Swistle,
I stumbled across your website tonight and loved the type of advice you gave people regarding naming their children. I’m hoping you can do the same for my husband and I.
We are pregnant with our second, and likely last, child. The pregnancy has been very high risk since early on, so mentally my husband and I are just now able to take the time to think of names. Delivery is right around the corner due to preterm labor concerns and I’m panicking that I don’t yet have a name picked out for this little one!
We live in the US. Our last name sounds like Engel but is spelled differently (rhymes with “single.”) Our first born’s name is Griffin Michael. Everyone in the family’s middle name starts with an M, which is an odd little thing we’d like to keep going. My husband’s middle name is Michael, just like my son. The gender of this baby is unknown and we plan to keep it that way until delivery. We are pretty set on the name Blair for a girl. I have always liked it and surprisingly my husband approved instantly. If this little one is a girl, we would like to use Marie as it is my middle name too.
The main issue we have is with the boy name. It has been the hardest! We had a very short list of names that we enjoyed, we narrowed down, and we ultimately settled on Beckett Matthew. At this point I have no other contenders, but I go through waves of liking and disliking this name frequently. My husband seems to as well. When we chose our son Griffin’s name we liked that it was different but not too different, easily pronounced and recognized, and had a cute nickname of Fin (which honestly rarely gets used). I love the idea of last names as first names and want to keep that going with the little one too.
We liked Beckett for all of these reasons, but worry that it is even less popular and maybe a little too different. We really like the name Beck, but feel the single syllable clashes with our last name. When I get in my disapproval phase of the name, it feels to me like we are almost trying *too* hard with a name rather than choosing one that is well established but still less than popular. I also can envision a little old man Griffin but not necessarily a little old man Beckett. I sometimes worry that with delivery being so close, I am choosing Beckett for the sake of choosing a name (although we narrowed it down before preterm labor was a concern). While we are keeping the name choices a surprise until birth, I did confide in my younger sister who approved of Beckett Matthew. I’m afraid older relatives may not get it.
I do like Beckett most days, but I think I just need reassurance or opinions from a third party before I really sell into it. I’m also open to other suggestions as well that maybe I haven’t already thought of. I appreciate any help that you can give me.
Thank you!
Since your girl-name choice is one syllable, and so is the nickname of your first child, it doesn’t seem to me as if the problem with the nickname Beck could be that the one syllable doesn’t work with your surname. But I’m curious to know what the issue IS. It could be that something about the specific sounds of Beck feels wrong with your surname (Beck may feel sharper or more abrupt than the softer sounds of Fin or Blair); or it could be a symptom of you not wanting to choose the name Beckett and looking for reasons not to choose it; or it could be anxious feelings and cold feet as the naming deadline approaches.
Other concerns I think you can toss out: (1) that older relatives may not get it (this is common, and in most cases I think needs to be ignored for the sake of normal name-popularity cycles); (2) that it is difficult to picture an old man named Beckett (by the time the Becketts are old, I am confident it will seem perfectly natural—and if it doesn’t, it won’t matter at all); (2) that it is too different (it feels familiar and not out-there to me, even though I don’t think I know anyone named Beckett).
Since you would like to consider some other options, my first suggestion is Bennett. It is quite similar to Beckett in several ways, but it has a softer sound, and you may prefer the warmer, softer nickname Ben. Bennett Engel; Griffin and Bennett; Fin and Ben.
My second suggestion is Everett. Again, we are working with some similar name elements, and it’s a surname name, but it has a softer sound I think you might like, and I can definitely picture a little old man named Everett even now. Everett Engel; Griffin and Everett.
(At this point I would like to just make sure we have all already realized that the -t ending with your surname forms the word Tingle. I am assuming, since you have Beckett as your finalist, that this is okay with you—but JUST IN CASE it is something (1) that has escaped your notice AND (2) that you are not keen on, this seems like the last possible moment to bring it up.)
My third suggestion, if you have the energy for this and no one would blame you if you did not, is to start a new list for names that do not meet your preferences but you like them anyway. For example: names that are not surname names, names that may not be as easily pronounced as you’d prefer, names that are more or less popular than you had in mind—just an absolute No Rules brainstorm list. Even if you were not likely stopping at two children, my feeling is that after the naming process is complete, almost no one gives even one fig, let alone two, about whether all the names coordinate to the same set of preferences. If this time you go for a non-surname name, or a name that could be mispronounced, or a name that’s more common than you’d prefer—well, it’s all just FINE!
And especially if it is also a name you feel pretty sure about, a name that makes your hearts sing, etc. Maybe such a name doesn’t exist (for boy names especially, I found I had to make my goal “a name I feel warmly satisfied with” rather than “a name I love”); but if you CAN find a name you love (or at least feel more warmly satisfied with), I think in the long run that’s going to make you happier than reflecting on the ways the two kids’ names line up preferences-wise (though that kind of thing CAN also give significant satisfaction, so it’s win-win here).
I’d like to get this posted as soon as possible, since time is short and I’ve already kept this waiting for several days, so I may come back to add to this list of additional suggestions, but here it is real quick:
Calvin
Darian
Davis (makes “single” with surname)
Elliot (makes “tingle” with surname)
Harvey
Jasper
Louis (makes “single” with surname)
Nathan
Nolan (kind of a lot of N with the surname)
Oliver
Simon
Theodore
Wesley
Wilson
Name update:
Swistle,
We wanted to update you and let you know that we chose Bennett Matthew! We could not be happier as his name fits him perfectly!
You were totally right that Beckett was just too harsh sounding (although we didn’t know that’s why we didn’t like it until you suggested it). We started by making a whole new list with no rules and still came back to Bennett.
Thank you so much for your kind words and suggestions!
Love the suggestion of Bennett nn Ben to go with Griffin/Fin! I also think Everett is great and you could use Rhett/Rett as a nn. I like Beckett/Beck, but Beck does have a harsher sound with the last name than others, and I can’t quite figure out why.
I’m all heart-eyes over Swistle’s suggestion of Bennett.
I do think Beckett is a great name, too! I think it will age very well.
And I support coming up with the “No Rules” list. Might be fun and freeing!
There’s a 2 year old Beckett in my daughter’s gymnastics class and it fits him well and felt fresh to hear. I do love Swistle’s suggestion of Jasper both with your last name and brother’s name.
I like Beckett and Bennett with Griffin.
Other ideas:
Corbin (Cory)
Reese / Rhys
Owen
Declan
Logan
I just finished watching Castle, and the female lead’s surname is Beckett. She’s mostly called by her surname so it feels familiar to me after watching 8 seasons. Could the nickname for your son be Kitt instead of Beck? Otherwise I love the option of Bennet nn Ben.
I love the nickname Kitt, but I think if the problem is the combination with the last name, this actually makes it more of a challenge. Kitt Engle has some major “kitten” sounds to my ear! (Although maybe that’s not too bad? Kittens are delightful.)
When I first started hearing Beckett as a name for boys, I immediately thought of the girls’ shortening of Rebecca, “Becky” or occasionally “Beck”. For that reason and because of the softer sounds, I prefer
Bennett.
Griffin Michael and Bennett Matthew are an appealing sibling combo, — in the full forms Griffin and Bennett and in the occasional shortened forms, Fin and Ben.
My friend named her son Griffin for a day before switching to Everett, so I think that is spot-on (or maybe just feels like a familiar pairing to my ear.) I’d like to also suggest Emmett which gives me the same cozy feeling as Griffin. And because you rarely use Fin for Griffin, I wonder if the nickname is a moot point? Especially with two-syllable choices. (Honestly Fin Engle just makes me think of finagle?!?)
Beckett is a fairly familiar name where I am in the under 10 crew, and I’d definitely put it at the same level of aging-well as Griffin. But it sounds like it’s just not the one you love. Or maybe it’s last-minute jitters. I definitely had those both times, and if I’d gone with the last-minute choices I felt so strongly about, my kids would be Vesper and Thisbe. Which are lovely names, but not my style, and not my kids.
I love your choice of Blaire. For something in that vein for boys, how about Blake or Brooks or Bryn?
(I know adult men with these names and they age well and all are lovely humans.) Good luck!
Or even Bryan. I don’t think I’ve heard it on anyone under 25 in ages. And of course O’Brian is a surname
I love Beckett, and to me it doesn’t sound out-there at all. I thought Trudee’s suggestion of the nn Kitt as an alternative to Beck was brilliant!
Not that there’s anything wrong with Beck, either– I agree that it is just a little tricky with the last name, as is Kitt, but I don’t think we need to use nickname + lastname very often if we don’t want to.
“Hello, my name is Beckett Engel. You can call me Kitt/Beck.”
I hope everything goes smoothly for you and your baby!
I like Beckett, but Beck Engel is slightly reminding me of the saying “Beck and Call” which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, I just find it distracting.
I love Beckett and also immediately thought of Bennett. Sixteen years ago a bestie named her middle son W. Bennett and when it was time to name a third child considered naming him Bennett because she couldn’t find another name in the world that she liked as much. She settled on Beckett, loved it, and had a girl. In conclusion, I love both.
I am very pro going with the name that brings you maximum joy, whether or not it matches with your oldest’s name or your naming rules, etc. so I love Swistle’s suggestion of the no-rules name list.
Names I like with Griffin include Emmett, Callum, Graham, Garrett, Wesley, Fox, Rhys, Hugh. I hope you can find some pockets of peace to contemplate names and feel joyful and content with your eventual choice!
I love the name Griffin and have suggested it several times to my children when they were expecting, but no one has taken me up on it yet. I also love your choice of Blair Marie.
Of the names mentioned above, I like Beckett, Bennett, and Everett (nn Rhett).
Other names I like:
Bryce — Griffin and Bryce, Finn and Bryce, Bryce Matthew Engle
Dexter — Griffin and Dexter, Finn and Dex, Dexter Matthew Engle I realize right now might not be the best time to name a child Dexter since the Showtime series is starting again. Some people might say there’s never a good time to name a child after a character who’s a serial killer, but it is a cool name.
Theo — Griffin and Theo, Finn and Theo, Theo Matthew Engle
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the somewhat unfortunate pairing of the initials B and M, not as bad as BJ (which my children assure me is still a “no go” in naming). Besides the more common meaning of “bowel movement,” BM also is an abbreviation for “bad manners” or “bad mannered” in online gaming. All of this is by no means a deal-breaker (especially since most of the time a name displays as full first name, middle initial). This might be something to take into consideration or I could be totally out in left field.
I thought of this, too, then decided it would be an issue if it was the first and last name, but not so much for first and middle. That was my take anyway.
I don’t think “BM” is an initials issue for first-middle
I suspect it depends. DH’s 1st & last name initials are BM and he’s rarely gotten teased for that combo. But then, the M part can be easily converted to rude things on its own, so that may be why.
I like Bennett so much for you I almost don’t want to make any other suggestions. Everett is good, too, though. And Emmett. How about Simon?
I read your whole letter thinking BENNETT BENNETT BENNETT and then felt AWASH WITH RELIEF AND SMUG SATISFACTION that it was Swistle’s first suggestion.
Beckett is perfectly nice but if you are looking for something else BENNETT. ASKED AND ANSWERED.
Same
Here with more love for Bennett! I like the flow with your surname, it sounds great with the brother name, and appeals in many of the same ways Griffin does.
I known a Beckett and it is a great name – I enjoy cheering for little Beckett at baseball. Plus Beck Bennett shows it works just fine on adults.
I wanted to point out that Beckett is slightly MORE POPULAR the Griffin – Beckett is 209 on the SS list for 2020, Griffin is 241. The difference in ranking is slight, less than 300 more Becketts born in the US last year. Beckett has been slowly rising and Griffin has been holding steady. Really nicely paired in terms of popularity.
Bennett on the other hand is much more popular than Griffin Bennett was ranked 101 for 2020, with 2100 more baby boys named Bennett than Griffin. Bennett has been rising quickly so I expect it will be in the top 100 next year.
I think Beckett is a super name and goes great with Griffin.
It sounds like you were hoping to make the decision well before the birth but for whatever reason it hasn’t clicked into place. I wonder if this baby just wants to be named after they’ve arrived and you’ve met them face to face. I don’t know if that thought helps with any of the stress you’re feeling but they definitely won’t go unnamed indefinitely.
I would like to offer some suggestions in the surname style in case there’s some you haven’t give much thought: Clark, Judson, Shepherd, Cameron, Wells, Hartley, Truman, Bowen, Sullivan, Reid, Jameson, Baxter, Pascoe, Wiley and Jacoby. All the best with the decision.
Love Swistle’s list. Just wanted to mention that Jasper + the last name sounded like Pringles when I said it out loud.
I really like Beckett and Bennett, either one. Also, I thought of Barrett which I also love.
Beckett or Bennett would be excellent names for Griffin’s little brother
In case you’re interested, my little sister’s name would’ve been Griffin Cyrus if she were a boy, after Mom’s grandpa Cyrus Griffin. (Griffin being his surname). I’ve seen a few late millennial and gen-Z Cyruses, too, usually nicknamed Cy, as great grandpa was, though you could also use Russ.
May the rest of your pregnancy and labor be as boring, medically speaking, as possible.
I actually find it easier to imagine an old man Beckett than an old man Griffin!
My first thought was also Bennett so +1 there. The meaning also feels fitting giving the situation.
I also think you could use Blair regardless, as it’s unisex. I can understand if you only like it on one gender as there are definitely names I feel that way about; but since it’s likely your last and you both love the name, I feel like Blair Matthew is a good option!
Evan
Tobias
Emerson
Vincent
Ellis
Hollis
Julian
Morgan
Rowan
Quinn
Felix
Francis
Owen
Luca
Adrian
Jasper
Kieran
Rhys / Reese
First of all, I’m pregnant and just added Griffin nn Fin to my boy list. I love that! (Swistle, I’ll probably be writing you once we know gender and the serious name discussion begins!)
I like Beckett. My son’s friend is named Beckett and he’s a shaggy haired soccer player and it just fits!
Beckett is adorable, but I’m really in love with Everett for you, nickname Rhett
Griffin Michael
Everett Mathhew (or maybe Mason?)
Finn and Rhett “single”
Best of luck!
I am onboard with Swistle’s suggestion of Bennett, but would also like to offer up my own (almost 20-year-old) son’s name, Fordon (like Gordon with an F)
Nicely unusual, but feels familiar. We’ve had some issues with people mishearing it as Fordham, but doing the like Gordon chant fixes that immediately.
I think Beckett is an awesome name and will age well. So really it is down to whether you love it or not.
Bennett is an excellent substitute. And Everett is a great name too. I came to suggest Abram (nn Bram). It had that solid friendly guy feel just like Griffin. Abram Engle. Grinnfin and Abram. Finn and Bram.
I read the letter and immediately thought of Bennet, so was glad to see that was swistle’s first suggestion! I also like Graham with Griffin. I’d like Flyn but too close to Fin. How about Clark? Griffin and Clark.