Hello Swistle,
Over three years ago, you and your commenters helped cement the name for my first-born son. I wasn’t sure how to deal with honor names/my desire to be equally represented in the naming of the baby. Ultimately, we named him F!nley D@vid Ru$$ with the last name Whit with an e at the end. His first name is his paternal great grandfather, last name is from my husband’s side (though I took his name) and second two names are my father’s name and my mother’s maiden name.
We are expecting another boy in March and are struggling with names this time, again. Given our first-born got a name from my husband’s family, I’m sort of taking the lead in the first name for this one. To mirror how we named our first one, we have decided to give him my MIL’s maiden name as his 2nd middle name, so his last two names are set as Elliott and Whit with an e at the end. Finally, for a first middle name we are pretty set on honoring my family with either Brocke (my great grandfather) or Brandon (my brother).
SO! That leads us to the first name, and we are struggling. Our first son’s name is rare-ish, especially for boys, and I love that but I’m struggling to find a similarly-situated name. I love nicknames and more classic names. Are we missing some obvious good choices? Or am I overthinking the less common/more common combination of names?
Right now our short list is:
Charles (my favorite, but I worry it is too common compared with big bro, the state where we live it’s in the top 10)
Malcolm (I loved for a while, but now my OB’s name is that…)
Henry (I love this name but it’s soo popular now)
Lincoln
Kennedy
Theodore (with the presidential names I worry might be laying it on thick with my first’s initials as FDR…? I like tying the name to history, though…)Thanks so much in advance!!
F!nley is a name that feels a little more common to me than it actually is: I was surprised when I looked it up on the Social Security Administration’s website and saw it was only #304 for boys in 2020. Part of it is that it is also used for girls (#201 for girls in 2020) so that puts more Finleys in the field; part of it is that the name Finn is also in use (#178 for boys in 2020); and part of it is probably just that it’s a name that caught my attention when it came into more common usage, and I just happened to notice it at a rate disproportionate to its actual use.
Still, I wonder if that same phenomenon might have happened to others? The name Henry is Top 10 now, and yet brothers named F!nley and Henry doesn’t seem surprising to me. But again, some of this is very subjective: I don’t think I know ANY little boys named Henry, so the name still feels fresh and underused to me; someone whose children are in daycare with multiple Henrys and no Finleys (or multiple Henrys AND multiple Finleys) is going to see things differently.
Has the name Malcolm become associated with your OB for you, so that it no longer seems right for your baby? or is it more the awkwardness of the situation? If it’s just the awkwardness, I think that can be surmounted: I would feel briefly awkward, too, but looking back from this stage of life I can say it would no longer matter to me at this point. I feel a little funny about putting the name Malcolm with your surname, however. (I see I felt a little funny about it last time, too.) I asked Paul for a second opinion, and he says he thinks it’s fine.
The name Kennedy is an interesting one. In the United States, even though the name Kennedy is strongly associated with a male president and a bunch of other male politicians, the usage of the name leans heavily toward girls: 3,342 new baby girls given the name in 2020, and only 140 new baby boys. The name was #72 for girls in 2020, and not even in the Top 1000 for boys.
I think my top choice for this baby is Theodore, and I don’t think anyone is going to notice that your first child’s first/middle initials are FDR and then tie that into your second child’s first name being the first name of another president. F!nley and Theodore; Fin and Theo/Teddy.
But it’s true the name Theodore is more common than F!nley: #23 in 2020. Poking around in the 300-ranking range, here are some names that catch my eye:
Callum (#335)
Ellis (#325) (no good with Elliott as a middle)
Emerson (#267)
Gideon (#323)
Lawson (#357)
Louis (#260)
Rory (#330)
Simon (#251)
Spencer (#316)
I would be a little tempted if I were you to consider your mother-in-law’s maiden name Elliott for the first name. And that tempts me EVEN THOUGH it would mean BOTH boys had first names AND last names from your husband’s family, which would bug me a lot. It’s just so fun, and I love being able to use maiden names as first names, and I love the names together. F!nley and Elliott! (Or, if we could go back in time, wouldn’t Russ and Elliott be terrific brother names??)
Name update:
Hi!
Very pleased to announced that very much to the credit of one of your commenters, we went with a total wildcard in naming our second son. A big thank you to “Saraya” who suggested Ciaran. My middle name is the female version of this and given that my first son’s his first name is one of my husband’s middle names, it struck me and I settled on it almost immediately. I loved that it is rare (in the US) and also has such a strong Irish/Scottish Gaelic connection. We then chose to honor my dad a second time, having lost him the day before I learned I was pregnant, with his middle name Th0mas as the first middle name.
Ciaran Th0mas Elli0tt Whit (with an e at the end) was born last week! We are so happy he’s here and has the perfect name.
Thank you thank you!!
Would you be open to using either Elliott or Brocke as first names? (I love Elliott!) That way, it wouldn’t necessarily be that their 2 middles are family names, just that 2 of their names are family names. And since Finley is a family name as well, Elliott seems like it would be a perfect match. And since both Finley and Elliott are used for both girls and boys, they go well together in my mind.
If you don’t use Elliott, my favorite on your list is Theodore. I like the presidential tie-in, and I think it’s subtle enough. Finley’s full initials would be FDRW, so it’s not super noticeable. I also love Henry.
I like Charles! Finley and Charles/Charlie are cute! Theodore is nice too. Actually, I honestly don’t think you can go wrong with any on your list. I will second the suggestion of Callum though—I might be biased since it’s the name we gave my firstborn, but it comes from the same root as Malcolm, so it might appeal if you decide Malcolm is unusable.
I am trying to remember if my OB ever knew either of my daughters’ names. In either case, unless you are counting the days until you never have to think about Dr. Malcolm again, I think this is either a funny coincidence or a heartwarming connection, not a deal breaker. My husband’s middle name is after his grandfather, which is after the doctor who delivered the grandfather…I always kind of liked that. Maybe Malcolm could honor not just this individual doctor, but the idea of doctors and the circumstances of this baby’s birth.
Or, since you like Charles and you like Malcolm and you like nicknames, would you like Calvin?
Also, I think there needs to be an official level of honor name that isn’t “We named the baby after you,” but “We probably would have named the baby something else if we thought you were a jerk.” And that everyone should agree that overall, unless you are a grandparent, aunt, or uncle, this is a completely normal and flattering level of connection to have to a new baby’s name, and not to make things awkward by assuming more than that.
I’m also gonna throw in the suggestion of using Elliott as the first name- Finn and Eli! But I totally understand the hesitation of not wanting both kids’ first and last names to only be from their dad’s side of the family.
From your list I think Malcolm fits what you are looking for most (rareish and classic) plus Mac works as a nickname. Mac and Finn! I wouldn’t worry too much about your OB having the same name. Malcolm Brocke Elliott Whit with an e is incredibly handsome and you’ve had Malcolm on your list since your last baby so I especially like this choice! Gideon is another name that feels in line with Malcolm and would be another lovely choice.
I noticed you have both Malcolm and Lincoln on your list so I wonder if Morgan would appeal to you? It’s another great rare, classic pick although it is lacking in nickname options (Moe maybe?) Although this name is lovely all on its own.
If popularity is concerning to you then I would probably cross off Theodore, Henry, and maybe Charles but yet again if you absolutely love the name I say use it regardless of popularity.
We have a Finn (middle name William) with a brother named Reid (middle name Eliot). I absolutely love how their names sound together! Might be an option for you.
Brocke is a GREAT first name. Brocke Whit with an E is just fantastic and versatile, unique but easy to say and spell. Plus just cool. Puts your family first to balance out the honors. Brocke and Finley.
Brocke Elliott Brandon Whit with a E.
Beckett. Finn and Beck
Rory. Finn and Rory
Garrett. Finn and Rhett
Maxwell. Finn and Max
Leo. Finn and Leo
Conrad. Finn and Cory
Olivia Munn & John Mulaney just named their baby Malcolm so I think you could really lean into that if it’s just the awkwardness of the situation that’s making you not want to use it? IE OB says something about Malcolm being his name, response: “it’s becoming more popular! Olivia Munn & John Mulaney just named their baby Malcolm too!”
I have a toddler Malcolm and want to encourage you to use it! I love it. We call him Mac about 50% of the time (or sometimes Mal and sometimes Max). Brother Finn and Mac delight me to no end. There is one slightly awkward moment of being like, “yeah your name is great! We actually had this name picked out before we met you but you just confirmed how great it is.” And then presumably you won’t see your OB again unless you have another baby and stick with the same one.
If Malcolm doesn’t work, I would like to suggest August/Gus.
From your short list I like Malcolm and Theodore best.
Finley and Malcolm Finn and Mac
Finley and Theodore Finn and Theo
I also like:
Angus — Finley and Angus Finn and Gus
Donovan — Finley and Donovan Finn and Don Finn and Van
Dylan — Finley and Dylan
Gabriel — Finley and Gabriel Finn and Gabe
Hugo — Finely and Hugo
Jameson or Jamison — Finley and Jameson Finn and James/Jamey/Jamie/Jim/Jimmy/Jay
Randall — Finley and Randall Finn and Rand
I know it is a little much but would you be willing to use Russ or Russell here even though it is your first sons second middle. Alternately you could use Elliot as this baby’s first and still give him Russ as a second middle (or your own maiden name as a second middle? I do think Russ isn’t entirely used up if you want to use it again.
Love this – Russ Brandon Elliott Whit with an e. Lovely connection between the boys with the name Russ, not overused with both sporting it somewhere, but a wonderful honor and tie to the maternal line. Oh please consider it!
We considered Finley for our son but ended up using Callum. We really love his name and we’ve gotten a lot of positive reactions. Finley is definitely still in the running for a 2nd, and I think they go together nicely. We also like Rory, Macklin and Rhys.
I like Theodore for you and I really doubt anyone would notice the FDR thing. Now if it was Franklin and Theodore, that might be different. I also like Charles and Malcolm. Charles could end up as Charlie (though not necessarily, I know I kid Charles who goes by Charles), which is something to consider because Finley and Charlie have the same end sound, which I think it cute, but might be too much for some people. Do you like that or not?
Brocke Brandon Elliott Whit(e)
Elliott Brandon Brocke Whit(e)
What about Declan? To me, it has a similar feel to Malcolm without the association of being the doctor’s name.
Declan Brocke Elliott Whit(e)
Woah I didn’t realise Finley for boys was so uncommon in the States! Here in the UK it’s top 20 – in fact 16th. And you know what’s in the 14th spot? Theodore! They strike me as super well paired sibling names.
I notice from your last letter to Swistle that your first name is Britt@ny. Would you use Britton to honor you? Britton Elliott Brocke? Classic, easy to say and spell, but isn’t popular. You could call him Britt or Bri (long i as in Brian). Also Chip, since he’d be a junior of sorts!
Britton is my favorite, but Brocke would be cool too. If you don’t like Brocke as a first name, I also like Ru$$.
You seem to like surname names. Have you already tried going through your family tree for cool last names? I didn’t think there were any in my family, but I found so many gems amongst my great-great and great-great-great grandparents.
I think Malcolm is pretty perfect but I can see the hesitation.
Maybe you’ll like:
Desmond
Marcus
Vincent
Hollis
Julian
Cameron
Tobias
Lucian
Adrian
Rowan
Oscar
Ciaran / Kieran
Magnus
Owen
Sebastian
Ian
Jeremy
I feel uniquely qualified to weigh in on this one! My (second) OB’s name was Anna—our frontrunner name. Our potential alternate was Elizabeth. Guess what my (mean) labor & delivery nurse’s name was? That day in the hospital, trying to settle on a name, felt like a French farce or a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode. “Is she gonna think we named her *after* her?” “But if we don’t, *she’s* gonna think we named her after *her*”
Anyway, we named her Anna and now it is at most a borderline-funny anecdote. (We did move in between babies but I don’t think I would have felt weird about it even had we stayed in the first city and i saw Dr. Anna again for the subsequent pregnancy.) Not awkward at all and I happen to like Malcolm the best for you.