Baby Girl or Boy C@mero

Hi Swistle,

I’ve read your blog for YEARS and now find myself needing your assistance. We are due in November with our first baby and are not finding out gender. We are very set on a boy’s name (Samuel) and should have no issues with a middle name.

We are STUCK on girl’s names. Our top two favorite names are Emilia and Everly (both E names completely unintended). We think for this first girl we are leaning with Emilia. We originally were going for Amelia but changed to the Emilia spelling for the nickname option of Emi, which we love. So first question: will Emilia have to go through her life spelling her name over and over? Are we making a mistake choosing Emilia over Amelia?

Our second (and biggest) problem is middle names. We actually really love boy names on girls but want to stick with a traditional girls name for first name and possibly a boy-ish name for middle name. However, are having a truly difficult time finding one that flows well with Emilia. So far we have come up with:

Emilia Logan (current front runner)
Emilia Parker
Emilia Ryan (we know some Ryan’s, so iffy on this)
Emilia James
Emilia Evan (not sure we love the double E’s)
Emilia Riley

We’ve said these names aloud so many times that they’re all starting to sound the same and like none of them flow well. Can you and your readers give us some insight or suggestions? Should we give up the desire for a boy name?

We definitely plan for more kids, hopefully no more than 2 girls because really the only other girl name we have is Everly. We would probably do the same naming style for her if we can get Emilia to work.

Please help give this kid a name! :)

 

Yes, a girl named Emilia will have to spell her name over and over. But my name is Kristen and I have to spell it over and over, and it’s no big deal: some names just have more than one spelling, and it gets to be a habit to clarify: “My first name is Kristen: K-r-i-s-t-E-n.” It helps that the popularity of Em- names has made the Emilia spelling significantly more common in recent years: it spent decades not even in the Top 1000, but as of 2020 is the 40th most popular girl name in the United States (the spelling Amelia is #6). And if she uses the nickname Emi, that too will help guide people’s minds to the correct spelling.

I am not personally a fan of the trend of giving girls names-currently-used-more-often-for-boys as middle names, primarily because it annoys me that the trend does not go the other way: we are not hearing of a similar edgy trend of baby boys being given middle names such as Jane and Rose. (If the middle name candidates for Samuel include such names, then I withdraw my complaint.) But my own preferences are irrelevant for any babies not my own, and I think the middle name position is a terrific place for names you’d like to use as first names but have decided not to for one reason or another. I don’t see any particular flow issues with Emilia + any of the middle names you list: I think they all work well. I tripped a little bit over Emilia Parker C@mero—but the three names will hardly ever be said together, so that feels like a non-issue. One thing to watch out for: making sure you don’t accidentally use any names you may wish to use for future boys (or names that would rule out other names for you, if your preference is to avoid even similar names).

As far as I know, there is no way to find out usage information on middle names—but based solely on what people mention in their letters to this site, I can tell you that James seems to be far and away the most common of the names-currently-used-more-often-for-boys chosen as a middle name for girls. This could be a plus or a minus, depending on what you’re looking for.

If it helps, we can also look at the 2020 usage of these options as FIRST names in the U.S.:

Logan: 992 F, 9086 M
Parker: 2121 F, 3797 M
Ryan: 678 F, 5286 M
James: 63 F, 12250 M
Evan: 87 F, 3389 M
Riley: 5309 F, 1350 M

From this we can see that the name James is currently the most used-more-often-for-boys of the options, usage-wise: 12,250 new baby boys named James in 2020, and only 63 new baby girls. The name Riley, in contrast, is currently used more often for girls than for boys—and the numbers above don’t even take into account all the other spellings (another 2,677 new baby girls and 127 new baby boys named Rylee; another 1,742 new baby girls and 15 new baby boys named Ryleigh; etc.).

If Emilia Logan is your front-runner, I don’t see any reason not to go with that, or any reason to choose a different name instead.

Since this is your first child and you’re planning more, I’ll mention that I do notice that Emilia and Everly are very different styles, and also that Emi and Evvie are very similar-sounding nicknames, in case either of those situations affects which name you wish to use now. I would expect a child named Emilia to have sisters with names such as Eleanor and Sofia and Violet; I would expect a child named Everly to have sisters with names such as Emerson and Hadley and Brinley or (maybe not those exact ones, because of the repeated -ley—but names LIKE those). The two names aren’t startling together (the shared E- helps, I think: Amelia and Everly looks a little more surprising to me), and not all parents prefer for names to coordinate in style, but it’s the sort of thing I like to think about ahead of time, just to make sure I don’t make things difficult for myself later on. (We very nearly used the name Emerson for our first child, without realizing that our usual style for girls was more like Josephine and Elizabeth, names I don’t think coordinate well with Emerson, and we DO like at least some level of coordination; luckily, our first child was a boy, and by the time we had a girl we’d realized.) (Not that it would have mattered, since we had only one girl. BUT ANYWAY.)

23 thoughts on “Baby Girl or Boy C@mero

  1. Renée

    I think of surname names as belonging to any child. So of your list of middles I like Logan and Parker best (though I know most of the others are surnames as well, less common.) With the M repeating in both the first and surname, I think it would flow nicely as a middle initial:

    Emilia Mason C-
    Emilia McCoy C-
    Emilia Murphy C-
    Emilia Meyer C-

    Or would you like Jones or Brooks or Porter or Connor?

    Also wondered if you’d want to combine Emilia and Everly into Emerie / Emery? I know that’s a unisex name, but it gets your Emi nickname and avoids Amelia mixups. Where I am, Emerie isn’t common, but used more for girls. Amelia is one of those names I KNOW is popular on paper, but I only know one who is a teenager and 3 little Emilias, so now I would probably mishear Amelia as Emilia.

    Reply
    1. Moll

      One of the girls in the big family next to my parents is named Emory. I’ve watched her grow up and her name suits her. I have heard of spelling the name Emarie to get Marie in there, in case it’s an honor name in your family.

      Speaking of — I know not everyone likes honor names, but maybe a family surname or a male/unisex name of a loved one would fit in the middle? If not I like E sounds! Emilia Ethan, Emilia Evan, Emilia Ellis (!), Emilia Elliot. I think it reminds me of Emily Elizabeth from Clifford!

      Reply
  2. ab

    I like Emilia James C. James is a great middle name for either a boy or girl, and it was actually what I thought of before I read that it was a name your were considering. : )
    Parker would be my second choice from your list.

    Emilia Glenn C. sounds nice. You could go with either Glenn or Glen.
    Emilia Charles C. is another option.

    Reply
  3. Iris

    I like Emilia James and Emilia Riley. I agree that nicknames Emi and Evy are something to consider if you really want the names Emilia and Everly.
    Of course you can pick Emily instead. Similar to both names and you can use the nickname Emi. Emi James is adorable!

    Reply
  4. rlbelle

    My middle name preference with Emilia was right away James, which apparently makes me very conformist, lol. I like Emilia Logan as well. Ooh, or George – Emilia George C@mero.

    And on Swistle’s other note, I feel like Jane could be a great middle for a lot of boy names. Charles Jane! Edward Jane! William Jane! Also, Rose. Alexander Rose. Ethan Rose. Man, now I know what my brain will be doing the rest of the day.

    Reply
  5. Laura

    I think all of the names flow nicely. I wondered if you had a male honor that you wanted to focus on or whether there is a family surname that fits with your trend?

    Reply
  6. Erin Beth

    I like your options. Other I admire:
    Em!l!a Sloane
    Em!l!a Brett
    Em!l!a Drew
    Em!l!a Kirby
    Em!l!a Lane
    Em!l!a Devon
    Em!l!a Blake

    Reply
  7. A Cat

    Ooo, a vote for Emilia Evan. We just had a student teacher named Emilia, and she was lovely in a funky, creative Digi tech teacher way. I think Emilia Evan flows nicely, and I like the double ‘e’. It reminds me of ee cummings, which is for me a positive association.

    Reply
  8. Elisabeth

    Emilia Everly kind of fits what you want to do, too, so why not, since you like both names? As for the EE, it was actually my childhood nickname and I rather liked it. (It got shortened to just E somewhere along the line.) I always liked the curliness of my E&Cs together when written in fancy fonts, too.

    I think all your ideas are pretty solid. Personally, I’d probably go with Emilia Parker from your list, ’cause its the easiest for my poor speech-impeded tongue, lol. But, of course, speech impediments are pretty uncommon in big people. I’d also avoid James. It’s too much of a boy’s name in my family. Jamie, (the English version), though, is unisex and even at its height was never that high. What about Emilia Jamie? It’d be quite startling and I don’t think it’d be in a bad way.

    Reply
  9. Katie

    I actually much prefer Emilia to Amelia. It changes the feel of the name, more friendly, I guess is how Id describe it. It’ll only get more common as time goes on thanks to Amelia’s popularity, so I imagine the fuss would be minimal. Especially with Emi as her nickname.
    Some boy/unisex names I really like on girls are August, Quincy, Jones, Brooks and Cooper
    Of which, I really like Emilia Jones C and Emilia Quincy C
    I also really like Everly August C if you decide to go that route.
    Someone mentioned Emilia Everly, so I’ll throw in Emilia Everest, Emilia Everett, and Emilia Ever.

    I’d also like to mention that I have seen Rose, Marie and Mary used as middle names for boys (most often in Catholic name announcements) as well as personally knowing of a boy with the middle name Margaret.
    I considered Jade as a middle name for a boy, but it’s similarity to James, Cade, Jaden, etc keeps it from qualifying as a name used mostly for girls in the way Swistle is meaning.

    Reply
  10. Cupcakes

    What about Blaise (or Blaze) for the middle name?

    Emilia Blaise

    I also like the nickname Millie for Emilia.

    Are Amelia and Emilia pronounced exactly the same?
    I’d tend to say “Amelia” with more of an “Uh” sound at the beginning and Emilia with more of an “Eh” sound, if that makes sense. But maybe they’re the exact same?

    Reply
    1. Moll

      Me too! They’d sound similar, but I’d say Emilia with a starting sound like ever, and Amelia with a schwa like about or around. I could see it getting misheard though.

      Reply
  11. Jean C.

    Emilia is great and the nickname Emi is delightful. I like all of the options, but I especially like James, Riley and Logan. But I do want to say…Emilia Everly sounds amazing and what you think would “for sure” be a second daughters name might not end up being The Name during a second pregnancy (raising my hand over here). I would seriously consider using it. Also Everly does seem like a unisex style name and fits in with the other middle name options.

    Reply
  12. A

    Emilia is a gorgeous name! I prefer the spelling of Emilia to Amelia

    I like Emilia Parker the most from your list!

    I like the repeated M sounds in Emilia Morgan
    I like the alliteration of Emilia Elliot
    I like the shortness of Emilia James, Emilia Blake, Emilia Blair, Emilia Ray

    Reply
  13. AlexiswithaG

    What about baby #2- if #1 is a girl will Samuel still
    Going to be a definite if #2 is a boy? If so, I would weigh “Sam” and “Emi” as paired nicknames. They are SO similar, that’s either a pro or a con.
    Evie and Sammy- Evie and Sam
    Emi and Sammy- Emi and Sam

    Those M sounds are just so prominent.

    Reply
    1. AlexiswithaG

      I’ve been rolling it around since yesterday and I think it’s when I say “Sam and Emi” that it stands out to me as ‘too many Ms.’

      Sam and Emi
      SamAndEmi
      Samandemi
      Samanemi…. as in, yada yada the kids “samanemi”

      Reply
    1. Carrie

      Jumping on the bandwagon to say that I also prefer Emilia with an E. It sounds beautiful but also looks so pretty when written.

      For middle names I love the sound of Emilia James but as Swistle said it is such a popular middle name for girls these days. From your list I like Emilia Parker but sort of love the flow of a one syllable middle name. Other one syllable middle names could be…
      Emilia Blake
      Emilia Tate
      Emilia Jay
      Emilia Jack
      Emilia Hayes
      Emilia Wren
      Emilia Wells

      I also think that Emilia and Everly really compliment each other as a sibling set. They may not technically fall into the exact same name category but they have a similar vibe and if I heard those names together on the playground I would think “Ooh, those are great names!”

      Reply
  14. Dana

    Oh man I hope you take Swistle’s gentle rec and leave the boys names alone. It’s very tired and kind of retrograde how they’re used – it’s COOL and GOOD for girls to be associated with masculine traits but still totally wrong/abnormal for boys to be associated with the feminine. See the sexism at play there? Don’t do it!

    Reply
  15. Maddison

    I personally think you could find a classic girls name that’s also a bit spunky and maybe a tad boyish. I’d scrap Emilia and try

    Greer
    Allison
    Meredith
    Dinah
    Wendy
    Quinta
    Reina
    Leslie
    Tyra
    Wynne
    Gwen
    Maxine
    Justine
    Francine
    Elowen

    I’m obsessed with the idea of Justine Parker & Maxine Riley nn Jules & Max for sisters however I think if you want to go with Everly for a sister Tyra Logan & Everly Parker nn Ty & Ev is also perfect.

    Reply
    1. Maddison

      Actually I’m back. I feel like I didn’t explain why no to Emilia enough. You clearly like names with spunk , few syllables (3 at most) and a strong sound. Emilia is willowy and romantic. Which is fine but absolutely not your style and I think because it’s so out of your wheel house you would later regret it. Especially as I feel there are names that fit your bill better. I also think Justine Parker & Allison Riley nn Jules & Al would work better.

      Also here’s some more suggestions –

      Jaclyn
      Shannon
      Monica
      Jillian
      Dawn
      Renee
      Kylie
      Nicole (if you know too many Nicoles Nicola or Nicolette would also work)
      Donna
      Valerie
      Colleen
      Kendra
      Shanna
      Bridget
      Adrienne
      Joanne
      Jayla
      Eileen
      Carmen
      Jenna
      Jayda (you could also spell it Jada but Jayda has the nickname Jay built into it)
      Jenelle
      Wanda
      Marlene
      Kenna
      Darcy
      Ingrid
      Brenna
      Kyra
      Denise

      I highly recommend checking out the top names from the 70’s – they fit quite well into your wheelhouse.

      Combo ideas –

      Ingrid Sawyer
      Dawn Riley
      Jenna Jordan
      Tyra Logan
      Justine Parker
      Maxine Riley
      Allison Riley
      Gwen Avery
      Colleen Joey
      Quinta Ray
      Wanda Blake
      Jayla Ryan
      Bridget Emerson
      Shannon Blake
      Monica Avery
      Jenelle Ryan
      Brenna Finley
      Renee Parker

      Sibling sets –

      Jenelle Ryan & Tyra Logan nn Jen & Ty
      Allison Riley & Justine Parker nn Al & Jules
      Kendra Evan & Jillian Sawyer nn Kenny & Lian
      Wanda Blake & Dawn Riley
      Jenna Jordan & Monica Avery nn JJ & Mo
      Jenelle Ryan & Jayda Evan nn Jenn & Jay

      Personally my top choice for you is Tyra Logan – I think it’s spunky , has a boyish nickname and I think it’s unexpected but not crazy for Tyra to have a sister named Everly. Second place I vote Jenelle or Jayda.

      Reply

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