Hello there Swistle!
We are the Meyer-with-an-s family, expecting a baby boy around Thanksgiving. Big sister shares a name with the sixth month of the year. Her middle name is the same as mine, which is also my mom’s maiden (and happens to be a girl’s first name).
We have a list of about 5 boy names that we both like, but absolutely can not agree on one. Issues and thoughts on each…
Andrew – I think this would be the winner except that it is one of our siblings’ names and we want to -100% name a child after this sibling, which is very awkward especially since anyone who knows this sibling will assume we named the baby after him and will wonder why
Henry – just sooooo popular
Graham – my favorite, husband doesn’t like but can’t explain why
Adam – we are both kind of “yeah maybe but eh” about this one
Patrick – I think this is husband’s front runner, and I really like it except that he wants to call the baby Pat which I hate. I like Patch as a fun nickname but he thinks it’s too out there.To help you get a sense of our style, we also like David but think it’s too boring, John but can’t use it for various reasons, and Avery but can’t get over the “it’s a girl name now” aspect. If this baby was a girl she would almost certainly be named Claire or possibly Elizabeth. So you can see that our style runs pretty classic/vanilla.
I think our biggest hurdle is how much we LOVE our daughter’s name. It is so classic, yet unexpected, and kind of “old lady” but fresh feeling. We just can’t find any boys’ name that feel like that. Everything we otherwise like seems too overused and middle aged man boring (David, William, Alan) or too trendy now (Henry).
I think it’s really down to Andrew, Graham, or Patrick, all of which feel classic and familiar but not soooooo heavily used these days, at least in our circles. But there’s the extremely awkward family issue with Andrew, and then that we each prefer a different name of the other two.
We’ve read the entire SSA top 1000 so I don’t know that we are looking for other suggestions, so much as looking for your thoughts on our top choices and help deciding!
Oh, and middle name will probably be H@stings which is my husband’s middle name. I like the symmetry of our first two kids each sharing our middle names.
Thanks in advance!!
E
I love the name Henry, and it was very nearly my youngest’s name. I see it is Top 10 in the U.S. now, according to the Social Security Administration, which is surprising to me because I still don’t know a single real-life Henry. But: my youngest kid is 14, and I don’t know as many people with babies/toddlers these days, so this makes sense. Well. I still love the name, and I like Top 50 names for boys ANYWAY, and in fact my primary concern when selecting a boy name is “But is it too UNCOMMON to use?,” so I would still be Team Henry—EXCEPT, and possibly this is RIDICULOUS but I CANNOT SHAKE IT, I have a “Henry and the Sixth Month of the Year” association, an association that is also a movie, and for me that just kills the combination. The movie is over 30 years old, I never even SAW it, I haven’t read anything about Anaïs Nin since college—but still the combination is permanently stored in my brain as Famous Couple, and so FOR ME it wouldn’t work for a sibling set. But that movie is approximately the age of the parents of babies being born today, so presumably I represent a small subset of the population here—and if I encountered a sibling set with that name, I wouldn’t feel as if it were bizarre of the parents to have chosen it, the way I would if I encountered siblings named, say, Juliet and Romeo. I would be aware of both names as existing in many, many contexts other than that one single one that rings a bell.
I share your feelings about the nickname Pat. I think Patch is cute, and would be worth a try; my prediction is that in today’s naming climate he would end up going by Patrick. But I generally advise against using a name if either of the parents strongly dislikes one of the common nicknames for it. It would be nice to make a compromise something like “We name him YOUR first choice name, but on the condition that we DO NOT use the name Pat”—but there’s just no way to ensure the success of that plan. If the name Pat DID evolve, there’d be no backsies.
I don’t like the way the -m of Adam goes into the M- of your surname. It’s not at a level that has to be a deal-breaker, but it’s something I would want to think about ahead of time. I think the name itself is great: a name my eyes skip past in the baby name books because it feels so familiar, and yet I can hardly think of any Adams I know.
If your husband doesn’t like the name Graham, it seems like that’s an easy one to take off the list. On the other hand, we’ve had many letters where the gist was “This is my favorite name and my husband hates it!,” and then we get a follow-up saying “We used the name my husband hated!,” so I know to leave room. I don’t like the way the -m goes into your surname, and it feels like a bigger issue with Graham than with Adam; it comes very close to making a “grandma” sound. I know you said you’re not really looking for additional suggestions, but I will suggest Grant anyway.
I saved Andrew for last, because I want to find a way to make it work. For my firstborn, I wanted to give him a middle name that was after my favorite grandparent—but that name also happened to be the name of my first serious long-term boyfriend. I did end up using it, and now it doesn’t bother me at all, and feels like a slightly fun story. But…that was a middle name, and many of the people in my life at this point wouldn’t know (1) my child’s middle name OR (2) the name of my first serious long-term boyfriend. Though, also, I don’t know how many of my friends would be able to come up with the name of my sibling or Paul’s sibling, either. So maybe it’s okay? Ug, I don’t know. I guess it kind of depends on how terrible the sibling is. Are we talking about a situation where you would wince hard if you had to describe him, because he has done terrible hurtful things to others? or is he just kind of an uninspiring deadbeat? or is he just not close with whichever of you is his sibling, so it would be odd for his name to be an honor name? Are the people who would be surprised/confused also people who could be told “It’s NOT after the sibling!” and take that on board? Could you find another Andrew (historical figure, author, poet, scientist, artist, whatever) and claim to be honoring THAT Andrew?
I have encountered the same issue you’re encountering with boy names, which is that it is hard to find names that are both classic AND fresh. This is why Henry is so popular: it hits that mark. Other names that feel similar to me:
Calvin
Charles/Charlie
Clark
Dean
Elliot
Everett
Franklin
Frederick
George
Grant
Harvey
Ian
Leo
Louis
Nolan
Reid
Simon
Wesley
I think one issue is that we’re maxing out the current sets of Fresh boy names (Little Gentlemen names such as Henry, Oliver, Theodore; Hip Biblical names such as Elijah, Noah, Ezra), and we need the next batch—but that next batch has not yet hit its stride at a level that identifies it. (I think pretty soon it’s going to be the -bert and -ard and -ance/-ence names, but we shall see.)
Name update:
We got to meet our boy a little early (thankfully, since he was huge!). We loved many of the suggestions from the comments, especially Jack, and going into labor had narrowed it down to Jack Arthur or Patrick H@astings. As soon as he was born we both just felt like he was Patrick, or Patch/Patcher/Patchy as we’ve already been affectionately calling. His nickname will definitely be Patch but I think it will be the informal/family type, not how we introduce him to people. Based on the reaction of all of the hospital staff, it turns out Patrick these days is just about as fresh and unexpected as big sister’s name!
How about one of these for classic and fresh!
Alexander
Jack
Joel
Vaughn
Felix
Rubin
Emmett
Conrad
Wyatt
Louis
Russell
Barrett
Jonah
Malcolm
Caleb
Arthur
Adrian
Damian
Wesley
Zachary
Sebastian
Gabriel
Spencer
Victor
Spencer sprang to my mind as well. This is a great list!
If I had a daughter whose name is also the sixth month of the year, I would name her brother Theo.
I also know you are not looking for new names, but I know a family of five boys and four of the boys names are in Swistle’s list, so I thought I would share 5th boy name, just in case it hits the right spot for you – Owen. Obviously not obscure, but not currently in the Top Ten, so will be less popular than Henry.
Also, I am one of those alliteration fans and I’m loving Miles. Miles H@stings Meyer-with-an-s sounds like a cool poet or something.
I think both Miles and Owen sound good with sister name as well.
Came to add my +1 for Calvin!
Russell is another favorite that feels classic and fresh to me.
Oh! How about Roy? I think it would be a pleasant surprise to come across a little Roy these days.
But really, I think you should go ahead and use Henry. It’s a lovely name with a lot of good nicknames. Also, since it would be “6th month and Henry” rather than “Henry and 6th month” I think that would dilute any association with the movie (by the way, I’d never heard of it and really don’t think it would be a problem anyway).
I wonder if a nickname (Hal/Hank/Harry) would be enough to feel like you had less common options for Henry, should you run into another one.
It’s funny your mind went to that movie Swistle because my mind always goes to Benny&J00n (so much that I laughed out loud when I saw a local blogger choose that sixth month for a sister for P3nny. Anyways.
You said you’ve scoured the lists so I am only suggesting tweaks.
David: call him Davey? LOVE that. Or use Davis instead? That feels super fresh and jazzy to me.
Patrick: I love Patch. That would be the compromise – Patrick on paper, but Patch is the nickname. Pat is in grandparent / great aunt territory to me.
Andrew: I’d totally pass on this one. I’ve seen it more than once where a name is chosen but not for the honour and people talk about / take it that way anyways. It’s too bad because Andy is super fresh (maybe Toy Story helps)
Graham: this is one of my all-time fave names but I do know it’s pronounced differently in a few areas? I say Gray-um. Do you say Gram? Because yes, Gram Meyers has awkward flow. But Gray-um Meyers passed to my ear. Would your husband like Grady? It’s not steeped in history but it’s a surname.
Speaking of old fresh names, I met a baby W@lter nn W@lly recently and that was a whoa so good I think the world is ready.
I wanted to throw out:
Anders instead of Andrew?
Gilbert?
I wrote to Swistle a few years ago wanting to name my daughter Ruth but also not wanting to because it was already used in our family and to me had a bad association with a family member. I ended up using it anyway and it never became an issue. I think if Andrew is the name you love most then you should still go ahead and use it. I also like Patrick/Patch and agree that he will most likely be called Patrick if you call him that.
Swistle’s suggestion of Grant goes so well with your daughter’s name!
Have you considered using H@stings as the first name?
Using Andre/Drew/Anders instead of Andrew sidesteps the honorific and avoids possible nicknames you may not like.
I wanted to suggest Jared and Aaron. Like Adam and Graham, they are nickname proof without having the smooshed M issue.
I know you’re not looking for other names, but honestly that seems to be the best option. I love Swistles suggestions of Clark, Calvin, and Wesley. All fresh sounding but familiar!
I agree that David is a bit snoozy, but want to add a vote for Davey, or just Dave! Such sweet little man vibes to me.
What about Anderson?
Of the names on your list – I like Patrick the best, I agree about Pat but like swistle said I think it’s not a modern nickname.
Simon – has the same feel as June to me
Also Nolan I think works with your style
Lastly – what about Drew – just on it’s own?
I was going to suggest Anderson as well. Or alternately Drew by itself?
I had the same issue as Swistle with Henry. Famous couple from a book and movie, with the negative addition (for siblings) that my immediate connotation with both movie and book is that they’re very sexual (the movie was the first to be rated NC-17 rather than R). I think if someone said “Oh, like the movie Henry and 6th Month,” and at some point one of the children looked that up, that could feel mortifying for them. I would take it off the list.
Graham sounds different from Gram to me, so I don’t hear Gramma with the last name.
If you really don’t want the sibling named after, and it would keep coming up, I’d take Andrew off the list.
I’d add Theo to your list – it goes very well with your daughter’s name and your last name, and seems to hit the sweet spot of not too boring but very classic. Or Leo!
may I suggest Griffin, nn Griff? It’s got the warm, snappiness of June, seems classic but more unusual, same vibes as Graham, and sounds fantastic with your last name! It’s our son’s name and we feel the exact same about it that you do about June :)
Ha, this was our dog’s name (letter writer here). So we did love it! But in a different way :)
In my opinion, the name “J00n” has a cool factor that names like Henry and Andrew definitely lack. Patrick is a little better, but I agree that the nicknames aren’t great. From Swistle’s list, George seems like a standout. They sound so good together… George and J00n. Personally, I like repeating the R sound in your surname.
Have you considered Theodore? Theo and Ted are cool nicknames, but you could easily go without.
Maybe Oliver? Olly is another good nickname.
I also think Arthur could be nice. Artie and Art are great nicknames.
Lastly, maybe Roger? I knew a kid name Roger growing up that went by Ro, actually.
Congratulations, and best of luck!
A note that I have felt completely different about the name Roger ever since I heard that an old nickname for it was Hodge. HODGE!! Could you PERISH from cuteness???
I know a sixth-month named girl (about 8) and she has a 5 year old brother named Deacon. Maybe that would work for you? Their dad is Adam, which is another good name.
I love the name Henry, and using the nickname Hank gives it some freshness! At least for me. And I love with your daughter’s name. I also love Franklin nicknamed Frank or Roger nicknamed Hodge!! Personally, I would steer clear of a same-but-not-honor name. Assuming things with this brother already aren’t great, they are sure to tank when he learns your son has his name but you’re making it clear it’s not after him. Most of all, it feels like could be too delicate of a situation to have something as important as your son’s name involved. I wouldn’t want that for myself, if I were your son. But of course these situations are complicated! Good luck!
What about Walter?
Douglas, Gavin, Timothy, Wallace, and Raymond suggested themselves to me.
I also noticed my mind keeps wanting to rearrange everything to put potential son-names before your daughter’s name, probably because single syllable names sound sort of like punctuation to me when paired with anything longer. That took me on an inconclusive little mental journey, thinking of all the sibsets I can remember and trying to remember if their families had a consistent order they said their names in, and if so, what determined that order. It also made me look for single syllable boy names, which brought me to Ross.
I like Patrick, and I wonder if the nicknames Rick or Trick are in any way helpful.
I know my sister’s name made a sort of template for me of what names sound like family. I find myself drawn to all kinds of names and name-like words that have a similar progression of consonants. Thinking of that brought me to names that shared various kinds of phonetic similarity to Andrew like Ansel, Ender, Derrick, and Dennis…but I’m not sure any of those fit in with any of your other preferences, so probably aren’t very helpful.
Does Patrick called Paddy or Pac or Pax (pronounced like “Packs”) appeal?
I will suggest a new place to find names. Your daughter’s name was most popular in 1925, when it was #39. Have you read through the top 1000 names in 1925? Perhaps the name you are looking for is hidden there. Her number twin is Anthony, also at 39. Similar to Andrew – I wonder if it could feel fresh to you if you watched Bridgerton?
I would NOT name the baby Andrew. My aunt named my cousin the same (family) name as her SIL. She chose it in spite of the SIL and has still regretted it nearly every day since. The name is fully ruined. I shall not go on a tangent but – I say don’t do it. “Andrew the sibling” will always be the original Andrew. You may even end up with “big Andrew” and “little Andrew.”
I do love Roger called Hodge for you, as a previous commenter/Swistle suggested.
Apologies for any repeat suggestions:
Alden
Benedict
Coleman
Cornelius – called Lee, Corey, or Neil?
Sheldon
Stuart
Good luck!
William, Duncan, Nathan. I love Abner with the sister name, but maybe it’s too out there for you. Love the suggestion of Anthony, too, and I know one who pronounces it the British way, which is darling. It seems like George/ Charles could be in your wheelhouse, or maybe Vincent?
As the mother of a Henry in the northeast, which should be a hotbed of them by the numbers, we almost never meet any others, for what it’s worth. And oh it is a handsome name! Our daughters do not have names from the top 100 but there’s Henry at the top of the list, and I think that’s just fine for us. Perhaps you’d feel the same.
Davis instead of David?
Yes, this! Totally makes it fresh and surname-name style, which is trendy.
“-100%” 🤣
Adam. AdamAdamAdamAdam. This wasn’t a favorite when I could have used it and now….couldawoulda. It’s just so satisfying to say. Especially as much as you’ll being saying it for the first 5 years, haha. And to me Adam spins June a little more vibrant or fresh than others like “Henry or Alan” that could feel a little…not fresh?
Maybe just Drew?
I like how Swistle often mentions how everyone has different tolerance levels for different name related issues. I think the same applies to this. It certainly sounds like like a difficult situation but it could also turn out to be a much smaller issue than you or your family could anticipate. It is really up to you and your husband to determine what using this name will do to your own levels of comfort and discomfort.
I think as much as there’s potential for things to be troublesome there’s potential for things to be fine. I actually think that people are more likely to assume your Andrew was NOT named after the sibling if they’re aware of the issue that exists but that will certainly make them curious about why you DID choose Andrew.
It might also be easier than you think to explain to those people who are wondering about the sibling. “Funny that, but it just so happens to also be our favourite name” or “We know! Despite all of that, it was still the only name we could agree on.” It’s not as though you or your husband named the baby on your own. It was your best compromise as a couple. The fact that Andrew is a classic and well used name means it’s not tied to the sibling alone as it might with a lesser used named.
If you choose to go with Andrew, I do think you’ll need to be ready and understanding of some people’s initial surprise. In saying that, most if not all people should be understanding and accepting of your reasons for choosing the name. For some people, your Andrew will be their dominant association and the other Andrew will fade away. For others, they will get use to there being two Andrews in the family who were not named after anyone.
I hope it works out whichever name you decide!
As you have listed two of my son’s middle names I will throw out the other… Peter.
Good luck!
I like all of the boy names you listed (and we would have used Henry had our youngest been a boy) so here are some more I’ve either used for my own sons or really like.
Jack
Luke/Lucas
Micah
Vance
Ethan
Lewis
Grant
Also Miles!! Graham always make me think of Miles.
I’d keep Graham in your back pocket, just in case he changes his mind. It happens a lot and more often in the letter writer’s favor than the other way around, possibly because the parent who writes is the one more invested in naming.
Anyway, I like Andrew with the sibling name, but the relative sounds like a big hurdle you probably can’t get over. Both the (adult) Patricks I know go by the whole name. I’ve never heard Pat on a kid, so if it was just a question of whether he’d pick that nickname up somewhere along the way, I’d say it was a small risk. Your husband wanting to call him that makes it different, though. If you named him Patrick, the temptation to use his preferred nickname would be strong.
Since I’ve talked myself out of all of your top three except Graham, I’ll brainstorm some names that seem similar to me. Grant (which has been mentioned). Garrett. Gavin. Grady. Or leaving the Gs aside, Abraham, nickname Bram?
FWIW, my youngest was named Sixth Month until they changed genders and names. Their brother is named Noah. I liked their names together. Short, old fashioned, subtly linked with an n sound. (Long sigh.)
You could also put Henry back into consideration, even with its popularity. There’s nothing objectively wrong with having a popular name. It just means people like it.
George, Wilfred, Charles, Eugene, John/jonathan, Lewis, Walter, Albert, Jacob, Robert, Alexander, Ira, Edwin, Edward, Duane, Dwight, Arthur
Ok, as a Dana who is now in her 40s and has watched her name age with her to frustrating effect – maybe I STRONGLY endorse using a name with some proven staying power vs something trendy! I am so jealous of the Elizabeths and Claires of the world whose name doesn’t commit them to a specific 20 year window.
So, that being said – I think David would actually feel very fresh on a baby, it’s a handsome name, works in lots of languages which is always a plus, sounds great with June and Dave/Davey are great nicknames – big, big vote to reconsider David.
Other classic boy names currently under-used –
John
Thomas
Arthur
Jeremy
Paul
Peter
Frank/Francis/Franklin
Frederick
That being said, I like all the names on your list! You can’t really go wrong with any of them. Congrats!
What about Graeme instead of Graham? Would hubby go for that?
Eli
Edmund
Oscar
Frederick
Blaise
Simon
Philip
Letter writer here!! (Thanks Swistle for publishing!)
I just read all of the suggestions from Swistle and comments to my husband and we are digging Elliot and Jack. Elliot, we are worried about the spelling variants.
Poll: Is Jack a standalone first name? To me it’s such a nickname for John but we can’t use John, plus don’t really want to name him one thing and call him by a totally different name.
Also is the sister + brother combo too cutesy?
I know two baby Jacks who are standalone Jacks, not a nickname. Great name! I also know an Eliot and an Elliott. I find Eliot the easiest to remember how to spell since it’s just one of each letter.
Jack is totally a standalone name in this generation. Where I am (western Canada) it’s a Top 10 boy name – just Jack, so obviously lots of people agree.
I scanned the Eliot/Elliot/Elliott usage and I see people mostly go for the two Ls, then it varies on one T or two. I like the look of Elliot but that’s just my opinion. I’d see what’s most common in your area / state and use that so he doesn’t have to correct people too often, although it’s probably inevitable. But it’s such a great name – I LOVE it on a boy and with the sister name. (PS. I do know a few girl Elliots – one is Elliott and one is Elliette, both called Ellie mostly. That darn Ellie is so hot people are borrowing Elliott to get there for girls.)
Jack with the sister name is kinda cute, but not too cute. However, I’m a no-repeats kinda person. I use my kids initial often to refer to them. Again, just my preference, your family may love the repeats!
I had a grandpa Jack, not a nickname, actually named that. Also in my group of grandfathers was a John, a Philip, a Harvey, and a Charles. Grandpa John had a brother Henry, and a brother Archie.
But I was wondering if you liked Rupert? It repeats the vowel sound from your daughter’s name and it’s just so cute.
Both my husband and his sister share a name with an aunt / uncle…but are not actually named after those relatives. When I first joined the family, I found this extremely strange, but I got used to it and I can’t say it’s ever caused any issues as far as I can tell.
Also, for what it’s worth, the family I know that has a daughter with the same name as yours has a son named George, which does sound classic and fresh to me.
An anecdote from the other side of the “not an honor name” honor name situation: my cousin and his (then) wife named their daughter Marianna “because we just like the sound of the name”. My name is Marie and my mom’s name is Annette so even though we were told that it wasn’t an honor name, we still kind of wondered/took note and now that my cousin’s daughter is a teen we lovingly call ourselves “The Mary-Anna’s” in a fun bonding over names sort of way. All that to say, people will find or assume honor names anywhere despite evidence to the contrary.
If my daughter had been a boy I would have loved to use the name Louis but absolutely could not for the same reason: close relative that everyone would assume an honor name connection to, and we just couldn’t have stomached it. In particular it would have been hard telling the original Louis that “no, actually, we didn’t name the baby after YOU, we just like the name” because in my case the original Louis is a nice person who has made some terrible life choices that he openly regrets (hence not wanting to have a name connection between him and our baby) and not naming a baby after him would be like kicking him when he’s already down even if it would be understandable (even and especially to him). But I digress.
Funny that you mention the -Bert names, Swistle! Two of my friends had babies named Albert in the past 3 months! (“Albie” and “Bertie”)
I love the idea of a little Patrick nn Patch! Similarly to how I think Benji is just the best little boy nn for Benjamin (and I think the association with the dog movie has run it’s course…). I have a 5 yo who goes by Thomas, no nickname, so I share your love of classic boys names.
Other potential names that come to mind:
Winston
Amos
Luca/Lucas
Jack is a stand-alone name in addition to being used asca nickname for John and Jackson. Jack and June sound good together.
When I was pregnant with my second son I loved the name Graham, but my husband didn’t like it. I asked him about the name Grant instead, and he went for it! So our son is named Grant and I love it so much. Even more than Graham now.
June and Leo – it’s just the perfect set
How about Evan?
Patrick and Graham are really nice and handsome names.
What about these names
Simon
Ezra
Colin
Felix
Grant
Tobias
Silas
Duncan
Kyle
Gilbert
Alistair
Reid
Victor
Owen
Dexter
Calvin
Clayton
Brooks
Griffin
It seems to me you love the name Andrew if that is the name you deep down want to use I would go with it.
How about Rudy? Or Warren? I also really like swistles suggestion if Calvin! A bit more out there but Redford/Red?
Love the name June, good luck!
I have 1.5 year old twins Henry and Graham. There are like 4 other Henry’s in our daycare center! I am disappointed with how popular it is, but we have 3 boys total and agreeing on any names was hard! If you go to the SS website and look at name popularity by state it might help you decide if it is actually popular where you live. If it isn’t, you may feel better using the name?
Since you think Andrew would be the winner except it creates an awkward situation, could you feel the same about one of these similar names?
Matthew
Kendrew
Anders
Anthony
Arthur
Arnold
Everett
Evander
Instead of Henry, maybe:
Hank
Harvey
Harrison
Harry
Harold
Howard
Instead of Adam, maybe:
Aden
Alden
Aidan
Brayden
Liam
Ethan
Since your husband doesn’t like Graham, would he like:
Garett / Garrett
Gideon
Gordon
Grant
Possibly some alternatives to Patrick:
Merrick
Barrett
Kendrick
Warrick
Peter
Would any of the following appeal?
Henrik — it is like the best of both Henry and Patrick combined but without the hangs with each name.
Grady — it a nice compromise between Henry and Graham.
But out of your list, my favorites are Andrew and Patrick. Because of the awkward connection with Andrew, I’d probably go with Patrick but insist that his nickname is Patch.
I did something similar with our first born. My husband thought my preferred nickname was kind of silly (it reminded him of a famous movie dog beginning with the letter B) but I insisted that I very much disliked the other nickname options and this was the one I wanted everyone to use, and now he can’t think of an other nickname for our son… who is now 5.