Hello!
I really didn’t think I would ever have the need to write in with another question after you helped name our daughter a few years ago but here we are. =)
I am currently pregnant with our third (and last) baby, a boy, due in mid-September and we are absolutely stuck on a name for him and can’t find any names that we both love and agree on.
Our oldest son is 4 and named Jameson Penn after both grandpas and my husband who all share the name James. We call him both Jameson and James equally. Our daughter is 2 with the full legal name of Natalie but exclusively called Tilly. From our last pregnancy, I emailed you with the dilemma of loving the name Tilly for years but both my husband and I not liking the full name Matilda for the nickname, You suggested that Tilly could be a stretch for Natalie and we fell in love with the name combo immediately. Even to this day, I still get so giddy (and so many compliments) on her name. Her middle name is Juliette named after my mother-in-law for an honor name.
And now almost three years later, we have found ourselves in a very similar bind somehow. It is rare for my husband and I to agree on a name so we both end up just putting our favorites on a list which now includes 29 names which only seems to be growing as time goes on. His front runner is Samuel which I do love but I can’t stand the nickname Sam which I know it would inevitably turn into. MY front runner is Lance. I love, love, love the name Lance. My husband also really likes it and says that it would definitely be our top choice if it wasn’t for the nickname issue AGAIN.
Our last name is a one-syllable, short, harsh-sounding German name sounding like a mixture between Trout and Trash. Lance T________. Just doesn’t have the same flow as Jameson or Natalie and seems too harsh. And, just like Matilda, we don’t like Lancelot to get the nickname. I went online to look for alternatives and there really doesn’t seem to be any for Lance except I saw one Reddit commenter say that she used Lawrence with the nickname Lance. And again I fell in love! For so many reasons, this seems to be the perfect solution! This final baby will be named after my mom as the last grandparent honor name with the middle name of Beck for Becky. So that means all three of my babies will have an honor name covering all their grandparents and dad and I am the only one left out as the mom. I’m so happy we did the honor names and don’t regret them at all but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little salty that, as the mother, I kind of get left out.
My first name is Courtney and before becoming a stay at home mom, I worked in the legal field which was always a joke with the name association with teasing of “Courtney goes to Court” etc. I LOVE that LAWrence and COURTney would have a very small connection (and I am in no way implying that he would be in the legal field as well or pressuring him into that) but I find it a cute name-match that probably only I would think of.
This time around though, I’m surprised at the push back I am getting from my husband and other close family members about it being too much of a stretch to use Lance for Lawrence compared to using Tilly for Natalie. I feel like it’s the same amount of stretch and unusual for both but workable. I’m hearing comments that it will be too confusing, people won’t get the association, Lawrence and Lance are two different styles while Natalie and Tilly aren’t, etc. So I’m curious what your readers and name-experts think. Is Lance too much of a weird stretch to come from Lawrence? Is it weird that we would have two kids with longer names but nicknames only used for them while our oldest doesn’t have that issue? Are there any other problems you could foresee with this name combo? I’ve never wished for a longer last name more than I do when I’m pregnant because it would solve so many of my problems with my love for short nicknamey-type names as first names. I appreciate your help and I promise to update you when the baby comes in a couple of months!
Courtney T.
I agree with you: I don’t think Lawrence/Lance is any more of a stretch than Natalie/Tilly, and I think it’s a clever solution to the problem. I greatly dislike the argument I’m about to make (when people make this argument to me, I INVARIABLY think “sure, theoretically this makes sense, but on the other hand those other nicknames came about naturally and this one didn’t, so”), but if this is the perfect time and place for it, then here is how it goes: “If Meg and Maggie can be nicknames for Margaret / If Betsy and Libby can be nicknames for Elizabeth / If Ned can be a nickname for Edward / If Ted can be a nickname for Theodore / If Hank can be a nickname for Henry / If Dottie can be a nickname for Dorothy / If Kit can be a nickname for Katherine / If Jimmy can be a nickname for James / If Nell can be a nickname for Eleanor / If Larry can be a nickname for Lawrence—then what’s so much stranger about Lance?” (And I’m trying to choose the more familiar ones, here! I’m not even getting into Sadie and Sally for Sarah; Polly for Mary; Daisy for Margaret!)
Furthermore, I think having a nickname that’s a different style from the given name is not only Highly Desirable but also Typical: it’s one of the APPEALS of a long formal name, that so many of them come with different-style nicknames! Maybe Margaret feels like it’s a bit much for a baby, but Daisy/Maggie are just right; maybe Charles seems a little formal for a toddler, but Charlie works beautifully; Theodore is so dignified/elegant but cute Teddy is perfect for now; Leopold is heavy but Leo is light. Etc. That’s the way nicknames WORK! No one says “Oh, but Posey is such a different STYLE from Josephine”! On the contrary: around the world we have parents saying “I’d love to use my grandparent’s name, but it’s so old-fashioned; can we think of a good nickname for it, to make it more usable?” Which is what, as it turns out, you’ve reverse-engineered in this case, if reverse-engineered is the term I want. (Do you have a Lawrence in the family tree anywhere? I think that would make this EVEN BETTER.)
I don’t think it’s weird to have two kids with near-exclusive nickname usage and one who uses both a given name and a nickname: this is the kind of thing that can feel important during the naming process, but later on no one notices/cares. It helps, too, that one kid with a nickname solution is a girl and the other is a boy. And that a lot of people won’t even know Tilly/Lance are nicknames: we know a bunch of Liams, and for most of them I don’t know which are given-name Liams and which are short for William; we know a fair number of Bradys, and for most of them I don’t know which are given-name Bradys and which are short for Braden. And perhaps Jameson will choose to go exclusively by James in the future, and people won’t even know it’s a nickname and will think THAT is his given name. I don’t think this matters, is what I’m trying to say.
I hesitate to mention this issue, because I find I don’t want to say anything against the name Lawrence, but with your surname I believe it could be misunderstood as the name Lauren. We have a family friend whose name is Liam Mason, and it is almost uncanny how often people even in our own household think someone just said Leah Mason. Lawrence Tr____ is not as blendy, but could still be heard as Lauren Str_____. But it sounds like you’d be calling him Lance almost all the time, so it would not come up the way it does with our friend Liam.
I would also like to add that I think Lance T____ works fine (similar to the famous singer Lance Bass), and that it’s not necessary for sibling names to share similar flows. But I see what you mean about preferring something longer and perhaps less consonant-rich. Still, I think if I were you I would go for the name I really wanted rather than finding a work-around. It’s just that at this point I like your work-around so much—but NORMALLY I would be saying no, just use Lance, don’t use a name you don’t want to use in order to get the name you DO want to use, when the problem you’re trying to solve (two one-syllable names in a row, like Brad Pitt or Glenn Close) doesn’t have to be a problem.
I don’t think it’s better than Lawrence, but I should mention the possibility of Clancy. I personally prefer the jump from Lawrence, though: the -Cl- blend at the beginning of Clancy makes it more difficult for my mind to separate out the nickname.
I wonder if you would like Lanson. Clearly there is a repeating-endings issue with your first son’s name, but I see a fair amount of this in the wild, and no one seems upset by it. Jameson/James, Natalie/Tilly, and Lanson/Lance. It loses the one small part of the name that could theoretically be said to relate to his mother, and that bothers me, but on the other hand the Law- connection feels like SUCH a small thing that it’s almost worse than nothing, a crumb.
Or to lean into that crumb: skip Lance, name him Lawson. James has his Jameson, you have your Lawson. (This is making me feel crabby, even though I like the name Lawson.)
Or Landon. You know how people call Prince William “Wills” sometimes? It could be like that, kind of, but…Lance.
Or Landers? A surname name like Jameson, albeit a much more unusual one. I am not keen on the way the -s blends into the T- of your surname.
I don’t like it, but I know it’s a common thing to do with names: you could name him Dylan or Declan or Rylan or Nolan or Lachlan or Alan or Holland or something, and get Lance from that. Especially in the case of Holland, people would understand why you wouldn’t want to nickname him Holly. (But I think this is just as true of Lawrence, where people would understand that this was not the era for Larry or Laurie.)
I just read a book with a good Langston. Could we get Lance from that? Langston, Langst, Lanst, Lance?
Okay, wait. Cortland/Courtland. The Cort-/Court- from your name, and then the -lan part that, since the full name is a namesake name, is perhaps more understandable to use as a nickname? “We named him Courtland after me, but he goes by Lance so it’s less confusing!” Can we make that fly? Jameson/James, Natalie/Tilly, and Cortland/Lance?
Or to abandon Lance completely: first name Beckett for your mom, Court as the middle after you. Or even middle name Courtney after you: as usage of the name decreases in the U.S., its unisex nature becomes more pronounced (according to the Social Security Administration, there were 156 new baby girls and 61 new baby boys given the name in 2020; at the name’s peak in 1990, it was given to 15,379 new baby girls and 675 new baby boys). Jameson/James, Natalie/Tilly, and Beckett/Beck.
Daniel came to mind when I was just sort of saying Samuel and Lance and looking for sound similarities, so I thought I’d mention it just in case. I know it’s a very different style of name than Lance, but it’s similar in style to Samuel.
Also Vincent, nickname Vince.
But really, when I read your idea of Lawrence/Lance, I thought “YES” and was impressed. It seems to me like the nickname Lance makes the name Lawrence fresher and more usable: I know you were working from the other direction, but I think that’s the outcome anyway, and in fact I expect this post to lead to more little Lawrence/Laurence/Lances as other parents search online and find your work-around.
Name update:
Hello!
I wanted to update you and thank one of your readers for helping us decide on the name for our 3rd and final baby. After reading through your response and going through the very helpful comments, we came to the conclusion that while we both loved the name Lance, my husband couldn’t get on board with Lawrence as the legal name. One sweet commenter came up with the name of Lanston and I loved the sound combined with our last name. Lanston “Lance” Beck was born last week and we are settling into our family of 5. Thanks again for all the advice and naming wisdom!
Courtney
I read the post title and immediately thought “Lawrence”. The end.
Same! I think Lawrence/Lance is the obvious solution.
One of the only Courtney’s I’ve known was a male so I love the suggestion as a middle or Courtland as a first and still think you could use Lance as a nickname. I also LOVE the name Lawrence and think Lance isn’t a stretch at all for the name and think the names pair well with your children.
I think Lance is even less of a stretch than Larry, as a nickname for Lawrence. LAwreNCE. It’s right there!
Also totally agree with Swistle’s last paragraph that I can see this name/nickname combo becoming more common, which would maybe help your husband/other skeptics see it as legit/not a stretch.
Congrats!
Lawrence to Lance isn’t too much of a stretch. My 16 yo nephew is Lawrence after our grandfather… I’ve tried to get Lars, Wren, Larry to stick… but the only nickname he has is LJ from his first and middle name. But I could see Lance working.
However… Cortland Beck should be THE name that you pick. Like 1000%. You deserve to be honored… maybe even more so than the grandparents have been.
My second favorite is Beckett Court or Beckett Courtney with Beck as the nickname.
Lawrence Beck comes in 3rd place.
lawrence nn lance is perfect, no notes!!!
I definitely think Lawrence could work, but your husband doesn’t like it, and that’s the issue, right? Personally, I would prefer to have the name Lansten/Lanston (as someone before me suggested) with the nn Lance. I find that more clear in terms of getting the nn but also more fresh and more in keeping with your other son’s name. Would your husband be open to Lansten/Lanston? (I prefer the -on ending.) Good luck!
I wonder if there is something more at play. It seems unlikely to me that *everyone* in your family agrees that Lance is such a stretch from Lawrence. Is there some negative association they have with Lawrence? You mention your husband does not mind Lance, which is why I’m focusing on Lawrence being the issue.
I love the suggestion of Beckett from above. For other Lance names, maybe Lincoln? Could also see Declan, Leland, Langley. Do you like Delancey? I’ve never seen it used as a first name, only a last. If you do, there’s no way they can argue that one doesn’t contain Lance!
I love Beckett Courtney. So perfect and Beck Tr… sounds excellent too!
I think Lawrence nicknamed Lance is brilliant and NOT a stretch at all!
Courtland is an excellent suggestion as well.
As I was reading your letter, I thought of:
Alan/Allen
Lachlan/Lochlan
Landon
Landry
Nolan
Roland
Lawrence-called-Lance is fantastic and makes perfect sense. Do it! I also really like Courtney for guys and would love you to use it as the middle!
Swistle’s comment made me Google Lance Bass (full name James Lance Bass), but in the “other names” section they have Lansten listed. That leans into the Lanson that Swistle mentioned above with a slight different ending than Jameson. Lansten Beck Trout or Lansten Beckett Trout.
I love Lawrence nn Lance. I don’t think it’s a stretch at all.
Love Beckett and the Cortland suggestions as well for first names.
I love Lawrence nn Lance. I agree, all the letters are there, it’s just as intuitive as many other nicknames. But I do understand how family might feel Tilly is an easier transition as it’s literally in the lazy tongue pronunciation of Na-Tilly.
I LOVE Swistle’s suggestion of Courtland nn Lance.
If it were me, I’d say to hubby “I want this child’s name to have a nod to me. I love Lawrence nn Lance, with a more subtle Law/Court tie-in, but I’d also be happy with a Courtland-we-call-him-Lance-so-it’s-not-confusing-with-Courtney.” The bonus part of Courtland is the sound is right in there, similiar to Natalie, they just have to add the ‘..ce’ and it does totally feel natural with the British convention of adding an S for nicknames (Wills.)
Good luck!
I am 100% here for Lawrence nicknamed Lance. Or Courtland/Courtney Beck.
But I also wanted to say that perhaps you could get to the nickname Wells from Samuel.
Lawrence -Lance feels quite intuitive to me. My only other thought was Clarence, which is a bigger jump (but I know a little Clarrie and I really like it).
I also missed out in the honour department. My uncle, father, husband, grandmother and father in law all got names but when I suggested a variation of my name for our son my husband literally scoffed. I am still a bit sensitive about it many years later.
Imo : Lance Courtney Beckett Trout has great flow. And in my family (where nicknames tend to be silly and transitory) I would probably call him something referencing knighthood ‘Sir Lance, your dinner is served’, ‘Lancelot Court-a-nay get in the bath!’ LOL
My son’s in a stage where his stuffies are getting named or renamed Sir [Species] alot. Sir Foxalot, Sir Porcupine-alot, etc. Only his oldest friends are keeping their old names. (Snoopy, Blue the teensy elephant, and Twist-and-Turn the polar bear.)
Lawrence as a long name for Lance was my first thought, even before reading it on the letter. It’s perfect.
Beckett is another perfect option. Beckett Lance sounds amazing (Beckett Samuel is sadly not an option).
About never using the full name for 2 kids and using it for your first kid, to me it makes perfect sense, to distinguish your son from all the James in the family, so you have a “valid” reason to do it.
It seems like Lawrence/Lance is perfect and a baby Lance would make me happy. I love the name Lawrence, but the idea of Courtland Beckett (or Cortland Beck or any other variation) called Lance makes me SWOON.
I immediately thought of Courtland Beck nicknamed Lance when I read your paragraph about your name and I’m so glad Swistle mentioned it. Honestly, I think you should do that. You deserve a namesake, the nickname works fantastically.
Lawrence – Lance is amazing, bravo. I have come to suggest Beckencourt for a middle name. Sounds like the surname Bettencourt but is really a double honor: Beck(y) and Court(ney)! Lawrence Beckencourt Trout is very debonair.
You could also go with Courtbeck (Cortbeck?) which also sounds like a snappy surname.
Lawrence was my first thought. It’s unexpected but surprisingly straightforward. It’s also a great style match for Jameson. I have to wonder if there’s another reason Lawrence is getting push back from your husband. You mentioned with Natalie ‘Tilly’ you both instantly fell in love with the combination. This time it sounds like only you fell in love with the combination. Reading between the lines, I’d say your husband thinks it’s just okay.
My next thought was Clarence. It draws a dusty cowboy image I could see working with Jameson and Tilly. Clarence ‘Lance’ Beck or Clarence ‘Lance’ Beckett. The main appeal of Clarence over Lawrence is that you would share first and last initials ‘CT’. It may not be the sort of honour you were hoping for yourself, but I’d think of it as a creative solution to get the things that matter to you; a first name combination you and your husband love and agree on, an honour name for your mum, and an honour for you. I would be sure to phrase it that way too so your intention with the initials is clear.
If there are no long forms you can agree on, do consider using Lance on it’s own. I think the everyday use you would get out of Lance would be far higher than the occasions you would use his surname. Best of luck!
First off, I don’t think Lawrence to Lance is too much of a stretch. But if it won’t fly, I did like the suggestions of Courtland as a first or Courtney or Beckett as a middle. How about Lachlan?
I have a daughter with a nickname that is an extreme stretch from her given name. Philomena, but she goes by Pippa. Like, not even the same sounds to get that nickname. And I can’t think of one time where it has come up naturally in conversation. No one has asked if Pippa is short for something. Every once in a while someone will hear me call her Philomena and the person will ask, but I just say something along the lines of “this was our compromise” or “the last kid got all the remaining names”…there really are lots of reasons we came by this combination but people mostly don’t care to hear the details :) As long as you have a one sentence explanation that’s usually all that they expect and I’ve never had anyone super shocked by it.
Agree with Swistle and the other commenters that Lawrence nn Lance is not too much of a stretch! But I also feel like Lance is one of those nicknames that can be used regardless of the given name — like Buzz or Skip. I knew a guy in college who went by Chip, though his given name was Arthur. Lance seems like it fits in that genre to me.
I also like Lawrence to Lance, and Clarence to Lance. My relative was just Lance with a single syllable last name, and it sounds great (Think Lance Trank).
I think Courtland seems good.
Good luck on your naming situation
I don’t think Lawrence is a stretch for Lance at all! I will say, depending on how much your last name sounds like trout, that the name Lance Trout is maybe a little funny in a world with a Lance Bass. It wouldn’t be enough to make me choose a different name, but I would want to have realized it beforehand (if that makes sense).
I love Lance as a nickname for Lawrence! You should definitely go with that!!
Oh I wish there was a poll!
Definitely do not think it’s too much of a stretch to use Lance for Lawrence. Seems similar to Natalie/Tilly to me.
The only other suggestion I could think of was Landry?
1. Lawrence nn. Lance is incredible. Just do it.
My favorites of the options are:
Lawrence Beck nn. Lance
Courtland Beck nn. Lance
Beckett Courtland nn. Beck
In the spirit of Cooper, Porter, Archer……how about Lancer? Easy leap to nn Lance.
OR Chancellor — I love this one with Jameson.
Chancellor Courtney T_______.
Chancellor Beck T________
I think Lawrence -> Lance is completely doable, and I’m also a big fan of subtle connections that are meaningful just because they mean something to someone….so I like that Law is in there too. (I also wonder what other fun law-connection names you could come up with…something Latin maybe?)
I also saw Lancaster as a possibility. It’s not my style, but it might be yours.
I do very much like the sound of Lansing. It’s almost enough to make me abandon my personal dislike of place names. But, I’ve never been to Lansing, and it seems like the kind of name where people would expect a connection. But maybe it’s where you took your bar exam or something…in which case, do it!
Coming back because I’ve been stewing on how we can incorporate your own name into this baby’s name, if your husband won’t budge on Lawrence.
Would you consider using Court or Courtney as his middle name? Any name that starts or ends with LAN would give you Lan C = Lance. You could use Beck as a second middle. Even though your other children only have one middle name, honoring mom & grandma >>>>> all kids have the same number of middle names.
Alternately, you could do Name Starting with L + Andrew + Court/Courtney = Lance. I see from your Tilly letter that your moms middle name is Anne, so this honors everyone and preserves the nickname you want. But if Lawrence is a stretch, this definitely is a stretch.
And lastly, for what it is worth: I think you can prioritize honoring yourself over your mom. It’s very sweet to include everyone, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way! Men name their sons Jr’s before honoring their own dad all the time.
There are 4 living Elisabeths on my paternal side. Only one of us has a typical Elisabeth nickname. The youngest Elisabeth goes exclusively by Quinn. A little surprising at first, but Quinn she is and it’s all good.
Go for Lawrence, or even Samuel!, and call him Lance. It’ll be fine.
I second the idea of using Courtney as the middle name! Or even do a double middle name, so you can still honor your mom: Lawrence Courtney Beck.
I LOVE Swistle’s suggestion of Courtland nn Lance. LOVE. LOOOOOOVVVVVVE
But I’m also on Team Lawrence nn Lance, because I have a cousin Lawrence who absolutely HATES the nn Larry, and whose brother Charles goes by Chas. So.
But Courtland nn Lance. YES.
Lawrence is perfect- and Laurence Beck has the perfect flow. Plus, I love subtle honor names and as the mom it is important that a name be meaningful to you.
As another commenter said- Lance is literally in Lawrence. LAwreNCE. People fighting you need to get over themselves.
Lawrence nn Lance is perfect. It seems even more intuitive that Natalie nn Tilly, so I wonder if the pushback is just because people don’t like the name Lawrence.
What about Langston (as in Hughes)?
I also like the ideas of either Courtland or Beckett, and I agree that you should have a namesake in there somehow. Lawrence Courtland Beckett Trout? I don’t think that’s too much.
I absolutely love when babies are named after a name that a commenter had suggested! Great work on this name, and it feels like such a natural way to get “Lance”. Congratulations and thanks for the update!