nina Bobbi. Nina Bobbi Lee. Lily and Nina.
Noelle. Noelle Roberta. Noelle Bobbi. Noelle Bobbi Lee. Lily and Noelle.
Pearl. Pearl Roberta. Pearl Bobbi. Pearl Bobbi Lee. Lily and Pearl.
Sabrina. Sabrina Roberta. Sabrina Bobbi. Sabrina Bobbi Lee. Lily and Sabrina.
Stella. Stella Roberta. Stella Bobbi. Stella Bobbi Lee. Lily and Stella.
Vivian. Vivian Roberta. Vivian Bobbi. Vivian Bobbi Lee. Lily and Vivian.
How about Robin or Robyn? Honours your mum without using a name that she didn’t like. Lily and Robin work well together
What about Robin or Rosa as honor names for Roberta?
We have used names with a similar root to honor grandparents who did not like their names.
Congratulations on baby #2!!
We named our first after my husbands grandmother, Hazel. She told us she never liked her name, but now she loves it because she associates it with her sweet granddaughter ! I bet your mom would love to have a baby named after her 🤍
Cleo, Annabel, Delia, and Camille seem particularly lovely with Lilly. Nice job, Swistle!
I was going to suggest Robin, too, but the first commenter beat me to it. I think it goes fine with Lucy and Maya. Despite suggesting this, my preference is for Roberta, her actual name, either as a first with a nickname, or as a middle. Or you could use just Lee as the middle. Lucy Lee is cute, or Maya Lee. There are associations of Lucy Liu and Maya Lin, but neither of those is a negative.
Margo Roberta or Margot Bobbi
Any spelling variation
I LOVE the idea of Roberta with the nickname Birdie! That is precious!
My Mother hated her name, and my daughters have both decided they want to use names that were special to Mother, even though she didn’t have that name. For instance, Mother didn’t have a middle name, but she would tell some people it was “Jean” because she really liked the name. I am almost certain I will have a granddaughter who has the middle name of Jean because of this.
When I was having my babies, I used the name ‘Caroline’ because it was Mother’s favorite name. I liked it, too, but I don’t know if it would’ve occurred to me without knowing Mother loved it so.
Came here to suggest Roberta called Birdie/Birdy and saw Swistle’s #4. Love it.
Roberta Lucille? Would give you Birdy or Lucy nickname options.
Roberta Maya M flows a little slowly, but my daughter’s name does the same thing (sort of rhyming end sounds) and Swistle & Co said do it anyway and I love it now, even more than when I named her ten years ago.
Also, I’m firmly in the loving double initials camp, so unless it totally rhymes or makes a cartoon-sounding name I would be on board with Maya M–.
I think Annabel Bobbi is perfect! And Lily and Annabel go well together also.
I like the idea of keeping the full name Roberta. Maybe your daughter will like it? And if not, it gives her different nickname options, including Bobbi, Birdie, or Robbie!
You could also consider a variation of Roberta: maybe Robina, Robertine, Robertina, or Robette? Or a name that starts with a B or has a “bee” sound in it (like Beatrice, Bianca, Belinda, or Phoebe) that could have Bobbi as a nickname.
I do like Robin as an option that honors your mother, Lily and Robin. Another option might be Leah Bobbi. Lily and Leah.
Other options:
Iris Bobbi
Ava Bobbi
Nora Bobbi
I LOVE the suggestion of Roberta nn Birdy so much. It sounds wonderful with Lily too. The suggestions of Anna Bobbi and Stella Bobbi are great too, I agree that Maya and Lucy are difficult with the middle name. Julie and Avery also sound good with Bobbi.
Hm. I do think the last name makes a difference for choosing Maya.
Maya Mayhem is very different from Maya McCutcheon to my ear.
But going off what we know, I’d vote for Maya Bobbi M__
Lily & Maya
Lily Elizabeth & Maya Bobbi
I think it’s lovely.
Congrats!
Are there other names that would remind you of your mom? If she had a rose garden, name her Rose? Her favorite color was violet, call her Violet? Or a maiden name that would work as a first name? There are lots of ways to honor her if you don’t love any of the name options (Roberta/Bobbi).
At this point just echoing I also thought of Robin as a sweet nod with nature name Lily, but I also love Roberta ‘Birdie.’ I was racking my brain for another Baw or Bee sound name… maybe just Bea? Lily and Bea is precious. Bea Lucie M- ?
I agree 100% with Roberta-called-Birdy. That was my first thought and I think it is MARVELOUS!
Also, I don’t know what your last name is, of course, but I have a Maya M. as a student this year, and saying and writing her full name is a JOY. It’s just a little bit superhero-y and a little bit cartoony (in the best way) (and the kid is also a little bit superhero-y and a little bit cartoony) and I just love it. So I also encourage leaning into the Maya M. alliteration if YOU like it. Those other folks will get over it ;)
Loving #4, Roberta with the nickname Birdy/Birdie! It’s adorable and a great story and connection to her grandmother and gives you more opportunities to think/talk about her. And it’s precious with Lily.
There are some of those names I like batter with your mother’s names reversed. Particularly when the first name has two syllables, Lee Bobbi breaks up the rhythm a little. Might feel weird to you or just not work with the surname, but it’s another option to play with.
I like Robin! Either as a first or a middle. Maya Robin sounds nice (I know a Myla Robin).
I agree that Lucy and Lily are too close.
I am team alliterative names, but if you’re not, other alternatives to Maya could be Naya, Kaia, Kyla, Daya, Aya, Shaya, Gaia, Thea, Zaya, Yara.
I love the idea of using Roberta and calling her Birdy ❤️
I like the idea of Roberta as a first name with a different nickname.
I also think just because your mom didn’t like Roberta for herself, that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t have liked it on a granddaughter – you know that thing where you meet a baby with a name and it makes you entirely reevaluate how you feel about the name? I think there’s a good chance that could have happened for your mom. If you like Bobbi, then definitely go for it, but it’s pretty common for honor names to be a little twist on the original name, so if you like Roberta or Roberta-with-a-different-nickname, then I think that’s still a great way to honor your mom.
If Bobbi represents your mother the most to you, I recommend you use that! (TBH, I wouldn’t want the name Roberta for myself either so I fully sympathise with how she felt about it…). Bobbi is a lovely fun name for a middle on its own, and the connection to your dear mom really nails it.
From Swistle’s list, Elena stood out to me. Elena Bobbi has a nice rhythm, as does Lily and Elena together. There are sound and style similarities between Lucy, Maya and Elena that may appeal to you. (Plus, Roberta means ‘bright fame’ and Elena means ‘shining light’ which seems like a lovely legacy to create for your daughter especially coming out of a time of loss for your family).
A previous poster mentioned using another B name as the first name: Beatrice or Beatrix Bobbi has a very light, joyful rhythm, so I’d second that suggestion if you wanted something slightly whimsical.
And two B names could give you the nickname Bebe (like the actress Bebe Newirth), which is close to Bobbi too.
Bonnie is just a short step from Bobbi and sounds similar in style to Lucy and great as a sister to Lily. Would Bonnie Lee (or even Bonnie Lucy/Bonnie Louise with an affectionate NN of Bonnie Lou) be reminiscent enough of your mum’s name as to honour her?
Bonnie Lou to honor Bobbi Lee is adorable!!
Cheryl Strayed, the author of Wild named her daughter Bobbi after her mom. I’ll admit I wasn’t sure the first time I heard it but now I think it’s so charming and ready for a comeback. Especially with all the little girls going by Charlie.
Hi,
My daughter’s middle name is after my mom (who also died of cancer before she was born). It’s not a typical “middle name” and doesn’t have an exceptional flow but I just felt like it was important to honor her and hopefully a nice way for our family to carry on her memory. I don’t really think of middle names as potential alternative names–just an important addition beside the last name.
Since your older daughter has a full/longer first name, I’d want to mirror that and give your younger daughter the middle name Roberta. I think Lucy Roberta and Maya Roberta are sweet options: both sound like a sister to Lily and a granddaughter to Bobbi.
I would just use the middle name Bobbi and not worry about how it sounds with the rest of her name. Middle names are not used very often, so as long as the first and last names sound good together, I think you’re fine with Bobbi as a middle.
There are so many amazing suggestions! I just wanted to note that if it were me, I would only use a name beginning with B in the middle spot with a surname beginning with M. No honor name in the world would be worth it to me to use a name beginning with B in the first spot and give my child the initials BM, but YMMV.
I’d probably avoid BM too, though my spouse actually has those initials and *that* aspect was never a problem. The M, though, has a couple obvious & unfortunate rhymes, so the name-callers probably didn’t bother
Super random, but I think the first name Helen would work well here. Helen Bobbi M__ or Helen Roberta M__. Lily and Helen.
Or would Rosalee/Rosaleigh/ Rosa Lee/etc. feel like enough of an honor name? I like that it incorporates the Ro of Roberta and the Lee, that there are tons of nicknames if she wants one, and that it complements Lily since both are floral names.
Or Lucinda Bobbi sounds better than Lucy Bobbi, and you can still call her Lucy.
Maybe adding a B like Millie Bobbie Brown would help the flow. Like Maya Bobbi Blue M____ with whatever first name you decide on.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Personally, I love when middle names are honor names. And I think if you’re choosing to honor your mom, you shouldn’t pick names that are similar to hers.. stick with Roberta or Bobbi!
From your list – Lily, Lucy, Maya – I’m assuming you lean towards short, 4-letter and 2-syllable names. In this case, Bobbi is also a short 2-syllable name and I wonder if that’s making it sound harsher on your ears. I also wonder if you’d consider a longer first name (with a shorter nickname) to pair with her short middle name!
Isabella Bobbi – “Bella”
Arianna Bobbi – “Ari”
Alexandra Bobbi – “Ali” or “Lexi”
Adelina Bobbi – “Lina”
Angelina Bobbi – “Lina”
Or, maybe instead of Maya, you’d like Amaya – it sounds similar, it solves the “M” as the first letter issue, and adds an extra syllable!
Gosh I love Roberta, Birdie. Such a sweet nickname, a beautiful honor and Roberta has lots of nickname options if she decides she wants something different later.
Lily and Birdie. Wow!
Another vote for Roberta –> Birdie, but also Roberta–>Robin is great. I like Lily and Robin so much as a set! Roberta Lucy is a nice combo.
I’m joining the suggestions for Robin as a first name – I think it’s great with Lily. (Both girls would have their own real-world nature item for their name – certainly not essential, but sweet).
Robin also works for a middle, and so do Roberta and Bobbi if you want to use her actual name/nickname rather than a related name.
Some more possible names that sound good with Roberta/Bobbi middles:
Nora Roberta/Nora Bobbi
Miranda Bobbi – flows more easily than Maya Bobbi, and I don’t think the alliteration with your last name is a problem. You could call her Mir or Mira or Ran if you wanted a nickname.
Adelaide Bobbi (could call her Addie)
Louisa or Lucinda or Lucia Bobbi – for that Lu sound
Julia Roberta
Juliana Bobbi
Serena Bobbi or Serena Roberta
Vanessa Bobbi
Tessa Roberta or Tess Roberta or Tessa Bobbi
Jane Roberta
Ava Bobbi or Ava Roberta
Annika Bobbi or Annika Roberta
Celia Roberta or Cecily Roberta
Diana Bobbi
June Roberta
Katherine Bobbi or Katherine Roberta
Lucille Bobbi nicknamed Lucy!
Or…
Lily and..
Eden Bobbi
Grace Bobbi
Madeline Bobbi
Eleanor Bobbi
Willow Bobbi
Lucinda Bobbi
Lucia Bobbi
Delilah Bobbi
Fiona Bobbi
Alexandra Bobbi
Rowan Bobbi
Rachel Bobbi
Pearl Bobbi
Raya Bobbi
Raina Bobbi
Sage Bobbi
Georgia Bobbi
Vivienne Bobbi
Cordelia Bobbi
Olivia Bobbi
I think Bobbi works particularly well with a 3+ syllable first name that ends in -a or -n