Good morning, Swistle!
We’re looking for some input on naming our second little boy, due in May 2021! Older brother is Finn Alden, last name is like Stuart. The middle name for this new baby boy will be Albert, which is an honor name from the husband’s side. This is our last baby! I love Finn because it feels sweet, it’s trendy but not “new” by any means. I’m usually fairly old fashioned in my name preferences, though. Below are our name finalists, though open to suggestions too!
Finalists:
Dax – short and feels trendy like Finn, but is it too trendy? It doesn’t have the history of the other names on the list. But we do like the sci-fi connections of both Finn and Dax, and the one-syllable-ness sounds good with the mn and ln to my ears.
Duncan – feels sweet like Finn; means “dark warrior” while Finn means “white, fair,” which could be a cute contrast (though Albert means “noble, bright”)
Newton – husband LOVES this name, but I can’t quite get there though it has the Harry Potter connection. Is it *too* odd? Does Finn & Newton sound too much like “Fig Newton”?
Jude – my mother’s name is Judy and Judith was always my top girl name pick. But Jude feels a little “cool” for a nerdy family? Also the mn choice Albert is already an honor name from my husband’s side.
Stanley – love the sound with our last name. Cute for a little one. Don’t know how it will age with him.P.S. I would probably name the baby Gilbert (after Anne of Green Gables) if my husband didn’t HATE it.
Thanks so much!
Bethany
Normally I am in favor of using honor names unaltered. But I know not everyone feels the same about that, so I will mention that I notice that your favorite boy name, Gilbert, is similar to the honor name you’re planning to use from your husband’s side, Albert, and I wonder if some compromise could be reached there.
Speaking more generally, I recommend parents periodically check in on the balance of the names: not with the goal of careful score-keeping and exact equality (there are many legitimate reasons for things to be uneven), but just to see if there are places where one parent might agree that the other parent should have a little more say this time, which can make the naming decision easier overall. So for example, looking at the six names total for both children: Are the surnames from your husband’s side of the family? Is Alden an honor name, and if so, from which side of the family? Did either parent have more say in your first son’s first/middle name? And so on.
On to the names. I’m afraid I did go right to Fig Newton. I’m not saying it’s reasonable, I’m not denying that my brain is currently in a heightened state of election/pandemic-related anxiety that may be altering my sensitivity to such things; I am only saying that yes, when I said “Finn and Newton,” I immediately thought of Fig Newtons.
And it feels fair to me, too, that Newton and Gilbert would both be eliminated: when a naming decision is difficult, the names that get cut from the first round are the ones that are very high for one parent and very low for the other. In fact, have I talked about that naming exercise recently? Here it is: Each parent writes down all the names under joint consideration, in order of preference. It is fine to rank more than one name the same; for example, you might have a list that looks like this:
Gilbert 1
Duncan 2
Dax 2
Jude 3
Stanley 3
Newton 4
And maybe your husband’s list would look like this:
Newton 1
Dax 2
Jude 2
Duncan 2
Stanley 3
Gilbert 4
Looking at those two lists together, we can see that we won’t maximize joint happiness by using either Gilbert or Newton. (Those can be set aside as compromise material: perhaps one parent will agree to a particular first name if they can have their “this was never going to be the first name” choice as the middle name.) We can also see in this fake example that Stanley is a third-tier name for both parents, so it’s unlikely to be the winner when both parents have Dax and Duncan rated as second-tier choices. (I hate to do this to the name Stanley, even as a pretend thing!)
When I look at the list, two names stand out to me as being particularly good with Finn. One is Duncan, and the other is Jude. For me, the family connection of Jude is enough to tip it: I LOVE the idea of naming your son after your mother, and to me it’s a plus that it balances the honor middle name (and surname, if applicable) from your husband’s side. I do think the name Jude is a little cool, but (1) I also think the name Finn is a little cool and (2) I feel like the honor-name explanation really helps.
And I think the name Dax has even more of the “Is this a little too cool?” issue, plus it’s a little hard to say with the surname.
To go back to Duncan: I do think that works beautifully, too. Without an honor connection, I would be very torn between Duncan and Jude.
I like the name Stanley so much, I want you to use it and I don’t want to take it off the list—but to me it doesn’t fit as well with Finn. It feels like a generational jump and a style mismatch. I would use the name Stanley with brother names like Franklin or Warren.
Let’s see if we can find some more names to consider.
Callum; Finn and Callum
Dean; Finn and Dean
Declan; Finn and Declan
Eli; Finn and Eli
Henry; Finn and Henry
Keane; Finn and Keane
Keegan; Finn and Keegan
Leo; Finn and Leo
Milo; Finn and Milo
Perry; Finn and Perry
Reid; Finn and Reid
Shay; Finn and Shay
Teague; Finn and Teague
Wesley; Finn and Wesley
I LOVE Jude for you. It sounds great with Finn and I love that it honors your mother. It’s also a name that I can see on lots of different personalities. Jude the musician, Jude the lacrosse player, Jude the Quiz Bowl team captain – it seems perfect for your kid!
I’m on team Jude – it feels right. I don’t think it’s too cool. I suspect the honor name will give you a lifetime of happiness.
I vote Jude. The level of trendy but also “not new” is the same to me and I love the connection to your mother. It seems like the other possibilities are style mismatches.
I like Jude best for you, second place to Duncan
JUDE!!!! I love that it honors your mother (especially since you had planned to use Judith if given the opportunity) and I think it goes beautifully with Finn. To me it feels like the same level of coolness as Finn and I can envision the name on a variety of different kinds of boys/men. I think Jude Albert is lovely. Perfection!!
I love Jude as well, probably mostly because of the Judy/Judith connection. I suppose enough time has passed that there won’t be a lot of “Hey, Jude!” but it’s what I think of when I hear the name Jude.
I think both Jude and Duncan are wonderful. I’d lean towards Duncan, but how about bringing them both to the delivery room and seeing what fits him best?
I’d also suggest Everett, Emmett, and Beau.
Jude is my favorite here, by a lot!!
I am going against the Jude tide here but out of your name options, I prefer Dax.
Finn and Dax sound like fun, cool brothers. The sci fi nerd in me appreciates the suble nod, too.
Team Jude! I love it so much!
Names I like that give me a similar FEEL to me, as maybe-possible’s? Lincoln, Norman. I like Wyatt and Everett, but maybe they may not go as well with the last name?
Dax sounds to me like an industrial cleaner – I then googled it, and it is….indeed an industrial cleaner. :(
Another vote for team Jude! I like the symmetry of Finn Alden and Jude Albert. It’s excellent. (If Jude feels too cool, there’s maybe Julian nn Jude? Julian Albert!)
Second choice Duncan. But really, use Jude!
I Like Finn and Jude. Jude Albert Stuart sounds good too!
I vote Duncan! To my ears, it sounds so perfect with Finn that it would be a done deal for me. Jude is a good choice, too, I agree. This is so subjective maybe I shouldn’t even mention it, but to my ear, Finn and Duncan have exactly the same “cool” factor. They both sound trendy enough to be fresh and fun, yet both seem like classic, solid names.
Team Jude all the way!
Congratulations!
JUDE.
So one note on Jude. You’ll have to think about how much you like the Beatles song and whether or not you’d mind that being a thing in your head a lot. / whether you’d mind other people singing it a lot to you when they meet the baby. Not sure if this would fade as he ages.
We have a Finn and a Reid and I think they are perfect together! I also love Keane with Finn and was bummed it didn’t work with our surname.
I have a Susannah and had to think through the song connection being the association most people have with the name.
It was day 2 or 3 before someone sang the song when meeting her … I’m sure it was sung earlier privately though. I have not found it to be an annoying association. Peers don’t even know it, and I think that will be the same with Jude. You’ll have the occasional adult sing “Hey Jude” just as we have the occasional adult sing “O Susannah”. But it’s always done in fun and never meant to be derogatory. My Susannah is seven and it’s really been a non issue both for her and for us.
For what it’s worth, when I read what you love about your son’s name Jude really stood out on your list as ticking all the boxes … and an honour name to boot!
I wonder if you might like Dashiell with the nickname Dash? Similar in sound to Dax, but the full name has similar vibes to that of some of your other top picks: gently old-fashioned but on trend.
I love this suggestion! On a similar note, I want to suggest Desmond with the nickname Des.
I vote for Jude!
But also wanted to suggest Neil.
I have two boys Finn and Max – so throwing that out 😊
Duncan would be a fabulous choice! It’s classic but has a fresh ring to it and goes well with the last name.
To me “Jude” repeats too much of the “oo” sound from Stuart. Dax does seem a bit trendy.
I love love LOVE Duncan. Duncan Albert Stuart just sounds so good. And I like how it sounds with Finn. Jude is a close second because I love the name, but personally it doesn’t quite edge out Duncan.
Duncan isn’t a name I generally love, but it fits so well with what you’ve got. ♥️
I really like Jude and Duncan. To me they both go with Finn but in different ways. Jude and Finn do give more current, trendy vibes. Duncan and Finn are a sweet sounding pair. They send my mind to classic American literature.
Some others to consider:
Nolan
Dill
Rory
Graham
I really like the name Dexter nn Dex for you!
Or Swistle’s suggestion of Wesley nn Wes