Hi — I am currently pregnant with my 3rd (and final) baby – a boy due in November. Older siblings are named Georgia & James, 2.5 years apart. My husband and I are sold on the name Jack. This is a two-part question & gets interesting….
(1) Do you think James & Jack are too similar for brothers 2.5 years apart? I can’t shake Jack but don’t want to be blinded to future negatives once he is here (see part 2 on potential future negatives).
(2) My sister-in-law is also pregnant. NEWLY pregnant with her 2nd and not due until 3 months after me. At my son’s second birthday party a few weeks ago she announced that she loved the name Jack for a boy for them. They have the same last name as us. I was shocked, I had already told other family members we too loved the name (my husband especially) so we weren’t keeping it a secret but had not officially announced and decided on it. I bravely responded that we too love the name and her response was “you stole the name James from me, and NOW you are stealing Jack??” Might I mention that she waits to find out the gender at birth (we do not) and her first born is a girl. She told me that if her firstborn HAD been a boy his name was definitely Jack. I had no idea since she kept everything a secret! Since she is due after me, I don’t think I should wait to see if she has a boy to use the name. And now I’m secretly hoping it’s another girl for her so no more drama which doesn’t make me feel great. She also told me in front of family members that “Georgia, James, & Jack together are a bit much….” Is she right? Or is using Jack completely fine in this scenario… Trying not to be tainted by my sister-in-law’s reaction & opinion. Having the baby in November and now wondering if I should try and fall in love with a different name to keep the peace. IF so, do you have any names you would suggest? We love Eli & Hudson as well. Last name rhymes with Tickey.
Thanks!
Britt
I do think James and Jack are very similar brother names. And Georgia, James, and Jack is a noticeably alliterative choice, enough to draw comments. But it’s a very, very subjective thing: some people like similar sibling names, and some don’t; some people like sibling sets with matching initials/sounds, and some don’t. The main downside, I THINK, is that people will be more likely to mix up the names James and Jack than if the names were, for example, James and Eli. Which is not a huge downside, unless it would make you clench your teeth each time it happened.
It bothers me a little that one name in the sibling set is a nickname name; I think I’d be more inclined to name the third child John, and then they’d all have nickname options: Georgia/Georgie/Gigi, James/Jim/Jamie and John/Johnny/Jack.
I’m also not keen on the clackiness of Jack with the -ck- of your surname (especially if anyone pet-names Jack into Jacky, and then it’s Jacky [T]ickey), but again, that kind of repeating sound is very subjective, and one person’s not-keen-on-it is another person’s very-keen-on-it-indeed.
If we may speak privately for a moment, it sounds to me as if your sister-in-law is being a little mean, and not subtle either. And if we were actually chatting privately over coffee right now, I’d ask for more details on her other remark, the one about you stealing the name James from her. Does she have a legitimate complaint here? Like, it’s hard to claim dibs on a name as common-over-the-millennia as James—but if I were to look you in the eye very understandingly and ask for the whole story, do you think I would end up sympathetic toward her point of view? Are there perhaps additional things that would be useful for us to know, such as a family reason for her to want to use James/Jack? I wonder, too, if the fathers in this situation could perhaps have a quiet word and sort some of this out.
I do wish it were more common for people to just go ahead and use the names they liked, without worrying about duplication. It used to be MAD COMMON for cousins to have the same first/last names! And furthermore, many of them would be named after their parents/aunts/uncles/grandparents, so there could be an Elizabeth with a grandmother, mother, paternal aunt, and two cousins, all ALSO named Elizabeth! Everyone just basking in the family love/connections/history of it all!
Well. If you decide not to use Jack, let’s see if we can find some more options to consider. Eli is nice. Hudson feels like an odd choice in the sibling set: a sudden style departure from James, but a place name like Georgia.
If you want to stick with the similar-starting-sounds idea, the first name I think of is Jacob. Georgia, James, and Jacob. I like that everyone has a given name with nickname options. I like that Jake is similar to Jack. I don’t love how the -b of Jacob bumps up against the M- of your surname: my mouth has trouble making the transition.
Or Jared. I have the name Jared filed under Great Compromise Names in my mind, because I know of two families where the parents could agree on NOTHING—and then they found the name Jared and both loved it. Georgia, James, and Jared.
I’m undecided about whether to suggest Jasper. It might have the kind of freshness that would tempt you away from the name Jack. On the other hand, it feels like a very different style than James.
Or Jefferson. It has a surname sound like Hudson. It’s not as similar to James as Jack is, and adding another syllable provides even more difference. Georgia, James, and Jefferson.
Or Jonathan. I like that a little more than Jefferson as a brother name for James, but it still has the extra syllables. Georgia, James, and Jonathan.
Joseph is nice. Georgia, James, and Joseph.
Or Joshua? Georgia, James, and Joshua.
Oh, JOEL! I think Joel is such a warm, nice name, and underused but familiar. Georgia, James, and Joel.
Jude is a cool one-syllable name like Jack. I’m not sure about it with James. Georgia, James, and Jude.
If you’d be just as happy to abandon the similar starting sounds, here are some more names I like in the sibling set (I’m looking for classics like James and snappy sounds like Jack):
Benjamin; Georgia, James, and Benjamin. This puts the soft-G/J sound into the middle of the name, and also gives you the lovely nickname Ben.
Charles; Georgia, James, and Charles. I like how the matching S-but-with-a-Z-sound tie the two brother names together, without making them too matchy, and everyone can use nicknames if they wish to.
Clark; Georgia, James, and Clark. Clark is snappy like Jack, but fresher.
Davis; Georgia, James, and Davis.
Declan; Georgia, James, and Declan.
Elliot; Georgia, James, and Elliot.
Ezra; Georgia, James, and Ezra.
Garrett; Georgia, James, and Garrett.
Grant; Georgia, James, and Grant. I like the fun tie-in of using a name with a hard G: two kids would have matching LETTERS and two kids would have matching SOUNDS.
Leo; Georgia, James, and Leo.
Nathan; Georgia, James, and Nathan.
Nolan; Georgia, James, and Nolan.
Paul; Georgia, James, and Paul. Another warm, friendly name like Joel, and a good style fit with James.
Reid; Georgia, James, and Reid.
Name update:
I can’t thank you enough for answering my letter. It was therapeutic for me to write and to receive your answer & read the comments. As I read your response out loud I gasped at your very last suggestion as my husband & I had just started to strongly consider it. So on November 20 we welcomed sweet baby Reid into the world. We both agreed that Georgia, James, & Reid went so well together and he definitely doesn’t look like a Jack! We also kept our choice a secret until his birthday so that was a very fun announcement as I think all family members thought we were going to choose Jack and we received immediate positive feedback on how much everyone loved his name. The middle name is Foster which is an honor name that brought many happy tears. One commenter stated to pick a name we love even more than Jack and we did just that. I’m not sure I would have gotten there without the awkward convo with my sister in law or writing to you. Even my husband is grateful it all happened and we are all sincerely in a great place with each other.
Ohhh and my sister in law did end up having her baby too…. a baby GIRL.
This is tricky. Your sister in law does seem as if she’s being a little mean. I had a similar situation with my sister in law. It turns out she wanted to use the name we chose for our firstborn IF she ever had a fourth daughter. (So, a name she didn’t use the first three times she had girls) She was pretty upset with me, but we used it anyway and basically told her to go kick rocks. She got over it and loves her niece.
With that being said… I do love Jasper, Benjamin, and Davis. They seem to round out your sibling set a little better. Good luck with everything!
Only here to comment I know a family with a Jack and a James (in that order). They have 3 older sisters too. The boys are about 2.5 years apart. And Jack swears James is named Jesus, so there’s that…. Ok, maybe here to add it’s fun when family members share names. But mostly that Jack and James (or James and Jack) are fine as brothers. Good luck!
The part of me that is petty makes me want you to find a name that you love BETTER than Jack…and that your SIL secretly likes better than Jack too! And then when they USE Jack (because they said they would), it will be because you graciously gifted them the use of this name, but YOUR CHILD will have the best/preferred name. :)
I like lots of these suggestions too! I think Benjamin works particularly well (and I am not just saying that because I have a son named Ben). :)
I’m PETTY petty so if I decided on another name, I would for sure say something like “Eric is just so much fresher sounding than Jack, isn’t it?”
THIS IS THE ONE! And for the record, I think that name is Jasper! Jesse and Jem (or Jeremiah) would do very well too. I just realized Jesse James was an outlaw, so that probably won’t do, but i really quite like James and Jem, in fact the similarity seals the deal. Maybe Josiah nn Josse or just Josse. I still vote Jasper over all.
SIL also seems a bit witchy and toxic based on how she chose to address the situation, and those type of people will absolutely hold grudges against children for things that are outside of their control. That alone would have me considering other names. That being said, Jack is adorable with your sibset, and really not that similar to James at all, if SIL is not at all how I judged i would use it. James and Jack together remind me of the children’s brand Janie and Jack.
I have a Jack and a James, actually, though Jack is a nickname for something totally unrelated and yes, they are very close looking but they don’t sound as similar as you would think from the spelling. Personally I would not do another J (or G) name under any circumstances even though I have two other non j/g named children. (It gives me 19 kids and counting vibes).
I also have a contentious naming relationship with my sister in law and I am the mean(er) one. Unless, like Swistle mentioned that she has a really good reason to “claim” to Jack (like her brother who died was named Jack, or something very personal like that) I say disregard her opinion and do what you want. She’ll be mad but she’ll get over it.
The name nerd in me doesn’t like Jack and James (and Georgia) together much. It’s too much of the same sound for one sibset. But as Swistle says, that’s preference and only yours counts.
I’m here to suggest Elijah nn Eli or JACK! I mean, why not? The sound is right there at the end. And if you’re a nice SIL, you’ll wait to see if they even have a Jack before starting to call him that. And if you’re not (and you don’t have to be) use whichever he suits better. Eli? Jack? Try them out. Elijah fits so much better with semi-formal Georgia and formal James.
It sounds like your relationship with SIL needs some maintenance, if you’re inclined. To publicly say all that she said, sounds to me like she’s hurting inside somehow. If she truly feels that you stole her one boy name and now you’re stealing her other boy name, yup I could see some bitterness. But I agree with Swistle that it would be good to hear the back story there. My mom once told her SIL her two favourite girl names (for if I ever had a sister) and guess what? SIL waited only a year before using both names on her daughter. My mom never quite forgave her for that.
OK, I LOVE the idea of Elijah! And it includes the j-g sound, just not up front. Sounds so good with Georgia and James!
James and Jack are fine but I kind of wonder if Jack is a little tainted now? I remember a story recently where in-laws both wanted the same girl name (maybe it was Saskia?) and the writer (who gave birth first) chose a different name and I think the other family did too funny enough . I also like Jonathan a great deal, especially with the rhythm of the last name. Jude is a little hard to say with Tickey but might not be with what rhymes with it and I adore it would James and Georgia. I wonder if Graham might be fun—another G name but with a hard-G?
Harvey, Miles and Theodore are also fun names that sound great with Georgia and James and the last name.
I had a few details wrong but here is the post:
https://www.swistle.com/babynames/2019/06/07/baby-girl-mrcus-sister-to-clio-and-melusine/
your SIL sounds like she is being obnoxious but also georgia, james and jack gives me a duggar feel
For what it’s worth, Jacob is technically the same name as James. People vary wildly on how much they care about that kind of thing, and the names certainly sound quite different, but it’s something to be aware of and consider which side of the caring spectrum you fall on.
Jack Tickey kind of runs together. Makes it sound like an adverb. What a “Jacktickey” situation, very “jackitty” indeed.
What about Nolan? Eli? Asher? Connor?
Oops, I meant adjective!
I am AGOG at the sister-in-law’s behavior here.
I know a family with Jack, James, and Jude. This was intentional as both parents have J names as well. But I don’t think Jack and James are too similar at all. If you can yell them across the house and the kids can tell which kid you mean, you’re good.
I meant aghast. That’s the one I am.
I like the book The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats — so I vote for Ezra Jack. I also think Ezra Jack sounds fun together. If your SIL has another daughter, you still have the option to use Jack as a nickname for your son.
Ezra shares the A ending of Georgia and the Z sound in James, so there are tie-ins to both siblings’ names.
I don’t think it’s too much g/j, but I like alliteration. I do prefer Jack as a nickname, though. John’s traditional, but Jackson could work, too. There’s a place name link to Georgia and as people have suggested with other names, you could call him by the full name while you waited to see if your SIL has a boy. That is, if you want. You don’t have to, by any means. I liked the suggestion of Elijah, too. Georgia, James, and Elijah is a very nice sibset.
I suppose there’s a chance that before either of you had children, your SIL mentioned liking James and/or Jack and now feels aggrieved because she believes that you must have remembered this when choosing names. But it sounds more likely that by “stealing,” your SIL means merely that you happened to use a name she wanted. If so, I think you’re fine to do whatever you like.
If it were me, I think I wouldn’t want another “J” sound in the sibset or the name Jack with the surname, and I love many of the non-J suggestions that have been made, especially Benjamin and the hard-G suggestions of Graham and Grant.
However, I agree with others that it’s subjective, so for “J” sounds, I like the suggestion of Jonathan, which could also be nicknamed Jack, Jon/Jonny, or Nat. Also, have you considered Judson in place of Hudson? It has more history as a name, so it goes better with James to me, and it might have Jude as a nickname even though the sounds are slightly different.
My two oldest nephews are two years apart, and their names are James and Jack! The similarity has never been an issue — I think the different vowel sounds help them from being too same-y. (I actually think James and Jacob/Jake seem closer and more likely to be confusing.) I also don’t think the alliteration is a problem, unless YOU think it is. That said, given the drama with your sister-in-law, it can’t hurt to consider some other options too.
I know several sibsets with a James and a Jack… and though they look similar, they actually have different sounds. And I think James, Jack and Georgia sound adorable together.
Re Jacob/Jake- Jacob and James are technically the same name- although most people do not know that. I also feel like Jake and James are a bit too similar because of the long a sound.
I wouldn’t worry about using a name with nicknames since most James these days go by their full names (not Jim/Jamie).
Finally, I have a James, and Jack was also on our list. Others we love: Bennett, Luke, William/Will, Charlie (nn for Charles)
Oh and I wouldn’t worry about the sister in law :) Use the name you love.
Good luck!
I feel like, if Jack is THE name, use it! I think Georgia, James, and Jack is such a snappy and sweet trio. She can sit on it.
I just LOVE the Elijah suggestion!!
Another vote for Elijah as it’s such a satisfying solution with the nickname Eli and the subtle J in the middle.
I have a three J boys in my mix. People do mix them up a lot. My kids aren’t particularly bothered by that. As they get older it matters less and less as they know different people now (two are teens).
Something I never considered: as they got older they started using nicknames I hadn’t chosen. This made their names LOT more similar. The nicknames, naturally were all about their friend group so paid no mind to their siblings at all in the decision process. Think something like Georgie, Jimmy and Johnny. (Caveat I’m Australian and nicknames here for boys often end in ‘y’ or ‘o’ sounds so if you have the same initial you end up with very similar names).
A few thoughts:
I don’t think James and Jack are too close to use. Personally, I would probably go with a longer name that can be nicknamed down to Jack like Jackson, especially since the siblings have longer, non-nickname names. Georgia, James, and Jackson.
I’m also a sucker for fun alliteration as my two sisters and I are all “J” names. If Jack is your absolute favorite name and you don’t mind possibly upsetting your SIL, then go for it! Like Swistle said, I’m a little miffed at all of the “OH NO! We cannot use x-name because a cousin or second sound or kid at church or neighbor down the street have that name”. There used to be a billion little Johns and Johnnys running around, and no one batted an eye. In the last 2-3 decades, I think we as a society have become a little too preoccupied with being the “only” {insert name} in our immediate circles and claiming “ownership” over specific names… Maybe it is the pregnancy hormones. Maybe it is the raise of celebrity-worship and social media fame. I dunno but I don’t think it is healthy for us as individuals or as a society. So I see no qualms with your little one being a Jack (and/or Jackson) and his cousin also being a Jack.
If you are the type of person who is concerned about upsetting others, not making waves, or avoiding family drama, then you may want to find a name you like better than Jack. It is possible that SIL heard the name Jack from you or the family grapevine and it is stuck in her head right now. It may even be possible, though you may not remember, that this happened in reverse: is it even remotely possible that SIL shared her like of the name Jack a while ago (maybe even years ago) and now it is stuck in your head? It is also possible that you both just share very similar preferences when it comes to names so, since you had two sons first, she is afraid she won’t be able to use her long-held favorite names that maybe she was dreaming of using for many, many years (even secretly in her heart).
My older sister and I have fairly close naming preferences. She had 4 kids before I even had 1 so for our 3 boys, some my “like very much” names were already used by my 3 nephews (either first or middle names)! And the name of our second son was actually their boy pick had their last child been a boy instead of a girl. I had absolutely no idea about that until after we announced his name. We laughed about how similar our naming preferences were.
All that said, if you are close to your SIL or would like to be closer, maybe this is an opportunity to prevent hurt and drama but involving her in the naming process. You are both pregnant at the same time but you are further along and have the opportunity to name your baby first. You might be able to have baby name chats… and you can get a better idea of her naming preferences compared to your own. It also might be a good way to gently re-enforce your love of the name Jack (Be honest with her and give her a chance to actually have a conversation instead of snippy remarks: “I just love the sound of the name Jack, but I’m a little worried James and Jack are too similar. What baby names are you all considering? What names have you crossed off your list?”)
In my family we have several cousins with the same names, including my mom’s cousin and I. My cousins Danny. My nephew and cousin, Shane. Several Estelles and Esthers. Two Devorahs. Annies here, there, and everywhere. At least four Benjamin’s. Five Emmas.
Name your son what you want. But also, I like Elijah.
I think Eli and Hudson both sound a lot better with your last name and the older siblings, and aren’t tainted by family drama. Plus they’re both less common than Jack, so less likely to have to go by “Jack T.” at school and in sports. And I think that all J sounds give a Duggar vibe (although maybe their relevance/fame is finally fading?) and backs you into a corner if you have a fourth child. I also really prefer different first initials for each kids for ease of labeling. I do think that Georgia, James, and Jack pass the playground/shouting from across the house test in that their sounds are easy to distinguish from each other (whereas James and Jake, I think are too close).
If you love the name Jack use it your sister in law will likely get over it very quickly.
Simon
Owen
Felix
Clark
Emmett
Silas
Francis
Harvey
Cyrus
Bennett
Conrad
Patrick
Oscar
Reuben
Calvin