Hello!!
I just found out I am having a boy! This is my third child. My first is a boy (Miles David Crosby) and my second is a girl (Neeva Jean Crosby). My husband’s name is David Arnold Crosby III – and he goes by Tripp as the third. We agreed to not name our first boy David Arnold Crosby and didn’t follow the tradition. It just wasn’t something I felt great about. My husband is the perfect “Tripp” (he is a comedian) and it just fits him so well. We didn’t have a good name for the fourth that we felt good about so we nodded to his name by giving Miles the middle name David.
My second, my daughter, has a very special name after the woman who adopted my grandmother and saved our family. Her middle name is the same middle name of my husband’s grandmother.
Ok enough about them!
My third is a boy and I am so excited… but all of the names we liked were girl names. My maiden name is Joiner. My husband loves the idea of using Joiner as a first name. I haven’t been able to hear it as a first name but I am trying to figure out if that’s just because it has been my last name for my whole life! Another option would be my mother’s maiden name, Dean. Which I really love but my husband isn’t sure about. I think I am just trying to figure out if we would always get a weird response to the first name Joiner or if it would catch on as a first name.
Please help!
Hannah
I am so keen on using family surnames as first names when possible. I think Joiner might work as a first name, though I am going back and forth about it. I do like it better with the “It’s my maiden name” explanation. And I like it a little better if I think of Joi as sounding like Joy. And it certain ought to fit with all the other occupational names: Mason, Sawyer, Carter, Cooper. But I didn’t know joiner was an occupation until I looked it up, so my first association was somewhat negative: “a joiner,” like “a follower,” is not something we generally use as a positive way to describe someone. And Joiner is not currently used at all as a first name in the U.S., and so I think part of the package deal of this name would be a fair amount of repeating, explaining, and spelling. Still, if I picture encountering this name in the wild and then hearing “It’s my maiden name” (or, later, “It’s my mother’s maiden name”), I immediately like it a whole lot more.
I’m not sure how well it works in the sibling group: Miles, Neeva, and Joiner. Miles could be considered a surname name, too, but a more familiar one than Joiner, and also of course much more familiar than Joiner as a first name. But if I imagine brothers named Miles and Joiner, it seems like a slightly startling style shift.
But DEAN. You have the option of using DEAN and you’re not IMMEDIATELY SPRINGING ON IT?? Miles, Neeva, and Dean is an amazing sibling group. And it’s your mother’s maiden name! And a familiar surname and first name! I love it. Dean Crosby!
Dean Joiner Crosby. Perfection.
Agree 100% Dean Joiner is amazing and meaningful to your family, go for it!
Yep! The perfect solution!
Dean Joiner Crosby is awesome!! YES YES YES. ALL THE HEART EYES
For me, Joiner does not pass the “would I be ok with it as my own first name” test. But Dean Joiner Crosby is great.
Dean Crosby sounds a lot like Bing Crosby. Not saying it is a good or bad thing just pointing that out! Also, I think Miles and Joiner are absolutely precious sibling names. I think Joiner Crosby is one of those names that makes you say, “How did someone get named such a cool, unique name?” At least that’s the response when I hear of athletes or actors who have unique but very interesting names. I personally love it with your other kids names as well!
I think Joiner totally works as a first name!!
I think Joiner could work, but I like Dean, too. And Dean Joiner gives you D.J. if you like initial nicknames (not that you’d have to use it if you don’t).
And I like JD too if you did want to stick with Joiner as the first name.
If you are looking strictly for votes, I have a slight preference for Dean. But I think it’s a win-win with either Joiner or Dean for the first name! And I love the idea of using the other for the middle — you can have Dean for him to “fall back on” if he doesn’t love Joiner. You could have DJ or JD as easy nicknames. And your maiden paired with your mom’s maiden?!?!?! Oh my gosh. It’s a can’t lose situation!
Congratulations!
Dean Joiner Crosby is absolutely perfect.
I like it! I immediately thought of Joiner as more of a “bridge” connecting two sides rather than “follower.” It might add a little travel flare with Miles, which isn’t a bad thing either. Rather than a “follower” in the negative sense, it seems like a connection, a meeting. I really like Joiner Dean. What a cool name, especially paired with Crosby!
Joiner just doesn’t work as a first name for me. The meaning isn’t great and it has a meaning that most people will know and recognize, unlike something like Cooper.
I vote Dean, with Joiner as a possible middle.
I fall on the “no” side for Joiner, especially with a Miles. It just doesn’t sound like a name to me when put with Miles and Neeva. I actually have a baby Miles who just turned 1. My other boys are Jack and James, and I think Dean would fit perfect with this style. Joiner could work great in the middle name spot though!
Joiner Dean Crosby. Dean Joiner Crosby.
Both are nice but I lean just a tad towards Dean Joiner.
Miles, Neeva, Joiner is a fun ecclectic sibset. I think it works because Neeva is also a unique name. Miles, Neeva, Dean swings more familiar and the “n” sounds in Neeva and Dean make it pleasant.
I think both work. Choose your favorite!
Joiner as a first name is going to be A Thing. Every person who meets him is going to ask about it. He’s going to be instantly identifiable on google because it’s a singular name. I vote no.
Dean is a great name!
I also love Dean! Sadly it sounded weird with our one-syllable surname.
But I think Dean Joiner Crosby is great!!!
The teasing potential for Joiner makes it a hard no for me. Though I suppose if you were never teased, maybe the risk is lower? My maiden name can also a first name (Harrison) and I always thought it was so boring that I never even vaguely considered it for my boys, so I do understand that hesitation too. Miles and Dean sound jazzy together, so Dean gets my enthusiastic vote!
I like Joiner! I agree with pp who said the meaning to me sounds more like creating a connection than “follower”. I like the Joy sound. There is a pretty popular upcoming rapper named Joiner Lucas who will be a strong and singular association for people who are into that. That might be a point against Joiner for you.
Dean is nice, but I like Joiner better because it is more interesting. Dean Lastname always makes me think of the dean at a school.
To me, Joiner means someone who brings others together, so it’s a positive association.
I wouldn’t want it for a first name as is. You can, however, use nicknames like Joe or Jon to make it more friendly for everyday use.
Dean Joiner sounds good, but both names are nouns, so you might want to consider the possibility of it reading as a phrase.
I don’t personally like Joiner as a first name. It doesn’t lend itself easily as a first name like some surnames do…Dean being one of them of course.
That said—if it brought you immense joy to use it, I would think that you should. But it seems from your letter like the name that would bring you joy is Dean and that feels pretty special to me.
Dean Joiner Crosby vote here too. It is a great name with a lot of style. And both boys have a D initial to honor the family tradition of David.
With Joiner, I just can’t get away from the not-a-leader association. Last names are known to be rather fixed. But first names carry a lot more (rightly or wrongly) implied connotation about a individual’s personality. For example, what different assumptions do you make of a boy with the last name of King versus a first name of King? Both are perfectly usable but the implied connotation is different. One feels like Smith the other like Messiah.
I cannot get behind Joiner as a first name. Very negative association IMO. Dean sounds great with big brother Miles!
Don’t overthink it…Dean Joiner Crosby is perfect!
As much as I love a parent’s last name as a first name, as much as “it’s my maiden name” answers a lot of quizzical looks, as much as I get positive “bringing people together” vibes from Joiner, its unfamiliarity as a first name would be a deal-breaker for me. I do love it as a middle name and think Dean Joiner Crosby is a real winner.
I feel like this family has such lovely collaborative names so far (how often do we read of a III who doesn’t try to force a IV?), that I want both parents to really like the name. I feel like Joiner isn’t doing it for you and Dean isn’t working for him so back to the drawing board. I would celebrate choosing a name you both LOVE with a double middle name. Graham Dean Joiner Crosby?
I have a strong preference for Dean. I don’t mind Joiner in the middle name spot, but only because it’s your maiden name. For me, Joiner doesn’t work as a name and fails my “would I want this name for myself?” test… it fails that test HARD. Maybe try thinking about what type of adult person you envision when you think of them having that name? (For me, it’s… not positive.) Can you see it on a quiet, bookish dude? A high powered exec? A tradesperson? A business owner?
I think Joiner is also very jarring in the sibset, but Dean fits in perfectly. Miles, Neeva and Dean. Perfection!
I would not want my name to be Joiner, so I can’t vote for it. Dean Crosby does evoke Dean Martin and Bing Crosby, but I think that’s hugely preferable to Joiner as a first name.
I suppose that an effortlessly cool sort of person who is clearly not a follower could pull it off, but Americans so value independence and leadership that I don’t think that it’s a name that most people would want to have.
Dean Joiner Crosby is so kick ass. So many great nickname options. Resonance with Jackie Joyner Kersee, which is a really positive association for me.
Why not Joiner? For me the associations are multiple and strong:
-Joints, as in MJ
-Joining an activities
-the job (is it putting pipes together…pipes and weed. Maybe I just have a lot of weed associations)
-personal association of -er and “job names” as time stamped to the 2010s
That being said, if I met a Joiner, I’m sure it wouldn’t be long before I’d call him Joi or JD or just Joiner. You have two good options but I think the baggage is minimized with DJC.
I just have to comment on the name Neeva. It is beautiful!
I have to agree with everyone here. Joiner has a very strong connotation and not a positive one. I would hate have my name be Joiner. Dean Joiner is nice though.
I read the title and my immediate response was NO. But after reading and sitting in the question… I’m thinking maybe?
Since Swistle titles her advice by listing siblings I instantly cringed as I pictured a birth announcement that said Baby Joiner joins big sibling Miles and Neeva. I fully recognize this is based on my first introduction to the name being this title. But to be honest, I’m not totally over it. I think it’s quite common for kids born later in the family to feel they were just tacked onto an existing family in some ways. And I would hate if some little love out there felt that way and on top of ot their name was Joiner. It would feel like that’s their whole identity!!
Do you plan on having more kids? I think if he was in the middle of a 5 or 6 kid sib group it’d be less an issue. But if he’s the baby if the family…
All that said.. Reading that it’s your maiden name and saying it repeatedly in my mind, I don’t hate it as a name. If this was baby #1 I might be writing, go for it!! It’s meaningful and fun!! Good luck.
Dean Joiner C is great. But, if your husbands not totally on board with Dean, and you think using 2 names from your family feels a bit much, Dean Arnold C works well. Or, perhaps another name from your husband’s side of the family for the middle. Or a name your husband particularly loves.
The obvious answer here is Dean Joiner Crosby
Oh, I like Joiner. At first I was “meh,” but when I saw it was a maiden name, YEP. I’m on board. Joiner Dean. JD.
My first association was also Joyner Lucas. But I’m not a big fan of Joiner as a first name. Dean Joiner works much better.
I don’t think Dean Crosby sounds like Bing Crosby. Maybe it’s just because of Dean Martin?
This comment-conversation is so interesting! As someone with an atypical first name that was a family maiden name, I like to think I have some added perspective and I think Joiner is great. I prefer it to Dean, especially with the surname (I picture myself trying to make a Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, James Dean association you’re remember the baby’s name and then getting them mixed up.) But ultimately you have to pick the name that works best for your family! I can’t wait to read the update!
I’m surprised by the number of comments going against Joiner here. I think it’s a fantastic choice; though, it echoes the sounds of my own surname so I feel like I have an automatic association with it. Joiner as an occupation was my first thought on seeing the name in the title, and for that I have no negative connotations. I feel like others would get on board this name pretty quickly when it becomes the name of a little boy. And I’m obviously the only one who also thinks Joiner Dean sounds awesome. A big vote for Joiner Dean.