Hi Swistle,
Hoping you can help us out!
I am due in 2 weeks with my second baby. I haven’t found out what the baby’s sex will be but am hung up on boy names.
Baby boy names at the top of the list are Nathan, Finn and Nicholas. Others which we have rejected for one reason or another include Hayes, Henry and William.
Our last name is of British background with an -er ending, think Cooper.
If this baby is a girl, she will be Kate or Hazel. I would say our naming style is pretty traditional with perhaps a soft spot for 80s names. We probably will have 2 or 3 children.
My daughter is named Elliott. If my daughter had been a boy, she would have been named Nathan. A few months after Elliott, my sister had a baby and named him Ethan. With Ethan as our nephew (who we are close with), is it acceptable to name our child Nathan? This is the only factor holding us back. We love the name Nathan and would mainly be calling him Nate.
Finn feels a bit trendy to me and I love Nicholas but not Nick or Nicky, so am reluctant on it. William got ruled out as it’s the name of my husband’s grandfather and I don’t love the idea of naming baby after anyone. Hayes is a bit trendy and I always thought “Haze” so we nixed it. Henry got the axe as the “r” sound is difficult for me to pronounce in my heritage language so a translation or transliteration of the name or any name with a “r” sound would be hard for me to pronounce in that language. We have ruled out names ending in “-er” due to our last name also ending in “-er”.
Opinions please on the Nathan and Ethan dilemma plus any other suitable names in the vein of my taste are welcome! Thank you so much for the help.
I think it’s totally fine to use the name Nathan. A cousin named Ethan seems like a non-issue to me: the names may have the same ending, but they sound and feel enough different—maybe not enough for siblings, but enough for cousins, even close cousins who spend a lot of time together. And if you would call him Nate, that makes it even less of an issue.
Another possibility is using the name Nathaniel: you could still call him Nate, but it removes even the tiny worry that matching name endings would be a problem. But I don’t think this is necessary at all: if you prefer Nathan, I think you can go right ahead and use Nathan.
Other names I wonder if you might like: Benjamin, Calvin, Nolan, Simon, Wesley, Wilson. But it seems to me you’ve already found the winner with Nathan.
The girl-name options catch my interest: the name Elliott/Elliot has unisex usage in the United States, and is currently used more often for boys; Kate and Hazel, on the other hand, are used exclusively for girls. [Note: according to the Social Security Administration, there were 6 new baby boys named Hazel in 2019—but in that same year there were 15 new baby boys named Sophia, 11 new baby boys named Elizabeth, 12 new baby boys named Olivia, and 14 new baby boys named Isabella, and yet it still feels accurate to say that all those names are used exclusively for girls.] If I saw a sibling set of Elliott/Kate, or Elliott/Hazel, I would assume brother/sister. This doesn’t mean I would advise deliberately choosing names you like less than Kate and Hazel, just to match the usage of the name Elliott—but if you WERE looking to expand your list of girl-name options, I might be suggesting names such as Keaton and Darcy and Finley and Hollis and Reese and Teagan.
Name update:
Hi Swistle,
I have time to provide an update and love reading others’ so here we go.
I wrote you 2 weeks from my due date and was stressing because I was sure 1- I was having a boy and 2- that you may not answer my question before I had the baby.
Well, thank you for your comprehensive and clear answer and also for all the thoughtful commenters. The insight was so helpful and timely, as I ended up having the baby 6 days before my due date. Reading everything took such a load off.
The baby was a girl so the Nathan/Ethan dilemma became irrelevant. We named her Kate, which we know will likely make Nathan obsolete if we have a third and it’s a boy. Given we are unsure about the future of our family, we’re more than ok with this trade off.
Thank you so much again for your expertise and your help, and for that of the commenters! I so appreciate it.
I don’t think a cousin named Ethan should rule out Nathan. I like the idea of using Nathaniel, but I think Nathan is fine, too. If it’s only the nicknames Nick and Nicky holding you back from Nicholas, I don’t think they are inevitable. I know a boy who has always gone by Nicholas exclusively and he’s a high school senior, so it seems to have stuck. There’s also Nico or Cole if those appeal more. Do you like Isaac? It seems to fit into your boy name style.
Of your girl names, I prefer Hazel.
+1 for alternate nicknames for Nicholas. Nico and Cole are both lovely nicknames, and pair well with Elliot.
Nathan and Ethan cousins are no big deal.
I too noticed your girl names. My sister has two daughters, one with a popular exclusively girl name, one with an unusual gender neutral name. Occasionally it confuses people- they look for a boy because the name styles are so different. I don’t think it’s a deal breaker but you should just be aware. I really like Finley for you.
Nathan-called-Nate, with cousin Ethan, doesn’t seem like much of an issue to me!
If you have a Nate, that might rule out a future Kate (or vice versa). Hazel would be a nice choice for a girl! But you could also go with Katherine as a full name, which creates more opportunities for different non-Nate-rhyming nicknames: Kat, Kit, Kathy, etc.
Some other boy names that might be of interest:
Seymour
Howard
Gordon
Hugh
Conrad
Arthur
I think cousins Nathan and Ethan are no big deal at all, especially if you plan to mainly use Nate.
Re Swistle’s thoughts on Elliott, for some reason – even though I understand Elliott falls into the category of names she describes – it’s one of those names to be that doesn’t *feel* gender neutral in that way, it feels feminine on a girl and masculine on a boy. Maybe because of the abbreviation Ellie, or maybe it’s that the name Elliott has Jane Austen or George Elliott connotations so doesn’t feel modern? I would compare it to names like Robin and Avery rather than Keaton or Darcy?
I agree Nathan is a non-issue. Why not just Nate?
But the fact you’re talking nicknames for boy formal names makes me wonder if you call Elliott Ellie? Although your girl name list is no-nickname. I’d find a sibset of Ellie and Kate perfectly suited.
The only girl Elliott I know goes almost exclusively by Ellie and her sister is Alexandr@ almost always Alex. So I guess people might find Ell1e & Alex jarring? Eh. Finding a name you love for your second time is hard enough. You’ve got great options (all without the R you’re avoiding) so maybe even wait to meet baby! Good luck!
I don’t think Ethan and Nathan for cousins is an issue. I like Nathaniel as well.
Not to “well, actually” this thread, but I do know a male Hazel! I think he’s about 5 or 6 now.
It’s interesting because if imagine myself as a non English speaker who has never come across the name before I can see myself assuming Hazel was a male name. It fits so many boy name boxes: a tree, the colour brown, the H initial, two syllable ends in el like Michael and Daniel. Makes perfect sense as a cross over name!
But it’s also a lovely name for a little girl! Hazel Kate is lovely.
I think Nathan is fine with a cousin Ethan, but I love Nathaniel nn Nate to distance the names even more.
I do think Nate would rule out a future Kate and vice-versa, so keep in mind which one of them you really don’t want to give away.
So, do you prefer:
Elliott, Nate and Hazel
Or
Elliott, Kate and Finn/Nicholas?
Some other ideas:
For a girl: Lucian. Elliott and Lucian/Lucy.
For a boy: Jacob. Elliot and Jacob/Jake.
Would not have thought of it but that Lucian/Lucy idea is a stroke of genius, Iris!
For what it’s worth, I actually share a first name with one of my cousins (it’s a family name that both our parents wanted to use), and even that has never been an issue. So based on my experience, Nathan and Ethan is no big deal.
I also have a distinctly female name while my sister has a gender neutral name, and that’s never been a big deal, either (in response to comments regarding Elliott and Kate or Hazel). I’m so used to our names together, I hadn’t even really thought about it until now. Follow your heart!
I think Nathan/Nate is totally ok- it’s even a cute family cousins connection/story if they DO end up being very close for many years.
But also thought if you are looking for a solution to Nicholas, maybe use the nn Cole???
Elliot and Nicholas
Ellie and Cole
Ethan and Nathan don’t sound at all the same the way I say them so it took me awhile to even figure out the issue.
I say Ethan more like Eth-IN and Nathan Nath-AN.
If that’s all that’s concerning you, I’d go with Nathan.
I think Elliot still skews male if people had to guess, but I know two families that have a girl Elliot with a more feminine named sister. I think it’s inching towards the more neutral!
Plus I think Nathan/Nate is no problem! I love the name Nate :)
I think the boys named Sophia on the SSA list might in part be due to clerical errors marking the gender, more than a parent thinking “Sophia is our choice for a boy’s name!”
Congrats on Baby Kate! It’s one of my personal favorite names!